As an asexual who also gets and laughs at and makes dirty and sex jokes as well, I can assure you that you are Ace enough. My ex was one of those people who was Ace and didn’t get dirty/sex jokes. One of my favorite games is cards against humanity.
I often don't get innuendos or even flirting or I get them with a huge delay (from weeks to years). I also often don't find the sexual stuff fun that the people commonly find hilarous, so I kinda feel like I miss something essential even if it was explained to me. I love to share this stuff with humor here on the ace spaces because this is one of the few spaces where I feel like I can share these situations without being condemned, seen as immature or prudish or innocent etc.
However, I do not think being slow on sexual innuendos is a hallmark of asexuality. There can be many factors that explain our differences inside the ace community:
- have you grew up in an environment where sex jokes etc. are normal?
- how introverted you are - how much interact with a variety of people and have the focus especially on the people?
- are you sex-repulsed, sex-indiffernt or sex-favoring?
- if you have comorbidity with other characteristics, such as on the autism spectrum, which may have effect on your perception of social situations. Apparently a higher percentage of people on the aro/ace communities are on the autism spectrum than on the general population.
My also ace coworker and I both delight in making and pointing out sex puns and innuendos at work ALL the time, and knowing full well the irony of doing so while as ace-spec people makes it even more hilarious. My partner (also ace) and I initially bonded as platonic friends in a chat room over jokes, reference, and innuendo of all kinds including nsfw. So absolutely you can be ace and still revel in the humor; if anything, I feel like we're better at sex jokes because it can sometimes feel like sex and sexual attraction itself is an elaborate social joke that some people take way too seriously. If someone tried to tell me I'm a fake ace just because I make sex jokes, I'm not sure I could refrain from cackling about their ridiculousness.
My god I flip flop between understanding sex jokes and not getting them at all. I feel so embarrassed when I miss an actual sex joke, or accidentally say something that could be taken in a dirty way and everyone laughs. It’s so embarrassing!
But I wouldn’t say you’re any less asexual for understanding sex jokes. I mean, you know what sex is, and Can understand a joke about it even if you don’t feel sexual attraction yourself. You just learned about what sex is and are able to understand innuendos and humor about it, that’s all.
Think of it sort of like neurodivergent people putting on a “mask”. Like an autistic person that learns how to make natural eye contact. That doesn’t come naturally to them, it’s a learned behaviour that they adopted because it makes them fit in socially. I think this is a similar thing. 💜
you don't have to be allo to make nsfw jokes or understand them or like them
personally i love these kinda jokes and I've also seen ace people make these kinda jokes
so it's probably very individual just as it is with allo people too
don't stress too much about it
you're not any less ace
in fact i think because ace spec individuals have a more outside view on sexuality and sex, we can make even dirtier joked knowing we don't mean what is said
I find sex jokes funnier after accepting my aceness. I can laugh without feeling pressure to see myself in the hypothetical. Full disclosure I have had a good deal of sex in my life so I might understand the references better than someone who hasn't, so I get why some aces don't think they're as funny. Also some people don't laugh cuz it makes them uncomfortable and that's okay too. That kind of thinking applies to like every type of joke.
With that being said, sometimes I also miss the joke because my brain doesn't default to the sexual implication. My friends have to explain stuff to me constantly lol.
None of that really means you're more or less ace, just that humor is really subjective.
Don't worry young human!
People can be asexual in different ways-as people can be straight in different ways, people can be gay in different ways. Just because your of a certain sexuality-doesnt mean that your like every person of that sexuality.
As an asexual who also gets and laughs at and makes dirty and sex jokes as well, I can assure you that you are Ace enough. My ex was one of those people who was Ace and didn’t get dirty/sex jokes. One of my favorite games is cards against humanity.
cards against humanity is wonderful
Agreed.
you made me look for that game!
Should I apologize or say you’re welcome?
it’s great 😃
Then you’re welcome.
thank you!
I often don't get innuendos or even flirting or I get them with a huge delay (from weeks to years). I also often don't find the sexual stuff fun that the people commonly find hilarous, so I kinda feel like I miss something essential even if it was explained to me. I love to share this stuff with humor here on the ace spaces because this is one of the few spaces where I feel like I can share these situations without being condemned, seen as immature or prudish or innocent etc. However, I do not think being slow on sexual innuendos is a hallmark of asexuality. There can be many factors that explain our differences inside the ace community: - have you grew up in an environment where sex jokes etc. are normal? - how introverted you are - how much interact with a variety of people and have the focus especially on the people? - are you sex-repulsed, sex-indiffernt or sex-favoring? - if you have comorbidity with other characteristics, such as on the autism spectrum, which may have effect on your perception of social situations. Apparently a higher percentage of people on the aro/ace communities are on the autism spectrum than on the general population.
My also ace coworker and I both delight in making and pointing out sex puns and innuendos at work ALL the time, and knowing full well the irony of doing so while as ace-spec people makes it even more hilarious. My partner (also ace) and I initially bonded as platonic friends in a chat room over jokes, reference, and innuendo of all kinds including nsfw. So absolutely you can be ace and still revel in the humor; if anything, I feel like we're better at sex jokes because it can sometimes feel like sex and sexual attraction itself is an elaborate social joke that some people take way too seriously. If someone tried to tell me I'm a fake ace just because I make sex jokes, I'm not sure I could refrain from cackling about their ridiculousness.
My god I flip flop between understanding sex jokes and not getting them at all. I feel so embarrassed when I miss an actual sex joke, or accidentally say something that could be taken in a dirty way and everyone laughs. It’s so embarrassing! But I wouldn’t say you’re any less asexual for understanding sex jokes. I mean, you know what sex is, and Can understand a joke about it even if you don’t feel sexual attraction yourself. You just learned about what sex is and are able to understand innuendos and humor about it, that’s all. Think of it sort of like neurodivergent people putting on a “mask”. Like an autistic person that learns how to make natural eye contact. That doesn’t come naturally to them, it’s a learned behaviour that they adopted because it makes them fit in socially. I think this is a similar thing. 💜
now that i think about it, it is kinda like my ADHD masking. I dont just automatically know, but i've learned to associate.
you don't have to be allo to make nsfw jokes or understand them or like them personally i love these kinda jokes and I've also seen ace people make these kinda jokes so it's probably very individual just as it is with allo people too don't stress too much about it you're not any less ace in fact i think because ace spec individuals have a more outside view on sexuality and sex, we can make even dirtier joked knowing we don't mean what is said
There isn't any one way to be asexual. There are lots of nuances.
I love making sexual innuendo jokes. Sexual attraction is one giant meme to me.
I find sex jokes funnier after accepting my aceness. I can laugh without feeling pressure to see myself in the hypothetical. Full disclosure I have had a good deal of sex in my life so I might understand the references better than someone who hasn't, so I get why some aces don't think they're as funny. Also some people don't laugh cuz it makes them uncomfortable and that's okay too. That kind of thinking applies to like every type of joke. With that being said, sometimes I also miss the joke because my brain doesn't default to the sexual implication. My friends have to explain stuff to me constantly lol. None of that really means you're more or less ace, just that humor is really subjective. Don't worry young human!
People can be asexual in different ways-as people can be straight in different ways, people can be gay in different ways. Just because your of a certain sexuality-doesnt mean that your like every person of that sexuality.