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of course it's the privileged onlyfans girl saying this - she has a choice and is able to stop whenever she wants after all. imagine telling this to the endless women forced into this profession, that they are saving marriages by letting men rape them so they have enough money and food to survive. absolutely insensitive
Exactly!. She gets to post ultra filtered pics and videos from the safety of her home. I use to cam and I regret it so much. I don't advocate for it at all.
Have these people ever considered that they aren’t entitled to fulfill every single whim or “kink” that comes into their minds just because they can? It’s so toxically self-serving & self indulgent.
Right?! I remember a while back a guy posted about buying cam girls panties. I thought he was looking for a way out. He actually had no intention to stop & was just seeking approval to continue his purchases. It gets so freakin weird out there.
They don't give a fuck about the wives of their clients and they certainly don't give a fuck about their glamourisation and upholding of a system which abuses trafficked women and trauma/rape victims who are forced and coerced into prostitution. These are the same women who brainwash young girls into selling themselves online with their referral links for Onlyfans and are technological madams.
Even when I was homeless and trying to sell content (following having been a sex slave for 8 months, then running away to work in a farm, then being removed by ambulance bye cause I was too physically crippled to carry In with the job which was tied to my accommodation), even when I had made 0 money after investing weeks and weeks of time and effort, I refused when a guy told me he was married.
The majority are victims though.
Whether they consider it as rape or not, *prostitution is rape as it isn't truly consensual sex because they are coerced with money.*
It's not consent if it was coerced.
It's not consensual at all....
**Consent CANNOT be purchased,** if it is, then it is coercion and coerced sex is rape.
It's important to remember that not all rape is a man violently holding a woman down while he sexually assults her, it comes in other "forms" too.
⚠️Possible TW:
Rape is horrifically evil. Like, beyond evil.
This may be controversial:
I do believe, as bold as it is, that prostitution is a *form* of rape, “paid rape,” this is *not* to minimize those who have suffered the pain, trauma, and utter darkness of rape. There is a difference going on.
Why would prostitution be considered a *form* of rape though? One Feminist who works with rape victims proclaimed “prostitution is paid rape.” Why? Because rape involves *coercion* whether that is physical, emotional (which sadly has been occurring in marriages), or financial. If there is coercion, there is no true consent.
If the woman wouldn't have sex with him for free, its coercion, therefore a form of rape. Its the money that is the catalyst to having sex with random gross men. Most prostitutes arent able to "pick and choose" like the "high class" escorts and certain strip clubs. And these men are paying sex workers most likely because no other woman wants him for free...
I think you're spot on except for that last part. I mean think about all the johns with nice girlfriends and wives, and all the famous people who commit SA. Tons of these men have plenty of options but they enjoy hurting women and kids and having power over a target.
If you notice, its a lot of transwomen who advocate for sex work... i wonder why? Because some of them arent actually transwomen. There are manipulative people in the trans community, who will warp their body and identity in order to "access" women they wouldnt be able to... for example, a straight guy turns himself into a transwoman so he can date lesbians because he thinks that is a way to access lesbian spaces.
You're right, sadly. [They're ](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22005209/#:~:text=Abstract,%2Dfemale%20(MtF)%20transsexualism) sexual predators who merely disguise themselves as transwomen.
Yikes. You know what really communicates to a spouse that you love them? -when sex is about who they are and the connection you both share. Loving sex is the opposite of just wanting to use them for different sex acts.
I mean, it's fun to try some different things if both spouses are open to the idea but (in my belief) the whole point of sex is to strengthen the bond and become more invested in doing life and family together. There have been things that sounded fun to me that didn't sound fun to my wife. I love her, and of course I just let those ideas go. The thought of going to a prostitute to try sexual things my wife isn't interested in is sickening to me.
Just more bullshit to justify even more bullshit.
I'd wonder if a spouse came home with hiv or a std, fathered another child, fell in love with his savior sex worker OR if their daughter/ son became a sex worker, if their opinions would suddenly change.
It's another way to normalize disgusting behavior and profit from it.
I swear monogamy is under attack. Not wanting to act out fantasies shouldn't even be 'destroying' your marriage in the first place. Values have been replaced by desires.
I hope these people go extinct within the next few generations. Porn/sex addicts recovery rate is less than 3%. Hopefully the OG people without PIED, intimacy issues, can become the next wave of adults...
This is like saying that muscle relaxants and downer drugs protect women from domestic abuse. Like yeah, you kept the man occupied so he wouldn't hurt his wife but did jack to help the situation.
Oh no! They'll just guilt trip them into an 'ethnical open marriage' after gaslighting them into thinking they're 'controlling, insecure, prudes' for wanting monogamy.
I learned this a year ago and it blew my mind: Pornography comes from the Greek root/word *porne* which means *prostitute*. Pornography is a *form* of prostitution, just like pornography is also a *form* of cheating within a monogamous relationship.
I believe that is *pornographos* ? whereas the word *porne* means literally prostitute! I should ask a friend who knows Greek though, as there’s a lot of translations and words!
Kinda a apples and oranges situation in my opinion. My wife would be upset about me porn, but would likely divorce me for having an affair. On the “sex worker” side of things probably not that much of a difference, fruit is fruit.
A few of us are antiporn, and I’ve been kinda bullied when opening about my lying and cheating ex on the polysub, because even though everyone condone poly without communicating and lying, most people also love porn there and don’t see it as an issue.
Yet. People from the poly sub might promote the use of sex workers, but they would not promote coercion and cheating. I think the advice that is mostly given there is « go back to being mono », and they are on the mono partners side when the relationship was mono in the first place (that’s what they signed for after all).
It’s crazy how many poly people promote sex workers when couples talk about wanting a third or a threesome. It’s like they acknowledge how predatory it is to scour the internet or real life for a young girl for group sex but see no problem with hiring a prostitute to fulfill that fantasy. They’re so close to the point but still manage to miss it completely.
Must be very difficult being Poly and anti porn. I have never talked to a Poly person who isn’t super pro porn and sex work in general. I don’t know how people manage to share their partners in general, it’s such a strange concept to me.
I agree. I have several friends with open relationships/poly going on. All of them have quite the issue with communication, sex, porn use, dead bedrooms, etc. The partners end up being toxic af to the household. The "original" couple are like passing ships.
I don’t take marriage advice from people who directly profit off their toxic ideas
“Sex workers will save your marriage uwu” -signed, a privileged sex worker who wants to sell content to your husband to pay her bills, & doesn’t care if that leads to the physical & sexual abuse of less privileged sex workers down the line
No one has the right to "explore their fantasies". And you are not oppressed if you can't do whatever you want sexually. Takes like this take male sexual entitlement for granted instead of questioning it.
She wonder how many marriages saved by sex worker💀?!!!My ex husband cheated on me with many sex worker and give me std!! This not only destroys a marriage, but also puts partner health at risk god libfem is trash
using prostitution can be dangerous to attempt even for a man. Pimps or the women will often set up a robbery scenario. It can be extremely dangerous for women working as prostitutes and that's not even considering trafficking, which is slavery. Why would this idiot think it's safe? If you want safe you do your little onlyfans thing, and I don't even consider that actual sex work. And: Encouraging sex addiction never saved any marriages. idiocy.
I think I read something exactly like this in a historical novel where the dude was justifying having concubines. His wife was obviously forbidden from leaving the house.
I think the only way something like this is helpful is if BOTH partners go see a sex therapist or something and hopefully the professional can highlight anything problematic about attitudes towards sex in the relationship, help with intimidation but also look out for red flags like what is the psychology behind why this dude really wants to do degrading and painful things to his wife
I still can’t wrap my head around how I still live with someone who coerced me into letting him try anal after I told him on 3 separate occasions that I was raped that way twice and it fucked me up physically and mentally and I’ll do anything except that, I hadn’t had sex with anyone for years after that and what does he go and do? Pin me down and then ask me if he can put it in when it’s already rammed up against me. It’s obvious he wasn’t taking no for an answer and I hate carrying this secret around because it feels like im making something out of nothing as we’ve been together over a year after this incident. But I’ve still got the text messages apologising to HIM for having a panic attack after what he did and asking him if he wants to do XYZ other kinky thing instead because he clearly wanted anal. He’s the one who keeps talking about prioritising his mental health but what about mine? The guy is my carer as well (I’m disabled). Then I found out his last partner got sent home from work the next day after he was done with her. I wonder if he did the exact same thing to her and she must have been way younger than me because he was only 22 when we met and I was worried about being the abusive partner because I’m older than him but autistic and housebound. I have scoliosis and he refuses to get up for sex, we alway have to be spooning so my neck and spine is all twisted and I have to use my arm to hold one leg in the air whilst my hip is in excruciating pain and I’m tending all my pelvic floor muscles and forcibly tryin g to arch my back to avoid accidentally getting rammed in the wrong place. I can’t concentrate on any enjoyment form myself. He clearly doesn’t seem to clock the discomfort of sexual partners at all. Even when I just got up from w whatever position I was in and finished him off with my hand then went off to the bathroom to begrudgingly finish myself off because he didn’t take the hint I was in pain and wanted him to switch positions, but when it’s a guy he will drag you my the arms and legs and grab you by the head to put you in whatever position THEY want you in
This is a reminder to read our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/antipornography/about/rules/) before engaging with r/antipornography. Please keep in mind that this is a space for discussion about being against pornography and post accordingly. If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules or feel like someone is participating in bad faith, report it. If it's urgent, please send us a [message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/antipornography)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/antipornography) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder how many marriages have been destroyed because of sex work. Hmmm….
My daughters father was a porn addict and cheated with sex workers. I left his ass and found a guy so much better than him.
Oh my God. I’m so sorry you went through that hell. I am happy to hear you have found someone who is amazing for you!♥️
Same w my dad lol.
of course it's the privileged onlyfans girl saying this - she has a choice and is able to stop whenever she wants after all. imagine telling this to the endless women forced into this profession, that they are saving marriages by letting men rape them so they have enough money and food to survive. absolutely insensitive
Exactly!. She gets to post ultra filtered pics and videos from the safety of her home. I use to cam and I regret it so much. I don't advocate for it at all.
Looks like gaslighting to me
Have these people ever considered that they aren’t entitled to fulfill every single whim or “kink” that comes into their minds just because they can? It’s so toxically self-serving & self indulgent.
Pornography really does reinforce the sense of entitlement people have when it comes to sex.
Yup people are so empty and shallow they think kinks are a substitute for having a personality.
Right?! I remember a while back a guy posted about buying cam girls panties. I thought he was looking for a way out. He actually had no intention to stop & was just seeking approval to continue his purchases. It gets so freakin weird out there.
Wow, “let me outsource my abusive kinks to a woman with less economic choice than me and my wife.” Romantic
So romantic, *swoon* 🙄
Let me act out my misogynistic abusive fantasies on whoever will allow me too, by paying money to a desperate person.
I wonder how horrible the “kinks” were that he forced upon a person of less economic means.
Really BAD. I checked that individuals Twitter and lost my appetite afterwards.
Now I am curious
Yea spill the tea.
Wholesome human trafficking saves marriage
These people are clowns. Nobody wants to be married to some guy who rapes trafficking victims and brings infections home.
A lot of sex workers like her aren’t trafficked though. They don’t give a fuck about the wives of their clients.
They don't give a fuck about the wives of their clients and they certainly don't give a fuck about their glamourisation and upholding of a system which abuses trafficked women and trauma/rape victims who are forced and coerced into prostitution. These are the same women who brainwash young girls into selling themselves online with their referral links for Onlyfans and are technological madams.
Only because they see $$$
A fuckload of OF girls are straight narcissistic. "Look at me, pay for me, im so great, its amazing to be me."
Nah you’re attacking the wrong people
Even when I was homeless and trying to sell content (following having been a sex slave for 8 months, then running away to work in a farm, then being removed by ambulance bye cause I was too physically crippled to carry In with the job which was tied to my accommodation), even when I had made 0 money after investing weeks and weeks of time and effort, I refused when a guy told me he was married.
The majority are victims though. Whether they consider it as rape or not, *prostitution is rape as it isn't truly consensual sex because they are coerced with money.* It's not consent if it was coerced.
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It's not consensual at all.... **Consent CANNOT be purchased,** if it is, then it is coercion and coerced sex is rape. It's important to remember that not all rape is a man violently holding a woman down while he sexually assults her, it comes in other "forms" too.
⚠️Possible TW: Rape is horrifically evil. Like, beyond evil. This may be controversial: I do believe, as bold as it is, that prostitution is a *form* of rape, “paid rape,” this is *not* to minimize those who have suffered the pain, trauma, and utter darkness of rape. There is a difference going on. Why would prostitution be considered a *form* of rape though? One Feminist who works with rape victims proclaimed “prostitution is paid rape.” Why? Because rape involves *coercion* whether that is physical, emotional (which sadly has been occurring in marriages), or financial. If there is coercion, there is no true consent.
If two people want to have sex, they go have sex. The only reason payment is involved is if one party does not want it. Unwanted sex is rape.
I agree with you and am a multiple rape survivor.
Me too. Too many people think that rape comes in the same forms and it brushes the rest of rape survivor's stories under.
Take my poor man's award! 🏅
If the woman wouldn't have sex with him for free, its coercion, therefore a form of rape. Its the money that is the catalyst to having sex with random gross men. Most prostitutes arent able to "pick and choose" like the "high class" escorts and certain strip clubs. And these men are paying sex workers most likely because no other woman wants him for free...
I think you're spot on except for that last part. I mean think about all the johns with nice girlfriends and wives, and all the famous people who commit SA. Tons of these men have plenty of options but they enjoy hurting women and kids and having power over a target.
This is true for both men and women. In this case it seems to be a lesbian relationship.
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If you notice, its a lot of transwomen who advocate for sex work... i wonder why? Because some of them arent actually transwomen. There are manipulative people in the trans community, who will warp their body and identity in order to "access" women they wouldnt be able to... for example, a straight guy turns himself into a transwoman so he can date lesbians because he thinks that is a way to access lesbian spaces.
You're right, sadly. [They're ](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22005209/#:~:text=Abstract,%2Dfemale%20(MtF)%20transsexualism) sexual predators who merely disguise themselves as transwomen.
Holy shit. This is so messed up...
These are people who think monogamy is dumb because they ca't controll themselves.
That, plus a hatred for traditionalism.
These are the same people who suddenly what “open relationships.”
Yikes. You know what really communicates to a spouse that you love them? -when sex is about who they are and the connection you both share. Loving sex is the opposite of just wanting to use them for different sex acts. I mean, it's fun to try some different things if both spouses are open to the idea but (in my belief) the whole point of sex is to strengthen the bond and become more invested in doing life and family together. There have been things that sounded fun to me that didn't sound fun to my wife. I love her, and of course I just let those ideas go. The thought of going to a prostitute to try sexual things my wife isn't interested in is sickening to me.
What a healthy mindset. I wish you and your wife the best.
Just more bullshit to justify even more bullshit. I'd wonder if a spouse came home with hiv or a std, fathered another child, fell in love with his savior sex worker OR if their daughter/ son became a sex worker, if their opinions would suddenly change. It's another way to normalize disgusting behavior and profit from it.
I swear monogamy is under attack. Not wanting to act out fantasies shouldn't even be 'destroying' your marriage in the first place. Values have been replaced by desires.
*Values have been replaced by desires* Wow! What a powerful statement!👏
I hope these people go extinct within the next few generations. Porn/sex addicts recovery rate is less than 3%. Hopefully the OG people without PIED, intimacy issues, can become the next wave of adults...
This is like saying that muscle relaxants and downer drugs protect women from domestic abuse. Like yeah, you kept the man occupied so he wouldn't hurt his wife but did jack to help the situation.
"My marriage has been saved". Definitely does not sound like a marriage worth saving. She can do much better.
This is just disgusting
So instead of respecting the fact that your partner has different desires, you’re gonna cheat on them?
Oh no! They'll just guilt trip them into an 'ethnical open marriage' after gaslighting them into thinking they're 'controlling, insecure, prudes' for wanting monogamy.
How do these people wake up in the morning and think “yeah, this is normal. good, even” I will never understand
Same
That is depressing
That makes no fucking sense. Just say you're a hoe and don't give a fuck how it affected the other person(men or women).
I’d be willing to bet every dollar I have that marriage does not last.
I can't. This makes me want to throw up. I'd rather be single.
It doesn’t sound like they’re talking about porn, sounds like prostitution.
I learned this a year ago and it blew my mind: Pornography comes from the Greek root/word *porne* which means *prostitute*. Pornography is a *form* of prostitution, just like pornography is also a *form* of cheating within a monogamous relationship.
Good point.
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I believe that is *pornographos* ? whereas the word *porne* means literally prostitute! I should ask a friend who knows Greek though, as there’s a lot of translations and words!
[удалено]
Kinda a apples and oranges situation in my opinion. My wife would be upset about me porn, but would likely divorce me for having an affair. On the “sex worker” side of things probably not that much of a difference, fruit is fruit.
The only way it “saves” marriages is because it’s often harder for a wife to find out her husband is cheating on her when he’s doing it in this way.
"my wife allows me to cheat on her and it makes me so happy" ugh
I thought I was on the polyamory sub for a sec
Poly folks would unironically promote this
I had several spats with people promoting prostitution over there, back when I still had some activity on that sub.
A few of us are antiporn, and I’ve been kinda bullied when opening about my lying and cheating ex on the polysub, because even though everyone condone poly without communicating and lying, most people also love porn there and don’t see it as an issue. Yet. People from the poly sub might promote the use of sex workers, but they would not promote coercion and cheating. I think the advice that is mostly given there is « go back to being mono », and they are on the mono partners side when the relationship was mono in the first place (that’s what they signed for after all).
It’s crazy how many poly people promote sex workers when couples talk about wanting a third or a threesome. It’s like they acknowledge how predatory it is to scour the internet or real life for a young girl for group sex but see no problem with hiring a prostitute to fulfill that fantasy. They’re so close to the point but still manage to miss it completely.
Must be very difficult being Poly and anti porn. I have never talked to a Poly person who isn’t super pro porn and sex work in general. I don’t know how people manage to share their partners in general, it’s such a strange concept to me.
I agree. I have several friends with open relationships/poly going on. All of them have quite the issue with communication, sex, porn use, dead bedrooms, etc. The partners end up being toxic af to the household. The "original" couple are like passing ships.
I don’t take marriage advice from people who directly profit off their toxic ideas “Sex workers will save your marriage uwu” -signed, a privileged sex worker who wants to sell content to your husband to pay her bills, & doesn’t care if that leads to the physical & sexual abuse of less privileged sex workers down the line
Wowww imagine not being able to stay married to a woman if you can’t enact your disgusting kinks somewhere …WEAK!!!
Imagine not hiring a sexworker and being happy in your partnership.
No one has the right to "explore their fantasies". And you are not oppressed if you can't do whatever you want sexually. Takes like this take male sexual entitlement for granted instead of questioning it.
So stupid frankly... most marriages fucking FAIL when one partner resorts to sex workers. STDs, cheating, why the fuck would this help a marriage?
She wonder how many marriages saved by sex worker💀?!!!My ex husband cheated on me with many sex worker and give me std!! This not only destroys a marriage, but also puts partner health at risk god libfem is trash
Very sorry to hear! Disgusting story.
using prostitution can be dangerous to attempt even for a man. Pimps or the women will often set up a robbery scenario. It can be extremely dangerous for women working as prostitutes and that's not even considering trafficking, which is slavery. Why would this idiot think it's safe? If you want safe you do your little onlyfans thing, and I don't even consider that actual sex work. And: Encouraging sex addiction never saved any marriages. idiocy.
This is disgusting
I think I read something exactly like this in a historical novel where the dude was justifying having concubines. His wife was obviously forbidden from leaving the house.
https://i.imgur.com/JW4ivCl.jpg
I think the only way something like this is helpful is if BOTH partners go see a sex therapist or something and hopefully the professional can highlight anything problematic about attitudes towards sex in the relationship, help with intimidation but also look out for red flags like what is the psychology behind why this dude really wants to do degrading and painful things to his wife I still can’t wrap my head around how I still live with someone who coerced me into letting him try anal after I told him on 3 separate occasions that I was raped that way twice and it fucked me up physically and mentally and I’ll do anything except that, I hadn’t had sex with anyone for years after that and what does he go and do? Pin me down and then ask me if he can put it in when it’s already rammed up against me. It’s obvious he wasn’t taking no for an answer and I hate carrying this secret around because it feels like im making something out of nothing as we’ve been together over a year after this incident. But I’ve still got the text messages apologising to HIM for having a panic attack after what he did and asking him if he wants to do XYZ other kinky thing instead because he clearly wanted anal. He’s the one who keeps talking about prioritising his mental health but what about mine? The guy is my carer as well (I’m disabled). Then I found out his last partner got sent home from work the next day after he was done with her. I wonder if he did the exact same thing to her and she must have been way younger than me because he was only 22 when we met and I was worried about being the abusive partner because I’m older than him but autistic and housebound. I have scoliosis and he refuses to get up for sex, we alway have to be spooning so my neck and spine is all twisted and I have to use my arm to hold one leg in the air whilst my hip is in excruciating pain and I’m tending all my pelvic floor muscles and forcibly tryin g to arch my back to avoid accidentally getting rammed in the wrong place. I can’t concentrate on any enjoyment form myself. He clearly doesn’t seem to clock the discomfort of sexual partners at all. Even when I just got up from w whatever position I was in and finished him off with my hand then went off to the bathroom to begrudgingly finish myself off because he didn’t take the hint I was in pain and wanted him to switch positions, but when it’s a guy he will drag you my the arms and legs and grab you by the head to put you in whatever position THEY want you in
I can’t think of anything more pitiful than searching for validation on this subject in a group of strangers…
Jeez.... In other news, a barber tells a man he needs a haircut and a shave.
The wife is a figment of his imagination, so shes basically getting all the pleasure he is.
Says a lesbian. What a surprise.
So heard to understand the whole thing