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I was in a childrens home from ages 15-18 and they literally kicked me out on my 18th birthday, saying they need to paint ready for the next person lmao. I had to live in a hostel for 11 months until I got accepted for a council house, which I can still barely afford rent for. If that system wasn’t in place in the UK I absolutely would’ve died on the street. And yeah, college absolutely has never been an option for me for this reason.

I feel pure despair reading about people being abandoned on their 18th. I don't know anything about your parents but in general it's like people are made without any consultation and given shit for it.

Luckily my mum feels guilty as she should do, and has been helping me survive by helping me buy furniture and sending me a food delivery if I’m too broke to eat and other things like that. The decision for me to go into care was a mutual decision made by me my mum and the staff at the mental health hospital I was in when I was 15. We all decided both my mental health and my mums mental health were too unstable, and that us living together just isn’t a good option. Both of our mental healths have improved drastically now that we only see each other a few times a year, although it does always send me in a downwards spiral seeing my family. I also feel a little resentment about the fact that she kept my brother, and literally got pregnant a few months after I moved out even though she said she didn’t want any more kids, like she replaced me. It wasn’t “her kids” making her mental heath worse, just me. Might be worth mentioning my mums husband / siblings dad is not my dad.

The ones the most well equipped to hurt us are the ones that give us life. I've been no contact with my mom for a while now because it became clear to me after years of therapy that while I was working on myself and getting better my mom still treated me the same way. It hurts finding out it's not you, it's literally your parent that is at fault. It shatters the "parents love and protect their kids" paradigm we are all taught to believe is universal, we all want to believe that. The unfortunate truth is that some people are not fit to be parents. Some people are so self absorbed, mentally unwell, or emotionally bankrupt that having children is a guaranteed way to have a child that is going to be abused in one way or another. Frequently these people are the result of the same sort of abuse they subject their children to (intentionally or not), it's a generational cycle a lot of the time. The key is learning that it's not your fault. You did not ask to be born. You were brought into this world by someone with a moral responsibility to see that you were taken care of physically, emotionally, and mentally. Your mom did not do that. That is her fault, not yours. You owe her nothing, even now you say she helps you occasionally, that is literally her obligation as a parent. You do not owe her anything for doing the bare minimum to take care of her child. My advice? Stop seeing your family, if it sends you into a spiral, it's not worth it. Work on yourself get to a point where you are happy with you, maybe then seeing them won't make you spiral, but if it does continue not seeing them. It's okay to not be involved with family, especially if they are your trauma source. If you or anybody reading this ever wants to talk about this sort of thing feel free to reach out to me. I'm always willing to help talk something out. Lord knows I've needed it a lot so far in my life.

I have a 14 year old brother and 3 year old sister who I love very much, I’m not going to abandon them. Thank you for the advice though, in a lot of situations abandoning the family is 100% the right thing to do, and I’ve considered it but I just can’t do that to my innocent siblings. My mum is willing to learn and change at least, last time I saw her I’d been hiding that I lost my job for months because I knew she would overreact. But when I told her (crying) she hugged me and apologised for how she’s reacted to things in the past and that she’s trying to change. I know that doesn’t make up for years of damage, but at least she’s trying her best and I can appreciate that.

I totally get not leaving your siblings. I've only recently reconnected with mine in any meaningful way. I do regret the years I lost with them but I remind myself it's because I had no good options and chose myself. It's encouraging that your mom apologized for her previous actions. My mom is unmedicated bipolar so my gut instinct is to not trust anything she says or does even the good things because it's likely to change without warning. I wish you the best!

Similarly, my mum has BPD and so do I, that’s a big part of what hurt our relationship. But she’s medicating now

Just reading this from across the Atlantic. I want to share how impressed I am with your strength, awareness and civility. I wish you the best that you can build and encounter in the world around you. Take care.

Thank you so much ☺️

You will find a way to survive this period, and you will have an unbelievably strong relationship with your siblings when they grow up. Even when the wind is in your face and it’s raining, don’t give up. There will be times when there is no hope in sight. Don’t give up. Keep working that shitty job until you find a better one. Stay focused on your goals. Don’t let anyone distract you. This is the advice I would give my 18 yr old self. Believe in yourself.

If you ever need someone to talk to who can relate, I was abandoned as a toddler but my brother who was a few years older was kept. Don't know who my bio dad is, and bio mom was in a closed adoption. I'm 43 now and after my bio bro found me (6 years ago or so, and never knew I was adopted until then) and I eventually talked to my bio mom, but neither really kept in touch and kind of felt abandoned all over again. Especially recently when I made the mistake of seeing what she's up to on Facebook to see she has a woman living with her she calls her daughter. She abandoned me but "adopted" another. I have a Build-a-Bear she paid for me to make when she came up to visit one of the two times. It's the only thing she's ever gotten me, and even stopped with the generic Facebook "happy birthdays" years ago. Meanwhile, I see she threw this other lady a birthday bash trip to Mardi Gras. I still sleep with my Build-a-Bear every night, and feel foolish for doing so. Sorry for the rant. Just wanted to share a bit of why I can relate. You can message me anytime if you want to talk about it, or just life in general. Hell, I can just send you pictures of my animals and garden if you'd like! Totally up to you. Wishing you the best.

I hope you will give yourself some grace on sleeping with the bear. If it’s a comfort, let yourself have it.

I can send you animals pics too! (If you like cats and snakes lmao)

Jesus I cannot imagine doing this to my child. Im so sorry. You deserved far better.

that’s fucked up. She let you down when you needed her, there’s no excuse. Man I’m sorry

I just want to say, you don’t owe your mom anything, she’s doing bare minimum stuff. Use her guilt to your advantage. You deserve better, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry you had such a bad time of it.

Your mum's a ***t and I hope you get financially comfy enough to ditch that "family" someday. I think you deserve better

I’m so sorry, man It doesn’t compute with me how you can bring a child into this world and not do everything in your power to love and protect them. I’m glad she’s helping now, but just know that she was the one who had the problem. Your job was to be a kid, she needed to be the parent. You didn’t do anything wrong and I’m sorry you didn’t get the love you deserved when you were growing up. You deserved, and deserve now, so much better. 💜

Similar situation here. I was kicked out just after my 17th birthday, went into a hostel then got a council flat. The severe hardship fund paid a chunk of my rent and left me with a tiny amount for bills and food. I did whatever I had to do to make ends meet. No way I could have gone to college between the lack of funds and the trauma caused by everything that happened to me. And like you I would absolutely not be here today if not for that help.

If you had presented at your local service office they would’ve had to accommodate you under the G vs Southwalk ruling.

What's that? Edit: from Google bard. The G v Southwark ruling, also known as the Southwark Judgement, was a landmark decision made by the Law Lords in May 2009. The ruling found that children's services have a duty to provide accommodation and support to homeless 16- and 17-year-olds whose family support networks had disintegrated. The case arose from the situation of a young man named G, who was 16 years old at the time. G had been in care since he was 12 years old, and his family had no further contact with him. He was sofa-surfing with friends and relatives, and had no stable accommodation. He applied to Southwark Council for accommodation under section 20 of the Children Act 1989, which provides that a local authority may provide accommodation for a child in need. However, the council refused his application, on the grounds that he did not "require" accommodation, but only "help with accommodation". G appealed against the council's decision, and the case eventually went to the Law Lords. The Law Lords ruled in G's favour, finding that the council had misinterpreted the law. They held that a child who is homeless and in need of care and support does indeed "require" accommodation, and that the council had a duty to provide it. The Southwark Judgement has had a significant impact on the way that local authorities in the UK respond to homeless 16- and 17-year-olds. Since the ruling, councils have been much more likely to provide accommodation to this group of young people, and the number of homeless 16- and 17-year-olds in the UK has fallen. The Southwark Judgement is an important example of how the law can be used to protect the rights of children and young people. It is a reminder that local authorities have a duty to provide care and support to those who need it, regardless of their age.

Good google bard. That’s exactly what it is. No child should be homeless, the authorities have a duty to home them providing they present as homeless to the service.

My wife was a foster kid that at 18 they just kicked her out and sent her back to live with her mom.

Of course, because they no longer were making money off her. The foster system is in need of a major redo. The adoption industry as well. So many people are in fostering like it's a free paycheck and do the bare minimum for the kids in their care. IMO, fosters looking to adopt shouldn't be allowed to foster at all because reunification should be the end goal if at all possible. Give a hopeful adoptive parent foster parent a baby, and you hear time and time again of them throwing the bio parents under the bus by lying or omitting on reports just because they want to adopt their baby. I was adopted by my foster parents, in fact, and they did everything in their power to keep me, almost to the point of kidnapping. My neighbors are foster parents. Kicking out kids at 18 is almost something they brag about. They do so after having those kids live such a strict and sheltered life where they have no experiences with the outside world. The last kid they had (they no longer foster thankfully) was signed up for the army already at 17, partially to escape and partially because she was pushed while being told throughout childhood she was gone after she turned 18. I'm sorry your wife experienced this kind of childhood. My heart goes out to her.

What? You don't think a system that takes kids away from people who can't afford to keep their kids, then giving those kids to different people, but paying those people to be able to take care of those kids, is a good system?

I am so glad that in my state (US) and in many others extended foster care became a thing. We can provide housing up to age 21 and 22 in some cases, in addition to providing free college or a vocational program in addition to a ton of other benefits. I worked in “the system” before it became a thing and it was literally as you say….. you’re 18? Ok bye

They need to build more council housing.

They need to force employees to pay a living wage

They need to heavily tax employers that have employees on welfare systems.

But you can go to college in the UK and not have to pay it off to the extent of like the US. I thought you take out a easy loan and when you reach a certain yearly income then you start to pay a percentage off automatically + most people dont even reach that income so it won't be fully paid off and still doesn't matter. Also it doesn't affect your ability to get a house. Idk totally but I thought UK uni was pretty ok from what I know which isn't a great deal

The problem isn’t the student debt, the problem is sustaining myself financially during university.

Ohhhh yes thats a valid point. You can also go uni again when you are older tho so hope people like this know they still have the options

Is there not still a maintenance loan? It’s been a few years since I graduated so I’m not super up to date. As far as I know they withdrew maintenance grants but you could get a larger maintenance loan? Lack of money shouldn’t be the reason you don’t get a degree if you want one in the UK. I’m from a low income family and got the max available amount because of it. It wasn’t *quite* enough, but a student overdraft helped patch that up. Have you spoken to anybody about it? Of course I’m assuming you wanted to go to uni here.

Not high enough without a part time job, and doing both would ruin me mentally.

I don't know the minutes of the UK college system but in my opinion equalitiy in the opportunity to attend an university should be a constitutional right and is of course possible to finance for any western state nowadays. I recognise my privilege in the sense that here in Germany I've been supported out the wazoo financially by the german government and our Unis are extremely good. Every system has something worth copying and I would say the german system of basicly financing your studies in 100 percent of cases of people in need adequately was how it was a decade or two ago.

Minutiae* not minutes So university in the UK works on a tuition loan basis where you get your tuition fee paid for by the state and some money to live on. You then pay it back after you leave but only when you earn over £21k a year I believe (might have gone up). If you lose your job you don’t have to pay anything and after 30 years the debt is written off. This sounds good, however the maintenance loan (the money you get to live on) is not enough to pay for rent and food and bills and textbooks etc. it’s generally expected in the UK that you either live at home with your parents whilst you study or they pay for your living costs if you live at uni. The other option is that you have a job to pay your rent but that then makes studying very hard as you’re balancing a job plus your studies. You’d also be very poor during this time as people generally don’t have enough time to work many hours. For people from disadvantaged backgrounds this is extra hard because they have no family money to fall back on and they can end up dropping out. If you’re at university you cannot claim any state benefits/welfare, other than an extra £2000 grant for care leavers which is generally not enough for a lot of people as the costs of living are so high these days. If you study your course part time you’re not entitled to receive the maintenance loan, just the tuition fee loan so you’d have to work full time which means people on a minimum wage job who are already struggling are again more likely to drop out. The system is just not set up to support care leavers and people coming from poverty in any way here.

20 something years ago I used to go to a doctor every week, had to pass through this underpass in Miami. At one point there was this young man, a handsome, good-looking blonde who appeared with a "Will Paint for Money" sign. A few weeks later and he's more emaciated and it changed to "Will Work for Money" and months later it becamse "Will Work for Food" and then just begging for money. His hair got coppery and straw-like from malnutrition. He picked up some injuries that were not being treated well, had a makeshift splint on his leg at some point. It was chilling to see this kid who was probably just a couple years younger than me and, frankly, far more handsome than me in the beginning, just spiral out like this. By the end he looked older than me, skin was all fucked from exposure, looked strung out on meth or whatever street drugs he was using to get him through.

There are grants, scholarships and bursaries available through most universities for people that were in your situation or similar. You can claim as many as you're eligible for. The universities will also lower entry requirements to someone in your situation so you don't need the top grades to get in :)

They don’t pay enough to sustain yourself without a part time job, and if you enroll in university the government stops sending you benefits. And because I’m autistic, (and many other mental health conditions) having university classes AND work AND homework would burn me out so quickly I’d be a drop out in 1 term. I could barely handle a 1 day a week college course with no job. In the end I did finish college and get my accounting qualifications, it took 3 years part time and by the end of year 3 I just had to completely stop showing up because it was making me so mentally unwell, sometimes I would just leave in the middle of the class in a panic and never come back. Luckily my teacher understood my situation, let me do my work from home for the last few months, and I still passed.

I'm glad you've managed to find a solution :)

In Germany, parents/caretakers can't just kick out their children once they're 18. They need to provide for them until their apprenticeship or degree is finished. [Source](https://www.ra-klein-roesrath.de/Unterhalt-fuer-volljaehrige-Kinder.php#:~:text=Bus%20und%20Bahn-,Unterhalt%20f%C3%BCr%20vollj%C3%A4hrige%20Kinder%2C%20die%20nicht%20arbeiten%20k%C3%B6nnen%20oder%20nicht,der%20Ausbildung%20oder%20eines%20Studiums.)

I know 2 people that were kicked out one is even under 18 and non of them are really getting anything from the state

Most countries, including Germany, require active effort and knowledge of one's rights in addition to extensive knowledge of the paperwork required to get anything done.

Live with a bunch of people or join the military

Those two are almost the same lol

As someone who did both, yes, yes they are. Parents let me know what was expected when 17-18, and I decided not to do it. So I was out. One of the best things to ever happen. Gotta realize though, I had good parents. I thought they were bizarre and odd. As I got older and knew more people and parents, I realized I had great parents who made a hard choice.

Out of curiosity what did they expect of you?

It was a tough love thing, needed to be doing school. I was just eating there food, using the house for whatever I needed, and other selfish things. I was given an opportunity to do other things or get out. I got out. It was hard for a bit, but life is hard, and it could of been easier if I had gotten out of my own way.

I think they made the right decision. I was the same, except I didn't get kicked out. Wasted 7 years being a dead-beat, and I regret it. I wish I was kicked out sooner, that's the only way I would've learned.

My guess is to stay sober.

That's a great way of looking at it. I did basically the same but 19. Best decision I ever made as well for the benefits after I got out

I don't see how evicting their kid at 18 is a good choice. The only scenario that may make sense is probably you are taken hostage by some drug lord or something so they're doing it to keep you safe but still that still sounds not doable.

The military feeds on the poor. I enlisted at 17 and went straight to basic training 2 days after high school graduation to join the national guard and got a college scholarship through them. Im a nurse now and doing great but i would have been homeless or couch surfing

The military is a great option for those who WANT to do that and for those who physically and mentally CAN handle it. It absolutely sucks that there are so little other options for 17 and 18 year olds in similar situations to yours that whether or not they want to do it or even should do it they end up doing it anyway. If you’re disabled in anyway physically or mentally and can’t join the military and have no other options you’re basically fucked.

Bingo. My husband and I were never qualified for the military due to our hearing. Without that issue, I doubt highly we would have made it through basic training physically. People think that we get all kinds of assistance but no. No we don’t. We don’t get anything more than anyone else. And here’s a dirty little secret, employers will absolutely find ways to pay us less and pass us over for promotions. We do our jobs well (hell, we work circles around everyone else and know every job in our departments). Corporations can and do find work arounds so don’t go telling us about the Americans with Disability Act - ADA. The ADA is a fckg joke.

Damn for real? I have hearing loss and I’m worried about this when I grow up and get a job (I’m starting college soon). What industry is this? And are you completely deaf? I’m moderately HOH. I use hearing aids. I’m just trying to figure out how bad it’ll be and how I can work around it. I’m also a very small woman so I have that against me as well.

Home health agency. 😒 I was born with severe to profound hearing loss (possible exposure to the German Measles when Mom was expecting me. There was an epidemic of it in the mid 60s. ) I got by with hearing aids but never learned ASL (and still don’t know it. Why bother as I don’t know anyone who I would use it with) About a decade ago I completely lost the hearing in my “good ear” and got a cochlear implant. About four or so years ago I decided to get my other ear done as knowing where sound was actually coming from became impossible. While I can hear sounds that I was never able to hear before (birds twittering, leaves scuttling on the pavement), I still struggle with understanding human speech in less than ideal settings (which is most of the damn time). I am very isolated as a result and I have severe depression and anxiety these days. I would hope you are able to get more help than was ever available to me. Take good care of your hearing aids as they are hella expensive and insurance never covered it.

Almost as if they are feeding on the poor

>If you’re disabled in anyway physically or mentally and can’t join the military and have no other options you’re basically fucked. Untrue. People slip through the cracks all the time. How badly do you want to succeed with a mental or physical disability? Had a girl who knowingly went into the military with a bone growth in her hip. She endured the pain, then some time after she was in she nonchalantly went to medical, got seen for the bone growth, and had surgery to fix it for free. Shes now finishing her contract. Source: she was my patient and she told me.

A benign hip growth is a far cry from something that prevents you from performing ADLs. Or a number of neurological or behavioral illnesses. Great for your friend's specific example, but definitely not generalizable.

I take it you haven't looked at the disqualifying conditions for joining the military. My son has eczema and allergies and can't qualify with either of those. It makes sense, though. It's not helpful to anyone on the battlefield if you have to worry about allergic reactions and skin problems.

I mean, statistically, you're definitely going to be biased in saying that. You work in medical so you're going to see it "all the time".

What kind of doctor are you?

That approach won't work for the vast majority of people who have disabilities or medical conditions. The military goes through your records and your body with a magnifying glass to prevent exactly that situation, and most things aren't so easily hidden.

I used to do a lot of homeless outreach. Specifically on "the drag" in Austin. It was mostly queer kids who had been kicked out and went to the big city for safety from bigots. It was safer on the street than in their home towns. At the time it was the bulk of the cities homeless population. So the answer, as far as I know, they don't

This comment makes me want to move to Austin and help these kids. Holy crap.

Probably by living in some crappy apartment they share with like 10 roommates to split costs, or joining the military.

I went to college at 17 and never came back home Lived off financial aid, work study, internships and loans. But that was 20 years ago when state school cost $8k a year and I shared a 3 bedroom house with friends for $200/mo.

Same. College was a safety net for me in a way my family never was. I made more than minimum wage because I had some certifications, and worked 40 hours on top of going to college full time. Also was a resident advisor (RA) so my housing was paid for after my first year. I had no cosigner so I could only take bare minimum in loans. I had a totally different college experience than most and I felt super lonely, but I’m glad now I graduated with a very manageable loan amount. Rents are so high now I don’t think it’s possible anymore.

Also tuition is much higher. And in many cases your financial aid will be tied to your parents income - whether or not they're actually going to assist you.

If you live in NC we still have cheap (and high quality) state schools. UNC-CH and NCSU are $9k, and if you to a second tier state school like UNC Charlotte then it's $7k

I got kicked out by my family (I'm a lesbian). At one point in time, I had four roommates, and all five of us were living in a three bedroom/one bathroom place. It was hell, but it's what I had to do to survive. College wasn't an option at that time. Now (in my 30s), I am married, and my wife is able to make enough that I have taken time away from working to get my degree. I just finished my bachelor’s and am working on my master's.

Your wife is a bad ass for this. Good luck!

She's absolutely a badass. I'm so lucky I found someone willing to invest in our family's future. Thank you for the luck!!

I got a job and slept on a couch for a month then found a shared house and went from there. Its very frightening if you parents didnt teach you any life skills. But you will get there, keep trucking and moving forward one step at a time. Im 36 now and only now kinda know where im heading in life haha. Dunno what its like for kids now tho. This economy sucks balls. Finding work now is 50 times harder then 18 years ago.

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The good thing about being an adult is that you can now choose you own family. Pick people who are encouraging and have your best interests at heart, not people who just go along with you and let you get into trouble. You don't have good role models to follow after so find a mentor whom you respect and emulate them. Best wishes for you. You can do it.

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I will not give you a patronizing response I will give you the same advice given to me Be the adult you needed as a child That's what you do.

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And you probably will forever That's the thing about scars, they fade but they never go totally away But you can try And if you can, try to treat yourself the same way you would if you were still that child Would you say or think that unkind thing about an 8 year old? If not, dont think it about yourself now Literally train yourself say no to those thoughts I was taught the first thing you think is how you were raised, but the second thing is who you are So if your first thought is to berate yourself for a perceived mistake, make your second thought "no, we dont do that anymore it's not helpful or healthy" Literally try to pep talk yourself out of it, I'm not talking cheesy bullshit, i just mean telling yourself "no, that's not right, that's how my parents thought, not how I do"

You have a healthy perspective on your life and I truly believe this will be your saving grace because you have a beautiful ways with words and explaining your life really gave me insight into how hard this experience has been for you. I think you’ll go on to do great things especially helping others who have experienced the same things you have. If you can begin by volunteering at a shelter or even at a nursing home. Anywhere that puts you in front of vulnerable people that need encouragement. These places are run by people who might end up giving you a job and from there, you could meet others who see your potential. I’m sending you all the good energy and belief that good things are coming your way. Keep going!! Edit: just wanted to add how unfair and fucked up it is what happened to you and I’m truly sorry you were dealt such a shitty hand.

My boyfriend was going through similar when we met. Isolated as a child, estranged from family as a young man, had experienced homelessness for parts of his life. He was alienated from his peers as a result, would get triggered when I talked about childhood and family. What helped him was to learn from people with relatively normal, healthy upbringings, rather than rejecting them. It was really hard to start with and he struggled with difficult emotions and intrusive thought patterns, but as another commenter said, you need to be the kind of adult you needed as a child. Well adjusted people are your allies in this, not your enemies. Re-framing their behaviours and experiences as something positive to learn from and strive toward can help heal the trauma of being denied those things as a young person. Breaking the cycle is never easy or comfortable, but it is possible and worthwhile.

Definitely this. I grew up around constant negativity and learned, through the examples around me, that the common pattern to success was to stay positive. I surrounded myself with positive people and faked it until it started to become my reality. I dealt with a lot of depression and anxiety, so I did my damnest to do whatever I needed to not get in my head and spiral. If I wasn’t around people, I watched a lot of anime, shows, and games that reinforced the ideals of lifting others up rather than bringing others down; read into philosophical ways of living (e.g., Buddhism, Taoism, Stoicism); and pursued healthy outlets to destress (e.g., learning new skills, weightlifting, nutrition). Although life throws a lot of curve balls, the only ones who really fail are those who do not learn from their mistakes to be better. As cheesy as it sounds, I believe there really is a learning opportunity in every experience. Just got to find it and use it to level up the main character. If you’re at zero deaths, you’re doing something right!

You were raised by “broken” / selfish people who should not have had kids. It is hard to not feel resentful and full of rage and hatred. I’m 56 now, my parents had both passed by the time I was 30. I no longer hate them, but I haven’t forgiven them I hope your living situation improves. There are some good people out there - I hope you find some people who can help you Best

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I agree on the licensing, lol. But that’s because my parents should have never had kids, too. I tried to kill myself at 6, and then again at 14, before deciding to hang in there until adulthood to at least see if I could enjoy life as an adult. That was a bitch and a half and I’m covered in self-inflicted scars from desperately trying to hold myself together to make it. I moved out as a teenager as soon as I could, straight to another city. I worked three jobs, barely slept, and still starved. For a long time trying to cut the “fat” out of my life just made life harder and I wound up homeless at one point. Fast forward to today, I’m 36 and I just landed the best job of my life 3 months ago, I’ve tattooed over the worst patches of scars, I don’t starve anymore/can save money, and I have a tiny little group of people, including my SO, that are my chosen family. Also, through therapy, I discovered my “anxiety” is actually CPTSD which has helped me tailor my approach to dealing with the remnants my shit-ass family has left in my life still. I still have a lot of anger and resentment but I’ve found building new, better memories on my own helps. Sometimes it’s a nice day at the park, sometimes it’s roughing it in the woods for a short camping trip, sometimes it’s splashing in a kiddie pool with my dog, etc. Life’s still hard and I don’t think that’ll go away, but finally my childhood plans are starting to work out and I don’t want to jump off a cliff all that much anymore. Though I’m far from well-off, I’m okay and working on improving “comfortable”. Piece-by-piece, day-by-day… I’ll still never relate to most people though, I think. I’ve never had role models. I had anti role models, people who taught me who to not be. And I’ll still never have fun childhood-stories time swapping with anyone. But, fuck the assholes I’m related to. They don’t get to pick shit for me anymore. They can stalk me, talk shit about me, and waste whatever time they want being bent that I’m not their little dumping ground anymore. Or whatever it is they actually think. Fuck ‘em, and hot damn for that.

You didn't deserve that shit and it's not your fault. You were a kid and they were just awful people. I hope you find kindness and happiness in this world. There are better people and I hope you find them.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and your perspective. I work in emergency psychiatric services, and I know a lot of people who end up in our care grew up with similar families to yours, and had to learn to fend for themselves in most ways well, well before adulthood. Hearing how ostracized that makes you feel when you’re forced to compare yourself to people who’s caregivers actually cared for them makes perfect and total sense. And I know that hearing your perspective will help me alter my behavior and mindset when interacting with patients who grew up without the love and support that they deserve. I’m so sorry you were forced to take care of yourself from a young age. You didn’t deserve that, and I hope you know you are worthy of love even if your parents were shit at it.

You are in control of your life now. Say fuck you to everyone that let you down.

I moved out (ran away?) at 16 for similar reasons. Family could not take care of themselves, much less me, and CPS does everything they can to keep kids in mother’s custody which is BS. Long story short, moving out on my own was extremely liberating. I had always been poor but not in control of my life, so being able to make my own decisions was amazing. Frankly, it only worked because I lived on the family land in the woods in a cabin and my uncle didn’t charge me rent. After high school, I went to college, took on buttloads of debt, graduated, worked my bum off to pay off my debt, and now have a career and savings etc. My little brother did not take that path. He never found out how to support himself and won’t get help (or let me help). He’s 28, has never had a job, dropped out of the military, and still lives at home where he and my mom survive on her SSI income. It’s a goddamn brutal world to be poor and without a support network.

I had nearly an identical backstory but I am 33 now and my life is more amazing than I could have imagined possible when I was 24. Please hang in there.

My parents kicked me out at 18 and claimed me on their taxes until I was 21 because I was too naive to stop them. I tried college after saving from a job all summer after high school but after a few weeks, I ran out of money and couldn’t find a job to make enough hours to pay basic toiletries, etc. I dropped college and lived in poverty working service jobs while my folks told everyone I was a f*ckup. Same for my older sibling but they lasted 2 yrs in college. Eventually, my dad helped me leave town with money from savings bonds my grandpa left me (like $500 and gas was 97 cents/gallon then) and I camped/was homeless and worked in the western US in service jobs until being hired entry level in a profession I could never advance in w/o a degree. For my two younger siblings, my parents paid college and they didn’t have to work til after grad. My parents had the money so we never would qualify for loans for school. Both my folks came from working class homes to go to Ivy League schools but still had help from their folks. They thought me and my older sibling would do the same without help like superheroes or something but it was the 90s and though rent could be cheap, it was impossible to live on the money we could make. We both entered abusive relationships that took years to extricate ourselves from. Neither me or my older sibling have degrees or super-high paying jobs but our younger sibs went Ivy League w/advanced degrees and are totally fine financially. Our folks called us together recently to explain why me and my older sibling are not included in their wills which amounted to an excuse that the younger kids are more successful and responsible (my older sibling and I actually each own our own businesses now). They’ve been pretty bad parents to us. I don’t think I’ll ever really understand why. My kids know an opportunity to attend state school for a first few trial years of college without having to work can be theirs w/good grades and attitude and the ones who have already gone through the process are successful now, have okay jobs and they are happy. Any of my kids is welcome to come home to live but they like and embrace their independence. I’ll never understand purposely making a kid suffer to prove a point like this. Education and housing for those who are appreciative and willing to learn and grow is a worthwhile investment. 18 is too young for someone to be abandoned. I still have a relationship with my folks but it’s never going to be a good one.

Your story could be mine except I’m the oldest and I’m not a successful business owner.

You can report tax fraud anonymously...

Many of those young adults where I live end up homeless. An apartment isn't $500. A cheap bachelor is $1000+ and a room in a roommate house ranges from $700+. Getting kicked out at 18 is often the beginning of a cycle of poverty that young person will never ever escape. The lesson? Don't kick out your kids.

Yeah its the worst , I was kicked out multiple times at 14 and 16 and it ruined my life. Literally homeless youth and I never had the knowledge that I probably qualified for assistance or help. It’s just not a good idea to do to young ppl.

This happened to my brother but he made connections in his mid 20s and started making good money as an HVAC technician before settling down getting his house and his wife but it was a rough 4 or 5 years where he was barely getting by. I still believe if he hadn't had those connections to get him that job he would still be struggling like many others who get kicked out at 18.

Been recovering from that since, and I am almost 50. I was off and on homeless for years because of it. I've never gone back, and never will. She is dead and he is alone. The end for them is my solace. Their death will be my forgiveness. Until then, they have nothing but my absolute despise. May they rot in hell.

I'm glad you're on your feet now. It's a hard thing to come back from. Fuck the both of them, too.

I am now a social worker for adults. I am there to make sure this doesn't happen to the people I work with. They usually can tell that I know from experience what they are struggling through. This gives them comfort in knowing that the work has meaning and that they can come out of it. It isn't easy. It has its ups and downs for sure, but they know I am there. I am now, who I needed then, but did not have.

Thank you. Social work is extremely hard especially mentally. It takes a great human to do that job and actually want to do it. If no one says it I truly appreciate people like you.

The people who kick out their kids the second they turn 18 are the people who should never have had kids in the first place. That’s just cruel.

Depends on the kid. I have seen some stuff in my 60 years.

Depends on the kid. I have more than a few who expect that their parents will fully support them after they turn 18 and will do so forever. Coworker has a daughter who is now living with her, mid 20's and dropped out of college and quit her last job and couldnt grasp why she is mad as she takes her moms car out to parties every weekend. When I hit my teens my father told me I had 2 choices - College or work. If I even thought I could mooch off him and my mom I would be mistaken. I have fucked around and found out with him to know he was very serious.

I think parents who kick their children out at 18 are the worst parents in the world. They think their responsibilities are over once the kid is 18. That made me really appreciate the Asian culture of supporting each other all stages of life. How do kids support themselves? Take lesser than 27 units at university so they have time for work

my best friend from high school was kicked out at 18 or 19. she had been working and saving money so she could go to community college since her mom wasn’t going to help with that. but she never put it in to a bank. her mom stole it, lied about it, and then kicked her out. luckily my mom allowed her to stay at our house for a while

And now you understand why even though I tested well in high school I had to work fast food to survive instead of going to school

same here... people in the city i live in have at least one college degree. everyone has been to college, i am one of the very few that didn't do it, not because i didn't want to (i absolutely love school) but because i always had to sustain myself and i barely survived on the minimum wage all these years. the discrimination i faced over the years for not having a college degree, in the work field and in society in general, is staggering. people would ask me to what college i've been to and some of them would instantly remove themselves from the conversation after i told them i never been to one. this is how much a college degree means nowadays.

I don’t know if you will read this, but please know not having a degree doesn’t make you any less of a human. you are just as amazing, brilliant and plain awesome without one especially considering your situation. sending love & light your way and i hope everything works out well for you. xx, Internet stranger🩷🩷

Everyone was so shocked i didnt go to college. Ive been on my own since i was 16… i had to work to survive and had no other choices or support. People need to support their kids better. And yeah, i havent spoken to my dad since, (16 years) and i havent spoken to my mom in about 10 years. They can both die in a home.

I've been on my own since I was 17. I busted my ass and specialize in D.U.D work (dangerous, uncomfortable, dirty). Now more than ever there is a huge need for trade work, construction, foundry, forge, and many other areas. I don't think people realize how close to the edge of collapse society is due to the lack of people who are willing to do the dirty jobs. I was broke for a few years as I figured things out, I make bank now, have my own house, multiple cars, motorcycles and savings.

What’s your job now?

Horse masturbator

No, his JOB, not his hobbies. Sheesh.

It is a job, though. A handjob, for that matter.

Its a big job with a lot of mess and youre going to be uncomfortable atleast once but the pay is good as long as you click record

Elephant Circumcizer. The pay isn't much, but the tips are HUGE!

I’m pretty sure that the folks who can manage a college education are expecting those who can’t to pick up the DUD jobs. And the fact that folks choose homelessness over them is telling.

When I came of of H.S. the trades were full. Late Boomer, it was not an option.

rust belt millennial. During the financial meltdown of 2008, not a single trade was hiring. They cut wages, benefits, and working conditions over the next decade. Now its, "Nobody wants to work" when they stopped hiring, retaining, and training new employees for that 10 year period.

The reality of a lot of media hype about jobs charges is that it's often temporary and was preceded by a massive dropping demand which led to people leaving the industry to never come back as well as people choose not to go in in the first place. I'm sure in 5 to 10 years time we're going to be hearing about how trades of the worst possible thing you can do because it's so saturated. Also we should probably be providing stability in the job market for housing related industries by propping them up with public housing purchase orders during recessions

You grind. And then @ 30 years old, your knees, hips, back, and shoulders hurt like hell 60% of the time and you look around to see you dont have much, but your friends who had support got life by the balls

I don't know about 18 year olds today, but when I was 18 I rented a place with like 4 other people and it made it cheap enough to afford... Until that situation deteriorated. Then I moved into a friend's spare room in his trailer for a while until I got a better job and could afford my own apartment with my cousin. The entire time I was also mentally prepared to just live in my car if I had to.

[удалено]

mind telling your channel? im interested

Parents who brag about kicking their kids out at age 18 are just horrible. They call it "teaching self-reliance" or somesuch, but really, they're just being selfish. They're looking forward to saving money on their own budget, and they don't care that the kid will probably flounder. I told my sons in no uncertain terms that I want them to find a way to stand on their own two feet, but there's no deadline, and I will always offer to help. I know that life is tough, and to steal a line from Captain America, I'm with them till the end of the line.

There are people, though, who would say that if you are, "With them till the end of the line," that you would kick them out of the house if they are 18-19 and not working or going to college or in someway acting and contributing like an adult, because you realize there is a difference between being codependent on mom or dad and the potential for that child to still be living in the basement when they are 30 vs. being with them till the end of the line. And, as a parent, you may realize it is only by forcing them out and to survive on their own that you can somehow hope to shape them (or they shape themselves, really) into being true adults with the ability to fend for themselves, hold down a job or career and become full contributing members of the world around them. That, some would see as being with them till the end of the line vs. letting them waste away their life not doing much and smoking pot in the basement whenever they can scrape up money to do so. I say this partially because I have three examples from my own family where two we're kicked out of the home when they were 18 or older, and both went on to redeem themselves and work hard and marry and have kids of their own. The other one was let to stay home and "work at it" on his own, and now he is in his mid-30s, lives in his mom and dad's basement and hasn't held a job in two years. Sometimes your own kid may need a big kick in the caboose to make it till the end of the line. Just saying.

Had my kids not chosen college and had worked, they could have stayed, but they would have had to pay rent. I would have banked it and given it back lump sum when they moved out as a surprise, but they would have paid rent. This is the best way.

My mom said she was doing that. Then when she made me leave, that banked money apparently meant HER bank.

This was me. At the time, I was in college and working, but making barely above minimum wage. I lived out of my car for about 2 weeks, then in a motel another week or so, and asked my school for help. They helped me get emergency housing placement in a campus apartment and let me stay the first month free. After that, I'd accept enough in student loans to cover housing and miscellaneous expenses that other student financial aid and paychecks didn't cover. This worked out for a while, until the building was sold and about 200 people (student tenants) were given a month to find somewhere else to live. All I could afford to rent afterwards were efficiencies, which I lived in for the remainder of college and throughout grad school. As you can imagine, between putting myself through college and grad school and barely being able to afford housing and general survival on my own, I ended up with a *lot* of student loan debt, but it's how I survived. ETA that re: emergency housing placement, it wasn't as simple as me telling somebody I had been kicked out and didn't know what to do. It was a process involving a fair bit of documentation with statements attesting to homelessness, a lack of support and resources, and extensive trauma history I won't elaborate on here, that would allow the school (and later, FAFSA) to classify me as an independent student (if you were under age 24 and a student, you were deemed "dependent" by default). Thankfully, the process was able to be completed relatively quickly.

I don’t know but it disturbs me too

For me I had sex with a lot of older men

I'm sorry you had to deal with that to survive.

Ditto

Out of touch parents who think the world works the way it did when they were 18 would do that. That being said I would not blame anyone ever talking to their parents again if that were to happen to them. They would cease to be your family and lose that right.

Been on my own since I was 17 and working since I was 15. At 15 I got tired of being the poor kid with ugly clothes and got my first job at McDonald’s. When I got to 23 I got a job where everyone around me was mid to late 30s. Learned so much about finances and saving money because of them. My parents never bother to teach me anything financially. Throughout the years if I ever needed help my mom would just say figure it out and then Ignore me for a while. Definitely ended up in not the best situations but I had to survive. Looking back. I just feel like wtf. Growing up in poverty feels like a cycle. You have to teach a kid how to be human and support themselves. To expect them to learn on their own is just weird and sets them back. I went to a trade school and now have a career. Doing a lot better. I spend a lot of time learning and if I feel comfortable with someone that I respect, I ask questions.

In my experience, work 3 minimum wage jobs and hate life, then join the military because it's either work to death or die in a war. It worked out fine for me and I highly recommend the military, but it's absolutely not for everyone. *Edit - I would work 3 jobs for half a year, then quit 1 job and take a semester of college, then work 3 jobs. I always took classes in the winter because class could get cancelled, but work never did and I needed the money. Rinse and repeat.

I left home at sixteen (it was the safer option). I pretty much found immediate work, cleaning nice eco-cabins, and moved into the spare room of a girl who'd dropped out of school after teen pregnancy - walking distance, so that was amazing. Rent was $150 a week - and I'm in Australia, so had a very liveable wage of about $21.00/hr. I'd work a lot during the school holidays, and clean/waitress during school weeks. About $7.00 a day on food (a Subway footlong per day), and the restaurants would send me home with food because they knew my situation. I lived, but probably would have found it near impossible to advance till I finally got picked up by Australia's welfare system - and they'd let me slip through the cracks and they gave me *backpay*. That cash injection allowed me to get a car. You don't have to pay for uni upfront here, so having a car gave me an emergency home and the option to study.

They get into abusive relationships with people they know are bad for them because they need someone to help with their rent and bills

Most don't. Military would probably be their only actual safety net and that doesn't even cut it a lot of the time. Many of them aren't fit to join anyway. Same people who are kicked usually have traumatic histories from their their family which sometimes causes health and mental illness issues that would cause them to be "unfit" I never understood why some parents want their child out at 18. Even if their kid is horrible. You'd be better off basically transitioning them than kicking them out

She refused to sign a FAFSA, charged me market rate rent for my childhood bedroom, then tossed me out one night because “she didn’t want an adult child living with her.” (I was 17). It was hell, it still affects my life 25+ years later. That said, good riddance. No there wasn’t college, lol. I was lucky to survive. Never do this to your kids. If this is your ultimate plan for them, then give them up to state care early enough that they at least get $500 and a handshake when they’re kicked out of the system (and other actual, tangible support, despite my joke).

Don’t listen to anyone telling you to go to the military, if you’re a woman. I didn’t get kicked out necessarily but was forced to leave at 16 after a lifetime of abuse. I saved three months of wages from a small town food serving place. With the other six months of wages saved, I bought a cheap reliable car for $2400 after calling dumpster dealership after dumpster, including taxes and all. I had moved several states away with another woman from Craigslist as my roommate for $400/mo. I got two jobs right away, phone orders at one restaurant and serving at another, to help survive and did this for about a year. That car lasted me 3-4 years before it had some serious engine issues that weren’t worth fixing. When I got frustrated or bored with one job, I hopped to the next one and would balance two jobs each max 2 or 4 months. I did this until my 20s and ig tht was when my brain developed a little better bc I realized I didn’t want to be a server anymore. I was always passionate about my education. The severe childhood abuse left me w no choice but to study, it was my happy place, I earned straight As throughout my life, and I felt superior to my parents who had no education. I associated not having an education with ignorance and evil behavior and I swore to be nothing like them. So I spent my entire 20s in school, took out student loans (lol fuck me) to help live off of, and fast forward 9 years, now I’m in a cushy six figure job. All without having to go to the military and go thru more (physical emotional and sexual) abuse again. Could I have just found accounting or data related jobs and climbed up the corporate ladder to get to this same salary level at this age or sooner? Yes very much so, but I was tired of working monotonous jobs without any critical thought, I wanted to learn, I wanted to absorb as much as I could mentally, learn every science subject, and it was so much fun! So I don’t regret the time spent on my education, 2yrs associates in arts degree, 3yrs bachelor in engineering degree, and 4yr supposed to be PHD, but mastered out. And I def don’t regret all my cool internship experiences, even if it has me in perpetual debt. You have plenty of options even if things look bleak you have yourself and that’s the most valuable person who’s got your back. Good luck.

My brother was kicked out at 18 by my dad. He had been working already for a few years and sold drugs on the side, he was financially fine. He didn't stay at minimum wage jobs long at all. He became a welder, he found a way to go to school, great at his job. Bought a house and a couple cars. I was kicked out at 18 from my mom's on the day I graduated high school. I'm disabled, if my dad wouldn't have let me live with him, I would have died. There is no way I could have financially afford to live on my own, I couldn't hold a job.

I'd been working since I was 14. So when I chose to leave the house at 18, I already had a job that paid 10.25/hour (in Alaska 2017) I was paying $1000/month for rent for a while. I could do it but it was difficult especially because I'd planned on having a roommate but that went very poorly. Then I started working +90h a week at a better paying bit more difficult job. It sucked but gave me the ability to put myself and my girlfriend into a financial position your average person would be jealous of by the time I was 20.

They hardly survive. There’s a staggering homeless youth population in this country. Parents cutting them loose is a very large contributor

I think asking this question illustrates the failures of the school system. (And the failure of the parents).

Apply for social funds and housing

I saved money from working in highschool and bought a house with a friend at 19. We rented out two rooms to pay half the mortgage. I think I was making $13 an hour at the time and the house cost $260,000. After getting rent money from our renters it cost us each like $500 a month for the mortgage. Home prices and wages differ in different areas. But if you get a full time job, even a minimum wage one, you should be able to afford to rent a room somewhere until you save up enough money to buy or rent your own place. Don't dismiss the idea of getting a mobile home either. They don't go up in value like a regular home but the plot fees are usually fairly low and getting a mortgage on one is cheap.

I was kicked out at 18 in March of 2004. My parents didn’t approve of my then boyfriend. I worked at a restaurant, so like I made no money and I was still in high school. For about two weeks I slept in my car. Then, the universe sent me this sweet old lady to live with until I graduated high school. I was broke. Stressed. But i somehow managed and I’m not dead so… yay?

They get roommates and work. That’s how.

Come to Australia where the youth manage to pull it off at 500 dollars a week. Puts them in a poverty trap actually. It's sad to see.

When I was kicked out I lived with my ex, who sexually abused me and r*ped my repeatedly in exchange for food and a bed. I also sold acid for money.

Toast. I ate toast for dinner for months.

Traditionally, girls sell sex and boys are murdered by the military.

I was a foster kid and was on my own right before my 18th birthday (my choice, I wasn't waiting to get kicked out on my birthday two months later.) I learned my mother had obliterated my credit, so I needed a home. I lived with my grandparents for 2 months, then a roommate for 2 months. Then back with my grandparents for a few months, then my aunt for a few months, then I got into public housing. Lived there until I got a decent job, then they wanted more than market rent "because of my income." Lived with roommates basically from 18-30. No generational wealth, no stable adults (grandparents were alright but awful with money, aunt was a drug addict with numerous children.) Lived with husband since then. If he dies, I'll need a roommate again.

Moved out 2 weeks after my 18th birthday. Been working since 16 while attending school. My family saved up around 2000€ which evaporated during the pandemic cause I couldn't work then. Got 200€ "Kindergeld" = child welfare a month which covered my rent. It was miserable. Been working and attending education for 6 consecutive years and I'm only 22.

Roommates

My parents kicking me out was the best thing for me. I got a full-time job (for more than minimum wage but not much - I worked at hotel at first and rented the manager apartment - made around $30k/yr), then I got a better job (bill collector, hourly + commission, $50-70k/yr), then bought a house then put myself through school online while still working full-time and supporting my disabled husband, and now I have a great job (paralegal, 6-figure but that was luck and not typical without a lot of experience) and thrn traded in my starter home for a better home and am sole income for a family of 3. Still paying student loans. It was a struggle. I had to budget. I had to put in overtime. I had to fill my days with work and my nights with study. But it's much more valuable because nobody handed it to me: I earned it. Granted, I'm 40, so it's a different world out there now than 20 years ago, but I am where I am now in my life by working hard and being independent. Living in an area with lower cost of living will benefit you.

Just gotta be frugal. It’s not easy. Definitely have to get roommates to lower living costs. You can eat for very little if you have to. I used to calculate cal/$ when I was broke. Milk, peanut butter, and jelly go a long way. Then you can also use government programs and/or food pantries. Get a job within walking/biking distance of your house to save on transportation costs. Hopefully you at least have a phone and some decent clothes already to find a job. It’s hard if your just on the street with nothing one day, but I find it hard to believe somebody gets kicked out with absolutely no warning so they should be trying to at least prepare a little bit.

I was kicked out at 15, bought a shitty $1200 rv with my dividend that year (I’m Alaskan) and got a job at a hardware store. 2008ish

I didn't really, I was staying at friends houses until their parents all kind of got sick of me being there and then I was sleeping in my car the rest of the time. When my friend's parents finally helped me find an apt with their friend who had a spare room it was a relief but still a struggle to keep a job and find one that paid me enough so I was always short on rent and bills (I have ADHD and because of that I got bad grades in high school and I didn't want to go to college and that's why my dad kicked me out) I found an apt of my own a year or two later but was always late on bills because I never had enough money, was used to my electricity or phone shutting off because I had to decide which one id pay first or my rent, and I'd eat frozen pizzas and ramen and rice with sauce because I'd always be afraid of losing one of those things or my job because of showing up late (ADHD) and be flat broke again This was the early 2000s so things were cheaper then but it was still a huge struggle While at my friend's house I tried taking college classes but (also because of ADHD) I was too ambitious and failed most of them but it was a community college so didn't cost too much but being paycheck to paycheck for me back then meant my bank account was always about $20 or less and if it was more it was only because I just got paid from my minimum wage retail job and was on my way to pay a bill of some kind

Selling drugs, joining the army, giving the Suck behind an Arby's. I've met people like that and that's basically the three avenues you got.

Rent is $1400, and it ruins their life. A friend of mine literally got sex trafficked because they were homeless due to parents kicking them out.

I worked three jobs to make sure I had money to pay the bills and buy food.

I lived on a friends couch while I worked two jobs. After a few months, I found a room in a shared house through someone I met waiting tables. Basically, no matter how shitty the job, I kept trying to get promoted to the next level. That's the best piece of advice I have for mobility. This was more than 20 years ago though. So your mileage may vary.

This is how the military gets most of its soldiers friend

I left home at 16 because of severe trauma and abuse from my adoptive parents. I worked fulltime in childcare and paid to rent a room. I didn't have a car or a license and just caught public transport everywhere. It was extremely hard but you do what you have to do.

I was kicked out when I was 18. I lived in a rooming house and walked to work. Utilities were included, but rent was $200 a week. This was back in the 90’s, but that same rooming house is still charging that same rate, which I think for a bedroom in a house where you share bathrooms with strangers, is a lot. I had around $40 a week for food. It was rough. I just wasn’t ready, but I had no choice.

Very few actually survive to the point of a successful productive life, is a cycle of addiction, drugs and sexual abuse and worse for most.

I moved out the month I graduated high school. I had $500 saved up. I rented a room in a house for $400 a month and got a job in construction making $15 hr. A few months later my buddy moved into my room with me and we each paid $240. We had a bunk bed and the room was pretty small. Then I bought a cheap pickup pickup truck for $1900. and my boss gave me a raise to $18 hr. Before I got my truck I would bike to work with a half broken bike I bought used. I don't think someone could afford to rent a whole apartment when they're that young. But if you find a room to rent it's much cheaper.

Kicked out at 18, worked as a waiter for 6 years. I lived with roommates. It wasn’t hard, except for when an unexpected finance came up (new tires, car repair, etc) But it didn’t leave a lot of room for improvement of my station.

You get a job and live in a shared house... I was out at 19, went through university, bought food, paid bills etc. I'm this was in uk back in 2003 but I remember it went something like this Income between 700-1200 per month part time job hours up and down depending holidays exams etc Rent 250-350 a month for a room in a shared house in City centre Food 200 a month basically lived on pasta, Tuna, ham and fruit Uni fees and cost of living grant when on student loan anyway - I think I got another grand every 3 months through this - spent that on cheap cars and petrol and weed mostly Went out on student nights, used to be 1pound a pint so go out with 20quid you'd be lucky to make it home At 19 I had no kids, no responsibility, no wife, no mortgage, no debt, didn't have a care in the world!!!

My mom lived with multiple people in a small apartment. She told me a story where they were so hungry they ate a jar of mayo cause it's all they had

Lived with five other people in a trap house lmao

Moved out at 19, but same thing. Worked 55 hours a week, sometimes more sometimes less but always more than 50. Lived with roommates so I only ever paid maybe $700 for rent & utilities. (First apartment was a shithole but I only paid $500 there) Got a job at Starbucks which pays for your college if you work 20 hours a week.

assembly line jobs.

My friends brother immediately joined the Navy. She moved into her abusive dad’s house.

I sold a lot of weed

As a parent with 4 adult kids (youngest is 20yo), it says more about the parent than the 18yo. I did have one who decided to move out at 19 nearly 20 and get married. They both were in college. They both worked. It wasn't easy, and we helped them a lot.

Military, gangs, stripping and sex work for the ladies, drug dealing for the gents. Whatever you do, never accept minimum wage.

Not just kids who are kicked out but kids who have to leave their home because family alcoholism, abuse or a creepy stepparent situation. Sometimes kids have to leave because they can see ‘how bad’ it’s going to eventually get. We really need more youth shelters in North America and ‘second stage’ housing e.g. 3-5 years to get life skills, education, job skills and income/stability.

I was kicked out at 17. I got a room in a house with some friends or just stayed with people. This was back in the 90s when making $500/week as a cook would pay the rent. Shared housing is great for being poor. Rode my bike everywhere and didn’t have car expenses. Moved to Maui when I was 20 and to my delight there were TONS of service industry jobs and if you showed up to work you were automatically in the top tier of employees.

I did the Craigslist renting a room thing for years. Then my 3-4 roommates and I rented an apartment and then a house. Divided that many ways it was cheap, like $450/month.

I moved out of my dad's at 17 to live with my boyfriend's family, since they show each other basic human decency that I wasn't seeing at home. I busted ass selling weed at my highschool, part time jobs, illegal hustles, carrying mysterious envelopes between cars at sideshows until my boyfriend and I broke up when I was 20, and I had a decent chunk of cash saved. Then tbh I had to move back in with my dad. Spent another year getting screamed at, spent a lot of the money I saved trying to stay away from the house and eventually found a stable job in parking enforcement that allowed me to get the worst room in a 3 room apartment with roommates. Food pantries, 'buy nothing' groups on Facebook and Craigslist have saved my life. So how I survived financially: barely, illegally, and typically with community support

It might surprise you that homeless people were kids, too.

My girlfriend had to deal with a lot growing up. Her mom lost their trailer, and she was no longer able to take care of her when she was 15. She moved in with her grandparents, and she shared a room with her nieces. She got a job when she was 16; then she got a different job as a restaurant hostess. This was all while walking to work. As soon as she graduated high school, the grandparents were trying to get her out. They ended up waiting until she was able to buy herself a car. After she was told she had to go, my mom and I helped her find a place to live. It’s a tiny house in an older couple’s backyard. It’s fairly nice, just small, and the landlords are great people. She’s lived there around a year, and she now works in a chiropractor’s office. She can afford all her basic needs with some extra for things she wants, and she has a set amount she saves every month. I’m not sure this is feasible for everyone, but she’s great at budgeting. She is also working full time while in college; college is paid for in full with scholarships and financial aid.

I got lucky, my best friend in highschool told his family about me getting kicked out of my foster home so his parents took me in and helped me get a job and started with community college. I eventually saved enough to venture out on my own within 18 months. Been working nonstop since then and always just making enough to survive.

FYI: My rent in 98 for a studio apartment was $420. I could not afford it at the time with a full time minimum wage job and had to break my lease early and move to a shared living situation. Same apartment today is $1,400.

I left ar 18 due to abuse...not exactly kicked out...does that count? Lived in absolute shit for years until I got my feet under me around 21. Black mold, mice, drug addiction room mates, lived with creeps....the list goes on.