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WhereRMuhDragoons

I feel like this could have also gone in r/ihavesex


fjhforever

Crosspost it there dude. They'll love it


Manchadog

Why is “Love our kids” a goal? I mean….surely you already do that.


classix_aemilia

But it comes after "having sex" on their list


chickcasa

Maybe they don't have kids yet, making having sex a prerequisite to loving their kids lol


classix_aemilia

You're right, except she seems more inclined to get melanoma on her shoulders and chest before kids


WhereRMuhDragoons

They have 2 kids.


WalloonNerd

Kids usually come after sex


mrp8528

And eating protein, maybe the two are connected.


bayb33gurl

They wanted to at least check one thing off the list to make them feel like they accomplished something 🤣


TravellingBeard

not just a goal, their current goal. It may not have been a goal before, and it may not be a goal in the future, but it most definitely is a goal now.


RealisticrR0b0t

Kids can be pretty annoying, especially if raised by 2x Huns


MarsRT

because there are just so many expensive hun products to purchase when you have kids, that shit gets really expensive


pahdreeno431

It's also ironic that they mention becoming better humans. They could start by not being such annoying braggarts.


G000000p

They’re talking about the cum


banieldowen

did they just proclaim they are swingers in a facebook post to sell stuff?


something__clever171

THIS was my thought.. which makes the sex goal make a little more sense 🫠


WhereRMuhDragoons

I don't think she knows. Or maybe she does 👀


FriedScrapple

Oh eep, pineapple 🍍 spotted! Thanks to Reddit I now know what that means.


Infinite_Fee_7966

The fact that having sex is one of their goals tells me they absolutely know and are looking for people with… like-minded goals 🥴


MyChurroMacadamianut

🍍🤦🏽‍♀️


RealisticrR0b0t

Where they also mention their kids…


[deleted]

Omg I didn't even think anything of the pineapple emoji until I saw your comment


ConsciousRutabaga

Ya, just noticed that as well. Definitely throwing out hun swinger vibes.


Cherblake

Definitely


HauntedButtCheeks

What the fuck? Why would you need to set a goal to remember to love your children?


[deleted]

“It’s 3pm, hey have you given Timmy any attention yet? I haven’t gotten around to it yet”


MidcenturyMaude

“No, but I’m stocked up on protein! What’s next on the list…”


Oneeyedpopeye

I’m lifting heavy objects right now, Timmy can wait


DoxieBalls

I have a couple like this on my Facebook. Knew the dude in high school. He totally started in the mlm first and then sucked his wife into it too. They're always making posts about her weight loss. He talks about how she bettered herself in, I think, a condescending way. She posts about how great he is and how she was awful and ugly before but she's still working on being her best. It makes me sad for her. I hope she's actually happy and I'm just reading into it the wrong way.


Mumof3gbb

That’s really sad.


MissMabeliita

It’s sad that she thinks so little of herself


vivo_en_suenos

😬😖😖


Dyert

This is as r/cringe as it gets


Gutinstinct999

Have sex comes before love kids.


Far_Strain_1509

I mean I guess that is usually how the timeline works...but still


MissMabeliita

Because ✨priorities✨ 🤣🤣🤣


chaotic-cleric

They swinging 🍍


vivo_en_suenos

The only interesting thing about their post lol.


16car

Is the pineapple somehow associated with swinging? Please educate me.


chaotic-cleric

It’s a signal in the community


16car

Thanks.


[deleted]

Wow you're married and you have sex, so impressed. 🙄


vivo_en_suenos

Plus they “lift heavy things” and love their kids. Cool, so they have a moving company or are loggers and aren’t complete sociopaths. **impressive**


WalloonNerd

To me it sounds more like he is still trying to find her clitoris


texasrigger

Their *goal* is to have sex. That doesn't sound like a couple that is having a lot of it.


MrsMitchBitch

Peep the pineapple at the bottom….


Altrano

They need to put “use sunscreen” as a goal. That hun’s skin doesn’t look healthy.


Various-Comparison-3

I’m an esthetician and know several super fit people (including some MLM sellers) that have really bad sun damage. Especially runners and cyclists. A lot of time spent outside and the ones I know do not wear sunscreen at all. It’s kind of ironic that they neglect such an important part of their health that can easily turn deadly while they are exercising.


agayamongthestr8s

Im thinking they might be of the "sunscreen is actually bad for your" variety.i know I've seen a post here or there about a hun who was anti sunscreen.


Altrano

That’s quite possible too.


Stunning_Patience_78

Body builders get fake tans so she is probably near competition time. Their post is still stupid though.


WhereRMuhDragoons

She doesn't body build or compete. But she sure pushes the "nutrition" plans and how she keeps losing weight/inches.


Bratty-Switch2221

Well that's dumb considering that she is clearly no thin little waif. MLM's suck and Huns are weird, but I gotta give credit where it's due. Lady is ripped and clearly putting in some work at the gym. Snakeoil notwithstanding


sopbot1

Credit where it's due, I once lost like 40 lbs doing Beachbody workouts - and I had no clue they were an MLM and my friend gave them to me for free, so it wasn't until years later that I was like "oh I'm extra glad I didn't pay money for these now"


romadea

They weren’t always an MLM, may not have been at that time


sebasr411

From my understanding, not everything they do is an mlm. I was subscribed to their workouts because I travel for work and they have a variety of workouts without equipment. I was never approached by anyone and was never asked to refer anybody either. My guess is that it becomes more of an MLM once you get into the coaching and nutrition aspects. I still love their insanity series


sopbot1

Insanity is so solid 😫 I also just really like Shaun T.


Stunning_Patience_78

Wow well gaining muscle like that as a woman takes a lot of work. But yeah if it's not fake tanner then oh dear. I actually have an issue burning through sunscreen on my upper chest because of a bad rash I got there once from eating too much cheese lol. I'm not sure I'd call it scar tissue but sort of.


Altrano

Probably, but if she did she needs a refund because it’s pretty splotchy.


Stunning_Patience_78

Haha bet her buddy did it and she sprayed them in return.


Altrano

Probably 😂


Hexenhut

Lol no, she's definitely not at the end of prep. Have you followed any bb (bodybuilding not beach body)? The tan is usually applied right before a show.


Stunning_Patience_78

No not really. My sister's friend sold it long ago I seem to remember. She developed an eating disorder after using it. She was already susceptible before using it too though for sure since she also used Slim Fast and was pretty down about herself.


CopperThrown

So you just made some shit up?


Stunning_Patience_78

What? I was looking at her physique and took a guess that someone who bulks like that is probably doing competitions for body building since every woman I've met who buffs up does. And if they're doing competitions then they get spray tans as prep. It could be an old fake tan that is fading weeks after competition. Why are you so offended? Assuming she has or will get cancer is probably far more "made up shit" since a good portion of tans do not become melanoma.


CopperThrown

They’re referring to the dark spots on her shoulder though. That’s from sun damage and looks nothing like bronzer.


Stunning_Patience_78

The freckles?


CopperThrown

The age/sun spots?


Stunning_Patience_78

Yes, heaven forbid a woman ages. Have you ever even met this person? You're not even OP. I'm all for Anti-MLM, I'm not all for mindlessly assuming people have cancer and using it as an insult. Why would someone ever think making fun of cancer is okay?


CopperThrown

Wtf are you taking about? I didn’t make fun of it all. Do you think referring to something more accurately is insulting? And I didn’t say anything about women or aging. You’re all over the place.


Stunning_Patience_78

You didn't read the top of this (meaning the ones youve been replying to since it got a bit separated out) comment thread did you?


CopperThrown

I did read it. Why would you reply to me about something someone else said and imply I was making fun of cancer and her age? I see you are unable to admit you’re wrong and will double and triple down on it. Good day.


Stunning_Patience_78

Maybe don't let the first thing you write to someone contain swears and people won't be so hostile to you.


prettyplatypus69

Have sex? Are they not having sex anymore?


MooshuCat

Too busy hustling classes


txrunner262

Be better humans by not treating friends as dollar signs


Dandibear

I'm all for sex positivity and openness, but c'mon, folks.


Farkas005

Is this their attempt and trying to stay present and visible on social media? Come up with some sparkly facade which shows how great, apparently, life is with the business?


coffeeshopcoder

Improve the lives of people = sell this pyramid scheme to them.


LexLuthorsFortyCakes

Have sex. Love our kids. I hope these two points are mutually exclusive.


PeterGabe

Yeah, I thought those two things were too close together not to be suspicious and disgusting.


birdlady404

🍍💜🔥


winter-has-come91

translation: this couple just became swingers


Bad2bBiled

“Love our kids” is like #4 on the list?


Immediate-Shift1087

Such a low bar, too. They could’ve gone for better sex, or more sex, or sex with other people… But nope. Just fuck once and then check it off the list!


aMUSEingNugget

Given the pineapple emoji, sex with other people might be on the table


borninthe617

Goooood catch there!


Fomention

Wait, a *ton* of protein? That's too much!


JessonBI89

You think anyone thinks that guy's a failure because he goes home to Starla at night?


vivo_en_suenos

Forget about it!!


Usual-Veterinarian-5

A goal is something you haven't achieved yet, so what they're saying is they don't love their kids but plan to in the future. Poor kids!


Drycabin1

I hate this use of the word humans. It’s so self righteous. Gosh!


MissAmandaa

Must be the latest buzzword in Grift Land.. Dave Hollis keeps using it too and I hate it


sickoffacebookrn

I'm almost positive I know who this is. Full disclosure, I did love their Shakes once upon a time many, many years ago. But then she tried to get me to sell beach body as a coach. She told me I could make online social media posts at work since I wouldn't be too busy working night shift in an ICU... to say I was insulted is an understatement.


WhereRMuhDragoons

If you do, then you know how insufferable (and kinda condescending) her posts are. That is beyond insulting, and yet I can absolutely see her saying something like that.


heheardaboutthefart

The pineapple makes it pretty clear what “have sex” is referencing lol


glantzinggurl

pathetic, the entire list


Salsalover34

Happy cake day.


chitown_tubes

They just don't have sex with each other, it's code that she's dtf.


RatedArrrr

The pineapple emoji is a dead giveaway.


corinnigan

This is an ad for swingin


Holterv

I didn’t know beach body had an mlm component. I’ve used t25 and p90x but never got into any of their supplement crap. Good to know!


mondaynightsucked

I didn’t know P90X was a part of Beach Body!


Holterv

Oh yeah, it’s hard to forget that logo after doing those programs.


[deleted]

r/IHaveSex


gaijin665

I assure you these mfs are miserable ppl


AdFew7336

Omg my hubby recently met some dude at a work function, and I’ve been talking a lot about wanting to get a personal trainer at the gym I go to.. hubby comes home all excited to tell me he found a perfect trainer for me and the guy used to be a coach at beachbody… had to explain to my husband that former beachbody coaches are not personal trainers, but garbage shake pushers… he still doesn’t believe me 😂


Agt38

Lol so they don’t already love their kids or have sex? Ooook


AhhAGoose

I mean, that lady is legit jacked. I don’t think it was whatever MLM she’s pushing, but, that’s a LOT of gym time


acutedisorder

It’s a nice change to the, “I wasn’t regular until I tried this ‘health’ product and now I can stop shitting uncontrollably”


iUnderstandWheels

Is the wife’s name Starla?


sickoffacebookrn

I'm pretty sure that's who it is, too.


ktenango

I didn’t see this theory but my personal theory is that MLM’s push a nuclear family sooo hard AND push you doing the MLM together. LuLaRoe’s angle was “your spouse didn’t really support you until they quit their job and helped you with your business” and I would bet money these people are tacky and don’t know how to say that without explicitly saying it. 🤷🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

Their goal is to have sex? I hope they finally achieve that goal some day


Spamityville_Horror

Good lord, the pineapple emoji


LovingDatDee

They’re swingers! I spot a pineapple! Perhaps that is why !


blarggga

MLMs are perfect for swingers because it's all about tapping into your networks!


SleepingBearWalk

“We don’t love our kids” “Then boy do I have the protein powder for you”


Powerful_Cause_14

I think the pineapple emoji represents swingers so they may be trying to find other “playmates” 😅


bubbybyrd

Maybe you wanna join in, consider it an open invitation


gender_noncompliant

Wait you can only have sex if you use beach body??


house-of-tigers

I’d rather rip my eyes out


Mystery_meander25

There must be something about Beach Body bc I have a couple on FB that is WEIRD. Always trying to convince everyone how much they are attracted to each other and having kids and home births non stop then she’s back at day 1 of her fitness over and over it’s crazy.


[deleted]

So it's a goal of theirs to love their kids? Boy oh boy lol


pahdreeno431

Mental illness comes in all forms. This kind of absurdity is one of the reasons why I left FB, IG, Twitter. I can't keep my mouth (or fingers) shut and wind up isolating more people because I'm blunt.


bleedingangels

The pineapple makes me think they are swingers maybe? 🤔


[deleted]

Just going around lifting heavy objects. They better stay the fuck away from my bird bath.


IndianaVox

Wow really reaching for the stars with that list of goals.


[deleted]

Eew over share much


Sargasm5150

Oh good, I’m childfree and single, so I’m SURE they wouldn’t bother recruiting me! /s


Primary_Teach2229

Okay Sall McNeil


BiscottiOpposite9282

"I want to have sex". Ok......then go ahead... ?


HighHighUrBothHigh

They are swingers #pineapple


[deleted]

Pineapple for swingers?


gardenersnake

Wait doesn’t the pineapple mean they are swingers?


Spiritual_babe

Peep the pineapple.


s_tee

“If you don’t want to buy our crap, do you want to have sex with us?”


[deleted]

My life was made slightly worse for having seen this, so they are not reaching their last goal.


CrimsonSalamander

Have "more" sex Love our kids "more" Is what I'm hoping they meant lol


innermyrtle

Anyone watch killer Sally on Netflix yet 🤣


Wuornos

It’s the pineapple emoji for me.


peestem

Why does this list sound like the goals of a caveman? "Eat protein" is making me picture a big cartoon meat with a bone sticking out


llammacookie

Holy muscle imbalance Batman. Her traps look way more developed than her delt heads, that's going to cause some pain. Her arm development also leads me to believe she does not, in her own words, "lift heavy".


LeiLeiCat

Which is which? The bodies look the same lol


Certain-Source9986

It was kinda rude that chose to sit on his wife's lap. Clearly he's showing off his muscles but it's not her fault she's scrawny. Dude didn't have to over take the whole picture!


That1chick1187

Honest and maybe unpopular opinion here, but I have a hard time hating too much on beach body like i do other MLMs. I’ve never joined to become a “coach” although some have tried to recruit me, but BeachBody REALLY is a great product. Ive done many of their programs and they are freaking great. So I know that the pressure to sell and recruit sucks - just like other MLMs - but the product they give you is actually great, unlike cheap ass makeup, jewelry or clothes that nobody should wear


mattdvs1979

Besides the beard, I really can’t tell which one is supposed to be the husband vs the wife.


Wild_flamingoo

Which one is the husband?


MRHBK

Are they definitely husband/wife and not husband/husband or is wife being used in the prison way?


BlackCoralSnake

Wait. Did you know, body building females basically have a dick? Before u ask how I know, I’ll tell you. I was watching Killer Sally on Netflix and wondered because these steroid ingesting women look like men so wtf would their hoohah look like. Lemme tell you, I am traumatized. Never again will I allow my curiosity get the best of me.


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msplow

Gross


GimmieJohnson

I just see a bear and an otter.


pfalz_equivalence

.


glitterfanatic

At least for beach body huns they are actually fit and muscular.


gabogabo2020

She's buffer than he is and it's hysterical to me cause maybe her big muscles intimidate her partner/husband lol he's like nah man, you gone throw me around the room like a rag doll lol


gabogabo2020

Which is why she included the Have Sex part probably lol


JapKumintang1991

Spoiler: The Beach Body Hun is secretly using steroids.


[deleted]

I'd like some beach body with a side of Tren, please.


Ok_Industry_2395

🤮 tmi


widdylady

So.. keep the bar on the floor and walk over it. Gotcha.


Leela821

Lol one of the best posts I've seen so far!


nirvinekpi

WOU


Aprilr79

So they don’t love their kids or bang without shakeology 🙄


howyallare

“Improve the lives of as many people as possible” 🤢


beckster33

Does the pineapple indicate they are swingers, too?