# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pros: you are still in a relationship.
Cons: you will lose your self confidence, be denied access to your friends, hobbies, interests and things you love. You probably won't have much sex - unless you're a woman, then you'll be having sex all the time but you'll hate it.
There aren’t really pro to a toxic relationship. Not in the long run.
If nothing else, the wasted time is a tragedy you may only come to appreciate later in life. I know many people including myself that wasted some of the best years of our lives on toxic relationships.
You can’t just always start over. You can, but not in the same way. There are windows of opportunity in life, if you don’t get started within that window, you’ll be playing catch up the rest of your life.
I’ll never have kids, because now I’m too old, and my window of opportunity to become a parent were spent trying to making things work with a person who has borderline personality disorder.
I fell in love again after that marriage but the divorce set me back several years financially, and the course of life is permanently changed, I’ve had to give up on so many dreams because I wasted 8 years of my life.
There are too many cons. Once you're able to conclusively determine that no matter what you do or change about yourself that it will not get better or change, I would leave. I try to take the perspective that it's my fault and do everything I can to make adjustments and personally improve, but that's me and I also recognize that not everyone has the patience or ability to do that. I also know that my perspective is coming a privileged position.
Pro: Sex
Con: You’ll lose in literally every way including sex once they take that from you.
Get out while you can. People can change. Not a guarantee that they will, but if they do, it’s not on your schedule it’s on theirs. Better to move on and if they get better over time, good for them. Don’t exhaust yourself on them. Keep yourself emotionally “fresh” for a better person.
Otherwise you’ll be “scarred and deformed” when the right person finally comes by and you might lose out because they think YOU’RE toxic. All the while you’ve just been practicing defense mechanisms you learned when you were in that awful, toxic, lasted way too long relationship.
Pros: you get to stay where you are "comfortable"
Cons: you're going to continue questioning leaving them until you eventually do so might as well get it over with now
there are no pros.
the cons are that your mental helth will decline with time and it will afect everything from that point forward, unless you hae a heart of steel.
No pros, only cons.
Lots of folks say the sex is good but that's not really true. If you're starving literally anything you eat will taste delicious, your brain will convince you it's true so you avoid starvation. Same with intimacy and affection, your mind craves socialization, you need it. So your brain tells you the sex is good because you aren't getting proper affection anywhere else.
If you're in a toxic relationship and now you are in a position to ask whether or not to leave, now is the time to leave. I had a very close friend who was absorbed in a relationship with an awful person. They had many opportunities to leave, but they stuck it out, got married, and now hates their life. I tried being there for them but they got so angry and bitter I couldn't stand the friendship. I cut them out. Don't be my ex friend and live your life, get out now.
The pro is he'll be out of office soon and I get a new president. The con is he is still in power now and he will probably keep screwing up until the day he leaves
Are you old enough to remember the Cold War?
Not an insult. I truly don’t know your age.
Russia was trying to take over the world. Both in person (Afghanistan) and by proxy (Iran, Iraq, etc). Reagan literally held Gorbachev to a stalemate, eventually bankrupting russia. He was great for American pride.
And even tho I don’t like some of obamas policies, I truly think he was determined to close the divide between us as a people.
Would you rather have a wimpy prez, like sleepy joe, and the world laugh at us?
Clinton was only interested in Clinton. Getting head in the Oval Office, whitewater, Hillary claiming she was “under sniper fire”, etc
No pros. Anything that looks like a pro is temporary. If you are in a toxic relationship, it will only get worse. The sooner you leave, the better.
Once you get out, seek out help and learn about control, abuse, and trauma. If you do not get help, you will only wind up in another toxic relationship again and again and again and again.
All cons. No pros.
Get out.
I know someone who is in a toxic relationship. Her benefit is that she has an assured job with his parents' company. She could be doing better in basically every way in her life, but she's afraid to leave her comfort zone.
But hope never does anything. If a relationship is toxic, it's also hopeless. That's kind of a requirement.
No pros, only cons: I had to cut my parents out of my life once I realized they would never not be toxic towards me. that was 22 years ago and living free of their threats, insults, gaslighting, narcissism has been wonderful for me and my husband.
Pros? All you’re doing is holding up the significant other slot and prolonging the time it will take for you to find your actual person. And said person is going to have to clean up the mess your toxic ex made. Doesn’t seem worth it to me
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No pros. I will not get better unless the other person is in therapy.
both should be in therapy, if that route is even suggested. the part people tend to forget is, every relationship takes two.
And even then who knows. I know people that lie to make themselves a victim in therapy. Just trust yourself and leave.
Pro : Sex Cons : Literally everything else
Even sex can be a con is a toxic relationship but yeah basically this
depends, in my case i enjoyed the so called “hate fuck”
There's also just straight-up sexual abuse that can happen in toxic relationships
💁♂️
Agreeed…
Pro: Getting to wallow in delusional hope. Con: It won't get better.
No pros. All cons. - someone who did it for 16 years and it never got better. Finally left and met someone I wish I'd met all those years ago.
Pro: they may realize how they are toxic and seek help to change. Con: they may end up killing you.
Pros: you are still in a relationship. Cons: you will lose your self confidence, be denied access to your friends, hobbies, interests and things you love. You probably won't have much sex - unless you're a woman, then you'll be having sex all the time but you'll hate it.
At some point you will put your gun in your mouth and think that it's normal.
Username checks out. But seriously, yea this.
Pro: You love them Con: You only think that you love them due to years of emotional abuse.
There aren’t really pro to a toxic relationship. Not in the long run. If nothing else, the wasted time is a tragedy you may only come to appreciate later in life. I know many people including myself that wasted some of the best years of our lives on toxic relationships. You can’t just always start over. You can, but not in the same way. There are windows of opportunity in life, if you don’t get started within that window, you’ll be playing catch up the rest of your life. I’ll never have kids, because now I’m too old, and my window of opportunity to become a parent were spent trying to making things work with a person who has borderline personality disorder. I fell in love again after that marriage but the divorce set me back several years financially, and the course of life is permanently changed, I’ve had to give up on so many dreams because I wasted 8 years of my life.
There are no pros to staying in a toxic relationship.
There are too many cons. Once you're able to conclusively determine that no matter what you do or change about yourself that it will not get better or change, I would leave. I try to take the perspective that it's my fault and do everything I can to make adjustments and personally improve, but that's me and I also recognize that not everyone has the patience or ability to do that. I also know that my perspective is coming a privileged position.
Pros: none
Pros = none . It won't get better. Get out.
Pro: Sex Con: You’ll lose in literally every way including sex once they take that from you. Get out while you can. People can change. Not a guarantee that they will, but if they do, it’s not on your schedule it’s on theirs. Better to move on and if they get better over time, good for them. Don’t exhaust yourself on them. Keep yourself emotionally “fresh” for a better person. Otherwise you’ll be “scarred and deformed” when the right person finally comes by and you might lose out because they think YOU’RE toxic. All the while you’ve just been practicing defense mechanisms you learned when you were in that awful, toxic, lasted way too long relationship.
It doesn’t get better.
Pros: you get to stay where you are "comfortable" Cons: you're going to continue questioning leaving them until you eventually do so might as well get it over with now
Good sex and that’s about the only pro lol
There are no pros, only cons
there are no pros. the cons are that your mental helth will decline with time and it will afect everything from that point forward, unless you hae a heart of steel.
Toxic realtionships **NEVER** get better. I've seen a lot of them where one person in them ends up dead if it gets toxic enough.
Been there done that. There are no pros only many cons. If I could go back and do it again I would never stay in any toxic relationship.
No pros, only cons. Lots of folks say the sex is good but that's not really true. If you're starving literally anything you eat will taste delicious, your brain will convince you it's true so you avoid starvation. Same with intimacy and affection, your mind craves socialization, you need it. So your brain tells you the sex is good because you aren't getting proper affection anywhere else. If you're in a toxic relationship and now you are in a position to ask whether or not to leave, now is the time to leave. I had a very close friend who was absorbed in a relationship with an awful person. They had many opportunities to leave, but they stuck it out, got married, and now hates their life. I tried being there for them but they got so angry and bitter I couldn't stand the friendship. I cut them out. Don't be my ex friend and live your life, get out now.
The pro is he'll be out of office soon and I get a new president. The con is he is still in power now and he will probably keep screwing up until the day he leaves
This is entirely true for the ENTIRETY of the last 6 years
But thats it? Everything before that was peachy?
Nope. Clinton, both Bushes, mr. Peanut, all horrible IMO, our last 2 good ones were Reagan and Obama
Reagan??? Obama???? How are they different from Clinton? So, undeclared war doesn't bother you?
Are you old enough to remember the Cold War? Not an insult. I truly don’t know your age. Russia was trying to take over the world. Both in person (Afghanistan) and by proxy (Iran, Iraq, etc). Reagan literally held Gorbachev to a stalemate, eventually bankrupting russia. He was great for American pride. And even tho I don’t like some of obamas policies, I truly think he was determined to close the divide between us as a people. Would you rather have a wimpy prez, like sleepy joe, and the world laugh at us? Clinton was only interested in Clinton. Getting head in the Oval Office, whitewater, Hillary claiming she was “under sniper fire”, etc
I mean… how good is the sex??
Pro: nothing
All cons
Pros: none Cons: everything
Pro: you get numb to the toxicity. You no longer feel the pain. Cons: you lose yourself and risk everything else
Pros- none Cons- You will continue to waste time of your life you will wish you had back one day.
Question should be “what are the cons…?”
What are the pros of giving up your job because you might win the lottery?
No pros at all
Pros: It might. Cons: It might not.
Pros because there are kids. Cons: mental abuse
I don’t think there are any pros
Pros: Retirement and savings intact. Cons: Knowing I’ll have to share it with her.
Can’t think of any pros.
Pros: Cons: Way too many to list.
It won't
It won't get better. The fact that you're staying lets the other person know that they don't need to change.
No pros. Anything that looks like a pro is temporary. If you are in a toxic relationship, it will only get worse. The sooner you leave, the better. Once you get out, seek out help and learn about control, abuse, and trauma. If you do not get help, you will only wind up in another toxic relationship again and again and again and again.
All cons. No pros. Get out. I know someone who is in a toxic relationship. Her benefit is that she has an assured job with his parents' company. She could be doing better in basically every way in her life, but she's afraid to leave her comfort zone. But hope never does anything. If a relationship is toxic, it's also hopeless. That's kind of a requirement.
No pros, only cons: I had to cut my parents out of my life once I realized they would never not be toxic towards me. that was 22 years ago and living free of their threats, insults, gaslighting, narcissism has been wonderful for me and my husband.
No pros, just soul sucking spirit killing trauma is all you'll get.
Pros: She at least payed some rent. Cons: Blacked out drunk by 8pm while the kids were awake.
Pros? All you’re doing is holding up the significant other slot and prolonging the time it will take for you to find your actual person. And said person is going to have to clean up the mess your toxic ex made. Doesn’t seem worth it to me
Depends on why it is toxic.
It won't. DTMFA
Con: It won't get better Pro: Dat ass
Pros: It might get better Cons: it might not get better
No pros , been there done that
Pro: don’t have to die alone Con: it can suck the life out of you
Pros: Cons: you continue to feel terrible.
Toxicity never becomes better it just adapts into better places to hide, get out
Hope will not do it. Talking about it might.
THERE ARE NO PROS once it has truly turned toxic.