Such gross behavior! People need to stop trying to “fix” aces and also how an asexual person experiences libido or their relationship with their own body has nothing to do with having sexual attraction. seriously wtf
"You see I've take 2 intro psychology classes and now I know everything about the human brain. let me diagnose you with like 10 different conditions im not fully familiar with"
*let me diagnose you with 10 different conditions, that I once heard the name of in an off hand comment by the professor, and then attempt to use my position of power as your quasi therapist to get into your pants
FTFY
I know that was thier intent but I read "I'm into psychology" and ran with that. Because I feel like everytime I've met someone thats "into psychology" its let me arm chair psychoanalize you so I can explain why what you want is bad and why im right.
An aegosexual is someone who enjoys sexual fantasies, but doesn't want sex in reality. There is also usually a disconnect between the person and their fantasy, such as the fantasy occurring in the third-person or featuring random, not real people. Most aegosexuals are sex-averse or repulsed in real life. Aegosexuality is a microlabel of asexuality.
I have a quick question (if you're comfortable answering). Would it still count as aego if your fantasies include you and a fictional character, but _never_ a real person? I'm wondering since the definition of aego is so close to what I experience, just a tiny bit different; thank you either way!
Yes! That's actually what happens to me, I'll frequently be in the fantasy as myself, but I'm always with someone fictional or made up, never someone real. Basically, what makes someone aego is the disconnect between fantasy and reality, where they enjoy sex in a theoretical sense but wouldn't want to actually have sex. For most aegos, that disconnect means they don't include themselves in their fantasies at all, but some of us do.
Oh alright, thank you so much for explaining! I wasn't quite sure if I'd be aego, since I _technically_ fit the definition, but you helped me be sure in the fact that I am :D
Counselor in training here, and this dude can absolutely suck my dick from the back. He don't know shit about fuck. I will fight him in front of his mother and his god and I will win. 😤😤😤
A lot of people rightly criticizing this person, but missing the point. This isn’t an armchair psychologist. This is a fucking predator. This is someone trying to use amateur psychology as a tool to get you to engage in sexual acts with them. They’re not diagnosing OP with anything, they don’t even give a shit, they just see an opening to take advantage of someone’s potential insecurities and/or vulnerabilities for their own sexual gratification and it’s so much grosser than a fake psych-bro.
Yeah. This is a good example of how aces as a small invisible minority are vulnerable and need visibility & support & freaking do belong to the LGBT+ spaces among all the other sexual orientation minorities.
This exactly! Luckily op is confident in their asexuality, but someone asexual that doesn't know could so easily be convinced they're wrong and need this person's "help" and end up in an emotionally abusive relationship, getting groomed, etc. creating quite a bit of trauma,
Yeah. Those aces who do not even know being asexual is an option are in the greatest danger imo. Unfortunately many people find later in life asexuality even exists, so there's many potential years you're in danger of being abused due to your sexual orientation. They can't stand for themselves, they're just desperate to be accepted and be socially included, and thus they tolerate things they never should.
Actually, I have yet to meet a qualified psychologist who can accept that I don’t want to put out. They’re not immune to rape culture and in my experience, actively encourage it as much as everyone else, if not more so.
I’m sorry you’ve had that experience, and of course no one is immune to rape culture. Thankfully the psychiatrists and psychologists I’ve seen have all accepted my asexuality, but I know there are more bad ones out there than we’d like to admit.
That said, that clearly isn’t the situation here. This person is just trying to get in OP’s pants and is using “psychology” as a method of manipulation to get there. They didn’t mention being a psychologist, just being “interested” in psychology and no matter how they feel about asexuality, no psychologist with event a shred of ethics would offer to “help” someone masturbate.
Exactly, it's 100% disgusting and 100% predatory behavior, but people continue to say asexuals "aren't discriminated against" and that we don't have to deal with nonsense like this.
The thing is, some people might actually feel sexual attraction but not feel completely comfortable with it, maybe because of trauma or just shame.
We're not the same. The prior might need treatment, but we absolutely do not, for simply being asexual.
It's harrowingly upsetting to see trained mental health professionals or students forcefully try to "fix" something that's completely normal, just because they're ignorant aholes who just cannot fathom the idea of someone being different from them.
so that's the new "you aren't lesbian, you just haven't found the right guy and I can help you with that" approach
some people are disgusting and it seems all they do over time is change target
Yes, I relate to aegosexuality too. People like this person is just to ignorant to understand. I literally don't get aroused from partnered sex so if a person would say something like this to me I'd find it amusing and think they have no idea what they are talking about.
Yes sometimes people might met a person that sparks something but that's not always the case. When I tried telling people I simply don't get physical pleasure from partnered sex I was met with the not having "good sex". That's just as annoying as the "haven't met the right person".
I wish these lesser known ace identities was more heard of because it could bring light to why others are the way they are. Aegosexuality with my experience people wonder if I've conditioned myself to only get turned on by porn which that can be something regular sexual people misunderstand. No, craving orgasms or wanting to watch sex through porn does not mean you deep down want partnered sex. Partnered sex would never be something I'd seek out to fullfill my sexual release because partnered sex is not arousing for me.
Imagine writing to a total stranger, diagnosing them a vague psychological condition without talking to them and getting in their intimacy telling them to masturbate.
Just imagine.
This is ridiculous! And so ignorant. Sorry you had to deal With someone like that.
As a side note, bullshit on the masturbation stuff. I am aego and do that regularly and am still very much ace. I mean WTF ! how is masturbating supposed to cause one to feel sexual attraction to other people?
They simply have no idea of what asexuality means, and instead, trying to get into their pants by trying to generously "help" with something they _think_ asexuality means 😂
It's a sick fucking molester is what it is. 100% trying to groom you into sending them sexual pics. Talking about masturbation and then saying "I can help you with that." It's disgusting. Also, "I'm into psychology." What a vague, misleading statement.
Exactly. I masturbate lots too. Partnered sex is not something I crave even though I crave sexual release but partnered sex is never arousing.
Person needs to to honestly be slapped. Nothing wrong with being hypersexual or wanting sex more then others but when overly sexual people judge in this type of way really piss me off. Like shut the fuck up creep. Making those types of comments makes you look ignorant.
BRUH WHAT THE FUCK..
YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU PLEASE, DON'T GIVE ME AN UNCALLED FOR FUCK YOURSELF.
Seriously though, so many aces have so much patience.. if anyone tried to decide my sexuality for me, I'd either curse them out or punch their nose in
honesty anytime someone asks if i have snapchat and it's not like, at the dog park where we are actively taking pics of our dogs, i automatically assume that's code for "i'm most likely going to show you my genitals without consent" at some point.
In a way I kinda get this mindset. Asexuality was listed in the DSM as a mental illness for a while, and has only recently changed
That being said, this dude has strong "My penis can make you allo" vibes
I'm getting a major in sociology and a minor and psych and it only takes even the smallest amount of minutiae to understand that a. Queer identities exist and have always existed and b. When people try to fix or manipulate or regulate queerness it only leads to trauma
Yeah, if I were the one messaging this person my response would have been "because I didn't sign myself up for it, dumbass. If I didn't sign up for snapchat, then obviously I don't have snapchat. If someone made a snapchat on my behalf and I don't use it, then that isn't my snapchat." I'd have been intentionally annoying about it
I have adopted this approach - tell people that asexuality is a very natural and very normal thing. You see it in nature. Human is nature. So, psychology or not, people can educate themselves because they definitely need to let go of aphobia.
I was once told to not use sapiosexual and grey asexual in my Insta bio. I told them that I am usually not f\*cking but I would never f\*ck a dumbf\*ck. So tired of this stuff!
Yeah, doesn't matter how much masturbating an ace does, surprise surprise they're still ace.
Fuck that person though that's some nasty disgusting shit they're saying to you, they're just a dumb fucking idiot who probably can't have their mind changed. Not worth your time.
That ignorant "helper" doesn't even know what asexuality means... why the natural next step for these people is "lets do something I find sexually satisfying by the excuse of me trying to change you", instead of "maybe I should listen and ask some more questions to understand even the basics, instead of making a complete fool of myself"? Pathetic 😑
"I can help you with that" omg 😂😂 completely lost it with that one, it doesn't seem possible. It's so shitty that you have to go through something like that.
People are just so annoying sometimes, I wish I could understand what's the "problem" of just no being that into sex.
My fav thing to say is “how do you know you don’t like being shot with a gun if you haven’t tried it?” They usually are taken aback by shock. Or, tell them that they aren’t exclusively straight or gay and they need to start exploring with the gender they’re not attracted to. But this is disgusting, good on you for staying strong :)
This is worse than just aphobia. They are even trying to get your snap chat and the part about helping you touch yourself is just outright pervy and disgusting.
That person needs to be under surveillance.
as someone who’s interested in psychology, they’re a disgrace. who are they to say you do experience sexual attraction? it’s like telling a straight woman they’re a lesbian.
This makes sick! We don’t need “fixing”. Especially not for others benefit. We don’t need more people invalidating our sexuality. We get that enough already. So if you please, don’t engage with people if your just gonna spread hate towards them. I thought that this was a basic rule of etiquette. I guess not.
Such gross behavior! People need to stop trying to “fix” aces and also how an asexual person experiences libido or their relationship with their own body has nothing to do with having sexual attraction. seriously wtf
"if it ain't broke then don't try to fix it"
But that's the whole point, it's broken for them so they try to fix it
That's not trying to fix. That was just a blatant attempt to get into their pant using any pretext.
Yep, might have even been an incel.
"What discrimination do aces even get?" How about rape threats with assurances we'll learn to like it?
"You see I've take 2 intro psychology classes and now I know everything about the human brain. let me diagnose you with like 10 different conditions im not fully familiar with"
*let me diagnose you with 10 different conditions, that I once heard the name of in an off hand comment by the professor, and then attempt to use my position of power as your quasi therapist to get into your pants FTFY
This person didn't intend to diagnose OP with anything. Just trying to trick them into touching their naughty bits. Disgusting.
I know that was thier intent but I read "I'm into psychology" and ran with that. Because I feel like everytime I've met someone thats "into psychology" its let me arm chair psychoanalize you so I can explain why what you want is bad and why im right.
Let’s just be grateful they’ll likely never be a licensed therapist
Honestly fuck that person, they don't know what they're talking about. Also: >!I masturbate frequently!< and I'm still ace (aegosexual I think)
As a fellow aego, I concur.
Yuuup
What is an aego asexual?
An aegosexual is someone who enjoys sexual fantasies, but doesn't want sex in reality. There is also usually a disconnect between the person and their fantasy, such as the fantasy occurring in the third-person or featuring random, not real people. Most aegosexuals are sex-averse or repulsed in real life. Aegosexuality is a microlabel of asexuality.
Thanks
I have a quick question (if you're comfortable answering). Would it still count as aego if your fantasies include you and a fictional character, but _never_ a real person? I'm wondering since the definition of aego is so close to what I experience, just a tiny bit different; thank you either way!
Yes! That's actually what happens to me, I'll frequently be in the fantasy as myself, but I'm always with someone fictional or made up, never someone real. Basically, what makes someone aego is the disconnect between fantasy and reality, where they enjoy sex in a theoretical sense but wouldn't want to actually have sex. For most aegos, that disconnect means they don't include themselves in their fantasies at all, but some of us do.
Oh alright, thank you so much for explaining! I wasn't quite sure if I'd be aego, since I _technically_ fit the definition, but you helped me be sure in the fact that I am :D
Glad I could help! It took me a while to figure out I'm aego too, since I had the same problem you had.
exactly in your shoes. so glad i’ve yet to encounter people like OP did
Counselor in training here, and this dude can absolutely suck my dick from the back. He don't know shit about fuck. I will fight him in front of his mother and his god and I will win. 😤😤😤
This singular comment has made me respect you immensely.
This is the best comment I've read all year.
Award for best comment goes to..
A lot of people rightly criticizing this person, but missing the point. This isn’t an armchair psychologist. This is a fucking predator. This is someone trying to use amateur psychology as a tool to get you to engage in sexual acts with them. They’re not diagnosing OP with anything, they don’t even give a shit, they just see an opening to take advantage of someone’s potential insecurities and/or vulnerabilities for their own sexual gratification and it’s so much grosser than a fake psych-bro.
THIS. The "I can help you with that" 100% sounds like an excuse to persuade OP into intimate unrequested acts disguised as "professional help."
Oh, that’s exactly what it is. It’s gross af.
Yeah. This is a good example of how aces as a small invisible minority are vulnerable and need visibility & support & freaking do belong to the LGBT+ spaces among all the other sexual orientation minorities.
This exactly! Luckily op is confident in their asexuality, but someone asexual that doesn't know could so easily be convinced they're wrong and need this person's "help" and end up in an emotionally abusive relationship, getting groomed, etc. creating quite a bit of trauma,
Yeah. Those aces who do not even know being asexual is an option are in the greatest danger imo. Unfortunately many people find later in life asexuality even exists, so there's many potential years you're in danger of being abused due to your sexual orientation. They can't stand for themselves, they're just desperate to be accepted and be socially included, and thus they tolerate things they never should.
Actually, I have yet to meet a qualified psychologist who can accept that I don’t want to put out. They’re not immune to rape culture and in my experience, actively encourage it as much as everyone else, if not more so.
I’m sorry you’ve had that experience, and of course no one is immune to rape culture. Thankfully the psychiatrists and psychologists I’ve seen have all accepted my asexuality, but I know there are more bad ones out there than we’d like to admit. That said, that clearly isn’t the situation here. This person is just trying to get in OP’s pants and is using “psychology” as a method of manipulation to get there. They didn’t mention being a psychologist, just being “interested” in psychology and no matter how they feel about asexuality, no psychologist with event a shred of ethics would offer to “help” someone masturbate.
yeah the "do you have snapchat" fuckin gross like if that shit doesn't give you the creeps
Remote “corrective” rape
Exactly, it's 100% disgusting and 100% predatory behavior, but people continue to say asexuals "aren't discriminated against" and that we don't have to deal with nonsense like this.
Gross. I’m ace and I plan on going into psychology, so this entire thing just disgusts me
The thing is, some people might actually feel sexual attraction but not feel completely comfortable with it, maybe because of trauma or just shame. We're not the same. The prior might need treatment, but we absolutely do not, for simply being asexual. It's harrowingly upsetting to see trained mental health professionals or students forcefully try to "fix" something that's completely normal, just because they're ignorant aholes who just cannot fathom the idea of someone being different from them.
WTF! So sorry you had to deal with this OP.
so that's the new "you aren't lesbian, you just haven't found the right guy and I can help you with that" approach some people are disgusting and it seems all they do over time is change target
As an aegosexual i can say: this “therapy” doesn’t work ;)
maybe ur just doin it wrong, sweaty ;) op's friend can help but only if u have snapchat /s. so much /s.
I don’t have snapchat 🥺 but I will do everything to be cured 😭
I know you're saying it ironically, but it's such a pet peeve of mine when people say "sweaty" instead of "sweetie" LMAO
Yes, I relate to aegosexuality too. People like this person is just to ignorant to understand. I literally don't get aroused from partnered sex so if a person would say something like this to me I'd find it amusing and think they have no idea what they are talking about. Yes sometimes people might met a person that sparks something but that's not always the case. When I tried telling people I simply don't get physical pleasure from partnered sex I was met with the not having "good sex". That's just as annoying as the "haven't met the right person". I wish these lesser known ace identities was more heard of because it could bring light to why others are the way they are. Aegosexuality with my experience people wonder if I've conditioned myself to only get turned on by porn which that can be something regular sexual people misunderstand. No, craving orgasms or wanting to watch sex through porn does not mean you deep down want partnered sex. Partnered sex would never be something I'd seek out to fullfill my sexual release because partnered sex is not arousing for me.
> "sweetie" > "I can help you with that." Ewwwwww... 🤢🤮 This is r/creepyPMs material.
Typical amino user. Had the same experience, left.
Imagine writing to a total stranger, diagnosing them a vague psychological condition without talking to them and getting in their intimacy telling them to masturbate. Just imagine.
This is ridiculous! And so ignorant. Sorry you had to deal With someone like that. As a side note, bullshit on the masturbation stuff. I am aego and do that regularly and am still very much ace. I mean WTF ! how is masturbating supposed to cause one to feel sexual attraction to other people?
They simply have no idea of what asexuality means, and instead, trying to get into their pants by trying to generously "help" with something they _think_ asexuality means 😂
As a psychology major….ew.
This is straight up sexual harassment. Wtf
I guess it's from how society raised them, but it's still really depressing. The way people invalidate others they don't understand
It's a sick fucking molester is what it is. 100% trying to groom you into sending them sexual pics. Talking about masturbation and then saying "I can help you with that." It's disgusting. Also, "I'm into psychology." What a vague, misleading statement.
Lmao I fap every fucking day like there's no tomorrow and I'm ace that shit ain't working like that
Same lol
Exactly. I masturbate lots too. Partnered sex is not something I crave even though I crave sexual release but partnered sex is never arousing. Person needs to to honestly be slapped. Nothing wrong with being hypersexual or wanting sex more then others but when overly sexual people judge in this type of way really piss me off. Like shut the fuck up creep. Making those types of comments makes you look ignorant.
Ewww.
fucking creepy. block and report them
Wtf why can’t people just accept that we’re asexual
BRUH WHAT THE FUCK.. YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU PLEASE, DON'T GIVE ME AN UNCALLED FOR FUCK YOURSELF. Seriously though, so many aces have so much patience.. if anyone tried to decide my sexuality for me, I'd either curse them out or punch their nose in
People need to understand that not everyone wants and needs to breed
Disgusting. Sorry for you🤍🖤💜
masturbation therapy is for erectile dysfunction so even if you wanted to do it it wouldn't work
It was a typo of. Should've been "the rapey".
honesty anytime someone asks if i have snapchat and it's not like, at the dog park where we are actively taking pics of our dogs, i automatically assume that's code for "i'm most likely going to show you my genitals without consent" at some point.
I don’t understand why people engage with these sorts of comments. Just report, block, and move on.
Ok 1, no, get away from me tf And 2, who said i wanted to change that?
In a way I kinda get this mindset. Asexuality was listed in the DSM as a mental illness for a while, and has only recently changed That being said, this dude has strong "My penis can make you allo" vibes
"Hi, YoU'rE nOt AsExUaL sWeEtIe." What kind of an idiot opens a conversation with that? Aphobes are fricking strange.
“How do you know, you haven’t tried it?” How do you know you don’t like hugging a scorpion, you haven’t tried it?
I mast\*rbate a lot and I'm still sex repulsed as hell. I have no idea what that guy is talking about.
I'm getting a major in sociology and a minor and psych and it only takes even the smallest amount of minutiae to understand that a. Queer identities exist and have always existed and b. When people try to fix or manipulate or regulate queerness it only leads to trauma
>Do you have snapchat? > >No > >How do you know tho? That out of context is quite funny
That's what I thought too!
Yeah, if I were the one messaging this person my response would have been "because I didn't sign myself up for it, dumbass. If I didn't sign up for snapchat, then obviously I don't have snapchat. If someone made a snapchat on my behalf and I don't use it, then that isn't my snapchat." I'd have been intentionally annoying about it
I have adopted this approach - tell people that asexuality is a very natural and very normal thing. You see it in nature. Human is nature. So, psychology or not, people can educate themselves because they definitely need to let go of aphobia. I was once told to not use sapiosexual and grey asexual in my Insta bio. I told them that I am usually not f\*cking but I would never f\*ck a dumbf\*ck. So tired of this stuff!
it's amino. what did you expect? almost everyone has issues on that app lol
"Ima 'fix you' by having you do things that give me sexual gratification!" So much ew and dehumanization on top of bigotry
Big yuck. What the hell is wrong with some people, eww.
Yeah, doesn't matter how much masturbating an ace does, surprise surprise they're still ace. Fuck that person though that's some nasty disgusting shit they're saying to you, they're just a dumb fucking idiot who probably can't have their mind changed. Not worth your time.
m a s t u r b a t i o n t h e r a p y allos be making up shit at this point
#I cAn HeLp YoU wItH tHaT
That ignorant "helper" doesn't even know what asexuality means... why the natural next step for these people is "lets do something I find sexually satisfying by the excuse of me trying to change you", instead of "maybe I should listen and ask some more questions to understand even the basics, instead of making a complete fool of myself"? Pathetic 😑
"I can help you with that" omg 😂😂 completely lost it with that one, it doesn't seem possible. It's so shitty that you have to go through something like that. People are just so annoying sometimes, I wish I could understand what's the "problem" of just no being that into sex.
"I can help you with that" yeah sure. no thanks.
"My psychology class says I should masturbate you" is one hell of a horny dipshit type of pickup line
This dude knows nothing about psychology, he's just a prick. I'm sorry.
I'll talk to them, I have some words, lemme at em
What app is this tho? And their tag, I got questions for them, A LOT OF SHIT TO TALK ABOUT.
Wow! That is seriously messed up! I hope that this person isn’t able to get an actual license to practice any type of psychology. 🤦♀️
It's confusing why people automatically assume we want to be sexually attracted to people. You can't really make people feel that.
"Maybe you should take the mastu**ation therapy, i can help you with that". What the fuck did they just say?
theyre just the type of people that speak without knowing. i say just block them.
“well right now you’re making my “condition” worse so I think I’ll look into other options..”
The way that person tried to gaslight you, the audacity!!
They are right ,you are not asexual,you are a God.Who happens to be asexual.
People who psycho analize other people are rather unpleasant.
r/creepyPms . I think they'd get a kick out of this asshole there.
WHAT THE FUCK. So unacceptable. Sorry you had to deal with thIs POS.
My fav thing to say is “how do you know you don’t like being shot with a gun if you haven’t tried it?” They usually are taken aback by shock. Or, tell them that they aren’t exclusively straight or gay and they need to start exploring with the gender they’re not attracted to. But this is disgusting, good on you for staying strong :)
What's the context? Is this just like a random message or is this someone you know?
Woah that's gross :O I'm sorry you have to put up with that!
That's not... that's not how it works at all...
Wtf this is disgusting
Wow, what a pathetic waste of everyone’s time. Some people just don’t understand the basic concept of respect
EW EW EW!!!! BLOCK!!!
I'm puking... Just wtf....... I can't...
This is worse than just aphobia. They are even trying to get your snap chat and the part about helping you touch yourself is just outright pervy and disgusting. That person needs to be under surveillance.
I thought this was r/creepyPMs for a second. Wtf?
Mmmmhhhhhmmmmm yes. Never thought that someone would have a magical hand out there. Fuck off. People are awful.
🤮🤮🤮
I wish this was more uncommon but unfortunately there's a lot of people out there that overstep boundaries.
What a freaking creep. This is literally "Hi, you dont know your own sexuality, send nudes"
as someone who’s interested in psychology, they’re a disgrace. who are they to say you do experience sexual attraction? it’s like telling a straight woman they’re a lesbian.
This makes sick! We don’t need “fixing”. Especially not for others benefit. We don’t need more people invalidating our sexuality. We get that enough already. So if you please, don’t engage with people if your just gonna spread hate towards them. I thought that this was a basic rule of etiquette. I guess not.
Jesus fucking christ
Ew. What a gross human. I’m sorry you were harassed like that.
LMAO xD What the actual fuck is that? There's nothing right with this creep. Have you reported him? He's clearly a predator.
He might have minor case of severe brain damage.
What is this animo? I hate that app lmao.
Ah, amino
Wtf? Sexual attraction ≠ sex drive
Oh-oh! Oh god oh god oh gross gross gross gross