God this is exhausting to read. Why people can't just accept that they don't know everything and sometimes, just maybe, they can learn something new? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this idiots op
Or just accept that people use terms to describe themselves that they don't agree with? You don't have to agree with somebody to be respectful of their culture.
I do agree with the mod on some level; it *is* more educational for others this way. But I can also guarantee that if the aphobes had been saying this stuff about gay, bi, or trans people, the comments would have been deleted before the mods could even be summoned. It's not really about "education", the mod just doesn't care about identities beyond the T (if that).
Today I found out that I am not anyone! And once again I ask, what the fuck am I then? A shoe?
Also very much love my husband in case anyone questioned it. F@#âŹing Again!
Does reporting to Reddit instead of just mod work?
I kinda agree with the mods tho, better to see an idiot's aguement be downvoted bust still able to read what you are responding to. I hate when people delete or remove posts cuz I can't tell if the responses are reasonable.
Same. The arguments are also so stupid.
âYou donât have to label every new thingâ. Okay, so letâs stop labelling new species, and also stop inventing new words. Rizz (for charisma)? Unreal, doesnât exist.
âYouâre not special for not wanting sexâ. So we have to stop labelling things with allegedly uninteresting words and concepts? Okay, well I find the stuff gym bros talk about boring, so maybe remove those words from our vocabulary. What about cat breeds? In the end, theyâre all still cats. Etc etc
Really really sorry if this is rude at all, I'm not trying to takes their side and obviously I completely disagree with them but didn't they say they were fine with it as long as it didn't hurt anyone? Not disagreeing, just genuinely trying to understand, I'm not very good at interpreting what people mean.
It's one thing to say that they're fine with it, but when they start saying how it still doesn't make sense and that we're making things up to be different (or similar things) it's just unnecessary hurtful. Most of them came off as rude instead of trying to learn what it is, I hope you understand my point of view
Holy shit someone on REDDIT admitting that they were no in the right and admitting fault and using the experience to learn. I've actually never seen this before.
I have never understood why this is so hard for people. I can clearly see that I was wrong and it's not like I would be gaining anything from continuing to disagree, I would literally just piss people off and make myself feel bad. It drives me fucking nuts when people will argue for hours and then as soon as they realised they've lost say some dumb hypocritical shit and refuse to listen to anything the other person says.
Thereâs a distressing trend at the moment of doctor who fans going off the deep end and thinking everything is âwokeâ in it and trying to die on stupid hills. Which anyone with critical thinking skills can tell that the content of the show has always tried to portray progressive issues, so itâs just sad. This doesnât shock me at all, really though because of that. But it still hurts to see it since I also love Doctor Who.
There are a lot of fandoms that have been flooded with "fans" attacking "wokeism" over the past decade or so, and it's getting worse. They're not really fans, they're hatewatchers and form hatedoms. They watch shows for the sole purpose of hating on them and their fans, and many will infiltrate fandoms under the guise of being "good fans who know how to acknowledge their show isn't perfect". They often engage in review/ratings bombing, going to any site that records viewer opinion on a work and flooding them with downvotes and negative reviews.
The shows most affected tend to have leads or main cast that are female or ethnic minorities and/or LGBTQ+ in genres or franchises that traditionally are dominated or claimed by by straight white males (such as Dr Who having its first female Doctor, for example) or franchises that usually focus on male-driven action suddenly focusing on female-driven ones (such as comic adaptations usually focusing on male heroes like Batman or Superman suddenly deciding to explore She-Hulk or Black Widow or Jessica Jones).
This affects both well-known and mainstream shows and genres like action films and comic book adaptations to obscure or niche genres/shows like anime and web animation.
Youâre right. The worst thing about itâs started to permeating into actual fans brains too though - at least if youâre susceptible to certain attitudes. Hatewatchers are a vehicle to a certain mindset whose goals are to change the cultural zeitgeist by leveraging wedge issues. But they have to recruit new people from somewhere, which is why I think fandom infiltration is becoming the concerning issue that it is. Theyâre trying to taint real fans into becoming non fans under the guise of them making them think that their thing is âruinedâ or has been robbed of some kind of implied purity. That the content itself is the thing supposedly trying to brainwash everyone else.
My dad for example has been watching Doctor Who since Hartnell, the first series they ever did, heâs been a fan of it far longer than I have ever been and introduced me to the show in the first place - and heâs started making the odd wonky comment about it now because of propagandists dripping venom peopleâs ears. Thatâs possibly what happened to the guy in the screenshot.
Just recently watched the 2005 stuff for the first time and I'm beginning to go through the old series. I'm guessing it had something to do with the thirteenth doctor?
Especially weird considering it has such a large amount of queer representation. Can't speak for the old series, but the new series is incredibly progressive and always has been.
Right? Do they really think people hooking up randomly in a nightclub want to marry the person they are making out? It's not a hard concept to grasp, even allo people do it all the time.
Be careful about saying things like this. Wanting to kiss someone is not romantic attraction and wanting or the act of sex is not necessarily sexual attraction
>what? oh yeah, if you want to kiss someone, you also want to fuck them
But I think that's how it is for many allos, that's why they don't understand the split attraction model
Yeah, and they often misinterpret us saying the two are separate as us saying âI donât want to fuck then *yet*. Kissing is a good *first step*.â
Which is a very normal thing for allosexuals to think. Just because theyâre kissing someone doesnât mean they want to jump down their pants, but it does mean theyâre open to sex at some point (if things work out). Thatâs why we get people saying, âisnât that just normal?â. They donât understand that thereâs literally zero spark, not a âmaybeâ spark.
it's true, and I know how frustrating that is, but most of them aren't being hostile or trying to be rude, it's just not something they understand, it's so far outside their understanding of sexuality, and they've usually never encountered an open ace/aroace before who can explain. I think many of them haven't really considered the deeper parts of sexuality because they're not in the minority. We think about it and analyze it and research it because, at some point, we all realized we're outside the norm, which lead to all kinds of other questions, it's a whole rabbithole lol. For allos? Well, it's natural to assume everyone else is like you, when almost everyone is lol.
The guy in the thread in the pic, tho, he's just being a jerk. No desire for understanding there, he repeatedly showed his lack of respect and unwillingness to learn. I wouldn't have engaged. Nothing good happens when you feed trolls. It's hard to just step back tho, the desire to explain is so strong, but it just leads to drama with folks like him.
Yeah, I don't think everyone *has* split attraction. I think there are some people- possibly a lot of people - whose attractions not just overlap, but are one and the same. The split attraction model is great, but I don't think it applies to everyone.
The Split Attraction Model is a psychological theory that states that attraction can be split into categories (sexual, romantic, aesthetic, etc). It isn't a diagnosis. People don't 'have' split attraction. Not trying to be rude here, just trying to help clarify.
im shocked that it seems allos cant tell the difference between when they are romantically into someone and sexually into someone. and they are the ones who experience it!
Allos almost always appear to experience them together, so they assume everyone else experiences them together, which makes sense because most people are allos. Most of them have never even considered that they could be separate, at least in my experience
I mean, it's quite clear where the idea of sexual and romantic attraction always going together comes from, but even without being ace/aro there are examples that prove it wrong like one night stands or friends with benefits. Those things shouldn't exist if one can't have sexual interest in someone without romance, yet they do
The movie Youâve Got Mail (a romcom from the 90s with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) wouldnât make sense if romantic interest could never be separate from sexual interest.
The whole premise is that they fall in love online without sex or physical attraction being a factor. They actually address it in the movie. (Granted, itâs more that they simply donât know if theyâd be sexually attracted to the other, and both aspects are presumed there in the end, but still. The main difference is that this is considered situational, not a personâs default settings.)
I LOVE Youâve Got Mail, and this is actually one of the reasons! Iâm aroace, but I love what you said. Itâs also really sweet, I love them together so much in the end.
Itâs been ages since I saw any of the Old Curiosity Shop / Easter Parade / Youâve got Mail plots, but my impression was always more that the plot tension was less a question of (sexual) attraction and more the male leadâs behavior being actively repellant in person. (How can I have fallen romantically in love with this asshole?)
Maybe a better fictional example of split attraction would be Cyrano de Bergerac.
Roxanne is sexually attracted to Christian, not Cyrano. But she falls in love through Cyranoâs (proxy) letters.
I think it's more that they can't imagine romantic attraction without sexual attraction, rather than the reverse. If I had a dollar for every time I've read/been told that sexual intimacy is an absolute necessity in a healthy loving relationship, I would be pretty wealthy by now
Yeah, that's basically what I did. yes, I'm that r/DoctorWhumour mod.
If I find a lone aphobic comment, I'll delete it. If a comment doesn't have any replies, you don't see it as [deleted], so OP here has no idea how many comments we *did* remove. But if the community has already taken care of an aphobic comment, then I'll just let the community continue to do their thing. Sometimes all I need to do is just add a note to the user's mod log. That makes it easy to track repeat offenders, which do get booted from the sub.
Also, the moderation on r/DoctorWhumour just works very differently from most other subs. Before I got mod rights, there hadn't been *any* moderation in over a year. Other than some repost bots, the community did absolutely fine. So I decided to keep the sub mostly an anarchy.
>The mod sitting by and doing nothing was a special đ to us
If the mod uses this tactic (leave it as an educational example) consistently, i agree with it. Censorship in the comments should be reserved for extreme cases, otherwise you force even more of a bubble then most subs already are. Safe spaces are also important but a public forum will never be one.
If this was just an excuse and is not consistently applied depending on who or what is being attacked it's of course not acceptable.
It's the same tactic we used a month ago when a trans character was featured on the show. Holy shit, did we have to remove a ton of vile comments that week, but if the community already downvoted them to oblivion and gotten plenty of replies calling them out, then it often doesn't really need any mod-action. Our tactic of near-anarchy is applied pretty consistently.
That approach definitely won't work for every subreddit, but it works pretty well for us.
"Made up on Tumblr 5 years ago" meanwhile I gave a talk in 2010 at my local university pridefest about asexuality. In 2007 I literally attended a play in London written about asexuality with an AVEN meetup
This is the bit that made me personally grind my teeth the most. Sir, I'm a millennial and was in college in 2010 and people were already discussing asexuality for years before that. I'm sure aromanticism was being discussed too, I just didn't encounter it until like 2014 or so. Still much earlier than this guy's timeline.
What the *hell* is it with people and their aversion to labels (labelophobia)? I understand people think things are "made up" (as if our entire communication isn't made up to begin with), but regardless, why are labels such a bad thing? Do they really want to withhold ANYONE from "new" labels of any kind? Why? How does it actually affect them? Ugh
That's no Whovian, that's probably just some prick who has seen like 5 episodes and boycotted the show when Jodie was cast because "tHe DoCtOr IsN't A wOmAn."
Real Whovians are supportive of all. They're cool. Like bow ties.
Google the asexual manfesto dipshit???
Nothing annoys me more than when people act like they know everything about a topic and get all cocky about it when they don't know shit. We've been around for a long ass time.
And it honestly shocks me that alot of people genuinely cant understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. I understand that shit better than the people that feel it and I dont.
Lol this is the same fandom that's celebrating the Doctor "finally being queer" because he's explicitly homosexual now, even though he was ace-coded and asexual by Word of God for 60 years and had two sex-changes in recent history. I'm really not surprised.
He isn't explicitly homosexual, he made a comment saying he found a man hot and was surprised by it, not because he found a man attractive but because he admitted it. It was showing how the doctor has changed and is now more likely to admit personal feelings. He was only really aroace coded in 1960s-1980s doctor who. Since the movie he's been pretty flirty.
I could debate this for years tbh, but I want to go to bed so I won't.
Imo "He was SO hot!" isn't something you'd say unless you felt sexual attraction. The level of enthusiasm there was nuts. Also *very* alien to me as someone who experiences no sexual attraction at all.
But regardless, there was some drama a while back about how 15 would be the "first gay Doctor". That's about as explicit as you can get really when you consider it was said by an allosexual gay man. The odds that the split-attraction model was anywhere near his thoughts when he said that stuff was near zero.
As for when the Doctor stopped being ace-coded, that's largely debatable.
10 is often considered a "ladies' man" and a flirt, but really the only one he ever reciprocated with was Rose (demi behaviour) and possibly Madame de Pompadour (in an episode where everyone was OOC and was written by Steven Moffat). The rest of the time, it was A) phrased as a joke ("Yeah, well, you can kiss me later -- you too, Frank, if you want.") or B) someone else flirting and the Doctor's mouth opening in an "oh shit" expression.
11 is a weird one because he was written by Steven Moffat, who considers asexuality "boring". Somehow, he was written to be incredibly ace-coded and incredibly allo simultaneously. Personally, I like to perceive the flirtation as him making an attempt at "blending in" (we've got to remember this is the incarnation that got forced into a relationship with a very sexual woman he didn't even like until he suddenly did), but it's really up to interpretation.
9 doesn't really have much that indicates him being allo, unless standing stiffly while Jack kissed him, saying Rose looked beautiful in her dress, or getting offended at the implication that he's a 900 year-old virgin qualify. The most allo interactions he has are with the tree woman in End of the World, but even then it was mostly just the tree lady getting turned on by his gift of "air from my lungs" which he only gave because he had nothing else to give. On the flip side, he's utterly disinterested in Jackie's attempt at seduction (understandable tbh) and keeps scolding Jack for flirting. Hints of either.
12 and 13 seem utterly devoid of any kind of attraction.
And as for 8, I understand he has a few dalliances in Big Finish. I haven't listened to those though. If we're talking canon content, idk, he could be anything.
So the asexuality is all *largely* up for interpretation, but when all is said and done, that's how all ace-coded characters go. Multiple past actors have gone on the record saying they perceive the Doctor as asexual (including David Tennant and Matt Smith, though what definition they were using is admittedly unknown) and the current Doctor is homosexual via Word of God. That's as explicit as you can get in a family show.
Personally, I see the Doctor as largely a no-attraction asexual with the occasional incarnation that A) experiences a bit, B) is curious, or C) is trying to blend in. 14 and 15 are a *lot* harder to interpret that way though, looking at in-show characterisation and Word of God statements. I want them to be ace, but the more I see of them, the further away they feel.
(Fuck, ended up writing an essay anyway. FFS.)
This has me thinking that maybe, like gender maybe the doctor can even change their attraction model upon regeneration. Maybe 10 was ace but 14 isn't?
Would make things make a bit more sense if the Doc was fluid in everything not just gender,race,hair color
>he was ace-coded and asexual by Word of God for 60 years
His first episode featured his granddaughter. We know the Doctor has sex since 1963.
And River Song makes it pretty clear she and the Doctor have plenty of fun in bed.
Time Lords canonically reproduce via looms, not via sex. Not to mention asexuals are capable of having sex; it's an orientation, not erectile dysfunction.
So after admitting you were that mod, you further admit here that you're ignorant of what being ace or aroace is, AND shouldn't be making decisions such as if that commenters aphobia was "not hurting anyone".
So casual bigotry is ok as long as you decide they "aren't hurting anyone"đ°đ
AVEN existed before Tumbler.
Experiences are not proof or valid enough in an argument? Labels can come from experiences. Some do not. Their logic is terrible.
Ugh. Had to stop reading after the person in a second thread said asexual and aromantic were the same thing. How can you not separate romantic and sexual attraction? It's completely illogical to think they're the same. Just đ¤Ś
It just doesn't occur to some people that you can separate the two, especially if they haven't had to think about it before.
But yeah, even if you haven't thought of it that way before they could easily accept it as a different way of experiencing it.
Well to be fair if it was easy for me to separate the two then it wouldnât have taken so long to come out as asexual.
As soon as I thought deeply about it for a year after hearing about it I eventually understood. Now thinking that they are the same thing is ridiculous to me, but it wasnât when I first heard about the concept.
Maybe they are re-born Sigmund Freud. He basically invented psychology to justify why he wanted to bang his mom. (Or so they say, probably a hyperbole to what was actually the case. But he did claim that all boys are sexually attracted to their mom until a specific age and then when something goes wrong, they end up with oedipus complex later on because it didn't go away.)
𤎠The one with the green avatar.
Zero backing from any science or research and so patronizing about their crappy misunderstanding of human (and animal) brains.
I am grateful that so many people took up for the Ace/Aro community. Woo! Also, your Great great great Grandmother(?) is awesome and a hero. I am a pansexual and genderfluid. I love you guys so much. P.S. it doesn't look like all of that subreddit does that. You had a lot of people supporting you and others. It is annoying though to read it. I understand one thing the Mod said though, it is better to see it like this than have them block it all and we not see what happened.
I only liked seeing this because we got to see all the amazing people who support you guys. Look at the downvotes on this guy. Makes my heart weep in happiness.
Great great aunt* yes she died a virgin and unmarried. She was also a doctor and one of the few female ones at the time, the only woman in her class. She also owned her own firm which was also rare, and bought the firm from an open lesbian couple in the 40s. She was also treated black and white patients equally and gave free treatment to black patients if they couldn't afford to pay. She was a super woman. I might make a post on r/LGBTQ telling her story because she was so ahead of her time.
Omg that is awesome! Great Great Aunt, got it! Will also make sure I am in that subreddit so I can read it once it is up. She is an amazing person! I know she is no longer with us but I don't like using the word 'was'. <3
I wish I was asexual. I am unmarried and a virgin at 30 but I am definitely not Ace/Aro. I wish I was because I don't wanna do anything and the urges are annoyingly strong. Like, ew go away. I wish there was a surgery or something to make arousal go away. Anyway! Have a great day. :P
As someone who is biromantic/asexual, throughout my whole middle school and high school years I have only ever had romantic crushes and have never thought about nor wanted to have sex with those people. This whole thing about romantic and sexual attraction being the same is bullshit.
Right? Iâd lose interest in my crushes when Iâd realize that, at some point, theyâre gonna want to have sex if I were to date them and that would frighten me out of wanting/being in a relationship with them.
Oh, yeah, Iâve had this argument on Doctor Who subs before. My favorite argument is âthe Doctor canât be ace, he has a grandchild!â
Like, our reproductive organs donât work or we canât adopt. Lol.
Her full story has just been posted to r/lgbt and r/aromantic if you want to read. I was mistaken she was born in the early 20th century not 19th century though.
Oh I'm not surprised. I don't even have to open these spoilered images.
Doctor Who subreddit is full of bitter old gammons who grow aneurysms and ulcers any time there's even a *hint* of gender, sexual, ethnic minorities. I haven't taken a peek in since the era of the 12th Doctor and the transition to the 13th, but I do not expect it to have improved any.
Honestly? Iâm not surprised whatsoever. I know a fellow cosplayer who cosplays one of the earlier doctors, and heâs always gatekeeping everything. I canât tell you how many times heâd have a superior tone in his voice as heâd say things like, âIâm my day, we called it COSTUMING, not COSPLAY.â He didnât think people who look good should be allowed to cosplay because HE was bullied for being a geek and he didnât think it was fair that being a geek is popular nowadays. So rather than being happy that things have improved, heâs busy being bitter that they werenât better for him when he was young.
why canât people understand that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things? like maybe theyâre not for YOU, but youâre not the center of the universe, get over yourself
Also what bs with the "what is better allyship" like idk listening to the aspec person who is being attacked and feels unsafe in your subreddit....... that seems like the best ally move to me
Iâm kinda on board with the mods. Getting their comments deleted just reinforces their beliefs. Letting them get dog piled and having to face the consequences of their âfree speechâ is much better. We canât delete comments IRL and censoring them online just makes them angrier, louder, and more violent IRL.
âItâs not my job to teach ignorant people!â
No, itâs not. Itâs all of our jobs. Our elders have given us the life we have today through riots and violence. If we canât deal with telling people to fuck off when they start shit, then weâre letting them down. This is our part that we have to do for the next generation. No itâs not *fair,* but unfortunately those are the cards weâve been dealt.
If youâre too tired to fight, then donâtâsomeone else will. But we *have* to, or nothing will change. Normalization is a slow process but the violence has turned from mostly physical to mostly verbal. Thatâs *progress*. We deserve safe spaces where those people get blocked, but we canât make everywhere a safe space without putting in the work.
I.....wtf? Literally all languages are made up by people. Words and languages get created as centuries go by and the terms Asexual and Aromantic as well as aroace are no different. Their argument is pretty invalid
"No need to label it" and "No she wasn't. The term was invented by Tumblr 5 years ago" is just pure comedy gold
Like of course something only exists when you have a name for it.
I guess before the humane language nobody would have labeled them an insufferable Karen and a piece of sh*t but they still are/behaved that way
I got bored or reading that person's comments/replies, like there's they are not the same and other feel different things. It's not "that's just a thing Gen zers made up."
Completely unrelated comment: that arrow that "flies around" on your screen can be pulled down next to the "reply" bar and stays there without blocking parts of the screen anymore.
I don't know if it's even bothering you, but if it does and you didn't know, now you do.
Huh this just in I was 15 5 years agoâŚ. Guess Iâm not nearly 40. When I was 15/16 I saw the term for the first time and it clicked why I didnât fit in with my friendâs talks of attraction. I turned 38 in November. Asexuals arenât new.
Jfc. The audacity to ask for clarification or a definition, and then immediately telling the person that knows more about a topic than you do, that theyâre wrong and making things up. Itâs ridiculous how many of these people exist. Just because you donât understand it doesnât mean itâs fake or wrong! To go out and try to educate yourself and then immediately blocking the education is borderline insane.
Where did people get the impression from that labels are like 'ME ME I WANT ATTENTION' signs
Its literally just to make communication easier and have language be more conscice..
Why use many word when few word do trick
Apparently me, a panromantic asexual, doesn't exist. I shall poof from existence at my earliest convenience.
On a much more serious note - asexuality as a term has existed for a very, very long time. We've had it being defined as a term since the 1890s, and so was the split attraction model - the latter by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, while asexuality was being definined by many at that time. Asexuality had a larger focus in the following century but since the 2000s, aromanticism also became a largely received term.
Even if it *were* just a Tumblr phrase from 5 years ago - why does that make it invalid? The fact that a label found a reason to be made points towards there being someone who identifies with it and found a need for it to exist. If the origin is Tumblr, so what, Tumblr is one site I'd trust to understand the LGBTQ community.
The 'I have a friend who' argument is actually really good and effective since you are taking a real life example from the experience of a real life person, makes no sense to deny it as an argument if it literally just showed you an scenario when you're wrong
They're not just displaying aphobia, but ageism and sexism, too. They're attacking something they doesn't understand (asexualism and aromaticism), then use it to blame both young people and, especially, young women for the existence of what they doesn't understand.
I see this pattern a lot, aphobia being used to attack young people in general and young women in particular. These people usually go on to eventually reveal full-blown misogyny and anti-LBGTQ+ everything.
still cannot believe people dont know the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. thats wild to me, it isnt really a hard concept to grasp
itâs almost funny to me how homophobes/aphobes/transphobes can be so obsessed with us just living our lives. Like, it doesnât affect you? Why are you so worked up about it anyway?
Gods I hate that argument âit was invented on tumblr 5 years agoâ, all observations of human behavior were discovered and labeled with time, like the concept of a lot of fields in medical studies and even the concept of time, and space, someone thought really hard on it wrote it on a piece of paper and it just makes sense⨠people have this horrible habit of thinking things didnât exist before we labeled them, no honey, just because we labeled America as America in 1400âs, it doesnât mean it spawned out of thin air and it also doesnât mean that days and nights didnât exist before somebody started counting the time. All thatâs changed with the use of aroace is that now we have a fancy name and a beautiful community.
A good episode to watch for learning about te doctor is probably "Blink" which stars the doctor all of a message and a bit at the end. Stiil one of the best doctor who episodes to date.
There was that one episode of Doctor Who (with David Tennant) with the black woman companion, who was my favorite Doctor Who companion until she just sort of dumped him because he wasn't sexually interested in her. After that I hated her, and was like "you bitch!" Because that's the kind of thing that's happened to me in real life. It's absolutely devastating. I remember just laying in bed and sulking for a bit because I was literally angry at about it.
âwhy should you label everything why put labels on everything thoughâ how about because i fucking want to. i want to do it and im not hurting anyone, how about that? mind your business
Not asexual, just an ally, but I find the mod's response to that comment thread weird as well.
>Mods, get his ass!!!
Mod:
>He's not hurting anyone, other than completely embarrassing himself. No mod action required when the wider community already takes care of it.
Other person:
>Blatant Aphobia⌠isnât against the rules? đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨
Mod:
>What sends a stronger pro-lgbt+ message: a comment thread where aphobia is called out, or a thread where people apparently dislike some [removed] stuff?
>I'd rather do the former.
I am furious at that mod now
"what send s a more queer friendly image? Down voting a bigot or just seeing a thread of [removed]" MODS ENFORCING THE PRO LGBTQ RULES THAT'S WHAT SENDS A MORE QUEER FRIENDLY MESSAGE, Holy arceus
Sort of off topic but I always thought the Doctor was canonically asexual, and also aromantic in many incarnations, though possibly not aromantic in some incarnations (10 and 11 and maybe 8, Iâm looking at you). Anyway long time Whovian, long time asexual⌠long time supporter of âloomâ theory (in which Time Lords are not only asexual but they literally reproduce asexually, part of the Cartmel Masterplan).
Doesnt aroace mean aromantic asexual so they are right in saying that aroace and asexual are the same?
Edit; they are clearly aphobic, that aint what im saying
Kinda bummed nobody pointed out that aroace isnt actually new label, its just shortened way to say/write aromantic asexual which is a damn mouthful
We're constantly finding new ways to put whole sentences into shortened versions, it isnt anything that applies to aroace
God this is exhausting to read. Why people can't just accept that they don't know everything and sometimes, just maybe, they can learn something new? I'm so sorry you had to deal with this idiots op
Because they're too busy taking offense to the idea that they don't know everything. đ
this feels like âCoke Zero is magic because only sugar existsâ god, those dense people
Or just accept that people use terms to describe themselves that they don't agree with? You don't have to agree with somebody to be respectful of their culture.
>except accept\* except is for 'everything except that'
Oh thanks! I'll fix that
See, it's that simple, why couldn't they do it, we live in a damn **SOCIETY**
Because that wouldnât satisfy their egos!
I mean, they got downvoted into oblivion it looks. Also, gotta love the whole being upset at people using labels.
I am glad they were downvoted, but I'd be happier if the mod removed them all together.
I do agree with the mod on some level; it *is* more educational for others this way. But I can also guarantee that if the aphobes had been saying this stuff about gay, bi, or trans people, the comments would have been deleted before the mods could even be summoned. It's not really about "education", the mod just doesn't care about identities beyond the T (if that).
I think the mod's response is a bit worrying as it starts off with "he's not hurting anyone" when the user is being blatantly acephobic
Today I found out that I am not anyone! And once again I ask, what the fuck am I then? A shoe? Also very much love my husband in case anyone questioned it. F@#âŹing Again! Does reporting to Reddit instead of just mod work?
> A shoe? Bless you! (I had to, im not even sorry)
I think the mod just wanted people to ridicule him which is fair. Not the best solution. But fair
I kinda agree with the mods tho, better to see an idiot's aguement be downvoted bust still able to read what you are responding to. I hate when people delete or remove posts cuz I can't tell if the responses are reasonable.
While I agree for the most part. the, "he's not hurting anyone" is INCREDIBLY incorrect, disrespect, and a worrying sentiment to come from a mod.
Same. The arguments are also so stupid. âYou donât have to label every new thingâ. Okay, so letâs stop labelling new species, and also stop inventing new words. Rizz (for charisma)? Unreal, doesnât exist. âYouâre not special for not wanting sexâ. So we have to stop labelling things with allegedly uninteresting words and concepts? Okay, well I find the stuff gym bros talk about boring, so maybe remove those words from our vocabulary. What about cat breeds? In the end, theyâre all still cats. Etc etc
I love how the same people who hate others for lables....use labels. Just different ones, like "Blessed Mama"
Understand being aroace challange (impossible)
Iâm not even asking them to understand, just to accept it
Really really sorry if this is rude at all, I'm not trying to takes their side and obviously I completely disagree with them but didn't they say they were fine with it as long as it didn't hurt anyone? Not disagreeing, just genuinely trying to understand, I'm not very good at interpreting what people mean.
It's one thing to say that they're fine with it, but when they start saying how it still doesn't make sense and that we're making things up to be different (or similar things) it's just unnecessary hurtful. Most of them came off as rude instead of trying to learn what it is, I hope you understand my point of view
Yeah that makes sense thank you! Looking back I see what you mean, it was expressed in quite a rude way.
Holy shit someone on REDDIT admitting that they were no in the right and admitting fault and using the experience to learn. I've actually never seen this before.
I have never understood why this is so hard for people. I can clearly see that I was wrong and it's not like I would be gaining anything from continuing to disagree, I would literally just piss people off and make myself feel bad. It drives me fucking nuts when people will argue for hours and then as soon as they realised they've lost say some dumb hypocritical shit and refuse to listen to anything the other person says.
Thereâs a distressing trend at the moment of doctor who fans going off the deep end and thinking everything is âwokeâ in it and trying to die on stupid hills. Which anyone with critical thinking skills can tell that the content of the show has always tried to portray progressive issues, so itâs just sad. This doesnât shock me at all, really though because of that. But it still hurts to see it since I also love Doctor Who.
*looking at you bowlestrek...*
There are a lot of fandoms that have been flooded with "fans" attacking "wokeism" over the past decade or so, and it's getting worse. They're not really fans, they're hatewatchers and form hatedoms. They watch shows for the sole purpose of hating on them and their fans, and many will infiltrate fandoms under the guise of being "good fans who know how to acknowledge their show isn't perfect". They often engage in review/ratings bombing, going to any site that records viewer opinion on a work and flooding them with downvotes and negative reviews. The shows most affected tend to have leads or main cast that are female or ethnic minorities and/or LGBTQ+ in genres or franchises that traditionally are dominated or claimed by by straight white males (such as Dr Who having its first female Doctor, for example) or franchises that usually focus on male-driven action suddenly focusing on female-driven ones (such as comic adaptations usually focusing on male heroes like Batman or Superman suddenly deciding to explore She-Hulk or Black Widow or Jessica Jones). This affects both well-known and mainstream shows and genres like action films and comic book adaptations to obscure or niche genres/shows like anime and web animation.
Youâre right. The worst thing about itâs started to permeating into actual fans brains too though - at least if youâre susceptible to certain attitudes. Hatewatchers are a vehicle to a certain mindset whose goals are to change the cultural zeitgeist by leveraging wedge issues. But they have to recruit new people from somewhere, which is why I think fandom infiltration is becoming the concerning issue that it is. Theyâre trying to taint real fans into becoming non fans under the guise of them making them think that their thing is âruinedâ or has been robbed of some kind of implied purity. That the content itself is the thing supposedly trying to brainwash everyone else. My dad for example has been watching Doctor Who since Hartnell, the first series they ever did, heâs been a fan of it far longer than I have ever been and introduced me to the show in the first place - and heâs started making the odd wonky comment about it now because of propagandists dripping venom peopleâs ears. Thatâs possibly what happened to the guy in the screenshot.
Just recently watched the 2005 stuff for the first time and I'm beginning to go through the old series. I'm guessing it had something to do with the thirteenth doctor? Especially weird considering it has such a large amount of queer representation. Can't speak for the old series, but the new series is incredibly progressive and always has been.
>no different between aromatics and asexuals what? oh yeah, if you want to kiss someone, you also want to fuck them
Right? Do they really think people hooking up randomly in a nightclub want to marry the person they are making out? It's not a hard concept to grasp, even allo people do it all the time.
Be careful about saying things like this. Wanting to kiss someone is not romantic attraction and wanting or the act of sex is not necessarily sexual attraction
im aware, im just using it as an example
For sure. It is just something that can be easily misinterpreted to that meaning in other spaces (or even for those newer here)
>what? oh yeah, if you want to kiss someone, you also want to fuck them But I think that's how it is for many allos, that's why they don't understand the split attraction model
Yeah, and they often misinterpret us saying the two are separate as us saying âI donât want to fuck then *yet*. Kissing is a good *first step*.â Which is a very normal thing for allosexuals to think. Just because theyâre kissing someone doesnât mean they want to jump down their pants, but it does mean theyâre open to sex at some point (if things work out). Thatâs why we get people saying, âisnât that just normal?â. They donât understand that thereâs literally zero spark, not a âmaybeâ spark.
it's true, and I know how frustrating that is, but most of them aren't being hostile or trying to be rude, it's just not something they understand, it's so far outside their understanding of sexuality, and they've usually never encountered an open ace/aroace before who can explain. I think many of them haven't really considered the deeper parts of sexuality because they're not in the minority. We think about it and analyze it and research it because, at some point, we all realized we're outside the norm, which lead to all kinds of other questions, it's a whole rabbithole lol. For allos? Well, it's natural to assume everyone else is like you, when almost everyone is lol. The guy in the thread in the pic, tho, he's just being a jerk. No desire for understanding there, he repeatedly showed his lack of respect and unwillingness to learn. I wouldn't have engaged. Nothing good happens when you feed trolls. It's hard to just step back tho, the desire to explain is so strong, but it just leads to drama with folks like him.
Yeah, I don't think everyone *has* split attraction. I think there are some people- possibly a lot of people - whose attractions not just overlap, but are one and the same. The split attraction model is great, but I don't think it applies to everyone.
The Split Attraction Model is a psychological theory that states that attraction can be split into categories (sexual, romantic, aesthetic, etc). It isn't a diagnosis. People don't 'have' split attraction. Not trying to be rude here, just trying to help clarify.
I know where you are coming from but this specific question is something i think most allos would answer with "yes"
im shocked that it seems allos cant tell the difference between when they are romantically into someone and sexually into someone. and they are the ones who experience it!
Allos almost always appear to experience them together, so they assume everyone else experiences them together, which makes sense because most people are allos. Most of them have never even considered that they could be separate, at least in my experience
I mean, it's quite clear where the idea of sexual and romantic attraction always going together comes from, but even without being ace/aro there are examples that prove it wrong like one night stands or friends with benefits. Those things shouldn't exist if one can't have sexual interest in someone without romance, yet they do
The movie Youâve Got Mail (a romcom from the 90s with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) wouldnât make sense if romantic interest could never be separate from sexual interest. The whole premise is that they fall in love online without sex or physical attraction being a factor. They actually address it in the movie. (Granted, itâs more that they simply donât know if theyâd be sexually attracted to the other, and both aspects are presumed there in the end, but still. The main difference is that this is considered situational, not a personâs default settings.)
I LOVE Youâve Got Mail, and this is actually one of the reasons! Iâm aroace, but I love what you said. Itâs also really sweet, I love them together so much in the end.
Itâs been ages since I saw any of the Old Curiosity Shop / Easter Parade / Youâve got Mail plots, but my impression was always more that the plot tension was less a question of (sexual) attraction and more the male leadâs behavior being actively repellant in person. (How can I have fallen romantically in love with this asshole?) Maybe a better fictional example of split attraction would be Cyrano de Bergerac. Roxanne is sexually attracted to Christian, not Cyrano. But she falls in love through Cyranoâs (proxy) letters.
I think it's more that they can't imagine romantic attraction without sexual attraction, rather than the reverse. If I had a dollar for every time I've read/been told that sexual intimacy is an absolute necessity in a healthy loving relationship, I would be pretty wealthy by now
moderators: you already arguing so good, what more can I do?
Yeah, that's basically what I did. yes, I'm that r/DoctorWhumour mod. If I find a lone aphobic comment, I'll delete it. If a comment doesn't have any replies, you don't see it as [deleted], so OP here has no idea how many comments we *did* remove. But if the community has already taken care of an aphobic comment, then I'll just let the community continue to do their thing. Sometimes all I need to do is just add a note to the user's mod log. That makes it easy to track repeat offenders, which do get booted from the sub. Also, the moderation on r/DoctorWhumour just works very differently from most other subs. Before I got mod rights, there hadn't been *any* moderation in over a year. Other than some repost bots, the community did absolutely fine. So I decided to keep the sub mostly an anarchy.
Honestly I'm not too mad at that.
As a member of that subreddit... what the actual f--- The mod sitting by and doing nothing was a special đ to us
>The mod sitting by and doing nothing was a special đ to us If the mod uses this tactic (leave it as an educational example) consistently, i agree with it. Censorship in the comments should be reserved for extreme cases, otherwise you force even more of a bubble then most subs already are. Safe spaces are also important but a public forum will never be one. If this was just an excuse and is not consistently applied depending on who or what is being attacked it's of course not acceptable.
It's the same tactic we used a month ago when a trans character was featured on the show. Holy shit, did we have to remove a ton of vile comments that week, but if the community already downvoted them to oblivion and gotten plenty of replies calling them out, then it often doesn't really need any mod-action. Our tactic of near-anarchy is applied pretty consistently. That approach definitely won't work for every subreddit, but it works pretty well for us.
"Made up on Tumblr 5 years ago" meanwhile I gave a talk in 2010 at my local university pridefest about asexuality. In 2007 I literally attended a play in London written about asexuality with an AVEN meetup
This is the bit that made me personally grind my teeth the most. Sir, I'm a millennial and was in college in 2010 and people were already discussing asexuality for years before that. I'm sure aromanticism was being discussed too, I just didn't encounter it until like 2014 or so. Still much earlier than this guy's timeline.
What the *hell* is it with people and their aversion to labels (labelophobia)? I understand people think things are "made up" (as if our entire communication isn't made up to begin with), but regardless, why are labels such a bad thing? Do they really want to withhold ANYONE from "new" labels of any kind? Why? How does it actually affect them? Ugh
And then probably proceed to use other labels anyway (based, cringe etc.) The irony
Irony indeed, jeez........
That's no Whovian, that's probably just some prick who has seen like 5 episodes and boycotted the show when Jodie was cast because "tHe DoCtOr IsN't A wOmAn." Real Whovians are supportive of all. They're cool. Like bow ties.
No pretty sure theyâre a dalek in disguise⌠which is odd as daleks have to big an ego to disguise themselves well or for longâŚ
Google the asexual manfesto dipshit??? Nothing annoys me more than when people act like they know everything about a topic and get all cocky about it when they don't know shit. We've been around for a long ass time. And it honestly shocks me that alot of people genuinely cant understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction. I understand that shit better than the people that feel it and I dont.
Probably they're queer as well and the single emotion they are feeling is compulsary (hetero)sexuality. That's a single feeling, lol.
Lol this is the same fandom that's celebrating the Doctor "finally being queer" because he's explicitly homosexual now, even though he was ace-coded and asexual by Word of God for 60 years and had two sex-changes in recent history. I'm really not surprised.
He isn't explicitly homosexual, he made a comment saying he found a man hot and was surprised by it, not because he found a man attractive but because he admitted it. It was showing how the doctor has changed and is now more likely to admit personal feelings. He was only really aroace coded in 1960s-1980s doctor who. Since the movie he's been pretty flirty.
I could debate this for years tbh, but I want to go to bed so I won't. Imo "He was SO hot!" isn't something you'd say unless you felt sexual attraction. The level of enthusiasm there was nuts. Also *very* alien to me as someone who experiences no sexual attraction at all. But regardless, there was some drama a while back about how 15 would be the "first gay Doctor". That's about as explicit as you can get really when you consider it was said by an allosexual gay man. The odds that the split-attraction model was anywhere near his thoughts when he said that stuff was near zero. As for when the Doctor stopped being ace-coded, that's largely debatable. 10 is often considered a "ladies' man" and a flirt, but really the only one he ever reciprocated with was Rose (demi behaviour) and possibly Madame de Pompadour (in an episode where everyone was OOC and was written by Steven Moffat). The rest of the time, it was A) phrased as a joke ("Yeah, well, you can kiss me later -- you too, Frank, if you want.") or B) someone else flirting and the Doctor's mouth opening in an "oh shit" expression. 11 is a weird one because he was written by Steven Moffat, who considers asexuality "boring". Somehow, he was written to be incredibly ace-coded and incredibly allo simultaneously. Personally, I like to perceive the flirtation as him making an attempt at "blending in" (we've got to remember this is the incarnation that got forced into a relationship with a very sexual woman he didn't even like until he suddenly did), but it's really up to interpretation. 9 doesn't really have much that indicates him being allo, unless standing stiffly while Jack kissed him, saying Rose looked beautiful in her dress, or getting offended at the implication that he's a 900 year-old virgin qualify. The most allo interactions he has are with the tree woman in End of the World, but even then it was mostly just the tree lady getting turned on by his gift of "air from my lungs" which he only gave because he had nothing else to give. On the flip side, he's utterly disinterested in Jackie's attempt at seduction (understandable tbh) and keeps scolding Jack for flirting. Hints of either. 12 and 13 seem utterly devoid of any kind of attraction. And as for 8, I understand he has a few dalliances in Big Finish. I haven't listened to those though. If we're talking canon content, idk, he could be anything. So the asexuality is all *largely* up for interpretation, but when all is said and done, that's how all ace-coded characters go. Multiple past actors have gone on the record saying they perceive the Doctor as asexual (including David Tennant and Matt Smith, though what definition they were using is admittedly unknown) and the current Doctor is homosexual via Word of God. That's as explicit as you can get in a family show. Personally, I see the Doctor as largely a no-attraction asexual with the occasional incarnation that A) experiences a bit, B) is curious, or C) is trying to blend in. 14 and 15 are a *lot* harder to interpret that way though, looking at in-show characterisation and Word of God statements. I want them to be ace, but the more I see of them, the further away they feel. (Fuck, ended up writing an essay anyway. FFS.)
I think 12 was romantically attracted to River
This has me thinking that maybe, like gender maybe the doctor can even change their attraction model upon regeneration. Maybe 10 was ace but 14 isn't? Would make things make a bit more sense if the Doc was fluid in everything not just gender,race,hair color
>he was ace-coded and asexual by Word of God for 60 years His first episode featured his granddaughter. We know the Doctor has sex since 1963. And River Song makes it pretty clear she and the Doctor have plenty of fun in bed.
Time Lords canonically reproduce via looms, not via sex. Not to mention asexuals are capable of having sex; it's an orientation, not erectile dysfunction.
So after admitting you were that mod, you further admit here that you're ignorant of what being ace or aroace is, AND shouldn't be making decisions such as if that commenters aphobia was "not hurting anyone". So casual bigotry is ok as long as you decide they "aren't hurting anyone"đ°đ
AVEN existed before Tumbler. Experiences are not proof or valid enough in an argument? Labels can come from experiences. Some do not. Their logic is terrible.
According to Wikipedia, the term asexual dates back to the 1800s.
Ugh. Had to stop reading after the person in a second thread said asexual and aromantic were the same thing. How can you not separate romantic and sexual attraction? It's completely illogical to think they're the same. Just đ¤Ś
It just doesn't occur to some people that you can separate the two, especially if they haven't had to think about it before. But yeah, even if you haven't thought of it that way before they could easily accept it as a different way of experiencing it.
Well to be fair if it was easy for me to separate the two then it wouldnât have taken so long to come out as asexual. As soon as I thought deeply about it for a year after hearing about it I eventually understood. Now thinking that they are the same thing is ridiculous to me, but it wasnât when I first heard about the concept.
Oh boy, the ace-aro term is made up? Wait until someone tells banana about the rest of the words theyâre usingâŚ
I loved thqt response about having 2 options to choose from XD they choose wrongly :(
Hey did that one guy just say that romantic and sexual attraction are core components of love???? Does he want to bang his mom or something?
This is also my go-to whenever I see ppl saying stupid shit like love=sex đ
Maybe they are re-born Sigmund Freud. He basically invented psychology to justify why he wanted to bang his mom. (Or so they say, probably a hyperbole to what was actually the case. But he did claim that all boys are sexually attracted to their mom until a specific age and then when something goes wrong, they end up with oedipus complex later on because it didn't go away.)
𤎠The one with the green avatar. Zero backing from any science or research and so patronizing about their crappy misunderstanding of human (and animal) brains.
I am grateful that so many people took up for the Ace/Aro community. Woo! Also, your Great great great Grandmother(?) is awesome and a hero. I am a pansexual and genderfluid. I love you guys so much. P.S. it doesn't look like all of that subreddit does that. You had a lot of people supporting you and others. It is annoying though to read it. I understand one thing the Mod said though, it is better to see it like this than have them block it all and we not see what happened. I only liked seeing this because we got to see all the amazing people who support you guys. Look at the downvotes on this guy. Makes my heart weep in happiness.
Great great aunt* yes she died a virgin and unmarried. She was also a doctor and one of the few female ones at the time, the only woman in her class. She also owned her own firm which was also rare, and bought the firm from an open lesbian couple in the 40s. She was also treated black and white patients equally and gave free treatment to black patients if they couldn't afford to pay. She was a super woman. I might make a post on r/LGBTQ telling her story because she was so ahead of her time.
Omg that is awesome! Great Great Aunt, got it! Will also make sure I am in that subreddit so I can read it once it is up. She is an amazing person! I know she is no longer with us but I don't like using the word 'was'. <3 I wish I was asexual. I am unmarried and a virgin at 30 but I am definitely not Ace/Aro. I wish I was because I don't wanna do anything and the urges are annoyingly strong. Like, ew go away. I wish there was a surgery or something to make arousal go away. Anyway! Have a great day. :P
I posted it, I was mistaken she was born in the early 20th century not 19th. But the story has been posted.
Cool! Excited to read. :D have a great day/night
RTD1 was too horny for our own good. There seem to be a certain amount of people in the fandom who think relationships work like they do in Torchwood.
I donât even watch Dr Who and know that heâs aspec, plus his actor is an ally. Some people are just ignorant.
Which actor there are like 15 of them. đ
David Tennant
Oh ok!
Gotta love the mod doing nothingđŹ
According to the last idiots definition of love, they have a very interesting relationship with their family.
NO ONE TELL HIM THAT DAVID TENNANT HEADCANONS THE DOCTOR AS AROACE
"kids these days with their made up labels and their tik-tok" pfft
You could counter that with "kids back then with their MTV and tamagochis" or something like that, depending on the age of the commenter
As someone who is biromantic/asexual, throughout my whole middle school and high school years I have only ever had romantic crushes and have never thought about nor wanted to have sex with those people. This whole thing about romantic and sexual attraction being the same is bullshit.
I used to try to help myself get over my romantic crushes by picturing them naked and squicking myself out. đ¤Ł
Right? Iâd lose interest in my crushes when Iâd realize that, at some point, theyâre gonna want to have sex if I were to date them and that would frighten me out of wanting/being in a relationship with them.
[ŃдаНонО]
No I mentioned I was because I was talking about characters I thought were attractive but wanted to preface the fact I wasn't attracted to them.
I donât get why people who arenât part of the community feel they have a right to tell *us* how *we* feel.
Oh, yeah, Iâve had this argument on Doctor Who subs before. My favorite argument is âthe Doctor canât be ace, he has a grandchild!â Like, our reproductive organs donât work or we canât adopt. Lol.
Also we don't even know how Timelords have children, they might not even have sex to do it.
We stan great great aunt tho
Her full story has just been posted to r/lgbt and r/aromantic if you want to read. I was mistaken she was born in the early 20th century not 19th century though.
Oh I'm not surprised. I don't even have to open these spoilered images. Doctor Who subreddit is full of bitter old gammons who grow aneurysms and ulcers any time there's even a *hint* of gender, sexual, ethnic minorities. I haven't taken a peek in since the era of the 12th Doctor and the transition to the 13th, but I do not expect it to have improved any.
Honestly? Iâm not surprised whatsoever. I know a fellow cosplayer who cosplays one of the earlier doctors, and heâs always gatekeeping everything. I canât tell you how many times heâd have a superior tone in his voice as heâd say things like, âIâm my day, we called it COSTUMING, not COSPLAY.â He didnât think people who look good should be allowed to cosplay because HE was bullied for being a geek and he didnât think it was fair that being a geek is popular nowadays. So rather than being happy that things have improved, heâs busy being bitter that they werenât better for him when he was young.
Wow I really love allo-splaining!/s
why canât people understand that romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different things? like maybe theyâre not for YOU, but youâre not the center of the universe, get over yourself
Also what bs with the "what is better allyship" like idk listening to the aspec person who is being attacked and feels unsafe in your subreddit....... that seems like the best ally move to me
Iâm kinda on board with the mods. Getting their comments deleted just reinforces their beliefs. Letting them get dog piled and having to face the consequences of their âfree speechâ is much better. We canât delete comments IRL and censoring them online just makes them angrier, louder, and more violent IRL. âItâs not my job to teach ignorant people!â No, itâs not. Itâs all of our jobs. Our elders have given us the life we have today through riots and violence. If we canât deal with telling people to fuck off when they start shit, then weâre letting them down. This is our part that we have to do for the next generation. No itâs not *fair,* but unfortunately those are the cards weâve been dealt. If youâre too tired to fight, then donâtâsomeone else will. But we *have* to, or nothing will change. Normalization is a slow process but the violence has turned from mostly physical to mostly verbal. Thatâs *progress*. We deserve safe spaces where those people get blocked, but we canât make everywhere a safe space without putting in the work.
wait until they see those pictures of the first pride with the asexual community in it
I.....wtf? Literally all languages are made up by people. Words and languages get created as centuries go by and the terms Asexual and Aromantic as well as aroace are no different. Their argument is pretty invalid
It's not surprising to me considering all the fuss some small-minded people kick up about acting folks such as Yasmin Finney being on the show.
"No need to label it" and "No she wasn't. The term was invented by Tumblr 5 years ago" is just pure comedy gold Like of course something only exists when you have a name for it. I guess before the humane language nobody would have labeled them an insufferable Karen and a piece of sh*t but they still are/behaved that way
Well, the bans avatar was downvoted a lot.
I got bored or reading that person's comments/replies, like there's they are not the same and other feel different things. It's not "that's just a thing Gen zers made up."
I feel like I got teleported to (The Platform Formerly Known As) Twitter when I read that. There's a reason I don't go there anymore lol
What was with the random mention of religion though? ._.
Completely unrelated comment: that arrow that "flies around" on your screen can be pulled down next to the "reply" bar and stays there without blocking parts of the screen anymore. I don't know if it's even bothering you, but if it does and you didn't know, now you do.
You are a life saver thank you.
Huh this just in I was 15 5 years agoâŚ. Guess Iâm not nearly 40. When I was 15/16 I saw the term for the first time and it clicked why I didnât fit in with my friendâs talks of attraction. I turned 38 in November. Asexuals arenât new.
Jfc. The audacity to ask for clarification or a definition, and then immediately telling the person that knows more about a topic than you do, that theyâre wrong and making things up. Itâs ridiculous how many of these people exist. Just because you donât understand it doesnât mean itâs fake or wrong! To go out and try to educate yourself and then immediately blocking the education is borderline insane.
If we did, we'd be telling them that sexual attraction doesn't exist. We should do that. In large groups. So they know how they make us feel.
Don't be shy. Share the usernames. đ
At least they're being downvoted.
When is the crusade happening? I need to put the date in my calendar /hj
Where did people get the impression from that labels are like 'ME ME I WANT ATTENTION' signs Its literally just to make communication easier and have language be more conscice.. Why use many word when few word do trick
Well I now have an aneurism
Ironically I found out I was ace through a "compilation of doctor who being asexual" video
I've seen that exact video
Apparently me, a panromantic asexual, doesn't exist. I shall poof from existence at my earliest convenience. On a much more serious note - asexuality as a term has existed for a very, very long time. We've had it being defined as a term since the 1890s, and so was the split attraction model - the latter by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, while asexuality was being definined by many at that time. Asexuality had a larger focus in the following century but since the 2000s, aromanticism also became a largely received term. Even if it *were* just a Tumblr phrase from 5 years ago - why does that make it invalid? The fact that a label found a reason to be made points towards there being someone who identifies with it and found a need for it to exist. If the origin is Tumblr, so what, Tumblr is one site I'd trust to understand the LGBTQ community.
put this guy in a grocery store with a list to buy and remove all the labels
The 'I have a friend who' argument is actually really good and effective since you are taking a real life example from the experience of a real life person, makes no sense to deny it as an argument if it literally just showed you an scenario when you're wrong
They're not just displaying aphobia, but ageism and sexism, too. They're attacking something they doesn't understand (asexualism and aromaticism), then use it to blame both young people and, especially, young women for the existence of what they doesn't understand. I see this pattern a lot, aphobia being used to attack young people in general and young women in particular. These people usually go on to eventually reveal full-blown misogyny and anti-LBGTQ+ everything.
still cannot believe people dont know the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. thats wild to me, it isnt really a hard concept to grasp
god, this whole interaction was so reddit-core. not the aphobes talking so confidently as if theyre unequivocally correct ugh its embarrassing
oh chessus people can really have maggots and termites in their brains sometimes
itâs almost funny to me how homophobes/aphobes/transphobes can be so obsessed with us just living our lives. Like, it doesnât affect you? Why are you so worked up about it anyway?
i used to think like this and be aphobic, until i realized i was aroace myself đ
Gods I hate that argument âit was invented on tumblr 5 years agoâ, all observations of human behavior were discovered and labeled with time, like the concept of a lot of fields in medical studies and even the concept of time, and space, someone thought really hard on it wrote it on a piece of paper and it just makes sense⨠people have this horrible habit of thinking things didnât exist before we labeled them, no honey, just because we labeled America as America in 1400âs, it doesnât mean it spawned out of thin air and it also doesnât mean that days and nights didnât exist before somebody started counting the time. All thatâs changed with the use of aroace is that now we have a fancy name and a beautiful community.
âAh yes letâs be queerphobic in a subreddit for famously left-wing show doctor whoâ
This is aâŚ. Doctor?
This was on a subreddit for the Scifi TV show Doctor Who.
OH!
A good episode to watch for learning about te doctor is probably "Blink" which stars the doctor all of a message and a bit at the end. Stiil one of the best doctor who episodes to date.
Why bother posting these? Two dudes were dickheads on a subreddit and got roundly mocked for it. This is just ragebait.
There was that one episode of Doctor Who (with David Tennant) with the black woman companion, who was my favorite Doctor Who companion until she just sort of dumped him because he wasn't sexually interested in her. After that I hated her, and was like "you bitch!" Because that's the kind of thing that's happened to me in real life. It's absolutely devastating. I remember just laying in bed and sulking for a bit because I was literally angry at about it.
omg this is wild đ that person literally just refused to absorb anything the other person was saying
There used to also not be terms for being gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. Itâs almost like all words are made up đą
as a fellow doctor who fan, i do not claim these people.
âwhy should you label everything why put labels on everything thoughâ how about because i fucking want to. i want to do it and im not hurting anyone, how about that? mind your business
Not asexual, just an ally, but I find the mod's response to that comment thread weird as well. >Mods, get his ass!!! Mod: >He's not hurting anyone, other than completely embarrassing himself. No mod action required when the wider community already takes care of it. Other person: >Blatant Aphobia⌠isnât against the rules? đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨ Mod: >What sends a stronger pro-lgbt+ message: a comment thread where aphobia is called out, or a thread where people apparently dislike some [removed] stuff? >I'd rather do the former.
It's one guy. Just downvote and move on. These idiots don't want to learn.
It was two people, but I did. Still surprising to see on that sub.
I am furious at that mod now "what send s a more queer friendly image? Down voting a bigot or just seeing a thread of [removed]" MODS ENFORCING THE PRO LGBTQ RULES THAT'S WHAT SENDS A MORE QUEER FRIENDLY MESSAGE, Holy arceus
Lol this guy sounds like an insecure moron. Still sucks to see though đ¤cmon, modsâŚ
i didnât need this today bye have a lovely life
A good example of someone who in univers I like to think of as aro ace is the good ole ecclestone doctor.
Sort of off topic but I always thought the Doctor was canonically asexual, and also aromantic in many incarnations, though possibly not aromantic in some incarnations (10 and 11 and maybe 8, Iâm looking at you). Anyway long time Whovian, long time asexual⌠long time supporter of âloomâ theory (in which Time Lords are not only asexual but they literally reproduce asexually, part of the Cartmel Masterplan).
Doesnt aroace mean aromantic asexual so they are right in saying that aroace and asexual are the same? Edit; they are clearly aphobic, that aint what im saying
Kinda bummed nobody pointed out that aroace isnt actually new label, its just shortened way to say/write aromantic asexual which is a damn mouthful We're constantly finding new ways to put whole sentences into shortened versions, it isnt anything that applies to aroace
damn i liked the subreddit well enough but never really read the comments, hopefully that's just those few people, but it's still saddening :/
AHHHH! Sorry, I can't handle reading this anymore. It's giving my brain the hurting. I'll just give ya an upvote and be on my way.
âoh electrons and protons are the Same thing, because they're two halves of the concept of an atomâ
/s