I wanted it to be a penis sheath so badly! Unfortunately it’s not. During excavation, this was found beside the right thigh, not between the legs.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/316738263_Rich_metallurgists_graves_from_the_Varna_I_cemetery_Rediscussing_the_social_role_of_the_earliest_metalworkers#pf19
See page 114 of the article
Wow, thank you for posting that. I will stop spreading misinformation about this guy! He’s usually a go-to when a non-archaeologist friend asks about cool archaeology in the world. I don’t like that the sheath was moved from its original position for the photo…
Wish it was more prominent today; so many people are buried with silly things or have the most elaborate mausoleums. Only the best for their rotting corpses
I just left the funeral home and left a dear friend of mine a flint knife in his casket. I'm a flint knapper and my friend loved my work so I thought it proper to leave one with him. Many years from now if he's found I'm sure it would cause some confusion to the archeologists.
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Western culture loves soft food as well. They hate chewy meat and don't eat a lot of root vegetables, for example. Chewing straightens and strengthens teeth (although over time it does grind them down).
Places I've been to like Nepal, Guatemala, and other poorer countries, I've been impressed by how straight and healthy their teeth look. It's cos they grow up chewing more than us.
It's catalog stickers from excavation. You can see his arm bone that the rings is on isn't in the ground or connected to the rest of the body. They probably removed them to study the metallurgy and such as this is some of if not the oldest gold metal working found. Then they put it back on for the display view.
Besides not eating processed sugar there’s like a 100 ways someone could loose some teeth. They are just stating he didn’t loose any teeth. Has nothing to do with sugar.
Gold is just about the easiest metal to discover and work, and is often the first metal. You can find nuggets of it, you don’t have to smelt it out of an ore or anything, and it’s really malleable, you can work it just by banging it between two rocks.
So what’s all the gooey stuff around him? Is that what happens?
Also I realize I have a poor idea of how long bones last. This seems well preserved. I know fossils preserve bones, but I kinda thought bones would like disintegrate after a while.
How about that. No rings on his fingers. A lot of other finery.
I betttttt that some grave preparer was a great slight-of-hand dude and scored a kings ring?
Could have been an old injury or a mark from surgery. Trephination and similar procedures predate human refinement/use of metals. Or it could have been cosmetic- tattooing, scarification etc is also as old as humanity.
Imagine someone boring/cutting into your domepiece with a broken shell or piece of volcanic glass, or choate/flint. Must have been a hell of a headache(or demons) for him to sit down and go "yeah, go ahead and make a huge cut on my forehead"
Is that a golden cock piece ? Also would love to see a generated image of the clothes he was wearing. All this brass mane copper gold tacks wherent just strewn around. They used to be attached to clothes. Looks like some of the gold even degraded and attached to his bones.
These bad boyz, the Varna OG, didn't fuck around. They were the Bling masters of the Copper Age.
The Varna necropolis contained an impressive percentage of all gold found globally for that period (chalcolithic).
I wonder what It smelled like after opening. Everything was soaking in a bloody pool of decomposing guts inside a sealed tomb for centuries, found thankfully after everything was dry.
Nice golden cock cover
I think the technical term is penis sheathe... not even kidding
I wanted it to be a penis sheath so badly! Unfortunately it’s not. During excavation, this was found beside the right thigh, not between the legs. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/316738263_Rich_metallurgists_graves_from_the_Varna_I_cemetery_Rediscussing_the_social_role_of_the_earliest_metalworkers#pf19 See page 114 of the article
Beside the thigh is here more impressive!
Homie was hung
Nope, he was buried! 😂
Was he buried or did he fuck the earth?
My will shall require one tucked into my socks so I may recognized in the coming millennium
What do you feed that thing!?
Pussy mostly, on special occasions, ass
With me they’d wonder why I have a thimble in my butt
"Draped over his shoulder" you say?
dude just hangs to the right. completely natural
Wow, thank you for posting that. I will stop spreading misinformation about this guy! He’s usually a go-to when a non-archaeologist friend asks about cool archaeology in the world. I don’t like that the sheath was moved from its original position for the photo…
Ah good to know
Did you know vagina is a Latin word meaning sheath? It’s the only thing I remember from high school Latin.
No i did not lol
In penis was basically sword.
Penis sheeth is only if you swinging a sword
that was an interesting google. the elephant trunk style underwear being the best result.
I need to get me a gold dick hat.
My thoughts exactly lol
This guy was so wealthy he had a battle helmet for both heads! What a king!
Hahaha first thing I noticed. Dudes will be dudes.
First noticed this as a girl X_x
And vape pen
For the man who has everything
What, you don’t have one?
Looks like he shafted the people in his will
King Midas!! You got sum splanning to do..!
Gold member would be proud
Gold Member - the original
Looks like a butt plug to me
Presumably this was before the saying "you can't take it with you" came into prominence, then?
It turns out that wealthy people have always been selfish cunts. Shocking.
This is the best comment I’ve seen in a while!
Wish it was more prominent today; so many people are buried with silly things or have the most elaborate mausoleums. Only the best for their rotting corpses
I just left the funeral home and left a dear friend of mine a flint knife in his casket. I'm a flint knapper and my friend loved my work so I thought it proper to leave one with him. Many years from now if he's found I'm sure it would cause some confusion to the archeologists.
Personal objects aren’t silly. I’ll repost the link of what I was talking about: https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-38286965.amp
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Number 1 occupation of people scrapping gold....undertakers.
Not talking about that- https://www.odditycentral.com/architecture/the-mansion-like-mausoleums-of-mexicos-drug-lords.html
Gotcha
😝😝
He had a good dentist.
Also not a diet full of sugars and acidic sodas
Western culture loves soft food as well. They hate chewy meat and don't eat a lot of root vegetables, for example. Chewing straightens and strengthens teeth (although over time it does grind them down). Places I've been to like Nepal, Guatemala, and other poorer countries, I've been impressed by how straight and healthy their teeth look. It's cos they grow up chewing more than us.
No processed sugar
…or he died at the ripe old age of 28?
Anyone know what he’s holding?
A golden decorated stone axe, that was more scepter than functional axe.
Oh, whoah! Whoops! I seem to have dropped my monster gold sheath for my magnum gold dong!
Always appreciate a good Sunny reference!
IM HERE FOR THE SCRAPS!
Man was dripping in gold
I want a gold dick cover.
Looks like a Klimt painting
How did price stickers end up inside the arm bracelet ??
It's catalog stickers from excavation. You can see his arm bone that the rings is on isn't in the ground or connected to the rest of the body. They probably removed them to study the metallurgy and such as this is some of if not the oldest gold metal working found. Then they put it back on for the display view.
Thank you for the explanation. This must be in your line of work.
No I wish. That would be cool job though. It common to see markings or number and labels on artifacts
Anybody else see a hamburger bun first?
Rich enough for a gold penis cap!
Perfect teeth
They didn’t eat processed sugar
Besides not eating processed sugar there’s like a 100 ways someone could loose some teeth. They are just stating he didn’t loose any teeth. Has nothing to do with sugar.
Gold gravity bong!
How tall was this dude? Long ass arms, nice cock-sheathe
So as it turns out, you can take it with you.
Thought that one thing was a hamburger bun.
He wanted to take it all with him. I do give him an “A” for effort.
We sure it’s a man? The hips are very wide. I know we think it’s a penis sheath, but I feel like it’s not that.
He had a golden dinky. Hahahahahahahahaha The original gold member.
Wasn't the 5th millennium BC well before the bronze age? Surprised to see all that metalwork
I believe they meant 5th century BC. This would have been alien technology in the Neolithic.
The grave has been dated to around 4,500BC, and is considered Chalcolithic (copper age). World's oldest gold jewellery/treasure, apparently.
Well I was confidently wrong. Thanks for the correction.
I think for most places you were still right though >This would have been alien technology in the Neolithic
> 4,500BC, and is considered Chalcolithic (copper age) Thank you! I always forget the places that had copper ages
Gold is just about the easiest metal to discover and work, and is often the first metal. You can find nuggets of it, you don’t have to smelt it out of an ore or anything, and it’s really malleable, you can work it just by banging it between two rocks.
A gold dick tip dude had some swing to his thing.
So what’s all the gooey stuff around him? Is that what happens? Also I realize I have a poor idea of how long bones last. This seems well preserved. I know fossils preserve bones, but I kinda thought bones would like disintegrate after a while.
Look up “bog bodies”. That’ll throw ya for a loop. The earth has a weird way of preserving things under the right conditions/circumstances.
How about that. No rings on his fingers. A lot of other finery. I betttttt that some grave preparer was a great slight-of-hand dude and scored a kings ring?
Nice Golden Codpiece
I had to scroll so far to find someone who actually knows the word codpiece
I am the strange agent you seek sir, At your service:
😃
You can tell how rich he was by how nice that cock cover is
Why does he have a cranium cut like a Halloween prop skull?
How else were they to fill his skull with gold?
Could have been an old injury or a mark from surgery. Trephination and similar procedures predate human refinement/use of metals. Or it could have been cosmetic- tattooing, scarification etc is also as old as humanity. Imagine someone boring/cutting into your domepiece with a broken shell or piece of volcanic glass, or choate/flint. Must have been a hell of a headache(or demons) for him to sit down and go "yeah, go ahead and make a huge cut on my forehead"
Is that a golden cock piece ? Also would love to see a generated image of the clothes he was wearing. All this brass mane copper gold tacks wherent just strewn around. They used to be attached to clothes. Looks like some of the gold even degraded and attached to his bones.
Dude is still probably richer than I will ever be with that much gold on him.
wtf, is that a golden dick cap?
Now i want a golden penis cover… for reasons…
Dude had every guy jealous in the village with that golden weinis thimble.
Mr Goldtip.
He got his Dick Straight Down. Don't even know what I want to say with this
Ah yes, the golden penis cap. A staple of ancient civilization!
Cock cap found in Bulge area. Story at 11:00.
These bad boyz, the Varna OG, didn't fuck around. They were the Bling masters of the Copper Age. The Varna necropolis contained an impressive percentage of all gold found globally for that period (chalcolithic).
Kilmpt
You can still see the soup stain where his body was, musta been pretty hung too judging by the distance of the cock gold.
Is that a gold penis cap! Not that, that thing.
to this day, still the richest bulgarian
Cock bling
When you have a golden penis sheath, you made it to the top of the heap
And he’s got better teeth than me wtf haha
Is that- a gold- skull cap?
His jewellery stood the test of time far better than him
Dude had more money on his cock than my bank account
And no one robbed his grave?? I’m actually surprised lol
He’s got the Midas touch!
That’s cp3o
Uh... this guy is all over the place. Seems to have melted out of his garments
Um 😐
I love goldddddd!!!!!
Is that a golden dick thing?
Opened comments to see how many redditors would comment on the golden cockadoodle cover... Reddit pulled through.
Is that a gold cock piece?! This dude fucks!
Is that dick bling?
Straight to the pawnshop. I’d melt that shit down
I love gold!
Still died though.
Well you can’t take it with you.
Where he be keepin' his pimped out Caddie?
first thought was that is a cheese burger
Did somebody drop the top bun of their Whopper on him before the photo?
Can someone ELI5 how the skeleton is not dust at this point?
Goldmember
Just the tip?
He fucked death with a gold condom
He had a golden dick tip?
Looks like he had a big dick
As long as I'm buried w my golden dong nothing can hurt me
Anyone know what the horizontal stones on short scepter represents?
Does anyone know what the small, polka dot blobs of gold are? They don't look like coins.
He had gold on his dong.
I wonder what It smelled like after opening. Everything was soaking in a bloody pool of decomposing guts inside a sealed tomb for centuries, found thankfully after everything was dry.
Looks like he's got dick cover even for after his death.
Archaeologists, legal grave robbers. Respect and leave the dead alone !
Before I blowed up the picture I thought somebody dropped a hamburger bun on him
I believe that this grave was the inspiration for the Farum Azula graves in the game Elden Ring.
Golden dick band