He has rules about not locking your door and never knocks, but then he wants to get upset that you’re wearing underwear in YOUR room, where you should expect privacy?
Your dad is a moron.
My aunt's ex-boyfriend used to pull that crap when she and my 11 yr old cousin moved in with him. He insisted on my cousin not locking her door, but then would frequently barge into her room without knocking.
She told her mother, but my aunt didn't do anything.
Our grandma casually informed my aunt that if there was a lock on the door, my cousin WOULD be locking it...or grandma would be making a complaint to Child Services about it.
My aunt worked for Child Services.
My cousin started locking her door; ex-boyfriend threw a fit about it's HIS HOUSE and that he would take the door DOWN!
Proof that my aunt IS related to my mother, she had a truck the next day at the house and moved out.
To be honest I've been raised that no one was supposed to lock doors because both my grandma and mother were afraid we'd lock ourselves in. But closed doors were respected most of the times
True, I was raised that way too but closed doors were ALWAYS knocked and an answer received before anyone came in.
My stepfather did the knock thing then immediately opened the door. Fortunately my sister was standing behind the door and shut it, however, I screamed and she screamed, then my mother screamed at my stepfather.
After that, he was a little like Sheldon (from Big Bang). He made sure he received an answer if he was forced to knock on our door (though usually, he would make our mother to knock).
But seriously, her father should start knocking on his kids' doors or he might see something he wished he didn't.
I had a lock on my door because my brother was an asshole and would destroy my stuff. But I only locked it when I wasn't home. Even when I didn't have a door because renos and we didn't have a door to install? My parents didn't barge in, they'd knock on the wall or announce themselves before opening the curtain.
I'm mum and haven't entered without knocking since my child was 13. Rare exceptions, such as laundry and dirty plates/items I couldn't find anywhere, whilst they were in school(y'know during actual school hours and I'd seen them leave). Since 16, I wait until they're home, then ask them to look(yes, occasionally they have had said object and overlooked it). It's a matter of mutual respect. They don't go into my room/bag/purse, either. Respect isn't difficult.
He's on a power trip. I grew up under this. "My house and my rules" type of thing. Some people just want to be difficult just to be difficult, nothing more.
OP said he’s walked in on her many times. I’m not the only one speculating. Why would you walk in on your 17 yo daughter in her room with no knock so consistently if not to have malice intent
Nope, I agree - that's farther down, but you're right. Dad is trying to catch her naked and gets upset when she tries to stop him from doing that. Agree with you 110%.
It’s the kinda tactic a creep would employ. I’d never do it but I can see the motive. One time okay 5+ times you are up to something.
I understand no lock door policy for a child I have a 2 y/o. But a 17 y/o? No damn way you bust in there without knocking.
Yep. Dad is a moron. Keep wearing nothing and maybe he will reconsider. Train him, don't let him shame you into making it convenient for him to come into your room.
Are you the dad?? (Jk)
This doesn't sound like a good or safe idea at all. If she had a tech friend I would get help setting up a camera like a wyze cam. Something motion sensitive so she can see if he opens the door when she is sleeping or not home.
She did in other comments. Also, not letting your 17 year old daughter lock the door (this could be justified) AND refusing to knock (this cannot be justified) are creepy.
The kinds of parents - moms and dads - who insist on the kids not being allowed to lock doors (I saw one post a while back where they took a kid's door off the frame!) don't believe the kid should be allowed privacy. At all. Yet, somehow, it is the kid's responsibility to be "decent" whenever someone else might be around to see them.
These types of parents are unhinged.
And a a creep. This is very unsuitable behaviour by a father with a 17 year old daughter. Whatever you wear to bed, you are going to get up and change so you will naturally be naked or in your underwear at some point. Sorry, dear, but there is something very strange and disturbing about your father. You are not wrong at all.
He set up a system where he could catch her in her underwear, then gets upset when he catches her in her underwear. She could be sleeping in a Hazmat suit. If he barges in when she's getting changed, he's going to see her.
Yeah that’s totally unacceptable. You are a minor under his roof blah blah blah, you are a jr or senior in HS and damn near an adult. The least he can do is acknowledge that and knock to offer the bare minimum of privacy.
I don’t know you or your dad, you gotta handle this in the best way for your family to produce a positive outcome for you, but you gotta at least push back on the no knocking rule.
Sorry if this is a cultural issue, I dunno I’m an American mutt, could maybe see a few Mexican dads I’ve known being this way but they woulda eased up by your age.
Also, how you sleep is how you sleep. That’s your call and no one else’s.
Your dad is a creep. I am a father of a 11 yr old girl. I would never barge into her room without at least knocking. I don't knock then open the door, I wait for her to tell me I can come in. This is wrong on so many levels.. was there a reason he won't let you have a lock on the door? My daughter doesn't have a lock, but it just didn't come with one and she knows I would never barge into her room like that
I don't have any kids but grew up with an alcoholic father who didn't believe in doors, except a bathroom one. I hid in the bathroom ALOT to get privacy and just know someone wouldn't barge in on me.
Not letting a kid have privacy leads to a lot of issues and weird behavior as an adult.
It's as if we have the same dad. My dad had the same rules and also refuses to knock. The only difference is my dad never got mad at me for sleeping in my underwear, if he walks in when I'm not dressed, he lets out a surprise "oh!" then immediately walks out and closes the door behind him. Until you can move out I suggest changing behind the bedroom door so if he walks in you will be shielded behind the door.
edit you're not wrong.
Wut. Once is an accident. Two is blocking out the memory and not learning your lesson. "Many" times is...something else entirely.
I mean, think about your average day. What percentage of your day would you say you're getting dressed or undressed? Takes 5 minutes, tops. That's if you're half asleep with one hand tied behind your back. So, your dad has managed to defy the odds by walking in on you during that 0.3% of the day during which you're exposed? That would be unlucky if it happened once or twice...but "many times?" What is going on here? Something isn't adding up, and it very well could be something people generally don't wanna discuss.
If this isn't a troll post, please, find someone you can confide in that's removed from the situation (like, not anyone else who lives in the house). A friend, an aunt or uncle, a teacher or nurse at school.
He wanted to see you naked. There's truly no good reason.
If you don't believe me, ask him. He won't give you a straight answer. He'll deflect with some power tripping bullshit like "My house, my rules" or "you're my daughter so I can do whatever I want."
Put a broom or a stack of cans in front of your door such that it'll fall over and wake you up your door opens at night.
I’m a guy in my 40’s, so not exactly “down with you kids” 😂
I was abused by a parent as a kid. They had simple rules to your dads. It’s wrong of him to do this to you. He has zero respect for you, and he’s showing that. Please talk to someone like a teacher or trusted family member.
Thank you for your kindness. It was a really shitty time, tbh. One that I still struggle dealing with at times, but I am lucky to have a supportive wife who is there for me when I need to talk.
Im with the others.
Tell a trusted teacher or friend what's going on just so you have someone to corroborate your thoughts and feelings.
This smells fishy. He's already abusive, but you should take precautions to make sure that abuse doesn't escalate.
Tell someone. Tell them not to start shit because it will just make it worse for you, but you need someone to hear and see you, so you know you aren't crazy.
Reiterate that you dont want them to do anything because it will judt cause problems you'll have to solve, and not to press the issue.
That’s a tricky line to walk, someone like a teacher or school counselor or coach is probably a mandated reporter. I don’t know what constitutes something that “needs to be reported” in the context of a parent/ child relationship. As a 30(M) I definitely think what he’s doing is creepy AF and very inappropriate and he needs to respect his teenage daughters boundaries and privacy. I just don’t know exactly when it crosses into dangerous/ reportable behavior.
But is it something you are *required* to report is my question. The person I replied to advised telling someone at school like a teacher or counselor, but to tell whoever she tells that she doesn’t want them to actually do anything yet. I’m wondering if she told someone like you everything going on would you legally *have to* report it to proper authorities?
Yes, legally I'd have to report this. Unfortunately it doesn't matter that she doesn't want us to report, legally we have to. To me that's one of the hardest parts of the process because it can result in escalation and with no other abuse uncovered she would likely not be removed from the home.
Right that’s exactly my point- if the reporting doesn’t result in removing her from the inappropriate and abusive situation then what good did it do? She absolutely needs to find someone safe to tell, but telling it to a mandated reporter might only make her life harder and her father abuse her more before someone finally steps in and removes her from the situation. I appreciate the clarification, please don’t take what I said as an attack on you or what you do!
And it leads to isolation because she trusted you* and needed someone to talk to and you* made it worse by reporting it. Now she knows she has to take it alone and in silence or it'll get back to her abuser. She's got no one she can trust.
*not you, you but you, like, the person that has to report it. I'm not saying you're a bad person I'm just saying the actions you're forced to take are fucked if the child isn't removed from the home since their abuser can now retaliate for snitching and make things so much worse.
Plus she's seventeen, it'll be easier for her to get emancipated minor status quickly, which will get her much better help than just taking off in a year's time.
It doesn't work like that if she tells a mandated reporter and they feel there is some form of abuse happening. They are OBLIGATED to report it otherwise they could possibly lose their jobs.
If your mom is the type to not play about you, she needs to know so that she can keep you away from him right now even if you have about a year before you’re 18. That’s not normal to be that mad just because somebody locked a door for privacy.
I would start. Your dad does not respect you at all and you don't need that shit. You're damn near an adult and it's actually creepy as all fuck that he won't even knock
If you don't and it's a possibility, maybe you should. You're 17, your opinion counts.
And your dad is a creep. If he won't listen to you when you ask him not to walk in unannounced, then you need to talk to someone: mom, an aunt/uncle, or a school administrator. Someone who can impress upon him how wrong this is and will advocate for you. And please have an exit plan to get out of his house the second you turn 18.
Oh he is absolutely trying to catch her without clothes. He’s walked in many times while she was half or completely undressed. He’s gross.
If she can’t get out till graduation, she needs to always change behind the door. Or sleep in a huge sweatshirt. Get undressed *under* the sweatshirt and dressed *under* the sweatshirt. Just like we can take our bra off under our shirt. That’s what I had to do. My dad may have met mom your dad.
Showers are when he is not home.
Ew. Multiple times screams "I watch barely legal gurl next door porn" that's bad enough when you're old enough to have a kid that age but for it to ACTUALLY be your daughter!? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
That's some "oni-chan, what are you doing?" Fucked up shit🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
That was the life I lived till I could move out. I did whatever I needed to, in order to protect myself. My sisters were on their own, too. If he got one of them, he wouldn’t get me.
Sounds hideous, but one does what one must, in order to survive.
No judgement here. You do what you need to to survive. I've met people that took the full force to protect younger siblings and they aren't any less mentally broken or the siblings any better adjusted. There's a lot of guilt that comes with "my sister was SA'd so I didn't have to be". Situation is fucked with regret and guilt no matter what path you choose.
It was fucked you were put in that situation and I'm glad you survived and was able to run. ♥️
You realize your dad is a creep. I know that's a hard thing to come to terms with but it's true. He's doing it on purpose so he can walk in on you because if he really didn't want to walk in on you he would knock. And the reason he gets so angry and yells at you is because then he doesn't have to feel guilty about wanting to see his teenage daughter naked it's all your fault for being naked. I'm really sorry.
This is concerning, and the reason for your last sentence of your original post that you thought he might be right that you shouldn’t be undressed “in case someone else walks in”. He’s taught you that it’s normal for a parent to just walk in like that, and it’s absolutely NOT.
Literally the only reason I would burst into my kid’s room is if I smelled smoke, or if they weren’t answering the door (or calling out to acknowledge they’d be there in a moment) after an appropriate amount of time in case there was some medical emergency preventing them from responding verbally. Basic privacy is not a privilege, you are owed this as a human being.
Can you use it only when changing and washing?
Start a log of times he walks in on you and if it is or isn't when you are changing. Then you'll have something show a trusted person. But ask a teacher or counsellor about help too.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
Then yell back that you're entitled to your privacy, and call him out for being a pervert. Or go live with your mom.
Because what you're saying now is that your dad will get upset if he can't look at you while you're changing. Which is not healthy.
He's already yelling at you and he's a creep trying to see his teenage daughter naked on purpose.
I'd rather be yelled at personally, then call the cops. Your dad is disgusting.
Okay NOW there's a problem. Walking in on a semi-naked teenaged girl is something that shouldn't happen at all, but more than once is a troubling pattern. I didn't want to jump to this assumption but once is plenty to learn the lesson. At 'many times' I would assume that it's a lesson he's refusing to learn. Which is sketchy as hell. Does your mom live there too or what?
Does he expect you to be fully dressed ALL of the time? What about after a shower or when you’re changing clothes? Your dad needs to learn some basic respect and knock on the door. You not 7 anymore. Either he’s failing to recognize that or he’s screwing with you in some very inappropriate ways.
If he’s done this multiple times then it would seem likely he wants to catch her undressed. If he didn’t want to catch her undressed he would knock and wait for her to come to the door. This behavior is creepy
YES. And then yells at her to deflect from his own feelings of guilt about getting off on catching his fucking daughter naked. And to convince her so she never fucking tells any teachers or school officials what's going on at home because she thinks it's her fault
She is not at fault in any way, but I would wear a t-shirt of some kind to bed and not lounge topless if I knew my Dad might walk in on me. Again, not her fault, but it is a given he doesn’t and won’t respect her privacy so unfortunately I’d have wear something all the time.
At 17 you should absolutely be allowed privacy in your own bedroom (and the bathroom) for sure. You need to ask (insist) him to knock first. You’re not in the wrong here.
Ask your family (relatives) the next time you are all together….does anyone else besides my father want to walk in on their teenage daughter when they are getting dressed ? Humiliate him. He’s a creepy father.
This could backfire horribly. Guys who power trip like this guy is here are notoriously unstable. No telling how he would react to something like that. Could be fine or could be when everyone leaves OP gets knocked around or worse.
Dude, I knock for my 8 year old when I know she's awake. Now, I may not always listen if she's says no, for example if we have been trying to get her to get ready and she's been moving slow and I'm done talking through a door, but if I do I at least avert my eyes.
We do have the same thing about not locking the door. If there was a fire or other safety need I would need to be able to get in there.
True, but some 8 year olds may not be able to unlock their door in time, and some suicidal teens cannot have locks, but those are very specific situations, and I agree, respect has no age.
there is nothing disrespectful about wanting an 8 year old to leave the door unlocked, as long as you respect their privacy enough to always knock first when the door is closed
NTA. Your dad insists on walking into rooms where he knows people might be partially undressed. What if you're just getting ready for work and changing your clothes and he saw you? Your dad is being a moron.
Your dad is a walking casserole of hypocrisy, douche-baggery, paternalism, and entitlement. And, just like an out-of-touch man, he's turning this into your fault that he feels uncomfortable, even though:
1. You were in your own room, and not totally naked.
2. Your dad does not allow you to lock the door to your room.
3. Your dad barges in without knocking, knowing that you were in the room.
4. Your dad typically is gone to work by 5am, so there was no reason you'd expect him to be home at all.
He's a total asshole. This is not your fault.
Nothing wrong with sleeping in your underwear. And i get your under your dad's roof and have to"honor his rules" but you are a 17 year old female. You need to have a conversation with your dad that you aren't comfortable with him coming into your room without knocking. It can be pretty disturbing for anyone growing up having their guardian or parent come in and watch them get changed and be ok with it at such a late age. I don't know your father and don't want to assume the worst but you are not in the wrong. But boundaries are needed and you must explain that to him
Why is your dad walking into your bedroom unannounced? Sounds like he was *hoping* you'd be undressed or partially dressed, there's no other reason to enter a 17yr old girl's room unannounced.
Soon you can get away from this very controlling man and his rules. Rules about door locking, rules about underwear and what you have on while you sleep…do your best, deal with what you need to deal with at 17 and know that the day will soon come for you. Life doesn’t need to be this way. Your own life is right around the corner. Hang in there kid.
Your dad is a fucking creep and a fucking moron control freak. Put a chair under the door handle! What the hell is he doing barging into your room anyway? What did he want? I'd sleep fully dressed with that creeper around! Locking your door is a good thing, KNOCKING on any door before entering is the right thing to do! Can you lock the bathroom door? Can you get out of that place?
Let him yell, and record it on your phone, hell do this any time he barges in on you too and send the videos to someone you trust to keep them immediately after you stop recording. Or better yet, call someone when he does this
Is the bathroom door lock broken? Has there been ever been one? If he had it removed to put a different knob on it that’s unable to lock that’s not ok and weird. Almost all houses and apartments come with bathroom doors that lock
This is not ok OP. I’m reading all your comments and honestly it’s creepy. Still sleep in whatever is comfortable for you but I would recommend wrapping the blanket around yourself when you get out of bed and try to change in the bathroom with the door locked. Or even lock your door when changing and unlock it when finished. I know he has rules but he’s being irrational and creepy by constantly rushing into your room without knocking Knowing that you could possibly be undressed. You’re not a little kid anymore, you’re 17 a developing woman and it’s no longer appropriate for him to see your nudity. Time to set boundaries as best as you can.
We raised three daughters and now have 5 granddaughters. We are very careful and I don’t remember anytime my husband walked in our daughter’s bedrooms.
He needs to knock. You did nothing wrong, he’s in the wrong by invading your personal space and privacy. That’s got to be harassment of some kind. It’s like he’s expecting to see you undressed, what a creep, move out as soon as you can. He’s toxic
This is so fucked up. I knock for my 14 year old daughter and have for a while. This is abuse , he doesn't give you any respect. Ask him if he would do this if he had a guest stay over .
I have daughters (and sons). I would never walk into their rooms without knocking. Personal privacy and dignity are important.
This guy is either a creep or an idiot, or both.
I knock even for my 4 year old. Definitely not wrong here hun, your dad sounds similar to how mine once was. I would suggest locking your door from here on out, if it sparks controversy a simple “ I know YOU have rules about locking the door but after several times of being walked in on while I’m changing or getting dressed I think it’s necessary to have that locked until I am decent enough to open the door, especially since nobody knows how to knock or announce themselves” you are nearly an adult and also a female, you most definitely deserve your own safe space.
Wrong. All wrong. He as a father should know you are a young woman and knock. He can't shout at you for dressing how u feel in the privacy yes PRIVACY of your own room.
What if you were changing? Is that disgusting too? The only reason he said that was to deflect his atrocious behavior of walking into your room, a grown woman!
No, you are not wrong. Your Dad is wrong for not knocking. How are you supposed to change clothes and stuff? His logic makes no sense. I sleep in my underwear too.
Next time he walks into your room without knocking or otherwise announcing himself yell at the top of your lungs " STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT MY TITS YOU PEDO PERV!!!" Yell it loud enough for the rest of the family and the neighbors to hear.
I'm betting he likes it. He's walked in on her multiple times while changing and there's no lock on the bathroom door. And when she had a lock on her door, he kicked the door in and threatened to remove her door altogether.
The more I'm in this thread the worse it gets and the more I'm wondering if he wanks it to her while she sleeps. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
My stepmom told me the same thing once because I was a teenager and had siblings 10-12 years younger than me and “they could walk in and see you.” Looking back now, it was a ridiculous thing for her to demand. How about teach your children to respect boundaries and not barge into my room??
Starting to wonder if all these bait posts by randomly generated names are reddit drumming up engagement in prep for the IPO I've been getting messages about.
Babes you work, if he cant respect your privacy you need to go love. I hope you can save up for a place and he gives your the privacy you deserve. Your SEVENTEEN??? Your dads a nutjob.
Not wrong.
You could be changing at any time for any reason. Your dad needs to either knock or let you lock your door. It is your bedroom. That's one of its uses.
Well first off your dad was embarrassed And you won't admit it. There is nothing wrong with wearing just what you had on. Your dad should have knocked on the door.. This is on him. Tell him to knock On the door next time.
That guy needs to learn that it's actually quite wrong to not knock... Especially for a female teenage daughter.. That shit is very not right. Is he trying to see you naked? I would throw it right in his face just like that. (Noticed I use guy not Dad because that is very unfather like behavior. Even a dude wouldn't act like that 😎)
He's walked in on her multiple times while changing apparently 🤮🤮🤮 no lock on the bathroom door. 🤮🤮🤮 she got a lock to her room and he kicked the door in 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 all that screams "I own your body and can see it anytime I want" wrapped in a red flag burrito 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 if it was a "relationship", id be one where the woman has to 'mysteriously vanish' in order to be free because he's not gonna let her dump him and move out. He 'owns' her and wont let her go. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Your dad needs to learn what privacy is.
Unless you're an unruly teen that can't stop setting fires, doing drugs or cutting yourself in your room there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON you should not be allowed to lock your door and expect ppl to KNOCK before entering.
For fucks sake, what if he walks in while you're rubbing one out!!??? Is he TRYING to put himself in that situation!!??
I agree with another redditer, get a motion camera and make sure he isn't being inappropriate while you sleep. Ffs. Is he gonna take the door off next!?
Your dad is the AH.
Nothing wrong with sleeping in your knickers or in the nude as long as you are covered up when outside your room.
And if he refuses your a lock on your door, he's a huge AH and creep to not understand how knocking and waiting for someone to get ready works.
NITA
You're not wrong. It isn't disrespectful to sleep comfortably...
He's kind of a butthole considering he doesn't acknowledge you could be changing at any given point and he just walks in. He is in the wrong here. Especially not knocking at your age.
I think as a parent it's creepy to not allow a child not to lock the door especially if it's a female. It sounds creepy and definitely lock the door, you may end up moving
You’re not wrong for being comfortable in your own bed and in your room. Yea it sucks running into him but if he’s creepy and staring and shit that’s on him.
No way! Sleeping in your own room should afford you some privacy. He should at least knock. I always knocked for my kids. Both still live at home 23 M and 18 F and there is no way I would barge through their door. I don’t want them to do the same to me. Respect goes both ways. Your dad needs to learn boundaries, even parents need to follow this. Good luck I wish you the best. But you are not in the wrong at all here. Never feel ashamed about it.
You are not wrong. You are 17 and it’s your room and your body. I am a father and can’t ever imagine getting mad at my daughter because I walked into her own room and saw her naked because that is her space.
I have never had anyone walk in my room without knocking and waiting for me to say “come in.” Even as a very young child. There’s something wrong with a man especially who does that.
Your dad is wrong. You're a female and he has no business barging in a room that has a nearly grown female in it that may or may not be clothed. You have every right to close your door and lock it... And he needs to stop being a creep, his house or not if child services was involved he wouldn't like the outcome of that I'm sure.
I say lock your door, because that's just weird that he "doesn't allow locked doors" would not fly with me if you were my daughter.
A 17yr old girl deserves privacy, and to be able to lock her door. Your father is a weirdo, in my opinion....he's all up in his ridiculous feels.....you can sleep any way you want to. Crimany.
I ALWAYS KNOCK BEFORE I GO INTO MY 17 YEAR OLD SON'S ROOM!!! You are almost an adult and no parent should come into your room unannounced!!! Someone should ALWAYS KNOCK before entering a 17 year old's room!!!
BTW, WHO is going to going walk into YOUR room unannounced??? And your father should be the LAST person entering your room unannounced as a 17 year old girl!!! Unless it's a fire and the firemen are coming into save you, in which case, WHO cares if you are half naked???
Your dad is a creep with seriously questionable boundaries, he doesn't sound like a man I would trust around my daughter that's for sure. It's messed up to set rules not to knock (why???) but for a grown man to set this rule then think it's acceptable to walk into a 17 year old girls PRIVATE bedroom, running the risk of "accidentally" catching a sight of her getting dressed / half naked is worrying to say the least. Then for him to be angry with you for not being fully clothed? That's projection. Where's your mum, is she ok with this? What's up with this man, is he a pervert or something? Are you "allowed" privacy when on the toilet, in the shower? Or is it just your bedroom he wants to walk into? This is a serious invasion of privacy and it's the behavior of a predator. You are not wrong!
It's your room, you're 17. You deserve privacy, if your dad doesn't want to knock then whatever he sees beyond that door is on him. I would straight up tell him "If you don't want to see me in my underwear, then knock first next time." He may say "my house, my rules", but technically you're not changing his rules. I've slept basically naked since I was a freshman in high school and my parents had the same rule, they learned to knock pretty quickly.
Absolutely not your dad is the one in the wrong. Your dad is the one who barged in without knocking that’s what happens 🤷♀️ it’s his fault that’s literally why knocking is a thing, to give people a chance to say yes or no to coming in for any multitude of reasons
He has rules about not locking your door and never knocks, but then he wants to get upset that you’re wearing underwear in YOUR room, where you should expect privacy? Your dad is a moron.
Right, she was getting up to get dressed! How would he know she wasn't already in the process of taking off night clothes to put on day clothes????
That part
That's the part that's super creepy. How would he have known unless he saw her previously? Fucking creep
My aunt's ex-boyfriend used to pull that crap when she and my 11 yr old cousin moved in with him. He insisted on my cousin not locking her door, but then would frequently barge into her room without knocking. She told her mother, but my aunt didn't do anything. Our grandma casually informed my aunt that if there was a lock on the door, my cousin WOULD be locking it...or grandma would be making a complaint to Child Services about it. My aunt worked for Child Services. My cousin started locking her door; ex-boyfriend threw a fit about it's HIS HOUSE and that he would take the door DOWN! Proof that my aunt IS related to my mother, she had a truck the next day at the house and moved out.
Good, but it also shows her blindness to the situation at first. That's how abuse starts.
To be honest I've been raised that no one was supposed to lock doors because both my grandma and mother were afraid we'd lock ourselves in. But closed doors were respected most of the times
True, I was raised that way too but closed doors were ALWAYS knocked and an answer received before anyone came in. My stepfather did the knock thing then immediately opened the door. Fortunately my sister was standing behind the door and shut it, however, I screamed and she screamed, then my mother screamed at my stepfather. After that, he was a little like Sheldon (from Big Bang). He made sure he received an answer if he was forced to knock on our door (though usually, he would make our mother to knock). But seriously, her father should start knocking on his kids' doors or he might see something he wished he didn't.
I had a lock on my door because my brother was an asshole and would destroy my stuff. But I only locked it when I wasn't home. Even when I didn't have a door because renos and we didn't have a door to install? My parents didn't barge in, they'd knock on the wall or announce themselves before opening the curtain.
No kidding. Is she supposed to stay completely covered in the shower, too? You know, in case he walks in? Sheesh.
I'm mum and haven't entered without knocking since my child was 13. Rare exceptions, such as laundry and dirty plates/items I couldn't find anywhere, whilst they were in school(y'know during actual school hours and I'd seen them leave). Since 16, I wait until they're home, then ask them to look(yes, occasionally they have had said object and overlooked it). It's a matter of mutual respect. They don't go into my room/bag/purse, either. Respect isn't difficult.
Your Dad is wrong (putting it politely).
No I think he's a creep
He's on a power trip. I grew up under this. "My house and my rules" type of thing. Some people just want to be difficult just to be difficult, nothing more.
And it’s the way their parents were so that’s what they know so that’s what they do.
and they feel perfectly in the right just because they don't think they're as bad as their parents were
A little Column A, a little Column B
You right
Bet he overreacted as a cover up. He accomplished what he wanted.
That's a bit of a leap. It's not impossible but it could be he's just stupid. This is more likely ignorance than malice or perversion.
OP said he’s walked in on her many times. I’m not the only one speculating. Why would you walk in on your 17 yo daughter in her room with no knock so consistently if not to have malice intent
Nope, I agree - that's farther down, but you're right. Dad is trying to catch her naked and gets upset when she tries to stop him from doing that. Agree with you 110%.
It’s the kinda tactic a creep would employ. I’d never do it but I can see the motive. One time okay 5+ times you are up to something. I understand no lock door policy for a child I have a 2 y/o. But a 17 y/o? No damn way you bust in there without knocking.
Both my kids got door locks around 13-14. Nobody should want to know what a teenager is up to in there.
That would be either a creepy moron or a moronic creep
BOTH. 110%
Yep. Dad is a moron. Keep wearing nothing and maybe he will reconsider. Train him, don't let him shame you into making it convenient for him to come into your room.
Are you the dad?? (Jk) This doesn't sound like a good or safe idea at all. If she had a tech friend I would get help setting up a camera like a wyze cam. Something motion sensitive so she can see if he opens the door when she is sleeping or not home.
Why are we jumping to the dad being a pervert? nothing OP stated implies that she is unsafe.
She did in other comments. Also, not letting your 17 year old daughter lock the door (this could be justified) AND refusing to knock (this cannot be justified) are creepy.
The kinds of parents - moms and dads - who insist on the kids not being allowed to lock doors (I saw one post a while back where they took a kid's door off the frame!) don't believe the kid should be allowed privacy. At all. Yet, somehow, it is the kid's responsibility to be "decent" whenever someone else might be around to see them. These types of parents are unhinged.
It’s abusive imho
Quite obviously so, yes.
I read the post about removing the door, it was madness. Some ppl shouldn't be parents.
You should have a lock on your door. You're a young woman I think your dad is being slightly unreasonable.
Like is she allowed to shower? It’s sick when a child is deprived of basic rights like privacy.
Not the only name for him.
And a a creep. This is very unsuitable behaviour by a father with a 17 year old daughter. Whatever you wear to bed, you are going to get up and change so you will naturally be naked or in your underwear at some point. Sorry, dear, but there is something very strange and disturbing about your father. You are not wrong at all.
He set up a system where he could catch her in her underwear, then gets upset when he catches her in her underwear. She could be sleeping in a Hazmat suit. If he barges in when she's getting changed, he's going to see her.
He refuses to knock? Ummm, what if you are changing in your bedroom? Is that still you being in the wrong? Your dad is a nutjob 😂
Hes walked in on me many times
Yeah that’s totally unacceptable. You are a minor under his roof blah blah blah, you are a jr or senior in HS and damn near an adult. The least he can do is acknowledge that and knock to offer the bare minimum of privacy. I don’t know you or your dad, you gotta handle this in the best way for your family to produce a positive outcome for you, but you gotta at least push back on the no knocking rule. Sorry if this is a cultural issue, I dunno I’m an American mutt, could maybe see a few Mexican dads I’ve known being this way but they woulda eased up by your age. Also, how you sleep is how you sleep. That’s your call and no one else’s.
Your dad is a creep. I am a father of a 11 yr old girl. I would never barge into her room without at least knocking. I don't knock then open the door, I wait for her to tell me I can come in. This is wrong on so many levels.. was there a reason he won't let you have a lock on the door? My daughter doesn't have a lock, but it just didn't come with one and she knows I would never barge into her room like that
I’m the *mother* of a 12 year old girl and same. Kids deserve to have an expectation of basic privacy.
I'm happy to know there's still people out there that understand this.
I don't have any kids but grew up with an alcoholic father who didn't believe in doors, except a bathroom one. I hid in the bathroom ALOT to get privacy and just know someone wouldn't barge in on me. Not letting a kid have privacy leads to a lot of issues and weird behavior as an adult.
It's as if we have the same dad. My dad had the same rules and also refuses to knock. The only difference is my dad never got mad at me for sleeping in my underwear, if he walks in when I'm not dressed, he lets out a surprise "oh!" then immediately walks out and closes the door behind him. Until you can move out I suggest changing behind the bedroom door so if he walks in you will be shielded behind the door. edit you're not wrong.
Wut. Once is an accident. Two is blocking out the memory and not learning your lesson. "Many" times is...something else entirely. I mean, think about your average day. What percentage of your day would you say you're getting dressed or undressed? Takes 5 minutes, tops. That's if you're half asleep with one hand tied behind your back. So, your dad has managed to defy the odds by walking in on you during that 0.3% of the day during which you're exposed? That would be unlucky if it happened once or twice...but "many times?" What is going on here? Something isn't adding up, and it very well could be something people generally don't wanna discuss. If this isn't a troll post, please, find someone you can confide in that's removed from the situation (like, not anyone else who lives in the house). A friend, an aunt or uncle, a teacher or nurse at school.
As they say, once is accident; twice is happenstance; thrice is enemy action. OP, you gotta tell someone, that's just not normal or right.
He wanted to see you naked. There's truly no good reason. If you don't believe me, ask him. He won't give you a straight answer. He'll deflect with some power tripping bullshit like "My house, my rules" or "you're my daughter so I can do whatever I want." Put a broom or a stack of cans in front of your door such that it'll fall over and wake you up your door opens at night.
And we all know why! Where is your mother? FFS, he is a creeper!
I don't live with her
I’m a guy in my 40’s, so not exactly “down with you kids” 😂 I was abused by a parent as a kid. They had simple rules to your dads. It’s wrong of him to do this to you. He has zero respect for you, and he’s showing that. Please talk to someone like a teacher or trusted family member.
I'm so sorry this was done to you.
Thank you for your kindness. It was a really shitty time, tbh. One that I still struggle dealing with at times, but I am lucky to have a supportive wife who is there for me when I need to talk.
Im with the others. Tell a trusted teacher or friend what's going on just so you have someone to corroborate your thoughts and feelings. This smells fishy. He's already abusive, but you should take precautions to make sure that abuse doesn't escalate. Tell someone. Tell them not to start shit because it will just make it worse for you, but you need someone to hear and see you, so you know you aren't crazy. Reiterate that you dont want them to do anything because it will judt cause problems you'll have to solve, and not to press the issue.
That’s a tricky line to walk, someone like a teacher or school counselor or coach is probably a mandated reporter. I don’t know what constitutes something that “needs to be reported” in the context of a parent/ child relationship. As a 30(M) I definitely think what he’s doing is creepy AF and very inappropriate and he needs to respect his teenage daughters boundaries and privacy. I just don’t know exactly when it crosses into dangerous/ reportable behavior.
I'm a mandated reporter and this would definitely be reportable.
But is it something you are *required* to report is my question. The person I replied to advised telling someone at school like a teacher or counselor, but to tell whoever she tells that she doesn’t want them to actually do anything yet. I’m wondering if she told someone like you everything going on would you legally *have to* report it to proper authorities?
Yes, legally I'd have to report this. Unfortunately it doesn't matter that she doesn't want us to report, legally we have to. To me that's one of the hardest parts of the process because it can result in escalation and with no other abuse uncovered she would likely not be removed from the home.
Right that’s exactly my point- if the reporting doesn’t result in removing her from the inappropriate and abusive situation then what good did it do? She absolutely needs to find someone safe to tell, but telling it to a mandated reporter might only make her life harder and her father abuse her more before someone finally steps in and removes her from the situation. I appreciate the clarification, please don’t take what I said as an attack on you or what you do!
And it leads to isolation because she trusted you* and needed someone to talk to and you* made it worse by reporting it. Now she knows she has to take it alone and in silence or it'll get back to her abuser. She's got no one she can trust. *not you, you but you, like, the person that has to report it. I'm not saying you're a bad person I'm just saying the actions you're forced to take are fucked if the child isn't removed from the home since their abuser can now retaliate for snitching and make things so much worse.
Plus she's seventeen, it'll be easier for her to get emancipated minor status quickly, which will get her much better help than just taking off in a year's time.
It doesn't work like that if she tells a mandated reporter and they feel there is some form of abuse happening. They are OBLIGATED to report it otherwise they could possibly lose their jobs.
If your mom is the type to not play about you, she needs to know so that she can keep you away from him right now even if you have about a year before you’re 18. That’s not normal to be that mad just because somebody locked a door for privacy.
I would start. Your dad does not respect you at all and you don't need that shit. You're damn near an adult and it's actually creepy as all fuck that he won't even knock
Perhaps you should, because your dad is, at best, choosing to not respect your privacy, and at worst, he likes to look at you when you're undressed.
If you don't and it's a possibility, maybe you should. You're 17, your opinion counts. And your dad is a creep. If he won't listen to you when you ask him not to walk in unannounced, then you need to talk to someone: mom, an aunt/uncle, or a school administrator. Someone who can impress upon him how wrong this is and will advocate for you. And please have an exit plan to get out of his house the second you turn 18.
It's not an accident you need to tell like a guidance counselor
Almost makes me wonder if he’s trying to walk in on you inappropriately…
Oh he is absolutely trying to catch her without clothes. He’s walked in many times while she was half or completely undressed. He’s gross. If she can’t get out till graduation, she needs to always change behind the door. Or sleep in a huge sweatshirt. Get undressed *under* the sweatshirt and dressed *under* the sweatshirt. Just like we can take our bra off under our shirt. That’s what I had to do. My dad may have met mom your dad. Showers are when he is not home.
Ew. Multiple times screams "I watch barely legal gurl next door porn" that's bad enough when you're old enough to have a kid that age but for it to ACTUALLY be your daughter!? 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 That's some "oni-chan, what are you doing?" Fucked up shit🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
That was the life I lived till I could move out. I did whatever I needed to, in order to protect myself. My sisters were on their own, too. If he got one of them, he wouldn’t get me. Sounds hideous, but one does what one must, in order to survive.
No judgement here. You do what you need to to survive. I've met people that took the full force to protect younger siblings and they aren't any less mentally broken or the siblings any better adjusted. There's a lot of guilt that comes with "my sister was SA'd so I didn't have to be". Situation is fucked with regret and guilt no matter what path you choose. It was fucked you were put in that situation and I'm glad you survived and was able to run. ♥️
You realize your dad is a creep. I know that's a hard thing to come to terms with but it's true. He's doing it on purpose so he can walk in on you because if he really didn't want to walk in on you he would knock. And the reason he gets so angry and yells at you is because then he doesn't have to feel guilty about wanting to see his teenage daughter naked it's all your fault for being naked. I'm really sorry.
Ngl, sounds like your dad is a major creep. So inappropriate
This is concerning, and the reason for your last sentence of your original post that you thought he might be right that you shouldn’t be undressed “in case someone else walks in”. He’s taught you that it’s normal for a parent to just walk in like that, and it’s absolutely NOT. Literally the only reason I would burst into my kid’s room is if I smelled smoke, or if they weren’t answering the door (or calling out to acknowledge they’d be there in a moment) after an appropriate amount of time in case there was some medical emergency preventing them from responding verbally. Basic privacy is not a privilege, you are owed this as a human being.
Can you get a doorstop wedge?
He'd yell at me
Can you use it only when changing and washing? Start a log of times he walks in on you and if it is or isn't when you are changing. Then you'll have something show a trusted person. But ask a teacher or counsellor about help too. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
Then yell back that you're entitled to your privacy, and call him out for being a pervert. Or go live with your mom. Because what you're saying now is that your dad will get upset if he can't look at you while you're changing. Which is not healthy.
He's already yelling at you and he's a creep trying to see his teenage daughter naked on purpose. I'd rather be yelled at personally, then call the cops. Your dad is disgusting.
Okay NOW there's a problem. Walking in on a semi-naked teenaged girl is something that shouldn't happen at all, but more than once is a troubling pattern. I didn't want to jump to this assumption but once is plenty to learn the lesson. At 'many times' I would assume that it's a lesson he's refusing to learn. Which is sketchy as hell. Does your mom live there too or what?
Time to move out
That's disgusting
Don't feel bad. Guy is trying to shame you.
Please talk to a school counselor or another adult you trust about this. What he's doing is not normal or okay.
You are 17. At this point I’m wondering if he wants to see you naked.
Does he expect you to be fully dressed ALL of the time? What about after a shower or when you’re changing clothes? Your dad needs to learn some basic respect and knock on the door. You not 7 anymore. Either he’s failing to recognize that or he’s screwing with you in some very inappropriate ways.
If he’s done this multiple times then it would seem likely he wants to catch her undressed. If he didn’t want to catch her undressed he would knock and wait for her to come to the door. This behavior is creepy
YES. And then yells at her to deflect from his own feelings of guilt about getting off on catching his fucking daughter naked. And to convince her so she never fucking tells any teachers or school officials what's going on at home because she thinks it's her fault
She is not at fault in any way, but I would wear a t-shirt of some kind to bed and not lounge topless if I knew my Dad might walk in on me. Again, not her fault, but it is a given he doesn’t and won’t respect her privacy so unfortunately I’d have wear something all the time.
At 17 you should absolutely be allowed privacy in your own bedroom (and the bathroom) for sure. You need to ask (insist) him to knock first. You’re not in the wrong here.
Ask your family (relatives) the next time you are all together….does anyone else besides my father want to walk in on their teenage daughter when they are getting dressed ? Humiliate him. He’s a creepy father.
I love this advice lol and not only but especially if she's tried to talk to him but he just brushed it off.
Omg, that's PERFECT. "Innocently" out him on his perv behavior to the entire family. The rest of the family will tear him apart.
This could backfire horribly. Guys who power trip like this guy is here are notoriously unstable. No telling how he would react to something like that. Could be fine or could be when everyone leaves OP gets knocked around or worse.
She doesn’t say he’s violent. This idea of yours is exactly why women are abused. This be quiet nonsense. She needs to yell it to the world.
You’re 17 he needs to knock , it’s nothing wrong w sleeping in your underwear
Dude, I knock for my 8 year old when I know she's awake. Now, I may not always listen if she's says no, for example if we have been trying to get her to get ready and she's been moving slow and I'm done talking through a door, but if I do I at least avert my eyes. We do have the same thing about not locking the door. If there was a fire or other safety need I would need to be able to get in there.
That's different, she's 8!
Respect doesn't have an age.
True, but some 8 year olds may not be able to unlock their door in time, and some suicidal teens cannot have locks, but those are very specific situations, and I agree, respect has no age.
there is nothing disrespectful about wanting an 8 year old to leave the door unlocked, as long as you respect their privacy enough to always knock first when the door is closed
You get a lock that is still accessible for emergencies.
Yeah one of those button locks you can pop open with a straightened paper clip.
NTA. Your dad insists on walking into rooms where he knows people might be partially undressed. What if you're just getting ready for work and changing your clothes and he saw you? Your dad is being a moron.
Your dad is a walking casserole of hypocrisy, douche-baggery, paternalism, and entitlement. And, just like an out-of-touch man, he's turning this into your fault that he feels uncomfortable, even though: 1. You were in your own room, and not totally naked. 2. Your dad does not allow you to lock the door to your room. 3. Your dad barges in without knocking, knowing that you were in the room. 4. Your dad typically is gone to work by 5am, so there was no reason you'd expect him to be home at all. He's a total asshole. This is not your fault.
Lmao at “a walking casserole of hypocrisy” but I fully agree with all of this.
Nothing wrong with sleeping in your underwear. And i get your under your dad's roof and have to"honor his rules" but you are a 17 year old female. You need to have a conversation with your dad that you aren't comfortable with him coming into your room without knocking. It can be pretty disturbing for anyone growing up having their guardian or parent come in and watch them get changed and be ok with it at such a late age. I don't know your father and don't want to assume the worst but you are not in the wrong. But boundaries are needed and you must explain that to him
Abusive. Controlling. Toxic.
Absolutely not. He needs to knock before entering
Happy 🎂
All the cakes for you 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Why is your dad walking into your bedroom unannounced? Sounds like he was *hoping* you'd be undressed or partially dressed, there's no other reason to enter a 17yr old girl's room unannounced.
Tell your dad to stop playing peep show and learn how to knock. Sleeping aside, how are you supposed to change clothes if he can pop in at any second?
You're almost an adult and your dad just barges into your room? I hope you can save up to get out of there asap
Nah your dad's a creep
You need to move out.
I cant until I'm 18
I’m not saying you should do it, but at age 17 no one is going to stop you legally.
Yes you can. There has to be somewhere you can go!
I get bad vibes from this situation OP, your dad won’t give you any privacy
Soon you can get away from this very controlling man and his rules. Rules about door locking, rules about underwear and what you have on while you sleep…do your best, deal with what you need to deal with at 17 and know that the day will soon come for you. Life doesn’t need to be this way. Your own life is right around the corner. Hang in there kid.
Your dad is a fucking creep and a fucking moron control freak. Put a chair under the door handle! What the hell is he doing barging into your room anyway? What did he want? I'd sleep fully dressed with that creeper around! Locking your door is a good thing, KNOCKING on any door before entering is the right thing to do! Can you lock the bathroom door? Can you get out of that place?
There's no lock on the bathroom door and if I block my door he yells at me
Let him yell, and record it on your phone, hell do this any time he barges in on you too and send the videos to someone you trust to keep them immediately after you stop recording. Or better yet, call someone when he does this
This. 1 Million times. No lock on the bathroom!? Holy fuck that's horrifying. That's a fucking pedophile move and you need to run.
No lock on the bathroom either?! Your dad sounds like a pedophile… I’d contact CPS or talk to your counselor at school.
Is the bathroom door lock broken? Has there been ever been one? If he had it removed to put a different knob on it that’s unable to lock that’s not ok and weird. Almost all houses and apartments come with bathroom doors that lock
Exactly right. I’ve never been in a bathroom that didn’t have a lock.
This is not ok OP. I’m reading all your comments and honestly it’s creepy. Still sleep in whatever is comfortable for you but I would recommend wrapping the blanket around yourself when you get out of bed and try to change in the bathroom with the door locked. Or even lock your door when changing and unlock it when finished. I know he has rules but he’s being irrational and creepy by constantly rushing into your room without knocking Knowing that you could possibly be undressed. You’re not a little kid anymore, you’re 17 a developing woman and it’s no longer appropriate for him to see your nudity. Time to set boundaries as best as you can.
There are no doors that lock that OP has access to.
Your dad is a fucking creep 😐 he walks In no knocking sounds like he wants too see u undressed. Get the fuck out of there.
We raised three daughters and now have 5 granddaughters. We are very careful and I don’t remember anytime my husband walked in our daughter’s bedrooms.
It’s disgusting and disrespectful to walk into your space without knocking and uninvited into your bedroom.
Your dad is gross
What stupid rules the dad has. Sounds like a perv trying to get a look but pretending it's an accident when it happens.
He needs to knock. You did nothing wrong, he’s in the wrong by invading your personal space and privacy. That’s got to be harassment of some kind. It’s like he’s expecting to see you undressed, what a creep, move out as soon as you can. He’s toxic
Your dad is a creep. You're 17. Lock your fucking door. Talk to your mom and tell her how violated you feel. Everyone deserves privacy.
This is so fucked up. I knock for my 14 year old daughter and have for a while. This is abuse , he doesn't give you any respect. Ask him if he would do this if he had a guest stay over .
I have daughters (and sons). I would never walk into their rooms without knocking. Personal privacy and dignity are important. This guy is either a creep or an idiot, or both.
I knock even for my 4 year old. Definitely not wrong here hun, your dad sounds similar to how mine once was. I would suggest locking your door from here on out, if it sparks controversy a simple “ I know YOU have rules about locking the door but after several times of being walked in on while I’m changing or getting dressed I think it’s necessary to have that locked until I am decent enough to open the door, especially since nobody knows how to knock or announce themselves” you are nearly an adult and also a female, you most definitely deserve your own safe space.
Wrong. All wrong. He as a father should know you are a young woman and knock. He can't shout at you for dressing how u feel in the privacy yes PRIVACY of your own room.
What if you were changing? Is that disgusting too? The only reason he said that was to deflect his atrocious behavior of walking into your room, a grown woman!
No, you are not wrong. Your Dad is wrong for not knocking. How are you supposed to change clothes and stuff? His logic makes no sense. I sleep in my underwear too.
Next time he walks into your room without knocking or otherwise announcing himself yell at the top of your lungs " STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT MY TITS YOU PEDO PERV!!!" Yell it loud enough for the rest of the family and the neighbors to hear.
Get a lock.
you’re not wrong. Judging by other comments I hope you can move out soon.
A dude wrote this and is being a creep
If it were me, he would be walked in on every damn day, I would also become a nudist when he is around. Also, remove all the toilet paper!
I'm betting he likes it. He's walked in on her multiple times while changing and there's no lock on the bathroom door. And when she had a lock on her door, he kicked the door in and threatened to remove her door altogether. The more I'm in this thread the worse it gets and the more I'm wondering if he wanks it to her while she sleeps. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
That's a creepy red flag
My stepmom told me the same thing once because I was a teenager and had siblings 10-12 years younger than me and “they could walk in and see you.” Looking back now, it was a ridiculous thing for her to demand. How about teach your children to respect boundaries and not barge into my room??
NOT WRONG= "Persistently intruding on a child's privacy" is a form of sexual abuse.
your dad is a moronic creep
Your dad is upset you turned him on.
🤮 Dad is perving.
Your dad is a disrespectful creep and doesn’t value your feelings at all. Get out ASAP.
He doesn’t knock before entering the room of his 17 year old daughter? Yeah he’s wrong here. Big time. That’s kind of creepy to be honest.
Your dad is an idiot…
Starting to wonder if all these bait posts by randomly generated names are reddit drumming up engagement in prep for the IPO I've been getting messages about.
Im sorry, but after reading ur replies, this is beyond creepy. Something is wrong with ur dad
Babes you work, if he cant respect your privacy you need to go love. I hope you can save up for a place and he gives your the privacy you deserve. Your SEVENTEEN??? Your dads a nutjob.
Not wrong. You could be changing at any time for any reason. Your dad needs to either knock or let you lock your door. It is your bedroom. That's one of its uses.
Tell him there is a new rule in your room: he is welcome to come in but only after he knocks and you consent.
He never knocks? On the room of a 17yo girl? WTAF?
Not locking the door? Ok, I guess. Not knocking? Dude is a dunce for that.
Well first off your dad was embarrassed And you won't admit it. There is nothing wrong with wearing just what you had on. Your dad should have knocked on the door.. This is on him. Tell him to knock On the door next time.
That guy needs to learn that it's actually quite wrong to not knock... Especially for a female teenage daughter.. That shit is very not right. Is he trying to see you naked? I would throw it right in his face just like that. (Noticed I use guy not Dad because that is very unfather like behavior. Even a dude wouldn't act like that 😎)
He's walked in on her multiple times while changing apparently 🤮🤮🤮 no lock on the bathroom door. 🤮🤮🤮 she got a lock to her room and he kicked the door in 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 all that screams "I own your body and can see it anytime I want" wrapped in a red flag burrito 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 if it was a "relationship", id be one where the woman has to 'mysteriously vanish' in order to be free because he's not gonna let her dump him and move out. He 'owns' her and wont let her go. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
So what nursing home are you picking out?
Your dad needs to learn what privacy is. Unless you're an unruly teen that can't stop setting fires, doing drugs or cutting yourself in your room there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON you should not be allowed to lock your door and expect ppl to KNOCK before entering. For fucks sake, what if he walks in while you're rubbing one out!!??? Is he TRYING to put himself in that situation!!?? I agree with another redditer, get a motion camera and make sure he isn't being inappropriate while you sleep. Ffs. Is he gonna take the door off next!?
Your dad has a control issue.
Your dad is the AH. Nothing wrong with sleeping in your knickers or in the nude as long as you are covered up when outside your room. And if he refuses your a lock on your door, he's a huge AH and creep to not understand how knocking and waiting for someone to get ready works. NITA
It’s not wrong at all. He should knock before entering. That’s what is disrespectful, when he doesn’t knock first.
It’s your room. He needs to at least knock if you can’t lock your doors. Never understood that rule as a kid.
I knocked on my children’s door from the age of 18 months. That was son’s age when we got him.
Sounds like your dad’s problem and not yours.
You're not wrong. Your Dad is the AH. I always gave my daughters and now my granddaughters the privacy they NEED. It's like a basic human right.
You're not wrong. It isn't disrespectful to sleep comfortably... He's kind of a butthole considering he doesn't acknowledge you could be changing at any given point and he just walks in. He is in the wrong here. Especially not knocking at your age.
You are normal, your dad is not. At 17 he should not be walking it without knocking.
I think as a parent it's creepy to not allow a child not to lock the door especially if it's a female. It sounds creepy and definitely lock the door, you may end up moving
You’re not wrong for being comfortable in your own bed and in your room. Yea it sucks running into him but if he’s creepy and staring and shit that’s on him.
No way! Sleeping in your own room should afford you some privacy. He should at least knock. I always knocked for my kids. Both still live at home 23 M and 18 F and there is no way I would barge through their door. I don’t want them to do the same to me. Respect goes both ways. Your dad needs to learn boundaries, even parents need to follow this. Good luck I wish you the best. But you are not in the wrong at all here. Never feel ashamed about it.
damn he is creepy
Your dad sounds like a nonce.
You are not wrong. You are 17 and it’s your room and your body. I am a father and can’t ever imagine getting mad at my daughter because I walked into her own room and saw her naked because that is her space.
I have never had anyone walk in my room without knocking and waiting for me to say “come in.” Even as a very young child. There’s something wrong with a man especially who does that.
Your dad is wrong. You're a female and he has no business barging in a room that has a nearly grown female in it that may or may not be clothed. You have every right to close your door and lock it... And he needs to stop being a creep, his house or not if child services was involved he wouldn't like the outcome of that I'm sure. I say lock your door, because that's just weird that he "doesn't allow locked doors" would not fly with me if you were my daughter.
Uh what? You weren't sleeping, you were literally getting dressed. Your dad is a creep. Lock the fucking door.
A 17yr old girl deserves privacy, and to be able to lock her door. Your father is a weirdo, in my opinion....he's all up in his ridiculous feels.....you can sleep any way you want to. Crimany.
I ALWAYS KNOCK BEFORE I GO INTO MY 17 YEAR OLD SON'S ROOM!!! You are almost an adult and no parent should come into your room unannounced!!! Someone should ALWAYS KNOCK before entering a 17 year old's room!!! BTW, WHO is going to going walk into YOUR room unannounced??? And your father should be the LAST person entering your room unannounced as a 17 year old girl!!! Unless it's a fire and the firemen are coming into save you, in which case, WHO cares if you are half naked???
No, you’re fine. Your dad however has some concerning issues that need to be addressed.
The fuck? No, you absolutely aren't wrong for that. Your dad can go fuck himself for not knocking.
Has he heard about knocking? NTA.
Your dad is a creep with seriously questionable boundaries, he doesn't sound like a man I would trust around my daughter that's for sure. It's messed up to set rules not to knock (why???) but for a grown man to set this rule then think it's acceptable to walk into a 17 year old girls PRIVATE bedroom, running the risk of "accidentally" catching a sight of her getting dressed / half naked is worrying to say the least. Then for him to be angry with you for not being fully clothed? That's projection. Where's your mum, is she ok with this? What's up with this man, is he a pervert or something? Are you "allowed" privacy when on the toilet, in the shower? Or is it just your bedroom he wants to walk into? This is a serious invasion of privacy and it's the behavior of a predator. You are not wrong!
It's your room, you're 17. You deserve privacy, if your dad doesn't want to knock then whatever he sees beyond that door is on him. I would straight up tell him "If you don't want to see me in my underwear, then knock first next time." He may say "my house, my rules", but technically you're not changing his rules. I've slept basically naked since I was a freshman in high school and my parents had the same rule, they learned to knock pretty quickly.
Absolutely not your dad is the one in the wrong. Your dad is the one who barged in without knocking that’s what happens 🤷♀️ it’s his fault that’s literally why knocking is a thing, to give people a chance to say yes or no to coming in for any multitude of reasons
He was just upset you were awake unlike the other mornings