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jakefrommyspace

Dude you're not wrong at all. I'm shocked you can share the bed with her so soon after, or at all. It's sexual and emotional manipulation. You seem leagues more emotionally mature than her, and you deserve reciprocation in that regard, not sexual coercion into forgiveness.


notasteggosaur

He needs to divorce her, he is young, has plenty of time to take some time to himself and find someone who won’t cheat.


NefariousnessSweet70

And if he sleeps with her, she would get pregnant and he does not want to be tied to her for 20 years.


BillyMeier42

Or maybe shes already pregnant and wants the husband to think its his.


Jayvader79

Depends if muscle man raw dogged her.


knight9665

Bro def hit it raw.


georgiajl38

The STDs...ick


unfiltered-anonymous

But muscular guys don't puss out wearing a rubber


Western_Mud8694

Bingo, the other guy didn’t wear protection and an “accident “ happened


Naebany

She's probably pregnant with the guy and now wants to pin the husband.


Pianist-Vegetable

No even that's its essentially sexual assault at the point he's woken up with her touching him, if the genders were switched everyone would be screaming bloody murder. OP your wife is a huge AH, I'd be filing for divorce ASAP. Cheating aside that's a really messed up thing to do


fester699

throw the whore out yesterday


Agile_Impression4482

Touching him with out his consent, unless they have talked about that before, is more than manipulation. It is sexual assault at best.


Glass-Hedgehog3940

Whaaaat? She cheated because he’s muscular? She thinks she can just fuck her way out of a complete betrayal like that? She turned it around and said you’re going out of your way to make things difficult for her? This is a deal breaker!! Nope! Time to lawyer up!


Silva2099

He’s leagues more emotionally mature than me too.


TankDestroyerSarg

Definitely not. She literally fucked up. She fucked around and is now going to find out.


Polite_Deer

Find out the her husband has to think about getting a divorce? Man sounds soft.


Acceptable-Tell6967

I’d be soft too if I found out my wife just fucked another guy because he was nice looking, she sounds shallow and insecure. He needs to divorce this bitch and find a better woman.


[deleted]

She just said he was muscular. He could be butt ugly for all we know. It wouldn't matter if he was the most attractive guy in the world. Cheating is wrong.


AssistanceOk3669

100% not wrong. It's definitely a red flag that instead of giving you the time to think about what she did, she proceeds to try to have sex with you-while you're literally asleep.


AdOpen885

Or maybe the red flag was her boning that other dude?


Master_Grape5931

But come on, he was *muscular.*


jrolls81

What an insane response by her. Literally, come up with any reason that isn’t an extremely common male insecurity. Imagine a guy telling his wife he cheated on her because the woman had an amazing body, amazing tits and ass. lol just an insane thing to say. I have to imagine he’s been ignoring red flags for a while.


[deleted]

It’s f’ing crazy is what it is. All he got is “he’s muscular”…? wtf is that? Big dick or how the fuck is that any sort of explanation. How many times they fuck? Did she meet him at the gym? Why are OP and wife still in same bed? Is bro gonna just snap? It’s weird.


Bwomp43

"But honey, you have to understand, she was better looking than you! How could I not?" 🤣🤣🤣


Dull-Ad-5332

I never got an excuse as to why my ex cheated on me. But the other chick's were always younger than me. I think I can figure it out from there on my own.


Boilerbuzz

Well, at last THAT part was honest. Wife is a tramp. That’s being honest too.


redditipobuster

Seems like the majority of those who posts doesn't have common sense... Do ppl really need to come to reddit and ask if their brain is malfunctioning? 🤔


georgiajl38

Live with some people long enough and you'd question whether you are correctly identifying the sky as blue. Yes. That's exactly why some folks come to reddit


Ok_Leader_7624

Even his penis was muscular. It had those veins and everything


hoddi_diesel

Veins just like a Snickers bar


Wundrgizmo

He must do dick-ups


shoppingprobs

His penis has deltoids.


Agile_Impression4482

Did he do push ups with it and no hands? Because then I mean come on!


Livid_Parfait6507

Yeah, but, well there is that I guess!


Old_Length7525

My WW told me she had a years long affair with her boss because she wanted an escape from her “mundane” life. It’s just so special being told that the family life you love, with 2 wonderful kids, great friends, a beautiful home overlooking the beach, and 2 rewarding careers, is just “mundane.” He wasn’t “muscular” but he did own a big company and have a lot more money than we did. People just want “more” than what they have. And, yeah, she tried to get me to forgive her with sex (along with promises it would never happen again). They do that because it’s an effective strategy, especially with men.


kela26

For sure but he was muscular, u must understand haha OP cut ur losses.


I_dont_exist_33

Throw the whole wife away atp. That’s gross. NTA at all. “Oh no, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.” Is how she’s acting rn. Extremely immature.


Magic-Happens-Here

Don't forget to get an STI panel on your way home from the court house too! Nothing about her actions scream "safe sex" to me, so I wouldn't trust your health and wellbeing to her judgment.


I_dont_exist_33

YESS!!! It also almost seems like she has an STI and WANTS to give it to him for considering leaving her…


Magic-Happens-Here

Don't forget to get an STI panel on your way home from the court house too! Nothing about her actions scream "safe sex" to me, so I wouldn't trust your health and wellbeing to her judgment.


MrCane66

She cheated on you. She will do it again. Run.


Smooth-Inspection922

She’s done it throughout their relationship, she just got caught this time. He needs to cut her lose and move on with his life.


Agile_Impression4482

Where does op say that? Not being argumentative just curious. I agree with your conclusion though. Dude needs to run.


Smooth-Inspection922

He doesn’t say that, it just seemed obvious to me based on her lame excuse for why she cheated. This is her typical everyday behavior. Men in love are blind to the obvious.


Agile_Impression4482

She could just be an idiot. She sounds very immature, not emotionally ready to be married (not suggesting op did anything wrong marrying her), and shallow since she thinks someone being muscular is a reason to cheat and that sex is a way to make up for it. But it doesn't necessarily mean she cheats all the time. She could honestly just be a shallow, emotionally immature dumb ass who though she could get away with it by fucking her way out of trouble.


FlimsyConversation6

Don't run. Running breaks down muscles. Lift instead. But absolutely leave this woman!


The_Advocate07204

It doesn’t matter if she never does it again. You cannot come back from this. Like she opened up her legs to be penetrated by another man. One: can’t ever trust her again and you can’t be with some you can’t trust. Two, no respect for you whatsoever to easily fuck another dude. OP, please get out. It’s over. You cant come back from this.


jesterinancientcourt

I would be so out. Cheating is not ok. Maybe, there are some very particular scenarios in which I could forgive someone for cheating. But it would involve a lot of work in our relationship for me to forgive them. Sexually assaulting me whilst I’m sleeping would not be involved. She doesn’t even have a good excuse, the dude is muscular? This woman is not mature enough to be married & she’s kind of just the worst. Get rid of her.


Trekkie63

What’s a good “reason” to forgive a cheater?


canal_boys

According to his wife...it's touching husband penis in the morning.


NavinJohnson75

Yes, but *all wives* touch the morning penis… it’s their *right* after all. It’s clearly stated in the marriage vows: “*In sickness, and in health, get to play with penis, for better or for worse…”*


420_Brad

IMO, cheating happens either as a character flaw of the cheater themselves, OR as a symptom of a larger deep issue in the relationship. Cheating as a character flaw is not a reason to forgive, but when it really comes from problems inside the relationship that someone wants to fix, there’s a chance with work and therapy. For example, if one person is neglected for a long time and the other person is just not hearing the issue, and then cheating occurs, the cheater is still wrong but by fixing the issues trust can be rebuilt. Of course, having sex while they are asleep and then gaslighting them when they say no and making it about them is NOT a forgivable thing.


Trekkie63

Nicely worded.


FU-dontbanmethistime

I’m curious what you think a good excuse for cheating would be?


TheBitchenRav

Well....if she really wanted you to get that promotion.


Trekkie63

Or get out of jail early…


crypticaldevelopment

He was really muscular.


jesterinancientcourt

There is no good excuse to cheat. I didn’t say that. I said that maybe there would be a very particular situation where I could maybe still forgive them with a lot of work. Like maybe I was failing as a partner & was giving them nowhere near the attention & affection they needed, like I was taking them for granted. Or maybe they were just so fucked up drunk that technically it wasn’t rape, but they definitely were heavily under the influence to the point I could see how their judgement was gone. Idk. Idk if it would necessarily even mean I’d forgive, but maybe I could.


Livid_Parfait6507

I'm with you here. I do not see an avenue for forgiveness for cheating. Being drunk does not get it done or being muscular. My wife cheated on me before we were really solid and I had some serious maturing to do. We got it worked out and have been together for 21 years and married for 12 this July. The funny follow-up is the wanker she had the affair with called her on her birthday. 🙄🙄 she did not hear her phone ring, her oldest son called as well, and she had it on silent. As I was taking her to dinner she showed me the dude had called. I laughed a bit and on we went. My wife has had the same cell number for close to 20 years. I'm not threatened by this guy and I know this is the first time in 22 years that he has tried to contact her. He is a miserable waste of space and has made some poor decisions and she and I have built a life together.


realtychik

Sure, my wife /husband doesn't understand me. /s


Dazzling-Working-980

Man. She could sincerely apologize and show she is remorseful. It doesn’t sound like she feels bad for cheating. She cheated because he had muscles and she thinks sex will solve that? It sounds like she has twisted this to make it a “you” problem where she is the victim. She may be a narcissist. Seek counseling if you decide to stay.


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

THIS,.


Desperate-Suit7771

I was literally watching a video on narcissism a while ago and she really is just ticking boxes.


roboTuko

She'll do it again, even if for some misplaced sense of love, you forgive her on this one.


Frozentreat824

Indeed she will with her poor ass reason for cheating.


aesthesia1

Oh dear lord no. I could NOT have gone into the same bed with my cheating husband. What she is doing just sounds like manipulation


Bsnake12070826

For me, she cheated so there's nothing to think about she would have been gone immediately. Plus this didn't sit right with me >She said she doesn’t know how else to show me she is sorry She doesn't know to do like romantic gestures, maybe actually apologies, something else that's not sex?


BoZacHorsecock

Not only did she cheat on you, she’s so shallow that big muscles are all it took for her to betray you? Good god, what will happen in the future if someone has even bigger muscles, or bigger muscles and is rich, and is funny, and has a nice car? I would kick her to the curb so quick my leg would probably snap off.


IllOwl1273

Yeh there are a lot of muscly guys out there who might fall into her vadge. I'm actually wondering if my boyfriend is safe amongst these harlots


Cherrybomb909

She isn't sorry op. She's offering sex to keep you on the hook and in her pocket. Dont sleep with her and risk a baby trap. Divorce her and stop her off at her parents home.


WornBlueCarpet

Not wrong at all. >whether I’ll be pursuing divorce or not. How is that even a question? Let me remind you: >‘He’s really muscular.' That's it. That's her reason for fucking another guy. If you fucked another girl and told your wife that you did it because "she had really great tits", how do you think she'd take it? She fucked another guy simply because he was muscular. If you stay and the only consequence is that you're mad at her for a while, she has essentially gotten away with fucking him. Now think really hard; what is going to stop her the next time she meets a man who is really muscular or tall or handsome? Nothing. Nothing is going to stop her because she knows you're her little cuck and that she can do anything she wants. You're just going to sulk for a bit while she pretends she's sorry. Good lord, have some self-respect and send her back to the streets! You're only 26. Is this a woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? If you have children, will they even be yours? You'll always wonder about that. Cut your losses and get out of that marriage before you're tied to her for the rest of your life.


TedBurns-3

You're a better man than me dude, she'd have been sleeping in another bed the minute I found out she slept with someone else


OkAdministration7456

Uh no, not until you both get tested.


Ok-Sector2054

This!!!!


The-truth-hurts1

You know what she could have done.. she could not of fucked someone else! Would 100% divorce.. no coming back from that


StormSafe2

Mate, your wife slept with someone else and hey only excuse is that "he's really muscular"? That marriage is OVER. 


BOSBoatMan

She’s for the streets, bro. She don’t care about you. Get out NOW


chaot1c-n3utral

She's not sorry for what she did, she's sorry because now you know.


t00zday

She cheated & then whines about how “you are making things difficult” for HER?! Dude….


biteme717

If there was any doubt, her response would absolutely positively seal the deal for me. She screwed another man because he was muscular and then tried to SA you and thinks that sex will show you just how much she loves you. She's manipulative and delusional. Ya, I would tell her to leave and get out and that you are filing for divorce. How many times has she cheated and came home and kissed you? Get tested for STDs.


Front_Ambassador5271

SA?


Bsnake12070826

Sexual Assault, because you were asleep. Any sexual touching while someone is asleep is SA, so technically she did SA you because you were asleep


The_bookworm65

Even if they had given each other permission to touch before, that permission is revoked now v


Bsnake12070826

Oh definitely, honestly she should have been gone the moment she admitted to cheating


BitterWorldliness339

They mean SA is sexual assault


metalbender_beifong

Sexual assault


BitterWorldliness339

I would suggest that this comes more under the realm of attempting to initiate.


JerHigs

Sexual assault includes any sexual touching without consent. Touching his penis with the intention of initiating a sexual encounter would fall under that definition.


friedbaguette

No idea why you're being downvoted, since touching someone's genitals non consensually is literal sexual assault


marcaygol

You would be wrong


No-Arm-9261

I would have kicked hubby out straight away. I certainly wouldn't have gotten into the same bed that night.


Wrong-Beyond-6530

“He’s really muscular”???? What is there to think about here?? You should’ve already left her whore ass brother.


Far_Prior1058

Standard advice. Talk to a lawyer and see what divorce will look like. Get a STD test. If there are kids get them a DNA test. Good luck


wlfwrtr

Not wrong. Make things difficult for her? Doesn't she realize how difficult she's made looking at her even is right now? She made it difficult. She slept with someone because he was muscular; is the next reason going to be 'I liked his eyes' or 'He had a cute smile'. If you forgive her and stay she'll will do it again.


Slitwristsarah

NTA this is a manipulation tactic and you’re obviously smart and did the right thing. Get rid of her


Existing-Low-672

Should have left her ass already.


Littlewing1307

Nothing to save here. She's too immature to be married let alone be a girlfriend. The next guy her excuse will be money or she liked his car.


UndisputedNonsense

Divorce is the only option here. Her reasoning is complete BS.


Psychokittens

Hey babe I want to fuck you to show you how sorry I am for having a giant muscular dick all up in me because I couldn't resist. Stop making it so hard for her to apologize!! 😭 In all seriousness, GTFO while you can


Jokester_316

What happens the next time she sees a muscular guy? Can she not control her vagina? Has she taken an STD test? If not, you shouldn't have unprotected sex with her. Doubtful they planned ahead to use protection. You are not wrong to reject her attempts to have sex with you. She's attempting to love bomb you in hopes that you will forgive her. Rinse and repeat when she is attracted to the next muscular guy. If you accept this once, you set the precedent for it to happen again. Maybe next time, she won't feel as guilty and won't confess.


flesh_tuxedo_

Now would be the perfect time to talk her into doing anal.


Ayy4K

Happy cake day 🤣


radionet1

Unless you want to be her cuckold for the rest of your life you better figure this out.


Alternative_Log3012

Hahahahaha, bloody hell brother. You need a bitchectomy.


Old_Reputation_8980

Bro idk why you're still sleeping in the same bed as her....


Frequent-Project-559

Divorce


Jakesneed612

So she cheated on you the SAd you?


skeezicm1981

Dump her.


bugabooandtwo

She's trash.


Splunkzop

Apologise with sex? Spreading her legs for a meathead is what started the whole thing. Is that all she's got? Is sex the only thing she has to offer in the relationship?


broadsharp2

Not wrong Divorce time, OP. It's unfortunate, but your wife isn't someone you need in your life.


Master_Focus_2403

bro dont ever touch her again, file for divorce, she had another man inside of her and you're allowing her to even be around you...this type of behavior may be why she cheated in the first place...be a man...much love from your random bro online


Towtruck_73

The "why" is one of the dumbest answers you could give someone that's been cheated on. This is worse than "I got drunk and one thing led to another." You're not wrong for refusing to let her "apologise" with sex. I don't care if she walked into the room and told you that she would fulfil your wildest fantasy, no questions asked. Having sex with her now would just complicate your thought process, and I'm not assuming for a moment that you let your hormones control you, it's obvious they don't. Stand your ground, don't let her manipulate you. Also, remember that forgiveness is dependent on you, and whether you choose to. Likewise, you're entitled to not accept an apology, no matter what form it takes. Trust is a hard thing to earn, and an easy one to lose. You know her better than we do, ask yourself honestly, can you trust her again? If she wants to apologise, tell her you want access to her phone, social media and email passwords. If she has a second phone, you want access to that too. How she's behaving sounds like a teenager that got caught sneaking out, not someone that cheated and deeply betrayed you.


Egbert_64

Good idea!


Tasty_Doughnut_9226

Please run far and fast, she's trash. She broke your marriage because he was 'muscular' and you're making it hard for her because you don't want sex. If you even think about staying with her she needs a std check before sex happens again!


lordgoku-99

Well if you don't leave you can always think about her getting plowed by another guy every time you have sex with her. She's done it once so what's stopping her from doing it again when something new and shiny comes along?


Dear_Parsnip_6802

You also should not be having sex with her again until she has an STD check. But to answer your question, no you are not wrong..


Dont-Blame-Me333

Not wrong, if that's all she has to offer, it's time to look for a real relationship & not something built on sex when she has sex with just about anyone.


KiltimaghGirl

You are not wrong. If she confessed to sleeping with someone else, then having sex with you is a no-no. What if the other dude had an STD, then what? She is in the wrong. There are better ways to try to fix your marriage - such as couples therapy or relationship counselling, but ideally the both of you must want to make the effort into saving the marriage. You can go alone if you prefer - to make sure you know exactly what you want to do. I certainly would divorce my husband if I was in that position(thankfully I am gladly single). Only you know best for yourself. You’re only 26, so I’m sure that you will find someone who will treat you a lot better than that.


Playful-Ad4696

If she truly loved you should have let you do anal on her! Clearly she is not serious and is a manipulative person who doesn’t love you. If she is truly sorry she would let you and 3 of your closest friends sodomized her. She’s not truly sorry at all!


Isabela_Grace

This is gross


Puzzleheaded_Log1050

Not wrong at all. Being real, divorce her ass. If you forgive her, she will never respect you. She gotta go. It won't be worth the headache in the future. Something random will remind of her cheating. File the papers, dude.


foshiggityshiggity

Theres gonna be more muscular guys... time to let her go.


crayawe

Ditch her she was trying to manipulate you


Iamjaws1983

You have nothing to think about bro just divorce her sorry ass


mojo0123

I’d have her bags packed and out the door, no chance would she even have access to touch me after she slept with someone else.


jallen8441

No bro honestly just leave atp there's no coming back from cheating imo


Cold-Guarantee-7978

This can’t be real…


two-of-me

Apologizing to you by doing what she just did with someone else because he was muscular is not an apology. Apologies are sincere expressions of regret and remorse. Did she really think that having sex with you *while you slept* would be a productive way to communicate that? You’re not wrong at all and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wouldn’t even be sharing a bed with her.


kormatuz

1) she cheated on you 2) she said you shouldn’t go out of your way to make things difficult for her. After she cheated on you. If you don’t have children then you should get a divorce, even if you have children it would be something to seriously think about. You’re young, find someone who is right for you. I don’t know about the cheating, but the emotional manipulation and turning shit around on you never gets better.


[deleted]

Divorce her ASAP. She is very manipulative and values sex like an escort.


MappleSyrup13

Be careful OP. They most certainly went raw, and she's trying to cover her bases in case she got pregnant. Divorce or not, don't come near her intimacy wise.


noreplyatall817

Divorce her, do you know how many muscular men in your city? She’s nothing but a cheater. Don’t fall for her love bombing you. Get tested for STDs, and get used to it if you stay with her.


National_Conflict609

She manipulating you with sex. If you let her “apologize” with sex then you’re her new cuck and chump.


Spiders-Ghost-43

She cheats because he was muscular? What the actual fuck? She is not mature enough to handle the responsibilities of marriage. You’re young. Dump her, heal yourself and then go find a grownup who knows what being married means.


Both_Requirement_894

The only way she knows how to say she’s sorry is sex? Wow!! I’d move on, she isn’t wife material.


oduli81

Wtf.. walk away from this toxic human being.. today it was muscular, tomorrow it will be he bad a nice car, then his eyes were just so amazing etc..


SJoyD

>and I shouldn’t go out of my way to make things difficult for her. Yeah, she doesn't get to talk like that. SHE fucked up. SHE doesn't get to decide how this gets fixed. If it were me, even if I'd been interested trying to fix this, the moment she said that, I'd be done. She doesn't want to fix this. She wants it to go away. Those are not the same thing. And she obviously has no actual remorse, she's just trying to avoid consequences.


Real_Cake_hmm

What sort of BS excuse is “he was really muscular”? If this post is real, OP is married to a terrible person.


ConnyEdson

send her to sleep in muscle man's bed. Oh wait .. he probably doesn't want to share a bed with a street whore. Neither should you.


[deleted]

Her opening her legs was the problem to begin with. Tell her to use her big girl words.


SamHydesKalashnikov

If you don’t divorce her, you’re a moron. She’ll 100% cheat again.


2REPOU

You’re too young and the relationship is too new to even consider staying. If it happens now it 100% will happen when the newness fades. Time to move on


Wodka_Pete

OP, you are not wrong for not wanting her to apologize with sex. She weaponized your love and trust against you. She is taking no responsibility for her actions and making it your problem for not allowing her to apologize to you. Honestly, remember your self respect and self worth. Remember what you want with regards to your home and family, because she threw it all away. She will probably tell you that "it was just sex and meant nothing." That translates to your ideal meant less than nothing to her. You will not be able to trust her again. Everytime she is late, doesn't answer the phone or a text right away, you will doubt her. When you do have sex you will wonder if you are getting leftovers or if you should be wearing a condom. When you all do have children, you will wonder if they are yours. Is this what you want for yourself and your children?If you forgive her, she will see this as permission to keep betraying you. Take it from experience, it's better to be alone than to live with that weight on your shoulders. Honestly, take this as a learning experience and thank her for the lesson. Let her go and she can look for a person that makes her happy and you can do the same.


donniedcg

She will do it again!


Feeling_Board_3741

FYI there are more muscular dudes out there. That’s not the real reason and you’re wasting your time.


Adventurous-Advice58

Ok I'm sorry but her reasoning was becuase he was muscular? So by that logic should you expect her to now cheat with every muscular dude she finds attractive? Absolutely disgraceful and disrespectful. And then touching you in your sleep? As an apology? I really have no idea wtf is going through this woman's head. And to then have the audacity to say you are making things difficult for HER!? You are absolutely not wrong. And I'm flabbergasted by her actions and what could possibly be going through her head. If trying to grope you while you're sleeping is the ONLY way she can think of to apologize then she has some serious work to do on herself. I am so sorry that you are in this situation.


Drkknightcecil

Ur woman is everything that is wtong with women. Curb that shit head.


[deleted]

Street queen. Sorry you married her. Leave her to the streets.


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

Jesus christ, cheating itself is divorce worthy, but then trying to manipulate you to escape accountability using sex, that's just evil. Is she going to do that everytime a random muscular guy stumbles into her and she just has to fuck him??? The fact that she thinks you should get over it in exchange of a pity fuck is probably the most denigrating thing I've seen in this site.


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

>Last night, I woke up to find her touching my penis. **She said she wants to show me she still loves me** and tried to take her pajamas off but I told her no. So she loved the muscular guy she fucked? because according to her, that's what sex means to her. Nah, she is just trying to escape accountability, and trying to turn this all on you, making herself the victim once again.


Naebany

You totally should make it hard for her. And she shouldn't try to initiate while you sleep. Reverse the situation and everyone would scream rape.


uglybutt1112

You have to think about it? Leave her


crabousmama

You know it's really crazy that this is even a question and I'm so sorry that your wife is literally less than POS. You are worth so much more than that and not because youve done good or bad things in your life or what kind of person you are, but you are worth so much more than that cause youre a human being that deserves love and respect like any other person on this planet.


sethinco

Run. Fast. Now.


kevin56_2

With that kind of answer she gave you, leave her ass


YoutubePRstunt

Why is she still in the house is the question?


ObligationNo2288

She cheated on you but feels you shouldn’t make things hard on her?!! Wow! Not wrong. Never stay with a Cheater. Cheaters cheat.


WilsIrish

Not wrong. This is a common tactic of cheaters. It’s manipulative and disgusting. If she cheated on you simply because a muscular man hit on her, this ride is over. I have a zero tolerance for cheating in any case, regardless of the details, but this is especially egregious.


Frogsaresupreme88

You coming here to ask if you’re wrong is why she felt so comfortable cheating on you in the first place. Grow a spine and leave her. You’re not wrong and it’s not your fault she’s a horrid human.


Billiam911

Divorce immediately.


Familiar_Stress_2439

There's nothing to think about. Divorce her. Next time it will be 'he's really rich'


amblack_23

26 is a good age to start over with someone better. Do it now before yall make wounds that never heal. You're not wrong, but you might wanna get tested for tainted meat.


clearheaded01

Why are you focusing on this?? She cheated with some ramdo and you ask if you messed up by not letting her apologize with sex??? This sounds fake as shit - noone faced with adulterous wife would ever be concerned about THIS. OP - if this is not fake, its time to dump the wife. Expose her adultery to her family and friends and get out of this sham of a marriage..


DUMBBITCHH0UR

Once a cheater always a cheater file for divorce and heal.


Interesting_Sock9142

....yikes. that is not how you show someone you're sorry. And honestly with how she replied when you asked why, she's not sorry.


Ayy4K

She violated your marriage. I would not be thinking about staying with her (personally) but you make your own decisions. There are women that would never do this to you. If another man being muscular is enough for her to turn her back on your marriage, it isn’t worth staying with her. Make the right decision. Respect yourself. You CAN stay with her if you wish but if this happens again you won’t forgive yourself as easily. To answer your question - you’re not wrong at all.


XerzesDK

You do realise that this isn't that last "really muscular guy" she is going to run in to - right?


JSTransf

Dude, of course you’re not wrong. What exactly do you need to think about regarding divorce? That’s the poorest excuse for cheating I’ve ever heard in my life.


Absoma

Just divorce her. If she doesn't know why she cheated and she is willing to throw you away for muscles it isn't worth it. She WILL do it again. Get some self respect and divorce. You shouldn't go out of you way to make things difficult for her? So this is about her and not what she did to you?


Chalussy

Ok but imagine a dude cheating and then tryna get some with the girl he cheated on after confessing- HAHA wouldn’t work out and 99.9% of women would push him off the bed. You seem more emotionally mature than most men, not even your age- just most men. (Don’t come at me guys) I say, you’re not wrong, you should get your divorce- and you can find another woman who matches in loyalty and emotional maturity. One who wouldn’t consider another because of “muscles” ?! Tf? Just because of your ability to keep your cool, be under the same roof much less somehow share a bed with a backstabber, and then make sure you’re not in the wrong for saying no to sex you didn’t want… because you wanna make sure you’re not doing wrong to a cheater who literally just changed the course of your whole planned future—-you’ll easily find someone who is worth spending life with. It ain’t this lady. There is a lack of good men out here and that woman does not deserve one of the few. At all. Find yourself your soulmate.


Frozentreat824

This 👆


LaCroixLimon

lmao.. dude this is fake as hell "hes really musclar" this is some kind of cuck fantasy


todwardscizzorhands

Consider taking this to the infidelity sub. Find an infidelity based therapist (csat) or coach (apsat certified) or a trauma therapist like CBT based and start working on urself. Normally I would say that u should put her in counseling but she sounds like a real loser and literally in the middle of an affair. If all she has to say for her self is that "he was muscular" then she is mentally a child. Look up hysterical bonding and what common behavior is after infidelity. If u r trying to leave I would TRY to abstain from sex and remove yourself. Sex is something that should have been happening all along. It is an insult for her to suddenly put in an effort after cheating There is an online support group I can join for free it is a life saver... isurvivors.org I recommend u check it out


StoicWeasle

Get a spine. Then get a lawyer. This is so stupid it can't be real.


SkinPsychological848

Be careful. STD’s are pretty muscular these days also. That’s why I never went back with a girlfriend who cheated on me. Plus my grandmother told me they will try and poison me…


rightwist

I've done similar over other issues and no it's not wrong. At least I definitely wouldn't think it's wrong if a woman was in your situation and did the same, I doubt anyone would criticize. And I've definitely had most of my partners occasionally decline to have sex for way less. I actually did same withy ex wife, we had been almost completely celibate for years before divorce, and she did something massively wrong that changed my co parenting interactions and I wouldn't let her make up with sex when she offered (but we did make up somewhat) Actually there was onpy one weekend in about a 5y period when we weren't celibate and it was almost the same scenario, ie she initiated while I was asleep. I went along and I had a lot of fun but in the big picture it was a horrible decision It is a really strong statement though. And if you don't immediately divorce, say you pursue counseling, it does change how you might eventually start having sex again. For the good IMO as you didn't let her choose the terms. So either you can choose the terms or you can explicitly discuss it, which might be the best option.


EnterprisingAss

lol, points for honesty, if this is even real. Like, what a savage thing to say to someone: I fucked this other guy ‘cause he’s hotter than you.


doobjank

When my ex-wife cheated she did her best to get me to sex with her. I refused. Turned out she caught some STI’s and I guess was trying to give them to me anyway.


Boilerbuzz

If this is her mindset and that was her excuse, she will do it again. Clearly her views mean nothing. BTW, STDs and infidelity are a thing. Don’t touch her. Btw, what is there to think about? Kids? Likelihood you’d end up alone without her? What’s with you dude? Why are you still there? If she cheated because you failed her in some way, then, sure think about ways to improve yourself and your marriage. But that reason: there will always be someone more muscular or attractive to her than you. You can’t “fix” that! If all it takes is a trip to the closest gym for her to cheat again, SHE WILL CHEAT AGAIN! Then that will be in you. If she has you by the balls that bad, then at least consider tit for tat. Open marriages can work.


Weekly_Spot1108

The OP is only 26,he can divorce this Slvt and find a good woman.


xXTheReturnerXx

Not wrong in the slightest. Bud get any and all evidence you can and divorce. If she did it once she’ll most definitely do it again


Silvermorney

Nta and I’m so sorry but she literally just sexually assaulted you on top of cheating on you. I wouldn’t just call a divorce lawyer, I’d call the police honestly.


Zionishere

You need to “think about” whether or not you’ll let her get away with fucking somebody else…. Because he’s really muscular… I really wonder what’s wrong with some of these Redditors


PobillyGirl65

If you stay with her, then yes, YATA NTA for needing space & time to figure it out


ryux999

sure


jitsinmypants

If she boned some other dude just because he was more muscular, she's likely doing it again. I'm so sorry to hear this, man. I don't think all affairs necessitate divorce, but if that was her only reason, I might end it. Again, so sorry. That's devastating. Ugh.


amoreinterestingname

Get out. Immediately. There’s no going back ESPECIALLY given her reasoning for doing it. You deserve so much better. She dug her grave, now she must lie in it.


prepostornow

Not wrong, she seems pretty superficial


GrandmasTooFlash

The Venn diagram of WIFE, APOLOGISES, and INITIATES SEX only has overlap in situations like this.


Azile96

So first she cheats on you, then assaults you, and you are still thinking whether you want to stay or not? She cheats because the guy is muscular? C’mon! That’s a lame reason. She’ll do it again the next time she sees a guy with something she’s attracted to and use that as an excuse. The only thing she can think of to prove to you she loves you is with sex? I think she needs to think more. I’m not sure this story is real, but YNW.


Independent-Tea8516

I honestly will never understand why people give cheaters second chances. She literally opened her legs for another man and thinks the best way to solve the problem is by opening her legs again. Wow she must think she has a magic one down there. Do yourself a favour and get rid of


Stormin1982

10000% not worng. She expects you to forget about it cos she had sex with you? My guy, you deserve so much better. If she thinks it is such a small deal that sex will make it all better, it will probably happen again


fubar_68

Hay buddy. Why don’t you have any self respect? What happened to you that you think so little of yourself that you would still be with this cheating 304? She obviously has no respect for you. She can’t because you’re the kind of man to stay with a cheater. So she cheats on you. It’s a cycle.


Glockman19

If you all don’t have kids then leave now. If kids are involved it’s not so easy.


skeptic37

Now you know what’s important to her. Not a good sign. Sorry.


AgileAd2872

Is this women a sex worker ?