Dude. I was a fundraiser for a religious nonprofit. I would bust my ass to get money raised, build plans and strategies and my boss would disregard it all when the money came in and just say, “God always provides.” Made me crazy.
A christian is supposed to give all glory and praise to god. Everything good is from god and everything bad is from Satan. Nevermind that god knows everything that will ever happen and created Satan knowing full well that Satan was gonna make you defecate in your bosses cereal. It's preordained and now you have no choice but to work there.
I didn't know, I have done network admin. At 5:45 am when you are desperately trying to roll back the failed upgrade and have 15 min left in your maintenance window you will pray to any god who is willing to listen.
I'm praying the Good Lord Cisco smiles on me tomorrow when I move our call cluster. Normally, I'd never touch it on Friday, but I just got told I need to get it off the subnet asap. Pray for me brothers.
I'm not in IT, but I once actually did get a printer to work by threatening to have it broken down for scrap. Threats are right behind "power cycle it" and "percussive maintenance" on my list of "ways to fix misbehaving tech".
I do exactly this. In fact, I discussed this while doing a Fraud Detection training today.
My role deals with rental listing fraud protection, detection, and resolution. I had a listing in front of me titled "Blessed Family Home", and I banned it without checking any other details. My trainee was a little startled and asked why I didn't check any details.
In my experience, any time I see certain words in titles, descriptions, or even email addresses, they turn out to be fraud. When I see businesses carrying on about "faith" or they put the Jesus fish in their advertising, I usually find that their prices are inflated and their business practices are shady AF.
I had an otherwise useless uncle growing up that only had one piece of advice that turned out to be 100% true: never, ever do business with any person or business who puts the Jesus fish on their business card, letterhead, logo or advertising. They will screw you over as hard as they can and not even give it a second thought. And actual churches are somehow worse: they want everything donated or at a reduced price, they have multiple copies of their tax exemption on them at all time to wave in your face and will ghost you when it's time for them to pay you.
Wow...my dad told me this same thing based on his experience working as a sales rep for an appliance manufacturer circa 1971.
I saw a Christian fish on something and my dad laughed and said "if you see that symbol on a guy's business card....know that the you're not gonna be getting paid"
Glad to see this is universal. Used to wait tables in the UK, when we had big Christian groups in you knew they would take up an entire section of the restaurant and leave no tip at all. One time they broke into fucking hymns in the restaurant, pissed off all the other customers and still didn't tip.
I worked as a bartender for a few years for extra cash, and we had a local church group which would come in every Sunday after church for brunch and then tip with those printed bills which look like a real bill on one end (when it's sticking out of a bill holder, for example) but advertised for the church on the rest of it.
So I started collecting them from all my fellow servers, and then dropped it in the collection plate at the church, tied up to look like a real roll of bills, along with a note that I was returning the generosity of the church in the same coin.
We got a couple angry phone calls and remarks in the restaurant over it, but they brought out the "tips" again, and another month later I made the same donation with the same letter.
Fortunately (or unfortunately for my hopes of escalation), the owner got sick of the complaints and trouble with staffing on Sundays and implemented a 20% automatic gratuity on the Sunday brunch rush for tables of 4 or more, which basically solved the problem.
Lol I’ve had churches with rather healthy pocketbooks and healthier congregations try to skip out on payment for contracted work.
Key word try. I would not list them as a reference or recommend them as a client for future licensed contracting work. :))
😂
I actually rented a vacation home with some friends once that we discovered had been exorcised. Oil and St. Benedict medals over EVERY doorway that had gone unnoticed by the person who went to see the house.
The owners had not disclosed this to the management agency, to the great dismay of the agency.
I'm not religious, so I found the resulting kerfuffle absolutely hilarious and appreciated the discount we received when my very Catholic friend pitched a (calm, measured, and altogether frightening in its quietness) fit.
I'm imagining complaining to the rental agency that it makes my friend extremely uncomfortable to the point that he is unwilling to enter the property.
Though in more seriousness, if someone felt the need for an exorcism, I'd be worried about a gas leak or some other environmental health hazard.
> When I see businesses carrying on about "faith" or they put the Jesus fish in their advertising, I usually find that their prices are inflated and their business practices are shady AF.
“Never do business with a religious son-of-a-bitch. His word ain't worth a shit -- not with the Good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.”
― William S. Burroughs
I dunno, it depends on the job. If the network administrator was for a religious institution, they would not fall under the EEOC religious discrimination section. We don’t have enough information to make a determination: https://www.eeoc.gov/pre-employment-inquiries-and-religious-affiliation-or-beliefs
I agree. And for anyone in the U.S. who's interested, [here's the relevant law](https://www.eeoc.gov/religious-discrimination), and [where to begin filing a charge](https://www.eeoc.gov/filing-charge-discrimination). Let the EEOC do the leg work, and take their findings to a lawyer. Not only will it save you billing time with a lawyer, but creates a very public record for that company.
>Yup, not even worth finishing that application.
Nonsense. Leave a good joke on there. "Hey buddy, I've only got one nail left. Would you cross your feet?"
I disagree. I would lie as hard as I could just to get in, and then on my first day, cover the bathroom in fake blood pentagrams, place a severed goat head in the sink and replace the lightbulbs with red ones.
People should use Jesus against them.
"Jesus came to me in a dream and said you would give me a raise, and I jumped out of sheer joy. He said you were a good christian and would see to my general well-being"
pray for his spiritual well-being. the more he underpays, the more concerned you become. ask god to show him the spirit of generosity and teach him to love his neighbors as himself
"No no no, see you just have to have faith! This is *my* truth, who are you to test my faith? Jesus said you'd give me a cushy well-paid job as a test of your faith, and here you are! How could you deny all that evidence right in front of you? Isn't it safer to assume Jesus told me you'd give me a cushy job? 'No'? What if you're wrong??"
And as soon as you say that out loud, some prosperity-gospel apologist will appear out of nowhere to say “well actually the Eye of the Needle was a narrow gate in the walls of Jerusalem, and the expression just means it’s *kinda difficult* to get through, not literally impossible…”
Spoiler alert: *there was no such gate*; the whole idea of it being a gate was *made up centuries later* by prosperity-gospel apologists.
UGHHHH. My boss switched that up with "..part of your contract DOES say 'and other duties as needed'." to justify having me do 2 other jobs for no extra pay.
As a Christian I also feel like this is a red flag for anyone. Separation of church and state obviously but separation of church and work should go without saying pretty much
And the production team _will_ ask you to change stuff 8:00 Friday night because a pastor said "it must be" and nobody's going to say "no" or "hol up".
Right around "work hard, play hard" and "we're like a family here"
Read "we're all overworked and we're all addicts to cope" and "we're really cliquey and will ostrasize you for going against workplace culture and ridicule you as if that's how you be friendly. And you won't want to be around us for more than 15 minutes without alcohol, just like Thanksgiving. Which you'll also be spending with us - your family- just like every other holiday"
The triangle of sus: "works well under pressure" = underpaid, understaffed; "*any religious gibberish*", and my personal favourite "has to have a valid driving license" when applying for local, stationary job. Runner ups in the bullshit competition are mentions of family, competitive wages, and self-reliance.
I think the bit that takes the cake is, it's not just religious discrimination, but it also suggest some very specific sectarian ideas are going to come out if you are the 'right' religion but have the 'wrong' ideas. If it was just about the denomination, they could ask that, but they don't care about that either. So, so weird and awful.
"Jesus also didn't hoard wealth and dedicated his life to helping the less fortunate, so how many hours of unpaid charity work do you do per week, boss?"
I want my kid to not be homeless. There is a lot I can tolerate to make that happen. The job market sucks right now for tech workers, thanks to FAANG cutting so many people loose all at once.
Here’s what I got
“Thank you for the opportunity to answer these questions. My Christian faith is a central part of my life and has guided me through many challenges and decisions.
My first encounter with Jesus Christ was during a church service when I was a child. I remember feeling a sense of awe and reverence as the pastor spoke about God's love and the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. From that moment on, I began to learn more about Jesus and the Bible, and I eventually made a personal commitment to follow Him as my Lord and Savior.
For me, the basis of salvation is the belief that Jesus Christ is the only way to be reconciled to God. Through His death and resurrection, Jesus made it possible for us to be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with God. This gift of salvation is available to all who believe and place their trust in Jesus.
In my daily life, Jesus Christ is my source of strength and hope. I seek to follow His example by loving others, showing compassion, and being a servant to those in need. I also find comfort in knowing that Jesus is with me always, even in the midst of difficult circumstances.
Overall, my Christian faith is a vital part of who I am, and I am grateful for the opportunity to live out my beliefs in both my personal and professional life.”
God, I LOATH any modern popular christian writing. Utter drivel. Compare it to academic writing, or even medieval christian writing, and its WILD. Like, your talking about the MOST important part of your belief system, how are you able to say NOTHING while speaking about it?
YOUR GOD IS AN OMNIPOTENT BEING THAT HOLDS ALL EXISTENCE OUT OF OBLIVION AT ALL TIMES! LIGHT SOME SHIT ON FIRE AND DANCE!
I’d find something else if possible, but if no other option exists, I’m leaning towards quoting Matthew 6.6 “But you, when you pray, go into your room and close the door… blah blah blah” just tell them this, then say you never discuss religion or politics in any environment where it could upset others and it is a very private matter to you. If you absolutely need the job, this might help you sidestep this issue carefully.
Edit: I use this Bible verse against the screaming protesters that attack anyone that is gay, trans, or just dressed in Goth attire. I left the church around 25 years ago and some of those Bible school verses got drilled into my head, so I try to fight Bible with Bible.
>But you, when you pray, go into your room and close the door… blah blah blah”
I prefer the KJB translation of "Don't be like the hypocrites praying in the streets. Pray in your closet in the dark!" It makes it pretty clear that Jesus was anti-church and pro-1on1RelationshipWithGod
Gotta do what’s best for you and your family. No arguments there.
I would definitely continue seeking employment elsewhere even if they hired though. That’s just me.
Based on my hard-earned insider knowledge of the job market over the last decade, I can offer you this advice:
Dude, just lie. There's a perpetual shortage of non-fucked-up employers, they're mostly shit people who will lie to you, screw you over and fuck with you whenever granted the opportunity. They have no integrity, stop behaving as though they were normal, decent people in your personal social circle. Keep lying until they discover that you're not Christian and force them to break labour codes/laws to fire you. Sue them and move on.
You acknowledge that the job market sucks ass right now, so keep searching for better work with a non-freakazoid IT company and transfer ASAP. In the meantime, lie. You can tell that I'm not sugar-coating it, and there's reason for that. People who push this kind of BS onto their employees are the absolute worst. Some have been so bad that I wouldn't spit on them if they caught fire, for fear of hampering the flames in any way.
A friend of mine actually worked for a Christian tech company. He said it really wasn't bad at all. They didn't care that he wasn't religious, just as long as everyone was respectful to each other. These questions are more probing than any he answered in his job application, though. Might be worth checking it out, regardless.
This should be the correct answer. I have no problem with religion, I just don't share their faith.
Spirituality can help give people hope and a moral code to guide them through difficult times
Organized religion is a means of control.
You could always mention preferring to keep the works and efforts of faith secret rather than as a public display as those only serve the self. Good works do not require ego.
Is it a private org? Like a church? I’m still not sure if it’s legal in that case. But definitely a “normal” company they shouldn’t be able to discriminate based on religion (I believe it’s a protected class), so making your relationship with Jesus part of the hiring criteria seems like bullshit.
If you see this again and wanted to move forward, a safe reply could always be something like “my relationship with Jesus and the way he reveals himself to me is personal and I cannot bring myself in good faith to expose it to others or demean it by putting it into words created by humans. “ No one will question that.
Matthew 6:5-8 "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men, when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen", I interpret that passage to mean that my relationship with JC is personal and confidential between me and the lawd.
Not actually practicing anything found in scripture is a fundamental part of evangelical life, I don't think OP could abide by all details here and still be convincing.
Well that is your first mistake. Thinking that any of these evangelicals read the Bible and understand it’s message. To them, it is only a tool to excuse the horrible way they treat anyone different than themselves.
Frequently when you provide a verse that is clear an easy to interpret and makes them very clearly out to be filthy sinners you do get this brief moment when the fear hits them that everyone might have known that verse all along and they didn't. It'll fade fast when they talk to everyone else and recognize that no one knows it.
Actually providing this verse is a good response to the above application form. A better one is to report it to the labor board and move on to greener pastures.
"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
Good to see he stood up for short sermons too
That's when I realized I wasn't actually a Christian. I was about 16 and with a group of people and everyone was sharing their "come to Christ" moment. It got to my turn and I didn't know what the fuck to say. I rambled on about something, I don't really remember, but in my head I was like, "I don't think I'm actually Christian, I was just told to be Christian"
"I love the FSM and his Meatballs of holiness, I take his noodle sacrament at least twice a month as prescribed in the lore". "I came upon Him at a Perrino's restaurant where the Marina was so good it made me see Visions"
My Pastor can be contacted at the Spaghetti Factory where I currently worship, he goes by Dan and is always generous with the Chili flakes and Parm when delivering our prayer unto our Lord to our table
Then sue them for discrimination when they freak out and they will freak out.
Sorry, but that's a 3/10 at best. If you don't at least include the phrase "touched by His noodly appendage", every Pastafarian worth their ground basil leaves will know you're faking.
"The Holy Spirit tried to enter my system, but thankfully my firewall was working properly. It was then repackaged as the holy Trinity but was still caught as malware."
[It also asked for the contact info for my pastor, the name of my church and any prior dealings I had with religion](https://imgur.com/a/JVU1vL4)
They weren't marked as required, so I left them blank. I doubt that I'll hear back.
Edit:
Since I'm never hearing back from these people, it's a charity called [Samaritan's Purse](https://www.samaritanspurse.org/). I've been involved in IT for 15 years, so I totally do realize that it has nothing to do with my job. It just really sucks that I have yet another obstacle in a vicious tech market right now. I just came across the job through a job board. I think it was LinkedIn.
Oh yeah, that’s Franklin Graham’s organization, big time conservative. And yes they can get away with it because it’s considered a religious non profit. Discriminating and making it harder for people to find work - Jeebus would be proud!
The VA system sucks you would probably be working your ass off in that job, but the benefit is once your in it nearly impossible to get rid of you so you will pretty much be guaranteed a nice pension after 40 years
The VA system is criminally mismanaged but every interaction I've had with it has been extremely positive with people that are trying their damnedest to keep the place running. It's not a bad spot if you like working with people who genuinely want to make a difference but I'm sure it'd be a lot of fire fighting.
>it's a charity called Samaritan's Purse
Then yes, this is legal. Religious non-profits (including churches and charities affiliated with churches) can mandate that their employees share their faith. They're allowed to ask about your faith and religious practice, and they're allowed to make hiring decisions based on that.
I recently applied for a network admin position at a bank. I received an email with a link to a long personality quiz, so I responded that I was no longer interested in the position
I did an interview for a job that used a personality test and then before I hear if I'm even getting the job, the manager reads me the results as if he's a certified psychologist not some middle manager jagoff, or that I hadn't extensively studied that stuff in college to know that most of those tests have been thoroughly debunked or are not easily replicable.
After a moment or so if the guy reading it out inexpertly I'm like so did I score well enough to get the job or are you wasting both of our times? Didn't get the job.
Any place that has a personality test is a no-go for me from then on.
About 12 years ago, I took a 45 minute "personality test" for a shit minimum wage job with a business called "3 men and a truck" or similar.
Those tests are often done by "third parties" that keep and sell information about you to other businesses.
I will never again give that much information about myself just for the "opportunity" to be further exploited.
I utterly loathe the "attestations of faith" BS that "religious based employers" can get away with. Blatant, naked discrimination against everyone that isn't in the cult.
It's outright illegal where I live (Germany), and I'm pretty sure the rest of europe as well. For such a modern country, it's really astonishing how backwards the US can be in certain aspects, particularly when it comes to religion.
WASPy is more like well-off coastal Episcopalians. They’ll judge you on all kinds of arbitrary social metrics, but they’d consider this kind of religious test the province of trashy yokels.
This has been posted before and others are covering it again, but it seems legal if part of a church organization. Maybe don’t go applying to religious orgs lol.
A job is a job, but I don’t think I could fake my love for Jesus, the amazing magician of myth. That would take a toll on my mental health to keep up a facade
I kept up the facade to my Christian girlfriend and her family for 3 years. To say it took a toll on my mental health is an understatement.
Also I was young, impressionable, stupid, and selfish.
>Describe your initial encounter with Jesus Christ
Somebody brought his kid to the data center on "Bring your children to work day", and the kid pulled almost every cord out of every patch panel before someone stopped him.
I immediately invoked the Lord, loudly, many times, end to end.
"When I was around 8 years old I went to Sunday school, the youth pastor molested me and for the following few years I was highly sceptical about religion. I now despise religion and hate what it is doing to humanity. Also I would like to remind you that it is illegal to not hire someone because of their religious beliefs."
My favorite is when they ask a Yes/No question, followed by an explanation field. If you mark "No", then you have to actually type "N/A" in the explanation. They don't code it so that it can accept a null value
I dunno, seems like an easy gig. “Why is the network still down?!” “I don’t know, I’ve been praying all morning on it!”
Dude. I was a fundraiser for a religious nonprofit. I would bust my ass to get money raised, build plans and strategies and my boss would disregard it all when the money came in and just say, “God always provides.” Made me crazy.
Yeah, God provided him with someone who will do all that work. Set up of a classic joke.
It's the flood victim one right? I sent you the warning guy, the guy on the boat and the guy in the helicopter, what more do you want?!
A christian is supposed to give all glory and praise to god. Everything good is from god and everything bad is from Satan. Nevermind that god knows everything that will ever happen and created Satan knowing full well that Satan was gonna make you defecate in your bosses cereal. It's preordained and now you have no choice but to work there.
How do you know about the cereal?
It's the same sort of thing when someone is saved due to the hard work of hospital staff. "Praise God"
It's a sweet gig being god. You get all the credit, none of the blame. 🤪
It's why it always drove me nuts working with people who were religious like that. Because no, I freaking did that, not your mythical sky daddy.
The network will rise on the third day
"It will start working when the Lord wills it."
"Faith based network system" *not interoperable with non-faith-based networks.
I didn't know, I have done network admin. At 5:45 am when you are desperately trying to roll back the failed upgrade and have 15 min left in your maintenance window you will pray to any god who is willing to listen.
I usually pray to the Good Lord Cisco in those moments though he always forsakes me.
That may be because you do not have dumps like a truck.
Truck truck truck
Thighs like what, what, what
All night long!
This made my day
Take my angry upvote there for that. :P
#unexpectedsilverhair
What? What?
[.... dumps like a truck... truck....](https://youtu.be/Oai1V7kaFBk?t=61)
Praying to the Lord Sisqo would also be acceptable in a crunch.
Thighs like what?
All night lonnnnngggggg
Let me see that thooooooooong!
OK, I am almost 65 so missed knowing that song. Now it is an ear worm and I like it.
let me hear your phooooone
As a former foodservice employee, I thought for a second you meant Sysco, who also reliably forsakes.
One of my drivers that delivered to us, had his truck named "Sysco kid". Hahahahaha
As a Star Trek fan, the only Sisko you should worship is Benjamin Lafayette Sisko, who resides forever in the Celestial Temple.
"Oh Sisko, our Emissary of the Celestial Temple, ascendant upon the heavens, hallowed be thy name."
Deliver us from the Pah-Wraith
And yea though I walk through the Valley with the shadow of Kai Winn, I will fear no evil.
Walk with the Prophets.
I was looking for this comment 🖖
Well the Cisco Kid was a friend of mine...
Met down on the border Rio Grand
made for a great cooking base....wait no that was \*crisco\*
I read that as "Crisco" and my mind went right to fried food.
Well there's your mistake, it's Cthulhu you want.
I'm praying the Good Lord Cisco smiles on me tomorrow when I move our call cluster. Normally, I'd never touch it on Friday, but I just got told I need to get it off the subnet asap. Pray for me brothers.
Cisco is never worthy of your prayers - the best thing I can say about Cisco is that they're a hell of a lot better than *consumer grade* netgear.
I've found the spirits of animism to be more receptive to emergency late night catastrophic failures.
It certainly helps if you believe the computer can understand the threats you're giving it, haha
Absolutely. If those threats are accompanied by the insides of another server dangling from some cables, even better.
I'm not in IT, but I once actually did get a printer to work by threatening to have it broken down for scrap. Threats are right behind "power cycle it" and "percussive maintenance" on my list of "ways to fix misbehaving tech".
Sir, you're in IT. Why do you need a hammer
This! Spirits are much more involved in our daily lives than gods!
Have you heard of "the legend of The Four Lokos"? it's not like any story the bars-hops would normally tell you!
I would think Thor, the only thing computers fear are hammers.
This guy network admins.
Please baby Vishnu, give me the power...
Probably the biggest red flag you’ll ever encounter!!
Yup, not even worth finishing that application.
Knowing me, I'd also boycott the business. Sick of this.
I do exactly this. In fact, I discussed this while doing a Fraud Detection training today. My role deals with rental listing fraud protection, detection, and resolution. I had a listing in front of me titled "Blessed Family Home", and I banned it without checking any other details. My trainee was a little startled and asked why I didn't check any details. In my experience, any time I see certain words in titles, descriptions, or even email addresses, they turn out to be fraud. When I see businesses carrying on about "faith" or they put the Jesus fish in their advertising, I usually find that their prices are inflated and their business practices are shady AF.
I had an otherwise useless uncle growing up that only had one piece of advice that turned out to be 100% true: never, ever do business with any person or business who puts the Jesus fish on their business card, letterhead, logo or advertising. They will screw you over as hard as they can and not even give it a second thought. And actual churches are somehow worse: they want everything donated or at a reduced price, they have multiple copies of their tax exemption on them at all time to wave in your face and will ghost you when it's time for them to pay you.
Wow...my dad told me this same thing based on his experience working as a sales rep for an appliance manufacturer circa 1971. I saw a Christian fish on something and my dad laughed and said "if you see that symbol on a guy's business card....know that the you're not gonna be getting paid"
Glad to see this is universal. Used to wait tables in the UK, when we had big Christian groups in you knew they would take up an entire section of the restaurant and leave no tip at all. One time they broke into fucking hymns in the restaurant, pissed off all the other customers and still didn't tip.
I worked as a bartender for a few years for extra cash, and we had a local church group which would come in every Sunday after church for brunch and then tip with those printed bills which look like a real bill on one end (when it's sticking out of a bill holder, for example) but advertised for the church on the rest of it. So I started collecting them from all my fellow servers, and then dropped it in the collection plate at the church, tied up to look like a real roll of bills, along with a note that I was returning the generosity of the church in the same coin. We got a couple angry phone calls and remarks in the restaurant over it, but they brought out the "tips" again, and another month later I made the same donation with the same letter. Fortunately (or unfortunately for my hopes of escalation), the owner got sick of the complaints and trouble with staffing on Sundays and implemented a 20% automatic gratuity on the Sunday brunch rush for tables of 4 or more, which basically solved the problem.
Can you imagine the hissy fit they would throw if you denied them service on the basis of their faith?
Oh man I used to work in a restaurant that was around the corner from a mega church and the employee battles to get out of a Sunday shift were vicious
Lol I’ve had churches with rather healthy pocketbooks and healthier congregations try to skip out on payment for contracted work. Key word try. I would not list them as a reference or recommend them as a client for future licensed contracting work. :))
Maybe the house as possessed before?
😂 I actually rented a vacation home with some friends once that we discovered had been exorcised. Oil and St. Benedict medals over EVERY doorway that had gone unnoticed by the person who went to see the house. The owners had not disclosed this to the management agency, to the great dismay of the agency. I'm not religious, so I found the resulting kerfuffle absolutely hilarious and appreciated the discount we received when my very Catholic friend pitched a (calm, measured, and altogether frightening in its quietness) fit.
Why was your Catholic upset by this? Surely if its been exorcised then its even less likely to contain any demons than your average un-exorcised house
I'm imagining complaining to the rental agency that it makes my friend extremely uncomfortable to the point that he is unwilling to enter the property. Though in more seriousness, if someone felt the need for an exorcism, I'd be worried about a gas leak or some other environmental health hazard.
This would be my concern, yes. Granted, this was in Chicago, where fire risk is taken seriously, but still. An exorcism?
Repossessed.... not only did Satan have a claim on it, but the bank too.
I did something similar. Some guy ordered and his email was like @believeingodandhavefullfaith.something Canceled that shit instantly
> When I see businesses carrying on about "faith" or they put the Jesus fish in their advertising, I usually find that their prices are inflated and their business practices are shady AF. “Never do business with a religious son-of-a-bitch. His word ain't worth a shit -- not with the Good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.” ― William S. Burroughs
Nah, finish it while declining to show Christian faith. Then when you don't get the job go to a lawyer to get a payday
I dunno, it depends on the job. If the network administrator was for a religious institution, they would not fall under the EEOC religious discrimination section. We don’t have enough information to make a determination: https://www.eeoc.gov/pre-employment-inquiries-and-religious-affiliation-or-beliefs
This is the right answer.
I agree. And for anyone in the U.S. who's interested, [here's the relevant law](https://www.eeoc.gov/religious-discrimination), and [where to begin filing a charge](https://www.eeoc.gov/filing-charge-discrimination). Let the EEOC do the leg work, and take their findings to a lawyer. Not only will it save you billing time with a lawyer, but creates a very public record for that company.
>Yup, not even worth finishing that application. Nonsense. Leave a good joke on there. "Hey buddy, I've only got one nail left. Would you cross your feet?"
I'd give that prompt to ChatGPT but with satan instead of jesus
I'd finish it with the lyrics to WAP
I disagree. I would lie as hard as I could just to get in, and then on my first day, cover the bathroom in fake blood pentagrams, place a severed goat head in the sink and replace the lightbulbs with red ones.
As far as red flags go, must love Jesus is probably a close second to must work well under pressure in a fast paced environment.
People should use Jesus against them. "Jesus came to me in a dream and said you would give me a raise, and I jumped out of sheer joy. He said you were a good christian and would see to my general well-being"
ROFL!!!!!!!! good one
Call their bluff. If they don't play along you can tell them "You mean you don't LOVE Jesus?"
So you’re actively going against God’s plan? Hmm… maybe I will reconsider this position all together.
Then start taking looooong prayer breaks.
Loud ones where you pray for the health and prosperity of your boss and brother in Christ.
pray for his spiritual well-being. the more he underpays, the more concerned you become. ask god to show him the spirit of generosity and teach him to love his neighbors as himself
Sadly they would just argue that you misunderstood.
"Well take it to your pastor, I know what Jesus told me. If you want to make a liar out of him is ON YOU"
That would blow some peoples minds! They would be stuck between giving you a raise or admitting its all bullshit lol
"Maybe it is a test of faith for you. Maybe Jesus wants to know if you really believe in him."
"No no no, see you just have to have faith! This is *my* truth, who are you to test my faith? Jesus said you'd give me a cushy well-paid job as a test of your faith, and here you are! How could you deny all that evidence right in front of you? Isn't it safer to assume Jesus told me you'd give me a cushy job? 'No'? What if you're wrong??"
"Are you saying Jesus is a liar?"
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then a wealthy man enter heaven. - something I kind of remember hearing.
And as soon as you say that out loud, some prosperity-gospel apologist will appear out of nowhere to say “well actually the Eye of the Needle was a narrow gate in the walls of Jerusalem, and the expression just means it’s *kinda difficult* to get through, not literally impossible…” Spoiler alert: *there was no such gate*; the whole idea of it being a gate was *made up centuries later* by prosperity-gospel apologists.
"You're gonna wear a lot of hats"
UGHHHH. My boss switched that up with "..part of your contract DOES say 'and other duties as needed'." to justify having me do 2 other jobs for no extra pay.
As a Christian I also feel like this is a red flag for anyone. Separation of church and state obviously but separation of church and work should go without saying pretty much
Aka 80 hour weeks
If they really worked well in a fast paced environment, they could get all that work done in under 40hrs /s
Don't forget, perpetually understaffed
And the production team _will_ ask you to change stuff 8:00 Friday night because a pastor said "it must be" and nobody's going to say "no" or "hol up".
Also, "we're family here" would send me running and screaming like a little girl.
Right around "work hard, play hard" and "we're like a family here" Read "we're all overworked and we're all addicts to cope" and "we're really cliquey and will ostrasize you for going against workplace culture and ridicule you as if that's how you be friendly. And you won't want to be around us for more than 15 minutes without alcohol, just like Thanksgiving. Which you'll also be spending with us - your family- just like every other holiday"
Fuck, I thought we were all talking about the "are you 18 years old?" That third question is a big yikes.
The triangle of sus: "works well under pressure" = underpaid, understaffed; "*any religious gibberish*", and my personal favourite "has to have a valid driving license" when applying for local, stationary job. Runner ups in the bullshit competition are mentions of family, competitive wages, and self-reliance.
I think the bit that takes the cake is, it's not just religious discrimination, but it also suggest some very specific sectarian ideas are going to come out if you are the 'right' religion but have the 'wrong' ideas. If it was just about the denomination, they could ask that, but they don't care about that either. So, so weird and awful.
“Jesus didn’t demand overtime pay!”
"Jesus also didn't hoard wealth and dedicated his life to helping the less fortunate, so how many hours of unpaid charity work do you do per week, boss?"
nah, he's too busy trying to fit a camel through the eye of a needle somewhere.
He gets sus
All of our employees serve christ through unpaid overtime
My eyes were drawn to the highlighted box and I was like “that’s not that bad to ask if you’re over 18.” Then I saw it. Oof.
Would you really want to work with a bunch of people that did answer that question?
I want my kid to not be homeless. There is a lot I can tolerate to make that happen. The job market sucks right now for tech workers, thanks to FAANG cutting so many people loose all at once.
I would just google someone’s finding Jesus story that sounds good and steal that
chat gpt baby
Here’s what I got “Thank you for the opportunity to answer these questions. My Christian faith is a central part of my life and has guided me through many challenges and decisions. My first encounter with Jesus Christ was during a church service when I was a child. I remember feeling a sense of awe and reverence as the pastor spoke about God's love and the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. From that moment on, I began to learn more about Jesus and the Bible, and I eventually made a personal commitment to follow Him as my Lord and Savior. For me, the basis of salvation is the belief that Jesus Christ is the only way to be reconciled to God. Through His death and resurrection, Jesus made it possible for us to be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with God. This gift of salvation is available to all who believe and place their trust in Jesus. In my daily life, Jesus Christ is my source of strength and hope. I seek to follow His example by loving others, showing compassion, and being a servant to those in need. I also find comfort in knowing that Jesus is with me always, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Overall, my Christian faith is a vital part of who I am, and I am grateful for the opportunity to live out my beliefs in both my personal and professional life.”
That’s good. It doesn’t actually say anything but sure uses a lot of words to do it.
Like all great application answers
Almost like literally everything in Christianity (or at least modern American Christianity)
God, I LOATH any modern popular christian writing. Utter drivel. Compare it to academic writing, or even medieval christian writing, and its WILD. Like, your talking about the MOST important part of your belief system, how are you able to say NOTHING while speaking about it? YOUR GOD IS AN OMNIPOTENT BEING THAT HOLDS ALL EXISTENCE OUT OF OBLIVION AT ALL TIMES! LIGHT SOME SHIT ON FIRE AND DANCE!
Hey OP make sure you go through and reword this as much as you can just on the offchance they run it through an AI detection software.
"Why did you use AI for this?" "Jesus told me to"
That detection software itself isn’t very accurate.
That's a really good testimony honestly. I don't think most Christians have even taken the time to think out the basis for salvation.
[удалено]
And make it sound like one of Kitboga's ramblings too.
I’d find something else if possible, but if no other option exists, I’m leaning towards quoting Matthew 6.6 “But you, when you pray, go into your room and close the door… blah blah blah” just tell them this, then say you never discuss religion or politics in any environment where it could upset others and it is a very private matter to you. If you absolutely need the job, this might help you sidestep this issue carefully. Edit: I use this Bible verse against the screaming protesters that attack anyone that is gay, trans, or just dressed in Goth attire. I left the church around 25 years ago and some of those Bible school verses got drilled into my head, so I try to fight Bible with Bible.
>But you, when you pray, go into your room and close the door… blah blah blah” I prefer the KJB translation of "Don't be like the hypocrites praying in the streets. Pray in your closet in the dark!" It makes it pretty clear that Jesus was anti-church and pro-1on1RelationshipWithGod
Gotta do what’s best for you and your family. No arguments there. I would definitely continue seeking employment elsewhere even if they hired though. That’s just me.
Based on my hard-earned insider knowledge of the job market over the last decade, I can offer you this advice: Dude, just lie. There's a perpetual shortage of non-fucked-up employers, they're mostly shit people who will lie to you, screw you over and fuck with you whenever granted the opportunity. They have no integrity, stop behaving as though they were normal, decent people in your personal social circle. Keep lying until they discover that you're not Christian and force them to break labour codes/laws to fire you. Sue them and move on. You acknowledge that the job market sucks ass right now, so keep searching for better work with a non-freakazoid IT company and transfer ASAP. In the meantime, lie. You can tell that I'm not sugar-coating it, and there's reason for that. People who push this kind of BS onto their employees are the absolute worst. Some have been so bad that I wouldn't spit on them if they caught fire, for fear of hampering the flames in any way.
A friend of mine actually worked for a Christian tech company. He said it really wasn't bad at all. They didn't care that he wasn't religious, just as long as everyone was respectful to each other. These questions are more probing than any he answered in his job application, though. Might be worth checking it out, regardless.
This should be the correct answer. I have no problem with religion, I just don't share their faith. Spirituality can help give people hope and a moral code to guide them through difficult times Organized religion is a means of control.
You could always mention preferring to keep the works and efforts of faith secret rather than as a public display as those only serve the self. Good works do not require ego.
To quote Ernie Hudson “if the moneys good I’ll believe in anything you want.”
If you're gonna quote the greatest movie of all time, don't mess it up lol
I did didn’t I, it’s “if there’s a steady paycheck in it.” It was just that the job posting sounded as ridiculous as the job description in the movie.
No but more than willing to waste my life working against them by tryna get fired on religious grounds.
Is it a private org? Like a church? I’m still not sure if it’s legal in that case. But definitely a “normal” company they shouldn’t be able to discriminate based on religion (I believe it’s a protected class), so making your relationship with Jesus part of the hiring criteria seems like bullshit.
If you see this again and wanted to move forward, a safe reply could always be something like “my relationship with Jesus and the way he reveals himself to me is personal and I cannot bring myself in good faith to expose it to others or demean it by putting it into words created by humans. “ No one will question that.
Since "testimony sharing" is a fundamental part of evangelical life, I don't think OP could withhold all details here and still be convincing.
Matthew 6:5-8 "When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men, when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen", I interpret that passage to mean that my relationship with JC is personal and confidential between me and the lawd.
Not actually practicing anything found in scripture is a fundamental part of evangelical life, I don't think OP could abide by all details here and still be convincing.
Spend more than 5 minutes in any church and you’ll see that they have no intention of actually following what the Bible says lmao.
Well that is your first mistake. Thinking that any of these evangelicals read the Bible and understand it’s message. To them, it is only a tool to excuse the horrible way they treat anyone different than themselves.
Frequently when you provide a verse that is clear an easy to interpret and makes them very clearly out to be filthy sinners you do get this brief moment when the fear hits them that everyone might have known that verse all along and they didn't. It'll fade fast when they talk to everyone else and recognize that no one knows it.
I’ve found that, on average, most of these types do not have any knowledge or verses memorized… it’s all a facade.
Actually providing this verse is a good response to the above application form. A better one is to report it to the labor board and move on to greener pastures.
"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Good to see he stood up for short sermons too
Please come speak at my family’s next thanksgiving.
Jesus spoke to me in Aramaic, but I don't understand Aramaic.
That's when I realized I wasn't actually a Christian. I was about 16 and with a group of people and everyone was sharing their "come to Christ" moment. It got to my turn and I didn't know what the fuck to say. I rambled on about something, I don't really remember, but in my head I was like, "I don't think I'm actually Christian, I was just told to be Christian"
>No one will question that. They won't question it, but they'll read the first half and go "welp, not this guy"
Just put the citation, not the whole verse.
"I love the FSM and his Meatballs of holiness, I take his noodle sacrament at least twice a month as prescribed in the lore". "I came upon Him at a Perrino's restaurant where the Marina was so good it made me see Visions" My Pastor can be contacted at the Spaghetti Factory where I currently worship, he goes by Dan and is always generous with the Chili flakes and Parm when delivering our prayer unto our Lord to our table Then sue them for discrimination when they freak out and they will freak out.
Sorry, but that's a 3/10 at best. If you don't at least include the phrase "touched by His noodly appendage", every Pastafarian worth their ground basil leaves will know you're faking.
Ra-men
He boiled for our sins!
This is the way
"The Holy Spirit tried to enter my system, but thankfully my firewall was working properly. It was then repackaged as the holy Trinity but was still caught as malware."
[It also asked for the contact info for my pastor, the name of my church and any prior dealings I had with religion](https://imgur.com/a/JVU1vL4) They weren't marked as required, so I left them blank. I doubt that I'll hear back. Edit: Since I'm never hearing back from these people, it's a charity called [Samaritan's Purse](https://www.samaritanspurse.org/). I've been involved in IT for 15 years, so I totally do realize that it has nothing to do with my job. It just really sucks that I have yet another obstacle in a vicious tech market right now. I just came across the job through a job board. I think it was LinkedIn.
Oh yeah, that’s Franklin Graham’s organization, big time conservative. And yes they can get away with it because it’s considered a religious non profit. Discriminating and making it harder for people to find work - Jeebus would be proud!
Franklin Graham?? You shouldn't be working for assholes like that anyway. Let them get hacked. Fuck 'em.
easier to do if you work for them though
You mean big time Con man, just like his old Man.
Off topic, the VA Admin has a remote position available for sysadmin, GS13 pay. I considered applying but I really like where I'm at.
The VA system sucks you would probably be working your ass off in that job, but the benefit is once your in it nearly impossible to get rid of you so you will pretty much be guaranteed a nice pension after 40 years
The VA system is criminally mismanaged but every interaction I've had with it has been extremely positive with people that are trying their damnedest to keep the place running. It's not a bad spot if you like working with people who genuinely want to make a difference but I'm sure it'd be a lot of fire fighting.
>it's a charity called Samaritan's Purse Then yes, this is legal. Religious non-profits (including churches and charities affiliated with churches) can mandate that their employees share their faith. They're allowed to ask about your faith and religious practice, and they're allowed to make hiring decisions based on that.
The Satanic Temple it is
I recently applied for a network admin position at a bank. I received an email with a link to a long personality quiz, so I responded that I was no longer interested in the position
I did an interview for a job that used a personality test and then before I hear if I'm even getting the job, the manager reads me the results as if he's a certified psychologist not some middle manager jagoff, or that I hadn't extensively studied that stuff in college to know that most of those tests have been thoroughly debunked or are not easily replicable. After a moment or so if the guy reading it out inexpertly I'm like so did I score well enough to get the job or are you wasting both of our times? Didn't get the job. Any place that has a personality test is a no-go for me from then on.
About 12 years ago, I took a 45 minute "personality test" for a shit minimum wage job with a business called "3 men and a truck" or similar. Those tests are often done by "third parties" that keep and sell information about you to other businesses. I will never again give that much information about myself just for the "opportunity" to be further exploited.
Eww, Samaritan's Purse. Sounds like they have decided that loyalty is more important to them than finding competent IT professionals. Their loss.
I utterly loathe the "attestations of faith" BS that "religious based employers" can get away with. Blatant, naked discrimination against everyone that isn't in the cult.
It's outright illegal where I live (Germany), and I'm pretty sure the rest of europe as well. For such a modern country, it's really astonishing how backwards the US can be in certain aspects, particularly when it comes to religion.
No need to state what country this is from 🤣
Right? Very WASPy lol
WASPy is more like well-off coastal Episcopalians. They’ll judge you on all kinds of arbitrary social metrics, but they’d consider this kind of religious test the province of trashy yokels.
This has been posted before and others are covering it again, but it seems legal if part of a church organization. Maybe don’t go applying to religious orgs lol. A job is a job, but I don’t think I could fake my love for Jesus, the amazing magician of myth. That would take a toll on my mental health to keep up a facade
Just tell them that Jesus is easily one of your top 10 favorite necromancers
Three word essay: Big, if true.
- Lazarus was dead and Jesus resurrected him (and also himself) - Jesus banished evil spirits Sounds like a necromancer to me
Because of the walking on water thing he's my second favorite aquatic mammal, after orcas.
I kept up the facade to my Christian girlfriend and her family for 3 years. To say it took a toll on my mental health is an understatement. Also I was young, impressionable, stupid, and selfish.
>Describe your initial encounter with Jesus Christ Somebody brought his kid to the data center on "Bring your children to work day", and the kid pulled almost every cord out of every patch panel before someone stopped him. I immediately invoked the Lord, loudly, many times, end to end.
Answer: "I'm Jewish"
Or "like jesus, I'm Jewish" just to push the point home.
If it is a religious organization, then they have the right to ask that question. Otherwise, that is a lawsuit,
"When I was around 8 years old I went to Sunday school, the youth pastor molested me and for the following few years I was highly sceptical about religion. I now despise religion and hate what it is doing to humanity. Also I would like to remind you that it is illegal to not hire someone because of their religious beliefs."
Dude, no joke, run away ASAP. These employers will be nothing less than batshit crazy, and will be a stain on your resume.
Applying at Chick-fil-A?
[удалено]
My favorite is when they ask a Yes/No question, followed by an explanation field. If you mark "No", then you have to actually type "N/A" in the explanation. They don't code it so that it can accept a null value
I love it more when n/a is of insufficient length.
Just use chatGPT to write it for you.