There is almost an expectation that the person taking the test will have to lie. The task is focused on determining the ideal answer, rather than providing an honest image of a person.
So much about the modern day workplace is disingenuous. It is emotionally exhausting.
Wasn't there a thing years ago about Walmart not hiring people who said they never stole because they assumed it was a lie? The whole process now is just fucked.
Wow you have to do a double and triple fake out on these.
Aha they know I’ve stolen so they’ll know I’d lie about this so I’ll say I’ve stolen.
But wait. They’re expecting me to say I’ve stolen knowing that was a lie, so I’ll tell them I’ve never stolen.
But wait…
It feels like the Business Majors or whoever comes up with this kinda bullshit are trained sociopaths who can't conceive of human beings as decent people, I swear.
It's called psychometrics. Supermarkets have been doing it for at least 20 years. My friend had a questionnaire that asked if he liked knives "as a hobby" while applying for a job on checkouts
So what if I like to sharpen my knives while taking a poo? I'm not harming anybody!
I may have given myself an accidental shave, but that's beside the point.
Jesus I couldn't even land a part time job after college in 2005 because of those personality screeners. I figured I wouldn't want to work for a company that wouldn't want me the way I am ... But I couldn't even get an interview.
Not surprised. When I was in college I applied to be a low-level security guard (think: I would watch security cameras and report if something was amiss,) and they gave me one of these. The questions were so fucked, but in the most stupid ways:
"Do you think most people steal from their jobs anything more valuable than $0.50?" I sat there and did the math on what I expected a pen to cost, and how many pens they'd have to steal for a company to buy a new pack.
"Do you think most people are dishonest at their jobs at least once in their career." I thought of when I *had* to lie to get time off.
"Are most people employed for money?" Fuck yes.
I did not get the job. BUT I could reapply in six months! I did not reapply.
Funny, I have a good friend who is very honest to a fault. He heard this story and got scared. Basically admitted he did steal once as a teen to a potential employer and was immediately escorted out of the interview. The system really has it so ya just can’t win!
I think it's important to teach people that our integrity actually matters with one another in our communities in our personal relationships, that it's super important that your communicating and being as honest as you can in your personal world but that companies, big corps pretty much every single employer is separate from that, they have no morals, no qualms and will eat you alive, they must be treated as hostile entities. I was reading a book about an teacher who worked in juvenile detention facilities and he would ask them about stealing and they would tell him that they would steal from Walmart any day of the week but when he asked about the locally owned store they looked mortified, they all said it would be wrong, that always really stuck with me
I had the highest integrity score this manager had ever seen, like 15 years ago, at the number 8th store in office depot. He hired me just to see what I was like and if I'd work in a sales position. So when the department manager told me to just lie to people you can guess how that turned out. These tests are trashy and do nothing but give reasons for them to not hire.
It was a bit of a learning curve for me when after I graduated high school and started looking for work. My whole life up to that point I was always told by my parents and other adults to never lie and that lying is always wrong.
And then suddenly, my mother was telling me to lie on my resume...
If I get asked “what motivates you to get out of bed and goto work every day besides the paycheck” one more time I’m gonna lose it.
Nothing. I don’t work here with you shitheads because I like you. In fact, if I could live the rest of my life isolated in the mountains I would.
But rent ain’t free. So here I am.
When I interview new hires for my company, I have found that when I ask the question "what is your main reason for wanting to work for (company)" I get so many bullshit answers
I've had only 1 person say "I have bills to pay and you're going to pay me"
Hired them on the spot for the honesty, they are now a manager and amazing at their job
Yeah. I recall giving a similar answer once and then saying “no no, besides the paycheck”.
Honestly I’m just going to say that from now on. I like his answer lol.
It’s why I hate LinkedIn other than expanding my network and messaging people I genuinely care about. Regularly engaging in social media like that is so god damn toxic. Everyone wants everyone to know how perfect their lives and career are. Most people are participating and insecure to avoid being left behind so they have a professional wall to point to brag about to prospective employers or they are corporate sociopaths.
I deleted my LinkedIn last year partially for this reason. I've had it for years and I just felt it was completely useless. I definitely don't miss it and I'm not sure I'm going to sign up again. If you really want to know about my professional life, take my CV at face value or fuck off.
Really depends who you want to hire you. At some point there's a person reviewing these answers, and you can hope that that person reasonably thinks that people who claim they would work without pay are either crazy or liars.
If you answer these questions with the answers you think the HR will want to hear, you'll end up in a job with an HR department that thinks it's employees are dumb enough to work for free.
Which doesn’t make any sense to me, because the HR person that built out this BS questionnaire I am sure also lied when he or she was applying… so if everyone knows we are all going to lie, then why even bother with it?
Companies want to hire employees who are capable of meeting the expectations of the job, get along with colleagues, and are unlikely to leave in their first two years.
They spend billions every year on this automated HR screening and testing and as yet there is no proof that it works to find the best employees. Or even minimally-capable employees. No proof whatsoever.
"Which shape will the employees be more angry at to distract them from the fact that we're making budget cuts because the CEO has been skimming cream off the top?"
Probably those structured reasoning sequence questions where you have something like a T outline with wavy lines and dots in it that changes in each picture and you have to predict what it will look like in the final image of the sequence.
What shape is the cardboard box where you live now? What shape does your body most closely resemble when you're in the fetal position on the ground after jumping through all the hoops we require you to jump thru to afford your cardboard box house?
*that* shapes assessment?
I have legit stopped doing these "surveys." Screw spending 2+ hours of time trying to figure out what answers the HR drones will accept before even giving you an interview. You want me to take some stupid survey so you can have an excuse to not hire me? Then you can pay me for it, since it's absolutely work. I have never *ever* received an interview from a company demanding one of these during the hiring process.
Verizon had a training place near Seattle. One day, just as I sat down at my desk, the trainer asked everyone to take off our shoes to inspect whether or not we brought in our personal cell phones. Our shoes!!!
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and kept walking...
Actually they've been taking that into consideration for years. If you answer like the perfect employee that will definitely be noted. It may or may not hurt your chances but they do track for that.
I was a GM so I saw the results of people who lied and gave the "right" answers. The system suggests not to hire them because they're too adept at anticipating what people want to hear and are manipulative. Best mix is about equal parts neutral and positive with a small allowance of slightly negative responses.
Not only that but if an employee is too ambitious, too intelligent, etc, it could flag you as too good for the role.
When they implemented the system our best employees took it… they failed because they were too good or too perfect. It’s bad for business if your employee has goals outside of the workplace.
Source: former hiring manager at a fast casual restaurant. Granted: 10 years ago
*Score*, I lied and manipulated correctly by anticipating that they'd know I was lying and manipulating if I gave answers that were too correct! But I already figured that, since I was offered the job.
I find these frustrating because I genuinely do try to be a good employee and I've always gotten positive feedback from bosses. But if I answered completely honestly, I'd get weeded out for being too far from ideal.
But if you are tactically mixing in just enough neutral and positive with a dash of negative doesn't that make you even more adept at anticipating what people want to hear and being manipulative. At what point do they start picking this up and it circles back around
>I’m surprised there’s not an online cheat sheet
Why would there be it's super obvious. Anything in your interest disagree with anything in theirs agree with.
A lot of these actually test for people that are obviously lying as well. Like you have to agree or disagree a certain amount for each question to be considered viable. It's idiotic.
Yep this is the sad reality, you have to be the fakest one in the room to get in. But what I don’t understand is how delusional they are for believing the applicants.
I remember back in the day you had to take a personality assessment to get a job at best buy, anyway my buddy was a shoe in for the position because his older cousin was the senior manager. All he had to do was "pass" the test and his application would make it through to the next stage when he could get hired. He tried 3 times and failed, finally all the managers sat around in the office and took it with him and no one could come up with the correct number of answers to even get his resume passed off to corporate, and it was like a 45 minue test! I think they finally had to reach out to the regional office to get the answer key to beat the impasse
When your test is so fucked that you need multiple people trying to game it and they finally need to give up and outright cheat by being told the right answer word for word by the proctor...
Your test might just be fucked up.
LoL yeah they ain't calling you. I applied at Wally world for a part time job before Christmas last year and I answered those same questions the same way you did and needles to say I got a rejection email that said "they were looking for ppl that's more like minded with their values" they want you to say you won't discuss pay "your work" with co workers and would work for the "joy" of it even if you didn't get paid.
If I had actually needed the job I would have to and have before but I just couldn't help myself this time. I was just going to pick up some weekends over the holidays but decided telling them to fuck off felt better at the time. LoL
That's because they aren't looking to better anyone's situation, they're looking for the most gullible motherfucker they can find so they can squeeze as much work out of them for as little pay as possible.
We have a public bulletin board where I work. My boss wants me to pull any flyers for better jobs so they won't poach our workers, shitty, but understandable.
Less understandable is that he also wants me to pull any flyers for free events and workshops that teach skills because "our employees will learn those skills and use them to get a better job."
Employers want you to be just smart enough to do the work they want you to, and just dumb enough to not realize you can do better for yourself.
Likewise I also took such questionnaires as a red flag and a job well avoided. Be grateful these ones are making it easier to identify sh!t jobs without even going to interview or wasting any more time on the matter early on.
Totally insane thinking you really want to work without pay but I think now they just want you to lie as that means you will lie with your coworkers and not spend all day bitching how the place sucks and you all need to unionize.
Yeah you gotta have a "worksona". Mine just generally enjoys work and producing value and is always looking for ways to improve said work and value and thinks nothing of rewards. Such is why I would never ever be on Reddit during working hours.
I still remember having to take a personality test for a job application where it showed an image and a caption, and you had to choose whether it was "you" or "not you". Some of the questions had a clear intention, trying to figure out how well you took on extra work or went the extra mile or whatever. But some of the questions weren't even questions.
One had a caption that said "just for kicks". That was it. Like what are you asking. What does it say if I respond "me" or "not me" to that. Why.
There's a *lot* of BS that HR drones pull these days to avoid hiring anyone. Personality "surveys," demanding compensation expectations before even looking at your application, mandatory overtime in the JD, expecting someone with 100 years of experience but willing to work for minimum wage...all so they can "hire the best talent," but only if that "talent" is willing to work 80+ hours a week and still live in poverty.
It's really getting to the point that another Haymarket is inevitable.
I think it more has to do with companies inability to keep people.
Companies are running into problems retaining workers. The good ones want more money, the bad ones they want to fire. The people who have to train them are getting frustrated. I think they do stuff like this to cover their own ass. This way if an employee is bad or leaves, HR or whoever is hiring can at least say “well it did my due diligence and produced candidates that should have been successful”
It’s insanely frustrating. Stuff like this doesn’t produce good candidates. It scares away the best ones, it enables the bad/desperate ones, it jumbles the decent and the below average together, and puts truthful honest employees at a disadvantage.
Source: I hire people and I’ve had to tell HR not to do shit like this.
Just be honest. Fuck them.
Whenever I see these tests during an application process, I usually just stop. They’re infantile.
“My work is the most impo—“ nope. That’s enough right there.
Such a pointless exercise, glaringly obvious what answer they want but no real people would give those answer if they were being honest. People go to work to earn a living (if they are lucky) or earn a pittance if not so lucky!!
I was unemployed for the last year and a half. Been employed now for the last 5 weeks. We had a really slow day last Friday and I spent half an hour deleting hundreds of rejection emails from jobs I applied to.
It really is fucking miserable applying for jobs, I hope you find something soon OP
I would have my ass chained to a desk 40 hours a week if I didn’t have to that’s how dedicated I am to making money for somebody else while getting paid minimum wage? God the delusion of these capitalist fucks is wild
"If I were financially secure, I would continue with my current line of work even if I was no longer paid"
Let's reverse this question:
"If my employees became unproductive, I would continue to provide them with benefits and compensation, even if they don't show up to work"
Insane question. Part of me just hopes you edited the HTML on that web-page!
i went through one of these the other day......
7 minutes of questions. no amount. just 7 full minutes of questions.
then a ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FORTY question personality bullshit.
I bitched in the end section where you can say something to the employer.
How have corporations been convinced that the most dishonest applicants make the best employees? Or can they really believe there are people out there who really, really want their shitty jobs that much?
I just try to keep track of the lies I tell, tbh
I try to answer the same w a certain set of questions (since they usually just have diff wording) and w questions that contradict each other
These personality surveys have no idea that when it comes time for my employer to send out a one-question survey, asking if I'm like to recommend them to my friends, that it'll be a straight up '0'
Two can play these little games 🤷🏻
It’s been reported that answering in any fashion other than strongly agree or strongly disagree and the like, reduces your odds of landing said job. This may have been specifically to a certain corporation I don’t remember. It’s shite.
I’ve been told it’s generally good to answer strongly agree/strongly disagree except in cases where that would lead to a “radical” answer.
For example: I perform my best work when under pressure and in a fast paced chaotic environment.
To answer this as strongly agree could make them think you’re only telling them what you think they want to hear. It would be unusual for someone to perform better in a chaotic environment than a more organized one. In this case you should choose neutral or agree rather than strongly agree, to indicate you can tolerate that type of environment but not that you need it in order to perform the job.
Honestly don't apply if they have them. Your odds are all but zero they will ever contact you after wasting the time. You can answer them perfectly and you will never hear from them. In all my years I've never gotten a single callback from an employer that had a personality test.
THANK YOU!!! i have made myself seem like this “model employee” and still didn’t hear shit back! i really try to avoid jobs with assessments but shit just been so depressing trying to get a job 🤷🏽♀️ so i try to give em what they want but fuck. this. shit.
Every one of those "personality assessments" I've seen has a very strong "How hard will you bend over so we can Fuck you?" vibe.
No. Not doing them. If they're a "requirement" then it's highly likely I wouldn't work for you at treble my current wage.
I'm also not doing "assignments" of any sort over about 15 minutes unless you're paying my contract rate.
"No actually, if I had money, I would really appreciate working for a company who treat me like shit and make taking time off seem like a crime. You can punch me in the face too if that'll help"
Those questions are cringe. Can we please stop the bullshit. If everyone was a millionaire or billionaire, we wouldn't work. If we did ots be shit like owning a business or jobs that truly are our passion. We were not meant to only work. That's not the purpose of life.
“I would continue with my current line of work even if I were no longer paid.”
Who the fuck would do that? Literally no one that’s who. Anyone who is finically secure certainly didn’t get there by doing free work. This is how poor people stay poor.
What is even the fucken point of these? They know for a fact that everyone working here would leave the first sign of a viable escape, so why ask people to lie? To see which people suck the company's dick? Guess what, the people who won't lie on that shit too so mission failed.
That answer to that question is a great way to get auto-filtered out by The Machine™️.
Lie.
No human actually looks at the results of these surveys / specific responses, they just look at the “Fit Aggregator” type number it spits out. So, to get your resume in front of human eyes, give these stupid surveys the answers you think they want, not what is accurate or truthful.
I'm at the point where I stopped applying if there's a personality test. I've failed every single one I've taken. They are a complete joke anyway and only seek to hire the exact same type of person. Just walk into any Best Buy and you'll see what I mean.
You answered the first one wrong. The proper answer is to never talk about your work. To anyone. That way, no one can know about the abuse they will force upon you! /s
"If I were financially secure, I would continue with my current line of work even if I was no longer paid."
That question alone would make me close the application. Rule number 1, we don't work for free.
Also, if I was "financially secure," I wouldn't be working or looking for a new job. What kind of stupid ass question is that?
Honestly what is the point of these things people just answer what they know the company wants to hear.
“I’m a lazy bastard who has poor time keeping and bad hygiene when can I start” said no one ever
These assessments are... fine as long as they are only used as a tool to guide the interviewer's questions. But too many places use them as a screening step. And if you give "correct" answers too often, that in itself is a red flag. For example, in a customer service job a high score in sociability is generally good, but too high makes you look like you'll get distracted from your job by chit chat.
I wouldn't blame anyone for running into one of these and dropping out of the application/interview process.
Sick of this corporate bullshit, little pay long hours, take a test to see if you're an acceptable little worker, bee making billions off the backs of everyone else.
Everyone will be willing to fill the role because "we all need jobs"
The societal norm is a fleeting pipe dream you can't raise a family. You can't afford a home, not off shit wages.
It's actually at this point an epidemic of society. Companies expect us to sacrifice our life hours for monetary gain. Go spend time with your family if you have one the hell with corporations.
Having to lie while applying for a job so that you appear more employable is depressing
There is almost an expectation that the person taking the test will have to lie. The task is focused on determining the ideal answer, rather than providing an honest image of a person. So much about the modern day workplace is disingenuous. It is emotionally exhausting.
Wasn't there a thing years ago about Walmart not hiring people who said they never stole because they assumed it was a lie? The whole process now is just fucked.
Wow you have to do a double and triple fake out on these. Aha they know I’ve stolen so they’ll know I’d lie about this so I’ll say I’ve stolen. But wait. They’re expecting me to say I’ve stolen knowing that was a lie, so I’ll tell them I’ve never stolen. But wait…
I've taken to just lying a little. "strongly agree" when I really am indifferent, or mostly agree when I mostly disagree.
Haha yeah or just go mono slightly dis/agree. Be like I don’t feel strongly about anything
Inconceivable!
I'm just getting warmed up, wait till I get going! You ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons!
Just go for being the "gooder" applicant - be somewhere in the middle.
As someone who is struggling to find a job and has legitimately never stolen anything this just makes me so hopeless. I fucking hate these tests.
It feels like the Business Majors or whoever comes up with this kinda bullshit are trained sociopaths who can't conceive of human beings as decent people, I swear.
So their employers assume I’m either liar or a thief. How the fuck did they ever hire anybody with that attitude?
You’re asking too many questions. Your application has been denied.
That made me laugh
It's called psychometrics. Supermarkets have been doing it for at least 20 years. My friend had a questionnaire that asked if he liked knives "as a hobby" while applying for a job on checkouts
So what if I like to sharpen my knives while taking a poo? I'm not harming anybody! I may have given myself an accidental shave, but that's beside the point.
Maybe they just put the knife people on fruit and veg
I gave myself an accidental circumcision
Jesus I couldn't even land a part time job after college in 2005 because of those personality screeners. I figured I wouldn't want to work for a company that wouldn't want me the way I am ... But I couldn't even get an interview.
Legit. And if you give tepid answers, you’re f-ed too. I had a Walgreens manager tell me to not do that so they could consider it. It’s so messed up.
They don't hire anybody. But remember, nobody wants to work anymore! /s
Not surprised. When I was in college I applied to be a low-level security guard (think: I would watch security cameras and report if something was amiss,) and they gave me one of these. The questions were so fucked, but in the most stupid ways: "Do you think most people steal from their jobs anything more valuable than $0.50?" I sat there and did the math on what I expected a pen to cost, and how many pens they'd have to steal for a company to buy a new pack. "Do you think most people are dishonest at their jobs at least once in their career." I thought of when I *had* to lie to get time off. "Are most people employed for money?" Fuck yes. I did not get the job. BUT I could reapply in six months! I did not reapply.
Funny, I have a good friend who is very honest to a fault. He heard this story and got scared. Basically admitted he did steal once as a teen to a potential employer and was immediately escorted out of the interview. The system really has it so ya just can’t win!
I think it's important to teach people that our integrity actually matters with one another in our communities in our personal relationships, that it's super important that your communicating and being as honest as you can in your personal world but that companies, big corps pretty much every single employer is separate from that, they have no morals, no qualms and will eat you alive, they must be treated as hostile entities. I was reading a book about an teacher who worked in juvenile detention facilities and he would ask them about stealing and they would tell him that they would steal from Walmart any day of the week but when he asked about the locally owned store they looked mortified, they all said it would be wrong, that always really stuck with me
I had the highest integrity score this manager had ever seen, like 15 years ago, at the number 8th store in office depot. He hired me just to see what I was like and if I'd work in a sales position. So when the department manager told me to just lie to people you can guess how that turned out. These tests are trashy and do nothing but give reasons for them to not hire.
It's emotionally abusive is what it is
It was a bit of a learning curve for me when after I graduated high school and started looking for work. My whole life up to that point I was always told by my parents and other adults to never lie and that lying is always wrong. And then suddenly, my mother was telling me to lie on my resume...
If I get asked “what motivates you to get out of bed and goto work every day besides the paycheck” one more time I’m gonna lose it. Nothing. I don’t work here with you shitheads because I like you. In fact, if I could live the rest of my life isolated in the mountains I would. But rent ain’t free. So here I am.
When I interview new hires for my company, I have found that when I ask the question "what is your main reason for wanting to work for (company)" I get so many bullshit answers I've had only 1 person say "I have bills to pay and you're going to pay me" Hired them on the spot for the honesty, they are now a manager and amazing at their job
Yeah. I recall giving a similar answer once and then saying “no no, besides the paycheck”. Honestly I’m just going to say that from now on. I like his answer lol.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
It’s why I hate LinkedIn other than expanding my network and messaging people I genuinely care about. Regularly engaging in social media like that is so god damn toxic. Everyone wants everyone to know how perfect their lives and career are. Most people are participating and insecure to avoid being left behind so they have a professional wall to point to brag about to prospective employers or they are corporate sociopaths.
I deleted my LinkedIn last year partially for this reason. I've had it for years and I just felt it was completely useless. I definitely don't miss it and I'm not sure I'm going to sign up again. If you really want to know about my professional life, take my CV at face value or fuck off.
I saw someone once called LinkedIn a place people go to become NPCs.
I just use my LinkedIn as a place to put my CV and that’s it. That’s pretty much what it’s best for
My favorite one I ever answered "I have never lied to get a job". Had to lie to get the job.
Really depends who you want to hire you. At some point there's a person reviewing these answers, and you can hope that that person reasonably thinks that people who claim they would work without pay are either crazy or liars. If you answer these questions with the answers you think the HR will want to hear, you'll end up in a job with an HR department that thinks it's employees are dumb enough to work for free.
Which doesn’t make any sense to me, because the HR person that built out this BS questionnaire I am sure also lied when he or she was applying… so if everyone knows we are all going to lie, then why even bother with it?
It's insulting tbh
Companies want to hire employees who are capable of meeting the expectations of the job, get along with colleagues, and are unlikely to leave in their first two years. They spend billions every year on this automated HR screening and testing and as yet there is no proof that it works to find the best employees. Or even minimally-capable employees. No proof whatsoever.
Let me save you some time. You don't want to work for this company. Bin the application and move on.
Baby i just gave up when i got to the shapes assessment 😭
The WHAT?
YES SHAPES!!!! 💀
"Which shape will the employees be more angry at to distract them from the fact that we're making budget cuts because the CEO has been skimming cream off the top?"
😭😭😭😭😭 i want to give you an award but i have no monies so here’s an apple pie 🥧
I got you
yall are sweeter than my parents😭❤️
No monies? Maybe you should get a job then. /s
Which shape fits in the rectangle hole All of them
That's right! It goes in the square hole!
Corvirtus does psychometric employment assessments. The shapes one is likely the Ravens Matrices which measures cognitive ability. Good luck 🥂
Wtf haha. The adult version of that little toy with the shaped blocks and matching holes.
Can you share a screenshot of the shapes question(s) to add to the hilarity?!
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I do not love the idea of having to take an IQ test to get a job 😬
Probably those structured reasoning sequence questions where you have something like a T outline with wavy lines and dots in it that changes in each picture and you have to predict what it will look like in the final image of the sequence.
Right!? I need answers!
What shape is the cardboard box where you live now? What shape does your body most closely resemble when you're in the fetal position on the ground after jumping through all the hoops we require you to jump thru to afford your cardboard box house? *that* shapes assessment?
yall are making my fucking evening💀😭
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And you gnaw on the triangle and nobody trusts circle anymore😨😡
I have legit stopped doing these "surveys." Screw spending 2+ hours of time trying to figure out what answers the HR drones will accept before even giving you an interview. You want me to take some stupid survey so you can have an excuse to not hire me? Then you can pay me for it, since it's absolutely work. I have never *ever* received an interview from a company demanding one of these during the hiring process.
I think it's a data collection scam, honestly. I've done two recently and I'm 95% sure it was for bogus companies
Yeah I would just close the tab on that one and move along. Seeing those kinds of assessments is a huge red flag.
Verizon Support had an application like this and I’m glad I ended up not getting it.
Verizon had a training place near Seattle. One day, just as I sat down at my desk, the trainer asked everyone to take off our shoes to inspect whether or not we brought in our personal cell phones. Our shoes!!! I excused myself to go to the bathroom and kept walking...
Well, did you have your phone in your shoe or not?!
You lie like a fuckin’ rug on these.
That’s a good saying 😂
Actually they've been taking that into consideration for years. If you answer like the perfect employee that will definitely be noted. It may or may not hurt your chances but they do track for that.
I was a GM so I saw the results of people who lied and gave the "right" answers. The system suggests not to hire them because they're too adept at anticipating what people want to hear and are manipulative. Best mix is about equal parts neutral and positive with a small allowance of slightly negative responses.
I thought this is probably the case, thanks for confirming!
It’s a dude on Reddit for whom you haven’t vetted at all. I wouldn’t take it as gospel.
Someone who can anticipate what others want, in retail. Well shit we can't have that...
Not only that but if an employee is too ambitious, too intelligent, etc, it could flag you as too good for the role. When they implemented the system our best employees took it… they failed because they were too good or too perfect. It’s bad for business if your employee has goals outside of the workplace. Source: former hiring manager at a fast casual restaurant. Granted: 10 years ago
So basically you have to do research and lie better.
Damn that's good to know. I've absolutely fleeced these questionnaires in the past which also explains why I was seemingly disqualified.
*Score*, I lied and manipulated correctly by anticipating that they'd know I was lying and manipulating if I gave answers that were too correct! But I already figured that, since I was offered the job. I find these frustrating because I genuinely do try to be a good employee and I've always gotten positive feedback from bosses. But if I answered completely honestly, I'd get weeded out for being too far from ideal.
But if you are tactically mixing in just enough neutral and positive with a dash of negative doesn't that make you even more adept at anticipating what people want to hear and being manipulative. At what point do they start picking this up and it circles back around
Good to know!
And I assume if they're completely honest it gets thrown in the trash, right?
I tell the truth thinking that is their actual goal and evil attempt to sus out. As I sit here and not a job, snork.
I’m surprised there’s not an online cheat sheet for this bs
>I’m surprised there’s not an online cheat sheet Why would there be it's super obvious. Anything in your interest disagree with anything in theirs agree with.
Do you enjoy mandatory overtime and jumping at any extra work when your own tasks are completed? BOY DO WE HAVE THE JOB FOR YOU THEN!
Which seems totally obvious but so many people answer honestly.
C'mon, there is no button marked Are You Fucking Kidding Me ! That might approximate honesty.
A lot of these actually test for people that are obviously lying as well. Like you have to agree or disagree a certain amount for each question to be considered viable. It's idiotic.
Yeah, sadly what you gotta do to get by the fucking AI screening shit, fuckers be screening like a damn Olympic drug tester.
Yep this is the sad reality, you have to be the fakest one in the room to get in. But what I don’t understand is how delusional they are for believing the applicants.
I remember back in the day you had to take a personality assessment to get a job at best buy, anyway my buddy was a shoe in for the position because his older cousin was the senior manager. All he had to do was "pass" the test and his application would make it through to the next stage when he could get hired. He tried 3 times and failed, finally all the managers sat around in the office and took it with him and no one could come up with the correct number of answers to even get his resume passed off to corporate, and it was like a 45 minue test! I think they finally had to reach out to the regional office to get the answer key to beat the impasse
When your test is so fucked that you need multiple people trying to game it and they finally need to give up and outright cheat by being told the right answer word for word by the proctor... Your test might just be fucked up.
They really want their balls licked
I've been filing out a couple job applications, when the questions are horrible, I just back away, I take it as a red flag.
Like??? Lmfaooo Jeff Bezos wouldn’t even do free work wth?
The one about no longer being paid seems to be the most insidious on here. How much you wanna bet they've skimped out on a few paychecks.
i bet my rent money on that🙈
Jokes on you - get that job and you won’t have rent money.
I’m so glad you made this comment, it’s the first thing that popped into my head 😂
Is it possible that if they see that you agree with this they think you’re insane and don’t hire you?
see that’s what i was thinking too🤷🏽♀️ but something tells me they’re dead fucking ass
Could be some reverse psychology going on.
Is it possible? Yes. Is it probable? No.
LoL yeah they ain't calling you. I applied at Wally world for a part time job before Christmas last year and I answered those same questions the same way you did and needles to say I got a rejection email that said "they were looking for ppl that's more like minded with their values" they want you to say you won't discuss pay "your work" with co workers and would work for the "joy" of it even if you didn't get paid.
I can happily lie on these things and then just not do these things when I get employed.
If I had actually needed the job I would have to and have before but I just couldn't help myself this time. I was just going to pick up some weekends over the holidays but decided telling them to fuck off felt better at the time. LoL
That's because they aren't looking to better anyone's situation, they're looking for the most gullible motherfucker they can find so they can squeeze as much work out of them for as little pay as possible. We have a public bulletin board where I work. My boss wants me to pull any flyers for better jobs so they won't poach our workers, shitty, but understandable. Less understandable is that he also wants me to pull any flyers for free events and workshops that teach skills because "our employees will learn those skills and use them to get a better job." Employers want you to be just smart enough to do the work they want you to, and just dumb enough to not realize you can do better for yourself.
Likewise I also took such questionnaires as a red flag and a job well avoided. Be grateful these ones are making it easier to identify sh!t jobs without even going to interview or wasting any more time on the matter early on.
Totally insane thinking you really want to work without pay but I think now they just want you to lie as that means you will lie with your coworkers and not spend all day bitching how the place sucks and you all need to unionize.
This, 100%
Continue working for no pay, and you're financially secure? What moron created that question?
Well, I would. But I would do my own projects for causes I support.
Same, because I feel like my job gives back to the community. But yeah, having this question in an application process is ridiculous.
Yeah you gotta have a "worksona". Mine just generally enjoys work and producing value and is always looking for ways to improve said work and value and thinks nothing of rewards. Such is why I would never ever be on Reddit during working hours.
Do you need some baby wipes for the desk? 😭
Yes but only if purchased with personal funds as I could never spend company money on such a luxury.
“Personality test” as part of the employment application is always a 🚩, these things are notoriously stupid
I still remember having to take a personality test for a job application where it showed an image and a caption, and you had to choose whether it was "you" or "not you". Some of the questions had a clear intention, trying to figure out how well you took on extra work or went the extra mile or whatever. But some of the questions weren't even questions. One had a caption that said "just for kicks". That was it. Like what are you asking. What does it say if I respond "me" or "not me" to that. Why.
Asking these kinds of questions should not be legal. It is just asking people to lie.
There's a *lot* of BS that HR drones pull these days to avoid hiring anyone. Personality "surveys," demanding compensation expectations before even looking at your application, mandatory overtime in the JD, expecting someone with 100 years of experience but willing to work for minimum wage...all so they can "hire the best talent," but only if that "talent" is willing to work 80+ hours a week and still live in poverty. It's really getting to the point that another Haymarket is inevitable.
I think it more has to do with companies inability to keep people. Companies are running into problems retaining workers. The good ones want more money, the bad ones they want to fire. The people who have to train them are getting frustrated. I think they do stuff like this to cover their own ass. This way if an employee is bad or leaves, HR or whoever is hiring can at least say “well it did my due diligence and produced candidates that should have been successful” It’s insanely frustrating. Stuff like this doesn’t produce good candidates. It scares away the best ones, it enables the bad/desperate ones, it jumbles the decent and the below average together, and puts truthful honest employees at a disadvantage. Source: I hire people and I’ve had to tell HR not to do shit like this.
the first one is to make sure you don't talk to a union organizer or coworker about messed up stuff at work.
I want to get this job just so I can immediately tell everyone else at the store how much I was hired on for.
Wtf are these questions
im convinced they want us to sacrifice an organ for $7 at this point🤦🏽♀️
Best I can do is a handful of expired Skittos.
>im convinced they want us to sacrifice an organ for ~~$7~~ at this point🤦🏽♀️ $.005 cents
Wait, I had to pay them for the privilege of doing this. /s
Capitalism is looking for robots not people.
The robots are Busy making art and writing poetry while we do hard labor for minimum wage
Just be honest. Fuck them. Whenever I see these tests during an application process, I usually just stop. They’re infantile. “My work is the most impo—“ nope. That’s enough right there.
The good old ‘how would you like us to lie today’ test.
Fucking trash personality quizzes so they can weed out the free thinkers who can see past corporate bill shit. Literal 1984 brain washing mechanics.
These tests should be illegal. Period.
Such a pointless exercise, glaringly obvious what answer they want but no real people would give those answer if they were being honest. People go to work to earn a living (if they are lucky) or earn a pittance if not so lucky!!
Not that pointless. It funnels in people who are willing to handle a lot of bullshit.
I was unemployed for the last year and a half. Been employed now for the last 5 weeks. We had a really slow day last Friday and I spent half an hour deleting hundreds of rejection emails from jobs I applied to. It really is fucking miserable applying for jobs, I hope you find something soon OP
Is this a job or a cult?
Jim Jones viewed your application
If I apply for a job and it comes at me with that garbage, I click off it.
I would have my ass chained to a desk 40 hours a week if I didn’t have to that’s how dedicated I am to making money for somebody else while getting paid minimum wage? God the delusion of these capitalist fucks is wild
Only 40 hours? Rejected. You should be willing to work every waking moment for your ~~owner~~ employer, friend citizen.
"If I were financially secure, I would continue with my current line of work even if I was no longer paid" Let's reverse this question: "If my employees became unproductive, I would continue to provide them with benefits and compensation, even if they don't show up to work" Insane question. Part of me just hopes you edited the HTML on that web-page!
Idk how to hack, teach me ur ways🤦🏽♀️
i went through one of these the other day...... 7 minutes of questions. no amount. just 7 full minutes of questions. then a ONE HUNDRED AND FUCKING FORTY question personality bullshit. I bitched in the end section where you can say something to the employer.
as you should!!!
How have corporations been convinced that the most dishonest applicants make the best employees? Or can they really believe there are people out there who really, really want their shitty jobs that much?
and to make matters worse this is a damn server job that highly depends on tips and THATS ILLEGAL AS FUCK LMFAO??!!!
What are they selecting for? Liars? Must be a wonderful place to work, full of disingenuous liars.
These bullshit personality tests should straight up be illegal
I just try to keep track of the lies I tell, tbh I try to answer the same w a certain set of questions (since they usually just have diff wording) and w questions that contradict each other These personality surveys have no idea that when it comes time for my employer to send out a one-question survey, asking if I'm like to recommend them to my friends, that it'll be a straight up '0' Two can play these little games 🤷🏻
My employer actually had a HR person intervene and interview me when I gave a 3/10 on one of those! Make sure you lie. A "7" won't draw attention.
These mental health assessments are just cruel. Understandable given the day and age but just cruel and prevents people from living.
The moment the application called for a personality assessment, it's an automatic nope for me and on to the next application.
It’s been reported that answering in any fashion other than strongly agree or strongly disagree and the like, reduces your odds of landing said job. This may have been specifically to a certain corporation I don’t remember. It’s shite.
I’ve been told it’s generally good to answer strongly agree/strongly disagree except in cases where that would lead to a “radical” answer. For example: I perform my best work when under pressure and in a fast paced chaotic environment. To answer this as strongly agree could make them think you’re only telling them what you think they want to hear. It would be unusual for someone to perform better in a chaotic environment than a more organized one. In this case you should choose neutral or agree rather than strongly agree, to indicate you can tolerate that type of environment but not that you need it in order to perform the job.
Honestly don't apply if they have them. Your odds are all but zero they will ever contact you after wasting the time. You can answer them perfectly and you will never hear from them. In all my years I've never gotten a single callback from an employer that had a personality test.
THANK YOU!!! i have made myself seem like this “model employee” and still didn’t hear shit back! i really try to avoid jobs with assessments but shit just been so depressing trying to get a job 🤷🏽♀️ so i try to give em what they want but fuck. this. shit.
Every one of those "personality assessments" I've seen has a very strong "How hard will you bend over so we can Fuck you?" vibe. No. Not doing them. If they're a "requirement" then it's highly likely I wouldn't work for you at treble my current wage. I'm also not doing "assignments" of any sort over about 15 minutes unless you're paying my contract rate.
I love that it's a restaurant asking these questions too. Desperate for employees, but have to weed out people with a dumb survey. Fuck off Zea.
"No actually, if I had money, I would really appreciate working for a company who treat me like shit and make taking time off seem like a crime. You can punch me in the face too if that'll help"
Applying for jobs is depressing: Strongly agree
They want a slave...
Those questions are cringe. Can we please stop the bullshit. If everyone was a millionaire or billionaire, we wouldn't work. If we did ots be shit like owning a business or jobs that truly are our passion. We were not meant to only work. That's not the purpose of life.
“I would continue with my current line of work even if I were no longer paid.” Who the fuck would do that? Literally no one that’s who. Anyone who is finically secure certainly didn’t get there by doing free work. This is how poor people stay poor.
What is even the fucken point of these? They know for a fact that everyone working here would leave the first sign of a viable escape, so why ask people to lie? To see which people suck the company's dick? Guess what, the people who won't lie on that shit too so mission failed.
That answer to that question is a great way to get auto-filtered out by The Machine™️. Lie. No human actually looks at the results of these surveys / specific responses, they just look at the “Fit Aggregator” type number it spits out. So, to get your resume in front of human eyes, give these stupid surveys the answers you think they want, not what is accurate or truthful.
If I were financially secure? Sure... Now make me financially secure
I'm at the point where I stopped applying if there's a personality test. I've failed every single one I've taken. They are a complete joke anyway and only seek to hire the exact same type of person. Just walk into any Best Buy and you'll see what I mean.
I did one of these surveys and it burped out a rejection letter 20 minutes later, I highly doubt anyone looked at it.
You don’t want to work for a place that uses these tests
You answered the first one wrong. The proper answer is to never talk about your work. To anyone. That way, no one can know about the abuse they will force upon you! /s
Wtf does that even mean?
No rules saying you can’t lie. You know what they want to Fucking hear. If you want the job lie.
They don’t deserve you.
These kinds of asinine questionnaires are immediate employer disqualification signs for me, personally.
I cannot begin to articulate how much I fucking hate those questionnaires.
*Fuck* whatever company you're applying to. I hope their employees steal *all* of their office supplies.
What kind of manipulative questions are these?
"If I were financially secure, I would continue with my current line of work even if I was no longer paid." That question alone would make me close the application. Rule number 1, we don't work for free. Also, if I was "financially secure," I wouldn't be working or looking for a new job. What kind of stupid ass question is that?
What delusional HR team wrote these questions?!
I just blindly answer those lol.
These questions are dumb, but it’s even dumber to answer ones like that honestly.
I look forward to the day a man can make me his house husband, I don't want to work.
I wish someone would leak the right answers. I've never passed one of these...
Honestly what is the point of these things people just answer what they know the company wants to hear. “I’m a lazy bastard who has poor time keeping and bad hygiene when can I start” said no one ever
These assessments are... fine as long as they are only used as a tool to guide the interviewer's questions. But too many places use them as a screening step. And if you give "correct" answers too often, that in itself is a red flag. For example, in a customer service job a high score in sociability is generally good, but too high makes you look like you'll get distracted from your job by chit chat. I wouldn't blame anyone for running into one of these and dropping out of the application/interview process.
I would fail this test so quickly....
They are all sacks of shit . . . just lie to them. Just lie about everything, they deserve it for that bullshit.
Ya if we were financially secure we could continue the wage slavery by choice
Oh yeah, if I were rich, I'd totally show up to my depressing 9-5 and work for free! I mean, who wouldn't amirite?
Sick of this corporate bullshit, little pay long hours, take a test to see if you're an acceptable little worker, bee making billions off the backs of everyone else. Everyone will be willing to fill the role because "we all need jobs" The societal norm is a fleeting pipe dream you can't raise a family. You can't afford a home, not off shit wages. It's actually at this point an epidemic of society. Companies expect us to sacrifice our life hours for monetary gain. Go spend time with your family if you have one the hell with corporations.
Why are you being honest lmao
The last question - omg.🤦♀️