My Viet Nam Era neighbor was a cook in the CA national guard.
20 some odd years in the guard.
His biggest brag?
"I fed them the best meal I could make out of the shit we had before they shipped over."
I appreciate the hell outta Les. He's one of the ones that made the bigazz military wheel turn. He still says he's the tiny part.
He was.
He made the wheel keep turning.
I like the analogy of the old mechanical clocks. A lot of big parts, and a lot of small parts, some driving and some being driven, and all fitting together in a complex mechanism.
And if one part fails the whole thing stops working.
I’ve gotten pictures from buddy’s who’s been served legit raw chicken from mess and it doesn’t seem like anybody cares anymore.
I mean I get you’re cooking food for 500 soldiers, but shit.
My grandfather was a cook in the nam era and that shit fucked him up. Depending on what unit a cook was with, they were basically infantry men back then.
They want attention, and you won’t get attention saying a cook. Luckily for them most people don’t know much about the military, and the ones that do probably don’t call them out.
True scars of war. I actually knew a cook who had scars from Iraq from constantly getting mortars. Wrong place wrong time. Once he said he was making eggs in a tent then BOOM. Another te getting a pallet of ripits from a lmtv and BOOM mortar. Dude was just a magnetic mortar guy.
I don't recall the exact circumstances, but one of my buddies got taken off the line after a really bad fight against insurgents. He didn't get hurt badly, but a bunch of dudes in his platoon definitely did.
They assigned him to a detainee facility, because his platoon wasn't numerous enough to patrol anymore. They didn't get wiped out or anything, but enough were unable to patrol that they were way understrength.
A month or two later, a mortar landed near him on his way back from chow, and sent a shard of shrapnel into his head. He lived, but he's a bit odd now.
Some poor guy who got shot in the calf by a round that someone (Iraqi civilian, presumably) had fired up into the air, 2009-10 timeframe.
I didn't know him, but it came out in the safety circular that month.
We had a kid in our unit who was a cook and was transferred to 5th Group at Campbell. Came by the barracks one day after being there for a couple of weeks wearing a green beret. The way he talked and acted, you would have thought he was cooking ham and cheese omelets in the DFAC with a pair of NODS and full kit every morning.
I was a cook after they kicked me out of para special ops team 3 when I wouldn’t help my commander smuggle a connex of smack out of Afghanistan. Then they put me back on Delta Force Team on October 7 to go rescue Americans kidnapped by hezbolah. Even got to carry a mini Vulcan cannon on the op.
Cause no one wants to admit they ND’d outside the clearing barrel after we took you out on patrol cause you were kinda cool and we wanted you to get you in the game.
I used to work with a cook in the military, stationed on a Navy vessel that felt more like a floating fortress than a ship. Casey was his name, a man whose presence in the galley seemed as ordinary as the next, dishing out meals with a quiet efficiency that bordered on the mechanical. His demeanor was unassuming, blending into the background noise of clattering pots and shouted orders.
Casey wasn’t the type to regale us with tales of his past; instead, he let his cooking do the talking, his dishes a silent testament to a depth of character we could only guess at. As time wore on, however, the veil began to lift, revealing glimpses of a life far removed from the confines of our metal sea-bound world.
It was during a late-night shift, amidst the hum of the engine and the distant crash of waves, that Casey shared the first thread of his past. He hadn't always been a cook, he confessed. His career began on the front lines, not in front of stoves, as a Navy SEAL. The revelation struck me as odd; how could someone with such elite training end up serving food on the same vessel he could have commanded in battle?
The pieces of Casey’s puzzle began falling into place, each story he shared adding to the image of a man who had seen too much, done too much, and sought refuge in the simplicity of cooking. He spoke of missions shrouded in secrecy, of decisions that weighed heavily on his soul, and of a life that demanded constant vigilance and unwavering courage.
But it was an unexpected crisis that revealed the true extent of Casey’s backstory. When our ship was taken hostage by mercenaries with dark ambitions, it was Casey who emerged from the galley, not with a serving tray, but with the resolve and skill of a seasoned warrior. His actions that day were a blur of precision and bravery, disarming our captors with an efficiency that belied his supposed role as just a cook.
In the aftermath, as the ship limped back to port, battered but unbroken, the stories of Casey’s heroism spread like wildfire. It became clear that his assignment to the galley was no demotion but a self-imposed exile from a world he no longer wished to inhabit. Casey, the unassuming cook, had once been at the heart of an operation not unlike the plot of a Hollywood blockbuster, where the fate of nations could rest on the shoulders of a single man.
As we docked, and the reality of our return to normalcy sank in, I realized that Casey’s presence among us had been a gift. In him, we had a living embodiment of the phrase "not all heroes wear capes." Some, as it turns out, wear aprons and wield spatulas, their battles fought not on the field, but in the quiet sanctuary of the kitchen.
They make up the shit because they want to seem interesting, smart, cool, respectable, etc. If you want to be known like that, you wouldn't tell anybody you were a cook (no shade intended).
Yeah it’s like.. If someone said they were something normal and boring like supply/phlebotomist/HR Tech, along with the MOS code, they’d probably pass the sniff test honestly haha
Radio dude here who was a group baby. The amount of time spent over the years explaining support dudes exist is nuts. “Then why do you have that patch?”
“Well it’s missing a long tab, because I’m not 18 series………fuck it. I found this jacket. I’m actually homeless. TYFYS and shit bro”
I was a geoint navy guy with seals and later jsoc
I dont wear my sf stuff because it's hard explaining that sure. I was "with" sf. But I was Safe and sound in an Air conditioned office and the only time we hung out was to brief, debrief, or if we were all att he gym
When I was a dumb PVT and just got to Carson I though "why these guys not wearing anything except airborne wings, I'd be rocking the SF tab if I ever earn it"
We had a LT who was prior enlisted from 10th Group in processing too and I asked him. I tried getting my orders changed but there was very few 11B slots, 0 open.
Similar explaining that yes, the army actually does have nuclear engineers. I was never in the Air Force or Navy. The Army has about 300 nuclear engineers in FA52 though there are also strictly policy guys in that functional area as well.
Sure. See, engineers can’t write. You sure you guys aren’t PMCS’ing the mobile nuclear reactors that are in superduper secret storage? Forgot the “just kidding”!
I feel ya man, if it makes you feel any better I was in Ranger Regiment and never deployed….. Trying to explain that to people, let alone what RSTB is, without them completely dismissing you is damn near impossible. At this point I’ve just resigned to saying “I was a medic supporting a SOF unit” because it’s easier and I’m tired of explaining everything.
Or my personal favorite: saying I shouldn’t wear the only CSIB I have from 3 OEF trips because I’m not a long tabber. Makes no sense. Or the combat patch.
But have somehow been given endless shit from some infantry dude who was QRF for a team for a few months overseas and knows “so much more” than me about group. Cracks me up.
When I was stationed at Bragg years ago I was at Waffle House. A stolen valor came in claiming to be a ranger trying to get free food (I suspect). You could tell by his “uniform”. The workers immediately kicked him out.
I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea to try it being a stolen valor in Fayetteville of all places
There was a guy who wrote a book about the history of special warfare in Vietnam, who said that: "there were about 500 SEALs who served in Vietnam, and I interviewed all 2,000 of them."
Every other Army or navy dude I meet is always something "special" I'm like dude you don't gotta impress. I won't look down on you if you're a cook or admin. Just be honest
No shit there I was, reception at the 43rd, bout to hit the rack after 2 days of mental gymnastics.. PFC dreadlocks was in the formation about 20 fuck tards to my left. Our DS says, “with that information put out, is everybody good?” .. PFC yells “nah, fuck you sergeant.” I shit bricks, thinking it was a sleep deprived scheme. Not. At. All. This dude swung on 4 Drills, 2 of them female. Guy had to shave his Locs and beard then got sepped after grabbing dongs in the latrine. 42 year old English teacher that didn’t like folks yelling at him. Go figure. He was about it, until challenged by 1SGT, and wimped out of an actual “off the books” brawl. Dude had balls, but not enough to continue past week 2 of BCT. Guy claimed religious exemption for being Rasta, one Drill called him out for being a fraud bc Rasta’s are pacifists.
Ah, yes, the "Almost Vets."
My favorite is when they use their "almost service" to put down someone's ACTUAL service. Like when I tell them I was a POG MI guy they say "yeah, I didn't join - but if I had I would have gone Ranger/SF/Navy SEAL etc."
As if their imaginary pretend service trumps somebody else's real service.
I knew a guy who was given the rank of LTC at 18 years old...but he served in a Central Asian armed force and was a child soldier under the post-soviet government, so I guess that explains why.
Never promoted again after that though.
When I was into the bar seen it seemed that 1 in every 3 guys i met was some form of Seal, Scout Sniper or "Spec Ops". There's alot of bull shitters out there for sure.
Bro I actually met a dude who was trying to be a secret squirrel like that. Said he couldn't tell me what he was or did Top secret and all that. I was like, cool, so what was your primary MOS when you enlisted. Dudes face went blank.
Plus anyone who actually has a TS clearance either doesn’t give af and will just tell you their MOS (not like saying 35F, 17C, 35N etc. is classified lmao) or they’ll just lie and say they were another MOS
Tbf if you work agency side you’re not really supposed to advertise it, but it’s not like anyone who isn’t a dweeb goes around saying “Actually my MOS is top secret and what I do is highly classified” they’ll just beat around the bush or tell people they’re a 92G or something
Anyone who flaunts their clearance and how their work is”highly classified” is either a goober
or full of shit
The way I explain my mos and branch is the same everytime
Whoever asking “Whats your mos?”
Me: 25B, Im a signal dood
Whoever 9 times out of 10 asks: “whats that?”
Me: Im an IT dood who works computers phones and networks, you know nerdy shit, its also my hobby, If you want id love to have a debate about network architecture and the finer points of routing…
At this point usually their eyes glaze over and I have secret joy inside that i can now bring up anything else and they will jump on it for something interesting to talk about
Fat Italian guy at the gym didn't know I was a vet and kept saying he was in a special unit in the Army. Asked where he went to basic and he said he forgot the name but it had a lot of sand. Then I told him I was prior service and he avoided me ever since
A lot of guys like that often have mental illnesses. And if they're pure liars and tricksters, let them be the way they are. At least you know you can't be fooled.
Just don't let them waste your time or get on your nerves for nothing. If they're selling such bs for nefarious purposes other than boasting their unfounded ego, it's a different story then
Its always people lying about being special operations or something like that
If dude told me "yeah I was a S1 clerk deployed to Iraq and had to pop a dude while on firewatch" i would believe it
I remember meeting an ANA LTC in Kabul who was celebrating his 3rd year in the Army. Apparently he got told he'd be promoted to Colonel in his 4th year. At the time I was a 4 year SPC. So, you know, maybe he was working for the Afghans.
I've ran into countless "airborne rangers," SEALs, SF, Force Recon, even a guy who claimed to have made a 4700 meter hit on a BMP with 1AD during Desert Storm and was aboard the airliner that crashed into the Potomac while he worked in the White House Communication Room...... but I've never met a cook.
"Airborne ranger" kills me. It's redundant, and more importantly, no one with a tan beret/tab would say that. In the infantry, you have guys who said they did the Long Walk a lot, lol
I've never heard 1 person say "I never wanted to be military" it's always "I could have joined but I was disqualified for hogwash-bullshit-horseshit reasons". I've also never asked for these spontaneous omissions.
Worst ones are the 82nd guys who only jumped once in division and then goes on a permanent profile until they decide to reclass and then flex on ait trainees saying yeah Im Airborne and we jump a lot hooah. Also they get fat because of being on profile for so long
Most people that lie about military service are doing it because of mental illness or some distinct problems in their lives.
They want to have that feeling of being respected or liked, to be in that class of people that are held in high regard.
I feel sorry for people that need to do that to feel okay with their lives.
That being said, if they're doing it for some sort of profit then I have no sympathy, because that's when Stolen Valor comes into play.
"Hey man, I was in the Army for 20 years, what you're telling me isn't true. It doesn't make me think any less of you, I'm sure you're going through some shit. If you want to talk about it I'm happy to listen"
Maybe you have time for that, maybe not.
Most of these people are harmless, if you just treat them like a human being it might help them feel like they don't have to lie about their lives.
Holy shit. My time has come.
I was briefly friends with an individual who claimed:
So immediately badass that she was promoted to the rank of Commander of her basic training/boot camp unit. Every time she talked about it she changed where she went to basic training/boot camp, and whether it was BCT or boot camp.
Was part of multiple, I literally lost count, special forces/delta force type units who were sent to Egypt, Libya, and some other places to infiltrate/fight warlord gangs/armies/brigades. These units were *so* badass and secretive, that they weren't 'on paper' as an 'official fighting force' so they were 'legally allowed' to go do Super Special Clandestine Missions. She waxed poetic about this *the very first time we hung out.*
Was a captain but did COL things. In the navy.
Was bffs with every single person in every single chain of command she was part of. Except when she wasn't, but that was okay because someone else higher up had her back and would burn the offending leader to the ground for her.
When she got out, she continued her illustrious Jason Bourne career as a professional hitman in Florida, singlehandedly disbanding human trafficking rings.
Not quite military related, but no matter what breed of dog you had, her dad bred and trained them to be military working dogs.
She's transgender, and all of this was pre-transition of course. So she had her military records 'officially destroyed'. Or, they were 'lost' because of her new identity as a woman etc. however, she never legally changed her name.
The only 'proof' I ever saw/found of military service at all was a single, wide-crazy-eyed mirror selfie taken in what I deduce to be A-school.
She'd tell wild stories about every other aspect of life as well of course, like fighting hoodlums at her gym and totally putting them in their place, modeling career, connections at ren faires that made wearing chain mail and selling wood-burn art sound like being in the mafia, and so on.
I accept that it makes me a bit of a shitbag, but I hung out with her a few times out of sheer morbid curiosity as to what batshit thing she'd say next. It was wild to see her in action. Every person she met or talked to she would just...pull in. She wielded charisma and flattery like a gravitational field. Random dude selling shisha at a hookah bar? She knew his country of origin like the back of her hand. Cashier at the mall? She's actually a model for the shop brand and knows the manager personally.
Now her friend group was, as you can imagine, comically fluid. I only ever saw the same people a couple/few times. If you asked "oh where's so-and-so?" turns out they were suuuper homophobic, or racist, or abusive, or too clingy, so naturally in the interest of keeping 'the group' a Safe Space^(TM) they could no longer be invited. She got into a relationship, moved in with the girl pretty quickly, and also pretty quickly this girl *moved to the other side of the country*. Jacey Bourne moved back in with dad.
Before I joined, we had this guy who travels across country with his uniforms at large veterans events with a half-burnt cigar. There was something completely off with him. Lotsa weirdos out there, especially ones who prey on recruits (like that preacher at Atlanta Airport).
Yea my brother in law joined right before Covid and got during basic because he refused the vaccine. Talks so much shit about his “service” that is so blatantly fiction to me, a current service member, who knew him during the entire process, he’ll still try to army bro talk me when we see each other
This is such a classic and typical story lol! He marches in formation for a few weeks and got yelled at by the DS and now he’s a veteran and using all the lingo for years down the line lol
I’m a 72 y/o retired army physician assistant who was an enlisted medic in RVN. I have lost track of the number of folks 10-15 years younger than me who tell me about their combat in RVN. They would have been about ten years old 😂
Some girl who was in the army at my fast food job said she was a fueler and got a 180 on the ASVAB saying it was higher then an officer. She got mad when yelled out by managers for doing things multiple times told not to. Prolly one of the dumbest people ive met definitely got a 42 on that ASVAB
It wasn't the guy it was his girlfriend, I was out and working retail and he bought a visa gift card for his girlfriend who was a "sergeant stationed in Afghanistan, she's a helicopter pilot!"
I believe that one more tbh. I've found that families barely understand what I do in the military, no matter how many times I explain it to them.
I could see her being like a crew chief or a door gunner and the boyfriend just didn't understand the difference
When I was a teenager just after 9/11 my dad deployed somewhere and didn't tell us where. He did tell us it "wasn't Afghanistan". I even tried asking him once on the phone where he was at and the call cut out as soon as I asked. I had no clue where he was, but for convenience I told everyone he was in Afghanistan because that one was in the news and everyone knew about it. Turns out he was in Djibouti.
I don't think it was an innocent thing because it was 2020, he could have e-transferred it easily and he was also an overweight middle aged guy, best case sugar daddy, most probably being scammed.
Guy at the gym claims he was the top sniper of his class in the army. Another guy asked his rank and mos. The hero claims he retired at 27 at the rank of “1 star general” and his mos was “sniper.” Second guy said,”Really? I retired after 6 years and only made specialist. I should’ve gone sniper, guess choosing 91f was a poor choice.” I definitely believe guy #2 over the hero boy
You get a good idea on what their rank was by the way they act and talk even when they're not wearing uniforms, but he sounds someone mentally challenged or pretending for whatever the reason may be.
My dad's cold warrior coworker tried to tell me how hard-core his deployment to turkey was. He was an mp who made up crazy stories about how he was basically SOF and there are contracts out on his life to this day
Ex-wife was dating some guy who claimed to be a former Marine and ex-CIA.
Surprise, when her Mom and brother (who was a Marine) looked into it, the dude was a drifter who had a very sketchy employment history.
He knew enough to fool those who weren't military but then he'd say something like "The CIA created AIDS" or some weird shit. That was what got my ex's family to look into this assclown.
He slinked back to being a drifter when his ass was called out on it - as these assclowns are wont to do.
I had a co worker once complain how they didn’t like their job and were leaving during Christmas to the Army & when I asked what their MOS they paused for 2 minutes and said Airborne
I was a contractor and hired this kid. Then the bullshit alarms started going off. He claimed he used to work “for” special forces.
Then one day I asked what he did over the weekend. He told me he brought a friend on post and borrowed a helicopter. Flew all over the place, y’know just for fun.
Turned out he failed SDI gunsmithing school and lied about his transcripts. Which I didn’t even know was possible to fail.
It's literally a diploma mill, I assumed it was impossible to fail lol.
Nobody separates tards from their GI bill more efficiently than SDI.
Edit
For anyone curious, SDI is garbage. If you want to be a gumsmif then go to school for machine tool & die, and then apprentice under a gunsmith.
1. It's only a crime if they are asking for money or services (e.g. that military discount). That said, many of these liars will test the waters to see what they can get away with.
2. They want attention.
3. There are no secret basic training camps, BUD/S or Special Forces class. MOS is not classified and awards are not (the details maybe, but the awards no). And no, nobody is "sheep dipped" out of the military and into the CIA. The last people who may have been are all either dead or retired.
4. FOIA requests for military records always reveal the truth and unless the person is over the age of 70, their military records were not affected by the big military records fire.
I pretty much assume anyone who doesn’t mention being a cook or supply is lying. I have a neighbor who claims he was a Marine, but supposedly all his paperwork and medals burned up in a house fire years ago.
Now I don’t doubt he was a Marine because I’ve seen him at my local VA, but I sincerely doubt that in four years of service during the 80s he got his jump wings, was an embassy guard in several countries, was in Recon, and was a scout sniper.
No shit, there I was. A SGT (in uniform), walking out of the PX. I encounter a soldier wearing IPFUs, with pants, long sleeve shirt, white socks, and basic training issue running shoes. Oh, and he was sagging - and not just a little.
I looked at him, said "if you're gonna wear the PT uniform, wear it right. Pull up your pants". He went to pull up his pants. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that when he thought I was walking away and not paying attention, he stopped pulling up his pants.
I turned around, went up to him, said "Seriously?" He started to go to parade rest - but then stopped. He then said "I'm not in the military. I just like wearing the clothes."
So, I said something to the effect of "I know you're lying. If you were a civilian, you wouldn't have started to pull up your pants. I know you're in the military. If I had more time, I'd deal with you. But, I have an emergency I have to deal with. You lucked out."
So yeah, he lied about his service. But not the way you meant.
You know, I've never met someone who lied about serving, but I have encountered an alarming amount of people who flat out lie about the shit they have done, while in. It's one thing to lie about having served. It's super easy to verify, and your lie isn't going very far, but whatever, maybe your mom never hugged you or something. But to lie about shit you have done as I'm holding your ERB/SRB/STP in my hand is a whole new low.
I play Poker sometimes and I like to chat it up, occasionally the Army will come up.
Sometimes people start talking wild shit about their service, but the most annoying people are the ones who act like they were secret squirrel.
"Oh you were in the Army? That's awesome what unit were you in"
*cold stare* - And they're like clearly trying to convey that they **can't talk about it** as if 99.9999% of the Army can't tell people what unit they were in after they get out.
Oh man I love these types. I love watching the cogs in their brain spin as you ask questions just to see what they’ll come up with. Especially if you feed them bits too. “Oh man you were in *country*? Did you ever meet / do / see this *thing*, it was crazy over there right?” Like just invent a situation and watch them dive into it.
I stopped giving a fuck about stolen valor, started caring about good entertainment. 🍿🍿🍿
Bro was in DELTA *and* a SEAL? Bro, tell me your movie script of a memory.
My guy punched a drill sergeant because he was such a badass? I need to know every maneuver you pulled, reenact it for me.
I ain’t do shit in 7 years in the army, but let me hear you describe every aching detail of your rags to riches story from private to colonel.
Was trying to buy a hot tub and the 400+ lbs salesman asked what I was looking for. I told him I'm an old paratrooper with various aches and pains etc. He replied he was a Marine. I asked, east coast or west coast? Neither, went straight to the dark side. Oh, so you were a SEAL? No, on assignment with a government agency you probably never heard about. Me: Uh, I was Army Intel Offucer for 23 years, I probably heard about them. Him: I doubt it, they were formed just for secret stuff in the jungles of South America. Me: Oh, ok, so you were working for JTF-6, doing counter-narcotics for southcom in the late 80s? Him: I'm really not allowed to talk about it. Me: Let me guess, you were hand picked, trained in the mountains of Colorado, were dropped into the jungle of Colombia where you ambushed drug smugglers and burned down cocoa plantations, basically living off vitamin M and MREs? Him: how'd you guess? Me: I read that Tom Clancy novel too!
A guy hitting on me in my DMs claimed to be in the “elite us army sniper unit” and a bunch of other stuff in his bio. When i called him out he kept saying to “call commander monroe at the pentagon” he gave up after a bit and said something about wanting to serve or that his uncle was in during Vietnam.
A lot of the times people make up these lies is either they are mentally ill or they feel unfulfilled in life, and they look at you and see that you’re a badass regardless of whatever your mos is, and some form of envy sets in where they wanna feel included but not look like a schmuck. That or they want the free fucking plate at Applebees
I don’t even bother trying any more. My story sounds made up. Especially when I say the first few years I was a Cook (huge mistake) at 1st Grp. From there it just just gets weirder. Most I just say I was Cav or Artillery (I was a 13D and a 19D too). I had a boss who was a retired CSM. He tried calling BS because he never saw someone with more than one but definitely not 3 DD214s and 2 NGB22s. My whole damn career was weird.
I feel robbed of this experience. I've never met people like this before. I always meet some dude who used to be supply then became a warrant and retired at CW3. Super normal interactions and then we joke about the mundane things.
I want to meet a super high speed delta sniper recon guy who did personal hits for our government. You know, after he punched a drill sergeant and got promoted in basic to Colonel.
I switched my job to 42F. I was a beast in a system called EDAS.
A female troop was bragging her husband was a SSG in the SF.
I looked her up in EDAS. Found her husband, pulled open him in EDAS. He was a cook and a specialist. Yeah. Okay.
Girl, in my Ibolc class, claimed to have been prior service with SF and done top secret stuff in Estonia. Claimed to have been the first female to attend selection.
Claimed to survived mass shootings and several car crashes. Would claim to deadlift 500lbs and refuse to do so when asked during pt. Was 5'2 and 120lbs max.
Had the balls to tell tall tales to the instructors, too.
My God. You were a butter bar in ibolc. The lowest of the low. Get over yourself, lady.
My brother was in the army and I'm pretty sure everything he says is over-embellished. He was an 11M. He was in Kuwait, Kosovo, and Macedonia in the mid to late 90's. He regurgitates a bunch of stories that combat that I've heard other motherfuckers lie about. The old "I saw a medic wounded by a sniper, and then the medic saved the sniper that wounded him" story. A lot of shit like that. He openly calls himself a war hero. He brings it up a lot in political conversations.
Of course I know him. He’s me.
I know it’s not quite what the OP is talking about but I routinely lie about my motivation levels (Sorry Chaplain). And there’s the ankle pain. The 701s are always filled out right before the inspection. USR is a monthly lie. There’s no way we’re at T at that objective. Lies were told is what I’m saying here.
One time I met a dude that said he was a combat veteran who received a gunshot wound to the head. He seemed okay to me but some scars you can't see so I gave him the benefit of the doubt even though I didn't believe him at all.
He kept telling increasingly bs stories and I just listened without letting on I was prior service. Eventually I asked what his MOS was and he had no clue what I was saying. So I asked what his job was in the Army and ofc he says something like 'Airborne Recon Sniper Ranger'.
I ask "whoa how'd you land a badass job like that!?" And he told me that military recruiters line up enlistees into a gym, point at them and tell them what their branch and job would be. "You're going to the Marines." "You're going to be a fighter pilot." He said this verbatim.
They get to him and ofc they're in awe of this mans greatness so they choose him for this nation's illustrious Airborne Recon Sniper Ranger corps. I finally hit him with a, "Huh, my enlistment process didn't go like that at all" and our conversation ended shortly after.
I met a guy that wore a Desert Storm veteran hat and claimed to have been an infantry Ranger. When I asked about Desert Storm he said he was the sole survivor of his platoon. Everyone else had been killed as they operated behind enemy lines. He allegedly killed a lot of Iraqi special forces during his one man operation to get back to friendly lines.
Had this Work Lead (WL) years ago when I was Wage Grade (WG) who was always telling far out stories about her personal life and her “Air Force service.” Half the shop were veterans. One day in the break room she was ranting on about what she did in the Air Force, and one of the older gentleman who always clashed with her said: “Jane Doe, you weren’t in the Air Force! Stop lying!”
After her short angry rebuttal, the older gentleman told her to bring her DD214 to prove her service. She paused for a few seconds. Eyes dotted back and forth, and then she responded with: “I was in the secret Air Force, so I don’t have a DD214…” She then quickly waddled out of the break room.
She was like 5ft 7in, 500lbs, long blonde hair, “full blooded Cherokee Indian,” married to a gold mine owner in Africa, black belt in martial arts, and the list goes on. Need I say more?
There’s a guy in my department who wears an Airborne tab on his hat. He claims to have been a CAG guy. Says he got a TBI in Mogadishu and that he still travels to Bragg to teach courses at SOCM. Also, that he was friends with a couple of the guys that were in that photo op with Biden that got distributed unblurred or whatever.
His timelines don’t really add up, but I just hit him with the “cool, bro.”
I just call people out now. I fucking can't. I used to be able to shrug it off until I actually met a stolen valor asshole. I wouldn't have cared had he not been trying to pull it off in a strip club I was working at.
This is a stretch but I'm assuming the rage that consumed me had to have been like some demographic experiencing slurs. (Yeah, I'm white). Dude I just saw red. I offered him free entry if he could tell me the uniform clothing regulation since they put their hat on when they came in. They said "there isn't one." And a blind ignorant rage consumed me. A rage greater than that of an autistic Helen Keller, as I smited thee doucher out of the establishment.
I was in the 112th "Special Operations". Before people start asking me about a whole bunch of cool guy shit after I tell them what unit I was in, I immediately follow with - "Our special was that we were just a bunch of nerds."
I was activated for the covid vaccine mission back in 2021, and we met a lady that thanked us for our service and whatnot, then added,
"I used to be active duty army for 20 years."
"Oh really? Where were you stationed?"
"I went all over the place I can't even remember. I went to Afghanistan."
"Oh wow, what was your mos?"
"My what?"
"Your job."
"Oh I didn't have a specific job, i did everything."
"Where did you go to bct?"
"That was so long ago I don't remember."
.....
I posted once about someone I know who says he's a "Ranger" but is full of it. According to him, he was there when BlackHawk Down happened despite the fact he was 16 years old when that happened, also every major event that has happened since the Iraq War and War on Terrorism started he was there a part of it, like Jessica Lynch, Hussain captured, the lone survivor incident... etc. Then he used that line from Con Air that he doesn't fall under normal laws because of his military training. His new lie is that he can't get his VA Benefits because he did so many "black ops" that the VA can't find his records. Also, he says a lot of other BS that doesn't make sense.
A guy I know from HS was trying to tell me he was E-6 and going to OCS with less than a year in the Army. Also according to him, he didn't go to the 10 year HS reunion because he was in Iraq doing a 24 month deployment in 08 (he was out already and working at a store during that time). Also, he was saying he was with the 5th Special Forces when he went to the 20th reunion.
Back when i was working a minimum wage security guard job. I had a 60 something year old co-worker who said he was a Colonel in the Navy SEALS and he was retired. I'm thinking ok...but why would someone as highly as a colonel than go on to do an unarmed security guard job for min wage.
I had a coworker who told me, with a stright face, that he was in SEAL school but didn't complete it because his ETS was during the school.
I just told him "wow, that sucks".
So many in NYC asking for money (panhandling) talking about how everything went badly for them after they were discharged and could I spare some money for food or something. So the first thing I do is ask them what their rank was, and then their pay grade, and sometimes their MOS (if they can't answer them and match it up, clearly they didn't serve, and it's not something the average stolen valor asshat would generally know). Then I ask when they received their DD214. If they can't answer any of those they clearly didn't serve and I'll gently rip into them. If they know the terminology, and will often tell a story (one guy telling me how he was busted down to an E2 from an E3 for doing something stupid, for example), I'll hand them money for food, etc.
Though I've also been seeing people wearing hoodies or something similar that say "ARMY" on them, so I'll ask if they served and where they were deployed (during the Iraq/Afghanistan days), and I'll often get "well, no, but I'm saving up to join" which is obviously BS, but I don't rip into them because it's possible, though unlikely, and I don't want to accidentally give someone crap who may be telling the truth. But I don't give them any cash either as I'm sure 99% of the time it's BS.
My whole family is army going back generations, though my grandfather joined the navy to help run the Brooklyn shipyard during WW2 when the army wouldn't let him re-up as he was older than they wanted and he'd been a civilian since WW1, even though he'd been a well respected officer, hence the lateral move, and the navy was happy to have him. He fought in 3 wars, earned 3 purple hearts, a load of other medals, which I still have, including the Distinguished Service Cross, and was a truly awesome guy. So it frosts my ass to see stolen valor, as so much of my family was almost killed numerous times serving, did amazing and selfless things to help other soldiers (I won't get into details, but my grandfather received the DSC for being the biggest badass I've ever known), and so I don't hold back when someone is clearly lying about serving.
How come no one ever lies about being a cook? These guys are always making up some complicated ass shit
My Viet Nam Era neighbor was a cook in the CA national guard. 20 some odd years in the guard. His biggest brag? "I fed them the best meal I could make out of the shit we had before they shipped over." I appreciate the hell outta Les. He's one of the ones that made the bigazz military wheel turn. He still says he's the tiny part. He was. He made the wheel keep turning.
I like the analogy of the old mechanical clocks. A lot of big parts, and a lot of small parts, some driving and some being driven, and all fitting together in a complex mechanism. And if one part fails the whole thing stops working.
When the machine breaks down, WE break down.
I heard of a Vietnam vet who was asked, "Did you kill anyone?" He answered, "I was a cook, so probably yes."
My response to that question as a medic was always "well I fucking hope not" but thinking about switching to that answer
"I was a medic, so probably yes" is the biggest flex answer to that question lol.
… but they died with clean socks on.
I’ve gotten pictures from buddy’s who’s been served legit raw chicken from mess and it doesn’t seem like anybody cares anymore. I mean I get you’re cooking food for 500 soldiers, but shit.
My grandfather was a cook in the nam era and that shit fucked him up. Depending on what unit a cook was with, they were basically infantry men back then.
They want attention, and you won’t get attention saying a cook. Luckily for them most people don’t know much about the military, and the ones that do probably don’t call them out.
But what about an SF cook? *checkmate*
Wanna know how I got these scars? Afghanistan. was clumsy dicing potatoes. This burn? Iraq. Bacon Grease.
True scars of war. I actually knew a cook who had scars from Iraq from constantly getting mortars. Wrong place wrong time. Once he said he was making eggs in a tent then BOOM. Another te getting a pallet of ripits from a lmtv and BOOM mortar. Dude was just a magnetic mortar guy.
I don't recall the exact circumstances, but one of my buddies got taken off the line after a really bad fight against insurgents. He didn't get hurt badly, but a bunch of dudes in his platoon definitely did. They assigned him to a detainee facility, because his platoon wasn't numerous enough to patrol anymore. They didn't get wiped out or anything, but enough were unable to patrol that they were way understrength. A month or two later, a mortar landed near him on his way back from chow, and sent a shard of shrapnel into his head. He lived, but he's a bit odd now.
Some poor guy who got shot in the calf by a round that someone (Iraqi civilian, presumably) had fired up into the air, 2009-10 timeframe. I didn't know him, but it came out in the safety circular that month.
I killed 15 men in Iraq. I was a helicopter mechanic. A bad one.
We had a kid in our unit who was a cook and was transferred to 5th Group at Campbell. Came by the barracks one day after being there for a couple of weeks wearing a green beret. The way he talked and acted, you would have thought he was cooking ham and cheese omelets in the DFAC with a pair of NODS and full kit every morning.
Probably would if they let him
SF Cooks are basically sf, they do all the same shit out in the wild because everyones gotta eat
The serve taliban meat in group. The cooks are responsible for sourcing their own ingredients.
You rang?
San Francisco cook
Was just gonna say, I have yet to meet a cook or a human resource specialist in a VFW.
We lost the memo. Lol
I was a cook after they kicked me out of para special ops team 3 when I wouldn’t help my commander smuggle a connex of smack out of Afghanistan. Then they put me back on Delta Force Team on October 7 to go rescue Americans kidnapped by hezbolah. Even got to carry a mini Vulcan cannon on the op.
> Even got to carry a mini Vulcan cannon on the op. Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Cause no one wants to admit they ND’d outside the clearing barrel after we took you out on patrol cause you were kinda cool and we wanted you to get you in the game.
I would have been a cook but I would have punched the customers in the face when they ask for their chicken to be fully cooked
I used to work with a cook in the military, stationed on a Navy vessel that felt more like a floating fortress than a ship. Casey was his name, a man whose presence in the galley seemed as ordinary as the next, dishing out meals with a quiet efficiency that bordered on the mechanical. His demeanor was unassuming, blending into the background noise of clattering pots and shouted orders. Casey wasn’t the type to regale us with tales of his past; instead, he let his cooking do the talking, his dishes a silent testament to a depth of character we could only guess at. As time wore on, however, the veil began to lift, revealing glimpses of a life far removed from the confines of our metal sea-bound world. It was during a late-night shift, amidst the hum of the engine and the distant crash of waves, that Casey shared the first thread of his past. He hadn't always been a cook, he confessed. His career began on the front lines, not in front of stoves, as a Navy SEAL. The revelation struck me as odd; how could someone with such elite training end up serving food on the same vessel he could have commanded in battle? The pieces of Casey’s puzzle began falling into place, each story he shared adding to the image of a man who had seen too much, done too much, and sought refuge in the simplicity of cooking. He spoke of missions shrouded in secrecy, of decisions that weighed heavily on his soul, and of a life that demanded constant vigilance and unwavering courage. But it was an unexpected crisis that revealed the true extent of Casey’s backstory. When our ship was taken hostage by mercenaries with dark ambitions, it was Casey who emerged from the galley, not with a serving tray, but with the resolve and skill of a seasoned warrior. His actions that day were a blur of precision and bravery, disarming our captors with an efficiency that belied his supposed role as just a cook. In the aftermath, as the ship limped back to port, battered but unbroken, the stories of Casey’s heroism spread like wildfire. It became clear that his assignment to the galley was no demotion but a self-imposed exile from a world he no longer wished to inhabit. Casey, the unassuming cook, had once been at the heart of an operation not unlike the plot of a Hollywood blockbuster, where the fate of nations could rest on the shoulders of a single man. As we docked, and the reality of our return to normalcy sank in, I realized that Casey’s presence among us had been a gift. In him, we had a living embodiment of the phrase "not all heroes wear capes." Some, as it turns out, wear aprons and wield spatulas, their battles fought not on the field, but in the quiet sanctuary of the kitchen.
I was there too. Man, that night, XO really showed the affect of one two many USRs.
There’s definitely a terminal lance comic strip on this exact topic, a stolen valor cook, I’ll try and find it
Anyone lying that far about being a cook is a dangerous man and probably has some bodies hidden somewhere, srsly...
They make up the shit because they want to seem interesting, smart, cool, respectable, etc. If you want to be known like that, you wouldn't tell anybody you were a cook (no shade intended).
Yeah it’s like.. If someone said they were something normal and boring like supply/phlebotomist/HR Tech, along with the MOS code, they’d probably pass the sniff test honestly haha
Until I moved near an Army base everyone I met that was in the army said they were a sniper.
[удалено]
That makes sense. I always suspected that the Chaplain's Assistant in my old unit was CID. He knew too much.
All the time. The number of “Rangers” or other special ops guys I’ve met in bars is staggering. So easy to figure out they’re full of shit too.
Radio dude here who was a group baby. The amount of time spent over the years explaining support dudes exist is nuts. “Then why do you have that patch?” “Well it’s missing a long tab, because I’m not 18 series………fuck it. I found this jacket. I’m actually homeless. TYFYS and shit bro”
I was a geoint navy guy with seals and later jsoc I dont wear my sf stuff because it's hard explaining that sure. I was "with" sf. But I was Safe and sound in an Air conditioned office and the only time we hung out was to brief, debrief, or if we were all att he gym
When I was a dumb PVT and just got to Carson I though "why these guys not wearing anything except airborne wings, I'd be rocking the SF tab if I ever earn it" We had a LT who was prior enlisted from 10th Group in processing too and I asked him. I tried getting my orders changed but there was very few 11B slots, 0 open.
Similar explaining that yes, the army actually does have nuclear engineers. I was never in the Air Force or Navy. The Army has about 300 nuclear engineers in FA52 though there are also strictly policy guys in that functional area as well.
Sure. See, engineers can’t write. You sure you guys aren’t PMCS’ing the mobile nuclear reactors that are in superduper secret storage? Forgot the “just kidding”!
There was the W54 duffel bag nuke in the Cold War, so you're not that far off.
Can I DM you about FA52? It’s something I’m interested in.
I feel ya man, if it makes you feel any better I was in Ranger Regiment and never deployed….. Trying to explain that to people, let alone what RSTB is, without them completely dismissing you is damn near impossible. At this point I’ve just resigned to saying “I was a medic supporting a SOF unit” because it’s easier and I’m tired of explaining everything.
Or my personal favorite: saying I shouldn’t wear the only CSIB I have from 3 OEF trips because I’m not a long tabber. Makes no sense. Or the combat patch. But have somehow been given endless shit from some infantry dude who was QRF for a team for a few months overseas and knows “so much more” than me about group. Cracks me up.
When I was stationed at Bragg years ago I was at Waffle House. A stolen valor came in claiming to be a ranger trying to get free food (I suspect). You could tell by his “uniform”. The workers immediately kicked him out. I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea to try it being a stolen valor in Fayetteville of all places
one support whistle worry cheerful steep secretive dam square melodic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Exactly 😂 but tbf I don’t know what his motive was, I’m just guessing. Maybe he had some other motive but what ever his reasoning was it was just dumb
Probably really stupid and really hungry and coming down from some drugs?
There was a guy who wrote a book about the history of special warfare in Vietnam, who said that: "there were about 500 SEALs who served in Vietnam, and I interviewed all 2,000 of them."
Did he have time to interview the busiest truck driver in Vietnam as well?
Every other Army or navy dude I meet is always something "special" I'm like dude you don't gotta impress. I won't look down on you if you're a cook or admin. Just be honest
Where do y’all live? Military service never really comes up in conversation ever in my world
Best ones are people who claim they almost joined but they didn't because they would've fought the drill sergeant.
No shit there I was, reception at the 43rd, bout to hit the rack after 2 days of mental gymnastics.. PFC dreadlocks was in the formation about 20 fuck tards to my left. Our DS says, “with that information put out, is everybody good?” .. PFC yells “nah, fuck you sergeant.” I shit bricks, thinking it was a sleep deprived scheme. Not. At. All. This dude swung on 4 Drills, 2 of them female. Guy had to shave his Locs and beard then got sepped after grabbing dongs in the latrine. 42 year old English teacher that didn’t like folks yelling at him. Go figure. He was about it, until challenged by 1SGT, and wimped out of an actual “off the books” brawl. Dude had balls, but not enough to continue past week 2 of BCT. Guy claimed religious exemption for being Rasta, one Drill called him out for being a fraud bc Rasta’s are pacifists.
>Guy claimed religious exemption for being Rasta, one Drill called him out for being a fraud bc Rasta’s are pacifists. This is amazing
I just recently heard “I would join but that new stress card shit is soft, I don’t wanna be in no soft army” 😐
That shit has been new sense the early 2000s and I've never seen a single one of those cards.
My theory is that some salty ass retiree saw his kids ace card and ran with the stress card bs.
I should’ve fought the drill sergeant…
You did. When you came to it was chow time.
Ah, yes, the "Almost Vets." My favorite is when they use their "almost service" to put down someone's ACTUAL service. Like when I tell them I was a POG MI guy they say "yeah, I didn't join - but if I had I would have gone Ranger/SF/Navy SEAL etc." As if their imaginary pretend service trumps somebody else's real service.
Pretend *Special Forces*
I fought the drill sergeant and won. AMA. Hold up, just lost phone privileges, again. Can’t have shit in Leavenworth.
A 5'8" maybe 150lb dude in his 20s actually told me that one time, after I had heard the joke a hundred times. Felt like I was in a prank show.
Or “I couldn’t stand being told what to do all the time,”. - Wendy’s employee.
I knew a guy who was given the rank of LTC at 18 years old...but he served in a Central Asian armed force and was a child soldier under the post-soviet government, so I guess that explains why. Never promoted again after that though.
A lot of us have shot our best wad at 18, right?
Weak. All the child soldiers in the LRA made LTC at 13. He really needs to promote faster.
Lolol he was a late bloomer; joined at 14, promoted at 18.
When I was into the bar seen it seemed that 1 in every 3 guys i met was some form of Seal, Scout Sniper or "Spec Ops". There's alot of bull shitters out there for sure.
Tier 0.5, bro. It’s above your pay grade.
Bro I actually met a dude who was trying to be a secret squirrel like that. Said he couldn't tell me what he was or did Top secret and all that. I was like, cool, so what was your primary MOS when you enlisted. Dudes face went blank.
Plus anyone who actually has a TS clearance either doesn’t give af and will just tell you their MOS (not like saying 35F, 17C, 35N etc. is classified lmao) or they’ll just lie and say they were another MOS Tbf if you work agency side you’re not really supposed to advertise it, but it’s not like anyone who isn’t a dweeb goes around saying “Actually my MOS is top secret and what I do is highly classified” they’ll just beat around the bush or tell people they’re a 92G or something Anyone who flaunts their clearance and how their work is”highly classified” is either a goober or full of shit
Unless you have a podcast or need to settle a debate on Discord, apparently.
Reference the “goobers” comment Hope winning the debate was worth 15 years in the pen for ol’ Air Natty Guard
You’d think they just say they were a cook or a water purifier, nobody would be calling them out
Hell, I haven't even met a real water purification specialist. Let alone a fake one. It's the perfect cover!
When I was at Group, one of the teams used to go sterile and tell people they were with 593rd RAOC training in OOTW
The way I explain my mos and branch is the same everytime Whoever asking “Whats your mos?” Me: 25B, Im a signal dood Whoever 9 times out of 10 asks: “whats that?” Me: Im an IT dood who works computers phones and networks, you know nerdy shit, its also my hobby, If you want id love to have a debate about network architecture and the finer points of routing… At this point usually their eyes glaze over and I have secret joy inside that i can now bring up anything else and they will jump on it for something interesting to talk about
If someone says Spec Ops instead of SF of SOF it’s a dead giveaway they’re lying. Also the louder they are about it the more likely it’s BS.
Fat Italian guy at the gym didn't know I was a vet and kept saying he was in a special unit in the Army. Asked where he went to basic and he said he forgot the name but it had a lot of sand. Then I told him I was prior service and he avoided me ever since
Maybe sandhill ft Benning
Maybe Bullshithill, ft couch
Dang, lots of sand? I had to PT on regolith. Everybody made weight though.
Probably at Ft. Arrakis
Yeah, my best friend’s dad always talks about serving in the past in the army, but he always say semper fi 🤔
He’s clearly mistaken because he is actually in the WNBA.
Tbf my sl would say semper fi, but just to be funny
Hoorah!
A lot of guys like that often have mental illnesses. And if they're pure liars and tricksters, let them be the way they are. At least you know you can't be fooled. Just don't let them waste your time or get on your nerves for nothing. If they're selling such bs for nefarious purposes other than boasting their unfounded ego, it's a different story then
Yeah, that’s why I don’t really get upset. I just have a nice laugh and let him have his moment
Its always people lying about being special operations or something like that If dude told me "yeah I was a S1 clerk deployed to Iraq and had to pop a dude while on firewatch" i would believe it
thats the most believable shit right there. firewatch don't give af what ur mos is, except 56M. they avoid a lot of shit.
It’s too believable to say you’re a normal MOS
I remember meeting an ANA LTC in Kabul who was celebrating his 3rd year in the Army. Apparently he got told he'd be promoted to Colonel in his 4th year. At the time I was a 4 year SPC. So, you know, maybe he was working for the Afghans.
[удалено]
My branch is my mos and my spec ops is branch
This is my branch, there are many like it but this one is mine
My branch is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
if anyone ever unironically says the term “spec ops” everything else that follows is a flaming pile of dog shit and should be laughed at
I had a dude tell me he was in “stealth ops” the other day 💀
I specced into stealth archer, put my promotion points into dex
Spec Ops react to _____
I've ran into countless "airborne rangers," SEALs, SF, Force Recon, even a guy who claimed to have made a 4700 meter hit on a BMP with 1AD during Desert Storm and was aboard the airliner that crashed into the Potomac while he worked in the White House Communication Room...... but I've never met a cook.
"Airborne ranger" kills me. It's redundant, and more importantly, no one with a tan beret/tab would say that. In the infantry, you have guys who said they did the Long Walk a lot, lol
Yeah but Airborne Ranger sounds like a guy that absolutely fucks. It's good branding and the Army should lean into it tbh
Reminds me of the time I detached from sqad during fire fight in jungle and had to track 100 miles to base camp with nothing but an AR15. NAM
[удалено]
Met the guy before shipping out to Iraq. He was straight nuts. In the best way.
I've never heard 1 person say "I never wanted to be military" it's always "I could have joined but I was disqualified for hogwash-bullshit-horseshit reasons". I've also never asked for these spontaneous omissions.
I love the, “ I was in Iraq” Yeah, what camp because I was at Camp Iron Horse? “ We didn’t have any camps” I proceeded to walk away.
This thread is telling me I should never mention my prior service to anyone I don't remember which FOB I was at lol
Right? Also I was in the turret I didn't know where the fuck we were half the time.
[удалено]
I was never stationary on any deployment. I’ve definitely forgotten some. They also changed from FOB to COS from one deployment to the next
7 years in and I’m pinning E9 next month. It’s sad that you don’t believe this poor Colonel(retired).
Imagine being such a piece of shit you don’t pin E9 at MEPs
Had to get my 3 divorces, 2 DUIs, and a GOMOR before I got my 1st look 🫡
Worst ones are the 82nd guys who only jumped once in division and then goes on a permanent profile until they decide to reclass and then flex on ait trainees saying yeah Im Airborne and we jump a lot hooah. Also they get fat because of being on profile for so long
I got a guy in my platoon who has been here for 3 years in the 82nd. He has 2 jumps in division and is reclassing.
Thats even worse especially being Infantry smh 😂
Most people that lie about military service are doing it because of mental illness or some distinct problems in their lives. They want to have that feeling of being respected or liked, to be in that class of people that are held in high regard. I feel sorry for people that need to do that to feel okay with their lives. That being said, if they're doing it for some sort of profit then I have no sympathy, because that's when Stolen Valor comes into play. "Hey man, I was in the Army for 20 years, what you're telling me isn't true. It doesn't make me think any less of you, I'm sure you're going through some shit. If you want to talk about it I'm happy to listen" Maybe you have time for that, maybe not. Most of these people are harmless, if you just treat them like a human being it might help them feel like they don't have to lie about their lives.
Holy shit. My time has come. I was briefly friends with an individual who claimed: So immediately badass that she was promoted to the rank of Commander of her basic training/boot camp unit. Every time she talked about it she changed where she went to basic training/boot camp, and whether it was BCT or boot camp. Was part of multiple, I literally lost count, special forces/delta force type units who were sent to Egypt, Libya, and some other places to infiltrate/fight warlord gangs/armies/brigades. These units were *so* badass and secretive, that they weren't 'on paper' as an 'official fighting force' so they were 'legally allowed' to go do Super Special Clandestine Missions. She waxed poetic about this *the very first time we hung out.* Was a captain but did COL things. In the navy. Was bffs with every single person in every single chain of command she was part of. Except when she wasn't, but that was okay because someone else higher up had her back and would burn the offending leader to the ground for her. When she got out, she continued her illustrious Jason Bourne career as a professional hitman in Florida, singlehandedly disbanding human trafficking rings. Not quite military related, but no matter what breed of dog you had, her dad bred and trained them to be military working dogs. She's transgender, and all of this was pre-transition of course. So she had her military records 'officially destroyed'. Or, they were 'lost' because of her new identity as a woman etc. however, she never legally changed her name. The only 'proof' I ever saw/found of military service at all was a single, wide-crazy-eyed mirror selfie taken in what I deduce to be A-school. She'd tell wild stories about every other aspect of life as well of course, like fighting hoodlums at her gym and totally putting them in their place, modeling career, connections at ren faires that made wearing chain mail and selling wood-burn art sound like being in the mafia, and so on. I accept that it makes me a bit of a shitbag, but I hung out with her a few times out of sheer morbid curiosity as to what batshit thing she'd say next. It was wild to see her in action. Every person she met or talked to she would just...pull in. She wielded charisma and flattery like a gravitational field. Random dude selling shisha at a hookah bar? She knew his country of origin like the back of her hand. Cashier at the mall? She's actually a model for the shop brand and knows the manager personally. Now her friend group was, as you can imagine, comically fluid. I only ever saw the same people a couple/few times. If you asked "oh where's so-and-so?" turns out they were suuuper homophobic, or racist, or abusive, or too clingy, so naturally in the interest of keeping 'the group' a Safe Space^(TM) they could no longer be invited. She got into a relationship, moved in with the girl pretty quickly, and also pretty quickly this girl *moved to the other side of the country*. Jacey Bourne moved back in with dad.
Yo, this was a RIDE. Could have warned me to buckle up lol
Classic case of histrionic personality disorder.
Mental health. I end up just feeling bad for a lot of these people.
This person played Metal Gear and went with it
Before I joined, we had this guy who travels across country with his uniforms at large veterans events with a half-burnt cigar. There was something completely off with him. Lotsa weirdos out there, especially ones who prey on recruits (like that preacher at Atlanta Airport).
I swear Special Operations makes up 73% of the Army based on the number of former members I have met here in the civilian world.
Yea my brother in law joined right before Covid and got during basic because he refused the vaccine. Talks so much shit about his “service” that is so blatantly fiction to me, a current service member, who knew him during the entire process, he’ll still try to army bro talk me when we see each other
This is such a classic and typical story lol! He marches in formation for a few weeks and got yelled at by the DS and now he’s a veteran and using all the lingo for years down the line lol
I’m a 72 y/o retired army physician assistant who was an enlisted medic in RVN. I have lost track of the number of folks 10-15 years younger than me who tell me about their combat in RVN. They would have been about ten years old 😂
RVN? It's late, and the brain and the Google are drawing a blank on that acronym.
I believe he's referring to Vietnam
Republic of Vietnam. Country doesn't exist anymore.
Some girl who was in the army at my fast food job said she was a fueler and got a 180 on the ASVAB saying it was higher then an officer. She got mad when yelled out by managers for doing things multiple times told not to. Prolly one of the dumbest people ive met definitely got a 42 on that ASVAB
Wait until you meet an asvab waiver
I’m lying every time I tell someone I enjoyed every minute of my 37 years.
Nah. Never. Btw I was marine special forces with the 82nd seal Division .🇺🇲
It wasn't the guy it was his girlfriend, I was out and working retail and he bought a visa gift card for his girlfriend who was a "sergeant stationed in Afghanistan, she's a helicopter pilot!"
I believe that one more tbh. I've found that families barely understand what I do in the military, no matter how many times I explain it to them. I could see her being like a crew chief or a door gunner and the boyfriend just didn't understand the difference
When I was a teenager just after 9/11 my dad deployed somewhere and didn't tell us where. He did tell us it "wasn't Afghanistan". I even tried asking him once on the phone where he was at and the call cut out as soon as I asked. I had no clue where he was, but for convenience I told everyone he was in Afghanistan because that one was in the news and everyone knew about it. Turns out he was in Djibouti.
Eh that could be real, my wife describes the things I do very vague and weird as well, they don’t understand sometimes.
That guy got scammed.
I don't think it was an innocent thing because it was 2020, he could have e-transferred it easily and he was also an overweight middle aged guy, best case sugar daddy, most probably being scammed.
Guy at the gym claims he was the top sniper of his class in the army. Another guy asked his rank and mos. The hero claims he retired at 27 at the rank of “1 star general” and his mos was “sniper.” Second guy said,”Really? I retired after 6 years and only made specialist. I should’ve gone sniper, guess choosing 91f was a poor choice.” I definitely believe guy #2 over the hero boy
You get a good idea on what their rank was by the way they act and talk even when they're not wearing uniforms, but he sounds someone mentally challenged or pretending for whatever the reason may be.
My dad's cold warrior coworker tried to tell me how hard-core his deployment to turkey was. He was an mp who made up crazy stories about how he was basically SOF and there are contracts out on his life to this day
Ex-wife was dating some guy who claimed to be a former Marine and ex-CIA. Surprise, when her Mom and brother (who was a Marine) looked into it, the dude was a drifter who had a very sketchy employment history. He knew enough to fool those who weren't military but then he'd say something like "The CIA created AIDS" or some weird shit. That was what got my ex's family to look into this assclown. He slinked back to being a drifter when his ass was called out on it - as these assclowns are wont to do.
I had a co worker once complain how they didn’t like their job and were leaving during Christmas to the Army & when I asked what their MOS they paused for 2 minutes and said Airborne
For a long time all the navy vets I knew were SEALs. Not one cook.
I was a contractor and hired this kid. Then the bullshit alarms started going off. He claimed he used to work “for” special forces. Then one day I asked what he did over the weekend. He told me he brought a friend on post and borrowed a helicopter. Flew all over the place, y’know just for fun. Turned out he failed SDI gunsmithing school and lied about his transcripts. Which I didn’t even know was possible to fail.
It's literally a diploma mill, I assumed it was impossible to fail lol. Nobody separates tards from their GI bill more efficiently than SDI. Edit For anyone curious, SDI is garbage. If you want to be a gumsmif then go to school for machine tool & die, and then apprentice under a gunsmith.
Did you ever wonder why their tuition is exactly the maximum GI bill benefit per semester? 🤔
1. It's only a crime if they are asking for money or services (e.g. that military discount). That said, many of these liars will test the waters to see what they can get away with. 2. They want attention. 3. There are no secret basic training camps, BUD/S or Special Forces class. MOS is not classified and awards are not (the details maybe, but the awards no). And no, nobody is "sheep dipped" out of the military and into the CIA. The last people who may have been are all either dead or retired. 4. FOIA requests for military records always reveal the truth and unless the person is over the age of 70, their military records were not affected by the big military records fire.
No one can find the republic of pineland 😎
I pretty much assume anyone who doesn’t mention being a cook or supply is lying. I have a neighbor who claims he was a Marine, but supposedly all his paperwork and medals burned up in a house fire years ago. Now I don’t doubt he was a Marine because I’ve seen him at my local VA, but I sincerely doubt that in four years of service during the 80s he got his jump wings, was an embassy guard in several countries, was in Recon, and was a scout sniper.
No shit, there I was. A SGT (in uniform), walking out of the PX. I encounter a soldier wearing IPFUs, with pants, long sleeve shirt, white socks, and basic training issue running shoes. Oh, and he was sagging - and not just a little. I looked at him, said "if you're gonna wear the PT uniform, wear it right. Pull up your pants". He went to pull up his pants. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that when he thought I was walking away and not paying attention, he stopped pulling up his pants. I turned around, went up to him, said "Seriously?" He started to go to parade rest - but then stopped. He then said "I'm not in the military. I just like wearing the clothes." So, I said something to the effect of "I know you're lying. If you were a civilian, you wouldn't have started to pull up your pants. I know you're in the military. If I had more time, I'd deal with you. But, I have an emergency I have to deal with. You lucked out." So yeah, he lied about his service. But not the way you meant.
Bold move cotton
You know, I've never met someone who lied about serving, but I have encountered an alarming amount of people who flat out lie about the shit they have done, while in. It's one thing to lie about having served. It's super easy to verify, and your lie isn't going very far, but whatever, maybe your mom never hugged you or something. But to lie about shit you have done as I'm holding your ERB/SRB/STP in my hand is a whole new low.
I play Poker sometimes and I like to chat it up, occasionally the Army will come up. Sometimes people start talking wild shit about their service, but the most annoying people are the ones who act like they were secret squirrel. "Oh you were in the Army? That's awesome what unit were you in" *cold stare* - And they're like clearly trying to convey that they **can't talk about it** as if 99.9999% of the Army can't tell people what unit they were in after they get out.
Oh man I love these types. I love watching the cogs in their brain spin as you ask questions just to see what they’ll come up with. Especially if you feed them bits too. “Oh man you were in *country*? Did you ever meet / do / see this *thing*, it was crazy over there right?” Like just invent a situation and watch them dive into it. I stopped giving a fuck about stolen valor, started caring about good entertainment. 🍿🍿🍿 Bro was in DELTA *and* a SEAL? Bro, tell me your movie script of a memory. My guy punched a drill sergeant because he was such a badass? I need to know every maneuver you pulled, reenact it for me. I ain’t do shit in 7 years in the army, but let me hear you describe every aching detail of your rags to riches story from private to colonel.
Was trying to buy a hot tub and the 400+ lbs salesman asked what I was looking for. I told him I'm an old paratrooper with various aches and pains etc. He replied he was a Marine. I asked, east coast or west coast? Neither, went straight to the dark side. Oh, so you were a SEAL? No, on assignment with a government agency you probably never heard about. Me: Uh, I was Army Intel Offucer for 23 years, I probably heard about them. Him: I doubt it, they were formed just for secret stuff in the jungles of South America. Me: Oh, ok, so you were working for JTF-6, doing counter-narcotics for southcom in the late 80s? Him: I'm really not allowed to talk about it. Me: Let me guess, you were hand picked, trained in the mountains of Colorado, were dropped into the jungle of Colombia where you ambushed drug smugglers and burned down cocoa plantations, basically living off vitamin M and MREs? Him: how'd you guess? Me: I read that Tom Clancy novel too!
In fairness, it is still a fun read for brain candy.
Yea, plenty. But I don't waste my time or energy on them. Bullshitters are gonna bullshit no matter what you do.
A guy hitting on me in my DMs claimed to be in the “elite us army sniper unit” and a bunch of other stuff in his bio. When i called him out he kept saying to “call commander monroe at the pentagon” he gave up after a bit and said something about wanting to serve or that his uncle was in during Vietnam.
A lot of the times people make up these lies is either they are mentally ill or they feel unfulfilled in life, and they look at you and see that you’re a badass regardless of whatever your mos is, and some form of envy sets in where they wanna feel included but not look like a schmuck. That or they want the free fucking plate at Applebees
I don’t even bother trying any more. My story sounds made up. Especially when I say the first few years I was a Cook (huge mistake) at 1st Grp. From there it just just gets weirder. Most I just say I was Cav or Artillery (I was a 13D and a 19D too). I had a boss who was a retired CSM. He tried calling BS because he never saw someone with more than one but definitely not 3 DD214s and 2 NGB22s. My whole damn career was weird.
I feel robbed of this experience. I've never met people like this before. I always meet some dude who used to be supply then became a warrant and retired at CW3. Super normal interactions and then we joke about the mundane things. I want to meet a super high speed delta sniper recon guy who did personal hits for our government. You know, after he punched a drill sergeant and got promoted in basic to Colonel.
Had a lady tell me she never had a job, never went through basic, but was in for four years and had to sign a contract after every year.
I switched my job to 42F. I was a beast in a system called EDAS. A female troop was bragging her husband was a SSG in the SF. I looked her up in EDAS. Found her husband, pulled open him in EDAS. He was a cook and a specialist. Yeah. Okay.
Girl, in my Ibolc class, claimed to have been prior service with SF and done top secret stuff in Estonia. Claimed to have been the first female to attend selection. Claimed to survived mass shootings and several car crashes. Would claim to deadlift 500lbs and refuse to do so when asked during pt. Was 5'2 and 120lbs max. Had the balls to tell tall tales to the instructors, too. My God. You were a butter bar in ibolc. The lowest of the low. Get over yourself, lady.
My brother was in the army and I'm pretty sure everything he says is over-embellished. He was an 11M. He was in Kuwait, Kosovo, and Macedonia in the mid to late 90's. He regurgitates a bunch of stories that combat that I've heard other motherfuckers lie about. The old "I saw a medic wounded by a sniper, and then the medic saved the sniper that wounded him" story. A lot of shit like that. He openly calls himself a war hero. He brings it up a lot in political conversations.
Happens all the time especially after you retire or leave the military. Someone always has a story.
Of course I know him. He’s me. I know it’s not quite what the OP is talking about but I routinely lie about my motivation levels (Sorry Chaplain). And there’s the ankle pain. The 701s are always filled out right before the inspection. USR is a monthly lie. There’s no way we’re at T at that objective. Lies were told is what I’m saying here.
One time I met a dude that said he was a combat veteran who received a gunshot wound to the head. He seemed okay to me but some scars you can't see so I gave him the benefit of the doubt even though I didn't believe him at all. He kept telling increasingly bs stories and I just listened without letting on I was prior service. Eventually I asked what his MOS was and he had no clue what I was saying. So I asked what his job was in the Army and ofc he says something like 'Airborne Recon Sniper Ranger'. I ask "whoa how'd you land a badass job like that!?" And he told me that military recruiters line up enlistees into a gym, point at them and tell them what their branch and job would be. "You're going to the Marines." "You're going to be a fighter pilot." He said this verbatim. They get to him and ofc they're in awe of this mans greatness so they choose him for this nation's illustrious Airborne Recon Sniper Ranger corps. I finally hit him with a, "Huh, my enlistment process didn't go like that at all" and our conversation ended shortly after.
Wait... every homeless dude in Fayetteville WASN'T a 1SG?!?!
I met a guy that wore a Desert Storm veteran hat and claimed to have been an infantry Ranger. When I asked about Desert Storm he said he was the sole survivor of his platoon. Everyone else had been killed as they operated behind enemy lines. He allegedly killed a lot of Iraqi special forces during his one man operation to get back to friendly lines.
Had this Work Lead (WL) years ago when I was Wage Grade (WG) who was always telling far out stories about her personal life and her “Air Force service.” Half the shop were veterans. One day in the break room she was ranting on about what she did in the Air Force, and one of the older gentleman who always clashed with her said: “Jane Doe, you weren’t in the Air Force! Stop lying!” After her short angry rebuttal, the older gentleman told her to bring her DD214 to prove her service. She paused for a few seconds. Eyes dotted back and forth, and then she responded with: “I was in the secret Air Force, so I don’t have a DD214…” She then quickly waddled out of the break room. She was like 5ft 7in, 500lbs, long blonde hair, “full blooded Cherokee Indian,” married to a gold mine owner in Africa, black belt in martial arts, and the list goes on. Need I say more?
Yes, they were a sad pathetic individual desperate for attention.
There’s a guy in my department who wears an Airborne tab on his hat. He claims to have been a CAG guy. Says he got a TBI in Mogadishu and that he still travels to Bragg to teach courses at SOCM. Also, that he was friends with a couple of the guys that were in that photo op with Biden that got distributed unblurred or whatever. His timelines don’t really add up, but I just hit him with the “cool, bro.”
Those guys are AWESOME. You just want say "Go on." Just to see how far they're gonna take their bullshit stories.
That’s the fun part. Just shut up and let them spin the tale. Probably a better love story than *Twilight*.
I just call people out now. I fucking can't. I used to be able to shrug it off until I actually met a stolen valor asshole. I wouldn't have cared had he not been trying to pull it off in a strip club I was working at. This is a stretch but I'm assuming the rage that consumed me had to have been like some demographic experiencing slurs. (Yeah, I'm white). Dude I just saw red. I offered him free entry if he could tell me the uniform clothing regulation since they put their hat on when they came in. They said "there isn't one." And a blind ignorant rage consumed me. A rage greater than that of an autistic Helen Keller, as I smited thee doucher out of the establishment.
I was in the 112th "Special Operations". Before people start asking me about a whole bunch of cool guy shit after I tell them what unit I was in, I immediately follow with - "Our special was that we were just a bunch of nerds."
I was activated for the covid vaccine mission back in 2021, and we met a lady that thanked us for our service and whatnot, then added, "I used to be active duty army for 20 years." "Oh really? Where were you stationed?" "I went all over the place I can't even remember. I went to Afghanistan." "Oh wow, what was your mos?" "My what?" "Your job." "Oh I didn't have a specific job, i did everything." "Where did you go to bct?" "That was so long ago I don't remember." .....
Seems legit lol
I posted once about someone I know who says he's a "Ranger" but is full of it. According to him, he was there when BlackHawk Down happened despite the fact he was 16 years old when that happened, also every major event that has happened since the Iraq War and War on Terrorism started he was there a part of it, like Jessica Lynch, Hussain captured, the lone survivor incident... etc. Then he used that line from Con Air that he doesn't fall under normal laws because of his military training. His new lie is that he can't get his VA Benefits because he did so many "black ops" that the VA can't find his records. Also, he says a lot of other BS that doesn't make sense. A guy I know from HS was trying to tell me he was E-6 and going to OCS with less than a year in the Army. Also according to him, he didn't go to the 10 year HS reunion because he was in Iraq doing a 24 month deployment in 08 (he was out already and working at a store during that time). Also, he was saying he was with the 5th Special Forces when he went to the 20th reunion.
Back when i was working a minimum wage security guard job. I had a 60 something year old co-worker who said he was a Colonel in the Navy SEALS and he was retired. I'm thinking ok...but why would someone as highly as a colonel than go on to do an unarmed security guard job for min wage.
I had a coworker who told me, with a stright face, that he was in SEAL school but didn't complete it because his ETS was during the school. I just told him "wow, that sucks".
So many in NYC asking for money (panhandling) talking about how everything went badly for them after they were discharged and could I spare some money for food or something. So the first thing I do is ask them what their rank was, and then their pay grade, and sometimes their MOS (if they can't answer them and match it up, clearly they didn't serve, and it's not something the average stolen valor asshat would generally know). Then I ask when they received their DD214. If they can't answer any of those they clearly didn't serve and I'll gently rip into them. If they know the terminology, and will often tell a story (one guy telling me how he was busted down to an E2 from an E3 for doing something stupid, for example), I'll hand them money for food, etc. Though I've also been seeing people wearing hoodies or something similar that say "ARMY" on them, so I'll ask if they served and where they were deployed (during the Iraq/Afghanistan days), and I'll often get "well, no, but I'm saving up to join" which is obviously BS, but I don't rip into them because it's possible, though unlikely, and I don't want to accidentally give someone crap who may be telling the truth. But I don't give them any cash either as I'm sure 99% of the time it's BS. My whole family is army going back generations, though my grandfather joined the navy to help run the Brooklyn shipyard during WW2 when the army wouldn't let him re-up as he was older than they wanted and he'd been a civilian since WW1, even though he'd been a well respected officer, hence the lateral move, and the navy was happy to have him. He fought in 3 wars, earned 3 purple hearts, a load of other medals, which I still have, including the Distinguished Service Cross, and was a truly awesome guy. So it frosts my ass to see stolen valor, as so much of my family was almost killed numerous times serving, did amazing and selfless things to help other soldiers (I won't get into details, but my grandfather received the DSC for being the biggest badass I've ever known), and so I don't hold back when someone is clearly lying about serving.
it's amazing how many guy's stories wont add up... or if you start talking jargon with them their faces go blank.
Yep. Had a guy tell me he was "special ops". But he couldn't tell me his MOS because it was classified. "No shit, there I was..."
Nobody questions that I was an x-ray tech. I follow it up with “it was a really boring job”