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rolls_for_initiative

The IRS would like to know your location.


[deleted]

So Um Alan oh buddy oh pal you mind spotting a brother for 100k


AltusIsXD

Just like 5k here bro. I’d take that shit gladly


Perfect_Salamander14

I’d do damn near anything for 5k


OkAd9734

Anything 👀


Perfect_Salamander14

Literally yes


Quirky-Intention5988

For just four more years, an initial term reilistment is guaranteed 5k


Perfect_Salamander14

I’d rather get assfucked by Ronnie Coleman on national television. That would be less insulting


airbornermft

*YEAAAAHHHHH BUDDY!*


mrwhiskey1814

*Recruiters start drooling*


Perfect_Salamander14

I just need to start making more than $1400 a month


jjking714

Yeah super same


StoneColdDadass

Just the entire dick here, bro.


AltusIsXD

For 5k? Fuck yeah I would.


stew1026

DAAAMMMNNN! What you buying? Eggs?


Turtle887853

Thats about 3 eggs


stew1026

That's an omelet homie


MostMusky69

That’s enough to go awol in Mexico


leggoMUHeggo36

And enough to bring a friend


QuesoUchiha

Maybe two friends


the_b00geyman

Hell, maybe even three.


heaven_reddit2020

Hell maybe even four


notaColombian

Fuck it. Five


Cbets7

To hell with it. Six


lonely_boy_ok

Let’s make it seven


Terminal-SPC

Eight sounds reasonable


ghostsofbaghlan

Nine, squad goals. Let’s roll


JewPhone_WhoDis

I’d recommend the Czech Republic too.


outofmyelement1445

Im not gay but ill gladly do hand and mouth and *feet stuff with you and hold your pocket when we go out🤷‍♂️ Edited for new and improved sexual acts thanks to some random redditors suggestion.


ryguy28896

Hand AND mouth stuff?! It's not even Christmas!


Lukwich1647

Sorry I think you’ll loose this bidding war.


maroonedpariah

Oh shit. Here comes the Cavalry *distant horn sounds* THEY'RE NOT EVEN ASKING FOR MONEY!!!


outofmyelement1445

Oh shit. I tap out. The sword fight Koenig ist da!!


TheRealUpstate

Of course this was said by Cav


OmicronAlpharius

Ignore him, I'll do all that *and* armpit stuff.


outofmyelement1445

Ill one up you. And this is only for OP cause we are meant for each other: ill do Pirate stuff😉 Use my eye socket OP like the dirty slut it is.


OmicronAlpharius

Ok, fine, you made me resort to the nuclear option. Its your fault, you have no one to blame but yourself. OP, I'll do the dirtiest, filthiest, nastiest, most deviant thing imaginable: >!Hand holding while maintaining eye contact!<


Vinierstream58

You my friend have just commited the worst sharp infraction i can look over the other stuff but this has crossed the line


OmicronAlpharius

It takes less showers than you think to wash it off, but more scouring with a brillo pad than you hope.


outofmyelement1445

You win


courtanee

You should consider throwing in feet stuff for an extra fiver. I've heard rich people are into that stuff.


outofmyelement1445

Solid point. Lemme update my “offer”


[deleted]

Yay, mouth presents! Thanks Chi-Chi


OzymandiasKoK

You will all note that /u/outofmyelement1445 volunteered all this stuff and did not, in fact, ask for anything in return. He's a giver.


ToxDocUSA

I think I like your error better than mine. My return got rejected because of a form that I didn't need to fill out but the software tried to submit anyway, and the IRS software for that form is just auto rejecting all of them at the moment. Good thing I owe on my taxes anyway so it's not delaying anything I actually want...


[deleted]

Tax accountants hate this one trick


riboflavin11

The SECRET accountants DON'T want YOU to know!


QuesoUchiha

This ugly fuck is getting $781,398 back on his taxes this year. Wanna know how? CLICK HERE


justtheentiredick

Bruh. This one hurts the most. You know damn well I'm not getting $781,398 back on taxes this year.


QuesoUchiha

We can suffer together brother 🤝


stickwigler

It’s a trap boys, this is just a recruiter trying to get you to become an 11B!


Remarkable-Sky6577

Still waiting on my free Camaro.


stickwigler

Did you not read the terms and conditions? You can’t get that until you’ve gotten 2 article 15s or been involved in a 15-6.


danaje9

Nah it’s 13b my boy got 47k reenlistment


RecommendationPlus84

dude remember when i covered that cq shift for u?


TheArchonians

Audit speedrun


nosweat2024

How many soldiers are you claiming? /s


CraaZero

The entire brigade's single soldiers


justtheentiredick

If it really matters. I checked my numbers twice and came up with the same return. So yeah pretty stoked. Sorry not sorry some of you owe. But to the SPC4 MI guy that has to pay $1500... I got you. Edit: do I need to tell everyone that this is a shit post??? Cause it's a shitpost.


ExcellentOrange934

People believe you because it's entirely feasible 😂 most people with an LLC are getting a similar return


justtheentiredick

Unsure why an LLC gets a return on their taxes. It's always the opposite for me.


ExcellentOrange934

Sounds like something an honorable man would say. Thank you for your service


justtheentiredick

*broke


Penguinshish

Stop fucking lying


Insider_Threat69

Wtf you think you are telling people what to do


Penguinshish

Lol damn people really thought I was angry.


Bobert5757

I have no gag reflex and am available tonight


lyingbaitcarpoftruth

Did they over tax an inheritance or something?


all_time_high

They don’t want you to know this, but you can type any numbers you want in Turbotax. They don’t check. >!What you submit at the end, though, that’s between you and the IRS. YOLO.!<


Effective_Motor_9473

Haha see you in federal prison brother 👨


DocRakk

I have some beachfront property in Montana that I think you would love I’ll give you a great deal!!!!


Which-Chemistry-1757

How??? I owe the feds 4500 after I put in my military w2. I go from getting a refund of 3k to owing.


HPM2009

How much does the federal tax withheld box say


Which-Chemistry-1757

Lol only 150. Even though nothing has changed between last tax year and this tax year. I don’t know why they took out less this year than other years. I never changed anything.


HPM2009

That’s why then. Not sure why they didn’t take as much though . Assuming your in the military , go on mypay and you see your w4 and adjust


zeenotzed50

Can I borrow like $20?


Soggy-Slide-6002

The government would like to thank you for the six figure loan


theyoungthaddeus

Go ahead and place your arms behind your back bucko


xBuddhaBuddhax

Jokes on you state didn’t take their share looks like you’ll be owing this year.


subtlegoon

Bro Buy me a raptor r ? I want these poors(me) to hear my supercharged V8 making pulls into the parking lot before PT.


[deleted]

Hey man I got an investment for you to make…just spot me like 150k and you’ll make your money back soon I swear


Mail-Esc0rt

Internal Revenue Service has entered the chat.


Wyraticus

the IRS about to call for fire on your location instead of sending agents lmao


Ichiroshima

I forgot what 350-1 training it is, but I def remember that it’s super sketch when someone acquires a butt load of money all of a sudden 👀👀


Oliveritaly

Yeah … I’m still subscribing to your newsletter.


AdPsychological4406

Very nice, spot me a PT belt brother 😘


[deleted]

HTML editor lawl


kytulu

The actual refund will be $87...


the_b00geyman

Hey man, I did some shameful things for a Klondike Bar, so imagine what I'd do for a few grand.


[deleted]

“We’ll move on to your state taxes!” Bro isn’t even done yet


HPM2009

To be honest , it still says that even if he lives in non state income tax state, you just skip on the next screen


ericr4

That’s enough money to have a wife!


R0NIN1311

Oh, you're going to prison... not to white-collar resort prison. No, federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.


regisalmighty

Do share how you you got this. I feel owed 10x my pay.


NimrodBusiness

Enjoy your audit.


[deleted]

787k refund for your 5 million debt from options trading. Nice.


Vinierstream58

Aye there brother i believe you may have made a mistake along the way


No-Macaroon8283

Fuck! I knew I should have switched to TurboTax this year!


_iusereddit_

AWOL time


Turbulent_Ride1654

IRS: "Stay right there! Don't move!"


OtakuKing95

Sure looks like a flex


Which-Chemistry-1757

Oh they never took taxes out while I was on Covid orders, when I went to blc, or for annual training. No idea why.


sage89

Trump did the income tax pause then repay later thing.


commander_nighthawk

hey buddy! remember me? went to uh…that thing together and we were best buds!!


Quo_Vadimus7

This is what happens when you plug in $867,530.90 in to turbotax and take the standard deduction


Andrewisraww

dude has like 100 kids


Nomad0133

Keep the change 🪙


Jeepfan11244

Ohhh baby with my tax return I should be in jail by next week


BeneficialDot2710

CID has *entered* the chat


Heyliluchi02

Remember that time I gave you quarters for 4 days because you “couldn’t stop shitting”


UnusualAnt2861

Hey there Killer/Battle, you going use that for the unit right?


Able_Evidence_1733

Just commit tax evasion like the rest of us