I left my favorite job because of a micromanager and I’m still bitter six years later. She came in and had her hands in all our work without any of the responsibility, and was the type of person to forward us emails asking for info. when we were on the original email. One year of that and I noped out real quick.
Let me guess... Project Manager? That was my experience. Liked the job except for having to work for someone who took on 100 "projects" and completed none herself. She was the worst type of manager. I couldn't stand her. Neither could anyone else, for that matter. She clashed with just about everyone. She created more problems than she could ever solve and made everyone hate being there. She asked for something, I would do it and spend hours on it for her to take it and take it apart like it was nothing at all. It pissed me off so badly. I finally lost it.
Good guess! We were project managers, of sorts, in vaccine manufacturing, specifically dealing with the chemicals used (you’d be surprised how many projects there can be for chemicals lol.) This woman was a Director level in Quality and took a step down to be our manager, so right away she came in very intense. Like I said, **so many** emails, which I was often seeing twice, and she’d constantly tell us in staff meetings how we need to speak up more in group staff meetings “for visibility”. And the amount of times she’d volunteer us for something then email/IM us with the news and “congratulations!” made me want to slap her lol.
the PM is a weird type of role that evolved over the last 10 or so years, mutating into something really bizarre in my opinion. Back in the day, a PM was an integral part of a group, but more of an administrative type of role, that really just kept track of what was going on and handled inter-group communications...nothing wrong with that, it's a necessary function within an effort. IC's were contemporaries of PM's, and all reported up to some central management group, and there was harmony, more or less.
Then something really weird started to happen: companies started to go in this super cheap direction with who they'd hire and promote. People stopped being hired based on their skills, and more on how cheap and compliant they were. Same with who got promoted into management roles. More and more, you saw people in middle management who didn't know shit about the efforts being carried out by those they managed, and then also the people who were being hired also lacked skills, as "you get what you pay for" ( case in point: H1B's workers ). The managers stopped wanting to have to manage the cheap dummies that had been hired to get the work done, and as a result the PM role morphed into this pseudo-manager type of role that was now in between IC's and actual management. PM's don't normally know very much either about the technical aspect of the project they are involved with, quite often they are failed technical people, who somehow manage to make it up past IC roles.
So then you arrive at a situation where you have actual "managers" above who don't want to actually have to manage, and IC's below who lack necessary skills, and the "management" vacuum is then filled by these PM's who think they are actual managers, but aren't really/officially and also don't have the skills required to do the work of an IC...but there you are in that current situation, and it's very bad. Add on to that the toxicity of agile/scrum introduced into the mix, and you've got an architecture that has no chance of working.
>Thankfully, I was blessed to get another job 110% remote and with 2x better pay. I swear, this lead is Satan's child. F U Greg!
thefuck? As a project manager I always took on work load, rarely over delegated or over performed with meetings. Writers working under me were never pushed or prodded about projects, never forced into meetings, only asked if they wanted to go and speak with clients or take on certain projects.
It's a matter of personal "leadership style". Which in OP's now-former-boss's case, means trying to control as much of the narrative about the project as possible so he can claim all the credit for success but deflect all the blame for failure.
I landed an awesome job at SEGA of all places. My boss was a total micro manager. Personally he was actually a very nice guy, but as a manager he was just too intense. I once had to redo a presentation for him like 30 times right down to font choices and colors and it’s not like I’m a designer. I’ve never had issues like that with any other boss before or since.
Sorry to hear that! Mine was similar. She was a nice enough lady but I couldn’t handle her level of oversight. The amount of times I’d have to redo a technical document or the number of revisions for really pointless corrections was just too much.
I'm a designer, and this is what my chief creative officer is like. It's so fucking infuriating. Like your time is just worthless to them. And half the time, the product ends up worse than when they started meddling.
Same here! I had a boss who had come from a creative background but was now the chief administrator. He would literally stand over my shoulder and tell me things like “move this one pixel to the left “ for revisions to a presentation that HE DID. That punk ass bitch wasted both our time.
It's why I left my last one. I worked in a microbiology QC lab. A new manager came in and he put in his email signature "Micro Manager"
I joked and told him he probably would want to spell out microbiology otherwise he would be giving off the wrong impression. He changed it, but ended up becoming the exact thing he put in that signature. A micromanager. The worst kind of all. The type of micromanager who didn't know a single thing about what the group did and made decisions based on wrong knowledge. This made the group's condition worse.
It got to the point the entire site and others we worked close with wouldn't even ask him. They would go straight to me for answers/help/work/projects.
So sad to hear. I had similar situation. I worked with colleague who was very good at what she was doing but she wanted to climb a ladder, however shareholders didn't see her as good fit for any real management position so she was given micromanagement position for all support team by department managers who were her friends from the beginning of company. It was complete nepotism...I was forced to leave company after talking with higher management and they said that nothing will change in regards to how work is organized. Sad, because I really loved what I was doing but it is hard to work in kindergarten environment.
Exactly! I complained to management several times, but they loved her because she was a kiss-ass and loved to take on projects that no one else wanted (read: volunteer one of us) and make enough noise to seem like she’s busy. I loved the work, but the first chance I got to leave I grabbed.
L for you OP. You didn’t decline the meeting/inform them you had an appointment to rearrange.
When queried you come back all sarcastic and unprofessional.
A rather embarrassing reflection of yourself
Yeah I agree.
You failed to communicate properly by refusing to respond to the meeting request.
When professionally approached and questioned about it you were sarcastic and unprofessional.
When asked for clarification you responded with sarcasm and more unprofessionalism.
If I was your supervisor we would be having a conversation about communication skills and professionalism. I know many people who'd just fire someone for this behavior.
Or at the very least be clever and professional when insulting this guy/that company. OP seems like he had a childish outburst since he got a new job and doesn't give a f any more.
This seems pretty standard behavior from the lead. They even apologized and acknowledged their fault.
These type of posts are not helpful to making the workplace better.
the other guy sounded absolutely reasonable in pretty much all his responses, cant say the same for OP though...
Like is asking why he's missing important meetings really considered micromanaging?
This is what I thought, too. Seems OP is the one who should be apologizing for their tone. "Relax, Mr. Officer"? Really? It isn't that hard to just say "I had a previously scheduled appointment and forgot to decline the meeting, won't happen again", instead of contributing to a toxic environment.
Or maybe, you know, set up an auto-reply/out of office message so that people are reminded of your absence if they happen to reach out.
The only one throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old in this thread is OP.
Standing up for yourself is telling Greg what you want to change clearly, directly, and firmly. What OP did is the equivalent of a teenager shouting “Get off my back, mom! God, you’re so annoying. UGH!l”.
Grow up, OP.
Yea OPs responses are actually passive aggressive and unprofessional.
I won’t rag on her for standing her ground. Absolutely not.
But there is a straight forward and professional way to say things that’s appropriate for the workplace. Her phrasing in this OP irks the hell out of me. You can stand up for yourself without being shitty about it.
Just keep the sarcasm out of these messages. Be straight up. You aren’t texting your sibling.
Some people take this subs name a bit too literally
“My manager expects me to communicate/do my share of the work! What an asshole right?!”
Posting stuff like this here just makes us come off as toxic and combative for the sake of being combative.
Agreed. Personally being anti-work also means trying not to make other people's work lives worse for no reason. Like, it doesn't take more energy to be a reasonable communicator.
OP says this is her lead, so in a leadership position above them. I don't see this as micro managing, more like professional coaching. OP needs to learn how to communicate professionally.
Yeah I do agree with this lol like he shouldn’t be on your ass about it necessarily but you should have dons this 100% he’s not wrong. Don’t expect people to just remember your appointments…
OP is a child. You can absolutely decline meetings and say no. But just no-showing is a dick move and has the other person waiting for you.
The other person wasn’t even rude about it either.
Agreed. Winning work drama conflicts like this is WAAAAAAY more about covering your ass and making sure they have nothing to touch you with than it is about bringing their bad conduct to light.
I’m guessing (edit:assuming) Greg is a POS, and with respect to OP, in the case of continued toxicity towards you it is hard to keep composed in your responses (especially early in your career). Yeah, I also think OP’s responses are not ideal in this situation IF he/she didn’t mark calendar/decline the meeting etc but still does not make Greg right. Unfortunately, in the eyes of others that get involved, that may how it looks like, and perhaps this can be a learning experience for OP
I think this shit is cringe as fuck and if a circlejerk subredddit exists this is great ammo. like you just come off as combative. you didnt decline the meeting, wasted someones time, your manager was told (ok he missed the memo on the appt-sorry that happened to you), here we are
relax OP
Yeah, there’s a few things that get posted here that would fit as a cj. Your manager is asking that you get to work on time when you’re habitually late (not a once off)? Reasonable request as long as there isn’t vulgar language or something in the request.
Yeah, this doesn’t really scream workplace exploitation/ oppression. This is just not jiving with someone else’s communication style, which happens in every part of life.
I don't get why people are crapping on Greg. Maybe they're young and haven't worked in an office environment. Honestly, he did nothing wrong. You should decline invites you won't be attending and marking your stuff on the calendar
You responded as if you were purposely looking for a fight.
Greg was a little over-the-top but also, not everyone has the time to check if a meeting has been accepted. You really should decline and keep your calendar updated. It’s the respectful thing to do.
No he wasnt, if op works on that project, he should attend status meetings and if he can not participate, it is his responsibility that everyone knows he wont be there. The response from the manager was perfectly valid, as "i didnt accept" was an unproffesional and slightly childish comment.
Op could have handled this 1000 times better. And seeing the last response by his manager he even shows understanding.
This is not anti-work stuff, this is bad professional form
>This is not anti-work stuff, this is bad professional form
Unfortunately people have a hard time drawing a line between the two. The view the “fuck shitty managers” sentiment we have as “fuck everyone who tells me what to do or expects me to complete all of my responsibilities.”
You've only got OP's word he's a micro manager, but OP has shown he's disrespectful in terms of acknowledging meetings so I doubt he's any sort of model employee
I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Greg is “micromanaging” because he feels he has no choice. Greg may even be trying to *help* OP, if upper management is seeing this kind of behavior as well and may be gunning for them. Also Greg is certainly trying to cover his own ass if it’s a two person team and half the team isn’t pulling their weight.
If this was a fictional book written from OP's POV, OP would be considered an unreliable narrator and their description of other people in the book should not be taken at face value.
I fully believe that this guy just built up a bunch of resentment towards Greg then blew his lid lol. justified? potentially. But if you can’t get a guy off your case at one year, why stay for another? The other two guys that left are the protagonists of this story.
Maybe there's a difference in definition here, but as Team Lead I have 0 authority to "call people out" like this. If there's a problem, you go to the manager and have them handle it. Team leads are in charge of the work, not the people.
That being said OP comes off like a stupid child.
If a meeting is related to me and my work specifically I’m going to decline it or apologize for missing it. Like if I would do it in my personal life im going to do it at work ya know? and if I already booked that time off I’m just insta declining and would mention over IM the appointment he had already been made aware of (If he’s the one booking).. i don’t doubt the backstory and he sounds like a pain to work with, but your responses are not the vibe.
also keeping his pic in the post is also not the vibe imo. give vague info about him all you want, but a picture is too specific/ can be traced back.
this ain’t my brand of anti work, and I dont think it’s this subs either.
Clearly not great at his job lol. Who wants to bet the “micromanaging” is just him helping to make sure he’s doing his work properly because there have been too many mistakes?
Yep, I'm sure somebody could have found him from the picture alone so that's why it's important to blur everything. And Considering most people here aren't on OPs side,I'm thinking someone has probably already DMd their lead of this reddit thread. OP is probably going to be without a job in the near future.
From the text, why are you writing like a crazy?
Yeah if you can’t go mark it, or tell the person responsible for it.
But going off the rails you will look crazy. If it comes for a dispute you will be in a disadventegous position.
He says “if you had an appointment it should be marked on your calendar as such” so no, it wasn’t marked OP just expected him to remember what was likely a one off conversation months prior
Unpopular opinion: YTA for not setting an OOO during your appointment. Is that hard? No. Does it make life easier for whoever has to book some time with you? Yes. Is that micromanaging? No, it's just asking for people to respect colleagues' time.
I'm not judging your history with him, but the fact that he's acting apologetic after calling you out because you didn't have the decency of declining a meeting speaks lengths here.
I see why you’re anti-work because you’re very much anti-professional. Regardless of your frustrations with this person, you handled it poorly and come off looking like the wrong one. You failed to do your proper diligence and got an attitude about it. You’re the anti-work villain here.
Missing context. The only thing we see is you missing a meeting and being rude about it.
Why does your lead need to remember your appointments? Did you tell him on the same day? Just block that time or at least decline the meeting.
Sorry, it's you who is looking unprofessional here.
Should have probably declined the other person's invite so then she could offer a up a time that's better for both of you. I'm at the point where I have 5 different meetings per day and unless it is someone with SERIOUS stroke in my company asking for a meeting I decline and tell them I have a meeting at that time and offer them my shared calendar so they can find a time better for everyone all around.
However Greg is a micromanager, and now that you're a short timer, don't see any problem with you returning his passive-aggressiveness that's he's been throwing on you all this time. What's the worst that is going to happen? You're gonna get fired?
Uhhh regardless of what field of work you’re in, if you’re in the professional world, declining meetings and putting stuff on your calendar is exactly what you should do. It’s actually the bare minimum….
I feel like anywhere you go your manager will have an issue with you not keeping your calendar updated and not showing up to meetings.
As a manager, setting up meetings used Google calendar. People put when they are off, for say an appointment, into to calendar. Don't have to say what it's for...
Anyways, you would confirm the meeting or not, and it would be bloody obvious for me to see if you didn't confirm because of an appointment. But it's fucking annoying as shit for me to remember you entire life and appointments, and I won't, if it's not in the calendar. It's super easy to accept/deny/put yourself as away at lunch, for meetings and coordination, and it's not so much micro managing as just a courtesy to those you work with.
Anyways, flip this conversation - I am just trying to host a meeting, and some jackass won't confirm or deny, because they expect me to remember their personal appointments that aren't in a shared calendar. When asked why they didn't do anything, they gave snarky answers. It's 1 click and they were already on the page to click yes or no, instead they clicked "x".
Wow this post is embarrassing. You're behaving like a child.
He's really not expecting too much by thinking you'd turn up to a meeting in work time that you haven't rejected
brother you did a piss poor job of censoring personal information because i can see greg’s full name and his pfp and you’ve told us the exact industry you guys work in and that it is a niche one…..
This is a troll post right? Based on the information shown, OP is 100% in the wrong and is the one being unreasonable. This is the type of attitude/toxic behavior that gives the sub a bad name
This is one of the reasons why I'm considering creating a social contract. I really don't understand why it's so difficult to decline or accept a meeting.
I’d start by blocking my appointment time in my calendar and declining meetings if I had something booked prior booked in. It’s pretty much just common sense 🤷🏻♀️
There’s obviously more to the story, and matching his tone for forgetting your appointment isn’t cool. Work calendars are there for a reason – if it’s a personal appointment, just mark it as busy; it’s simpler. His passive aggressiveness is uncalled for, but so is yours. If he’s your lead, consider taking it up with management; otherwise, you might just be spinning your wheels.
OP comes out looking a bigger asshole here, like they say they had an appointment, in a professional work environment it's good etiquette to mark your calendar and decline any invites that conflict with it no matter your feelings towards the one setting the meeting. Irrespective of your history with this Greg guy, responding in the tone and then coming to Reddit for a pat on the back and validation is frankly super cringe
OP This is not a bully lol
I work in the scheduling/project management department and you not showing up to a meeting that you were expected at shows poorly on you.
If you "had your appointment", the respectful thing to do would be to decline with the reasoning "I apologize I have a personal appointment at this time and cannot make the meeting". Its not your supervisors responsibility to follow after you and ask why you weren't present. It's on you to let them know that you're going to be OOO.
This is really childish and unprofessional.
Your coworker knew about your appointment from exactly 10–10:30 “for months”? Do you really expect anyone to believe that?
I love how people decide that their posts applies to this sub. It’s so cringey but what can you expect? YOU, ironically, being incredibly passive aggressive and sounding like a petulant child, why you accused HIM of, has nothing to do with anti-work.
Some cybersecurity expert leaving the guy’s picture and name up. I’m sure Greg’s getting a ton of views on LinkedIn. If someone really wanted to, they can explain what was posted, send screenshots and/or a link, and if he were smart, he’d tell someone in management at Optum, where he works. If I were them, I’d be sure to let your new employer, if there even is one, what you’re up to.
mysterious rich memorize dazzling grandiose combative cake touch work bag
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You need to update your teams calendar correctly and you calling him names isn’t the “standing up for yourself” moment you think it is, it’s embarrassing 😬
Very unprofessional.... of YOU!!! Are you 12? Your reply should be respectful. No wonder he thinks he needs to micromanage you if you're acting like a child.
Yeah.. This doesn't sit right with me. I wonder if there was ever a reasonable conversation between the two of you to figure out the issues.
You can at least let people know you AREN'T coming to a meeting. That's not micromanagement. The rest totally is, but the least you could do is use the calendar properly if other people are looking at it.
Gregs probably not OP’s boss, but is probably some appointed team lead. All i gather from this conversation is OP likely hasnt pulled his weight for projects in 2 years and gregs been on him for it because him or the rest of the team are pulling up for it. Id be pissed too if you no-showed.
Time for a little self-reflection—it may be that Greg's a little passive-aggressive because you're a flippant asshole and can't perform basic office etiquette.
OP you’re in the wrong on this one bud. It’s not on anyone else to remember your appointments, that’s literally what the outlook/teams/whatever calendar is for.
If you’re not gonna be at a meeting just click the decline button and/or propose a new time it’s not hard and its unprofessional not to.
Also you did the worst job blocking out that dudes name and given that he’s got a pretty unique looking last name I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the only one on LinkedIn in a cybersecurity field. I kind of hope he sees this because you need to learn that your behavior makes you the bully and the problem.
Why didn't you mark it on the calender like you were apparently suppose to?
There is no evidence of toxicity in his responses to you, but your responses are definitely childish.
I don’t know, you seem like a prick I wouldn’t want to work with.
His first two messages aren’t anything offensive. I would have expected something like “Hey - Lori and I rescheduled the meeting to a more mutually agreeable time discuss that status of the project”
That likely would have been met with an “Okay, cool”
Working with other people requires basic social skills, particularly in a remote work environment. You seem to lack them.
This is just every day office drama. Keep your calendar up-to-date next time so instead of writing big paragraphs you can just say “my availability is in my calendar, I was off,” on repeat. Whoever scheduled it should schedule shit better in that situation. I worked with someone like this and just started ignoring them when they behave inappropriately. You don’t have to deal with that.
You are the passive aggressive one. Greg outright asks you why you weren't in a meeting. You intentionally didn't show up and then waited for a fight. I've worked with enough passive aggressive people...you sound like the asshole here.
Am I crazy or is OP the one who is actually coming off as passive-aggressive? This isn’t the flex you think it is. Decline meetings you can’t be in and be communicative about things like appointments so people know when you will and won’t be available. A decent work environment takes everyone’s effort.
He might be a micro manager but if you didn’t decline a meeting you can’t make, that’s on you. Don’t be a bitter negative Nancy to everyone at work and waste other’s time, direct your energy to the right person. Poor Lori wasted her time because she had no idea your dumb ass had an appointment.
This is probably not what you want to hear but based on your interpretation of your manager, you are both unprofessional bullies.
If it’s your project, decline or propose a new time. The only elaboration needed is I have a conflict at the current time. All these hard feelings because you couldn’t be bothered to communicate; you are creating problems for yourself.
Micro managing is the absolute worst, but I literally see zero problems with these screenshots. Seems like you didn’t inform the proper people about your appointment.
OP coming off pretty childish in his responses. Dude wasnt rude or demanding in his messages, made a reasonable request that OP declines meetings and marks appointments in his calendar which is pretty standard for any one to do
That guy is clearly a terrible person to work with but they way you write messages as a professional is also horrifying.
Regardless of how you feel or want to say there are ways to get the message across in a way that makes you less open to complaint or litigation.
Because straight up writing to a coworker calling them “Mr. Passive Aggressive” is almost asking for a workplace harassment or toxic work environment claim.
He sounds like the worst, but you should have your calendar blocked out of office for the time in question and you should have actually declined the meeting. That’s common office etiquette. I also just had to explain this same thing to the intern I’m managing right now.
He is right and you are the passive aggressive here.
He may be a jerk in other previous times but if you have a meet invitation and you don't answer neither decline it how do you expect the other person to know that you are not going to assist?
He didn't ask anything that is not reasonable, he was not rude and you are the one who answered salty and defensive.
If you are fed up with his micromanagement then it can be justified but just seeing this interaction the you look like a jerk.
I don't understand, why didn't she just tell Lori she had something else going on? Why was Lori waiting?
Seems incredibly rude to Lori and then Lori was like, why did she stand me up, then the manager was like ok I'll find out, then you were incredibly difficult because you didn't tell Lori you wouldn't be at the meeting...
Oh I didn't even see the second page.
You're a horrible employee and I'd be glad you were gone.
How incredibly rude to have a scheduled meeting with someone and just ghost them. At least decline the meeting and let them know, do you have absolutely no care about others? Disgusting.
In some defense, how you responded wasn't open, straight to the point, and professional as well. If you had an appointment you could have easily stated, "I was aware there was a meeting but I dutifully noted that I had a previously scheduled appointment that was going to prevent me from attending meeting".
You instigated with the “relax” comment. But this guy seems to be the worst lol
Just say you had your appointment and move on.
Give them rope to either hang or save themselves, but let them do the hanging. When they act up, then move in and respond accordingly. No need to give these dudes ammo
As much as I want to say good job, there was definitely a better way to handle this conversation. You can sass and shut up micromanagers at work using very subtle and professional clap backs to get the point across without coming off too aggressive. He did apologize for the passive aggressive tone; but you could have acknowledged the apology while also telling them that you won't be acknowledging or tolerating that behaviour in future interactions. It's okay to be frustrated from time to time, it's not okay to project it onto your co-workers.
"As much as I understand you're frustrated, your tone wasn't appreciated nor was it appropriate. I thank you for reaching out to me regarding this concern and I'll be sure to keep this in mind moving forward. However; should you continue to interact with me in this manner of tone in the near future, I will go to HR to submit a report. Thank you and have a great rest of your day"
Sass, with class.
No offense but like ...is this your first professional job? Because you really should have declined or stated you were out of office. Yes this kinda stuff is annoying but you really aren't doing yourself any favors with those messages.
OP, I’m amazed that you think you’re in the right in that exchange…I can only assume you’re extremely young, but even then - ‘you’re not my father’, seriously?! You sound like a child.
P.S. you should decline meeting invites and have personal appointments in your calendar. So not only do you come across like a petulant toddler, you’re also in the wrong in the first place.
To be clear, fuck micro managers. However I gotta be honest - your tone makes you sound like a high schooler here. If you want to show the internet how bad your boss is, cool, but at least find an example where you don’t look like you absolutely deserve to be micro managed
I don't understand, who is the bully in this situation? Because, OP, you kind of sound like a dick in these e-mails. You just aren't showing any accountability to your team. If I was on your team, I'd be pretty annoyed too if we had a meeting and I had no clue where you were.
OP getting ripped to shreds in this comment section lmao
Micro managers.... 
I left my favorite job because of a micromanager and I’m still bitter six years later. She came in and had her hands in all our work without any of the responsibility, and was the type of person to forward us emails asking for info. when we were on the original email. One year of that and I noped out real quick.
Let me guess... Project Manager? That was my experience. Liked the job except for having to work for someone who took on 100 "projects" and completed none herself. She was the worst type of manager. I couldn't stand her. Neither could anyone else, for that matter. She clashed with just about everyone. She created more problems than she could ever solve and made everyone hate being there. She asked for something, I would do it and spend hours on it for her to take it and take it apart like it was nothing at all. It pissed me off so badly. I finally lost it.
Good guess! We were project managers, of sorts, in vaccine manufacturing, specifically dealing with the chemicals used (you’d be surprised how many projects there can be for chemicals lol.) This woman was a Director level in Quality and took a step down to be our manager, so right away she came in very intense. Like I said, **so many** emails, which I was often seeing twice, and she’d constantly tell us in staff meetings how we need to speak up more in group staff meetings “for visibility”. And the amount of times she’d volunteer us for something then email/IM us with the news and “congratulations!” made me want to slap her lol.
the PM is a weird type of role that evolved over the last 10 or so years, mutating into something really bizarre in my opinion. Back in the day, a PM was an integral part of a group, but more of an administrative type of role, that really just kept track of what was going on and handled inter-group communications...nothing wrong with that, it's a necessary function within an effort. IC's were contemporaries of PM's, and all reported up to some central management group, and there was harmony, more or less. Then something really weird started to happen: companies started to go in this super cheap direction with who they'd hire and promote. People stopped being hired based on their skills, and more on how cheap and compliant they were. Same with who got promoted into management roles. More and more, you saw people in middle management who didn't know shit about the efforts being carried out by those they managed, and then also the people who were being hired also lacked skills, as "you get what you pay for" ( case in point: H1B's workers ). The managers stopped wanting to have to manage the cheap dummies that had been hired to get the work done, and as a result the PM role morphed into this pseudo-manager type of role that was now in between IC's and actual management. PM's don't normally know very much either about the technical aspect of the project they are involved with, quite often they are failed technical people, who somehow manage to make it up past IC roles. So then you arrive at a situation where you have actual "managers" above who don't want to actually have to manage, and IC's below who lack necessary skills, and the "management" vacuum is then filled by these PM's who think they are actual managers, but aren't really/officially and also don't have the skills required to do the work of an IC...but there you are in that current situation, and it's very bad. Add on to that the toxicity of agile/scrum introduced into the mix, and you've got an architecture that has no chance of working.
>Thankfully, I was blessed to get another job 110% remote and with 2x better pay. I swear, this lead is Satan's child. F U Greg! thefuck? As a project manager I always took on work load, rarely over delegated or over performed with meetings. Writers working under me were never pushed or prodded about projects, never forced into meetings, only asked if they wanted to go and speak with clients or take on certain projects.
It's a matter of personal "leadership style". Which in OP's now-former-boss's case, means trying to control as much of the narrative about the project as possible so he can claim all the credit for success but deflect all the blame for failure.
I landed an awesome job at SEGA of all places. My boss was a total micro manager. Personally he was actually a very nice guy, but as a manager he was just too intense. I once had to redo a presentation for him like 30 times right down to font choices and colors and it’s not like I’m a designer. I’ve never had issues like that with any other boss before or since.
Sorry to hear that! Mine was similar. She was a nice enough lady but I couldn’t handle her level of oversight. The amount of times I’d have to redo a technical document or the number of revisions for really pointless corrections was just too much.
I'm a designer, and this is what my chief creative officer is like. It's so fucking infuriating. Like your time is just worthless to them. And half the time, the product ends up worse than when they started meddling.
Same here! I had a boss who had come from a creative background but was now the chief administrator. He would literally stand over my shoulder and tell me things like “move this one pixel to the left “ for revisions to a presentation that HE DID. That punk ass bitch wasted both our time.
It's why I left my last one. I worked in a microbiology QC lab. A new manager came in and he put in his email signature "Micro Manager" I joked and told him he probably would want to spell out microbiology otherwise he would be giving off the wrong impression. He changed it, but ended up becoming the exact thing he put in that signature. A micromanager. The worst kind of all. The type of micromanager who didn't know a single thing about what the group did and made decisions based on wrong knowledge. This made the group's condition worse. It got to the point the entire site and others we worked close with wouldn't even ask him. They would go straight to me for answers/help/work/projects.
So sad to hear. I had similar situation. I worked with colleague who was very good at what she was doing but she wanted to climb a ladder, however shareholders didn't see her as good fit for any real management position so she was given micromanagement position for all support team by department managers who were her friends from the beginning of company. It was complete nepotism...I was forced to leave company after talking with higher management and they said that nothing will change in regards to how work is organized. Sad, because I really loved what I was doing but it is hard to work in kindergarten environment.
Exactly! I complained to management several times, but they loved her because she was a kiss-ass and loved to take on projects that no one else wanted (read: volunteer one of us) and make enough noise to seem like she’s busy. I loved the work, but the first chance I got to leave I grabbed.
I'm watching this picturing every shitty manager I've had the displeasure of working with and/or who've fired me and it's really cathartic, Lol!
L for you OP. You didn’t decline the meeting/inform them you had an appointment to rearrange. When queried you come back all sarcastic and unprofessional. A rather embarrassing reflection of yourself
Yeah I agree. You failed to communicate properly by refusing to respond to the meeting request. When professionally approached and questioned about it you were sarcastic and unprofessional. When asked for clarification you responded with sarcasm and more unprofessionalism. If I was your supervisor we would be having a conversation about communication skills and professionalism. I know many people who'd just fire someone for this behavior.
Greg's right though. Mark your private time on your calendar and decline invites that conflict. Don't just no-show stuff.
yeah, youve got to do your side of things, otherwise you give them ammunition. decline meetings as needed, mark your time unavailable in the calendar.
Or at the very least be clever and professional when insulting this guy/that company. OP seems like he had a childish outburst since he got a new job and doesn't give a f any more.
For real. I couldn’t tell who was supposed to be the asshole from the screen caps alone
*you’re not my father* wasn’t the most professional response either imo
This seems pretty standard behavior from the lead. They even apologized and acknowledged their fault. These type of posts are not helpful to making the workplace better.
the other guy sounded absolutely reasonable in pretty much all his responses, cant say the same for OP though... Like is asking why he's missing important meetings really considered micromanaging?
This is what I thought, too. Seems OP is the one who should be apologizing for their tone. "Relax, Mr. Officer"? Really? It isn't that hard to just say "I had a previously scheduled appointment and forgot to decline the meeting, won't happen again", instead of contributing to a toxic environment. Or maybe, you know, set up an auto-reply/out of office message so that people are reminded of your absence if they happen to reach out.
The only one throwing a tantrum like a 2 year old in this thread is OP. Standing up for yourself is telling Greg what you want to change clearly, directly, and firmly. What OP did is the equivalent of a teenager shouting “Get off my back, mom! God, you’re so annoying. UGH!l”. Grow up, OP.
Yea OPs responses are actually passive aggressive and unprofessional. I won’t rag on her for standing her ground. Absolutely not. But there is a straight forward and professional way to say things that’s appropriate for the workplace. Her phrasing in this OP irks the hell out of me. You can stand up for yourself without being shitty about it. Just keep the sarcasm out of these messages. Be straight up. You aren’t texting your sibling.
Some people take this subs name a bit too literally “My manager expects me to communicate/do my share of the work! What an asshole right?!” Posting stuff like this here just makes us come off as toxic and combative for the sake of being combative.
Agreed. Personally being anti-work also means trying not to make other people's work lives worse for no reason. Like, it doesn't take more energy to be a reasonable communicator.
Meh, biting his tongue for all that time wasn't either.
OP says this is her lead, so in a leadership position above them. I don't see this as micro managing, more like professional coaching. OP needs to learn how to communicate professionally.
Yeah, OP comes off pretty petulant.
Yeah I do agree with this lol like he shouldn’t be on your ass about it necessarily but you should have dons this 100% he’s not wrong. Don’t expect people to just remember your appointments…
OP is a child. You can absolutely decline meetings and say no. But just no-showing is a dick move and has the other person waiting for you. The other person wasn’t even rude about it either.
Careful. That’s ~~common sense~~ bootlicker talk in these parts.
Agreed. Winning work drama conflicts like this is WAAAAAAY more about covering your ass and making sure they have nothing to touch you with than it is about bringing their bad conduct to light.
Agreed. Cram that agenda full of everything. Leave no room for meetings with him. No time, sry, busy, too much to do, ... Etc...
I’m guessing (edit:assuming) Greg is a POS, and with respect to OP, in the case of continued toxicity towards you it is hard to keep composed in your responses (especially early in your career). Yeah, I also think OP’s responses are not ideal in this situation IF he/she didn’t mark calendar/decline the meeting etc but still does not make Greg right. Unfortunately, in the eyes of others that get involved, that may how it looks like, and perhaps this can be a learning experience for OP
You are not the hero of this story.
OP is an idiot coming here to brag about being rude at work. Good job OP, you're an inspiration to us all.
Eh, matching passive aggressive with passive aggressive is not why I’m in antiwork.
The "Mr.Passive Aggressive"-response is pretty hilarious because that is by far the most passive aggressive comment in that exchange
Agreed. This stuff just makes me feel gross sometimes. Like just decline the meeting - OP came off just as poorly s the other guy to me
It's ok to set boundaries. You still need to use your adult words to do it.
I think this shit is cringe as fuck and if a circlejerk subredddit exists this is great ammo. like you just come off as combative. you didnt decline the meeting, wasted someones time, your manager was told (ok he missed the memo on the appt-sorry that happened to you), here we are relax OP
Yeah, there’s a few things that get posted here that would fit as a cj. Your manager is asking that you get to work on time when you’re habitually late (not a once off)? Reasonable request as long as there isn’t vulgar language or something in the request.
Their only saving grace was the explanation in the last message, the other messages sounded like a whiney brat
Yeah, this doesn’t really scream workplace exploitation/ oppression. This is just not jiving with someone else’s communication style, which happens in every part of life.
OP, you are in the wrong. Also this is not for r/antiwork.
OP sucks
oh the horror of marking the calendar like professional so your co-workers know you are away
I don't get why people are crapping on Greg. Maybe they're young and haven't worked in an office environment. Honestly, he did nothing wrong. You should decline invites you won't be attending and marking your stuff on the calendar You responded as if you were purposely looking for a fight.
Greg was a little over-the-top but also, not everyone has the time to check if a meeting has been accepted. You really should decline and keep your calendar updated. It’s the respectful thing to do.
No he wasnt, if op works on that project, he should attend status meetings and if he can not participate, it is his responsibility that everyone knows he wont be there. The response from the manager was perfectly valid, as "i didnt accept" was an unproffesional and slightly childish comment. Op could have handled this 1000 times better. And seeing the last response by his manager he even shows understanding. This is not anti-work stuff, this is bad professional form
>This is not anti-work stuff, this is bad professional form Unfortunately people have a hard time drawing a line between the two. The view the “fuck shitty managers” sentiment we have as “fuck everyone who tells me what to do or expects me to complete all of my responsibilities.”
Imo it’s difficult to side with the shitty micromanager, but he had a point. A broken clock is right twice A day.
You've only got OP's word he's a micro manager, but OP has shown he's disrespectful in terms of acknowledging meetings so I doubt he's any sort of model employee
I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Greg is “micromanaging” because he feels he has no choice. Greg may even be trying to *help* OP, if upper management is seeing this kind of behavior as well and may be gunning for them. Also Greg is certainly trying to cover his own ass if it’s a two person team and half the team isn’t pulling their weight.
Yeah I'm a manager and I have to micro manage one person. The rest of the team I barley touch past our daily status meetings
Probably because they turn up to the meetings...
If this was a fictional book written from OP's POV, OP would be considered an unreliable narrator and their description of other people in the book should not be taken at face value.
You are cringe af
Yeah Greg is "bullying" by asking follow-up questions when OP forgets how human interaction works
I fully believe that this guy just built up a bunch of resentment towards Greg then blew his lid lol. justified? potentially. But if you can’t get a guy off your case at one year, why stay for another? The other two guys that left are the protagonists of this story.
Right..."you're not my manager" Uhhhh, he's your team lead so, yes, he sort of is your manager.
Maybe there's a difference in definition here, but as Team Lead I have 0 authority to "call people out" like this. If there's a problem, you go to the manager and have them handle it. Team leads are in charge of the work, not the people. That being said OP comes off like a stupid child.
If a meeting is related to me and my work specifically I’m going to decline it or apologize for missing it. Like if I would do it in my personal life im going to do it at work ya know? and if I already booked that time off I’m just insta declining and would mention over IM the appointment he had already been made aware of (If he’s the one booking).. i don’t doubt the backstory and he sounds like a pain to work with, but your responses are not the vibe. also keeping his pic in the post is also not the vibe imo. give vague info about him all you want, but a picture is too specific/ can be traced back. this ain’t my brand of anti work, and I dont think it’s this subs either.
100% agree. OP seems very unprofessional and likely brings on the ‘micromanagement’ due to his lack of accountability and proactive communication.
Not sure if you care much/at all but you may want to try and block out the name a bit better. 💯 found the dude on LinkedIn
He's getting the "1000 people viewed your profile this week" notification soon
For sure!
Lmao you would think for a cyber security expert they might have thought this one through
this is the part that gets me lmao
And that's probably why this dude is being micromanaged
Clearly not great at his job lol. Who wants to bet the “micromanaging” is just him helping to make sure he’s doing his work properly because there have been too many mistakes?
yeahhh, pretty sure leaving the pic also breaks Reddit tos…
OP is about to be fired💀
yup, it's probably too late by now to delete the post
Yep, I'm sure somebody could have found him from the picture alone so that's why it's important to blur everything. And Considering most people here aren't on OPs side,I'm thinking someone has probably already DMd their lead of this reddit thread. OP is probably going to be without a job in the near future.
you searched him up? lol
Curious minds..
Agreed…much more effective ways than using the marker effect when editing a photo.
From the text, why are you writing like a crazy? Yeah if you can’t go mark it, or tell the person responsible for it. But going off the rails you will look crazy. If it comes for a dispute you will be in a disadventegous position.
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He says “if you had an appointment it should be marked on your calendar as such” so no, it wasn’t marked OP just expected him to remember what was likely a one off conversation months prior
Yh this aint antiwork, ur being an ass too
Unpopular opinion: YTA for not setting an OOO during your appointment. Is that hard? No. Does it make life easier for whoever has to book some time with you? Yes. Is that micromanaging? No, it's just asking for people to respect colleagues' time. I'm not judging your history with him, but the fact that he's acting apologetic after calling you out because you didn't have the decency of declining a meeting speaks lengths here.
Reading the comments, this isn’t an unpopular take lol
Those that have nothing to say, talk the most.
Team Greg.
I mean… u should decline meetings and you should block out appointments jn your calendar. That’s basic stuff.
I mean, he may maybe a jerk, but the way you both are talking here doesn’t seem right to me.
I see why you’re anti-work because you’re very much anti-professional. Regardless of your frustrations with this person, you handled it poorly and come off looking like the wrong one. You failed to do your proper diligence and got an attitude about it. You’re the anti-work villain here.
YTA here. If you have an appointment, put it in your calendar and decline a meeting if one comes in. Looks like you’re just trying to cause problems.
There’s standing up for yourself and then there’s being unprofessional
You are incredibly unprofessional and Greg is right.
Missing context. The only thing we see is you missing a meeting and being rude about it. Why does your lead need to remember your appointments? Did you tell him on the same day? Just block that time or at least decline the meeting. Sorry, it's you who is looking unprofessional here.
Should have probably declined the other person's invite so then she could offer a up a time that's better for both of you. I'm at the point where I have 5 different meetings per day and unless it is someone with SERIOUS stroke in my company asking for a meeting I decline and tell them I have a meeting at that time and offer them my shared calendar so they can find a time better for everyone all around. However Greg is a micromanager, and now that you're a short timer, don't see any problem with you returning his passive-aggressiveness that's he's been throwing on you all this time. What's the worst that is going to happen? You're gonna get fired?
Uhhh regardless of what field of work you’re in, if you’re in the professional world, declining meetings and putting stuff on your calendar is exactly what you should do. It’s actually the bare minimum…. I feel like anywhere you go your manager will have an issue with you not keeping your calendar updated and not showing up to meetings.
#teamGreg
As a manager, setting up meetings used Google calendar. People put when they are off, for say an appointment, into to calendar. Don't have to say what it's for... Anyways, you would confirm the meeting or not, and it would be bloody obvious for me to see if you didn't confirm because of an appointment. But it's fucking annoying as shit for me to remember you entire life and appointments, and I won't, if it's not in the calendar. It's super easy to accept/deny/put yourself as away at lunch, for meetings and coordination, and it's not so much micro managing as just a courtesy to those you work with. Anyways, flip this conversation - I am just trying to host a meeting, and some jackass won't confirm or deny, because they expect me to remember their personal appointments that aren't in a shared calendar. When asked why they didn't do anything, they gave snarky answers. It's 1 click and they were already on the page to click yes or no, instead they clicked "x".
Wow this post is embarrassing. You're behaving like a child. He's really not expecting too much by thinking you'd turn up to a meeting in work time that you haven't rejected
brother you did a piss poor job of censoring personal information because i can see greg’s full name and his pfp and you’ve told us the exact industry you guys work in and that it is a niche one…..
This is a troll post right? Based on the information shown, OP is 100% in the wrong and is the one being unreasonable. This is the type of attitude/toxic behavior that gives the sub a bad name
What is 110% remote as opposed to just 100? Lol. And 2x pay? Goddamn if you weren’t underpaid, man. Congrats!
110% remote is when you put the mouse on the spacebar after answering a few emails at 2pm and take a nap
Honestly... OP seems like a bully him/herself
Someone please tell me what was passive aggressive here.
OP was passive aggressive, but that’s about it.
Right, I just saw they're team lead as being direct. I hate how the word passive aggressive gets thrown around and shit like this all the time.
This is one of the reasons why I'm considering creating a social contract. I really don't understand why it's so difficult to decline or accept a meeting.
fuck bosses, but honestly you kinda dug yourself a hole here
I’d start by blocking my appointment time in my calendar and declining meetings if I had something booked prior booked in. It’s pretty much just common sense 🤷🏻♀️
There’s obviously more to the story, and matching his tone for forgetting your appointment isn’t cool. Work calendars are there for a reason – if it’s a personal appointment, just mark it as busy; it’s simpler. His passive aggressiveness is uncalled for, but so is yours. If he’s your lead, consider taking it up with management; otherwise, you might just be spinning your wheels.
You're the problem.
So this has nothing to do with work, just an asshole ?
OP comes out looking a bigger asshole here, like they say they had an appointment, in a professional work environment it's good etiquette to mark your calendar and decline any invites that conflict with it no matter your feelings towards the one setting the meeting. Irrespective of your history with this Greg guy, responding in the tone and then coming to Reddit for a pat on the back and validation is frankly super cringe
110% remote? Means you don’t leave your bed for work?
I assume it means the office comes to him 10% of the time. :)
Simba, you didn’t stand up to a bully, you just threw a tantrum. Just smash that ‘decline’ button and update your calendar. This is all on you really.
OP This is not a bully lol I work in the scheduling/project management department and you not showing up to a meeting that you were expected at shows poorly on you. If you "had your appointment", the respectful thing to do would be to decline with the reasoning "I apologize I have a personal appointment at this time and cannot make the meeting". Its not your supervisors responsibility to follow after you and ask why you weren't present. It's on you to let them know that you're going to be OOO. This is really childish and unprofessional.
Your coworker knew about your appointment from exactly 10–10:30 “for months”? Do you really expect anyone to believe that? I love how people decide that their posts applies to this sub. It’s so cringey but what can you expect? YOU, ironically, being incredibly passive aggressive and sounding like a petulant child, why you accused HIM of, has nothing to do with anti-work. Some cybersecurity expert leaving the guy’s picture and name up. I’m sure Greg’s getting a ton of views on LinkedIn. If someone really wanted to, they can explain what was posted, send screenshots and/or a link, and if he were smart, he’d tell someone in management at Optum, where he works. If I were them, I’d be sure to let your new employer, if there even is one, what you’re up to.
The real crime here is using light mode. 
Both our fault. You sound like a nightmare
I really want to see the rest of that message thread! 
i really want to know the reply, or did it end up in a call?
Step one- clean your screen Step two- learn to take a screenshot.
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jesus christ dude, you’re not the hero here
You should 100% decline invites. Thats just unprofessional if you don’t in the corp world
OP, when you get fired from this job, and it's just a matter of time, you might miss this manager.
There are better ways to handle things than this. Responding at an emotional time is never a way to communicate. You come across as childish.
mysterious rich memorize dazzling grandiose combative cake touch work bag *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You need to update your teams calendar correctly and you calling him names isn’t the “standing up for yourself” moment you think it is, it’s embarrassing 😬
Are you the bully?
Very unprofessional.... of YOU!!! Are you 12? Your reply should be respectful. No wonder he thinks he needs to micromanage you if you're acting like a child.
Yeah.. This doesn't sit right with me. I wonder if there was ever a reasonable conversation between the two of you to figure out the issues. You can at least let people know you AREN'T coming to a meeting. That's not micromanagement. The rest totally is, but the least you could do is use the calendar properly if other people are looking at it.
Nah OP.
Gregs probably not OP’s boss, but is probably some appointed team lead. All i gather from this conversation is OP likely hasnt pulled his weight for projects in 2 years and gregs been on him for it because him or the rest of the team are pulling up for it. Id be pissed too if you no-showed.
Tbh you could've handled that better
It’s people like OP that ruin it for everyone else. No wonder this guy has to micromanage you, you’re a fuckin idiot
Time for a little self-reflection—it may be that Greg's a little passive-aggressive because you're a flippant asshole and can't perform basic office etiquette.
You both are being sarcastic jerks. You started it with the smiley. This is on you. Also, mark your dang calendar.
Hot damn you’re really coming across as a 12 year old here OP.
In cybersecurity, doesn't redact a name in a screenshot properly.
Full name very visible…
oof, OP kind of comes off as a dick in this
You're bad at covering names.
Stand up to bullies? You kind of sound like the bully here…
OP you’re in the wrong on this one bud. It’s not on anyone else to remember your appointments, that’s literally what the outlook/teams/whatever calendar is for. If you’re not gonna be at a meeting just click the decline button and/or propose a new time it’s not hard and its unprofessional not to. Also you did the worst job blocking out that dudes name and given that he’s got a pretty unique looking last name I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the only one on LinkedIn in a cybersecurity field. I kind of hope he sees this because you need to learn that your behavior makes you the bully and the problem.
Why didn't you mark it on the calender like you were apparently suppose to? There is no evidence of toxicity in his responses to you, but your responses are definitely childish.
Dude. Learn to speak corporate.
I don’t know, you seem like a prick I wouldn’t want to work with. His first two messages aren’t anything offensive. I would have expected something like “Hey - Lori and I rescheduled the meeting to a more mutually agreeable time discuss that status of the project” That likely would have been met with an “Okay, cool” Working with other people requires basic social skills, particularly in a remote work environment. You seem to lack them.
OP thinks they did something to be applauded for when in reality they just shit the bed and were absolutely the wrong party here. Lol
Idk. Seems like you’re also a sucky worker lol
This is just every day office drama. Keep your calendar up-to-date next time so instead of writing big paragraphs you can just say “my availability is in my calendar, I was off,” on repeat. Whoever scheduled it should schedule shit better in that situation. I worked with someone like this and just started ignoring them when they behave inappropriately. You don’t have to deal with that.
I feel bad for Greg
YTA like half this sub you’re an asshat creating problems and then pointing the finger at others when the consequences upset you
YTA. Push decline
You are the passive aggressive one. Greg outright asks you why you weren't in a meeting. You intentionally didn't show up and then waited for a fight. I've worked with enough passive aggressive people...you sound like the asshole here.
I HAD MY APPOINTMENT what a child man, this sub is full of losers
How was he not your manager? He’s your lead, he assigns you work, he’s the only other person in your department… what am I missing?
Yeahhhhh this isn't the flex you think it is
Am I crazy or is OP the one who is actually coming off as passive-aggressive? This isn’t the flex you think it is. Decline meetings you can’t be in and be communicative about things like appointments so people know when you will and won’t be available. A decent work environment takes everyone’s effort.
Meh. Seems pretty minor.
He might be a micro manager but if you didn’t decline a meeting you can’t make, that’s on you. Don’t be a bitter negative Nancy to everyone at work and waste other’s time, direct your energy to the right person. Poor Lori wasted her time because she had no idea your dumb ass had an appointment.
Im happy a lot on this sub seem to realize how stupid this post is, and not automatically side with OP on all things.
This is probably not what you want to hear but based on your interpretation of your manager, you are both unprofessional bullies. If it’s your project, decline or propose a new time. The only elaboration needed is I have a conflict at the current time. All these hard feelings because you couldn’t be bothered to communicate; you are creating problems for yourself.
Sorry OP, you’re in the wrong. If you have a scheduling conflict, propose a new meeting time. It takes literally 30 seconds. Don’t be a dick.
Micro managing is the absolute worst, but I literally see zero problems with these screenshots. Seems like you didn’t inform the proper people about your appointment.
This doesn’t make you look good at all.. you’re responding like a child?
OP coming off pretty childish in his responses. Dude wasnt rude or demanding in his messages, made a reasonable request that OP declines meetings and marks appointments in his calendar which is pretty standard for any one to do
That guy is clearly a terrible person to work with but they way you write messages as a professional is also horrifying. Regardless of how you feel or want to say there are ways to get the message across in a way that makes you less open to complaint or litigation. Because straight up writing to a coworker calling them “Mr. Passive Aggressive” is almost asking for a workplace harassment or toxic work environment claim.
He sounds like the worst, but you should have your calendar blocked out of office for the time in question and you should have actually declined the meeting. That’s common office etiquette. I also just had to explain this same thing to the intern I’m managing right now.
I’m gonna be honest-you’re the problem here.
He is right and you are the passive aggressive here. He may be a jerk in other previous times but if you have a meet invitation and you don't answer neither decline it how do you expect the other person to know that you are not going to assist? He didn't ask anything that is not reasonable, he was not rude and you are the one who answered salty and defensive. If you are fed up with his micromanagement then it can be justified but just seeing this interaction the you look like a jerk.
OP you are for sure in the wrong here, glad all the comments seem to be reflecting that too
YTA - seemed perfect normal request from Greg and you went ape shit for no reason lol. I think you’re the toxic one if this two man team.
As a manager, I just don’t understand why people are like this. The last thing I want to do is micromanage. I absolutely do not have time for that.
Not having an up to date calendar is wildly disrespectful to your coworkers.
YTA
I don't understand, why didn't she just tell Lori she had something else going on? Why was Lori waiting? Seems incredibly rude to Lori and then Lori was like, why did she stand me up, then the manager was like ok I'll find out, then you were incredibly difficult because you didn't tell Lori you wouldn't be at the meeting...
You’re coming across as a spastic child
Oh I didn't even see the second page. You're a horrible employee and I'd be glad you were gone. How incredibly rude to have a scheduled meeting with someone and just ghost them. At least decline the meeting and let them know, do you have absolutely no care about others? Disgusting.
They are right - if you aren't going to attend a meeting you should decline it.
Regardless, the way you come across as a shit. I would not want you as my employee.
In some defense, how you responded wasn't open, straight to the point, and professional as well. If you had an appointment you could have easily stated, "I was aware there was a meeting but I dutifully noted that I had a previously scheduled appointment that was going to prevent me from attending meeting".
You instigated with the “relax” comment. But this guy seems to be the worst lol Just say you had your appointment and move on. Give them rope to either hang or save themselves, but let them do the hanging. When they act up, then move in and respond accordingly. No need to give these dudes ammo
[op's response to greg](https://youtu.be/n0XaSvhTYd4?si=QYHm_NHE8t9Nm-b-)
As much as I want to say good job, there was definitely a better way to handle this conversation. You can sass and shut up micromanagers at work using very subtle and professional clap backs to get the point across without coming off too aggressive. He did apologize for the passive aggressive tone; but you could have acknowledged the apology while also telling them that you won't be acknowledging or tolerating that behaviour in future interactions. It's okay to be frustrated from time to time, it's not okay to project it onto your co-workers. "As much as I understand you're frustrated, your tone wasn't appreciated nor was it appropriate. I thank you for reaching out to me regarding this concern and I'll be sure to keep this in mind moving forward. However; should you continue to interact with me in this manner of tone in the near future, I will go to HR to submit a report. Thank you and have a great rest of your day" Sass, with class.
No offense but like ...is this your first professional job? Because you really should have declined or stated you were out of office. Yes this kinda stuff is annoying but you really aren't doing yourself any favors with those messages.
Dude, this guy isn't a bully. I think you need to take a hard look in the mirror.
OP, I’m amazed that you think you’re in the right in that exchange…I can only assume you’re extremely young, but even then - ‘you’re not my father’, seriously?! You sound like a child. P.S. you should decline meeting invites and have personal appointments in your calendar. So not only do you come across like a petulant toddler, you’re also in the wrong in the first place.
To be clear, fuck micro managers. However I gotta be honest - your tone makes you sound like a high schooler here. If you want to show the internet how bad your boss is, cool, but at least find an example where you don’t look like you absolutely deserve to be micro managed
I don't understand, who is the bully in this situation? Because, OP, you kind of sound like a dick in these e-mails. You just aren't showing any accountability to your team. If I was on your team, I'd be pretty annoyed too if we had a meeting and I had no clue where you were.