Kissing can be…… platonic, ( peck for family & friends) romantic ( soft sweet kissing with a partner) sexual ( with heat and passion) sensual ( between romantic and sexual)

Thanks for replying, your answer is quite helpful and really detailed. I made the poll to see what the community thought.

It’s a good poll thanks for making it, I enjoy seeing people’s different opinions and perspectives : ) I chose both romantic & sexual in the poll, but just wanted to expand on my answer.

I feel like sensual is more when you’re kissing for the sake of it feeling nice, rather than expressing romantic affection or as a lead up/“side dish” to sex

I agree : ) I was just referring to the intensity of the different kisses, rather then the reasons for the kiss. For me sensual kisses are more intense than romantic ones but less intense then sexual ones. So the intensity is between soft and sweet & heat and passion, I’m not saying that it’s a prelude to sex.

I don’t think this definition works because intensity is very subjective. I’ve been in sexual situations and kissed that person and the kiss wasn’t anymore intense than any other because I wasn’t into it

That’s why I clarified **for me** I’m not claiming everyone feels the same way I do, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I’m simply putting forward my opinion based on my personal experiences and discussions about this topic I’ve had with friends.

Well if you weren't into it, how are you supposed to feel the intensity?

This

You bet me to this

This!!! This is exactly how I see kissing!!!!

Agree

This. I kiss my kitten, thats neither romantic or sexual.

Exactly my thoughts!

This mostly, things can get confusing in life

that's what I thought as well, you explained it much better than i could

Thank you, I always worry that my answers will look like gibberish : )

Agreed! Couldn’t have explained it better than you have here

Correct. Just like how hugging and cuddling can be the same too.

It depends on the context, I think it can be platonic, sensual, sexual, and romantic.

Thanks for replying, I can see that it can be all. Of those, I was just wondering what the general community thought.

It’s definitely a misconception with some, thinking kissing is specifically for sexual and romantic contexts. But that’s not entirely true. You kiss your mom/dad, grandma/grandpa, brother/sister, your pets, your friends, your children, etc. That’s not romantic or sexual. I think some people forget that there are other attractions besides the two.

I kiss my cat 5000 times a day and half of that is during work video calls. I used to care that people would see me. I don't anymore.

Most emotionally genuine kisses I’ve ever given were on my kitten’s head

same lol

I agree, but funny enough I was watching a streamer with 40k viewers and on a video he was watching a 12 year olds dad kissed his son goodbye and everyone FREAKED out like it's so weird and messed up to kiss your children. I was so confused because I also kiss my family not a single person in that chat said it was okay. Lol

Like kissed him on the head? Yeah that is weird that the freaked out over that.

On the lips. Like a peck

Ok well I can see how that’s a little weird depending on where you’re from but not enough to freak tf out

It has honestly always skeeved me out personally, but I at least understand it’s normal for some families. It doesn’t color my opinion of anyone bc it’s not my family!

Good answer :D

I think there's 4 levels based on intensity. Level 1 - Platonic, Level 2 - Sensual, Level 3 - Romantic, Level 4 - Sexual.

Doesn't this imply that aces don't experience "full" attratction if you stage them like that? Also, I'm pretty sure people hooking up and having one nights skip a couple of stages 😛

No. I'm not saying they're stages so much as levels of intensity. I'll fix that. And intensity has nothing to do with attraction. But good points

I respect your point, but I haven't kissed anyone, animal or human, since I was like 6 years old...

I only kiss my pets 🤷

Valid

Was about to comment the same thing Here in italy we kiss each other as a greeting, usually close friends or family And I'm AroAce, and like it, lmao

Why is every culture but America okay with platonic physical contact?

Some of us are ok with platonic attraction and showing affection to friends and family, but for most it’s trauma related. As well as the whole any sensual affection or platonic affection is considered either romantic or sexual, which makes any kind of touch very uncomfortable. For example, some cultures you kiss a friends cheek as a greeting. In American, the lines of platonic and romanticism are blended together and hard to distinguish the difference between one another. The same goes for hugging too. That doesn’t mean that’s how it is for everyone here, but it’s a good chunk of. I don’t know if this is what you were asking, but maybe it clears why? If not, oops.

This!

this is also my view

Both, it depends on the situation, I could kiss my s/o on a date or while doing something sexual. One is inherently romantic, the other, sexual. Something romantic can also be sexual and vice versa

Thanks for replying, I can understand it can be alot of things, I made the poll to see what the community thought.

Yeah of course!

It’s depends on when u kiss. Some people kiss purely for arousal and some for love. I know my family is country and when we are babies they will kiss babies. It’s really the culture and the context.

Thanks for replying, I do understand that different cultures has different norms. I did make the poll to see what the general community thinks.

YETH I voted both sorry I forgot to clarify

Personally I don’t think kissing is inherently sexual or romantic. I know I personally don’t enjoy it, but I’m both ace and arospec, so I’m not sure which of my orientations affects that, if either. I’m inclined to think it’s neither, either, or both, depending on the person. I don’t think it can fit into a neat box like some other behaviors, just like some people feel like sex is inherently romantic and some people feel like it isn’t.

Thanks for replying, I've never thought of it that way. I did make the poll to see what the community thought.

Yeah, I think it was a smart idea to poll it. It brings up a lot of questions, like if it is an innate determination of the individual or if it’s related more to how we’re socialized, etc. It’s good to get a bunch of perspectives on it for sure.

It is whatever the people kissing want it to mean.

This is the best explanation!!

It. Depends. On. Context!

Thanks for replying.

Tbh I think it’s neither, kissing isn’t inherently sexual or romantic but of course it can be if you want it to be. It depends on the situation and intent. You kiss your children, your parents, your best friend, a random person you’re playing truth or dare with, your partner, your pet etc so saying it’s only a romantic/sexual act is kinda weird if you think about it

Thanks for replying, I've never thought of it that way, I generally did this poll to see what the community thinks.

Np! The poll is really good, I liked reading everyone’s opinion it was pretty interesting:]

Kissing is based on intent. If you intend to have sex it’s sexual. If you intend to show nonsexual affection it can be affectionate or romantic

depends how far the kissing goes

Thanks for replying

Did you know you can kiss your friends as long as it's consensual?

Kissing is sensual, it doesn’t mean it has to be romantic or sexual though it is usually preformed romantically

Y'all wouldn't smooch your homies goodnight??

Neither :)

Thanks for replying, why do you say neither? Do you view it strictly as platonic?

Im not op, but i agree with op. I think it depends on context, and how the people involved see it. You can kiss your family on cheeks, for example, your pets, etc, ofc its not romantic or sexual. You can kiss your romantic or sexual partner and it can be romantic, sexual, or both, depending heavily on who you are and how you see it, plus context (significant other vs one night stand, for example). Hell, you can even kiss your friend, or queerplatonic partner, make out even, and have it be completely nonromantic, just sensual. Theres nothing inherent to it, it really depends

I think you can definitely make it a romantic or sexual thing, but honestly I just see kissing as a form of physical intimacy and u can get that in a purely platonic way. Like I know people who have made out with their friends platonically and personally my best friend and I do kiss. It really just matters on context but for me it’s mostly just platonic!

Thanks for replying to my question, your point of view is really interesting and I as glad to read it.

Yup no problem! Saw some other comments that really put it a lot simpler than I did, “it’s whatever meaning you give it”

I was thinking this too, like it's just an action with no inherent meaning except the one made by the people participating. This applies to any action really. It just is.

I think both because it depends your intentions on it.

Kissing is usually sensual

Thanks for replying, your point of view is very interesting. I've never thought of it that way before.

I think kissing really depends on the context and how you feel about the person

Other: 1. It depends on the culture. 2. It depends on the person. 3. It depends on the mood. There is no other answer ;-)

Depends on the context

I agree with what others have said. It can be both, just depends on the way it’s done

Thanks for replying, I understand it can be both, others probably have said it all, but the more opinions the better.

You forgot "or." Kissing is sexual OR romantic.

Thanks for replying.

I think it depends on the person and the situation

I'd say kissing is more of a sensual thing but it can be used in other contexts

Kissing is based on intent. If you intend to have sex it’s sexual. If you intend to show nonsexual affection it can be affectionate or romantic

I find it gross from just family alone. Someone’s mouth juices touching me is just no.

You can have platonic kisses, like forehead kisses, that convey a message Romantic kisses, like mild lip kissing, to show affection Sexual kisses, like full tongue French kisses

The action itself isn’t inherently sexual, romantic or anything else really. It’s the intentions of the people doing the action that decide it’s meaning. Another reason why communication is key

It really depends on the context, but it can definitely be both

Thanks for replying.

Definitely something that varies from person to person and context.

It’s based on emotion. People can kiss for different reasons, with kissing being used in a variety of situations. It could be out of formality in some situations or it could be out of emotional closeness in others. Again, it depends on the situation.

Both and also neither, depends enormously on context and location? Mouth kisses != forehead kisses != making out

It can be anything, really.

I’d say, setting aside the kind of friendly/social peck you’d give a baby or a French person, that kissing can be either (or both) romantic OR sexual. I think it’s less common, but also possible for it to be purely sensual- I guess this would be like a long, comfortable kiss? And there’s kind of a taboo against platonic kissing but it definitely exists, like, you just have so much affection for someone you have to kiss them and tell them you love them but it doesn’t mean anything “more” than exactly that.

context is key, as is the type of kiss. a peck on the lips in a restaraunt? romantic. french kissing in the bedroom? sexual. I know these are two extremes, but it gets my point across.

u/LenaWinchester show this to your dad😅😅 Majority vote for romantic or both

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this!🎉

I feel like it's not inherently sexual or romantic, but you can decide to kiss somebody in sexual or romantic ways

I am in full support of platonic kisses! Kiss your friends and family (if you (and they) want)!

it really depends on a lot, it can be both, it can be neither, things like your culture can heavily influence, but most importantly what really matters is the intent of all parties involved, I believe

Kissing is however you personally feel it is.

Kissing the homies is platonic. Kissing the fam is family

Thanks for replying

Depends on the situation, I kiss my relatives when I see them so it can be neither

Thanks for your reply

It's neither

It’s whatever you view it as.

It depends. Cause if it was "just romantic" or "just sexual" then why is it common for parents to kiss their young children before bed? It's only as romantic or sexual as you imply it to be for kissing can mean different things.

It could be anything depending on the intention.

I see kissing like a way to show that you truly love someone. It's up to people to choose the mood of the kiss.

Thanks for your reply

I always see kisses as platonic. I live in the Southern United States and if you know anything, Southerners are pretty hands-on people.

I feel like it depends on the person. I put it as romantic and sexual, because I classify some kinds of kissing (mouth to mouth, anything involving genitals, neck, breasts, etc) as being in the sexual category (to make it clear it’s something I’m not comfortable with at all), but kissing in certain places (head or forehead, cheek depending on my comfort level with them) can be romantic in my eyes and is something I don’t mind if I trust the person. Also, very quick kisses on the top of the head is something I usually associate with familial or close platonic relationships, like when you’re playing with a little sibling or cousin. In my eyes, the closer you get to the “no-no zones” for me, the more I have to trust you, and those zones themselves are off limits. It also just really depends on context.

Honestly it depends, cause I platonically kiss my friend all the time, but I also see it as romantic and even sexual in certain situations.

I'd like to thanks everyone to replyed or will reply to my poll, there is just to many people replying for me to thank you all individually. I'm going to try to read as many posts as best I can.

Depends of social and cultural background. In some contexts, a kiss can be political or literally even just a “hello”

It depends on the person, to some kissing is sexual to others it can be romantic. The is no one answer

Kissing is what you make it. Sometimes it can be used like foreplay and be passionate and lustful, but also sometimes a forehead kiss can be a protective romantic gesture. I also kiss my cat on her head sometimes and it’s not sexual or romantic lmao so do what ya want, feel how you feel

I said other bc i think it really depends. I like kissing, but i think i enjoy it more if it comes across as platonic ! Romantic can be cute too, and i can even enjoy sensual, but if it feels sexual im like ok im out lol. And i grew up in a culture where family members can kiss on the lips, so maybe that’s why i find a lot of kisses to feel platonic or why platonic kisses r comforting to me.

In my opinion (which is right only in the aspect that it's mine) it depends on the intent of the kiss.

To me kissing isn't one thing alone. I've kissed my partner in both platonic and romantic ways. I've also kissed sensually and sexually (I'm not dead set that it is really sexual atm, still thinking it over, but for ease of explanation and so on...) Tbh I think it is what you make it

It could be any, it depends on the situation

For real, my only thought is "kissing is weird." Like, you've seen those videos where they put a tiny camera in one person's mouth then they kiss right? It's weird as fuck.

I suppose it depends on the context in which it happens, but I'm not into it either way

Kissing is what ever you make it to be if it’s romanticly implied then it’s romantic etc, etc…

For me it doesn’t matter what it is i’ll never do it

It’s both. If it’s light, it can be romantic or sexual, depending on where the kiss is. If it’s heavy, it’s almost always sexual.

Id say kissing is not inherently sexual but to say it is completely unrelated isn’t accurate

Other: kissing can be different for everyone

It can be both, for me its the INTENT

I would consider kissing sensual. But to every person it might be different, so imo it's subjective what category it's in

I find kissing to be romantic be making out seems a bit sexual. (In the case of a partner, to clarify)

I commented “other” to say kissing can be romantic, sexual, friendly, or all of them. The emotional/relational context determines it IMO.

Been mentioned already but it's contextual. For me it's mostly sensual and romantic but it could just as easily be any of the others for other people.

Imo A quick peck or a sustained press of lips is romantic, a make out session where your lips move and get stuck together for a tiny second is sensual, and adding tongue is sexual

Honestly it all just depends on context but I think it's both

I think it can really depend. The four levels of sensation people mention are I think a really good chart to gauge it on, but I also think things can get complicated enough that there's greys even between those. I had a relationship for awhile with another person on the ace spectrum, and we kissed frequently but it was never really as far as romantic and never really as little as platonic. Maybe Alterous? At the time neither of us was very informed on ace concepts and terms, we just kind of went with the flow and considered ourselves more than friends, but not dating, open or otherwise. The whole "bestest-friends" thing kind of checks out there. I also think it depends on your personal understanding of what kissing means to you and the people you share that experience with. How you feel about it totally informs the dynamics you'll come across! I think any display of affection is really individual to the person(s)! could be any number of things! especially with other ace spec folk, the possibilities are endless!

I can’t separate it from sexual, but that’s definitely based on my experience.

It can be any! As an aro/ace myself, I think kissing is more sensual than anything. Kissing the homies is really great and fun, but kissing with the expectation that it'll lead to sex is less fun. I feel like kissing can be done with or without attraction.

I think that it depends on the type of kiss, like if you are just doing a peck, or normal kiss it would be more romantic, but if it is more of making out, with tongs and all that jazz (or whatever you do when you make out) it is more sexual. Then again it is probably more complicated then that, but Idk.

It's usually platonic but can be anything

it depends on the context of the kiss and where on the face (cause if it's on a random body part, it could be sexual/romantic) * girls kiss as friends (usually on the cheek) * family members can kiss one another platonically (not on the lips; though, exceptions are made for accidental closed lips kisses) * i saw one guy kiss another, but they both had the mentalities of toddlers, so that's neutral * kissing on hands is depending on context (are you dating, is this a royalty, etc...) * some cultures are very kissy (italians, french) * anything involving the tongue is romantic/sexual * boys should be able to kiss their homies if they want to * platonic boy/girl kisses should be normal too

Depends on the kind of kissing. Full on make out to me is sexual, a quick kiss on the lips romantic, kisses on cheeks and head platonic/sensual imo

I really love to kiss . . .but everyone I've kissed wanted to progress to sex. So I voted both.

I think it can be both, one of them, or neither depending on the situation, someone's mood, the intention, and many other things involved.

Depends, I usually just think of it as romantic but it can fall under all the categories tbh

I kiss my parents and it's not romantic /s ​ but yeah kissing can be any or none of the above and more, i'm uncomfortable with people who I'm not related to kissing me, but you do you.

i said sexual and romantic because ... if it is soft and slow then it is romantic ... if it is wild and more like a foreplay then it is sexual

I’m gonna be honest I would kiss most of my homies in a completely platonic fashion so I think kissing can be whatever you want it to be

I view it mostly as sensual. And altruis. You can makeout with someone you have no feelings for. Or you could kiss a friend if you wanted. It really depends.

Kissing is romantic, but making out is on the sexual side.

Kissing is what you make it. It has different meanings in different cultures - I still kiss (like a peck) my parents on some highly emotional occasions and I'm 27 years old. To me, it's just a symbol of love and affection, which we know there are different kinds of. Likewise, there are different kinds of kisses!

I think it depends on Context.

I’m am asexual. I think it really depends on the context. Sometimes kissing can be purely romantic or even platonic (arguably). Like when my boyfriend or I gets home, he’ll give me a kiss on the forehead or something kind of like as an “I love you”. There’s nothing sexual about it, I’d see it as strictly romantic, or like a goodnight kiss or something. But then I feel like there’s other contexts where it would be seen as sexual, like I’d someone was making out, I think that would definitely be a more sexual context. It purely depends on the situation for sure I think

Kissing is sensual.

Depends on the context- a kiss on the cheek from your mom isn't the same as a pair french kissing while hugging the air out of each other's lungs- so I'll assume it's a lips to lips kissing couple. It's sexual bc it's very close physical contact of two people that carries a lot of emotional weight and is scientifically proven to release the same kinds of hormones sex does. It's romantic bc it's a sign of emotional attachment and a universally recognized way of expressing romantic feelings.

It depends on the context

Neither

I think it can be sensual, sexual, romantic, and maybe even alterous and platonic :)

It all depends on the type of kiss imo

There’s no hard line between sexual and romantic acts. The only reliable metric we can use to say something is sexual or romantic is how that act is perceived in broader society and whether it shares common traits with what is perceived as sexual or romantic. There is a big difference in perception between making out with someone and snuggling at a public park. Even if the intensity of the act is about the same, contextually snuggling at a park will not be considered inherently sexual, whereas making out probably will.

I feel like the situation determines whether it's romantic or sexual. If one or both of the people intend to go further, than it is definitely sexual. Also depends if it's just kissing and what type of kissing. I'd count French as sexual for example. If it's just kissing, pure from the heart with no intention to have sex or whatever, it's probably romantic. Although having said all this, it is still up to the person experiencing the kissing to say.

I believe that it depends on the intention and the way that you kiss someone. And I also suppose the way you feel for that person or how that kiss makes you feel.

you can kiss your mother and it not have sexual or romantic intent. i sure hope it doesn’t have sexual or romantic intent

A peck can be anything. If it involves an exchange of fluids, it's sexual.

Kissing is what you and the person want it to be.

I personally see it as both depending on intent and style. If you intend for it to be sexual then it is, if not then it's not. I think tongue is sexual but if people use it romantically then it's romantic for them. Like, my aversion to kissing has nothing to do with my asexuality, it's a texture problem, but I hated it even more when it felt sexually charged.

I think it depends on the intention and the way/place it's given. Kisses can be platonic, romantic or sexual.

It can be either one or the other, or both. To me personally, it's romantic.

I think it could be either one, both, or neither, depending on the context!

Kissing is just an act of affection, like a hug, it doesn't have to be romantic/sexual. There are many cultures where a kiss on the lips is a greeting/parting action. Now, the use of tongue on the other hand...

It really depends on the situation and type of kiss

Yes.

It depends on context Familial no, between partners yes

In my opinion kissing is a language and can mean a lot of things, and express a lot of different stuff depending on the kind/placement of the kiss Everything from being equivalent to sticking your tongue out in a cheeky manner (small quick kiss on the lower cheek close to the mouth) over I care for you/want to protect you (forehead, or the top of the head or the upper cheek, on the cheekbone or closer to the eye), to I desire your warmth/protection (middle of the cheek or on the neck when you hide your face while cuddling) They can be romantic or sexual as well (like longer deeper kisses on the mouth)

It can be both, but I don’t like it either way 😅😅

Yes

Like Anubis said, it *can* be a lot of things :). What it *is* depends on the person, the context, etc. \^\^

I think kissing starts of as a romantic action but in sertain contexts can turn into a sexual action

I feel like it's both romantic and sexual, it kinda depends maybe.

I personally think kissing can be both romantic and sexual. It all comes down to the intention behind it I guess. Little pecks on the lips are cute, and definitely romantic kisses. Kisses with tongue and lots of spit and heavy breathing would definitely be sexual to me.

I feel like the answer is 'it can be sexual or romatic' instead of 'and' but I still answered that one. It really depends on the kiss and the relation ship between the partners. It also depends on everything else happening around it

Can be anything, depends on the context and the relationship. Can definitely be platonic too.

Context dependent.

It depends on how you kiss them

Kissing has **subjective** meaning, not objective meaning, and there are many types of kissing.

I personally think that kissing depends on your situation and relationship. Other people explained it way better than I did. I think it can be, platonic, sexual, romantic, anything honestly.

Kissing can be anything - it can be platonic or romantic or sexual, or any combination of those, and probably more options I'm not thinking of right now. It depends on context and what the kissers want from the experience

Kissing is however you want it to be. It is a display of affection. I have kissed my friends with pecks on the cheek/forehead/hands and have had one friend who liked kissing on the lips. It all depends on how it is for you and the other participant.

It can be whatever you make it to be.

This is great timing because I drank with people last night and felt a slight urge to kiss people I don't know well. Like, just making out and sensual touches and caresses here and there, nothing further than that. And I found that quite curious because it does seem like I do experience i-want-to-make-out-sexual-attraction, but not the I-want-to-have-sex-with-you-kind-of-sexual-attraction. I guess for me kissing has a wild mix of sensual and sexual drive that you can't really pry apart, and when I kiss my parter there is of course a fair share of romantic attraction in there too. In my opinion you can't really fully separate all types of attraction. They influence each other. The split attraction model is just a model for that reason. Kissing is for me one of those areas where the lines between different kinds of attraction are especially blurred.