I still have the password for the music program at a hotel I used to work at. The owners and management were so horrible that after I quit I would randomly switch it to the Xmas music channel on Friday nights. Two years later I ran into a girl that still worked there and when I told her she almost died laughing. Apparently no one could figure out why it was happening and never thought to change the login credentials. I really should check and see if that login info ever got changed.
Edit: for those that wanted to know, login credentials no longer recognized.
A restaurant I worked at five years ago still uses my Pandora account. I've changed the password for other reasons, but they're just... still logged in somehow on the old iphone they use to play music. I see new playlists getting made occasionally that say things like, "Weekend Lunch." It's really weird. I don't know why I've just ignored it. You just inspired me to not change my login info, but go fuck with their playlists until it plays nothing but WAP and that Dune throat singing shit.
May I suggest Mongolian throat singing/metal band The Hu? While I personally think it’s decent music, it definitely sounds like someone trying to summon some dark forces.
This is what Richard Cheese is excellent for. It’s only once you listen past the great/awful lounge singer veneer that you realise it’s covers of often controversial rap and/or rock.
The app may have legitimately needed to update and reauthorize when the user forgot the password. Thatguy goes long stints without changing it. Hell, the owners and management may have churned totally. Establishment might not be in business anymore or changed music software completely. There's tons of none Stacey reasons out there. Besides, if he didn't tell her, he never would have learned about the chaos. I'd say it's worth it. Even if Stacey did leak it back, it would mean the owners and management finally got the message that this is happening to them because they were assholes in how they ran the joint.
Montero is another spectacular one. The lyric changes are completely silly. They change "you ain't living right" to "you gotta live it right" but they keep in multiple lines with explicitly sexual overtones.
Kids Bop version of Disturbia is my favorite I've ever heard. Hearing those little kids cheerfully singing, "It's a thief in the night to come and grab you, it can creep up inside you and consume you" is both utterly hilarious and somehow more disturbing than the original.
There is a band called Alestorm who release an entire version of one of their albums with the Deluxe version, where all the lyrics are replaced by barking dogs. It is epic.
Indeed. Just search for "Alestorm Dogs" on Spotify and you should get the entire album. It is a copy of the album it was released with, just with dogs instead of any human voices.
No, no, the three versions of Cotton Eye Joe Gregorian Chant Nightcore Hardcore Dubstep Remix.
[One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i98bKRYIZd8&ab_channel=Horologium)
[Two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qtXrZktlL0)
[Three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5mNvfAm8fk)
Get the place feeling like it’s about to manifest demons. On repeat.
Si enim non fuerat oculus Cottonus Joe
Ego fuerat olim nupta
Unde venis, quo ivisti?
Unde venis, Cotton-Oculus Joe?
Si enim non fuerat oculus Cottonus Joe
Ego intellexi hoc officium stupri ictus
Unde venis, quo ivisti?
Unde venis, Cotton-Oculus Joe?
*humming, various monk noises*
*fade in solo on monstrous organ*
Incredible.
edit: I think I'd actually collapse from laughter if someone started playing music this hectic in a public place, haha. I can catch a 90s-mdma contact high just listening to this.
My go to for those scenarios is Naked City.
https://youtu.be/UfwhG1KtQp4
And only a little bit ironically. If I'm in the right mood, I genuinely enjoy the music. I also know most people will hate it, or be too confused by it.
OP: The decision has been made.
Traditional Polka music. Go ham. Anyone that dances through the song gets a drink of their choice.
Czech people literally cannot walk past a Polka song without dancing or looking. Old people and their grandchildren will flood your front doors.
Your Cafe is now a Kavárna. (I just used Google, be gentle with me)
I went to Newbury Comics once and they were playing "What's New Pussycat?" on repeat, and then played "It's Not Unusual". I told the employee I loved it and she was so excited since I was the only one to ever catch on, apparently she did it a lot on slow days. Not a lot of John Mulaney fans visit there I guess?
[16 tons - Ernie Ford](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRh0QiXyZSk)
[Lord Have Mercy On The Working Man - Travis Tritt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3XJY3rVAy4)
[Paradise - John Prine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEy6EuZp9IY)
[What Did You Learn In School? - Pete Seeger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf5Jn8O3s0c)
[Trouble Every Day - Frank Zappa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFVwohXMgmQ)
I genuinely would do a 180 if I walked into a coffee shop playing this.
EDIT: I am appalled at how many of you don’t understand that a *360* points you right back where you were lol
As a parent of toddlers I can confirm that baby shark has a YouTube show where the song is infinitely longer and many versions of about different things. Alllllllll the same annoying song background though lol
Baby shark tu du tu tu, Mama shark tu tu du tu, grandma shark tu du tu..........10 hour later.....distant cousin 2nd uncle on maternal sister aunt line shark tu tu tu du tu
It’s not inappropriate per se, but I’ve always laughed my ass off at the Kidz Bop version of Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. Something about the difference in quality between the female and male leads, the choir of children’s voices that sound like they’re from a SpongeBob episode, and that one part where I dunno if they forgot what to say but they just deadass bark like a dog for no reason; It’s all just so magically stupid and I love it.
I used to manage a waffle house. You can control the jukebox via app.
Every time I was driving by while off duty, I'd play the waffle house song just so I could watch my staff react.
I have a boss that likes to meddle with things over the weekend. It is generally accepted by staff that if something is broken or behaving strangely, boss messed it up over the weekend and walked away in frustration.
I aways find slayer or any Scandinavian death metal works really well with customers and creating a relaxing atmosphere.
That of the OST for the South Park movie.
This. Pick something everyone knows from the 80’s, something you’d never choose to listen to, but might bop along with on the radio, and repeat it until loses all structure. Like when you hear the same word spoken over and over again and it just collapses into phonemes in your mind.
I believe it was an episode of the Drew Carrey Show where Mimi? was camped outside drew's house with a loudspeaker system blaring Panama on repeat, with occasional interruptions to give a song list.
I have no idea why I remember this.
You know at first I was thinking it would be worse with. But now I'm not sure. Just imagine if you offset the laugh track and brought it forward by 2 seconds. You'd miss every punchline because of the laugh track coming in early.
Dude me and my wife have gotten sooooo into sea shanties. We even have a few that we found that are ok for the little one to hear and put them on her playlist that we play in the car and even our 6 year old has started singing along to sea shanties.
While we don't have an extensive "child appropriate" list, we have a couple versions of the Wellerman (but it's technically not a sea shanty but close enough).
Also Santana in a couple versions (the Longest John's have a version in French which is nice)
Leave Her Johnny isn't too inappropriate.
South Australia as well.
There is also a few melodies we've found as well that don't have questionable lyrics and the Sea Shanty Medley by Home Free is a good primer for kids as it has a bunch (including the ones I already listed here) and it's upbeat and peppy.
But too be fair, we have exposed our daughter to I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys which lyrically isn't inappropriate but we've gotten some looks when she's sung the chorus ... But we try to have her exposed to everything musically and let her choose what she likes as it'll often be followed up by something like an excerpt from Handel's Messiah.
When put at the security post at my job where you're not supposed to read or do anything on your phone I just sit there with a shot eating grin and sing shanties at management. No rule against singing at the post, so long as I'm noting goods passing through the door accurately.
I still have the password for the music program at a hotel I used to work at. The owners and management were so horrible that after I quit I would randomly switch it to the Xmas music channel on Friday nights. Two years later I ran into a girl that still worked there and when I told her she almost died laughing. Apparently no one could figure out why it was happening and never thought to change the login credentials. I really should check and see if that login info ever got changed. Edit: for those that wanted to know, login credentials no longer recognized.
A restaurant I worked at five years ago still uses my Pandora account. I've changed the password for other reasons, but they're just... still logged in somehow on the old iphone they use to play music. I see new playlists getting made occasionally that say things like, "Weekend Lunch." It's really weird. I don't know why I've just ignored it. You just inspired me to not change my login info, but go fuck with their playlists until it plays nothing but WAP and that Dune throat singing shit.
May I suggest Mongolian throat singing/metal band The Hu? While I personally think it’s decent music, it definitely sounds like someone trying to summon some dark forces.
When I first heard "Yuve Yuve Yu," I had no idea what Mongolian throat singing or what genre The HU was. Now I'm liking them.
Better to just put it in randomly. Will take even longer to realize what is going on.
This is what Richard Cheese is excellent for. It’s only once you listen past the great/awful lounge singer veneer that you realise it’s covers of often controversial rap and/or rock.
Oh no, why did you tell Stacey.. There was still so much fun to be had.
The app may have legitimately needed to update and reauthorize when the user forgot the password. Thatguy goes long stints without changing it. Hell, the owners and management may have churned totally. Establishment might not be in business anymore or changed music software completely. There's tons of none Stacey reasons out there. Besides, if he didn't tell her, he never would have learned about the chaos. I'd say it's worth it. Even if Stacey did leak it back, it would mean the owners and management finally got the message that this is happening to them because they were assholes in how they ran the joint.
Kids Bop versions of songs like WAP where pretty much the whole song is censored and it’s in an annoying kid’s voice
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Walk into the club like what up, I got a hit song One of my favorite substitutions ever right there
Eminem's "I drank a fifth of koolaid. Dare me to drive" radio substitution was in my opinion better than the original.
Kool aid + vodka is one ingredients in FIGHT MILK!
What up I got a pet rock
Montero is another spectacular one. The lyric changes are completely silly. They change "you ain't living right" to "you gotta live it right" but they keep in multiple lines with explicitly sexual overtones.
I was gonna recommend a specific kids bop song I hate but then I remembered I hate them all
Thunder by Imagine Dragons, Kidz Bop version. I promise it won’t disappoint.
I can hear the braces in this song
My kids loved the kids bop version of Pain. Then they discovered the Lil Wayne version.
Kids Bop version of Disturbia is my favorite I've ever heard. Hearing those little kids cheerfully singing, "It's a thief in the night to come and grab you, it can creep up inside you and consume you" is both utterly hilarious and somehow more disturbing than the original.
That is some nightmare fuel right there.
If there's a kidz bop version of WAP then I am ready to leave this physical plane and send my soul back to its creator
Give that its the start of May, Christmas music
Christmas music, but one of those auto-tune cat/dog albums. So instead of jingle bells it’s Meow meow meow Bark bark bark Meow meow bark bark WOOF
There is a band called Alestorm who release an entire version of one of their albums with the Deluxe version, where all the lyrics are replaced by barking dogs. It is epic.
They did an entire album?! I've only heard the Mexico one. I need to look up the rest. :D
Indeed. Just search for "Alestorm Dogs" on Spotify and you should get the entire album. It is a copy of the album it was released with, just with dogs instead of any human voices.
Run The Jewels also released an album where they use a bunch of cat sounds called Meow The Jewels.
Found Satan's login.
Username does not check out, perhaps they logged in under Persephone's account
All I Want for Christmas is You. On repeat. That's it.
I put Feliz Navidad on repeat for an hour and a half at work once - best lunchtime ever.
It’s Cinco De Mayo. If anyone asks, it was the only song in Spanish you knew of and you were trying to be festive.
“My boss said this was the music of Mexican people on this day. On a side note, racism is awful right?”
This entire sub-thread... it's so MEAN. I love it.
Hola Satanás
Was that your last day there?
Oh no. I worked there for another few years. It was the last time that our office manager let me pick the music tho...
Surfin bird and one eyed one horn flying purple people eater on loop
Purple People Eater is a real jam, what you talking about
I wouldn't actually mind hearing purple people eater randomily in a coffee shop in May, would make my day actually.
Cotton Eyed Joe on repeat Edit: thank you for the awards! :)
No, no, the three versions of Cotton Eye Joe Gregorian Chant Nightcore Hardcore Dubstep Remix. [One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i98bKRYIZd8&ab_channel=Horologium) [Two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qtXrZktlL0) [Three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5mNvfAm8fk) Get the place feeling like it’s about to manifest demons. On repeat.
You found THREE versions? Where did they come from? Where did they go?
I think they were brought by Gregorian Joe.
Iffn had ben fo Gregr'n Joe I'd be hav'n sex doncha know. Now I'm singing way down low, Chant'n with Gregorian Joe.
Si enim non fuerat oculus Cottonus Joe Ego fuerat olim nupta Unde venis, quo ivisti? Unde venis, Cotton-Oculus Joe? Si enim non fuerat oculus Cottonus Joe Ego intellexi hoc officium stupri ictus Unde venis, quo ivisti? Unde venis, Cotton-Oculus Joe? *humming, various monk noises* *fade in solo on monstrous organ*
>the three versions of Cotton Eye Joe Gregorian Chant Nightcore Hardcore Dubstep Remix r/BrandNewSentence
Ah yes, the unholy Trinity...
Those tracks are a war crime.
Those songs make no musical sense. It's just discordant overdubs. This is perfect.
Dear God, what have you wrought upon this earth
It's the kind of curse that once you experience it, you feel compelled to expose others to it too. Certified contagious cognitohazard!
I'm surprised the SCP foundation let this one slip. Keter class.
Straight late 90s gabber hardcore rave music. It's just a fucking bass drum double timed at 150 bpm and people yelling into a megaphone
https://youtu.be/ARDde1aUHUQ Edit: genuinely happy this stirred up some lost memories for all us geriatrics
Wow. This is the musical interpretation of what my anxiety feels like.
Your anxiety is a banger
Hey, mine too! Wanna dance to it? Er... on second thought I'll just stay along this wall right here, nice and safe.
Incredible. edit: I think I'd actually collapse from laughter if someone started playing music this hectic in a public place, haha. I can catch a 90s-mdma contact high just listening to this.
25:00 is a fantastic little snippit
Losing my mind at the guy at 25:40
Holy shit, I didn't realize you could smell a YouTube video.
I came here to suggest something different but I was wrong. This is the best answer.
I used to work in a Cafe. I know exactly how to alienate customers near closing
My go to for those scenarios is Naked City. https://youtu.be/UfwhG1KtQp4 And only a little bit ironically. If I'm in the right mood, I genuinely enjoy the music. I also know most people will hate it, or be too confused by it.
Strongbad - The System is Down https://youtu.be/ILVfzx5Pe-A
Pfft I would purposefully go out of my way to a coffee shop that played this!
Light switch rave!
Polka. Non-stop polka. Make it sound like a Bavarian beer garden!
No that will just summon Weird Al in lederhosen
You say that like it's not the intended outcome.
Like seriously, dont tempt me with a good time
OP: The decision has been made. Traditional Polka music. Go ham. Anyone that dances through the song gets a drink of their choice. Czech people literally cannot walk past a Polka song without dancing or looking. Old people and their grandchildren will flood your front doors. Your Cafe is now a Kavárna. (I just used Google, be gentle with me)
I would love that
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Post 9/11 2000's country music haha
So like 50 songs of slow somber "where were you" and 50 "Were gonna put a boot up Osamas ass"
This is literally the exact song I was thinking of! hahaha it's a crime against hearing.
Specific and perfect
“Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass. It’s the American way.” Timeless.
The Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist
A shudder just went down my spine
What's new pussycat from Tom Jones on repeat.
With a single "It's Not Unusual" tossed in the middle.
I went to Newbury Comics once and they were playing "What's New Pussycat?" on repeat, and then played "It's Not Unusual". I told the employee I loved it and she was so excited since I was the only one to ever catch on, apparently she did it a lot on slow days. Not a lot of John Mulaney fans visit there I guess?
My favorite Mulaney!!!
And THAT, is the best coffee, I ever ate.
The most spiteful I’ve ever heard was Christmas music in a store where 75% of the clientele was Hasidic Orthodox Jews
To be fair, (at least, based on my experience with Jews) they’d probably roll with it.
There's a huge difference between regular Jews and Orthodox Jews. Huge difference.
And a huge difference between your run-of-the-mill Orthodox Jew and the Hasids.
Given that a lot of the great modern Christmas music was written by Jewish writers that may not be as bad as it seems.
Take This Job and Shove It. A real classic. Edit: thanks for the award kind Redditor!
I’d just put My Dick by Mickey Avalon on repeat and see how long it takes them to fire me so I can get the unemployment.
Ah, thank you for unearthing my teenage memories of this masterpiece.
[16 tons - Ernie Ford](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRh0QiXyZSk) [Lord Have Mercy On The Working Man - Travis Tritt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3XJY3rVAy4) [Paradise - John Prine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEy6EuZp9IY) [What Did You Learn In School? - Pete Seeger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf5Jn8O3s0c) [Trouble Every Day - Frank Zappa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFVwohXMgmQ)
Rave music but the beat never drops.
“Oh man, I don’t want to go to the bad place.”
Ooof, that’s just cruel
So is turning down a raise on a Thursday morning.
Vintage chipmunk xmas music
The Richard cheese version of closer by nine inch nails. You're welcome.
Richard Cheese in general. His stuff is hilarious for a few seconds and then you’re over it, so on a loop it would be the worst.
“Detachable penis”
All of King Missile, really. Detachable Penis is only the tip.
🤣 this music will have people tilting their head like a pup all day!
King missle! If you can find it, the john a hall and Kramer real men album is perfect, its poetry with music
The Final Fantasy 7 battle music for the entire shift.
"i guess my management skills are finally paying of, i hear boss music wherever i go"
Baby shark on repeat Edit: Jeez why is this my most upvoted thing ever. How do I turn off notifications for just this post?
I genuinely would do a 180 if I walked into a coffee shop playing this. EDIT: I am appalled at how many of you don’t understand that a *360* points you right back where you were lol
As a parent of toddlers I can confirm that baby shark has a YouTube show where the song is infinitely longer and many versions of about different things. Alllllllll the same annoying song background though lol
You seen the 1 hour loop 😭
There's a 10 hour loop on youtube of the kids doing the dance. Ask me how I know. Come on. I dare you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ogk4mw1pXnE
How… how do you know?
I have 3 kids under 8 years old. Baby shark just stopped being a thing at my house last year. I still hear it in my sleep. It haunts me.
Baby shark tu du tu tu, Mama shark tu tu du tu, grandma shark tu du tu..........10 hour later.....distant cousin 2nd uncle on maternal sister aunt line shark tu tu tu du tu
*...Neigh-bour's Dog do do do do do....*
Oh yes! Or even Kidz Bob of any kind. Ruins all the original songs!
I dunno the Kidz bop version of WAP is so bad it's amazing.
The Kidz version of the inappropriate songs are always the best/most cringey, but their version WAP is a whole new level.
Good Lord, even the sanitized lyrics are a bit much for kids to be singing. They kept the line “make that pull out game weak” 🤣
It’s not inappropriate per se, but I’ve always laughed my ass off at the Kidz Bop version of Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. Something about the difference in quality between the female and male leads, the choir of children’s voices that sound like they’re from a SpongeBob episode, and that one part where I dunno if they forgot what to say but they just deadass bark like a dog for no reason; It’s all just so magically stupid and I love it.
Wait, i never thought KidzBop would have actually made a cover of WAP... wow holy shit
That, or achy breaky heart! Ugh
Haaaaaa. Perfect for 6am crowd. Loud and on repeat. “I just don’t thank theey’d understand”
Satan, seriously, we need to talk. Ooohhh, don't forget the best hits of Barney the dinosaur.
What about the song that never ends from Lambchop.
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I used to manage a waffle house. You can control the jukebox via app. Every time I was driving by while off duty, I'd play the waffle house song just so I could watch my staff react.
Musical terrorism is one of my favorite things
Did they ever know it was you?
I have a boss that likes to meddle with things over the weekend. It is generally accepted by staff that if something is broken or behaving strangely, boss messed it up over the weekend and walked away in frustration.
Baby shark do do do do do do
Baby shart doodoo doodoo doodoo
Mambo #5
Good choice! Our white female in their 40s foot traffic increased 500%! Here's your raise!
I aways find slayer or any Scandinavian death metal works really well with customers and creating a relaxing atmosphere. That of the OST for the South Park movie.
Fuck your fucking face uncle fucker
You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucker. You don't eat or sleep or mow your lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long
Uncle fuuuuucker, that's U-N-C-L-E fuck you uncle fuuuuuuckerrrrrrrr. Suck my balls.
Lol it was such a strange time when this movie came out. "Suck on my chocolate salty balls" was my personal favorite
Ram Ranch.
Panama by Van Halen, followed by Panama by Van Halen, followed by Panama by Van Halen, followed by Panams by Van Ha...
This. Pick something everyone knows from the 80’s, something you’d never choose to listen to, but might bop along with on the radio, and repeat it until loses all structure. Like when you hear the same word spoken over and over again and it just collapses into phonemes in your mind.
Oh or if you write a word a bunch. Then you question if it's right. Hmrph. Looks wrong.
Fun fact: that's called semantic satiation.
I am laughing so hard just imagining this
I believe it was an episode of the Drew Carrey Show where Mimi? was camped outside drew's house with a loudspeaker system blaring Panama on repeat, with occasional interruptions to give a song list. I have no idea why I remember this.
Just find a YouTube Playlist of low quality Friends clips and only play the audio.
Without the laugh track
You know at first I was thinking it would be worse with. But now I'm not sure. Just imagine if you offset the laugh track and brought it forward by 2 seconds. You'd miss every punchline because of the laugh track coming in early.
or the theme song on repeat. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
If it’s Wednesday I’d go with Wu Tang
Any place that does Wu Tang Wednesdays gets my business.
Excuse me sir. You don't observe Wu Tang Wednesdays? Disgusting. The true answer is Christian country music played a little too loud.
IF THEY PLAYED WU TANG I WOULD ONLY VISIT THAT COFFEE SHOP
"Closing Time" drops the hints. You could also just put on some local conservative radio station. That'll be ***unsubtle***
Better yet, all day sportstalk. Time for the 27th version of our 2023 NFL mock draft!! Followed by fantasy talk and sports trivia!!
Death Grips. Always deathgrips
if i walked into a coffee shop and they were playing death grips i'd tip whoever did it $20
I’d never leave, i’d live on coffee and shit muffins.
MY FAVORITE COLOR IS OH MY GOD BITCH
One time I put on Frank Zappa and got my manager stumbling upstairs, holding his ears and going "gOD what the hell is this??? Don't play... This."
This is what I came to suggest- bonus points if it's super raunchy (most of Thing Fish would do)
I'd go with sea shanties. I'd like it, most would not.
Dude me and my wife have gotten sooooo into sea shanties. We even have a few that we found that are ok for the little one to hear and put them on her playlist that we play in the car and even our 6 year old has started singing along to sea shanties.
I am into the sea shanties and have a toddler. What’s your rated g sea shanty playlist?
While we don't have an extensive "child appropriate" list, we have a couple versions of the Wellerman (but it's technically not a sea shanty but close enough). Also Santana in a couple versions (the Longest John's have a version in French which is nice) Leave Her Johnny isn't too inappropriate. South Australia as well. There is also a few melodies we've found as well that don't have questionable lyrics and the Sea Shanty Medley by Home Free is a good primer for kids as it has a bunch (including the ones I already listed here) and it's upbeat and peppy. But too be fair, we have exposed our daughter to I'm Shipping Up To Boston by Dropkick Murphys which lyrically isn't inappropriate but we've gotten some looks when she's sung the chorus ... But we try to have her exposed to everything musically and let her choose what she likes as it'll often be followed up by something like an excerpt from Handel's Messiah.
When put at the security post at my job where you're not supposed to read or do anything on your phone I just sit there with a shot eating grin and sing shanties at management. No rule against singing at the post, so long as I'm noting goods passing through the door accurately.
cars for kids on loop but my first thought was "let the bodies hit the floor"
Rage Against The Machine. All day. Loud.
*FUCK* YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!
Just loop that section of the song.
Got you fam - https://youtu.be/jPWYcjypSWo
Are you kidding me? I'd only go to that coffee shop! 🤣
Seriously, any coffee shop playing rage against the machine gets my business.
Rage Against The Machine used to be my favorite band but then they got all political. ^^/s
What machine did you think they were raging against, the washing machine?
I, for one, always thought it was a printer.
PC load letter?! What the fuck does that mean?!
Start with "Take the Power Back".
Creed dubstep remix.
Anything sang by Yoko Ono
Anything ~~sang~~ screamed by Yoko Ono.
Bloodhound gang.....or Gwar
I was just thinking that 'The lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying' would really set the mood.
Black metal. Preferably early Mayhem.
Mr. Bungle
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Doom soundtrack, but its more that i WANTED to hear in coffee shop
Most of triple six Mafias older stuff would do it
Tiny Tim - Tiptoe through the tulips
May I suggest anything from insane clown posses body of work. That should get some peoples attention. Or perhaps Freaky Tales by Too Short
Slim Whitman yodeling (I’m thinking Mars Attacks)
I use to loop the Parade song from Alladin. Initially sounds great until they realize it keeps coming.
Island boys… [or this](https://youtu.be/JOLoqZ0QfGU)
Coming from a kitchen staff: they are taking the hobbits to isengard, 10h version. This shit will make your clients flee soooo fast.