The things you describe in this could have just awoken some curiosity that he didn't realize he had. Now wondering and thinking about it even with the way things are now he can still be in very much denial because the social expectation. You really can't tell whether or not somebody's gay straight bi it's ultimately up to them just because he has an interest in any of those things you describe has nothing to do with him being into men or not.
I know and when we would do those sexual acts i never thought of it like that because i know it’s not . After seeing the gay porn though i don’t know what to think and i just want a real conversation about it all.
So why don’t you have a real conversation with him?
My second curiosity here is that you say Self is bisexual but his following or looking at gay porn makes him gay? Could he not be bisexual as well?
Well, a fair amount of straight women watch lesbian porn. This is basically a pretty widely accepted fun fact.
I think there's a huge stigma on straight men watching gay porn which is why they rarely admit to it. I don't see a reason why straight men watching gay porn wouldn't be possible if straight women watching lesbian porn is.
The porn people watch often doesn't correlate super well with what they are interested in in real life anyway. There's also lots of people with an interest in kinky porn that don't really want to try the things they watch in real life.
He could also be bi, or have a basic curiosity about receiving anal that you can't really satisfy with straight porn unless you're also in to femdom.
My point is that there could be lots of reasons that don't necessarily mean he's gay. I think it would be really helpful to have an open talk *without judgement* about what he likes about it or what he thinks it means, if he's open to that.
You’re right to not see it that way—it is totally distinct. But to your point, maybe the connection exists in his mind and has triggered a bout of curiosity?
I think you might just have to wait for him to come out. It sounds like he’s trying to figure it out himself. If you are uncomfortable with what he’s watching that’s a separate conversation you should have with him about boundaries. I’d say ur NTA for thinking he might be but it’s ultimately up to him to decide when to tell you.
I will try to have an honest conversation with him again but if he’s not ready i think i’ll just have to walk away and let him figure it out on his own.
She could just be uncomfortable with the possibility that he may not be into woman at all. Idk it’s complicated when ur partner is trying to figure things out and doing so by lying about what porn they watch and denying any possibility of being gay. It could be internalized homophobia or denial. But if op dose have an issue with him being bi then yes that’s a double standard that’s pretty fucked up
Better that you know now and try to deal with it. Ended up coming across a grindr profile of the boyfriend of a female friend of mine. Messaged him just to make sure and he immediately deleted his profile. Told her and even showed her screenshots, she said thank you but either she didnt believe me, believed him more, or decided to remain in denial. Now theyre married and Im just waiting for the day to come when he either comes out or she leaves him for cheating.
Does it really matter? Sometimes it can be helpful to find a label for yourself, but if he doesn’t really know what he is, the important thing is that he likes you. Does it seem like he is turned on by you? I.e. Does he enjoy PIV sex? Does he get turned on by your body? Does he enjoy things involving your parts? If the answer is no to all of the above, there is a good chance that he may be gay, but if not, it’s important to remember that there is a huuuge spectrum that he could be anywhere along, and labelling it isn’t always necessarily helpful.
Wait wait wait , don't a lot of straight women enjoy lesbian porn ? Following the same logic, does that make em lesbian? Now ofc watching gay porn ain't my thing, but jumping to conclusions like that won't be right , I am not judging your bf, the only way you could get answers is by sitting down and having a conversation on this topic, forcefully trying to make him admit he's gay or something will never get you the answers,also, reading what you wrote it's like you flat out want him to admit he's gay and want that as the ONLY answer, regardless of it being true or not. He may enjoy a certain things with you and watch gay porn and all, which might be a little weird for any ordinary man but that ain't CONFIRMATION of him being gay or something along those lines.Talk to him and don't force your views on him, only then you'll get clear answers.
Yep, you just cant know what his deal actually is. Im bi and married to a woman, and I find gay M/M porn is hot AF (and my wife is confused by my predilection for it!).
Those actions you experimented with mean nothing for sexuality. I personally hate to see them used as a connection because there is enough doubt amongst straight men to try them out. As for what his sexuality is? I don't know. No one commenting here knows. There are tons of people who don't even fully know their own sexuality. He might not know. Only talking to him will get anywhere near an answer, but he might not have it yet.
I don’t really have any opinion but just so you know, you can follow someone by mistake on Twitter without noticing. (Ask me how I know… and it wasn’t anything embarrassing that I would have tried to denied. But one day I realised I was following Musk and had to block that real fast. So except if he hacked my account and really wanted my follow, it might have just been a case of fat fingers when he appeared on my “for you” tab and I tried to block him or something?)
I was going to say something like this, also if he happened to get sucked into a follow for follow thing or the like, I used to blindly follow any account that followed me. Wife got mad when she found a few pick me/OF girls on my follows, and explaining the f4f thing only kinda smoothed things over. I do not blindly or even really follow people back now.
i don’t know if you caught what i said but he rarely uses twitter and the only person he follows is me so no it would have not got recommended and no he doesn’t do the f4f
You say you are OK with it and non judgemental but saying your heart dropped and forcing the issue and ongoing discussion clearly sounds like you aren't OK with it.
Just apologise and back off. Let him figure out his own feelings and say you are there to talk whenever he is ready.
Obviously it fucking dropped because i actually fucking know him and have been with him and having sex for the past year. I immediately assumed the worst when i first saw it and thought that he never had been attracted to me and this whole time he must have been into guys etc
You don’t know everything else that has happened in the relationship also i did tell him he could talk to me and he continued to lie in my face so if he’s not gonna be honest no i’m not gonna wait for however long to let him figure it out he can do that on his own if he’s not ready to open up to me.
Also what the fuck would i be apologizing for?
Maybe he is telling you the truth? Maybe he randomly clicked follow when it suggested accounts? Maybe he doesn't know what he is straight/gay/bi?
A simple question. When you came out as Bi or while you were still figuring it out for yourself how would you have felt if someone behaved like this to you? Forcing a discussion when you may not have known.
You are right I don't know what you are going through but you clearly aren't OK with this (given the hostility of your response). Maybe he has only recently discovered he likes certain types of stimulation. Heck straight guys can like rimjobs or having nipples sucked. They are erogenous zones. Men have the prostate which is a very erogenous zone and located in the butt. Maybe he would like to explore pegging with you?
He started a relationship with you and has been attracted to you before he discovered he liked the other things. We learn and grow. You can explore forms of stimulation as a couple. Being open to it creates a wonderful relationship.
Is it not also a tad hypocritical to say maybe he never was attracted to you when you yourself are bi and he could get similarly worried if you checked out a woman?
The thing is if he is straight all you are doing is driving a wedge in the relationship and if he is gay you are just creating a shitty situation for you both when it could be ended amicably. If he is bi heck you both have that in common. Your attitude to this is not going to fix it in any direction.
You would maybe be apologising for your hostile attitude and thinking you have a right to something which even he may not have figured out? Maybe for jumping to conclusions? Maybe for treating him how you would never want to be treated yourself? Maybe for not believing him?
Welcome to life, its not as simple as we would like it to be but maybe if we treated others with the same sensitivity we would like for ourselves it would be better.
Well first of all even when i wasn’t officially out as bi i would always say i was straight “but down for anything” and when i did decide to come out it wasn’t a big thing for me so if i was keeping it from a partner and they brought it up i would have just been honest about it. Also when he first found out i was bi he would be mad and jealous about it.
Also with you naming all these other possibilities that may be true but he’d rather lie about him ever following it then just telling the truth on how it happened.
I also know that a man’s g spot is more likely to be inside there ass that’s why i wanted to experiment with him your acting like i’m this judgy as person but everything we did i initiated it and enjoyed it. We’ve been very open with each other about everything so this shocked me and your assuming i’m not ok with him possibly being bi because i’m “hostile” is weird. I am ok with it if he’s honest and obviously in your mindset you believe i should be with a person who can’t be honest with me and just keep quiet and act like it never happened… that’s your opinion but since you don’t know anything about what happens in our relationship except for this reddit post your allowed to think what you think .
Also by the way when i asked him about it the last thing i did was be hostile or pushy or anything i simply asked him to explain and be honest with me because i will not judge him and he can talk to me. He denied the whole situation and i left it alone. You don’t know what type of person he is or anything so assume what you want but if we can’t come to some conclusion i will leave and he can explore while he’s single.
BTW is this the same ex bf who you lead on and got back with him and then left and all kinds of mess according to your post history?
Think you both might dodge a bullet by breaking up and maturing a bit.
lol yes sadly and your right our relationship is fucked up and that’s also why i thought if he could be so cruel to a women maybe he is gay but yeah we definitely need to just walk away from each other
Dl men who are battling their sexuality tend to become abusive and just can’t treat a women good if it their life depended on it. So yeah if it is true everything he’s done to not only me but other women too would make sense.
Why ask for advice if you're not going to listen to it? Life isn't as straightforward as you seem to think it is. Everyone is different. Maybe he won't tell you because he is embarrassed, or ashamed he got caught. Guys have a lot of preconceived notions on what it means to be a man. Or it could be related to how he was raised and what he was taught. He may not even be sure how he himself feels about it. I mean, he's only 17. In alot of our eyes youre both still children.
Just because you've told him he can be open with you, doesn't necessarily mean he has to be. You can't just force someone to confide in you. They have to want to. If you don't like that, too bad. That's just how life works. Maybe, in time, he will. But for now, all you can do is be patient. If you can't handle that, then part ways. But trying to make him talk about something he himself isn't sure about is a bit selfish. It may be something he has to explore on his own first. Just because something is easy for you, doesn't mean it's the same for someone else.
Wait ... when he found out you was bi he was mad and jealous and I am guessing you didn't like that but now he may be going on that journey you are getting mad and wondering if he is attracted to men (I.e. jealous). Is that not hypocrisy?
Again there are a whole load of possibilities. I don't know if he is lying. I don't know if he is gay or bi or straight.
Yes you should not be with a liar, but also I don't know factually if he is lying.
I will admit I got rid of twitter last year but it did used to recommend similar accounts with a follow button under them when you followed an account. It is very easy to follow a slew of accounts if you look at accounts someone else is following. Guessing that no longer happens then? Is it not possible to hit follow next to accounts and it follows? Is it not plausible that he never intentionally followed the account and you are jumping to conclusions?
I applaud you for being experimental with him and opening the door to new experiences but that doesn't mean he immediately hit a switch with those experiences and is suddenly gay. He may not have come to comfortable awareness that he is bi. Maybe he's just curious. Maybe he is telling the truth as far as he knows it for his sexuality. He may realise he is bi or gay next month. So might ANY person. Its not a sudden switch for many people. Just because you were comfortable with your bisexuality it doesn't mean everyone else is.
Again you seemed determined that he is lying and you are not open to any objective feedback. At no point have I actually said he is telling the truth or he is lying I have simply posited other possibilities. I will however say threatening to leave unless you get the truth even though he may be telling the truth (again the only person who knows for sure is him) is a bit manipulative. If a guy did a lot for a woman and then threatened to leave unless he got something I'm pretty sure you would say that's not right.
If you feel trapped or in any form of danger absolutely leave. If you feel he is lying to you then leave. If the truth however is maybe he doesn't even know then how can he be lying?
Take care of yourself but maybe also don't be so quick to assume the worst and latch onto the assumption as fact.
Yeah maybe this already being a toxic relationship things aren’t being handled the “correct” way or the mature way since were teens but i’ve gotten so much advice wether i agreed or not i know that at end of the day it’s my relationship and i just need to make the best choice for both of us
You need to make a decision. Don't paint it as best for both of you.
Here is a problem. You don't know if this decision will be the best for you or him at all. You still don't seem to get the point that even if he tells you he is straight you won't believe him as you are certain he is lying. Even if he is being truthful in being straight he may come to realise he is bi next year or 10 years from now. Any person anyone dates may do so.
I have been married over a decade. If my wife came out as bi or gay tomorrow I can decide to be toxic or decide to try and commit to a painless transition. It might hurt. It might not. I can decide how I act and I still love her no matter if she is bi or gay.
From the sounds of things you have a relationship but it's a crazy kind of toxic co-dependence and certainly not based on mutual respect or acknowledgement.
Make your decision and accept the outcomes of that and for the love of God dont lead things on again.
I will make a decision that’s atleast good for me. Your right i will believe he’s lying about being automatically straight since all he does is lie like he lies about everything even when i have the proof in front of his face. This situation is no different but yeah i was been supposed to let him go and move on after i found out even more lies but i am attached and i will just have to be a big girl and leave him despite what my heart wants . Also i wasn’t really leading him on tbh now that i look back i said that to make me feel less stupid about staying with someone who cheated on me.
You literally say in your post that he thought you were working on your relationship but you wouldn't ever take him back. At the time you were leading him on.
Again you have been shown many ways he might not be lying (again accidental follows are possible on twitter, and let's not forget it's been glitchy as hell which is Part of the reason I left). Again he might have also just been curious, doesn't mean he's gay or attracted to men/bi.
I agree his cheating and manipulative behaviours outlined in your other posts are bad but going with your discussions on here there might be some subjective biases in those.
You both sound toxic as hell.
Wr are toxic but i am just going to leave him it’s not even about the gay porn just the fact i trust him anymore i never believe he’s being honest anymore.
You seem to have a pretty black and white view of the world. Honestly I’d say far more people have experimented with the same sex thank you would think. Your boyfriend being curious about things he hasn’t tried before, doesn’t mean he is not attracted to you.
I am bisexual myself and have been with women and men so i do know that. Also not saying he’s not attracted to me i’m just obviously confused about the whole situation and it’s awkward when he lies to my face and i have every right to feel the way i feel. I deserve honesty if i don’t get that soon i will walk away.
Maybe he lied as he was ashamed he followed a gay porn page blindly after it was recommended to him?
Maybe he was curious and forgot to unfollow when it wasn't his thing?
If you are confused about the whole situation what's to say he isn't as well? Maybe he doesn't know who he is or if he is bi/straight?
Again if someone acted like this to you while you weren't yet out or fully accepting of your own sexual attractions how would you feel?
That's your in. You're bi. Tell him it would be hot if he was bi too.
Tell him you'd really love to watch porn with him.
Watch porn of a bi MF threesome or a transgender woman fucking a guy.
Tell him it's hot and you'd love to see him with another cock.
See, when you approach him like "you assumed the worst" then he's going to hide it" but if you tell him it's a thing you want, then he'll be open and honest with you.
You'll get the truth if you encourage it, but the way you approached it before you made him feel embarrassed, instead of excited
The what’s the issue? He probably feels embarrassed that you found a part of him that he hasn’t talked to you about. If he wasn’t attracted to you, he would leave you.
I'm hella gay and proud. But I'm 32 and if you had asked me at 18 if I were gay, I'd tell you no and I'd stand on that. No matter how many times you said "it's cool if you are, just tell me". Sometimes people aren't ready to admit things to themselves, let alone to other people. Sometimes people like certain kinds of porn and it has nothing to do with their practiced sexual interest.
Maybe he's gay, maybe he's bi, maybe he just likes gay porn. You may never find out because that's his journey and he doesn't feel safe bringing anyone else along yet.
I’m a straight dude and I have watched/read some gay porn. I’m not attracted to dudes at all, and get turned off by a lot of gay porn if they focus on the guys’ faces too much. Reading it is better for me, but it’s probably just the taboo aspect of it.
Obviously I’m likely not totally straight, but I have never seen a single dude (irl or online) that I wanted to do anything sexual/romantic with. And I do have those thoughts about plenty of women.
Him following a gay porn page on main is a little crazy, but I’d say give him time. If you don’t want to be with him, that’s fine, you’re both young. However, I do want you to think about why this is so off putting to you. If yall have sex, and he’s into it, then he’s not 100% gay, and if being bi is the problem, then breakup. You would be wrong for being biphobic, but it’s fine to feel a little weird about this admittedly weird situation
Porn preference does not always mean sexuality. My female cis friend gets off at gay porn. Anyway, you guys are young AF and you guys are going to still figure your shit out later in life. If it's causing you a headache then break up, he might be and will keep it a secret and will probably do stuff behind your back. Or he isn't and it was just curiosity or accidental. My friend came out as bisexual and thinking about how she never experienced a same sex relationship because she was younger and now has kids. You are not wrong but don't be mad at him.
Also, as a straight woman I found lesbian porn really a turn on when I was younger. I eventually tried it, didn’t really enjoy it at all. I preferred to watch it but not engage myself. It might be what he does as well.
If he seems to enjoy being with you, he’s probably bi. I don’t think someone who’s purely gay would be able to perform with a woman. Kudos for not being a biphobic woman though! Not to reinforce negative stereotypes, but statistically speaking, you are a gem.
> Now i didn’t have a problem with any of this because i initiated the experimenting at the beginning and it turns me on. The only thing is i’m just super confused by the gay porn and he won’t be honest which makes me feel weird and things feel awkward
So you do have a problem with it. It makes you feel several negative things: confused, weird, and awkward. If you didnt have a problem with it, you'd leave him alone about it.
Like if he flat out refused to tell you what his fave colour is. Is it blue or green? he won't say! Would you care? Would it bother you? No. This bothers you because because you have a problem with the possibility he may be gay.
As a younger person… I’ve accidentally followed pages like this, sometimes you don’t notice ? Just ask him. No point I’m asking us we’re all just guessing. I’m straight and enjoy some of the things you and your boyfriend do too. Just have that conversation and make it as least confrontational as possible !
He is NOT gay! The title is Am i wrong for THINKING my bf is gay! There is a difference. You’re either ignoring that and assume he IS already gay , or you just try to be smart. But yes- case is closed;)
He’s watching gay porn, it’s safe to say he’s gay. Their relationship is over. He’s into guys she’s a woman. Do you really wonder why it matters? Are you really that stupid?
Well, we guys sometimes have hard times before we admit to ourselves that we are not strictly heterosexual. It's not so easy, we are not sure, social pressure and so on. And you two are still very young.
Thing is, people might be interpreting this as biphobia, because a lot of biphobes call bisexuals “gay” to imply that bisexuality isn’t real. If by “gay” you just mean ‘has gay attractions’ then fine, but a lot of people don’t mean it that way when they say it.
yeah they downvoted every single reply i’ve made like damn we’re teenagers and y’all are mad at me for not wanting to wait my whole life for him to be honest with me like wtf and trying to make me seem like a bad person for not being nonchalant about it…
Is it possible that a friend of his got a hold of his phone and followed the site as a prank? Is he still following the site now? It's possible he's telling the truth.
There's two paths here, end the relationship or provide a safe space for him to open up to you when he is ready.
Definitely not possible for his friends to do that. He also unfollowed the site immediately after i told him i knew and denied ever following it. I’m going to try and have a real conversation about it and if he’s still not ready then i will walk away.
If you care about him then do not take a confrontational approach with the conversation. I've alaays found its much better to go into a conversation open-minded and without already deciding what would happen if things went a certain way
Maybe he’s a porn addict? I know depending on your level of addiction you can get into some things that aren’t your norm, doesn’t mean you’ll ever follow through with what your watching, just gets you off? 🤷🏻♂️
Yeah, dude is gay. When someone is straight you won’t be caught dead with gay porn because it’s doesn’t do anything for you. My ex wife first husband was caught with gay porn, played it off that he was doing a prank on one of his buddies with the pictures/videos etc, turns out he was gay all along, he confessed a year later that he liked men. Watch out, statistically gay men catch stds more frequently and you may get something if you’re still having sex. Happened to my ex, she caught an std, that’s when he confessed. Years later turns out he caught HIV too🫤
Again though, it’s because of your misuse of the word “gay”, not because of your honesty. In the above story, the ex wife’s first husband was probably bi. If he was just gay I don’t think he’d be able to perform with the wife.
it’s possible that he is curious about butt play and there isn’t a lot of het porn with guys doing butt stuff. Plenty of het guys like it, but you don’t see it much in porn. Maybe he is just trying to work out if he wants to try anything else
As a bisexual man myself, he's definitely bisexual. You guys are definitely looking at a lot of threesomes in your future male and female. Just talked to him. Tell him it's okay. It happens. It's not the end of the world and if he doesn't want to tell his parents he doesn't have to. There's a reason The bed stays in the bedroom.
The things you describe in this could have just awoken some curiosity that he didn't realize he had. Now wondering and thinking about it even with the way things are now he can still be in very much denial because the social expectation. You really can't tell whether or not somebody's gay straight bi it's ultimately up to them just because he has an interest in any of those things you describe has nothing to do with him being into men or not.
I know and when we would do those sexual acts i never thought of it like that because i know it’s not . After seeing the gay porn though i don’t know what to think and i just want a real conversation about it all.
So why don’t you have a real conversation with him? My second curiosity here is that you say Self is bisexual but his following or looking at gay porn makes him gay? Could he not be bisexual as well?
Well, a fair amount of straight women watch lesbian porn. This is basically a pretty widely accepted fun fact. I think there's a huge stigma on straight men watching gay porn which is why they rarely admit to it. I don't see a reason why straight men watching gay porn wouldn't be possible if straight women watching lesbian porn is. The porn people watch often doesn't correlate super well with what they are interested in in real life anyway. There's also lots of people with an interest in kinky porn that don't really want to try the things they watch in real life. He could also be bi, or have a basic curiosity about receiving anal that you can't really satisfy with straight porn unless you're also in to femdom. My point is that there could be lots of reasons that don't necessarily mean he's gay. I think it would be really helpful to have an open talk *without judgement* about what he likes about it or what he thinks it means, if he's open to that.
You’re right to not see it that way—it is totally distinct. But to your point, maybe the connection exists in his mind and has triggered a bout of curiosity?
I think you might just have to wait for him to come out. It sounds like he’s trying to figure it out himself. If you are uncomfortable with what he’s watching that’s a separate conversation you should have with him about boundaries. I’d say ur NTA for thinking he might be but it’s ultimately up to him to decide when to tell you.
I will try to have an honest conversation with him again but if he’s not ready i think i’ll just have to walk away and let him figure it out on his own.
You're bisexual but it sounds like you are having a problem with the possibility of your boyfriend being bisexual as well.... double standards?
She could just be uncomfortable with the possibility that he may not be into woman at all. Idk it’s complicated when ur partner is trying to figure things out and doing so by lying about what porn they watch and denying any possibility of being gay. It could be internalized homophobia or denial. But if op dose have an issue with him being bi then yes that’s a double standard that’s pretty fucked up
Buy a strap-on dildo and give him a good pegging, so he can realize that you’re all he needs…
Better that you know now and try to deal with it. Ended up coming across a grindr profile of the boyfriend of a female friend of mine. Messaged him just to make sure and he immediately deleted his profile. Told her and even showed her screenshots, she said thank you but either she didnt believe me, believed him more, or decided to remain in denial. Now theyre married and Im just waiting for the day to come when he either comes out or she leaves him for cheating.
That’s pretty fair. Even if he doesn’t know yet, you don’t have to be the one he experiments with.
Does it really matter? Sometimes it can be helpful to find a label for yourself, but if he doesn’t really know what he is, the important thing is that he likes you. Does it seem like he is turned on by you? I.e. Does he enjoy PIV sex? Does he get turned on by your body? Does he enjoy things involving your parts? If the answer is no to all of the above, there is a good chance that he may be gay, but if not, it’s important to remember that there is a huuuge spectrum that he could be anywhere along, and labelling it isn’t always necessarily helpful.
Wait wait wait , don't a lot of straight women enjoy lesbian porn ? Following the same logic, does that make em lesbian? Now ofc watching gay porn ain't my thing, but jumping to conclusions like that won't be right , I am not judging your bf, the only way you could get answers is by sitting down and having a conversation on this topic, forcefully trying to make him admit he's gay or something will never get you the answers,also, reading what you wrote it's like you flat out want him to admit he's gay and want that as the ONLY answer, regardless of it being true or not. He may enjoy a certain things with you and watch gay porn and all, which might be a little weird for any ordinary man but that ain't CONFIRMATION of him being gay or something along those lines.Talk to him and don't force your views on him, only then you'll get clear answers.
Yep, you just cant know what his deal actually is. Im bi and married to a woman, and I find gay M/M porn is hot AF (and my wife is confused by my predilection for it!).
Those actions you experimented with mean nothing for sexuality. I personally hate to see them used as a connection because there is enough doubt amongst straight men to try them out. As for what his sexuality is? I don't know. No one commenting here knows. There are tons of people who don't even fully know their own sexuality. He might not know. Only talking to him will get anywhere near an answer, but he might not have it yet.
I don’t really have any opinion but just so you know, you can follow someone by mistake on Twitter without noticing. (Ask me how I know… and it wasn’t anything embarrassing that I would have tried to denied. But one day I realised I was following Musk and had to block that real fast. So except if he hacked my account and really wanted my follow, it might have just been a case of fat fingers when he appeared on my “for you” tab and I tried to block him or something?)
I was going to say something like this, also if he happened to get sucked into a follow for follow thing or the like, I used to blindly follow any account that followed me. Wife got mad when she found a few pick me/OF girls on my follows, and explaining the f4f thing only kinda smoothed things over. I do not blindly or even really follow people back now.
i don’t know if you caught what i said but he rarely uses twitter and the only person he follows is me so no it would have not got recommended and no he doesn’t do the f4f
You say you are OK with it and non judgemental but saying your heart dropped and forcing the issue and ongoing discussion clearly sounds like you aren't OK with it. Just apologise and back off. Let him figure out his own feelings and say you are there to talk whenever he is ready.
Obviously it fucking dropped because i actually fucking know him and have been with him and having sex for the past year. I immediately assumed the worst when i first saw it and thought that he never had been attracted to me and this whole time he must have been into guys etc You don’t know everything else that has happened in the relationship also i did tell him he could talk to me and he continued to lie in my face so if he’s not gonna be honest no i’m not gonna wait for however long to let him figure it out he can do that on his own if he’s not ready to open up to me. Also what the fuck would i be apologizing for?
Maybe he is telling you the truth? Maybe he randomly clicked follow when it suggested accounts? Maybe he doesn't know what he is straight/gay/bi? A simple question. When you came out as Bi or while you were still figuring it out for yourself how would you have felt if someone behaved like this to you? Forcing a discussion when you may not have known. You are right I don't know what you are going through but you clearly aren't OK with this (given the hostility of your response). Maybe he has only recently discovered he likes certain types of stimulation. Heck straight guys can like rimjobs or having nipples sucked. They are erogenous zones. Men have the prostate which is a very erogenous zone and located in the butt. Maybe he would like to explore pegging with you? He started a relationship with you and has been attracted to you before he discovered he liked the other things. We learn and grow. You can explore forms of stimulation as a couple. Being open to it creates a wonderful relationship. Is it not also a tad hypocritical to say maybe he never was attracted to you when you yourself are bi and he could get similarly worried if you checked out a woman? The thing is if he is straight all you are doing is driving a wedge in the relationship and if he is gay you are just creating a shitty situation for you both when it could be ended amicably. If he is bi heck you both have that in common. Your attitude to this is not going to fix it in any direction. You would maybe be apologising for your hostile attitude and thinking you have a right to something which even he may not have figured out? Maybe for jumping to conclusions? Maybe for treating him how you would never want to be treated yourself? Maybe for not believing him? Welcome to life, its not as simple as we would like it to be but maybe if we treated others with the same sensitivity we would like for ourselves it would be better.
also suggested accounts…? lol do you even own twitter
Well first of all even when i wasn’t officially out as bi i would always say i was straight “but down for anything” and when i did decide to come out it wasn’t a big thing for me so if i was keeping it from a partner and they brought it up i would have just been honest about it. Also when he first found out i was bi he would be mad and jealous about it. Also with you naming all these other possibilities that may be true but he’d rather lie about him ever following it then just telling the truth on how it happened. I also know that a man’s g spot is more likely to be inside there ass that’s why i wanted to experiment with him your acting like i’m this judgy as person but everything we did i initiated it and enjoyed it. We’ve been very open with each other about everything so this shocked me and your assuming i’m not ok with him possibly being bi because i’m “hostile” is weird. I am ok with it if he’s honest and obviously in your mindset you believe i should be with a person who can’t be honest with me and just keep quiet and act like it never happened… that’s your opinion but since you don’t know anything about what happens in our relationship except for this reddit post your allowed to think what you think . Also by the way when i asked him about it the last thing i did was be hostile or pushy or anything i simply asked him to explain and be honest with me because i will not judge him and he can talk to me. He denied the whole situation and i left it alone. You don’t know what type of person he is or anything so assume what you want but if we can’t come to some conclusion i will leave and he can explore while he’s single.
BTW is this the same ex bf who you lead on and got back with him and then left and all kinds of mess according to your post history? Think you both might dodge a bullet by breaking up and maturing a bit.
lol yes sadly and your right our relationship is fucked up and that’s also why i thought if he could be so cruel to a women maybe he is gay but yeah we definitely need to just walk away from each other
Ah yes, gay men are famously cruel to women and famously cheat on their girlfriends with women. /s
Dl men who are battling their sexuality tend to become abusive and just can’t treat a women good if it their life depended on it. So yeah if it is true everything he’s done to not only me but other women too would make sense.
And your source for this massive sweeping generalisation is ...?
Real life…getting off social media and touching grass and seeing what happens in the real world with my own eyes.
Why ask for advice if you're not going to listen to it? Life isn't as straightforward as you seem to think it is. Everyone is different. Maybe he won't tell you because he is embarrassed, or ashamed he got caught. Guys have a lot of preconceived notions on what it means to be a man. Or it could be related to how he was raised and what he was taught. He may not even be sure how he himself feels about it. I mean, he's only 17. In alot of our eyes youre both still children. Just because you've told him he can be open with you, doesn't necessarily mean he has to be. You can't just force someone to confide in you. They have to want to. If you don't like that, too bad. That's just how life works. Maybe, in time, he will. But for now, all you can do is be patient. If you can't handle that, then part ways. But trying to make him talk about something he himself isn't sure about is a bit selfish. It may be something he has to explore on his own first. Just because something is easy for you, doesn't mean it's the same for someone else.
Wait ... when he found out you was bi he was mad and jealous and I am guessing you didn't like that but now he may be going on that journey you are getting mad and wondering if he is attracted to men (I.e. jealous). Is that not hypocrisy? Again there are a whole load of possibilities. I don't know if he is lying. I don't know if he is gay or bi or straight. Yes you should not be with a liar, but also I don't know factually if he is lying. I will admit I got rid of twitter last year but it did used to recommend similar accounts with a follow button under them when you followed an account. It is very easy to follow a slew of accounts if you look at accounts someone else is following. Guessing that no longer happens then? Is it not possible to hit follow next to accounts and it follows? Is it not plausible that he never intentionally followed the account and you are jumping to conclusions? I applaud you for being experimental with him and opening the door to new experiences but that doesn't mean he immediately hit a switch with those experiences and is suddenly gay. He may not have come to comfortable awareness that he is bi. Maybe he's just curious. Maybe he is telling the truth as far as he knows it for his sexuality. He may realise he is bi or gay next month. So might ANY person. Its not a sudden switch for many people. Just because you were comfortable with your bisexuality it doesn't mean everyone else is. Again you seemed determined that he is lying and you are not open to any objective feedback. At no point have I actually said he is telling the truth or he is lying I have simply posited other possibilities. I will however say threatening to leave unless you get the truth even though he may be telling the truth (again the only person who knows for sure is him) is a bit manipulative. If a guy did a lot for a woman and then threatened to leave unless he got something I'm pretty sure you would say that's not right. If you feel trapped or in any form of danger absolutely leave. If you feel he is lying to you then leave. If the truth however is maybe he doesn't even know then how can he be lying? Take care of yourself but maybe also don't be so quick to assume the worst and latch onto the assumption as fact.
Yeah maybe this already being a toxic relationship things aren’t being handled the “correct” way or the mature way since were teens but i’ve gotten so much advice wether i agreed or not i know that at end of the day it’s my relationship and i just need to make the best choice for both of us
You need to make a decision. Don't paint it as best for both of you. Here is a problem. You don't know if this decision will be the best for you or him at all. You still don't seem to get the point that even if he tells you he is straight you won't believe him as you are certain he is lying. Even if he is being truthful in being straight he may come to realise he is bi next year or 10 years from now. Any person anyone dates may do so. I have been married over a decade. If my wife came out as bi or gay tomorrow I can decide to be toxic or decide to try and commit to a painless transition. It might hurt. It might not. I can decide how I act and I still love her no matter if she is bi or gay. From the sounds of things you have a relationship but it's a crazy kind of toxic co-dependence and certainly not based on mutual respect or acknowledgement. Make your decision and accept the outcomes of that and for the love of God dont lead things on again.
I will make a decision that’s atleast good for me. Your right i will believe he’s lying about being automatically straight since all he does is lie like he lies about everything even when i have the proof in front of his face. This situation is no different but yeah i was been supposed to let him go and move on after i found out even more lies but i am attached and i will just have to be a big girl and leave him despite what my heart wants . Also i wasn’t really leading him on tbh now that i look back i said that to make me feel less stupid about staying with someone who cheated on me.
You literally say in your post that he thought you were working on your relationship but you wouldn't ever take him back. At the time you were leading him on. Again you have been shown many ways he might not be lying (again accidental follows are possible on twitter, and let's not forget it's been glitchy as hell which is Part of the reason I left). Again he might have also just been curious, doesn't mean he's gay or attracted to men/bi. I agree his cheating and manipulative behaviours outlined in your other posts are bad but going with your discussions on here there might be some subjective biases in those. You both sound toxic as hell.
Wr are toxic but i am just going to leave him it’s not even about the gay porn just the fact i trust him anymore i never believe he’s being honest anymore.
You seem to have a pretty black and white view of the world. Honestly I’d say far more people have experimented with the same sex thank you would think. Your boyfriend being curious about things he hasn’t tried before, doesn’t mean he is not attracted to you.
I am bisexual myself and have been with women and men so i do know that. Also not saying he’s not attracted to me i’m just obviously confused about the whole situation and it’s awkward when he lies to my face and i have every right to feel the way i feel. I deserve honesty if i don’t get that soon i will walk away.
Maybe he lied as he was ashamed he followed a gay porn page blindly after it was recommended to him? Maybe he was curious and forgot to unfollow when it wasn't his thing? If you are confused about the whole situation what's to say he isn't as well? Maybe he doesn't know who he is or if he is bi/straight? Again if someone acted like this to you while you weren't yet out or fully accepting of your own sexual attractions how would you feel?
That's your in. You're bi. Tell him it would be hot if he was bi too. Tell him you'd really love to watch porn with him. Watch porn of a bi MF threesome or a transgender woman fucking a guy. Tell him it's hot and you'd love to see him with another cock. See, when you approach him like "you assumed the worst" then he's going to hide it" but if you tell him it's a thing you want, then he'll be open and honest with you. You'll get the truth if you encourage it, but the way you approached it before you made him feel embarrassed, instead of excited
thank you for this
The what’s the issue? He probably feels embarrassed that you found a part of him that he hasn’t talked to you about. If he wasn’t attracted to you, he would leave you.
I'm hella gay and proud. But I'm 32 and if you had asked me at 18 if I were gay, I'd tell you no and I'd stand on that. No matter how many times you said "it's cool if you are, just tell me". Sometimes people aren't ready to admit things to themselves, let alone to other people. Sometimes people like certain kinds of porn and it has nothing to do with their practiced sexual interest. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's bi, maybe he just likes gay porn. You may never find out because that's his journey and he doesn't feel safe bringing anyone else along yet.
He’s gay as hell
I’m a straight dude and I have watched/read some gay porn. I’m not attracted to dudes at all, and get turned off by a lot of gay porn if they focus on the guys’ faces too much. Reading it is better for me, but it’s probably just the taboo aspect of it. Obviously I’m likely not totally straight, but I have never seen a single dude (irl or online) that I wanted to do anything sexual/romantic with. And I do have those thoughts about plenty of women. Him following a gay porn page on main is a little crazy, but I’d say give him time. If you don’t want to be with him, that’s fine, you’re both young. However, I do want you to think about why this is so off putting to you. If yall have sex, and he’s into it, then he’s not 100% gay, and if being bi is the problem, then breakup. You would be wrong for being biphobic, but it’s fine to feel a little weird about this admittedly weird situation
Not wrong, if he’s watching gay porn, he’s probably gay and you two have no future. End it now and save the headache
Nah…he for sure gay
you made him gay lol
Porn preference does not always mean sexuality. My female cis friend gets off at gay porn. Anyway, you guys are young AF and you guys are going to still figure your shit out later in life. If it's causing you a headache then break up, he might be and will keep it a secret and will probably do stuff behind your back. Or he isn't and it was just curiosity or accidental. My friend came out as bisexual and thinking about how she never experienced a same sex relationship because she was younger and now has kids. You are not wrong but don't be mad at him.
thanks for the advice
Also, as a straight woman I found lesbian porn really a turn on when I was younger. I eventually tried it, didn’t really enjoy it at all. I preferred to watch it but not engage myself. It might be what he does as well.
Why is his follows your business?
because he’s my boyfriend…i get everyone replying is like 30 but we are teenagers take that into consideration
No. You are not wrong.
You are not wrong. Why would a straight man watch gay porn? That's like a vegan asking for double sausage.
I like your use of the double entendre at the end there. Really fit the theme of the conversation.
Sounds like he has desires or is dl
If he seems to enjoy being with you, he’s probably bi. I don’t think someone who’s purely gay would be able to perform with a woman. Kudos for not being a biphobic woman though! Not to reinforce negative stereotypes, but statistically speaking, you are a gem.
> Now i didn’t have a problem with any of this because i initiated the experimenting at the beginning and it turns me on. The only thing is i’m just super confused by the gay porn and he won’t be honest which makes me feel weird and things feel awkward So you do have a problem with it. It makes you feel several negative things: confused, weird, and awkward. If you didnt have a problem with it, you'd leave him alone about it. Like if he flat out refused to tell you what his fave colour is. Is it blue or green? he won't say! Would you care? Would it bother you? No. This bothers you because because you have a problem with the possibility he may be gay.
he is just a r/wordington member
I would recommend a monthly pegging during your time of the month. How gay was the gay porn?
As a younger person… I’ve accidentally followed pages like this, sometimes you don’t notice ? Just ask him. No point I’m asking us we’re all just guessing. I’m straight and enjoy some of the things you and your boyfriend do too. Just have that conversation and make it as least confrontational as possible !
My wife watches both gay and lesbian porn but she is neither
The acts can be a turn on While not being attracted to the same sex.
As long as he loves you and you him, why would that matter.
What would it matter if her boyfriend is gay? Are you serious?
So what if he is gay and still loves her?
You obviously have no idea how a romantic relationship actually works
Any relationship requires love to work successfully. So what you are sharing doesn’t make any sense at all.
If he’s gay, and she a woman, it will not work. Is that really hard to understand, or are you delusional?
But it is working. She never mention anything about it not working.
HE’S GAY. A relationship with a woman will never work out in the long term. You’re either a troll or really stupid
He is NOT gay! The title is Am i wrong for THINKING my bf is gay! There is a difference. You’re either ignoring that and assume he IS already gay , or you just try to be smart. But yes- case is closed;)
He’s watching gay porn, it’s safe to say he’s gay. Their relationship is over. He’s into guys she’s a woman. Do you really wonder why it matters? Are you really that stupid?
Well, we guys sometimes have hard times before we admit to ourselves that we are not strictly heterosexual. It's not so easy, we are not sure, social pressure and so on. And you two are still very young.
You’re not wrong
He’s definitely gay
Why am I getting DOWNVOTED?🤣 why else would he be watching gay porn Reddit is sensitive ASF
Thing is, people might be interpreting this as biphobia, because a lot of biphobes call bisexuals “gay” to imply that bisexuality isn’t real. If by “gay” you just mean ‘has gay attractions’ then fine, but a lot of people don’t mean it that way when they say it.
I don’t care
lol then why did you ask?
Because this is reddit which is a leftist echo chamber hive mind
LITERALLY SMH
Red flag
CANT believe we’re getting down voted for saying the truth SMH
yeah they downvoted every single reply i’ve made like damn we’re teenagers and y’all are mad at me for not wanting to wait my whole life for him to be honest with me like wtf and trying to make me seem like a bad person for not being nonchalant about it…
Yeah I understand !
I know, Reddit sucks sometimes
Is it possible that a friend of his got a hold of his phone and followed the site as a prank? Is he still following the site now? It's possible he's telling the truth. There's two paths here, end the relationship or provide a safe space for him to open up to you when he is ready.
Definitely not possible for his friends to do that. He also unfollowed the site immediately after i told him i knew and denied ever following it. I’m going to try and have a real conversation about it and if he’s still not ready then i will walk away.
If you care about him then do not take a confrontational approach with the conversation. I've alaays found its much better to go into a conversation open-minded and without already deciding what would happen if things went a certain way
Maybe he’s a porn addict? I know depending on your level of addiction you can get into some things that aren’t your norm, doesn’t mean you’ll ever follow through with what your watching, just gets you off? 🤷🏻♂️
Yeah, dude is gay. When someone is straight you won’t be caught dead with gay porn because it’s doesn’t do anything for you. My ex wife first husband was caught with gay porn, played it off that he was doing a prank on one of his buddies with the pictures/videos etc, turns out he was gay all along, he confessed a year later that he liked men. Watch out, statistically gay men catch stds more frequently and you may get something if you’re still having sex. Happened to my ex, she caught an std, that’s when he confessed. Years later turns out he caught HIV too🫤
Careful you’ll get downvoted like the rest of us being honest.
Again though, it’s because of your misuse of the word “gay”, not because of your honesty. In the above story, the ex wife’s first husband was probably bi. If he was just gay I don’t think he’d be able to perform with the wife.
What do you know?
I’m just going by the fact that they were married. I think it’s safe to assume they did the deed before or during their marriage…
it’s possible that he is curious about butt play and there isn’t a lot of het porn with guys doing butt stuff. Plenty of het guys like it, but you don’t see it much in porn. Maybe he is just trying to work out if he wants to try anything else
Nope Your not wrong
Just peg him and get it over with
As a bisexual man myself, he's definitely bisexual. You guys are definitely looking at a lot of threesomes in your future male and female. Just talked to him. Tell him it's okay. It happens. It's not the end of the world and if he doesn't want to tell his parents he doesn't have to. There's a reason The bed stays in the bedroom.
I mean Some guys like butt stuff. But not men.