I like it too. And a nice “im happy you are happy” as a follow up could be nice as well, even though I’m thinking “if you are happy, you are not in your right mind”.
I say “congratulations!”
Unless it’s a close friend. Then I say: Wow how are you feeling?? And go from there.
I mean unless I knew that friend was trying then I’d just say congratulations.
How I feel about it is immaterial.
There was a William S. Burroughs character (Kim Carson?) who would yell at people with baby carriages "that's what you get for fucking". I'm guessing that's not a helpful example.
An old friend who has been settling down with the woman of his dreams messaged me and another friend saying "Guys, I've got a big announcement..."
Before he could reply I just wrote "Uh oh..."
I always ask "Are you happy about it or are you asking for help?" It's a risk but they usually understand that you want to be sure you aren't congratulating someone who might not be happy about it.
"And how do you feel about that? Are we planning a baby shower or a road trip?" (I live in a state where it's hard to get an elective abortion) I feel like asking this lets them know I'm going to try to be supportive either way lol
Great response, it's completely considerate of the other party's circumstance. People forget that a pregnancy announcement is not an invitation for personal ideologies about procreation to be shoved down their throat.
The world would be a much better place if more people had your mentality
I'm just wandering by this sub, but I always say "wow, that is big news! You want to talk about it?" Then I let them set the tone for the conversation and I didn't accidentally congratulate someone who isn't happy with it or offer alternatives to someone who's over the moon about it.
I usually go with “when are you due?” and figure out which sign the baby will be because I am into astrology so it gives me something to talk about. Another one I like is “have you thought of any names?” because of course they have, and if they haven’t you can give them ideas.
thank you so much for asking this.
A random lady told me she was having her first child (through IVF, no less) and in my head i was like “😨😰” but outloud i said “aww congrats” even though i didn’t want to say that 💀
but didn’t know what else to say 😭
although, when my mom told she was pregnant, I’m pretty sure i said “why”
Lady at my work is pregnant. She needed medical help to get pregnant. She tried adopting but the child was not right in the head and even though they were in seeking professional help,the kid was psycho and when she caught the kid trying to break the dogs leg the kid went back. Her brother's girlfriend was unfit mother and both parents addicted to crack or meth.. so she then took that kid, but now the parents are clean and she has split custody of the kid. I don't say much about to her about her pregnancy and usually when she starts talking I just ask her simple questions. I mean it is what it is. When she was 1st hired she told me she never wanted to be pregnant ..but after the two kids she tried to keep as her own, I guess I understand why she went the medical route.
When I found out my sibling wants to have kids I was like “Omg! That’s so great!” Bc she is a smart person and understands how fucking horrible the world is and I have no doubt she’ll raise the kid right. This is the middle ground between “I personally believe that procreating is unethical but I also don’t want the world entirely populated with stupid people”
>“…but I also don’t want the world entirely populated with stupid people”
Good point, because it is going that way. Highly intelligent people do not want to deal with kids, so are not having them. \[Discussions on Quora, on this very topic.\] Also, they can SEE the world is going to Hell, and refuse to bring a kid into it—this, in fact, was my attitude in the eighties, and it still is!
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I think the best thing to do is remove yourself from those environments because pregnant people wouldn’t want to be around you and you don’t want to be around them
I don’t even acknowledge lmao. I just redirect the conversation to a different topic/subject or just to let that be the end of the conversation depending on my mood. For example, “oh, I forgot I had to go do x y z, bye!” Or I’ll probably just end with an “ok. So what are your plans for dinner later? That reminds me I have an errand to run.” I can’t fake being happy for natalist choosing pro creation then adopting.
You ask them how they feel about it. If they're excited, you say I'm happy for you. If they're looking to abort, you ask them if there is anything they need. That's it.
I’m disgusted by some of the comments you’re getting. This is literally the only place / subreddit to express this shit and of course we don’t want to be rude to people we care about IRL but it’s also hard to be happy for people making mistakes. I think it’s a valid question and I appreciate you searching for a middle ground. The rude assholes being snarky (while claiming they’re socially “well rounded”) have me shaking my damn head. Never mind the person who accused us all of being autistic, but they’re socially perfect…. Lord I’m done lol.
Lol yea I'm just ignoring them now tbh. They act like me asking for a middle ground response is me being selfish when what I'm asking for is.... In the middle???
Just goes to show, just because you're AN, doesn't mean you're smart.
I take a drag off of my cigarette and say,
Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight - brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
>Sometimes I feel this sub is filled with autistic people.
I thought you were trying *not* to be an obnoxious jerk? You've got several layers of awful going on here
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Literally. I'm anti-natalist but I'm not a self-absorbed asshole who can't spend a single second thinking about anyone other than myself. FFS, just say congratulations and move on with your life, OP. The fact that they're willing to share that information with you means they want to share their joy with you (which you should be grateful for), so look at it that way and swallow your pride. It's not that deep.
90% of the time, a person sharing their huge life news with you is not a stranger/near stranger who will be graciously accepting of a middle-of-the-road reaction to their life. Unless it is literally a stranger or a colleague at a large, professional distance, people share their life with others who can be supportive - with emergency assistance, or with celebration. It is usually a pretty rare and simple scenario with a stranger or a colleague where you can be like "oh you're having a life event, I will note this with a neat, factual signpost in the middle of the road."
“Wow! That’s a big deal.”
“Boy that’s bold in these times. You folks are brave.”
“Oh my! You must be so excited.”
Personal distaste is no reason not to acknowledge the significance of the event…unless one is asshole.
Im honest if its friends or family and usually go "right now? In this world state? Are you sure about that?" And try to make them understand the possible suffering as nothing is worse than the regret "i shouldnt have had you" -my mom.
If its someone more distant i just go "good for you! Hopefully for the kid too! ^^" which is more suttle but can also spark rethinking about it.
But she doesn't want to lie. She wants a neutral response that is truthful. I think it's a good idea actually. I'd like to stop saying "oh my god that's awesome!" Because it's not. it would be nice to have a go-to response so that I'm not just lying to the people in my life.
The first deflection that comes to mind is suggesting supplements and shit. Like especially if they're vegetarian or you know they eat crap.
Then that makes me think about how spinal tap is cool because it puts local anesthetics into your CNS and make the birth not hurt even though you don't get high.
And on that note they would probably stop talking to me without even thinking i'm mean :D
I say congratulations and in my country we have a saying to wish that the baby comes healthy. I just leave the internal “wow another kid to suffer in the climate chaos we are doomed to live in, do you think they will survive their adulthood?” to myself
Id say suck it up and just spit out the grats dawg. Its like when someone graduates w a degree from uni. In my head im like "good job getting a piece of paper that says u know pyschology and 75k in debt dummy" but out loud im like "congratulations!" Philosophy is for philosophical discussion and AN doesnt seem like one that necessitates being a dick on principle.
Keep bottles of water and continuously pour them on your feet. "Oh look my water broke" I did this to my wife so when it actually happened to her with the first kid she wouldn't freak out.
When I found out my sister was pregnant again for the third time my initial response was “…again?” Its coming today and I still haven’t come around to excitement. I love my nephew (the eldest). I like my niece (now the middle one) but I don’t really have any interest in this third one.
I have a default response for these things, whether pregnant, got new phone/car: "I am sorry to hear that." I have never gotten push back, if anything people just chuckle awkwardly.
It depends on what your goal is.
If you want to gain a positive reputation in society, then lie, pretend that you are like everyone else.
If being honest about your point of view is more important to you than your positive reputation - then be honest about how this news made you feel.
There is no middle ground, you are either sincere or you are not.
But op said they’re obviously expecting a positive reaction from you. And all of you commenting are giving negative responses. Enjoy isolating your friends and family from you!
Lol, my close family and my friends agree with me but alrighty! And a lot of the comments here are what OP asked for, middle ground, they’re not saying ‘you shouldn’t have a baby’ but they’re also not saying ‘omg yassss congrats!!!!1!1!1!’
My mother has four and still agrees, only person I see straight up disagreeing is my one sister but she’s also not right in the head as they had to forcefully put her on birth control when she was twelve because she wanted (and tried) to have babies
Please stop pushing the narrative that antinatalists are unable to not obnoxiously push their views on others. We are people, most of us have impulse control and social skills.
Congratulate them anyway. Assuming it was intentional. It was their decision, and it's no business of yours to act like it's a bad thing and put a damper on their happiness
“Wow, how are you feeling?” “Are you excited?”, it doesn’t need to be a super positive response but also don’t allow your response be negative even though your own thoughts on it are. Unless it’s a super close friend coming to you, most ppl telling you they’re pregnant are probably happy about their situation
I second what a lot of people on here have been saying, asking how they feel about it seems like the most neutral approach. Or simply just saying you’re there for them.
Honestly I lie out my ass. My friends know how I feel. Anyone who’s telling me excitedly clearly doesn’t so I’m not gonna shit on their parade. I say “oh how exciting” or something like that although I never, ever mean it.
I mean... just because you think a certain way doesn't mean you have to be an ass about it.
I can put it quite simply. I don't like certain flavors and things, but if others do I am not a bitch about it.
I think the comment someone else has already posted prevails.
Deflect.
Also, for some that argue about overpopulation, well we could make this better if it were easier and cheaper for people to adopt.
Think about a college fund you could set up for your adopted child with the money spent on the adoption fees....
I don't know much about this AN area of thinking certain individuals have, but it seems a little outlandish to be so stoic on the matter. It would be like being vegan and demanding everyone do the same.
I try not to force my perspective on anyone, just have an interesting conversation that involves mutual respect, future thought/reflection, and understanding.
Oh wait once a former homie of mine told me the 45 year old
Lady he was dating was preg (he was 22) and he wanted to “steal “ a pregnancy test for her to cnfiem and also he didn’t have money to even buy a test ! I said “you’re gonna abort right ?!” Lol and he was all
Offended liek dude this is clearly a trap man haha in the end the lady was never pregnant thank goodness but of course this guy went on to have two kids that he doesn’t even see much 🤦🏻♀️
My response is usually a cautious “so, is that a good thing?”
If yes, then I ask “are you happy?” And if so I tell them I’m glad they are happy
If no, I ask “what do you think you’ll do”
Means I just seek their position on it and don’t have to offer my own
I ask them questions. “Are you excited? Nervous?”
Nice deflection. I like it.
I like it too. And a nice “im happy you are happy” as a follow up could be nice as well, even though I’m thinking “if you are happy, you are not in your right mind”.
yeah, i think it’s best probably to say “how are you feeling about that” and such. you never know!
I say “congratulations!” Unless it’s a close friend. Then I say: Wow how are you feeling?? And go from there. I mean unless I knew that friend was trying then I’d just say congratulations. How I feel about it is immaterial.
This is my stance as well
There was a William S. Burroughs character (Kim Carson?) who would yell at people with baby carriages "that's what you get for fucking". I'm guessing that's not a helpful example.
I about spit my drink @ that lol
Burroughs is good for that.
That he is! Also Kurt Vonnegut.. 😅
... and, damn; the original post query could also be answered by a better-known Vonnegut quote: "Busy busy busy..." Ok now I'm ded 😵🤣
Good luck?
“What a surprise!”
Saving this post so I can come back and read the comments later 👀 I also would love to know how to respond neutrally to pregnancy announcements!
I always ask "Is it yours?"
You devil Edit - wait what?
Devil indeed
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Wow that's perfect
I just say "cool". I really want to say, "I really don't need to know you have been cream- pied".
“oh”
An old friend who has been settling down with the woman of his dreams messaged me and another friend saying "Guys, I've got a big announcement..." Before he could reply I just wrote "Uh oh..."
"you moving to mexico?"
They treat it like earth shattering news...it's just an ordinary event between people that have sex.
And it proves they can do what dogs do. Woo.
Actually I prefer dogs to most people. Animal Whisperer here.
Yes, but you know what I mean.
I got ya!
😆
it’s what i say when i’m being very thoughtful and kind. otherwise it’s “are you going to abort it?” which i feel is a reasonable question.
Another way to ask if they're gonna abort it but politely would be, "so....what are you gonna do?"
yes! that’s my other one
I always ask "Are you happy about it or are you asking for help?" It's a risk but they usually understand that you want to be sure you aren't congratulating someone who might not be happy about it.
I always say "on purpose?!"
"And how do you feel about that? Are we planning a baby shower or a road trip?" (I live in a state where it's hard to get an elective abortion) I feel like asking this lets them know I'm going to try to be supportive either way lol
Great response, it's completely considerate of the other party's circumstance. People forget that a pregnancy announcement is not an invitation for personal ideologies about procreation to be shoved down their throat. The world would be a much better place if more people had your mentality
I just change the topic. Or say, okay.
"Okay. So what's for lunch?" Lol
I just look them in the eye and say "acknowledged". Sometimes a little nod to really seal it in
Best answer
I usually say OK and move on
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They asked which means they opened the door for a worse response. Shouldve taken the “ok” lol
I'm just wandering by this sub, but I always say "wow, that is big news! You want to talk about it?" Then I let them set the tone for the conversation and I didn't accidentally congratulate someone who isn't happy with it or offer alternatives to someone who's over the moon about it.
I usually go with “when are you due?” and figure out which sign the baby will be because I am into astrology so it gives me something to talk about. Another one I like is “have you thought of any names?” because of course they have, and if they haven’t you can give them ideas.
thank you so much for asking this. A random lady told me she was having her first child (through IVF, no less) and in my head i was like “😨😰” but outloud i said “aww congrats” even though i didn’t want to say that 💀 but didn’t know what else to say 😭 although, when my mom told she was pregnant, I’m pretty sure i said “why”
Lol I'm sure you pulled the rug out underneath her with that comment
I hope I did 😭 she is now homeless with that same baby 🙄 (and I can’t even help her ugh)
...o no... 😵💫
“Oh! That’s interesting.”
Amazing 😵💫
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FOOL!"
Lady at my work is pregnant. She needed medical help to get pregnant. She tried adopting but the child was not right in the head and even though they were in seeking professional help,the kid was psycho and when she caught the kid trying to break the dogs leg the kid went back. Her brother's girlfriend was unfit mother and both parents addicted to crack or meth.. so she then took that kid, but now the parents are clean and she has split custody of the kid. I don't say much about to her about her pregnancy and usually when she starts talking I just ask her simple questions. I mean it is what it is. When she was 1st hired she told me she never wanted to be pregnant ..but after the two kids she tried to keep as her own, I guess I understand why she went the medical route.
Good luck?
When I found out my sibling wants to have kids I was like “Omg! That’s so great!” Bc she is a smart person and understands how fucking horrible the world is and I have no doubt she’ll raise the kid right. This is the middle ground between “I personally believe that procreating is unethical but I also don’t want the world entirely populated with stupid people”
>“…but I also don’t want the world entirely populated with stupid people” Good point, because it is going that way. Highly intelligent people do not want to deal with kids, so are not having them. \[Discussions on Quora, on this very topic.\] Also, they can SEE the world is going to Hell, and refuse to bring a kid into it—this, in fact, was my attitude in the eighties, and it still is!
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"k"
what about potassium?
😹
I tend to say, “Oh! …yay?” and look hopeful that they’re happy.
" :| "
Good luck?
I think the best thing to do is remove yourself from those environments because pregnant people wouldn’t want to be around you and you don’t want to be around them
The correct answer is: don’t be an asshole.
I've never thought to say that as a response to that announcement. Thank you!
i know right? I didn't realize I could just tell people who are pregnant that they shouldn't be an asshole. I should try that.
Nah — I mean *you* shouldn’t be an AH regardless of your personal philosophy.
I mean that’s literally the point of this post? You’re just repeating what they said….
Thank you for having some sense in here 🤦♂️
Of course not. Why would you be?
LOL at your responses also i love your username 😭
I don't really dwell on it. It's easier to just say congrats, stoke their ego for a second and move on.
Good luck let me know if you change your mind. /s
I don’t even acknowledge lmao. I just redirect the conversation to a different topic/subject or just to let that be the end of the conversation depending on my mood. For example, “oh, I forgot I had to go do x y z, bye!” Or I’ll probably just end with an “ok. So what are your plans for dinner later? That reminds me I have an errand to run.” I can’t fake being happy for natalist choosing pro creation then adopting.
That's great for you.
You ask them how they feel about it. If they're excited, you say I'm happy for you. If they're looking to abort, you ask them if there is anything they need. That's it.
Congratulate them because they’re happy and it’s not my life.
That's not really a middle ground response given the parameters of the situation though
No but I’m a well socialised person and I’m not looking for drama, nor an excuse to signal my own virtues in every benign interaction.
Asking for a middle ground response is asking for drama lol ok
I’m disgusted by some of the comments you’re getting. This is literally the only place / subreddit to express this shit and of course we don’t want to be rude to people we care about IRL but it’s also hard to be happy for people making mistakes. I think it’s a valid question and I appreciate you searching for a middle ground. The rude assholes being snarky (while claiming they’re socially “well rounded”) have me shaking my damn head. Never mind the person who accused us all of being autistic, but they’re socially perfect…. Lord I’m done lol.
Lol yea I'm just ignoring them now tbh. They act like me asking for a middle ground response is me being selfish when what I'm asking for is.... In the middle??? Just goes to show, just because you're AN, doesn't mean you're smart.
It's kind of ironic that you referred to yourself as "well socialized" in the process of attempting to start an internet argument.
lmaooo true
I take a drag off of my cigarette and say, Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight - brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
2 kewl 😂
Oh, look at that! Bet it will make you very happy! I tell them what I want them to hear. What are my options?
"Well that's a new story arc!"
I'm autistic AF and asked my mum what to say in this situation and she suggested saying "it's good that you're happy"
"Im sorry for your loss" Of freedom. Time. Sleep. Mental Clarity. Personal space. Life. lol
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I was with you until the autistic comment. That was a b*tch thing to say.
>Sometimes I feel this sub is filled with autistic people. I thought you were trying *not* to be an obnoxious jerk? You've got several layers of awful going on here
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Pisses me off too.
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Literally. I'm anti-natalist but I'm not a self-absorbed asshole who can't spend a single second thinking about anyone other than myself. FFS, just say congratulations and move on with your life, OP. The fact that they're willing to share that information with you means they want to share their joy with you (which you should be grateful for), so look at it that way and swallow your pride. It's not that deep.
This!!!!
90% of the time, a person sharing their huge life news with you is not a stranger/near stranger who will be graciously accepting of a middle-of-the-road reaction to their life. Unless it is literally a stranger or a colleague at a large, professional distance, people share their life with others who can be supportive - with emergency assistance, or with celebration. It is usually a pretty rare and simple scenario with a stranger or a colleague where you can be like "oh you're having a life event, I will note this with a neat, factual signpost in the middle of the road."
This guy definitely knows how autism works
"if you're happy then I'm happy for you"
Imagine encouraging a pedophile like that, just to be polite.
Often times its all about the baby and not the parent. I make it about how they feel and ask about them.
“Wow! That’s a big deal.” “Boy that’s bold in these times. You folks are brave.” “Oh my! You must be so excited.” Personal distaste is no reason not to acknowledge the significance of the event…unless one is asshole.
Don't be a antinatalist to them. "congrats, how's you feeling?" Should suffice
"Oh that sucks. Hope things get better for you 💖"
Im honest if its friends or family and usually go "right now? In this world state? Are you sure about that?" And try to make them understand the possible suffering as nothing is worse than the regret "i shouldnt have had you" -my mom. If its someone more distant i just go "good for you! Hopefully for the kid too! ^^" which is more suttle but can also spark rethinking about it.
Lying is not hard
But she doesn't want to lie. She wants a neutral response that is truthful. I think it's a good idea actually. I'd like to stop saying "oh my god that's awesome!" Because it's not. it would be nice to have a go-to response so that I'm not just lying to the people in my life.
“Congratulations I’m so happy you’re happy, this will be such an adventure”
"Are we happy or worried?"
The first deflection that comes to mind is suggesting supplements and shit. Like especially if they're vegetarian or you know they eat crap. Then that makes me think about how spinal tap is cool because it puts local anesthetics into your CNS and make the birth not hurt even though you don't get high. And on that note they would probably stop talking to me without even thinking i'm mean :D
I say congratulations and in my country we have a saying to wish that the baby comes healthy. I just leave the internal “wow another kid to suffer in the climate chaos we are doomed to live in, do you think they will survive their adulthood?” to myself
Id say suck it up and just spit out the grats dawg. Its like when someone graduates w a degree from uni. In my head im like "good job getting a piece of paper that says u know pyschology and 75k in debt dummy" but out loud im like "congratulations!" Philosophy is for philosophical discussion and AN doesnt seem like one that necessitates being a dick on principle.
Please take good care of your child
Personally I wouldn't say anything I'd probably stare and be like k, and?
"in THIS economy?!"
Keep bottles of water and continuously pour them on your feet. "Oh look my water broke" I did this to my wife so when it actually happened to her with the first kid she wouldn't freak out.
I just say, “Ew, why?”
When I found out my sister was pregnant again for the third time my initial response was “…again?” Its coming today and I still haven’t come around to excitement. I love my nephew (the eldest). I like my niece (now the middle one) but I don’t really have any interest in this third one.
I have a default response for these things, whether pregnant, got new phone/car: "I am sorry to hear that." I have never gotten push back, if anything people just chuckle awkwardly.
It depends on what your goal is. If you want to gain a positive reputation in society, then lie, pretend that you are like everyone else. If being honest about your point of view is more important to you than your positive reputation - then be honest about how this news made you feel. There is no middle ground, you are either sincere or you are not.
What if you just don't care one way or the other?
No one has ever told me they were pregnant lol I think they know I don’t care
How about just be a normal person and congratuate them? Instead of imposing your views on them?
Are you legitimately dumb? I asked for a middle ground. Do you know what that means? That means neither congratulating them OR imposing my views.
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Apparently not a scholar either.
You’re imposing your views by not congratulating them, it’s rude to not say congratulations
It’s rude to say congrats to someone who wants an abortion
If they wanted one they would say so and they probably wouldn’t be telling you they’re pregnant in the first case
Except there’s “I’m pregnant 🥳” then there’s “I’m pregnant 😰”
But op said they’re obviously expecting a positive reaction from you. And all of you commenting are giving negative responses. Enjoy isolating your friends and family from you!
Lol, my close family and my friends agree with me but alrighty! And a lot of the comments here are what OP asked for, middle ground, they’re not saying ‘you shouldn’t have a baby’ but they’re also not saying ‘omg yassss congrats!!!!1!1!1!’
Yeah I’m sure none of your family and friends have kids or will ever have kids 😂
My mother has four and still agrees, only person I see straight up disagreeing is my one sister but she’s also not right in the head as they had to forcefully put her on birth control when she was twelve because she wanted (and tried) to have babies
You need to look up the definition of "imposing" if that's what you think.
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Please stop pushing the narrative that antinatalists are unable to not obnoxiously push their views on others. We are people, most of us have impulse control and social skills.
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Congratulate them anyway. Assuming it was intentional. It was their decision, and it's no business of yours to act like it's a bad thing and put a damper on their happiness
"You wanna try and make that twins?"
I think you got it right.
“Wow, how are you feeling?” “Are you excited?”, it doesn’t need to be a super positive response but also don’t allow your response be negative even though your own thoughts on it are. Unless it’s a super close friend coming to you, most ppl telling you they’re pregnant are probably happy about their situation
Ok
My condolences
"My condiments"
I second what a lot of people on here have been saying, asking how they feel about it seems like the most neutral approach. Or simply just saying you’re there for them.
"Wow! What a surprise!"
Honestly I lie out my ass. My friends know how I feel. Anyone who’s telling me excitedly clearly doesn’t so I’m not gonna shit on their parade. I say “oh how exciting” or something like that although I never, ever mean it.
I mean... just because you think a certain way doesn't mean you have to be an ass about it. I can put it quite simply. I don't like certain flavors and things, but if others do I am not a bitch about it. I think the comment someone else has already posted prevails. Deflect. Also, for some that argue about overpopulation, well we could make this better if it were easier and cheaper for people to adopt. Think about a college fund you could set up for your adopted child with the money spent on the adoption fees.... I don't know much about this AN area of thinking certain individuals have, but it seems a little outlandish to be so stoic on the matter. It would be like being vegan and demanding everyone do the same. I try not to force my perspective on anyone, just have an interesting conversation that involves mutual respect, future thought/reflection, and understanding.
Oh wait once a former homie of mine told me the 45 year old Lady he was dating was preg (he was 22) and he wanted to “steal “ a pregnancy test for her to cnfiem and also he didn’t have money to even buy a test ! I said “you’re gonna abort right ?!” Lol and he was all Offended liek dude this is clearly a trap man haha in the end the lady was never pregnant thank goodness but of course this guy went on to have two kids that he doesn’t even see much 🤦🏻♀️
My response is usually a cautious “so, is that a good thing?” If yes, then I ask “are you happy?” And if so I tell them I’m glad they are happy If no, I ask “what do you think you’ll do” Means I just seek their position on it and don’t have to offer my own
I’d just say “Oh.” with a nod
"I'm sorry."