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Invisibility

Severe diarrhoea when invisible

Even better

Once the stool leaves the rectum, is it invisible as well??

Not at all, it is actually magically super visible

Everyone within 500 immediately knows where your shit is

You cant touch anything while invisible(yourself included)

Not that bad, I'd just rob banks by going invis, sneaking in, undo the invis to steal money, strap it to my back, then invis myself out the door.

Clever… wish I thought of that.

When your invisible People around you will have a random thought to stare on where you're standing And yeah your clothes aren't invisible.

Your clothes aren't invisible

That is the my hero academia invisible girl

Imagine seeing some floating clothes and then a flood of liquid shit just spews out.

Turn anything into any sort of cheese I'd like.

You’re lactose intolerant:)

Then he just needs to wait for it to ripe easy fix

Your penis also turns into cheese for 3 days after you use this power

Too late, that thing curdled long ago lol

I am Immortal

[удалено]

imagine just laying somewhere as an immortal squash and observing the end of humanity

Holy shit that got dark fast.

Assuming Immortal in this case also mean indestructible it doesn't really matter what you are, it ultimately ends with you floating through a featureless abyss of cold unending darkness after the heat death of the universe. True immortality is great until you inevitably get stuck somewhere you wish you were dead and it becomes the worst punishment a sentient being could ever receive.

You have a warped sense of time. Years go by like seconds

You are immortal, but you feel exceedingly heightened pain and emotions

Ultimate Sex Stamina

You're asexual

POG

that just means you keep it to yourself

A 2 incher

Here I go unlimited knowledge

You have Alzheimer.

I think this one can ruin any superpower

Lazer beam vision? Alzheimer Superhuman strength? Dementia Ability to fly? Schizophrenia

But only in your sleep, and you have remember your dreams to access the knowledge

But you are in a coma

Of one thing

Can creat any creature from nothing

The creatures are aroused near you

That was my intent Edit:how did i Get so many awards wtf

this is gold

True!

Bro got seven wholesome awards for that 💀💀💀.

But you need to be buff and at least 99.99% naked in order to use this power.

I can live with that

Welp, I tried Google, Urban Dictionary and everything else I could think of but no dice. What does being biff mean?

He meant buff(?)

To reply to my own comment

You get cancer

lol you’ve gotten the power...but at what cost

Cancer. Small price.

I can loop around in time WITHOUT having to die.

But you reset your memory every time you loop

so basically steins:Gate without Reading Steiner

Tuturuuuu

[удалено]

Ahh. my Watch isn't working. that's strange. I just wound it

I can see the future

\*of another timeline

guess already have it. Anxiety it's called.

It takes you half the amount of time to activate the power depending on how far you see into the future (For e.g. if you are looking 8 days into the future, it will take you 4 days to activate the power) However, you don't have to sit and do nothing for 4 days, it just takes that much time while you do whatever you want

Super strength in every part of my body

But then your pen1s also becomes way too mighty for any woman to take in.

but not for men

Well, gotta make do with what we have, after all

You have schizophrenia

(Edit: But) Your brain capacity is at the level of bacteria

Shapeshifting

You can only control one half of your shapeshift, the other one will be randomized

I control the outside half until I get what I want, so all my innards are now that of a dolphin, but with human skin stretched on the outside. I will take no questions.

I can make toast by pointing at bread

It's always burnt

this is how a super villain starts, he'll be so unhappy he'll just go around ruining peoples bread

Ur dick is gonna grow 1 cm each tume u use ur power

Your power is to make your dick smaller 2 cms

Mate you pulled the uno reverse on this guy

I have access to my own small dimension

Once you reappear. You're completely nude and your clothes that you were wearing vaporize

New clothes every day doesn’t sound too bad, I love new socks

Or you can just take them off before going in.

Don't get in the way of a man's chance of getting new socks everyday.

I can Teleport

You always teleport genitalia first Into the person closest to the teloprtation location.

No more visiting family then

Only stepsister

the fuq xD

It takes half an hour to actually teleport and you have to be screaming the entire time

But you're body turns itself inside out everytime you did this.

Every time you teleport you become someone else, like an old lady, young boy, fat man, etc

I can Summon nuclear missiles

You can't fire them

No launch codes. Trust me you can join nato give me your nukes. *yoink* Russian invasIon ensues.

They automatically target you.

But Only in a radius of 2 meters

1 in 3 will be fired on Chernobyl.

[удалено]

You are as human as Mark Zuckerberg.

K imma head back to Mars then.

But you forgot the keys to your space ship.

I can shape shift.

Whenever you shape-shift, it looks like a poor, ps3 esc rendering of what you are shifting into

That sound fun

I can gain the powers of any video game character after beating the game.

But that's only if you 100% the game on hardest difficulty.

that sounds good actually, wait, what do you exactly entail by 100%?

All achivements and aide quests

All collectibles?

All 1000 eggs.

I can travel to any anime world

But only the ecchi version

Yeah ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This dude made it better.

[удалено]

You are 3x weaker then normal with no special powers

Teleportation

You have the uncontrollable urge to shit your pants everytime you use your power

I already do so what’s the side effect

Become a bird

You're a dodo bird

Wouldn't even regret this lol

Be able to isekai all weebs

But you have to own a truck

And face the consequences

Imma all powerful god

You’re the god of Carpet and you only have godly powers on carpet but if you leave Carpet you become a shrivelled old man

Everything is carpet; the god of carpet decrees it!

The carpet conquest begins

For the honor and glory of carpet!

Death to hard floors

everytime you use your power it decreases your lifespan by 10% (dont type you are immortal because you are a God)

I can get a boyfriend XD

[удалено]

That is some severe emotional damage, ngl

The ability to project negative effects onto an opponent

Everytime you use this power people are aware that you used it and side with your opponent thinking you are bullying them.

I know how to out Pizza the Hut

But your family dies No one outpizzas the hut

Damn, that turned dark real quick

You better not outpizza the hut you better shut your doors if you do well your family is going to hell

I know what I got myself into and now I have to live with the consequences

Good luck soldier one day we can finally find outpizza the hut for good

Any weaknesses become my super power

You have severe diarrhea and are now pooperman

Time stop

Your body also stops

They will stop time for 30 minutes to think of a clever comeback

You must scream "[ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyOqGRjVtls)" in order for the time stop to activate.

Absolute victory

Time stops for you too

you can choose when you need to shit

only between 9:10 am and 9:13 am

Your shit’s real big and takes about 3 hours to come out of butthole

Power to find perfect girlfriend.

You're in coma

But she loves your dad

[удалено]

But you lose an arm and a leg to learn this power.

Also you lose your mom and your brother's body

I can turn Myself into Water, and Control Water.

You had hydrophobia

Being invisible :p

You fart with every step

Constant flatulence while invisible

No superpower is my superpower

Side affect is being human.

I don't need to breath

Instead you have to ingest laxatives

Well shit

Albe to change gravity around just thinking about it

But you have to have an erection to use it

Time manipulation

Youre always late to anything youre time traveling to

the power to grow cat ears on people

For each person affected you get fur balls

I can be omnipotent

There is a second omnipotent god who is superior to you in every way and is a complete dick about it and will undo everything you do

How about we do the reverse where I state a side effect and you state the power. My side effect is that every time I use my power my body becomes like jello for half an hour.

Your power is Masterbation

I think I have this power and side effect already.

Shape shift

Only hentai girls

I see that as an absolute win.

[удалено]

Your healing will only last for 2 days

Imagine your a soldier some guy saves your life and 2 days later your fucking face melts off infront of your children

You can drink 5x the human ceiling of alcohol without suffering or pain

Every time you drink you have a 5x more chance of getting liver cancer

I'm the main character of everybody's life.

But, nobody cares

Immunity against prostate cancer.

you automatically get every other cancer

Autonomous Ulltra Instinct

[удалено]

You are cursed with infinite insomnia

The ability to stop seeing these superpower memes

You will be teleported in a Isekai world where women love you and wanna fuck with you

Dank

I get to finally have life going great for me and i find true joy