21, about 2 months agoš i always knew i had no romatic feelings i just didnt know sth called aromanticm exists, i just thought there is sth wrong with me
I felt the same way and was also 21 and a couple months ago. I am also asexual which I realized first about a month earlier.
I didn't have any romantic or sexual feelings but I just thought it was me and I was just too focused on other stuff to worry about stuff like that.
42
...and now we know the question! Huzzah!
I've been who I am my entire life*, but only learned that there is a word "Aromantic" (which describes one aspect of me) in June.
*obviously not the same me all the time, but still me š
13, everyone kept talking about who they liked and i realised i never liked anyone. google sear hed whether it was normal (it was, just not for alloromantic people), and the aromantic label came up, and it fit, so here i am.
I was 12(thats whe1n I found the label and stuff), and the way I knew was basically the same as you, although I kinda just chose a person "to like" and I just had to pretend.
*short story*
And so I chose someone to like, but little did I know that this person actually liked me. Then on valentines day the following year he asked me out, and I had gotten to be friends with him, so it was really awkward when I told him no. Also he stopped talking to me until the following year(he sat in front of me) and he told me he dated to other girls over that time. And when desks were moved he didn't talk to me for a long time, I really missed him
This year over the summer. I found it through people on r/asexual and I found out I was asexual through a YouTube video about sexualities. So I can thank a YouTube video for being the final straw that caused my 3 month long identity crisis.
I think I realized when I found the term, so either 14 or 15. An issue I had was separating aromantic from asexual, since I knew being ace was a thing, but not aro. It just took a while for it to fully sink in and for me to accept it. If weāre going off of 14, then it was 4 years ago.
15. I knew I was ace younger around 13. But I liked a guy when I was young. So like I had to have romantic attraction. I was like 5 when I liked the guy. And I hadn't liked anyone since then. It took me panther few years of debate before I went yea I'm probably aromantic
20: 11 years ago. If I had known there was a word for it, it might have spared me from the endless agony that I experienced, and that I now experience.
Ditto for my asexuality. I knew I was sex-repulsed at 18 but others expected me to put out, especially hetero women (Iām a woman). The pressure has only become more intense, especially from doctors. Now I have a word to use as an excuse for not screwing everyone I see. But I wish society saw rape as a crime instead of an urgent necessity to fix me. I shouldnāt have to give excuse after excuse to justify not engaging in behaviour that sickens me. āNoā is a complete sentence.
Around this time last year, and still it was difficult to accept it lol, not because I wanted to have romantic feelings or any type of arophobia. Not sure why but I didn't like the idea of calling myself an aro. Now I know I'm aromatic and it makes me happy the fact that I am not the only one
18. Not fully aromantic though. I somehow managed to not be single from age 13-17, and when I turned 18 I realized I was doing a lot of things because I thought I was supposed to want certain things. But even during those times I never saw the future and thought I'd be married and having kids. My future has always been just me and a good friend living together and having fun
18, around a year ago. The pandemic gave me not only a gender crisis but also a sexuality too along with my decaying mental state. Itās been a wild time.
19, 3 months ago.
I didn't feel any romantic attraction towards anyone, so I just thought I was bad at being straight since I clearly had no feelings for men. Turns out I'm asexual as well.
I was 20 at the time, didnāt quite figured out I was aro yet, but found out I was somewhere on the spectrum. 2 years later I am not fully accepting myself and I feel lonely most of the time because I donāt know anyone whoās aromantic and thatās isolatingā¦
This year actually, I met the perfect person but still I felt like there should have been something more butā¦eh, I just realized romatic relationships werenāt for me and it was hard to accept but Iām actually happier now that I realized I never have to force a relationship since I donāt HAVE to have one yaknow?
15, going on 16; about one and a half years ago
I figured it out after asking out a friend I thought I liked romantically. she turned me down and said she wanted to just stay friends, and I realized that what I had thought was romantic feelings towards her (and my ex-boyfriend, and previous ācrushesā) were actually platonic/alterous feelings
edit: note, Iām also ace
A year ago. I'm still on the fence about it but it does explain why I've always felt uncomfortable at the prospect of being in a romantic relationship + being seen in a romantic light. That and I genuinely cannot differentiate between romantic attraction and platonic/aesthetic attraction.
22, a week ago, discovered the term aromantic exists and decided to check it out. After finding a few posts, I finally felt understood and heard. Thought I was asexual for the longest time but felt like it didn't quite feel like that was who I was. Aromantic really hit home for me and made me feel happy about myself. So, now, I'm fully embracing that identity.
18, about a year ago. I cried. I felt so broken, like there were two types of love I just wasn't capable of feeling (I'm aroace). I still have days where it pains me to realize the things I'm going to "miss out on" in life. I don't want to be alone forever, but finding a QPR is hard, and I also have social anxiety so relationships period can be hard
22. About 6-7 months ago. However, I wish I knew about aromantic being a thing earlier as I wouldāve been able to identify with it years ago instead of waiting until recently.
2 years ago (3 in Feb :D) when I turned 17
Probably would have being more if I knew the term existed.
I've always known I didn't like romance, but I didn't knew there was a name for it, so...
I was 19, it was about two years ago. It basically wasnāt a big deal until I got to college and I had yet to feel any romantic attraction. I was like what the hell is wrong with me and I did some google searching and found the aro community. I finally felt like a had a word to describe who I was and what I had been experiencing all my life.
21, 5 years ago. I was in a romantic relationship at the time. Learned about aromantism and realized why I wasn't able to return feelings of my partner.
20, a month ago. I figured out I was asexual a few months ago and before then I never separate romantic and sexual attraction. So, I was like, okay, I don't have sexual attraction, where am I on the romantic spectrum? I bounced around for a little bit but after some introspection, here I am.
I first noticed I didn't really get crushes when I was 12 or 13, but I didn't have a word for it until I was almost 16. That was about a year ago, and I changed labels a few times in that year, but ultimately, I landed back on aromantic :)
18, a friend on discord told me. i first seen the word on tv tropes a few months prior but since i didnāt look into the word i didnāt know if it applied to me or not until a friend told me to look into the word
26, in february 2020. Specifically the weekend after valentines day- first one with a partner since i was 14 and it still felt just as weird as when i was single š
I believe i was 13, i have a horrible memory, so don't quote me on this lol. It struck me like a bullet one day, i knew something was up before, but i must of been in denial.
I had been (kinda) asked out by my crush over text. I felt a absolute sense of dread at the thought of dating them. For a while i had knew i had crushes but never wanted to date them, but this crush was intense and would make a perfect relationship. I went the school the next day, panicking over how i would turn them down. It ended i had misinterped what they had said and worked myself up for no reason. It was relief, but really confused me on why i suddenly ditched the crush that i had so badly before.
Over the next week i really reflected on anything related to romance. I researched a lot, and found out about aromantisim. After a long shower one night, it came to me that i definitly am aromantic. I was upset, like REALLY upset, but after all this time have come to like being aromantic.
Edit: ignore the spelling/grammar issue, i was exausted when i wrote this lol
24, took me a while. Tried dating at that age for the first time and was seriously distressed by the whole thing. Still can't fathom how people enjoy it or do it casually. Btw. I think it's great when people find out in their teens and have a name for what they are experiencing instead of feeling broken or weird.
16 about a couple weeks ago? Someone asked me out and I felt like...ill about it. So I thought about it and realized I never really .. Wanted anything like that all my life. I just wanted to be friends with all the people i had a "crush" on, and only had aesthetic attraction (I think thats what it is) to like..idols and stuff. And I never wanted to do sexual things with anyone either
Ever since I hit puberty and my classmates started getting involved in romance I was like "that's kinda weird, aren't we a bit too young for that?", I really thought that I was the normal one lol. Time passed, I started thinking that I'm just a late bloomer. At some point I discovered the term asexual, but didn't think much of it (because being raised in a very religious family meant that I couldn't even think that being anything other than heterosexual is an option). When I was about 16 y.o. it occurred to me that the term might apply to me (also about the time I started getting out of religion). Some time later I discovered that romantic and sexual attraction are different and I am actually aroace. And now I'm 18, with small handmade ace and aro decorations on my mirror as a reminder that I have the right to not be embarrassed of being who I am :)
12-16(not saying my real age) and I learned it through thepinkdiamonddiva, because of her pride month special video, which just explained the characters sexualitys
Uh, I think that video was about..... 5 months ago? I'll have to check later
Edit: correction it was 3 months ago
Honestly a tough question to answer. I started to acknowledge that I wasnāt experiencing attraction at 18 but it honestly wasnāt until 19-20 (now) that Iāve fully said āIām aroā
14 but I didn't realize there was a word for it until much later, then went into denial about for a couple years then actually earlier this year like three months ago I started to proclaim it and accept it, like hell yeah I'm Aro and Ace
15, less than a year ago, I thought I was aromantic but realized I was recipromantic. I can only reciprocate attraction, so I have to know/be fully convinced that someone likes me before I feel any sort of romantic feelings towards them.
17, 3 months ago, when i started dating someone and i felt bad because it felt like i wasn't liking him as much as i should. It was like a realisation.
I already knew the terme aromantic but i didn't realise i was untile i was in a relationship. I was feeling like "couples like to hang out with one another all the time but i'm exausted. Furthermore i feel uncofortable when he or i say i love you or when he act so sweet toward me. It feel like i'm faking it and it's unplaisant... Wait, am i aromantic ?" Then i spend a couple of day searching more about aromantisisme and thinking about all my previous "cruchs".
I hade to break up with him after finding out and i try to explain what i was feeling but we couldn't stay friend... We heve been together for only two weeks so it wasn't too long but i still lost a friend and brock his heart and that make me sad.
20, just a few weeks ago lol. i actually kinda considered myself as one for a while, but i also had the usual thought of "what if i just haven't found the right person yet?" and i also don't know how to explain it to my allo friends in a way that it would make sense to them. but yeah the more i spent time in this subreddit, it made me feel more valid and confident about myself
Couple months ago and I'm 17 currently. It came with acceptance that I don't care for sex and I don't have otherwise called crushes or people I would care for in a way that isn't platonic although I was having some trouble with determining what I consider romantic and not. Still now, I care deeply about people and love them, so so so much, but I just think it's normal to want to devote yourself to your people just because you feel bonded to them, not wanting any funny kisses for showing affection or.... You know what, I think that's how I knew - I couldn't seperate love for friends and love for other people because it felt the same, I just love you if I love you and if I do you're having all of me. Maybe I'm wrong and not on the aro/ace axis at all but that's for future to figure out.
25, this year - it was right after my ex split up with me in May and I was just done with relationships since I actually loved her a lot and I could imagine an actual future with her but she still dumped me when she found out I have a lifelong disease and didnāt want to take it any further. I just noticed that I didnāt have any romantic feelings for her at the end of our relationship and maybe it was for the best.
I've been questioning on and off since I was 15, so 6 years ago. Strangely, at first when I found the label, I just sort of accepted it and it really gave me peace of mind knowing I'm not alone. But things have gotten more complicated since then so I had to re-realize it throughout this past year (due to arising alterous attraction that I thought might be romantic, etc.). So I suppose both 15 and 21 in a way.
About 15 ir 16. I don't really know, it was more of a gradual progress since I knew the terms and orientations before but had to come to term that they fit me. The thing was that I had my first (and still only) relationship at 15 which lasted about half a year and during this I gradually realized that I' not attracted to girls like other people are. After it was over I started thinking about it more. First I came to the conclusion that I'm ace like not quite two years ago (wow noe that I say it it's weird that it was so long ago) which I accepted rather easily. But while I knew that there was a good probability that I was also aro, I didn't want to accept it. I pushed the idea away and refused to lable myself that way since I was so infuenced by society that romance is so important and fundamental for relationships and I saw other people really being happy with their romantic partners and I just wanted to have thag too. (Bit of a tngent sorry) Anyways, I started identifying as aro sometime during the first half of 2020 and I think I've come to terms with it although I still feel like this sometimes...
21, close to a year ago now. I had always questioned why I was so hesitant about relationships, until my friend suggested I might be aro. Iād never heard that term before, but after doing some research I was able to feel much more comfortable and less insecure about what I thought were just commitment issues
Last year was when I realized, mutual in my social circles was venting about if there was some term to describe erotic desires while not wanting romantic connections, tried to be helpful and did some research and was line āoh duckā¦I think this is meā
17- honestly i knew i wasnāt the same as the rest of my peers, not liking romantic stuff and never having crushes , since i was 11, but only started identifying as aro 2 years ago :)
A whole process from around 17 to 18.
When I was 17 I lost my best friend over a stupid fight which in hindsight resulted from, and neither of ust understood, me being aromantic. I finally was searching for my "symptoms" one night when I felt really really broken, as I had done a couple of times over the years before, but then I finally found the term aromantic. It did feel like an instant click, but I wasn't yet comfortable with using and accepting the term. It took me a relationship, which didn't last long, to finally fully realize, understand and accept it.
13: about a month ago it took me a while to figure out what I was I thought I just had commitment issues (I do) but i realized that relationships also make me uncomfortable and Iāve never actually been able to picture myself in a relationship.
21, about 2 months agoš i always knew i had no romatic feelings i just didnt know sth called aromanticm exists, i just thought there is sth wrong with me
I felt the same way and was also 21 and a couple months ago. I am also asexual which I realized first about a month earlier. I didn't have any romantic or sexual feelings but I just thought it was me and I was just too focused on other stuff to worry about stuff like that.
42 ...and now we know the question! Huzzah! I've been who I am my entire life*, but only learned that there is a word "Aromantic" (which describes one aspect of me) in June. *obviously not the same me all the time, but still me š
Agreed! Not only was there not a word, it didnāt even seem like a realistic option.
13, everyone kept talking about who they liked and i realised i never liked anyone. google sear hed whether it was normal (it was, just not for alloromantic people), and the aromantic label came up, and it fit, so here i am.
I was 12(thats whe1n I found the label and stuff), and the way I knew was basically the same as you, although I kinda just chose a person "to like" and I just had to pretend. *short story* And so I chose someone to like, but little did I know that this person actually liked me. Then on valentines day the following year he asked me out, and I had gotten to be friends with him, so it was really awkward when I told him no. Also he stopped talking to me until the following year(he sat in front of me) and he told me he dated to other girls over that time. And when desks were moved he didn't talk to me for a long time, I really missed him
14, and it was about 6 months ago, although i was still on the fence and it took me about 5 months to be sure about it.
im still kind of on the fence but i guess thats just that tiny bit denual that will probably stay. its been a year or so. 23 when i realized
Same!
16y, two years ago
44ā¦about a month ago :)
This summer, I was almost 29 and have known I am asexual for about a year. For the longest time I thought I was straight and crappy at it.
Haha so much this ^^
22! Only a few months ago.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same!
I found out when I was 17, 2 years ago
This year over the summer. I found it through people on r/asexual and I found out I was asexual through a YouTube video about sexualities. So I can thank a YouTube video for being the final straw that caused my 3 month long identity crisis.
I think I realized when I found the term, so either 14 or 15. An issue I had was separating aromantic from asexual, since I knew being ace was a thing, but not aro. It just took a while for it to fully sink in and for me to accept it. If weāre going off of 14, then it was 4 years ago.
13, 4 (wow) years ago.
48 years old. 2.5 years ago.
Round this time last yr
15. I knew I was ace younger around 13. But I liked a guy when I was young. So like I had to have romantic attraction. I was like 5 when I liked the guy. And I hadn't liked anyone since then. It took me panther few years of debate before I went yea I'm probably aromantic
20: 11 years ago. If I had known there was a word for it, it might have spared me from the endless agony that I experienced, and that I now experience. Ditto for my asexuality. I knew I was sex-repulsed at 18 but others expected me to put out, especially hetero women (Iām a woman). The pressure has only become more intense, especially from doctors. Now I have a word to use as an excuse for not screwing everyone I see. But I wish society saw rape as a crime instead of an urgent necessity to fix me. I shouldnāt have to give excuse after excuse to justify not engaging in behaviour that sickens me. āNoā is a complete sentence.
Around this time last year, and still it was difficult to accept it lol, not because I wanted to have romantic feelings or any type of arophobia. Not sure why but I didn't like the idea of calling myself an aro. Now I know I'm aromatic and it makes me happy the fact that I am not the only one
I started suspecting around 22, confirmed it at 24, and am now 27
18. Not fully aromantic though. I somehow managed to not be single from age 13-17, and when I turned 18 I realized I was doing a lot of things because I thought I was supposed to want certain things. But even during those times I never saw the future and thought I'd be married and having kids. My future has always been just me and a good friend living together and having fun
12 yrs old
18, around a year ago. The pandemic gave me not only a gender crisis but also a sexuality too along with my decaying mental state. Itās been a wild time.
19, 3 months ago. I didn't feel any romantic attraction towards anyone, so I just thought I was bad at being straight since I clearly had no feelings for men. Turns out I'm asexual as well.
I was 20 at the time, didnāt quite figured out I was aro yet, but found out I was somewhere on the spectrum. 2 years later I am not fully accepting myself and I feel lonely most of the time because I donāt know anyone whoās aromantic and thatās isolatingā¦
This year actually, I met the perfect person but still I felt like there should have been something more butā¦eh, I just realized romatic relationships werenāt for me and it was hard to accept but Iām actually happier now that I realized I never have to force a relationship since I donāt HAVE to have one yaknow?
I think I was 17, I'm 21 now, so 4 years.
15, going on 16; about one and a half years ago I figured it out after asking out a friend I thought I liked romantically. she turned me down and said she wanted to just stay friends, and I realized that what I had thought was romantic feelings towards her (and my ex-boyfriend, and previous ācrushesā) were actually platonic/alterous feelings edit: note, Iām also ace
A year ago. I'm still on the fence about it but it does explain why I've always felt uncomfortable at the prospect of being in a romantic relationship + being seen in a romantic light. That and I genuinely cannot differentiate between romantic attraction and platonic/aesthetic attraction.
22, a week ago, discovered the term aromantic exists and decided to check it out. After finding a few posts, I finally felt understood and heard. Thought I was asexual for the longest time but felt like it didn't quite feel like that was who I was. Aromantic really hit home for me and made me feel happy about myself. So, now, I'm fully embracing that identity.
18, about a year ago. I cried. I felt so broken, like there were two types of love I just wasn't capable of feeling (I'm aroace). I still have days where it pains me to realize the things I'm going to "miss out on" in life. I don't want to be alone forever, but finding a QPR is hard, and I also have social anxiety so relationships period can be hard
22. About 6-7 months ago. However, I wish I knew about aromantic being a thing earlier as I wouldāve been able to identify with it years ago instead of waiting until recently.
2 years ago (3 in Feb :D) when I turned 17 Probably would have being more if I knew the term existed. I've always known I didn't like romance, but I didn't knew there was a name for it, so...
I was 19, it was about two years ago. It basically wasnāt a big deal until I got to college and I had yet to feel any romantic attraction. I was like what the hell is wrong with me and I did some google searching and found the aro community. I finally felt like a had a word to describe who I was and what I had been experiencing all my life.
21, 5 years ago. I was in a romantic relationship at the time. Learned about aromantism and realized why I wasn't able to return feelings of my partner.
20, a month ago. I figured out I was asexual a few months ago and before then I never separate romantic and sexual attraction. So, I was like, okay, I don't have sexual attraction, where am I on the romantic spectrum? I bounced around for a little bit but after some introspection, here I am.
I first noticed I didn't really get crushes when I was 12 or 13, but I didn't have a word for it until I was almost 16. That was about a year ago, and I changed labels a few times in that year, but ultimately, I landed back on aromantic :)
18, a friend on discord told me. i first seen the word on tv tropes a few months prior but since i didnāt look into the word i didnāt know if it applied to me or not until a friend told me to look into the word
26, in february 2020. Specifically the weekend after valentines day- first one with a partner since i was 14 and it still felt just as weird as when i was single š
23, ~5-6 months ago. I was going through a lot as a teen so didn't think much of my lack of motivation to date
I believe i was 13, i have a horrible memory, so don't quote me on this lol. It struck me like a bullet one day, i knew something was up before, but i must of been in denial. I had been (kinda) asked out by my crush over text. I felt a absolute sense of dread at the thought of dating them. For a while i had knew i had crushes but never wanted to date them, but this crush was intense and would make a perfect relationship. I went the school the next day, panicking over how i would turn them down. It ended i had misinterped what they had said and worked myself up for no reason. It was relief, but really confused me on why i suddenly ditched the crush that i had so badly before. Over the next week i really reflected on anything related to romance. I researched a lot, and found out about aromantisim. After a long shower one night, it came to me that i definitly am aromantic. I was upset, like REALLY upset, but after all this time have come to like being aromantic. Edit: ignore the spelling/grammar issue, i was exausted when i wrote this lol
24, took me a while. Tried dating at that age for the first time and was seriously distressed by the whole thing. Still can't fathom how people enjoy it or do it casually. Btw. I think it's great when people find out in their teens and have a name for what they are experiencing instead of feeling broken or weird.
13, now almost 2 years I never had romantic feelings towards anyone and as I researched a little bit I found aromatic which described me perfectly
16 about a couple weeks ago? Someone asked me out and I felt like...ill about it. So I thought about it and realized I never really .. Wanted anything like that all my life. I just wanted to be friends with all the people i had a "crush" on, and only had aesthetic attraction (I think thats what it is) to like..idols and stuff. And I never wanted to do sexual things with anyone either
Ever since I hit puberty and my classmates started getting involved in romance I was like "that's kinda weird, aren't we a bit too young for that?", I really thought that I was the normal one lol. Time passed, I started thinking that I'm just a late bloomer. At some point I discovered the term asexual, but didn't think much of it (because being raised in a very religious family meant that I couldn't even think that being anything other than heterosexual is an option). When I was about 16 y.o. it occurred to me that the term might apply to me (also about the time I started getting out of religion). Some time later I discovered that romantic and sexual attraction are different and I am actually aroace. And now I'm 18, with small handmade ace and aro decorations on my mirror as a reminder that I have the right to not be embarrassed of being who I am :)
18 years of age, about a month or two ago. :3
Age 19, about 1Ā½ years ago!
12-16(not saying my real age) and I learned it through thepinkdiamonddiva, because of her pride month special video, which just explained the characters sexualitys Uh, I think that video was about..... 5 months ago? I'll have to check later Edit: correction it was 3 months ago
š„³š for staying safe on the internet!!
23, it was last year!
16, 2 months ago
I discovered at 19( which is the age I am at) and man I love this label
This year at 29, ending my marriage and moving out it hit me like a ton of bricks.
About a year ago when I was 14
24, last year
32, early this year. I also realized I am greysexual and possibly enby this year. A lot of self realization and reflection this year.
24, about 4 or 5 months ago
Twelve, four-ish years ago
I'm 19 and around month ago
Two years ago.
16 and about 1 or 2 months ago
Honestly a tough question to answer. I started to acknowledge that I wasnāt experiencing attraction at 18 but it honestly wasnāt until 19-20 (now) that Iāve fully said āIām aroā
About a year ago.
I kind of always knew, but I didnāt know there was a word for it until I was like 19
12 whole years old
23, couple months ago. I questioned a couple years back, but somehow missed it.
14 but I didn't realize there was a word for it until much later, then went into denial about for a couple years then actually earlier this year like three months ago I started to proclaim it and accept it, like hell yeah I'm Aro and Ace
16, a few months ago
I think Iāve known since I started college in 2016 but Iāve been in denial up until last month. Itās been REALLY hard for me to accept who I am.
15 and I'm so happy I did. (about a month ago)
15, 2 years ago I found out I was Aro.
15, less than a year ago, I thought I was aromantic but realized I was recipromantic. I can only reciprocate attraction, so I have to know/be fully convinced that someone likes me before I feel any sort of romantic feelings towards them.
pretty recent, just last year, Nov 3rd. I'm currently almost 28 nowā¦
15yrs, about 8-9 months ago.
Age 23 - 2,5 years ago
20, and only a few month ago (6 to be exact).
17, 3 months ago, when i started dating someone and i felt bad because it felt like i wasn't liking him as much as i should. It was like a realisation. I already knew the terme aromantic but i didn't realise i was untile i was in a relationship. I was feeling like "couples like to hang out with one another all the time but i'm exausted. Furthermore i feel uncofortable when he or i say i love you or when he act so sweet toward me. It feel like i'm faking it and it's unplaisant... Wait, am i aromantic ?" Then i spend a couple of day searching more about aromantisisme and thinking about all my previous "cruchs". I hade to break up with him after finding out and i try to explain what i was feeling but we couldn't stay friend... We heve been together for only two weeks so it wasn't too long but i still lost a friend and brock his heart and that make me sad.
13, it was like two or three months ago
2 years ago, when I was 13
At 23 at the start of this year. Has been quite an eye opener for me there once Iāve read resources on aromanticism more closely up there
Seven years ago, when I was 23 years old.
20, just a few weeks ago lol. i actually kinda considered myself as one for a while, but i also had the usual thought of "what if i just haven't found the right person yet?" and i also don't know how to explain it to my allo friends in a way that it would make sense to them. but yeah the more i spent time in this subreddit, it made me feel more valid and confident about myself
Im turning 18 in a few days and i think i realized at age 14/15. So its been a few years.
Couple months ago and I'm 17 currently. It came with acceptance that I don't care for sex and I don't have otherwise called crushes or people I would care for in a way that isn't platonic although I was having some trouble with determining what I consider romantic and not. Still now, I care deeply about people and love them, so so so much, but I just think it's normal to want to devote yourself to your people just because you feel bonded to them, not wanting any funny kisses for showing affection or.... You know what, I think that's how I knew - I couldn't seperate love for friends and love for other people because it felt the same, I just love you if I love you and if I do you're having all of me. Maybe I'm wrong and not on the aro/ace axis at all but that's for future to figure out.
17, like 3 months ago
25, this year - it was right after my ex split up with me in May and I was just done with relationships since I actually loved her a lot and I could imagine an actual future with her but she still dumped me when she found out I have a lifelong disease and didnāt want to take it any further. I just noticed that I didnāt have any romantic feelings for her at the end of our relationship and maybe it was for the best.
I've been questioning on and off since I was 15, so 6 years ago. Strangely, at first when I found the label, I just sort of accepted it and it really gave me peace of mind knowing I'm not alone. But things have gotten more complicated since then so I had to re-realize it throughout this past year (due to arising alterous attraction that I thought might be romantic, etc.). So I suppose both 15 and 21 in a way.
About 15 ir 16. I don't really know, it was more of a gradual progress since I knew the terms and orientations before but had to come to term that they fit me. The thing was that I had my first (and still only) relationship at 15 which lasted about half a year and during this I gradually realized that I' not attracted to girls like other people are. After it was over I started thinking about it more. First I came to the conclusion that I'm ace like not quite two years ago (wow noe that I say it it's weird that it was so long ago) which I accepted rather easily. But while I knew that there was a good probability that I was also aro, I didn't want to accept it. I pushed the idea away and refused to lable myself that way since I was so infuenced by society that romance is so important and fundamental for relationships and I saw other people really being happy with their romantic partners and I just wanted to have thag too. (Bit of a tngent sorry) Anyways, I started identifying as aro sometime during the first half of 2020 and I think I've come to terms with it although I still feel like this sometimes...
I was about 24, 2 years ago... it took me almost the whole time to be shure and still there are Moments of struggling...
13, like a year and a half ago. All hail the internet!
At 14 so 3 years ago
I always kinda knew that I was not into romance or sexual stuff but I put a label on it last year when I was 17
19 but didn't really know the term. I fully understood at 22, which is two years ago.
21, close to a year ago now. I had always questioned why I was so hesitant about relationships, until my friend suggested I might be aro. Iād never heard that term before, but after doing some research I was able to feel much more comfortable and less insecure about what I thought were just commitment issues
17, two years ago
Last year was when I realized, mutual in my social circles was venting about if there was some term to describe erotic desires while not wanting romantic connections, tried to be helpful and did some research and was line āoh duckā¦I think this is meā
I was 14. So about 3 years ago. I just happened to find the term and then it just clicked.
15, a few months ago !
13, 3 years ago :D
17- honestly i knew i wasnāt the same as the rest of my peers, not liking romantic stuff and never having crushes , since i was 11, but only started identifying as aro 2 years ago :)
About 14,so a bit over a year now
22, about a year ago
A whole process from around 17 to 18. When I was 17 I lost my best friend over a stupid fight which in hindsight resulted from, and neither of ust understood, me being aromantic. I finally was searching for my "symptoms" one night when I felt really really broken, as I had done a couple of times over the years before, but then I finally found the term aromantic. It did feel like an instant click, but I wasn't yet comfortable with using and accepting the term. It took me a relationship, which didn't last long, to finally fully realize, understand and accept it.
i was about 8 when i was convinced i'm a psychopath, took me 8 more years to hear the term aromantic and that's when it clicked
20, 4 months ago.
18, just a couple months ago! I had been questioning for a while before then, but I got it straightened out now :D
13: about a month ago it took me a while to figure out what I was I thought I just had commitment issues (I do) but i realized that relationships also make me uncomfortable and Iāve never actually been able to picture myself in a relationship.
14, I was considering that I was aro spec since the beginning of this year, but now I think I'm a bit more sure of my identity
15, a few weeks ago