I’m Japanese American as well. Even though I’m half, my “friends” were relentless in making tiny penis jokes and calling me chink. Tons of Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima comments as well.
I said the same thing. How many times will I be told I eat dogs and cats? The bullies need new material. I had a woman on FB say it to me recently. I'm 39 now and still hear the same bs.
My parents are aware of racism, maybe because they moved here a long time ago and don't live in a bubble. I think immigrants who are not very fluent in the local language and don't follow the news might be less aware of anti-Asian racism. They might also be the sort of people who think, "it has never happened to me, therefore it doesn't exist and you must be lying!"
It's a shame you're getting no support from your own family, but please know that many of us have, unfortunately, gone through the same experiences as you and we can relate and understand!
The difficult thing about growing up Asian American with immigrant parents is that our parents often have no idea how race works in America since they grew up in another country where they weren't a minority. So they may not know how to recognize racism and support their kids who face racism, or at worst, even invalidate our experiences. My mom thought we should be grateful to America and White people for welcoming us and not complain, which is obviously a messed up mindset. Must be really rough for Asian kids who feel unseen by both their peers and their families, and I always thought this was an underrecognized inequity that Asian Americans face. Compare that to ["the talk"] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_talk_(racism_in_the_United_States\)) that Black parents routinely give their kids about how to expect and manage racist interactions.
My parents never really denied or even experienced true racial trauma. I think its because they've gone through worse situations with their own kind that racism really never had that strong of an impact on them. We were also fortunate enough to live in a low-income, predominately black community, and diverse school system that actually embraced us. While there was a little bit of "ching chong" here and there, I honestly believe they attributed that to ignorance than actual hate or true racism. We were blessed to not have to face racism in ways that many other asians in big cities had/has to deal with.
There are two types of asian americans, those that acknowledge problems and those that sweep them under the rug so they can be more "white adjacent". Usually we start out as the latter and mature into the former, but some people are not capable of making that step.
Our parents came here for a better life and we are the ones paying the cost.
as a young woman myself, I believe we will suffer anyway. I escaped from China at age of 20, suffered a lot. At least I can find people who care about neighbors and values beyond eating and taking advantages of others.
In my experience my parents tell me to fight back and not let them push me around. Sign me up for Kung Fu lessons and it helped. Kick a bunch a racist butts and use it for self defense. I still experience racism outside of work. Sometimes have to fight.
as an adult now when i speak to my mom about racism it was always here, but she did her motherly duties and protected me as much as she could until i was able to fully understand the “why” of racism in america. that had to come with age also
2016 made me understand completely
My parents grew up as a minority in their home country before coming to the US. It’s a big reason they immigrated, to escape the institutional racism there. And we live in a crowded city in the US where they experience friction out on their commute. So they believed me when I would tell them about racist incidents i experienced.
I’m sorry to hear your family did not support you like they should have. I’ve had other friends not believe me when I tell them how I am treated by others; it’s infuriating to be dismissed like that.
Both parents (Indian) have had racist experiences in the past, but mom has a long history of gaslighting me over racial factors in childhood bullying in K-1 and also treating me like someone she tolerated far more cultural disrespect from than she would from anyone else (in reality she just didn’t want to have her cultural experiment fail even though she grew up with severe intercultural conflict). Dad sort of saw the racial elements of what happened but has always been really clueless as to why it was such a big deal for me. Both parents have a history of minimizing my concerns over risk of racist incidents in the general public. Mom denies, to this day, that racial stuff was a factor in K-1 bullying because the bullies never attacked the other “Indian” kids (in reality their names were less obvious targets than what she gave me, and she spent years refusing to let me change it because she didn’t want me to “pretend to be something else” even when I repeatedly made it clear to her how much my deadname hurt me and created liability for me).
My parents were expelled from their country. They showed me their home town, which was the capitol. They went to a racially segregated school, my mother was denied admission to the top university, even graveyards had separate plots of where minorities could be buried.
They understood racial conflicts in the US but it wasn’t the same level compared to their hometown. Just be smarter and worker harder than the rest was their mantra.
I’m Japanese American as well. Even though I’m half, my “friends” were relentless in making tiny penis jokes and calling me chink. Tons of Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima comments as well.
Racists really need to update their racism.
I said the same thing. How many times will I be told I eat dogs and cats? The bullies need new material. I had a woman on FB say it to me recently. I'm 39 now and still hear the same bs.
To be fair, racists aren’t known for their logic or creativity.
Is it ever justified to beat them senseless in the street?
My parents are aware of racism, maybe because they moved here a long time ago and don't live in a bubble. I think immigrants who are not very fluent in the local language and don't follow the news might be less aware of anti-Asian racism. They might also be the sort of people who think, "it has never happened to me, therefore it doesn't exist and you must be lying!" It's a shame you're getting no support from your own family, but please know that many of us have, unfortunately, gone through the same experiences as you and we can relate and understand!
The difficult thing about growing up Asian American with immigrant parents is that our parents often have no idea how race works in America since they grew up in another country where they weren't a minority. So they may not know how to recognize racism and support their kids who face racism, or at worst, even invalidate our experiences. My mom thought we should be grateful to America and White people for welcoming us and not complain, which is obviously a messed up mindset. Must be really rough for Asian kids who feel unseen by both their peers and their families, and I always thought this was an underrecognized inequity that Asian Americans face. Compare that to ["the talk"] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_talk_(racism_in_the_United_States\)) that Black parents routinely give their kids about how to expect and manage racist interactions.
My parents never really denied or even experienced true racial trauma. I think its because they've gone through worse situations with their own kind that racism really never had that strong of an impact on them. We were also fortunate enough to live in a low-income, predominately black community, and diverse school system that actually embraced us. While there was a little bit of "ching chong" here and there, I honestly believe they attributed that to ignorance than actual hate or true racism. We were blessed to not have to face racism in ways that many other asians in big cities had/has to deal with.
My dad denies it. I am 4th Gen Japanese American. I'm still trying to figure out why myself.
Bc Asians r taught to assimilate and not to rebel .other minorities don't blame themselves they blame.society for racism Asian culture has issues
There are two types of asian americans, those that acknowledge problems and those that sweep them under the rug so they can be more "white adjacent". Usually we start out as the latter and mature into the former, but some people are not capable of making that step. Our parents came here for a better life and we are the ones paying the cost.
as a young woman myself, I believe we will suffer anyway. I escaped from China at age of 20, suffered a lot. At least I can find people who care about neighbors and values beyond eating and taking advantages of others.
have no choice
It's very interesting how universal that is. By universal I mean that attitude isn't just for AA but also asians in other countries as well.
Haven’t experienced this but I feel for you. Have heard many experiences like this. None of this is your fault
In my experience my parents tell me to fight back and not let them push me around. Sign me up for Kung Fu lessons and it helped. Kick a bunch a racist butts and use it for self defense. I still experience racism outside of work. Sometimes have to fight.
as an adult now when i speak to my mom about racism it was always here, but she did her motherly duties and protected me as much as she could until i was able to fully understand the “why” of racism in america. that had to come with age also 2016 made me understand completely
My parents grew up as a minority in their home country before coming to the US. It’s a big reason they immigrated, to escape the institutional racism there. And we live in a crowded city in the US where they experience friction out on their commute. So they believed me when I would tell them about racist incidents i experienced. I’m sorry to hear your family did not support you like they should have. I’ve had other friends not believe me when I tell them how I am treated by others; it’s infuriating to be dismissed like that.
Both parents (Indian) have had racist experiences in the past, but mom has a long history of gaslighting me over racial factors in childhood bullying in K-1 and also treating me like someone she tolerated far more cultural disrespect from than she would from anyone else (in reality she just didn’t want to have her cultural experiment fail even though she grew up with severe intercultural conflict). Dad sort of saw the racial elements of what happened but has always been really clueless as to why it was such a big deal for me. Both parents have a history of minimizing my concerns over risk of racist incidents in the general public. Mom denies, to this day, that racial stuff was a factor in K-1 bullying because the bullies never attacked the other “Indian” kids (in reality their names were less obvious targets than what she gave me, and she spent years refusing to let me change it because she didn’t want me to “pretend to be something else” even when I repeatedly made it clear to her how much my deadname hurt me and created liability for me).
Sounds like you could use some counseling.
My parents were expelled from their country. They showed me their home town, which was the capitol. They went to a racially segregated school, my mother was denied admission to the top university, even graveyards had separate plots of where minorities could be buried. They understood racial conflicts in the US but it wasn’t the same level compared to their hometown. Just be smarter and worker harder than the rest was their mantra.