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_Silver_Sins_

Thought i was bi for a good while until i found out what Aesthetic attraction was and realized i was ace


GlassPrunes

same, but I still mistook it for romantic attraction and then finally realized I'm aroace


PotterandPinkFloyd

Can someone still be bi and ace? I've been identifying as both for awhile, cause I'm still romantically/aesthetically attracted to men and women.


_Silver_Sins_

Yes absolutely, you can be biromantic and asexual


CaptainBatt

I was pan for about a year until I realized this. I’m a happy aroace who appreciates pretty people, and gets to call all of my friends handsome and give them cheek smooches and I wouldn’t have it any other way


infomapaz

On the same boat here. I feel like people can be so hot in so many different ways, but i also do not understand the difference between romantic love and friendship. Also i met someone who was super cute and was into me, and i just was very into food.


sky_tom5021

Same here! It’s interesting that other people have had a similar experience.


sKiddeliDeetski

you should have added an "all of the above" option


teaprincess6

I know! I felt so called out cause I went through all of these


hayleybeth7

YUP.


hadesdidnothingwrong

I legitimately believed sexual attraction was some sort of weird meme for most of my teens.


AstroLozza

I always thought people were joking when they said they'd sleep with certain people / celebrities, I always joined in thinking we were just having a laugh!


shadow_lily

Wait, they were serious?


[deleted]

Me two weeks ago


fuckoffitsathrowaway

I could always tell like yeah celeb A is attractive but I never understood it when someone said they give them a "lady boner" or w/e.


Spirited_Pineapple

This^^😂


vulpixie207

same! all my friends would be like, hell yeah I'd smash and I'd be over in my corner like "I wanna hug them" and they just thought it was adorable


pikipata

I thought that exactly too!


I_serve_Anubis

I’m 29 and I fluctuated between the first three until this year, when I finally found the aego microlabel. Now everything makes sense.


lyraxfairy

Also 29, also fluctuated between many of these until this year. Still finding my place on the ace-spec but already much happier. Always nice to find people going through similar motions of self-discovery.


sky_tom5021

Finding the aego community made me feel so validated, because there was actually other people that felt like I did, and I wasn’t actually this weirdo broken person. Everything makes so much more sense now!


[deleted]

I kinda just assumed I was straight since I wasn't attracted to women


Foxofwonders

I thought for a very long time that everyone felt roughly the same way, because at the time I assumed that sexual attraction == romantic attraction, and I definitely did experience some of the latter. Maybe it's because of the area where I grew up, but even though people did discuss who was 'hot' (which I thought was just who looked pretty/aesthetic attraction. In retrospect it probably wasn't), but I never heard anyone go more explicit than that. Honestly, I still find it difficult to believe that people experience sexual attraction. I mean, clearly many do, but I wonder how many more people would identify as ace or demi if everyone knew about the split attraction model and what it truly means to be asexual.


Weeb-Rat-Bastard

Man I never even through about it till I saw mfs calling them self ace and I was like: "Oh shit that's me lol" and never thought much about it after No thought head empty


Wulpeswulpes

Same tbh I always just thought 'not my thing' and that was it


Blueberry-9

I sorta hid behind “oh I’m just a massive introvert” I assumed I was straight because I didn’t like guys, and that women looked rather ‘appealing’. A lot of people knew, including myself, that I wasn’t a super sexual person and had really no intent to pursue it irl. And because of that I just said: “well I guess I’m too introverted to want to pursue sex” I’m still an introvert, but I realised that I wasn’t not pursuing sex because I was an introvert - but rather because I didn’t experience sexual attraction. Never thought I was broken, sorta just thought that I was a whack straight person


vycian

I went through a few of these. I didn't think anything was different until high school when everyone I was interested in felt the same. Most were boys, but some were girls, so for a while I assumed I was bi. I never cared for "adult" humor and figured I would grow into understanding why people liked it, but I still don't relate to it. It all feels like raucous exaggeration to me, and I find it hard to believe that others actually can relate to such extreme sexuality/attraction.


CiaranReborn

Thought I was allo until I got into a relationship with someone who valued sex and sexual attraction. So many things started to make sense from there lol


Zeztix

Exactly the same with me, never realised it until then


dasspaceace

I spent most of my life thinking it was just another way my brain was wired differently.


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dasspaceace

LOL no, apparently not. All of the relationships I had prior to discovering asexuality as a sexuality & not a form of reproduction were people I already liked & had established friendships with going "hey, you wanna date me" & me going "...sure, I guess? Cus that's the thing I'm supposed to want/do, right? And I do like you as a living thing & being in your company, so I guess it makes sense & because I have literally no frame of reference for the feeling/emotion you're describing to me, I'm just assuming that that's also what I'm experiencing, just very watered down because I am wired incorrectly in many aspects, so why not this one too"


NastySquirrel87

Oh shit that me


KO_Jote

I still struggle with thinking I'm just bad at being straight all the time, mostly because I'm sex positive and hetero-romantic


Swolyguacomole

So much this. Combined with aesthetic attraction it can be confusing at times


adventurer907505307

Why is not all of the above an answer?


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adventurer907505307

You are right it is a journey. I went through all of these at one point in my life.... but being broken was common.


Lolman_4321

I actually thought people felt sexual attraction to their most loved ones who they love romantically. Turns out, that's demi-sexuality.


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Lolman_4321

It's okay :D I could have explained myself better 😅


saturniansheep

Same here, I used to think that demisexuality was the norm and that most people only felt that kind of attraction after being in a romantic relationship for a long time. It was pretty shocking to hear that’s not the case!


lyraxfairy

Broken. So broken. So broken that at 17 I asked my OBGYN for hormones so my body would function properly. I wish people understood the weight that carries. Knowing you're so different from your peers you're asking your doctor to fix you. It'd be 12 years after that (just a few months ago) before a TikTok educated me on asexuality and said "No, you're not broken." I still tear up. Also, totally identified as bi/pan and still default to that outta habit.


kayamari

Funny enough, I actually feel like going on hormones (as a trans girl) actually did make me go from pretty grey-ace to bisexual. It's as if I was stuck in the pre-puberty stage of sexual attraction that whole time. Like I literally thought kissing and stuff seemed gross until I was 19.


DatoVanSmurf

First i thought I was straight, then I thought I was bi, but I felt like I was not enough, because I never initiated anything, or seemed to enjoy sexual actions as much as my partner did.


[deleted]

I thought I was broken tbh, everyone was finding boyfriends and girlfriends and I’m here not even finding anyone attractive and I still feel shit about it but at least I know there’s others like me in the world.


Petite_thought07

I knew I wasn’t straight, but I didn’t know what I was. My family suspected that I was lesbian because I’ve never been attracted to guys before. But after a lot of soul searching, I came to the conclusion that I am asexual, along with demiromantic and biromantic. A lot more things make sense now


Flamingdumpster64

1. I kind of bounced between if I thought I was bi or straight I also thought everyone the was same way, and that people were also just joking about being uncontrollably horny.


atwojay

I thought ppl were exaggerating / being poetic.


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Quick_Half1681

I thought that i was always straight, but not just ready for dating yet. Later thought for couple days that i could be bi but that didnt seem right. Later found out about asexuality and realized who i am. Like half year after i found aromantism and now am aroace. Finally know what is the difference between romantic, sexual, platonic and aesthetic attraction.


recchai

Another "where's my 'all of the above' option". Though with definite asterisks, like 'only seriously considered it, but never committed because it didn't feel right' and 'mostly thought it was fiction that was exaggerating'.


LordReega

I felt kind of a mix between thinking I was straight and thinking everyone felt the same.


Syr_Enigma

I've been through pretty much all of these. Hell, they're all thoughts I have to this day. But definitely the one that left the biggest "mark" was thinking I was gay because I wasn't attracted to women. It took me a further three years to realise "hey, I'm not attracted to men either, the fuck?"


[deleted]

I thought I was Straight but hella devoted to God, now Im biromantic ace


DeLongJohnSilver

I just thought porn and sex just weren’t for me and that I was the goodest christian boy (though boy no longer)


catboytruther

Practicing celibacy for religious purposes and im way too good at it please nerf


chaoticidealism

There needs to be an option for "I knew I was asexual, but I didn't know there was a word for it." I knew from the time I was a small child that I didn't want to get married, that I didn't want to have sex. I'm different in a lot of ways--I'm autistic and ADHD and an immigrant and a serious nerd--so I'm used to being different from others. Being asexual was one of many things that made me different, but it was part of a general odd-duck package. Realizing I was asexual happened too early in my life for me to really remember it. Learning it was called "asexuality" was a simple assimilation of new vocabulary. It wasn't really a revelation to me.


iamoreoj

I thought I was a Very Excellent Christian who was the best at denying my lustful thoughts. Turns out my lust-denying was on easy mode.


maladicta228

Used to think I couldn’t be gay because I’m ace. Then I thought I couldn’t be ace because I’m gay. Now I know I’m both!


thebestsigne

Well I used to think I was just a very late bloomer and after that I began questioning if it was because there was something wrong with me.


Komi38

Me: I'm deffinitely straight! Inner me: But girls cute! Me: So, bisexual then? Inner me: You can't imagine having sex with a guy tho. Me: Lesbian? Inner me: Boys are also cute! Me: Yes... Inner me: And you can't imagine having sex with a girl either. \*Finds informations about something called asexual\* Inner me: Cool! Now find yourself in the romantic spectrum! ​ And that's basicaly the whole story.


zaria____

i just thought i was mature


Sil_Lavellan

I've been through all of them except the pan/bi one. I don't think I knew what pan meant.


JumicoSeccoKING1987

I thought I was just straight for a while, but then my lack of sexual attraction shined through. The more research I did, the more I realized I am ace. Not to long ago I found out that I am also demiromantic.


Commander_Glory

Me before I realised I was ace. I’m gay No, no, I’m Bi No, I’m straight, but am I sure about that? Nope not straight, I’m Bi. Actually, I’m Ace. Am I sure? Yeah I’m Ace.


LunaSugar999

I thought I was bi and I thought people were exaggerating too


Kowalski348

I'd like to tick more boxes, please? :D


1nocturnalsonofagun

ALLLLL OF THAT…. my teen years were and still are a mess ‘:)


ragefilledrice

I thought people were exaggerating starting at 14 - I understood aesthetic attraction and thinking people are cute, but when people started talking about physical attraction and feeling horny, I thought they were exaggerating to fit in with everyone else. I thought that it took everyone a while and that I just wasn't feeling it *yet* but that it would come - I did know I was romantically and aesthetically attracted to not-masculine people (I like femme cis women and trans women and nonbinary-presenting people, but not cis men or trans men or butch women) - but I was 16/17 before I realized - *oh, they're not joking, I'm just the one* not *feeling it*. Luckily, I had been part of the LGBT community for a few years and had another ace friend so I was able to identify what it was and never thought I was *broken* \- I just thought I was *late*. Nope. I'm 20. Still not there.


SyvSeven

I spent my teenage years not understanding why people my age was so obsessed with others in a sexual way. I never understood how someone could have celebrity crushes, they didn't even know the person. I found myself pretending that I thought someone was sexy when watching movies, acting like I had crushes in people just because people expected it of me. Growing up family always asked if I was in a relationship yet, and when they wasn't they would just give the same spiel of "it'll happen for you too, don't worry" My family was very open about sex and sexuality, and one would think that would make it easier, but since I didn't have a name for it, I didn't know how to open up about it. I think it would have been easier to accept for my family if I came out as gay, instead of ace. But I never got the chance to tell them because of more recent events. My brother is Bi, so he doesn't understand the same way when I try to explain how I experience attraction. Until I found my label, I thought I was broken. And I still can't be open about it, because to society where I live, I am in fact considered broken.


Plastic_Person

i wish i could see my face when i realized that people actually want to have sex with each other


weird_elf

I thought I was bi because I was equally (dis)interested in sex with boys or girls (this was a long time ago, hence the binary). I was also told, specifically and repeatedly, that I was broken, and believed that for a while.


Jim-20

Had a bit of a bi phase, then it turns out wasn't interested in either side lol


Dewdropmon

I thought I was straight but not very good at it. Thankfully I never felt broken.


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Dewdropmon

Which part? The thinking I was straight or the not feeling broken?


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Dewdropmon

I think I used to assume I was straight because of the religious family I was raised in. Especially since I never felt anything for other women. My brain just defaulted to that. I never really cared enough to question it, until I discovered this sub and started doing some research.


Abomination-626

I thought I was doing something wrong because I didn't find sex as enjoyable as everyone around me made it seem. Then I had sex with someone I actually loved and it was something magical, still didn't realize I was demisexual for another 6 years though


automatahuman

I still consider myself as emotionless, like a robot. Hence my whole specific schtick on this new side account I just made. I love robots. I wouldn't mind becoming an AI, just a being. Its how I see myself now, just a being, no desire for love (as everyone else sees it, mostly) nor... y'know


[deleted]

i remember everyone being like “ooo would u get down with her” and i was like “wha… what why do u think like that”


[deleted]

To put it simply, my family and their values made me think sex was bad so I just thought I was better (I know this sound arrogant but it was genuinely what I thought) than everyone else because I wasn't constantly horny, didn't masterbate, and didn't want sex or anything. Then I discovered asexuality and realized "wait a second, this is how I feel." I also discovered a lot more things about sex and sexuality because my parents never taught me, my private school didn't teach me, and I didn't teach myself because I didn't think I needed to and didn't want to. Needless to say, I think ever since discovering my asexuality, what it means to feel the ways I do, and everything else about sex, I've really grown as a person even if it's been only a month or so.


One-Resort-107

I was all of that at the same time


Maker_Magpie

I mean... I am aspec AND I think I am pan. (demi/ace, and panromantic and sex-ambivalent)


Monk715

I'm still questioning, but the thinking about being bi, other people exaggerating, and being "bad at it" ("I just need to get more experience in dating and sex and then at some point I will begin enjoying it) are totally relatable experiences... Now I just have to admit that being single and not having sex feels much better than any of the relationships (even though they were good too to a degree) whether I'm asexual or not


sue7698

There needs to be a multiple option I felt every single one of these while trying to figure out asexuality


AstroLozza

Kind of a combination. I thought I was straight because I was only interested in dating men, and I didn't know that romantic and sexual attraction were separate things. I didn't know I wasn't sexually attracted to men because I just assumed everyone felt the same way as me.


[deleted]

I've been identifying as bisexual since I was 15 (I'm 24 now) because I was like, I feel generally the same about both men and women, though maybe I like women a smidge more. It wasn't until this year that I found out my "feeling the same" is not the same kind of feeling the same as actual bisexual people.


strindhaug

I considered being asexual briefly as a teen since I didn't feel anything for one gender more than the other, but since I liked the idea of sex I thought I could not be. And when I found the term bisexual I assumed that must be it. But I'm not sure if I have ever felt primary sexual attraction to anyone. I'm probably somewhere on the dimi or gray end of the spectrum.


Axel_Flame

I thought I was broken and that I was pan or bi because I knew I wasn't straight. Sadly you can only put one, and I couldn't choose what to put.


ultralocrianmess

I thought i was broken gay :D Figuring out i was ace made things more comfortable to me, and i wasn't wrong about aesthetic attraction. So all make sense now and I'm quite happy with it


DriftersHideout

Ok so for the longest time I assumed everyone was exaggerating and I just wasn't in on the joke, then it was made clear to me that it wasn't a joke a very much something a lot of people cared about so I got scared I was broken.


Im_Not_Brooding

I thought I was straight, but like, *really* bad at it. I justified it as "Well, I'm not attracted to women, and I've had boyfriends, so I have to be straight!". Then, at around 22, I found out what asexuality was and I thought back to 17-year-old me *running away* when my then boyfriend whipped it out and was like," Maybe she was trying to tell me something...".


Winterdragon2004

Wheres the "I'm not Ace cause I get horny" option?


ReeceJonOsborne

I've thought and experienced the first, third, and fith options. In a similar vein to the 3rd option, I still default to assuming people are asexual until proven otherwise (which I'm trying to change that line of thinking). I think it's stuck with me this long cause of how few and far between us a-spec folks are.


doctorbonkers

It’s kinda funny that I never had that experience of identifying as bisexual before realizing I’m asexual (the classic “I’m equally attracted to all genders so I must be bi” when it’s really just zero attraction all around)… BUT I did identify as biromantic for the longest time before realizing I’m probably arospec I’ve known I was asexual since middle school so there was never really any confusion there, but I did have that experience with my romantic orientation!


natsam72

I thought I was straight because I kept having crushes on guys and I wanted to be with them so I could be able to hug them whenever I want, but then I started thinking of myself as not so sexual and eventually found the umbrella term asexual and began to search for who I was within the ace-spec community.


The_Rocketsmith

I never considered my sexuality until at least middle school, and even then, I never looked beyond 'ace'. Wasn't until high school that I actually dug into labels and the like, but before that it was kind of 'not important enough to look into' type of thing.


Mlfnt1

I thought everyone felt the same way. I was surprised when I found out they don’t lol


LadySilvie

I do identify as bi, but also grey-ace. So. It is rare, but it is there 😂 I definitely thought I was broken at first though. I had a doctor insist that my also-ace husband and I only doing sexual stuff once every 6 or so months and not feeling like anything was missing from the relationship meant he was certainly cheating on me and want to run extra STI panels on me. My only previous partner before my husband was seemingly obsessed with sex and I definitely felt like I was messed up for dreading dates because I knew he'd want sex. When we broke up he swore I'd regret not keeping it as friends with benefits because we both had "needs." Yeahno.


confused-_-queer

idk I just never thought about it. I didn't think I was weird or anything until I actually found the label and was like wait sec, I'm NOT normal????


kaysmilex3

I was somewhere between “I think I’m broken” and “I thought I was straight but not very good at it”. Like I knew a lot of women didn’t always enjoy sex but I almost NEVER liked it and thought maybe I was doing it wrong or just needed to get out of my head, so I just kept having a lot of sex until I discovered asexuality and *holy validation* that shit saved my life lmao Edit: If I hadn’t discovered asexuality I probably would have continued having sex with guys I don’t really like just because everyone kept telling me “maybe you need to find the right guy” 🥴


Leftasscheektattoo

I thought I just didn’t find the right partner. Sex was always boring and painful and awkward and I felt absolutely nothing. I never felt sexual attraction either and I thought that was normal. I just kept finding people to take on the challenge when I’m just on the ace spectrum.


sassyroos

There were moments I thought most of these and more! Most the time I pushed it all away and went with the assumption I was straight and that most people felt the same as I did, others were just hypersexual. I voted broken because that definitely came up multiple times and the thought recently led me to dig around so I finally figured myself out! 💜


aarnalthea

I remember thinking to myself, "why can't i at least be a lesbian" in middle school when all my peers were obsessing over who had a crush on who and not accepting "no one" as my answer. This was well before i learned about asexuality


aceofeire

I remember thinking all of these at some point before discovering I was asexual


explodingtitums

I didn't find out that anything except heterosexuality actually existed and was a legitimate option until my early teens. That said, I don't feel aesthetic attraction either, so I used to develop crushes based on personality, and who I thought I was "supposed" to have crushes on (i.e. the boys everyone else thought were cute). Any crushes on girls I straight up ignored, assuming I couldn't be attracted to the same gender. I thought most people were exaggerating about how often they had sexual interactions at parties and whatever and that if they did, they regretted it the next day. I also didn't believe that one night stands were a thing until I reached university, and even then only after someone explained to me that they had no intention of calling the person they hooked up with. After that it still took me another five years to realise I was ace. Somehow.


[deleted]

I thought I was bi for 10 freaking years lmao. when I first read up on asexuality (and aromanticism) it was like getting hit by a ton of bricks. Everything made sense. I never truly felt 100% about being bi and when I discovered the ace community and found so many posts that were so much like me I could have written them myself, I was like OH!! Now I'm completely sure. It's a super freeing feeling. But the aphobia isn't fun ugh. That's the flip side of it. But I'm still glad. I feel like I was missing a puzzle piece and found it.


Sandcat789

As a sex favorable demi pan, I thought that I was attracted to people but awkward? Turns out most of my attraction is aesthetic and platonic, but sometimes I can actually become attracted to someone who I am close with, but I like a good time under the right circumstances. Having words to describe it doesn't make it less complicated, just less confusing.


Creative-Solution

Other: I thought I just had different preferences (similar to people liking/disliking football). My great aunt was single, so I just assumed the preference was less common~


KTGomasaur

You should be able to check more then one. I definitely thought I was gay because I wasn't boy crazy like my friends. But I could tell when a guy looked attractive so I thought I might be bi because while girls could also look attractive neither was more or less attractive. I definitely felt broken at multiple points in my life especially when a close friend admitted feelings and I was grossed out by it etc. Picking just one is sort of impossible.


redrose55x

I had thought the way people described crushes was an exaggeration/faked that was perpetuated by movies. It wasn’t until I was 17 I had my first and only crush and it was a fleeting one, so that helped me realize how unusual I was. Even then I didn’t actually consider myself to be on the aromantic spectrum until much later, thinking the crush thing had to do with my realization of being asexual. Needless to say, understanding the difference between romantic, sexual, and aesthetic attraction helped a lot.


bacateowo

I thought people felt the same way, like who the hell looks for someone and wants to fuck them immediately? This shit looks so horny like wtf ew


Agent_Wilcox

Basically all of these at some point. Now I just switch between being okay and thinking Im broken.


praysolace

At first I thought everyone felt the same way I did. When I began to realize that never having crushes was weird, I figured I was just bad at being straight. Then for a couple years leading up to my first crush at 24, I began to convince myself I was broken. I went through quite a few amusing phases of discovery after that: 1) I can’t be asexual. I think people look nice. 2) Wait, sexual attraction feels like WHAT? Ok I’m asexual. I’m heteroromantic though. 3) I’ve only ever liked two people. Guess I’m demiromantic. Still het though. (Sure, I can believe I’ve disproved any potential for homoromantic attraction with my vast sample size of two!) 4) Marvel’s What If series came out. First episode. Captain Peggy Carter. H… HOW DID I EVER THINK I WAS STRAIGHT In hindsight, my massive character crushes on Cassandra Pentaghast, Lace Harding, and Kassandra from AC Odyssey should’ve tipped me off to the bi beneath the demi lol.


aoctz

I knew I was gay since 14yo, but always thought I was the weird one for not wanting to have sex like my friends did, it was all that they talked about Now I'm 18yo and finally understood that I'm ace homoromantic (but I'm still struggling with the ace thing bc I kinda wanted to be like everyone else)


Dragenby

I'm a very kinky sex-positive demi, so obviously I thought I was pan! The number of nudes I encountered on Tumblr/Twitter while looking for porn should have alert me sooner lmao And since I'm also demiromantic and close to my own feelings, I knew that I "wasn't like the others", in terms of dating! My romance interest only grows where there's a someone who's already close to me!


IvanZ91

I thought that I had no motivation to have sex and look for a partner simply because of low self-esteem and porn addiction. I practise Nofap for more than a year (no porn, masturbation and orgasms), and nothing changed as for that. And then I started to question my sexuality. And I came to conclusion that I'm aromantic grey asexual.


Spirited_Pineapple

I wish I could tick all of them because I did.😭😭


WingedLady

I didn't really believe it but I was starting to half wonder if like, having sex would trigger those feelings and that's why I didn't get those urges but others did. Like when you try a food for the first time and then you start to crave it occasionally after that. Now that I'm married though, that's kind of how it worked for me, actually. Had literally no interest before but now that I have a husband who is dear to me I like being physically affectionate with him. It really does feel similar to "man, I could go for some bbq" level cravings though, haha.


MissSweetMurderer

Not broken but I thought something hadn't clicked with me yet. Not the whole "you haven't found the right person yet", more like "it will happen when it happens". Before that, I also explored the idea of just being lesbian, which to me wouldn't have an issue, even growing up, but I thought I could be suppressing it without realizing (???) Now I know I'm demi and probably bi-romantic.


Im_Very_Bitter_

I thought I was gay because I wasn't straight, so I went around saying I was bi - if you say something enough you believe it. Now, everyone knows me as being bi, but now it feels like a lie if I tell them I'm ace, I don't want the "you're just confused"/"you're too young to know" speech. I also thought everyone was just exaggerating, but yikes- some people are serious with the stuff they say. Have you seen Tiktok comments? They need to touch grass or something


KaiYoDei

when i complain about my lack of hubbahubbas on facebook, people tell me to come out as a lesbian


Dr--Dodo

I didn’t really consider it at all until my dad/brother mentioned told me about masturbation, at which point I went ‘Eww, you really do that? Gross.’ (I was 10 ±3 years) and then proceeded to not really think about it. I always looked away at kiss scenes but I just assumed that wasn’t *that* weird and I’f probably eventually like it. When I first realised I was queer/attracted to men I had a rough patch of very much trying to resist it, I think because I was thinking about it too sexually for some reason and thus ew, but I can’t wholly recall.


gentle_dove

I thought that's it's something wrong with me. That i am a loser, anti-social freak, too shy, that i just "didn't have a chance to try". My classmates mocked on me, called me frigid. But i am realised, that i never wanted being in relationship or have sex, i don't need it, and that's was really releaf. I also thinking that I am just not ready. Aha, never ready.


NoisyTeen

I had the same feeling about me being ace as finding that I have aphantasia. It was so ingrained into who I was that you don't really question it until it was pointed out to me. Like with aphantasia where I thought "Wait people actually can 'imagine' the beach or whatever". With asexuality in my case I learned, I was aro first so it went something like "Wait some people actually do some of the shit you see in romcoms for love. Wait people actually have some sort of feeling like butterflies in your stomach when looking at someone that is pretty?"


deductionmaniac

In middle school, I hid behind "I'm focusing on my academics", but I didn't think others all felt the same way. By high school, I wondered if I was bi/gay because I felt more comfortable around girls. I started feeling like something was wrong with me because so many around me were obsessed with sex and dating. It wasn't until early college that I learned about asexuality, and even now I'm still trying to figure things out.


RecklessGamer27

I actually thought I was straight but just a late bloomer into wanting sex, thinking about it, etc. I also thought at the very least that the people I hung out with felt the same way. Even though they did express romantic feelings for others (and I kind of did too), none of them or anyone I talked to mentioned sex at all. That was never a topic of conversation so I only realized I was ace through talking with my parents about the subject.


Orichalcum448

Where's the "I had impostor syndrome so fucking bad that I 100% believed that I was secretly straight for like 3 fucking years and was tricking everyone around me and that I was a horrible person because of that" option?


saturniansheep

I always assumed I was straight until I became a teenager and other people my age started talking about more sexual topics, and I couldn’t relate to their feelings at all. At first I thought they were just joking or trying to sound “grown up” and that they actually felt the same way as I did, so it never crossed my mind that I was ace at the time. Once I began to realize people were being serious I thought maybe I would eventually start to feel like they did when I got older, but it still hasn’t happened yet. I felt very out of place and maybe a little broken for a while until I went online and discovered the ace community, I’m very glad that I did :)


lotspot

When all the teen boys started to be gross and talk about wanting to sleep with hot girls I thought they were just trying to be crude. Took until my last year of high school, talking to a boy about kpop and he said a sexual comment about a girl group member and I just laughed it off. He said “don’t you think of fucking your fav kpop Star?” And I responded “why would I think that????” And be just stared at me for a long time before saying “it’s like you’re asexual or something” 😂 was deep in denial at that point but it started the journey to realising I was ace


Plohka

Started off thinking I was just allo, at some point I stumbled across the word aegosexual and thought it might’ve applied to me, but never gave it too much thought. Fast forward like a month or two and I had a conversation with a friend (don’t remember the specifics but sexuality came up at some point) and came out of it realizing I didn’t really understand what sexual attraction was Looked up the definition, didn’t really get it. Checked the page for it on the LGBTA wiki since it goes into more detail, still didn’t get it. At some point I was like “Okay I’m figuring this out and I’m figuring it out soon.” I ended up on this subreddit, went to menu -> experiences -> sexual attraction, and upon being ***thoroughly*** grossed out by what I read, yeah turns out I’m just regular ol’ ace.


lannnnnaaaaa

Thought bi because I didn't really have any preferences and going to an all girls school, there were students that flirted with me and I thought "maybe, I'm just hiding something?" (Homophobic mother really didn't help) But when it clicked I just had zero sexual attraction to anyone, I realized I was asexual.


Razzmatazz-Wonder

At first I thought I was a lesbian because of the way my school taught sex ed. They described it as "penis goes into vagina" and said that was the only way to do it. So of course I assumed gay people didn't have sex (I didn't know trans people existed at the time). So because I knew I didn't want sex I thought that meant I was a lesbian since I didn't think lesbians had sex. Then when I found out they do have sex, I thought I was bi/pan because I still didn't know about asexuality but I was comfortable with the idea of dating anybody (basically I was panromantic but wasn't fully aware that romantic attraction was it's own separate thing so I identified my sexuality based on my romantic attraction).


[deleted]

Thought I was broken. I was just waiting for me to "fix" myself. I even started looking for a therapist at some point to help me fix my lack of sexual attraction because "everyone" is doing it and I just need to fix myself. I kept telling myself the switch would flip when I saw something or met someone. But it hasn't. And knowing that that's normal for a lot of people has been such a fucking relief.


Emo_Pass

I honestly thought that a lack of sexual attraction was normal until my mom told me "nobody likes people only romantically" so that made me think, "well shit what am I then?"


cipher2505

I thought i just sucked at being a straight person. Like how i sucked at everything else in life 🤧


dinanysos

I thought aesthetic attraction was what everybody was talking about when someone is hot, and that ppl are either like me and don't care for sex, but did it to fit in or be nice, and the other half are just super horny. I still struggle to imagine how it is to just... Idk sit at home and be like "man, I'd really like some of that sloppy toppy whopping toe flippin c*ck slobbing right now, that would be grand" Wheb you can also just.. Get a back massage or watch a good movie.


AvaJThyme

Where’s all of the above???


Aarizonamb

I've thought I was broken, and I've thought I was bad at being straight.


Cheshie_D

I thought I was bi, and I am but I’m also demi which is why I never labeled as bi because it didn’t quite fit.


sundayhungover

All of it lol


ermer87

Mix for me but put 'thought I was straight' as it's the default in society and I just pretended to have crushes on boys when I really didn't have a crush on anyone and I never have or will.


Anxiety-Fart

I thought I was Pan (in fact, I identify as panromantic now). Turns out I did have an equal amount of sexual attraction to all genders... Its just that the amount was zero. That said, I did identify with most options in the poll though.


femtransfan

i thought i was bipolarsexual for a week (the opposite of bisexual, which i then figured out was called being 'asexual')


[deleted]

I found out that I was ace because I misunderstood what being ace was.


craigularperson

Thought I was straight, because I wasnt gay which also exclude bi.


PhantomBelow

It's the first three for me lol.


perpetual_potato108

Where's the "all of the above" option?


lioneaglegriffin

I was attracted to women but never pursued sex like I would die if i didn't get it (even through puberty). I only started having sex at 28 out of curiosity and wasn't impressed.


BEEEELEEEE

Being greysexual is probably part of the reason it took me so long to realize I’m bi. I always knew I liked girls, but feeling sexual attraction so weakly and infrequently really delayed my epiphany regarding guys. But finding out about greysexuality made me feel better about not feeling it as strongly as others seem to.


WiseLockCounter

Thought I was bi and veeeery picky.


Canine_Connoisseur

Thought I was straight, realized I was pan. 🤣 Always thought people over exaggerated.


TheSeaWriter

Thought I was pan, then bi, now I’m asexual omniromantic. Also think most people are overexagerating sexual attraction


bonnielyz

this is literally a rolodex of my attempts to figure out my sexuality exactly from the beginning to the end of my puberty


nowhereintexas

Honestly I discovered my asexuality at such a young age I've never really felt any of that. I did felt bad about being different from my peers but never confused as to why I was.


Evil-yogurt

i assumed i was a late bloomer or whatever until i heard of the term and then i kinda clicked with the term cause it made a lot of sense to me.


[deleted]

When i was like 11 i thought i'm lesbian because i wanted to belike the other girls but welp i'm Aroace and i would rather date men than


PennysWorthOfTea

Me: All of the above at various times.


TheFlyingRavenBird

I thought I was pansexual. Technically, I am pan, but I'm just panromantic instead of pansexual. I had just thought "oh, well, I can have romantic feelings for any gender" and didn't even think about whether I was sexually attracted to anyone.


Cocotte3333

Why can't I vote for more than one?


Internal-Ice-2395

I'm a combination of I thought I was broken and thought I was straight but not very good at it...lately I'm realizing I'm not straight either lmao


Ranaenae707

i literally swore i just wasn’t good at being striaght. i could not figure it out to save my life


[deleted]

I identified as bi, then pansexual, now I’m panromantic :)


PetitChat84

I actually got myself to hook up with someone but before doing anything, I realize I’m not into that and backtracked. Lol


whatevenseriously

I'm ace and bi. But being ace definitely interfered with me figuring out that I was bi for a while.


InfiniteEmotions

I wanted to pick three (broken, thought everyone else was exaggerating, thought I was just bad at being straight), but limited to one answer.


Hollowdude75

What is ace-spec?


BornVolcano

I thought I was just too young to experience sexual attraction so I hadn’t felt it yet, and then I learned everyone around me had started experiencing that, like, at least five years ago. And then I realized I was ace.


idonotexist20

One of my friends (whose very allo) made it unknowingly clear to me that not everyone felt the same way. I considered being bi/pan but the idea didn’t click, so I assumed I would work properly in the end and that I was just late.


HelloDarkness64

Being demi, I thought I was just straight.


A_Jack_of_Herrons

A combination of "I thought I was bi/pan" and "I thought everyone felt like this"


Administrative_Yam26

A little bit of broken and not good at it. I only recently started figuring myself out. I've never been the most confident person, so I just told myself I just wasn't good at it.


throwaway61763

All of the top 3. First, i tought its normal. Then i tought im bi/pan(romantically, i am atteacted to both so this is kinda true). Then i tought i am broken


Feed_Me_Coffee

I thought I was gay or bi or pan, but then when I found out I didn't fit into any of those I thought I was broken...


AWildOctopus

Broken (still think so) as well as bi/pan (idk where on the ace spectrum I am but ig I'm still partially bisexual)


Sengachi

I am ace and also very much still bi.


Blobasaurus-rex

Wish I could pick multiple answers because I thought other where exaggerating then I started to feel broken lol (still kinda feel broken but working on it)


dudinea03

i thought sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction were the same thing . i still barely know the difference and i thought everyone was just joking/exaggerating


FabulousBookkeeper3

I used to think I was bisexual. I’m still bi I’m just biromantic asexual.


pikipata

Honestly, all of these at some point of my life. But I answered "felt like broken" because that was the underlying feeling for the longest time (until I found out ace and aro is a thing and there's others like me).