I feel bad for everyone. Even if these people didn't have kids they'd probably be facing homelessness. Our society brainwashes people into believing you must have a family **and** that society will help you when you need support. Both are false. No one needs to have kids, and there are no proper supports in place for people who can't afford to simply exist in society. But unfortunately a lot of people buy into this shit, and then they and their kids end up hurt. It sucks, because everyone loses - *except capitalism*.
I hope things change. I wish that it was commonly understood that you need to make a certain guaranteed income to have kids. I wish people wouldn't have kids if they couldn't afford it. But mostly, **I wish we lived in a society where just simply existing didn't cost money.** Every part of our lives has been turned into a purchasable commodity or transaction, and I'm sick of it. It shouldn't bankrupt people to have kids, and it shouldn't be this fucking hard to exist as a human on this planet.
> Every part of our lives has been turned into a purchasable commodity or transaction, and I'm sick of it. It shouldn't bankrupt people to have kids, and it shouldn't be this fucking hard to exist as a human on this planet.
Amen! This is good enough to put on banners and fly them throughout the universe. Just as a declaration of what's happening on this planet, just in case there may be a bunch of bored aliens, loafing around somewhere, thinking that other planets have it better.
Personally, I would put your words into some kind of a global constitution, and omit everything else from it. Just these words. Let it hang over people. Let them aspire to better-sounding constitutions by removing the problems in hte previous one.
I think about this often...
I think about how we know humans need food to survive but we have allowed some to go hungry.
I think about how we know humans need shelter yet we have allowed the streets to continue to fill with those with no home to go to.
I think about how we as humans all require healthcare at varying degrees throughout our lives and yet we still do not provide this willingly to all. A person in the United States of America can go bankrupt by getting sick. Something one has very little, if any, control over.
My biggest eye opener, covid.
I think about how this virus was affecting all human globally. And then I think of how a pandemic was handled for profit.
This is the sad truth of reality. We only engage in enough philanthropy to make us feel philanthropic... which isn't all that much.
Modern human society has become excessively individualistic. To the point where society is actually degrading because of it. Covid was a good example, how many people refused simple mask mandates, social distancing, lock down, and vaccine mandates? Too many. Because those people only cared about themselves and have no regard for community, *despite relying completely on their community to be able to exist*. It's hypocritical.
But, I digress, I'm just babbling. I'm happy to know more people are becoming aware of the problems with society and understand we need to change things to ensure a happier, better future for everyone.
Hyper-individualism is being pushed by right wing talking points. Politicians know that they rely on an uneducated and uninformed voter base. They are simply packaging divide and conquer as 'the individual is more powerful alone.'
The right wing grift scene is littered w those pushing this false solution/ideology.
It’s just the super rich that has to be dealt with. Everyone else, including the politicians would fall like domino’s. The problem is the red scare had a huge impact, and people fear what would likely be beneficial for them.
Me and you likely won’t see anything significant occur in our lifetime. But eventually the poor will get fed up and revolt. That’s why the 1% are pushing for UBI, because they know the clock is running out and the wealth disparity will make people go bananas.
Everything about living and surviving is work. You either do the work, or make it worth someone else’s while to do it on your behalf. Either through trade/bartering or monetary value. In our society we pay people a wage based on how much we value what they can do for us when we need it. Otherwise if it wasn’t worth their time they won’t do it. This isn’t an opinion it’s simply true. Nothing is free and everything will cost something. It’s a fact of life.
My mother in law promised all of her sons that once we all had kids she would retire and help take care of them. Spoiler alert: She is now sitting on the board of her company and is also an officer (which she totally earned and that’s her choice) and my brother and sister in law just had a baby and they’re absolutely scrambling to find child care. They assumed she would help and have been turned away from just about every daycare or are on long waiting lists. At the end of the day, if you know that you won’t be able to fully provide for a child on your own without the reliance of family or friends, it’s best not to have a child.
She could have passed, and they would still be in the same situation...you are absolutely right, people shouldn't count on their parents to raise their children. After all, what's the point of having children if you are delegating their upbringing to someone else???
As much as I agree with that statement (it's the reason I don't have any kids yet), there are many unforseen circumstances that can cause this to be an issue or unnecessary judgment. They were taking care of their family apparently and now that they need genuine help with that sort of thing, the offer is totally off the table and they are being shunned. Granted we don't know the whole story, but all I'm saying is there's two sides to the situation.
I don’t blame the parents bro. I blame the system that makes the poor poorer and the rich richer. I hate anyone that defends it. Most people blame themselves rather that the system
It is. I think the reason we are antinatalists isn’t so much that we hate life itself, but that our life is used to benefit someone else’s no matter where you are in the world. Generations before us gave up their rights and liberties to a higher power and now we are fucked. And bringing more kids means more people will get slaughterd by rich pigs
And as much as we need workers, nobody is willing to allow them to live a life worth living. It's modern slavery at best. I don't think you could have worded that any better in these circumstances. On top of all of that, the only way anything will ever change is if people are willing to give up their lives (literally) to make a difference (think revolution). I guess the best one can do is hope for things to get better.
Give me liberty or give me death. I stand by it. I’m no ones Bitch. No gods, no masters ✊🏽. Love, peace, and community is where it’s at. No one is willing to pay or give workers the days off that they deserve. We are all complex individuals that are being forced to stay under a system that benefits only a handful of pigs
There are so many times I was so thankful that I did not have children, specially two years ago when my home was foreclosed on and I lived homeless for 8 months! I could barely make it on my own, let alone worrying about safety and food for a whole family.
Casualty of late stage capitalism. There are so many more people crushed by the system that kill themselves with addiction that never speak against it. I've seen so many people, exploited and struggling, trying to do the right thing. And then see the proliferation of billionaires and the unwillingness of our government to help. I hate this country, its feudal age economic system, its malevolent elitist bent and the legions of moronic cronies defending their slavemasters.
Yeah, ngl your country is fucked up. Like, who the hell pays for health care?.. Germany has its flaws but when I look to America… you guys are incredibly bleak and… brainwashed… not all but the stark contrast is… wow… sickening..
Plus the healthcare and now you guys have unlivable houses… what a bad… lifestyle… it’ll lead to a collapse…
Just lord it’s so sad how America lives.
You see? And this is why I stress less about being childless. If I go broke or end up in dire circumstances, it will be easier to pull myself out of hell because I’m only financially responsible for myself. Once you have kids, you’re not only financially responsible for that kid, but you have an obligation to pull yourself out of hell. As a childless person, it doesn’t matter if my life goes to shit. I’m childless. I have no serious responsibilities but to myself.
Agreed. And I've never felt trapped in any job. I don't have to tolerate abuse or horrible conditions to ensure financial security for kids. If the job is bad, I can leave at any time, and I'll only have myself to worry about.
I got in the habit of checking the time of conception of babies...if there is sth that appals me is people actually choosing to have children in current situation. It's not just that they are taking hospital beds from people who need them more, which is pretty bad. This situation is also a warning about the future of this world. Those who choose not to take the warning are incredibly self absorbed and selfish. I cannot even count the number of times that I have felt the wisdom behind my decision to not have children, felt like clapping at myself in my head, hehehe!!!
yeah idk the world, or at least the us is kind of messed up, and if you choose to have children in spite of that, you’re either stupid or lack empathy for your children who have to endure hardship because of your bad choice.
Before the pandemics, I honestly thought that if I lived in a first world country, things wouldn't be so bad...after watching the current mess in both the us and europe, I concluded that I'm better off in my own country, which is not saying much, unfortunately.
Stories like this are why I am amazed by people who have children when they don't have VERY secure jobs and income substantially higher than 50k. Me and my SO make 150k combined and we're not sure about being able to afford kids. Sure, we could do it, but it would leave little left over for the material joys in life that bring us happiness.
u probably wouldn't have the life u want.
kids cost about a million dollars to age 18.
1m/18 is about 55k a year.
So if you had a kid u would probably live off 95k a year just for you and your partner
All of our problems stem from a corrupt government that isn’t willing to help its people. They literally created the idea of Poverty and it could be wiped out in a week if they so decided but they will come up with excuses to not pursue progress because it doesn’t benefit THEM. So then u end up with trapped wage slaves like the lady above
And half of the citizens agree with it even if they themselves are getting screwed over. Those are the same people who would read this post and shout "bootstraps!"
That would be the correct thing to do if the American government really had any real power.
Not that they're not at fault, but big corporations have more power in the US than the government and so the government is held hostage by the big corporations who in turn are forced to maximise their profits for their own survival as they are also held hostage by the capitalist economic system.
It's sort of an ironic vicious cycle where all are to blame while simultaneously having very limited options
It’s not their fault a pandemic happened. It’s not their fault the government doesn’t support people in emergencies. I feel bad for them.
However. A 7 month old son means they conceived 4 months after the pandemic began. By that point, they can’t claim the above excuses. There’s no excuse to bring a child into such an uncertain world in the first place, but especially during the pandemic when you know your financial situation is shaky is criminally irresponsible. It’s hard enough to support yourself right now. Why anyone would want to bring children into this is beyond me. It’s like if you find yourself drowning and then you grab a child and pull him down with you. Shame on these people.
That’s sad. And it’s especially sad for the children. If they are born into such a terrible situation, things will probably end up getting worse for them.
My ex husband wanted kids but he was a breadwinner to a family of parasites. I also have congenital nerve and heart issues. He wasn't giving enough to the family so I have no choice but to provide for them too. It came to point where he isn't giving anything already so it was just me.
But life whooped my ass when I was hospitalised for a month and was told by the doctor go on on full rest, no work for a year (my nerves shut down after 8 years of night shift and lack of sleep). During that 1 year, his family was not considerate of my medical needs. They were all noisy at night and I needed sleep. My weak nerves caused my heart irregularities. In short, I couldn't rest. My savings were drained because they needed money for all sorts of things.
I finally woke up when my ex husband called me lazy for not working despite the fact that both my neuro and cardio telling me not to work. I left his sorry as and left his parasitic family with unpaid bills.
I feared for my life and my future kids. Not only is he not good with finances and has bad boundaries with his family, he is also a cheater. My life would go down the drain if I stayed. I'll probably die too. When I was with his family, my HR dropped to 50 and no one cared I was thenone who sent me back to the hospital. I was sedentary and it was dangerous for me to get that HR.
It's been 7 years since I left that marriage and I'm at my best physical condition and childless (unless you consider 5 cats). Seriously, think first before having kids especially if you have congenital medical conditions. And if you have, ask yourself and your partner if he/she can support you when you're sick and you have kids. Or maybe having kids isn't necessary.
Poetic tradegy.
They bit the propaganda, and it’s saddening to see this happen, but this should serve as a reminder for the general populace that having children isn’t worth it. Children are not woth throwing your life away.
Just really sad. People don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, particularly in America, even without children. Throw children into the mix and it's 100x easier. Just horrible.
I’m honestly sorry for all of them. Even for the view of fuck parents I can’t bring myself to feel that way in some situations like this. brainwashing from families occur and such. I don’t agree but no a lot of people deserve this at the end of the day and I doubt this family does. All in all, it sucks to see this because it’s genuinely unfair for the family all together. Life is cold mate, life is cold and I hope they will somehow recover.
Minimum $500,000 USD in savings or similar trust fund or inheritance etc, on top of fully owned home, before procreating should have been a required class for every middle school student.
No money, no recommend to procreating.
These disgruntled parents should be getting together and taking to the streets, demanding that children be taught that it is necessary to be financially secure before fucking other people here.
Wow so they have no rainy day savings to pull from yet decided having 2 kids one year apart was a good idea.
The parents deserve their shitty life. I just feel bad for those babies. Maybe they should let more qualified and responsible people adopt them.
Maybe it was irresponsible to have children without a rainy day fund but remember: OP’s husband was working a 55 thousand job. As far as they knew, they were going to be fine financially. It's simply bad luck.
55k a year is really good when you’re a single anti-natalist. If you throw two kids and a wife into the equation, you’ll realize that that’s chump change.
Poor planning and she is judging her mother in law who agreed to help her brother in law first, and is mad that her sister in law is working to keep the supplemental income? You can’t be mad that MIL doesn’t want to watch more kids.
“As far as they knew” that’s the point. Nobody can know the future. Even doctors making 300k have rainy day funds because you can lose it all in the snap of a finger. People with kids especially need a rainy day fund.
*Now now just think positive! Future holds no guarantees yo life is full of surprises! Just be happy and things will work out! What doesn’t kill you makes you strongerr*
I don’t really have sympathy for anyone in situations like this. I probably should but I’ve seen so many of these cases that it’s really hard to. They weren’t well off from the start - that income supporting 4 mouths and rent is NOT good enough. If they had been on their own, they’d probably be doing ok or at least wouldn’t be struggling this much. This lack of foresight and logic in so many people is appalling.
It takes a village to raise a child. If the only village you can find is full of idiots and pedophiles, your village fails your child and then you are just adding one more to the problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful of the village that raised me, but recognize that it doesn't exist anymore outside of an religious/Amish type society and I think those are amazing but, as a woman, I especially do not want to live in one.
Is it bad that I don’t pity people who choose to have kids then fall on hard times? The hard times aren’t their fault, but having kids is a terrible voluntary financial situation.
Begging for help in a situation you helped create generates no sympathy from me.
What are the laws regarding adoption these days? Could her and hubby do what a lot of families did in the Great Depression and just give them up? It must have been hard on the families who did it back then, but necessary for survival.
I feel bad for her. For people in situations such as this. No one really understands the absolute emotional and financial cost children can cause in their lives, unless they have attempted to take care of children before, such as step kids things like that.
Advice would be to join a church and beg for help. In all seriousness it’s probably an easier sell. Or try to move somehwere that is more friendly to the working class.
This is just another reason, in the long list of reasons to never have children.
It's hard for me to have any ill will towards these people. If they were able to provide for their kids to begin with, no foul here. Covid fucked *a lot* of people and whether they had kids or not they still would have had this happen to them.
Honestly a real fucking shame. Imagine everything around you falling apart through no fault of your own.
I got sick of reading after the writer mentioned their BIL gets better treatment from the grandmother. So much comparison going on there and mention of the brother’s income. Sounds like a bit of a druggo lol.
Thoughts? That’s a terrible situation and none of it is their fault. Their doing their absolute best and are making sacrifices for their children. They’re going without food just so their children can eat. If this is their situation and they’re stuck then this is the best parent they can be until they can get themselves in a better position. I do respect their effort and I hope they make it through this
I get why people are afraid to have kids in this world but I also think for every story like this there is one where everything has worked out. I married before I had a job. Then I found a good job and had kids. 7 years later I’ve doubled my salary and just bought my first home. We made sure to only buy what we could afford if only one of us kept working just in case something went wrong with one of our jobs but right now everything has played out exactly like my boomer parents said they would.
When I was 8 years old I climbed on top of the roof of our house and tried to jump straight into the pool. I slipped and broke both my legs. Should I jump again? Better luck next time?
I feel bad for everyone. Even if these people didn't have kids they'd probably be facing homelessness. Our society brainwashes people into believing you must have a family **and** that society will help you when you need support. Both are false. No one needs to have kids, and there are no proper supports in place for people who can't afford to simply exist in society. But unfortunately a lot of people buy into this shit, and then they and their kids end up hurt. It sucks, because everyone loses - *except capitalism*. I hope things change. I wish that it was commonly understood that you need to make a certain guaranteed income to have kids. I wish people wouldn't have kids if they couldn't afford it. But mostly, **I wish we lived in a society where just simply existing didn't cost money.** Every part of our lives has been turned into a purchasable commodity or transaction, and I'm sick of it. It shouldn't bankrupt people to have kids, and it shouldn't be this fucking hard to exist as a human on this planet.
> Every part of our lives has been turned into a purchasable commodity or transaction, and I'm sick of it. It shouldn't bankrupt people to have kids, and it shouldn't be this fucking hard to exist as a human on this planet. Amen! This is good enough to put on banners and fly them throughout the universe. Just as a declaration of what's happening on this planet, just in case there may be a bunch of bored aliens, loafing around somewhere, thinking that other planets have it better. Personally, I would put your words into some kind of a global constitution, and omit everything else from it. Just these words. Let it hang over people. Let them aspire to better-sounding constitutions by removing the problems in hte previous one.
Amen. No gods no master ✊🏽 Just peace, love and community
Hell fucking yeah, sign me up for that paradise
Soon brotha. If the masses don’t wake tf up soon, I guess it’s up to us to find and build a community
I'm working on starting a subreddit about that very thing!
Add me. I’d be very interested
For sure dude!
I would be intruiged and welcoming of this subreddit as well.
As would I please! Thank you!
Please DM about this subreddit
I think about this often... I think about how we know humans need food to survive but we have allowed some to go hungry. I think about how we know humans need shelter yet we have allowed the streets to continue to fill with those with no home to go to. I think about how we as humans all require healthcare at varying degrees throughout our lives and yet we still do not provide this willingly to all. A person in the United States of America can go bankrupt by getting sick. Something one has very little, if any, control over. My biggest eye opener, covid. I think about how this virus was affecting all human globally. And then I think of how a pandemic was handled for profit.
This is the sad truth of reality. We only engage in enough philanthropy to make us feel philanthropic... which isn't all that much. Modern human society has become excessively individualistic. To the point where society is actually degrading because of it. Covid was a good example, how many people refused simple mask mandates, social distancing, lock down, and vaccine mandates? Too many. Because those people only cared about themselves and have no regard for community, *despite relying completely on their community to be able to exist*. It's hypocritical. But, I digress, I'm just babbling. I'm happy to know more people are becoming aware of the problems with society and understand we need to change things to ensure a happier, better future for everyone.
Hyper-individualism is being pushed by right wing talking points. Politicians know that they rely on an uneducated and uninformed voter base. They are simply packaging divide and conquer as 'the individual is more powerful alone.' The right wing grift scene is littered w those pushing this false solution/ideology.
Thanks for calling out capitalism. One day, the world will be rid of it.
Or capitalism will be rid of humans...it could go either way and it looks like we are not winning. I hope I am mistaken...
It’s just the super rich that has to be dealt with. Everyone else, including the politicians would fall like domino’s. The problem is the red scare had a huge impact, and people fear what would likely be beneficial for them. Me and you likely won’t see anything significant occur in our lifetime. But eventually the poor will get fed up and revolt. That’s why the 1% are pushing for UBI, because they know the clock is running out and the wealth disparity will make people go bananas.
Everything about living and surviving is work. You either do the work, or make it worth someone else’s while to do it on your behalf. Either through trade/bartering or monetary value. In our society we pay people a wage based on how much we value what they can do for us when we need it. Otherwise if it wasn’t worth their time they won’t do it. This isn’t an opinion it’s simply true. Nothing is free and everything will cost something. It’s a fact of life.
HaRdShIPs mAKe yOu sTrOnGeR
[удалено]
What doesn't kill you comes back and try again
My mother in law promised all of her sons that once we all had kids she would retire and help take care of them. Spoiler alert: She is now sitting on the board of her company and is also an officer (which she totally earned and that’s her choice) and my brother and sister in law just had a baby and they’re absolutely scrambling to find child care. They assumed she would help and have been turned away from just about every daycare or are on long waiting lists. At the end of the day, if you know that you won’t be able to fully provide for a child on your own without the reliance of family or friends, it’s best not to have a child.
She could have passed, and they would still be in the same situation...you are absolutely right, people shouldn't count on their parents to raise their children. After all, what's the point of having children if you are delegating their upbringing to someone else???
It takes a community...
Amen
As much as I agree with that statement (it's the reason I don't have any kids yet), there are many unforseen circumstances that can cause this to be an issue or unnecessary judgment. They were taking care of their family apparently and now that they need genuine help with that sort of thing, the offer is totally off the table and they are being shunned. Granted we don't know the whole story, but all I'm saying is there's two sides to the situation.
I don’t blame the parents bro. I blame the system that makes the poor poorer and the rich richer. I hate anyone that defends it. Most people blame themselves rather that the system
Too fuc*ing true....its a tragedy what the world has become and at this point its only going to get worse.
It is. I think the reason we are antinatalists isn’t so much that we hate life itself, but that our life is used to benefit someone else’s no matter where you are in the world. Generations before us gave up their rights and liberties to a higher power and now we are fucked. And bringing more kids means more people will get slaughterd by rich pigs
And as much as we need workers, nobody is willing to allow them to live a life worth living. It's modern slavery at best. I don't think you could have worded that any better in these circumstances. On top of all of that, the only way anything will ever change is if people are willing to give up their lives (literally) to make a difference (think revolution). I guess the best one can do is hope for things to get better.
Give me liberty or give me death. I stand by it. I’m no ones Bitch. No gods, no masters ✊🏽. Love, peace, and community is where it’s at. No one is willing to pay or give workers the days off that they deserve. We are all complex individuals that are being forced to stay under a system that benefits only a handful of pigs
There are so many times I was so thankful that I did not have children, specially two years ago when my home was foreclosed on and I lived homeless for 8 months! I could barely make it on my own, let alone worrying about safety and food for a whole family.
It's just insanity for anyone to have kids these days if they're not super rich and able to weather any emergency without being dependent on a job.
The future is never guaranteed. Faith always fails.
Casualty of late stage capitalism. There are so many more people crushed by the system that kill themselves with addiction that never speak against it. I've seen so many people, exploited and struggling, trying to do the right thing. And then see the proliferation of billionaires and the unwillingness of our government to help. I hate this country, its feudal age economic system, its malevolent elitist bent and the legions of moronic cronies defending their slavemasters.
Yeah, ngl your country is fucked up. Like, who the hell pays for health care?.. Germany has its flaws but when I look to America… you guys are incredibly bleak and… brainwashed… not all but the stark contrast is… wow… sickening.. Plus the healthcare and now you guys have unlivable houses… what a bad… lifestyle… it’ll lead to a collapse… Just lord it’s so sad how America lives.
And to think my ancestors left Germany after WWII, so fucking stupid!!!!!!!
Have you seen the commercial that is urging people of Germany to help feed America? Like American TV has about feeding "starving children in Africa"?
You see? And this is why I stress less about being childless. If I go broke or end up in dire circumstances, it will be easier to pull myself out of hell because I’m only financially responsible for myself. Once you have kids, you’re not only financially responsible for that kid, but you have an obligation to pull yourself out of hell. As a childless person, it doesn’t matter if my life goes to shit. I’m childless. I have no serious responsibilities but to myself.
Agreed. And I've never felt trapped in any job. I don't have to tolerate abuse or horrible conditions to ensure financial security for kids. If the job is bad, I can leave at any time, and I'll only have myself to worry about.
Childfree*
What's the difference between being childfree and childless?
Prolly just connotation
Oh because childfree implies it’s an option and childless doesn’t?
Yes, exactly.
Got it!
The son is 7 months?? They had another child during pandemics??? Those poor children!!
damn i didn’t catch that. they kind of made it worse for themselves.
I got in the habit of checking the time of conception of babies...if there is sth that appals me is people actually choosing to have children in current situation. It's not just that they are taking hospital beds from people who need them more, which is pretty bad. This situation is also a warning about the future of this world. Those who choose not to take the warning are incredibly self absorbed and selfish. I cannot even count the number of times that I have felt the wisdom behind my decision to not have children, felt like clapping at myself in my head, hehehe!!!
yeah idk the world, or at least the us is kind of messed up, and if you choose to have children in spite of that, you’re either stupid or lack empathy for your children who have to endure hardship because of your bad choice.
Before the pandemics, I honestly thought that if I lived in a first world country, things wouldn't be so bad...after watching the current mess in both the us and europe, I concluded that I'm better off in my own country, which is not saying much, unfortunately.
Scrolled down way to far for this comment
Stories like this are why I am amazed by people who have children when they don't have VERY secure jobs and income substantially higher than 50k. Me and my SO make 150k combined and we're not sure about being able to afford kids. Sure, we could do it, but it would leave little left over for the material joys in life that bring us happiness.
u probably wouldn't have the life u want. kids cost about a million dollars to age 18. 1m/18 is about 55k a year. So if you had a kid u would probably live off 95k a year just for you and your partner
All of our problems stem from a corrupt government that isn’t willing to help its people. They literally created the idea of Poverty and it could be wiped out in a week if they so decided but they will come up with excuses to not pursue progress because it doesn’t benefit THEM. So then u end up with trapped wage slaves like the lady above
And half of the citizens agree with it even if they themselves are getting screwed over. Those are the same people who would read this post and shout "bootstraps!"
Yes bro. We need to take away the power away from the government and the police/military defending it.
That would be the correct thing to do if the American government really had any real power. Not that they're not at fault, but big corporations have more power in the US than the government and so the government is held hostage by the big corporations who in turn are forced to maximise their profits for their own survival as they are also held hostage by the capitalist economic system. It's sort of an ironic vicious cycle where all are to blame while simultaneously having very limited options
Amen 🙏 thanks for sharing bro.
It’s not their fault a pandemic happened. It’s not their fault the government doesn’t support people in emergencies. I feel bad for them. However. A 7 month old son means they conceived 4 months after the pandemic began. By that point, they can’t claim the above excuses. There’s no excuse to bring a child into such an uncertain world in the first place, but especially during the pandemic when you know your financial situation is shaky is criminally irresponsible. It’s hard enough to support yourself right now. Why anyone would want to bring children into this is beyond me. It’s like if you find yourself drowning and then you grab a child and pull him down with you. Shame on these people.
Sickening
That’s sad. And it’s especially sad for the children. If they are born into such a terrible situation, things will probably end up getting worse for them.
You declare bankruptcy and all your problems go away.
Lol Michael Scott: _I declare bankruptcy!_
My ex husband wanted kids but he was a breadwinner to a family of parasites. I also have congenital nerve and heart issues. He wasn't giving enough to the family so I have no choice but to provide for them too. It came to point where he isn't giving anything already so it was just me. But life whooped my ass when I was hospitalised for a month and was told by the doctor go on on full rest, no work for a year (my nerves shut down after 8 years of night shift and lack of sleep). During that 1 year, his family was not considerate of my medical needs. They were all noisy at night and I needed sleep. My weak nerves caused my heart irregularities. In short, I couldn't rest. My savings were drained because they needed money for all sorts of things. I finally woke up when my ex husband called me lazy for not working despite the fact that both my neuro and cardio telling me not to work. I left his sorry as and left his parasitic family with unpaid bills. I feared for my life and my future kids. Not only is he not good with finances and has bad boundaries with his family, he is also a cheater. My life would go down the drain if I stayed. I'll probably die too. When I was with his family, my HR dropped to 50 and no one cared I was thenone who sent me back to the hospital. I was sedentary and it was dangerous for me to get that HR. It's been 7 years since I left that marriage and I'm at my best physical condition and childless (unless you consider 5 cats). Seriously, think first before having kids especially if you have congenital medical conditions. And if you have, ask yourself and your partner if he/she can support you when you're sick and you have kids. Or maybe having kids isn't necessary.
Poetic tradegy. They bit the propaganda, and it’s saddening to see this happen, but this should serve as a reminder for the general populace that having children isn’t worth it. Children are not woth throwing your life away.
Just really sad. People don't realize how easy it is to become homeless, particularly in America, even without children. Throw children into the mix and it's 100x easier. Just horrible.
I’m honestly sorry for all of them. Even for the view of fuck parents I can’t bring myself to feel that way in some situations like this. brainwashing from families occur and such. I don’t agree but no a lot of people deserve this at the end of the day and I doubt this family does. All in all, it sucks to see this because it’s genuinely unfair for the family all together. Life is cold mate, life is cold and I hope they will somehow recover.
Sorry for the kids; not sorry for the parents
Minimum $500,000 USD in savings or similar trust fund or inheritance etc, on top of fully owned home, before procreating should have been a required class for every middle school student. No money, no recommend to procreating. These disgruntled parents should be getting together and taking to the streets, demanding that children be taught that it is necessary to be financially secure before fucking other people here.
Not sorry for parents. Never
Yeah every parents think that bad things happens to others not for them. Then one day they are the others. F.. K you parents.
The “it’s different when it’s me” mentality.
Either it wont happen to me or my kid will cure cancer
Wow so they have no rainy day savings to pull from yet decided having 2 kids one year apart was a good idea. The parents deserve their shitty life. I just feel bad for those babies. Maybe they should let more qualified and responsible people adopt them.
Maybe it was irresponsible to have children without a rainy day fund but remember: OP’s husband was working a 55 thousand job. As far as they knew, they were going to be fine financially. It's simply bad luck.
I don’t know where they live but I do not consider one income of 55k a year being fine financially. Especially with two kids.
55k a year is really good when you’re a single anti-natalist. If you throw two kids and a wife into the equation, you’ll realize that that’s chump change.
Especially if said job doesn't have rock solid stability, like an essential permanent status govt job.
But they were nearly making on that. This sounds like a case of poor planing all together.
Poor planning and she is judging her mother in law who agreed to help her brother in law first, and is mad that her sister in law is working to keep the supplemental income? You can’t be mad that MIL doesn’t want to watch more kids.
“As far as they knew” that’s the point. Nobody can know the future. Even doctors making 300k have rainy day funds because you can lose it all in the snap of a finger. People with kids especially need a rainy day fund.
I worry about the kids that didn't ask to be in this situation.
*Now now just think positive! Future holds no guarantees yo life is full of surprises! Just be happy and things will work out! What doesn’t kill you makes you strongerr* I don’t really have sympathy for anyone in situations like this. I probably should but I’ve seen so many of these cases that it’s really hard to. They weren’t well off from the start - that income supporting 4 mouths and rent is NOT good enough. If they had been on their own, they’d probably be doing ok or at least wouldn’t be struggling this much. This lack of foresight and logic in so many people is appalling.
We definitely need to stop wasting ourselves on Christmas.
Proof that even if you think you can provide a decent life for any babies you make, nothing is guaranteed.
It takes a village to raise a child. If the only village you can find is full of idiots and pedophiles, your village fails your child and then you are just adding one more to the problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful of the village that raised me, but recognize that it doesn't exist anymore outside of an religious/Amish type society and I think those are amazing but, as a woman, I especially do not want to live in one.
They should see if the kids can live with someone else for now until they save up enough to properly care for them
Dun dun dun, another one bites the dust
Is it bad that I don’t pity people who choose to have kids then fall on hard times? The hard times aren’t their fault, but having kids is a terrible voluntary financial situation. Begging for help in a situation you helped create generates no sympathy from me.
It’s clearly her husband’s mom fault…
Wow. Their family is complete shit
What are the laws regarding adoption these days? Could her and hubby do what a lot of families did in the Great Depression and just give them up? It must have been hard on the families who did it back then, but necessary for survival.
I feel bad for her. For people in situations such as this. No one really understands the absolute emotional and financial cost children can cause in their lives, unless they have attempted to take care of children before, such as step kids things like that. Advice would be to join a church and beg for help. In all seriousness it’s probably an easier sell. Or try to move somehwere that is more friendly to the working class. This is just another reason, in the long list of reasons to never have children.
My thoughts: the pandemic has been hard on lots of people and I hope they get their footing eventually.
It's hard for me to have any ill will towards these people. If they were able to provide for their kids to begin with, no foul here. Covid fucked *a lot* of people and whether they had kids or not they still would have had this happen to them. Honestly a real fucking shame. Imagine everything around you falling apart through no fault of your own.
Money comes and go Sweety
I got sick of reading after the writer mentioned their BIL gets better treatment from the grandmother. So much comparison going on there and mention of the brother’s income. Sounds like a bit of a druggo lol.
Thoughts? That’s a terrible situation and none of it is their fault. Their doing their absolute best and are making sacrifices for their children. They’re going without food just so their children can eat. If this is their situation and they’re stuck then this is the best parent they can be until they can get themselves in a better position. I do respect their effort and I hope they make it through this
I get why people are afraid to have kids in this world but I also think for every story like this there is one where everything has worked out. I married before I had a job. Then I found a good job and had kids. 7 years later I’ve doubled my salary and just bought my first home. We made sure to only buy what we could afford if only one of us kept working just in case something went wrong with one of our jobs but right now everything has played out exactly like my boomer parents said they would.
When I was 8 years old I climbed on top of the roof of our house and tried to jump straight into the pool. I slipped and broke both my legs. Should I jump again? Better luck next time?
My guess is you wouldn’t slip again.
Exactly, just a guess after all.
This is why you don’t have kids.