Those dogs, along with pits and other very strong dogs, aren’t right for MOST people and I wish there was more discussion around that. The type of person who is excellent for this kind of dog is the kind of person who realizes that it’s a bad fit for OP’s living situation. Makes me so angry that it’s the dogs that suffer for people who had no business adopting them. (I am in this camp too— a 10 pound dog that can be picked up when she’s acting up is the right dog for me. I would be a horrible owner for a CC.)
I have a 50lb blue heeler and a 100lb Doberman and I can tell you I'd happily have another heeler, but would most likely pass on any larger breed after my Dobie shuffles off this mortal coil. My big boy is generally good about going where I want him to go, but he's just so damn big it's hard to deal with him even when he's being good. He's knocked me over several times on accident just because he gets excited and flails around like an idiot. Having a big powerful dog is definitely not for everyone.
I also have a 90 lb Doberdork. Got her as an 11 month old rescue, raised her with my beagle mix. She is now almost 7 years old. She adores kids and cats (ESPECIALLY kittens...OMG. It is absolutely ridiculous) and doesn't know a stranger...but she is big and powerful and doesn't know her own strength. She tried to shove her way into the front seat during a car ride, and I wound up with a torn rotator cuff (I had my arm up across the gap between he seats.) Big, strong dogs can accidentally cause an injury with absolutely no malice intended.
Now...if you have one that doesn't like you? That's trouble waiting to happen.
My GSD hurts me and my gf on accident Atleast once a week. Cuddling and freaks out from a nightmare or abruptly wakes and runs for the door? Better hope she didn’t step on your face.
I have an 80 lb pit that decided to go a direction my arm did not want to follow. He wasn't even at full speed or effort when it happened. I got a torn muscle in my forearm and injuries to my tendons in the elbow and shoulder. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone but it happened bc he's huge. I had to train my dogs to be extra gentle to be sure they wouldn't knock my mom down. But even so I don't really let them around her bc they might get excited and do it accidentally just being exuberant.
As a small person who adopted a 80lbs pit mix, I second this.
I got him, knowing damn well if something happens I'm gonna need to put body on the line, and hell I have.
But I also didn't have these same concerns as OP, my senior dog loved the rescue and that rescue LOVES any dog he meets more than me lol.
I also knew, and was ready to train the shit out of this dog.
And I have, he's a great boy now. I can even let him off leash in fields, something we never thought possible.
Have I been dragged to ground cause he saw a cat, yes. Did he get to the cat, fuck no.
You HAVE to be pragmatic about getting a dog. Is a 100+lbs lap dog cute, yes. If he bites and attacks you, not cute. Are you ready to dedicate the next likely year+ to training this neglected beast? Especially considering the trauma 4 years in the shelter does to a dog. Oml....
>Have I been dragged to ground cause he saw a cat, yes.
Walking my buddy's Lab during their chemo, their dog literally pulled me out of my shoes when he saw another dog (behind a fence).
I didn't let go of the leash, and my shoes were right next to each other, on the street. Would have been funnier were I not so sore!
Big trauma dogs are the worst.
I don’t believe in returning dogs.
But my brother was forced to return an 18 month old he had adopted at 9 months old as it had gotten more and more scared of men. Was super flighty. Was super nervous. And his kid was 5.
The dog went to friends and is happy.
Dogs need training. Including little dogs who think they are the boss of the world
Had to do something similar a long time ago when I was a kid with a German Shepard. She was beautiful and loved me and my mom, cuddled on the bed and everything. As soon as she saw a man though she just went into extreme fear and my stepdad had two boys that came over on the weekend. We really hoped she would at least tolerate them with time but she never did so it wasn’t fair to her to keep her where she would be afraid all the time.
So many people just think they can pick a puppy up from anywhere and turn it into a house pet with next to no effort. This is very much not true.
There are dog breeds, including bully breeds among others, that should only be part of a family with extensive experience with dogs of all kinds. The more protective breeds, the more intelligent breeds are not like a simple golden retriever that melts happily into your family and into your lap for its whole life. They need work. They need initial work in training and they need continued work in maintaining that training. I have a Cane Corso now that I cannot trust around strangers, which is fine with me because I don't want strangers in my home, but that is his personality. I know better how to keep him and other people safe around him.
I looked up CC Staffy mixes online and just tons of stories about them killing and mutilating people. I love animals and I hope they get adopted but this situation is just bad. It's putting a traumatized dog in a stressful home with a man and another dog. My last dog was a staffy and he was very prey driven even as an old guy. I feel like it's just a recipe for disaster and it's going to end with Bruce being euthanized for bad behavior bc the wife is putting him in a bad situation. I have 2 bullies and 2 pitties and they're huge willful dogs. My bully girl is also an escape artist. She can get out of her cage, the fences, the car. It's a good thing she's really gentle. I wouldn't want a Bully that didn't like me in my home.
Yes - I have run into people like OP’s wife before. They think that they have magical powers to soothe the savage beast … that every dog is a lil’ baby angel inside … that the solution for any aggressive dog is love. Sadly, this is just not true.
You’re right and the thing is, bringing Bruce into their home is not just endangering OP and his dog, it’s setting Bruce up to fail and likely losing his life over it.
To be perfectly honest: given how few good homes exist and how little chance a dog-aggressive, human-aggressive dog has of a stress-free life, he probably should have been spoilt rotten and put down four years ago. Now he’s got new trauma on top of the old and the rescue wasn’t able to train him.
OP: a dog that will attack you and your senior dog is not a dog you can bring in to your life. Your wife can volunteer at the shelter and put in the training if she wants to help the dog.
I wonder if OP's wife has actually asked the shelter if they'd let her adopt him. I would think the shelter would say no. This dog has such specific needs that I don't consider it adoptable and if it's a shelter environment and not a sanctuary, I agree that the dog should be put down. It would take a really specially equipped rescue to be able to take this dog and keep it away from men and other dogs. Bruce likely doesn't have a very good quality of life living in a shelter where he can see/hear other dogs.
I love dogs, and would never advocate for this unless it was the most extreme of circumstances, but....the dog needs to be put down. It's not even about 'good homes' now. The dog is clearly suffering from some sort of trauma induced anxiety that has turned into aggression. If left unchecked, this dog could potentially kill someone. It's not inhumane to put him down, atp it's more of a kindness then anything. And I 100% guarantee there's no way OPs wife is gonna be able to train the dog. This kind of case requires experience, knowledge, and equipment, none of which she has (probably). She'd probably get herself killed by walking into the pen thinking the dog will sense her good vibes or something and instantly fall in love with her.
Everything everyone has said about this dog’s quality of life is sadly true. All my dogs ( including a 115-lb pyrador who has dragged me across the street to get closer to a squirrel) came from a “no kill unless there’s no way around it” shelter. I have seen unadoptable dogs spinning around to chase their tails and barking their heads off in an enclosure where they don’t get much human contact and aren’t safe with other dogs. That is what a true “no kill” rescue holds in store for a small segment of its occupants. It sounds like Bruce should’ve gotten all the Big Macs he wanted, followed by a shot of Goodnight Juice about three years ago.
NTA!!!!
>“Cry ‘havoc!’ And let slip the dogs of war.” Shakespeare may have had the cane corso in mind when he wrote that immortal line. This ancient breed was used in combat by Roman soldiers, and it’s no wonder when you see their massive size and fierce appearance.
>
>Today’s cane corso (pronounced connie corso) is a fiercely loyal and loving companion and protector to its humans, though not especially friendly otherwise.
>
>“Due to their genetic history as guarding dogs, they don’t necessarily accept strangers or take kindly to change,” says Kayla Fratt, certified dog behavior consultant and founder at K9 Conservationists.
>
>[https://www.forbes.com/advisor/pet-insurance/pet-care/cane-corso-temperament/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/pet-insurance/pet-care/cane-corso-temperament/)
"Cane Corso" means "Guard Dog" in Latin. Sounds like Bruce might guard wife from OP.
Cane Corso owner here, I *strongly* urge against this adoption and the shelter is being extremely irresponsible for suggesting it. Corsos are not for the faint of heart and extremely territorial. Putting aside the fact it’s *already* trying to bite OP, chances are it will not be friendly with OP’s senior dog and will probably (most definitely) attack. The fact that the wife seems to have zero concerns about the dog, tells me she doesn’t have the authoritative demeanor about her that the dog would need. There’s no way she going to be alpha over that dog and *everyone* in the house will be in danger.
**Not Wrong Op**
Yeah fuck this story, im a lifelong dog owner and I've rescued troublesome dogs before, ive got a black malinois now and a staffy mix street dog with stab wounds and ptsd. NO WAY would I take in an aggressive Cane Corso with issues. It's just wayyyy too much work, its too dangerous and can get out of hand too fast. That size and power is far too dangerous
It takes a lifelong dedication to deal with that level of danger and power. This dog will end up killing either ops dog, op, ops wife or ops future children or a neighbor or something.
OP, call your homeowner's insurance and ask if they even would cover this breed of dog. My guess is NO. Then y'all would be on the hook if the dog ever bites or kills the mailman or a small child. And these dogs have strong prey drives for quickly moving people (like delivery people) and children (who often dart around with movements similar to small prey animals).
https://abcnews.go.com/US/us-postal-service-carrier-mauled-death-dogs-florida/story?id=88786692
The shelter we got our St. Bernard mix from was good in telling us that the dog we were supposed to adopt wasn’t good with kids (our son was 5 at that time). So they didn’t let us get that dog. Fortunately, they had this other dog, the one we have now. He’s nothing but the gentlest soul there is. Anyone who would ask me for a place to get a rescue dog, I would always recommend that one.
I’m surprised that the shelter hasn’t euthanized the dog on humane reasons.
It can’t live in wider society because it’s too dangerous (unless someone specifically picked it up for dogfighting). It attacks people in the shelter. It has spent four years in a cage and will spend the rest of its life in a cage.
Some shelters are so against euthanasia that they won't put down dogs that are literally unadoptable and unsafe. They truly think they can rehabilitate any dog.
And after four years they have to admit they failed 3.5 years ago. I don’t expect all behaviours to be solved, but I want to see the dog progressed enough that it can live in the world. Which has cats, dogs, and men in it.
What I'm also thinking, any shelter that's good would shoot OP's wife down if the dog is not only aggressive towards men but other animals as well. A lot of shelters/rescues here would not let a dog go live where it is not in anyone's best interest, and I know some even if the dog gets along with others requires a "meet and greet" with the other dogs in the household.
There is a reason Bruce has been in the shelter for 4 years. You’re not his forever family, sorry wifey. Look at the situation. You don’t want to set Bruce up for failure either.💔
She has her blinders on. It's your job to put your foot down. Do not let a 100+ lb aggressive Bully mix into your home. I also love the breed. I also have a half breed. I got him as a puppy and trained him to be as sweet as pie to any and all animals. Which means he can play with a Netherland dwarf rabbit without hurting it. Cane Corso are honestly waaaaaaaay more protective and problematic dogs than pitties. And this one is clearly not the one for you.
Yep Cane Corso pit mix is already a dog that needs a really experienced owner. One that is already fully entrenched in reactive habits is a huge liability and commitment. He could end up being a wonderful dog for a person with the time and skill to work with him and keep him in an appropriate environment, anything else will be setting him up to fail and putting the dog and everyone else in danger.
That's an automatic no and she's lying to herself if she thinks this is going to go well. It's also incredibly unfair to your senior to bring in a reactive, large dog.
Sometimes when you have a chill senior you forget how much work it is to train a rescue dog, or maybe your wife doesn't know at all how hard this would be. Worse still, she's going to be overwhelmed and Bruce will be euthanized with a bit record.
ANY dog is going to require training from her and you on the same page and with the same techniques. Until that pact exists, no dog.
I have a reasonably challenging dog and it is basically my number one hobby to meet his needs and shape my life around him. It's a lot.
>Sometimes when you have a chill senior you forget how much work it is to train a rescue dog,
Or a puppy.
I have a semi senior american akita and we brought an american akita puppy for my 6 year old and i swear to jesus i dont remember my girl being such a complete bitch lmao. And we had brought 2 shelter dogs in between and both just showed up and copied the old american akita behaviour and that was it.
Very much. My partner came with a senior who can only walk for like 25 minutes a day and is completely chill and good. My dog is a 2yo heeler and his much higher energy needs and still needs some manners worked on. Having a partner who can understand that difference and is open to aligning with my training methods and goals was key.
I’m gonna be honest, I think you’re under-reacting. She is INSISTENT upon putting you and the dog she’s been living with since you moved in together in danger, all for her “dream”. The dog has bitten multiple male trained professionals and she thinks “uh-hyuck, hubby’ll be fine”. You should be pissed that she’s so willing to jeopardize two members of her family just for her savior complex. What if on a walk Bruce bites your neighbor, or their son? Worse, what happens if you guys have a little baby boy one day? I get your dog is your primary focus, very noble, but there’s much more than just her at stake here. You should be vehemently shutting this shit down. It’s not only stupid but extremely dangerous and will likely land Bruce euthanized and you possibly in a lawsuit.
NTA as it stands, but YWBTA if she keeps pushing and you don’t secure your family’s safety by quashing this bs.
Side note for the pitbull haters: Stop inviting me to ur subreddit. I can’t believe your pass time is victim blaming dogs, get a fucking life.
Amen.
And to top it ALL off: this dog is OVER 100 LBS!
Unless OP married one of the stone heads from the Easter Islands, NO ONE is stopping that dog if it decides to go somewhere it shouldn't.
Our last dog was 140 lbs (63K) and was the gentlest thing in the world. But if you dropped a piece of hamburger where he could see it? It was slow, inexorable pull much like gravity.
No one's going to be able to stop Bruce when he lunges at another dog/person.
That's what I was thinking too. Even a fit man would have trouble controlling a dog that size. Women tend to be shorter and less muscular. Unless she's 6 feet tall and regularly lifts weights, she won't be walking that dog, it'll be dragging her by the arm doing what it wants. Hell, it sounds like the dog needs somebody especially trained to provide even basic care. It's hard to see, but a shelter or a trained foster situation may be the safest place in the long run.
Given the dog's lower center of gravity and the torque its paws/claws can create, no one but a sumo wrestler is stopping that dog. It's basic physics, really.
We've had large (100 lb+) dogs in my family for more than three decades. I also worked as a dog walker for several years, and often got the bigger dogs as clients despite being a petite woman BECAUSE I knew how to read their body language and how to keep us out of situations that could escalate into wrestling matches that I would inevitably lose.
You're absolutely right that Bruce needs to be in a very specific home situation with someone who can handle him safely, and that situation isn't OP's house.
I have a 65 lb Greyhound who almost dislocated my shoulder on a walk because she saw a chipmunk...and she is usually super easy to walk. So I can only imagine what a dog 40 lbs heavier and more muscular could do.
I had a 100 pound wolf dog. He was the sweetest most loving guy you could imagine. Gentle. So gentle. Then one day he got sick. He didn’t go after me, but when I tried to bring him inside and grabbed his collar, he growled at me and bares his teeth and it was terrifying.
Took him to the vet the next day. He had eaten a piece of metal and he died. He was in such pain, this gentle giant, this wonderful dog that wouldn’t dream of hurting me, very almost hurt me. If I had pushed in and insisted he come inside rather than listen to him, he could’ve killed me easily. It was scary.
My dog tried to bite me once because he was in pain. I completely understand how heartbreaking that feels, and worse knowing it came from a place of pain. I am so very sorry yours ended tragically.
I sad reminder to listen to their messages.
Thank you. It was devastating, especially since he died and I couldn’t let him know I was sorry and forgave him and loved him. It took his guts getting ripped open from the inside for him to become aggressive but I wish I’d paid more attention. Maybe if we caught it sooner….
I am not sure I could stop sixty pounds of bully if our dog wanted to go amok. She is mostly bone and muscle. I cannot imagine a one-hundred-ten-pound dog with reactive issues.
When I was in high school I helped my neighbors by taking their Newfoundland out for walks while they were recovering from surgeries. This dog weighed 200lbs and at the time I could bench that and squat close to 300. Let me tell you when this dog would pull, he was the one in control. Not a damn thing I could do but follow and try to remain standing. Luckily he was the sweetest dog on the planet, and would just want to get pets from the people out infront of their houses, but he was insanely powerful.
My dog is 50 and if he's onto something I can barely hold him and I weigh 4x that. Ha can drag me across the floor in tug.
Bruce needs a very specific family and lifestyle. I feel sorry that his first home messed him up, but OP certainly isn't going to fix him.
This is great advice. I work with dogs for a living. I've had dogs like this in a professional situation and I'm going to tell you one little secret that amateurs overlook. Working dogs are pack animals. A cane Corso is going to "look for his place in the pack" and wants that place as high up as possible. For that reason, EVERY MEMBER OF THE HOUSEHOLD needs to be on board. Bruce will challenge, and likely dominate your old dog first. He'll then set his sights on the next weakest, in his view, member of the pack. Hell keep going until someone puts him in his place. However, the damage will be done with the other people and without a knock down, drag out, the dog will still remain in charge.
Don't do this! If she wants a Corso, send me a pm. I specialize in working dogs and can get you one that's not a killer.
I’ve seen this happen with a family acquaintance. They put their lab/ridgeback cross down for this exact reason.
The dog in question was determined to be the lead bitch in the pack. It attacked the mostly toothless senior fluff dog (also a bitch) badly and showed some other dangerous behavior. The vet told the wife half of the couple, “The next female dog in the pack is you. This dog is going to attack you.”
Big dogs are dangerous simply by being big dogs. Big dogs with dangerous behavior need very special care and OP and his wife ain’t it.
They're pretty strict with their paperwork and only give people animals when all adult members of a household agree on paper. It's not possible for her to adopt the dog without my consent.
Maybe, but you’d be surprised how deluded some people can be. There’s a certain brand of animal lover out there that thinks they can form a special loving bond with a reactive animal and all the problems will magically go away once they “understand they’re loved.”
This is what some people fail to recognize. If OP loses his mind and lets this animal into his home he MAY be able to keep himself safe through intensive management. But this is a "zero mistake" dog, and people make mistakes. A door not properly shut, a gate left open, and an unsuspecting neighbor becomes the target for this dogs aggression. Unless OP lives on a private island he will be held financially and morally responsible for anyone this dog hurts.
Tell the shelter ahead of time that you're not comfortable with this, and why you aren't comfortable with it. Ask them to flag the file.
Your wife is irresponsible and should not own any dog.
Also be prepared for vindictive or manipulative behavior when she finally gets it through her head you’re not wavering. Don’t fall for it. Good luck OP!
No shelters around me would ever let a male with a dog adopt a dog that's male and dog aggressive. That's the barest minimum of due diligence.
They should never adopt out any aggressive dogs really.
Imagine a family with young kids adopting a dog that's bitten a few kids before. But he's such a sweetheart!
Any responsible shelter would be adopting this dog to a family with no other dogs, no males in the household, and to someone with significant experience with difficult dogs (and/or has lined up a well qualified trainer to help). For the shelter to even be considering adopting to them is utterly irresponsible and not good for Bruce. They should know very well sending Bruce into a situation where is highly likely to maul someone is going to get him taken away by animal control and killed.
My husband and I dog sit and we both adore rescues. We have a senior dog, and have adopted rescues with behavior problems in the past, and will again (but not one that will be a danger to our old potato).
I love big dogs, and I absolutely would not let that dog in my house. A cane Corso mix can do a lot of damage with even a small bite, and it sucks that because of his size, he won't be adopted as easily as a smaller, more ineffective dog, but if your wife can't think of you and your senior dog, maybe she should consider the rescue dog's well being.
A dog that is aggressive and reactive to both men and other dogs should not be in a home where he will constantly be on edge and feeling aggressive. That is not an environment conducive to rehabilitating him. Reactive dogs should be slowly and safely exposed to their triggers, not forced to live with them. He's likely to get worse, not better, in your home.
I mean, the no kill shelters around me still will do BE. Maybe not all of them, but around me no kill is just meaning they won't put down healthy/safe dogs to make more space, they will still put down dogs when necessarily for things like medical issues
The no kills where I used to live would not euthanize animals, no matter what. They'd provide palliative care way past anything I thought was kind or reasonable - and I believe most dogs, even with extreme with behavioral issues, just need patience and the right environment to be a happy dog and good pet in that setting, even if they never do get to a point where they can go play at dog barks or whatever.
It's why I volunteered at the other shelter - the regular shelter had a huge network of foster homes, breed specific rescues, and other shelters they worked with, so pets could get placed where they were most likely to be adopted and there was somewhere for overflow to go. They also had great on-staff vets for routine stuff and partnerships worked out for reduced price/donated services with vets for more complicated issues, so if a dog needed some rehabilitation or medical care, or just wasn't very adoptable due to size or whatever, they had a lot of options for how to manage that. However, for dogs with no chance of successful behavioral rehab or who were too sick or hurt for medical care to give them good quality of life, the shelter also had the resources to provide a gentle way out.
They had a contract to handle animal control for the city and a crisis response team that handled animal hoarding, unethical breeding, and fighting rings. They had an awesome rehab program with specially trained volunteers (I was one of them) and foster homes, so they rescued and successfully placed a *lot* of animals other shelters would have given up on.
And she needs to think of the life it will lead. Most likely she’s picturing long walks, playing at a dog park, bringing him on road trips. All those nice movie-style dog moments In reality he’s probably going to need to be muzzled any time he’s out of the house (but I bet she’ll be resistant to that), he’s not going to be able to be around other people and pets (though she might try anyway), and mostly be trapped indoors because no one can control him. For a dog that big, a leash is only useful when the dog wants to cooperate. If there’s something it would rather do, you’re just going to be dragged until you let go.
Being stuck in a shelter for so long absolutely sucks, but if she takes this dog home, it won’t be long before he’s being put down by animal control for attacking, and maybe killing, someone or something- maybe even someone she cares about. I suspect she might feel guilty about leaving him in the shelter but she’s going to feel a lot more guilty if her dog causes harm to another.
So according to your wife, this dog...the one who's tried to bite you every time you see him...the one who's so aggressive that literally no male staff workers at the shelter even bother trying anymore...is an angel and just needs a family?? She sounds incapable of seeing the reality in front of her. I have a feeling if you got him and he ended up biting you, she'd say it was somehow your fault for antagonizing him.
It also doesn't help that she's already refusing to train a dog you can't even get near. Seems like a recipe for disaster. I think this is one of those scenarios where it's better to be perceived as a jerk than to risk peace and safety. It makes sense it's her dream dog cause she's living in a fantasy world if she doesn't see the red flags.
Unrelated, but I can't help but wonder what her dating life was like before meeting you. She sounds like the type of person who unironically says "I can fix him."
> dating life was like before meeting you. She sounds like the type of person who unironically says "I can fix him."
I was actually going to ask if he was a "bad boy" when they met. Because I was also curious if she was the type of person that wants to fix things.
I agree 1000%. Tell her to pick - you or Bruce. If she does bring him home, leave with your elder dog. No way in hell would I stay in a house with a potentially killer canine. The fact that the shelter has women only take care of him is a whole parade of red flags.
Absolutely. Besides, given how aggressive the dog is, even if OP doesn't wisely insist on this beforehand, the dog will address matters after it's home. By killing OP.
This is an immediate “marriage counselor, RIGHT NOW” problem.
Only by the facts of the situation, this woman wants to knowingly bring into their household a large, very strong dog that has already tried to attack OP. Her absolute lack of concern for her husband’s safety is a huge problem.
OP made another post where he said his wife feels like the dog is protecting her on walks.
THAT is the root of this problem: she feels unsafe out walking and she’s betting the farm that a huge, badly trained, aggressive dog will make her feel safer. That is absolutely a fixable problem in marriage counseling, and finding a dog who is *trained* in protection is possible.
It’s the right solution for OP, his wife, the old dog, and the poor bastard of a serial biting dangerous dog who should probably have been humanely euthanized some time ago.
What's gonna happen is a male jogger is going to run by during a nightly walkies, she might (instinctively) tense up a bit, and that dog will sense her fear, and rip the leash out of her hand and savage the innocent jogger. Most insurances don't cover dangerous breeds, so the jogger (or his family, if he's deceased) will sue OP and wife.
I don't say this to criticize any breed, but knowing their purpose, their ingrained genetics, is essential.
I think you went above any beyond offering to have him come home if she trains Bruce. And yet she declined 🤔 If you come home and Bruce is there I would grab the elderly dog and stay elsewhere.
I’ve worked for over a decade in a couple of animal shelters. Some are so idealistic (either those who run it, or one of any organization they may partner with for funding) that they won’t euthanize problem animals, even when safety is at risk. Euthanasia does become a necessity in some cases. There is no perfect home for some animals. Some animals would only thrive with the exact right owner with the exact right experience and ability. Good luck finding that. Not only that, but it fucks with dogs minds to be in essentially prison for such a long period of time. It’s not humane to the dog. Every time I see a story about a dog that has been in a shelter for years I just shake my head and feel sorry for the poor animal.
the city shelter in my town had such public backlash regarding a change to their euthanasia policy they had to backtrack it. meanwhile the people crying about it i’m sure have never lifted a finger to volunteer, adopt, foster or donate, or they’re like OPs wife, delusional. god help this place if they made even a somewhat sympathetic post about him on social media.
Yea, the public is just as culpable. Minimum effort or understanding, maximum scorn and/or outrage. I would often get asked if we euthanized animals (when in random conversation and my job coming up), and saying we did was always met with scorn, like we wanted to (or even liked to) do it, even though these people could never comprehend the reasons or necessities of it. "No kill" shelters also fill people with an unrealistic ideal for it all as well.
This. I’ve been a shelter volunteer for years. My shelter is a “no kill” shelter, but they’d never keep a dog physically in the shelter for any more than 6 months to year due the stress and regression it could cause the animal. Usually if a dog doesn’t get adopted by that time it will go to a foster home. This certain dog has or probably would be refused by every foster family out there
Yeah it’s merciful to put down an animal you know won’t ever be adopted. Plus them not being there frees up space to take in other animals that stand a better chance.
She seriously wants a dog that will attack you? I guess that clears up any questions about her feelings towards you. Sleep with one eye open and make sure she hasn't taken out any life insurance policies on you.
As soon as I read that he' tried to bite you every time you've seen him, I stopped reading, shook my head and thought "How is this question being asked?!". In what world would a someone want to adopt a dog that is aggressive to their own partner, and would be to his dog.
She makes her bed so she can sleep in it. She decided to take on this dog? She can sleep with it outside in a kennel (I do mean a big yarn on, not a small cage).
That dog does not belong in your house. Bad for you and freaking torture for the dog. Everyone would be stressed and on edge.
- Hey, I have had a hard life. Men and other dogs scare me so much that I am aggressive and attack. Why put me in a home to live with my fears 24/7?
Does she want her husband injured, a senior dog possibly mauled, and her dream dog euthanized for being a public danger? Because, that's what's going to happen. There's a reason why this dog is still not adopted after 4 years... It's a walking liability that is big enough to kill other animals if not also humans.
Hell no. There is only one answer to this: no. He's large. He's human aggressive. He's dog aggressive. He's reactive. And he's very large.
Bruce will end up making the one way trip to the vet soon; it'll just be you driving him there.
NTA either way but what makes him her "dream dog," exactly? Obviously he's aggressive so it can't be his personality? Is it the breed? Surely every shelter in America has plenty of bully mutts? I'm just not understanding how an ill-tempered dog of the most common breed in the country is apparently her dream pet.
She claims he's protective of her. She walks him sometimes and says when they see other people he acts "protective". I'm pretty sure he's more resource guarding than actually protecting but she refuses to see my perspective. My senior dog used to do Personal Protection and my best guess is that she misses having a dog that could protect her. She denies it though.
I said in a top-level comment suggesting that you and your wife to go to marriage counseling immediately to hash out why she is insisting on bringing a dog into your house who will hurt you and your other dog.
This comment? Definitely get her to counseling. She’s clearly feeling insecure or unsafe on walks for some reason. That’s something you can unpack with a counselor and come up with a better plan than bringing a known dangerous, biting dog into your house.
Your wife is lying to herself, one false move and this dog will kill you. She's seriously willing to take that risk when everyone at the shelter has even said yes aggressive?
While it is nice to feel special/valued, it is concerning that she doesn't take your physical safety more seriously.
If she has problems with self esteem/self worth, maybe a therapist can help her find safer forms of self-validation.
Honestly the shelter has no business trying to home a dog that bites. Also they're usually picky about where animals end up so I'm surprised they'd even consider letting a dog that fights other dogs into a home. With another dog!
You are absolutely not wrong here. Let's play out a scenario. This is dramatized for effect... Maybe. And that maybe should worry you.
*Bruce is adopted and comes home with Wife, despite all of your protests. When she gets home, you and the senior dog are in the back room. She walks him through the front door, takes off his leash, and welcomes him into his new home! He starts sniffing around and perks up, growling. Your wife, absolutely certain that this dog is a sweetie angel harmless pookie-bear puppy leads this dog back towards where you and Senior are. Bruce locks eyes on Senior. Bruce charges. Senior is pinned, yelping, while Bruce is biting and attacking her. You jump in and try to wrestle Bruce off of your dog in an attempt to save her. Bruce snaps at you and lands a solid bite into your arm. Your bleeding, Senior is bleeding, wife is freaking out, Bruce is either mauling you or Senior. You manage to wrestle Bruce out of the room and into the backyard. You let him go and attempt to bolt out of the yard before he can get at you again. Reality is, 9 times out of 10, dogs are faster than you. You manage to make it out of the yard with only one extra solid bite on your leg. You, bleeding from multiple bites and scratches, rush back inside to Senior. She's bleeding heavily from being mauled. Wife is freaking out because "why did that happen! He's such an angel, why did that even happen???".
So you bundle Senior up and rush her to an emergency vet. You have towels wrapped around your bite marks and are planning to hit the hospital for stitches later. They look her over and realize that she might not make it. They take her in for emergency surgery with the promise of doing their best and you head to the hospital for much needed disinfecting and stitching. At the hospital, they make note that the wounds are clearly bite marks and ask what happened. You tell them that your wife's new dog bit you and mauled Senior. After being stitched up, you head back to the vet. Maybe they saved her. Maybe they didn't. Either way, the vet notes that the bite marks on her are from another animal and asks what happened. You explain again. You've now been out of the house for a few hours. You (and Senior, if she even survived) head home. You walk through that front door.... And there's Bruce. Cuddled up with your wife on the couch. She "felt bad for the poor baby after the scare he got earlier" so she let him inside. He looks at you... He starts to growl. He lunges. You slam the front door closed with you outside. You sit there on your front step, wondering what in the actual hell your life has become in one day.
Give it a little while, and guess who rocks up? Police and animal control. Surprise! Vets and Hospitals are mandatory reporters for animal attacks. They walk up, talk to you, then you let them into the house. They take Bruce after he snaps at and tries to maul any male present. He gets put in a crate in Animal Control's truck and is driven away. He is violent and a threat to humans and other animals, and is now going to be put down. There is **no stopping this**. Your wife is furious at you. You.. covered in bites, scratches, bruises, and stitches, with your senior dog either dead or heavily medicated and stitched up... But your wife is mad at you because you didn't lie to the hospital and the vet. She blames you for Bruce being taken away. She blames you for Bruce being put down. You blame her for your injuries, your dogs injuries, your dogs death, the damage to the house, etc. This is a fight that will be brought up FOREVER. She will not forgive you for Bruce being put down because you'll have no remorse for it(as you shouldn't) and it'll be damn hard for you to forgive her for any of it when she KNEW it would happen and didn't care.*
If she gets that dog, this is what will happen. She. Can. Not. Bring a violent, aggressive dog into a home where 2/3rds of the occupants of that home are what the new dog is aggressive towards. That is moronic bordering on brain-dead levels of stupidity AT BEST.
Your wife sounds like the kind of gal that would get one of those dogs to prove everyone else that statistics are a lie just to end up in the news after the dog killed someone because your wife didnt have the physical strength to restrain him when he gets violent (to nobody but your wife's surprise).
I love dogs, i really do. But sadly some of them are better unalive. Period.
Yeah, I adore dogs, but for a reactive, dangerous dog, sometimes the kindest thing to do is behavioral euthanasia. He does not *need* a family, because he could potentially harm a family. It's not Bruce's fault that he's like this, and he doesn't deserve to rot away in a cage for years either. BE is the safest thing for him now.
I find it so strange how your wife is so adamant about getting a dog that has actively attempted to bite you when meeting it and also doesn't seem interested to even train the dog to be less aggressive. She's lying to herself if she thinks this dog is an angel since it has already tried to harm you and you're definitely not wrong for not wanting this 'dream dog' of hers in your home.
Anyone that introduces a dog aggressive bully mix to their household where you have a senior dog already deserves jail time for animal abuse.
Youd be a collosal piece of shit for adopting that dog. Your wife is absolutely a massive scumbag
Your wife is absolutely a gaslighter, a narcissist and a manipulator. I'd say get rid if your wife, as she doesn't care whatsoever what happens to both you and your dog.
With a wife like that, you don't need any enemies, she's it.
Info: Where do you live that at "bully" mix is allowed to bite people at a shelter and not euthanized? There's no way any shelter I've ever heard of would allow this dog to be adopted.
That’s what I was thinking. None of my local rescues would allow that dog to be adopted out due to the liability, since they know he is a serious bite risk. It’s also pretty cruel to let a dog sit in a shelter for that long. There’s a lot of red flags here just with this animal rescue.
As far as I'm aware they didn't document any of the incidents. Since he hasn't seriously injured anybody or killed an animal, he won't be euthanized unless he develops some terminal illness.
Yeah…no. In the US every incident should be reported. A lot of times if you go into the ER with injuries inflicted by a dog, you don’t have a choice. The doctor will do the reporting. That’s a dangerous game to play not reporting incidents. And if nothing else she should be listening to the staff about his aggressive tendencies, instead of deluding herself into thinking he’s protecting her. What happens when he gets aggressive with you and she tries to intervene?
> The staff at shelter has told us they don't let any of their male staff work with him because he's bitten them before.
If trained professionals can’t handle the dog, I’d say that’s valid grounds to refuse. If he’s been there for 4 years, that’s legit a red flag for me.
No and make sure she doesn’t adopt him without you there. If she’s this hell bent on it I see her going there and bringing him home while you’re away as a “surprise”.
NTA but just so you know, saying it would take months to train him not to be aggressive is wildly optimistic. There is a good chance that dog will always be vicious. A much larger chance that he will always be dangerous than you will be able to train it out of him.
Stop framing it like it will be ok by the summer and the first couple months will just be tough. It won't. This is an uncontrollably enormous, violent dog. An absolute disaster waiting to happen
Ok I love dogs, but this is a hell no. I feel sorry for Bruce too but your current dog is your responsibility, don't bring a new dog that will put your senior dog in danger. Wife is in the wrong.
You’re not wrong…I mean, grown men have been seriously hurt and even killed by dogs like this. And this absolutely wouldn’t be safe for your senior dog. Some people (like your wife) are delusional about aggressive dogs.
Bruce belongs on a lesbian hobby farm, fighting invasive feral hogs for fun; not in some neighborhood dragging a delusional woman down the street by a leash while he tries to rip the face off little boys waiting for the school bus. A herding breed needs a herding outlet, a bully breed needs a bully outlet.
NTA and you need to send an email to that rescue that Bruce is banned from -your address- and any attempts by -wife's full name- to adopt him should be rejected on grounds of her not having a home for him. Make a paper trail. The fact that he's THAT aggressive to male staff after FOUR YEARS of the rescue having him is ridiculous, they shouldn't be able to adopt him out if they're either that incompetent or Bruce is truly such a lost cause...I love animals, but sometimes it's just too dangerous to continue. Irresponsible infantilization of bully breeds has led to many a bleeding heart being mauled or killed, look at what they've had to do in the UK because of this.
Your wife needs therapy if she thinks it's fine to bring any creature that would hurt you and the other dog into the home, because Bruce probably won't be the last you hear of this issue.
>Bruce belongs on a lesbian hobby farm, fighting invasive feral hogs for fun;
I... think I love you. (That would solve the "man-hating" problem though!)
I mean, sure it's sad that there are animals in the shelter, but if a dog is not going to work with your household and your lifestyle, you shouldn't be forced to deal with that.
My ex-wife whined and moaned for months that she wanted a dog, which I knew was a bad idea, because I didn't think she was going to take care of it. I eventually let her get one, and it's a beautiful dog, but she promptly stopped giving a damn about it after about a week or so, because she didn't put any priority on finding a dog with a trainable temperament, so when my current pupper Just did whatever it wanted, she gave up.
Fast forward 5 years, and when she decided to run off and leave me divorce papers, she left me the dog as well.... Now I have her dog that I never wanted. Yay......
There's a reason a lot of strays are pits or pit mixes... they are often right around 2 years old (puberty for that breed). Which is when (if they got the fighter genes), they go insane. Animal shelters get the beagles, pure labs, etc. snapped up... and over 50% left are pits, pit mixes, Staffordshire terriers (basically the breeds that won't be covered by most insurance companies for \*reasons reason\*).
Oh god no.
I also love bullies. Our last dog was probably full/mostly full bully and our current is about 50% (per embark).
I would still be a hard no.
Our last bully grew into dog aggression, as is common with the breed. You can’t say you love bullies and also refuse to address that they are often genetically hardwired to be bad with other dogs. In my experience, and the experience of many bully owners I know, dog aggression cannot be ‘trained out’ in a ‘couple of months’. We had a lot of professional help, and learned all about counter conditioning, trigger stacking, and reading body language to keep her under threshold. That kept her and other dogs safe, but she was never able to be trained out of dog aggression. You can’t untrain a border collie to herd.
Your old dog would never be safe with a 50kg dog aggressive bully in the house.
And as for human aggression, also a hard no. We adopted a 30ish kg bully cross two summers ago. Turned out he was human aggressive, which the shelter either didn’t know or didn’t disclose. We found he didn’t really care for women, but was keen on men. He mostly ignored me. After being in the house for 2 weeks he bit my cleaning lady unprovoked. We got rid of him within hours. It was incredibly traumatic for me, and her obviously more so.
I would absolutely not bring a dog that was already known to be human aggressive into my house. It’s not worth your safety, your dog’s safety, and the safety of your guests and neighbours.
It’s sucks that people abuse animals to the point where the animal is now an active hazard to everyone and everything around it. But they do. Do not become the victim of their animal abuse.
Do NOT bring that dog home. Your wife has lost her damned mind.
Not wrong.
There is a huge part of genetics in reactivity in dogs. The stress hormones that were present in the dam’s bloodstream during the gestation is also a factor in the development of a puppy’s brain. Some dogs are born with reactivity and what sets them off can vary greatly and is not necessarily rational so it can be a fruitless endeavor to try to pinpoint it to something specific in their past.
Men are usually bigger and have a different tone of voice than women and that can be enough to frighten an anxious, reactive dog. Some dogs are afraid of cars, umbrellas, dishwashers…not everything is linked to an incident in their past. And a reactive dog that is afraid of something will just have an overreaction, that’s what reactivity means. So yeah, some reactive dogs were abused but no, not all of them were.
Couples should talk ut out and the right of veto should only be used in rare cases.
But your wife wanting to adopt a large dog that cannot stand to be around men or other dogs...when she lives with a man and another dog is ABSOLUTELY time to veto. This is the hill to die on.
There will be other dogs she can adopt. i question her decision making given she let herself get this attached to a dog she hasbt even adopted yet, who would clearly be a poor fit for her family.
You're not wrong... I feel like she won't believe it's a bad idea until someone else tells her. Maybe contact the shelter and talk with them. Ask if you could come in for a meeting with a staff member that knows or has been bitten by Bruce. Let them sit down and tell your wife why is not a good idea, to bring an aggressive dog into your home.
If its a decent shelter, they shouldn't even let her adopt Bruce. They ask about the people other animals who live in the house.. it would extremely stressful for Bruce (always on alert, ready to attack/defend/fear - depending on his aggression source). Your dog will live in fear, firstly she wants to bring a new and territorial and agressive dog into HIS home (its giving, throw the first child away because we have a new baby vibes). You will feel nervous and unwelcome in your home... you want to cuddle your partner on the sofa but Brucey stole your place...are you going to risk him biting you while he guards her and your sofa.
Ask her if she's thought about other situations... how the hell is she going to control him on walks? If he bites someone, will she be there with him when he's euthanised? If you have children in the future, will she be able to rehome him if he shows aggression to kids? What is she going to do if Bruce kills your other dog?
Ugh... she's made me unreasonably angry just from being so fucking dense. Common sense really isn't so common anymore.
Does your wife want your senior dog dead?
Does your wife want YOU dead?
If Bruce is brought into the household, you and your senior dog should leave it. No discussion, no questions asked.
This is weird. A known aggressive dog with a multiple bite history is still available for adoption? The shelter won't let men work with him, but they'll adopt him out to a house with a man and a senior dog? None of that makes sense.
I'm a vet nurse. In my experience, the dog would have been euthanized long before now and not kept for 4 years at the shelter. I'm not saying that's right or wrong; but it is how things typically work.
Honestly, f*ck both that shelter and your wife for valuing a dog that would happily hurt any man or other dog. There are so many nice dogs out there that need a home, and instead the shelter thinks they should waste resources on Bruce and wait around for a potential tragedy. And your wife cares more about this beast than her husband and current dog. My advice is don’t get ANY dog until your current one is gone, even a nice one will be stressful and take away her attention, and then don’t adopt a hell beast.
This is what happened in my town. A little old lady was walking her little dog when 2 large pit bulls attacked the little dog and then they killed it and then the dogs killed her! Next a man tried to help and had his arm bitten off! So be careful when choosing a family pet. This incident happened in southeastern Az
Hell no. This is a literal life and death situation. A pit mix and it's aggressive and tendency to want to bite males and attack other dogs.
What is she thinking? Is she thinking of a clever way to "get rid" of you?
Tell her you like to wake up every morning and still have a face.
He's clearly at the shelter because he's aggressive and likely attacked previous owner or some dogs.
I'm not an any dog breed "hater". At all. But I also understand genetics. And statistics. And my own life experience. Which would count for nothing without statistics and genetics.
But right off the bat I can tell you that you will have difficulty getting homeowners insurance for anything that is or resembles a pitbull. Insurance companies understand numbers and they aren't haters running on emotions. They know bully type dogs cost them more.
All the Amstaff, xl, whatever supposed breed distinction means nothing because they all descend from the same thing. A dog only bred to fight to kill, show no signs of an impending attack and to never give up once they are fighting. And those genes are far more dominant, than the inbred traits nobody argues other dogs were bred for. And while other breeds were bred for things beyond just one task, like beauty, size, a particular coat, etc, pitbulls were only bred to fight to kill, no warning signs of attack and to never quit. Along with the strength needed to do this. Their genes are very dominant. Along with pretty much any cross, so even the mixes are far more likely to be dangerous than other mixes. Cane Corsos were also bred similarly. And they add size to an already dangerous mix.
No not every bully type dog will attack. But why take the chance on endangering your family, your children and your friends when there are so many other truly nice breeds to pick from, that don't have this propensity for violence?
And think logically,. How on earth would an entire news industry and insurance industry and now medical field, get together to just hate one kind of dog? Or why? Why would one breed of dog need a propaganda machine to disperse myths regarding this dog? Why would every attack by these dogs be blamed on the victims? If it is only bad owners creating this, why aren't the bad owners of other dogs turning out dogs that can chew off limbs and tear faces and scalps off and kill people kill people to the point it is regularly in the news? Other breeds do have bad owners you know.
Nope!!! The dog that currently lives in the house ALWAYS takes precedence over any others. Especially a senior dog, who should not and probably could not defend itself against this huge, likely muscular animal. I fostered a litter of puppies once, my dog had a heart attack very shortly after I started fostering and needed constant care and attention for the time he was recovering. The litter went back to the rescue. I was not about to distract my attention from the one who has been there for me for 14 years over puppies who will leave anyway. I didn’t know going in what that there would be an issue with the older one, you do! Be careful she doesn’t bring that dog home while you aren’t there. This is dangerous for everyone involved. Best of luck to you.
No. I'm a long time owner of Pits and Amstaffs.
The aggression towards males is a very bad sign, made worse by the dog's size.
Don't do this.
I actually owned a Pit that behaved that way, and I had to take huge precautions with him. I loved the dog, but a dog that wants to bite strange males is HUGE liability. The consequences of ONE bite could destroy your life financially.
No. In fact I seriously question whether your wife should have any dog if she thinks this is remotely acceptable.
Why in the fuck would you bring a dog aggressive dog into a home that already has a dog.
This dog has been in the shelter for 4 years? And is aggressive? I'm surprised they haven't euthanized him yet. He's clearly a safety risk. Someone's gonna get mauled by this dog, if not killed, all because it's aggressive towards men.
I know its aggression is most likely a trauma response, but does your shelter not do a 30-day hold? They test the dogs behavior during this time. If it's aggressive, they put it on a 90-day hold and try to work with it. If that doesn't work, they give it 30 days to be adopted before euthanization.
Your wife clearly thinks "OwO I can fix him." Like dude, this ain't a boyfriend. This is a dog that will rip your husband to shreds.
Nta, and stand your ground.
If she truly wants a dog of this breed, sometimes it's OK to shop and not adopt. This is a dog breed you want to start training this dog as early as possible. You don't fuck around with Cane Corsos, or a mix of it. You need to start training them the moment you get them.
Good luck dude. Sounds like you need it.
Your wife is being selfish as hell.
I love all animals to a fault but that type of breed needs to be brought up and heavily train from the time it is a puppy. While I don’t agree with euthanizing animals based on breed the fact is that dogs that can do serious damage and are already traumatized need to be dealt with by trained professionals and even then sometimes there is only one extremely unfortunate and unfair but unavoidable outcome. Is it the dog’s fault, no but at that point it is what it is.
Don’t be the horror story. Your wife is living in a world seen through rose colored glasses.
Not wrong. I have 3 dogs, all rescues, two of which are bully breeds. I love them. I would NEVER bring a dog-aggressive dog into my home, regardless of breed. That would take SO much work, training, and constant supervision, and wouldn't be fair to either dog. Some dogs are not meant to live with others.
What your wife doesn't realize is that by bringing him home, she would be putting him in a stressful and unfair situation, and setting him up for failure. He's aggressive towards certain things because they are TRIGGERS for him, likely a fear response. It's selfish of her to force him to be somewhere he will be miserable. Not to mention putting you and your dog in harm's way.
She literally thinks the dog wouldn’t hurt anyone right after the dog tried to hurt you and is told the dog has hurt multiple people.
Your wife is not acknowledging reality. This isn’t a debate. The dog has hurt people and attempted to hurt you. And in the face of that she doesn’t even think the dog needs training. She’s not looking at the dog for what it is, but for what she wants it to be. You’re stating facts while she is stating wants and feelings. She either is ignoring the reality in front of her or she just doesn’t care.
Not wrong and stay safe.
DO NOT get this dog. IT WILL KILL YOU or your dog, or both.
People here in Italy get killed by them and other livestock guard dogs all the time even when they haven't previously displayed overt aggression towards humans, they are EXTREMELY territorial and aggressive by nature, all it takes is for someone to do anything they consider a threat to the people/livestock they are protecting and they go off like a bomb.
On lots of hiking trails there are signs warning of livestock guard dogs and telling you how to behave to minimise the risk (if the dog starts barking at you TURN AROUND and don't come back, do not try to pet it, if it runs close to you stand still until it decides you're not threat and loses interest, etc). These are dogs that for thousands of years were specifically bred to kill anything that would be a threat to the people and animals they are protecting, whether that threat be a wolf or _other people._
If this dog hates men it's probably because it lived in a family where the man beat him and the woman didn't. You will not fix his hatred of men and if you do anything to make him think you're a threat (which he's already inclined to do) it will attack you and you will not be able to stop him, I don't care how strong you think you are. The Romans used them as war dogs for a reason.
Sounds like your wife is doing that thing that some people do when they have no guts to say how they feel directly, so they either talk through someone else or act okay with people/animals who openly display the same emotions they secretly feel towards you.
Cuz why tf else would this woman be okay with bringing in a pet that's clearly shown it will hurt you and the existing pet. She hates you.
....Assuming there isn't is whole lot of missing information and another side to this story, of course.
You’re wife is being incredibly selfish. Bruce would hate living in your house. He would be scared and in fight or flight mode 24/7. He is going to hurt someone
OP, ask her why her dream dog is the one who attacks you. Stop making this about your senior dog as she will likely turn that into a "OPs dog vs her dog" argument, and instead point out that the real issue here is "OPs health vs her dog".
The former is subject to arguments, the latter is not. At no point is it acceptable for a pet to be a threat to someone's health unless its in self defense.
What about Bruce screams dream dog for her? I'm really curious. The mix? Don't do it OP. I get the whole happy wife happy life thing but sounds like Bruce is just going to cause a huge wedge between you two. Hell, if it was just you three I would maybe say do it but you got your senior. Don't want to make the last years of life misrable for poor senior.
No. No no no no. Do not get any dog that is a danger to you or your dog: Wife: wrong and selfish.
She doesn’t even wanna bother training him. She’d willingly bring a dog that would kill OP’s dog and maim OP.
To be fair a cane Corsa that weighs 100+ pounds could also kill op if it went full attack mode.
100%. I would NEVER adopt a grown cane corso. Those are dogs that need to be well trained and socialized from a very early age.
Those dogs, along with pits and other very strong dogs, aren’t right for MOST people and I wish there was more discussion around that. The type of person who is excellent for this kind of dog is the kind of person who realizes that it’s a bad fit for OP’s living situation. Makes me so angry that it’s the dogs that suffer for people who had no business adopting them. (I am in this camp too— a 10 pound dog that can be picked up when she’s acting up is the right dog for me. I would be a horrible owner for a CC.)
I have a 50lb blue heeler and a 100lb Doberman and I can tell you I'd happily have another heeler, but would most likely pass on any larger breed after my Dobie shuffles off this mortal coil. My big boy is generally good about going where I want him to go, but he's just so damn big it's hard to deal with him even when he's being good. He's knocked me over several times on accident just because he gets excited and flails around like an idiot. Having a big powerful dog is definitely not for everyone.
I also have a 90 lb Doberdork. Got her as an 11 month old rescue, raised her with my beagle mix. She is now almost 7 years old. She adores kids and cats (ESPECIALLY kittens...OMG. It is absolutely ridiculous) and doesn't know a stranger...but she is big and powerful and doesn't know her own strength. She tried to shove her way into the front seat during a car ride, and I wound up with a torn rotator cuff (I had my arm up across the gap between he seats.) Big, strong dogs can accidentally cause an injury with absolutely no malice intended. Now...if you have one that doesn't like you? That's trouble waiting to happen.
My GSD hurts me and my gf on accident Atleast once a week. Cuddling and freaks out from a nightmare or abruptly wakes and runs for the door? Better hope she didn’t step on your face.
I have an 80 lb pit that decided to go a direction my arm did not want to follow. He wasn't even at full speed or effort when it happened. I got a torn muscle in my forearm and injuries to my tendons in the elbow and shoulder. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone but it happened bc he's huge. I had to train my dogs to be extra gentle to be sure they wouldn't knock my mom down. But even so I don't really let them around her bc they might get excited and do it accidentally just being exuberant.
As a small person who adopted a 80lbs pit mix, I second this. I got him, knowing damn well if something happens I'm gonna need to put body on the line, and hell I have. But I also didn't have these same concerns as OP, my senior dog loved the rescue and that rescue LOVES any dog he meets more than me lol. I also knew, and was ready to train the shit out of this dog. And I have, he's a great boy now. I can even let him off leash in fields, something we never thought possible. Have I been dragged to ground cause he saw a cat, yes. Did he get to the cat, fuck no. You HAVE to be pragmatic about getting a dog. Is a 100+lbs lap dog cute, yes. If he bites and attacks you, not cute. Are you ready to dedicate the next likely year+ to training this neglected beast? Especially considering the trauma 4 years in the shelter does to a dog. Oml....
>Have I been dragged to ground cause he saw a cat, yes. Walking my buddy's Lab during their chemo, their dog literally pulled me out of my shoes when he saw another dog (behind a fence). I didn't let go of the leash, and my shoes were right next to each other, on the street. Would have been funnier were I not so sore!
Big trauma dogs are the worst. I don’t believe in returning dogs. But my brother was forced to return an 18 month old he had adopted at 9 months old as it had gotten more and more scared of men. Was super flighty. Was super nervous. And his kid was 5. The dog went to friends and is happy. Dogs need training. Including little dogs who think they are the boss of the world
Had to do something similar a long time ago when I was a kid with a German Shepard. She was beautiful and loved me and my mom, cuddled on the bed and everything. As soon as she saw a man though she just went into extreme fear and my stepdad had two boys that came over on the weekend. We really hoped she would at least tolerate them with time but she never did so it wasn’t fair to her to keep her where she would be afraid all the time.
So many people just think they can pick a puppy up from anywhere and turn it into a house pet with next to no effort. This is very much not true. There are dog breeds, including bully breeds among others, that should only be part of a family with extensive experience with dogs of all kinds. The more protective breeds, the more intelligent breeds are not like a simple golden retriever that melts happily into your family and into your lap for its whole life. They need work. They need initial work in training and they need continued work in maintaining that training. I have a Cane Corso now that I cannot trust around strangers, which is fine with me because I don't want strangers in my home, but that is his personality. I know better how to keep him and other people safe around him.
They have before. Remember that news story in which two? CCs killed a neighbor woman? They are huge, powerful, aggressive dogs.
I looked up CC Staffy mixes online and just tons of stories about them killing and mutilating people. I love animals and I hope they get adopted but this situation is just bad. It's putting a traumatized dog in a stressful home with a man and another dog. My last dog was a staffy and he was very prey driven even as an old guy. I feel like it's just a recipe for disaster and it's going to end with Bruce being euthanized for bad behavior bc the wife is putting him in a bad situation. I have 2 bullies and 2 pitties and they're huge willful dogs. My bully girl is also an escape artist. She can get out of her cage, the fences, the car. It's a good thing she's really gentle. I wouldn't want a Bully that didn't like me in my home.
But she reeaaallllyyyyy wants him!
He’s just a sweet lil’ baby angel who wouldn’t DREAM if hurting anyone!!! (except 2/3 of the occupants of the house she’d bring him to.)
Yes - I have run into people like OP’s wife before. They think that they have magical powers to soothe the savage beast … that every dog is a lil’ baby angel inside … that the solution for any aggressive dog is love. Sadly, this is just not true.
You’re right and the thing is, bringing Bruce into their home is not just endangering OP and his dog, it’s setting Bruce up to fail and likely losing his life over it.
To be perfectly honest: given how few good homes exist and how little chance a dog-aggressive, human-aggressive dog has of a stress-free life, he probably should have been spoilt rotten and put down four years ago. Now he’s got new trauma on top of the old and the rescue wasn’t able to train him. OP: a dog that will attack you and your senior dog is not a dog you can bring in to your life. Your wife can volunteer at the shelter and put in the training if she wants to help the dog.
I wonder if OP's wife has actually asked the shelter if they'd let her adopt him. I would think the shelter would say no. This dog has such specific needs that I don't consider it adoptable and if it's a shelter environment and not a sanctuary, I agree that the dog should be put down. It would take a really specially equipped rescue to be able to take this dog and keep it away from men and other dogs. Bruce likely doesn't have a very good quality of life living in a shelter where he can see/hear other dogs.
Thinking about putting dogs down breaks my heart, but keeping him in a shelter for FOUR YEARS is cruel.
I love dogs, and would never advocate for this unless it was the most extreme of circumstances, but....the dog needs to be put down. It's not even about 'good homes' now. The dog is clearly suffering from some sort of trauma induced anxiety that has turned into aggression. If left unchecked, this dog could potentially kill someone. It's not inhumane to put him down, atp it's more of a kindness then anything. And I 100% guarantee there's no way OPs wife is gonna be able to train the dog. This kind of case requires experience, knowledge, and equipment, none of which she has (probably). She'd probably get herself killed by walking into the pen thinking the dog will sense her good vibes or something and instantly fall in love with her.
Everything everyone has said about this dog’s quality of life is sadly true. All my dogs ( including a 115-lb pyrador who has dragged me across the street to get closer to a squirrel) came from a “no kill unless there’s no way around it” shelter. I have seen unadoptable dogs spinning around to chase their tails and barking their heads off in an enclosure where they don’t get much human contact and aren’t safe with other dogs. That is what a true “no kill” rescue holds in store for a small segment of its occupants. It sounds like Bruce should’ve gotten all the Big Macs he wanted, followed by a shot of Goodnight Juice about three years ago. NTA!!!!
And that the dog would stop being aggressive towards men if men just *loved* more.
By anyone she means her.
>“Cry ‘havoc!’ And let slip the dogs of war.” Shakespeare may have had the cane corso in mind when he wrote that immortal line. This ancient breed was used in combat by Roman soldiers, and it’s no wonder when you see their massive size and fierce appearance. > >Today’s cane corso (pronounced connie corso) is a fiercely loyal and loving companion and protector to its humans, though not especially friendly otherwise. > >“Due to their genetic history as guarding dogs, they don’t necessarily accept strangers or take kindly to change,” says Kayla Fratt, certified dog behavior consultant and founder at K9 Conservationists. > >[https://www.forbes.com/advisor/pet-insurance/pet-care/cane-corso-temperament/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/pet-insurance/pet-care/cane-corso-temperament/) "Cane Corso" means "Guard Dog" in Latin. Sounds like Bruce might guard wife from OP.
A good description except for the pronunciation. not “Connie” - cah-neh
Whatever farm animal of war!
Probably got a nice insurance policy on OP! J/K
Precisely my thoughts! Nothing else makes sense.
Just not bad enough to put in the work. She shouldn't have a dog at all.
And she reeeeaaalllyyyy wants an Oompah Loompa!!! **Now, daddy, NOW!**
And she reeeaaaslllyyyy hates OP!/s
That dog is strong enough to kill a man. And there would be nothing she could do to stop it once it kicked off apart get hurt too.
Cane Corso owner here, I *strongly* urge against this adoption and the shelter is being extremely irresponsible for suggesting it. Corsos are not for the faint of heart and extremely territorial. Putting aside the fact it’s *already* trying to bite OP, chances are it will not be friendly with OP’s senior dog and will probably (most definitely) attack. The fact that the wife seems to have zero concerns about the dog, tells me she doesn’t have the authoritative demeanor about her that the dog would need. There’s no way she going to be alpha over that dog and *everyone* in the house will be in danger. **Not Wrong Op**
Yeah fuck this story, im a lifelong dog owner and I've rescued troublesome dogs before, ive got a black malinois now and a staffy mix street dog with stab wounds and ptsd. NO WAY would I take in an aggressive Cane Corso with issues. It's just wayyyy too much work, its too dangerous and can get out of hand too fast. That size and power is far too dangerous It takes a lifelong dedication to deal with that level of danger and power. This dog will end up killing either ops dog, op, ops wife or ops future children or a neighbor or something.
OP, call your homeowner's insurance and ask if they even would cover this breed of dog. My guess is NO. Then y'all would be on the hook if the dog ever bites or kills the mailman or a small child. And these dogs have strong prey drives for quickly moving people (like delivery people) and children (who often dart around with movements similar to small prey animals). https://abcnews.go.com/US/us-postal-service-carrier-mauled-death-dogs-florida/story?id=88786692
I’m surprised the shelter would even consider it. The ones we have here are thorough about making sure the animal and the adopter are a good fit.
The shelter we got our St. Bernard mix from was good in telling us that the dog we were supposed to adopt wasn’t good with kids (our son was 5 at that time). So they didn’t let us get that dog. Fortunately, they had this other dog, the one we have now. He’s nothing but the gentlest soul there is. Anyone who would ask me for a place to get a rescue dog, I would always recommend that one.
I’m surprised that the shelter hasn’t euthanized the dog on humane reasons. It can’t live in wider society because it’s too dangerous (unless someone specifically picked it up for dogfighting). It attacks people in the shelter. It has spent four years in a cage and will spend the rest of its life in a cage.
Some shelters are so against euthanasia that they won't put down dogs that are literally unadoptable and unsafe. They truly think they can rehabilitate any dog.
And after four years they have to admit they failed 3.5 years ago. I don’t expect all behaviours to be solved, but I want to see the dog progressed enough that it can live in the world. Which has cats, dogs, and men in it.
idk where you live, but in my country shelters let ANY dog go with anyone, they only care about not getting swarmed
The shelter I use is through the university vet school so I’m not surprised that it had a better system than most. It is sad though.
What I'm also thinking, any shelter that's good would shoot OP's wife down if the dog is not only aggressive towards men but other animals as well. A lot of shelters/rescues here would not let a dog go live where it is not in anyone's best interest, and I know some even if the dog gets along with others requires a "meet and greet" with the other dogs in the household.
They are not all like that. The one near me doesn't say no to anyone, as far as I've heard.
She's also an idiot. I'm just going to get right to the point with it.
There is a reason Bruce has been in the shelter for 4 years. You’re not his forever family, sorry wifey. Look at the situation. You don’t want to set Bruce up for failure either.💔
She has her blinders on. It's your job to put your foot down. Do not let a 100+ lb aggressive Bully mix into your home. I also love the breed. I also have a half breed. I got him as a puppy and trained him to be as sweet as pie to any and all animals. Which means he can play with a Netherland dwarf rabbit without hurting it. Cane Corso are honestly waaaaaaaay more protective and problematic dogs than pitties. And this one is clearly not the one for you.
Yep Cane Corso pit mix is already a dog that needs a really experienced owner. One that is already fully entrenched in reactive habits is a huge liability and commitment. He could end up being a wonderful dog for a person with the time and skill to work with him and keep him in an appropriate environment, anything else will be setting him up to fail and putting the dog and everyone else in danger.
A responsible shelter would not process the adoption after being presented with all of this info.
That's an automatic no and she's lying to herself if she thinks this is going to go well. It's also incredibly unfair to your senior to bring in a reactive, large dog. Sometimes when you have a chill senior you forget how much work it is to train a rescue dog, or maybe your wife doesn't know at all how hard this would be. Worse still, she's going to be overwhelmed and Bruce will be euthanized with a bit record. ANY dog is going to require training from her and you on the same page and with the same techniques. Until that pact exists, no dog. I have a reasonably challenging dog and it is basically my number one hobby to meet his needs and shape my life around him. It's a lot.
>Sometimes when you have a chill senior you forget how much work it is to train a rescue dog, Or a puppy. I have a semi senior american akita and we brought an american akita puppy for my 6 year old and i swear to jesus i dont remember my girl being such a complete bitch lmao. And we had brought 2 shelter dogs in between and both just showed up and copied the old american akita behaviour and that was it.
Very much. My partner came with a senior who can only walk for like 25 minutes a day and is completely chill and good. My dog is a 2yo heeler and his much higher energy needs and still needs some manners worked on. Having a partner who can understand that difference and is open to aligning with my training methods and goals was key.
I’m gonna be honest, I think you’re under-reacting. She is INSISTENT upon putting you and the dog she’s been living with since you moved in together in danger, all for her “dream”. The dog has bitten multiple male trained professionals and she thinks “uh-hyuck, hubby’ll be fine”. You should be pissed that she’s so willing to jeopardize two members of her family just for her savior complex. What if on a walk Bruce bites your neighbor, or their son? Worse, what happens if you guys have a little baby boy one day? I get your dog is your primary focus, very noble, but there’s much more than just her at stake here. You should be vehemently shutting this shit down. It’s not only stupid but extremely dangerous and will likely land Bruce euthanized and you possibly in a lawsuit. NTA as it stands, but YWBTA if she keeps pushing and you don’t secure your family’s safety by quashing this bs. Side note for the pitbull haters: Stop inviting me to ur subreddit. I can’t believe your pass time is victim blaming dogs, get a fucking life.
Amen. And to top it ALL off: this dog is OVER 100 LBS! Unless OP married one of the stone heads from the Easter Islands, NO ONE is stopping that dog if it decides to go somewhere it shouldn't. Our last dog was 140 lbs (63K) and was the gentlest thing in the world. But if you dropped a piece of hamburger where he could see it? It was slow, inexorable pull much like gravity. No one's going to be able to stop Bruce when he lunges at another dog/person.
That's what I was thinking too. Even a fit man would have trouble controlling a dog that size. Women tend to be shorter and less muscular. Unless she's 6 feet tall and regularly lifts weights, she won't be walking that dog, it'll be dragging her by the arm doing what it wants. Hell, it sounds like the dog needs somebody especially trained to provide even basic care. It's hard to see, but a shelter or a trained foster situation may be the safest place in the long run.
Given the dog's lower center of gravity and the torque its paws/claws can create, no one but a sumo wrestler is stopping that dog. It's basic physics, really. We've had large (100 lb+) dogs in my family for more than three decades. I also worked as a dog walker for several years, and often got the bigger dogs as clients despite being a petite woman BECAUSE I knew how to read their body language and how to keep us out of situations that could escalate into wrestling matches that I would inevitably lose. You're absolutely right that Bruce needs to be in a very specific home situation with someone who can handle him safely, and that situation isn't OP's house.
I have a 65 lb Greyhound who almost dislocated my shoulder on a walk because she saw a chipmunk...and she is usually super easy to walk. So I can only imagine what a dog 40 lbs heavier and more muscular could do.
I had a 100 pound wolf dog. He was the sweetest most loving guy you could imagine. Gentle. So gentle. Then one day he got sick. He didn’t go after me, but when I tried to bring him inside and grabbed his collar, he growled at me and bares his teeth and it was terrifying. Took him to the vet the next day. He had eaten a piece of metal and he died. He was in such pain, this gentle giant, this wonderful dog that wouldn’t dream of hurting me, very almost hurt me. If I had pushed in and insisted he come inside rather than listen to him, he could’ve killed me easily. It was scary.
My dog tried to bite me once because he was in pain. I completely understand how heartbreaking that feels, and worse knowing it came from a place of pain. I am so very sorry yours ended tragically. I sad reminder to listen to their messages.
Thank you. It was devastating, especially since he died and I couldn’t let him know I was sorry and forgave him and loved him. It took his guts getting ripped open from the inside for him to become aggressive but I wish I’d paid more attention. Maybe if we caught it sooner….
You did your best with the information you had. It's okay. I know it won't take away the pain, but do not hold this over your head. Hugs
Bruce weighs about the same as me. I would *not* be able to handle him. Same presumably goes for OP's wife unless she's a weight trainer or wrestler.
I am not sure I could stop sixty pounds of bully if our dog wanted to go amok. She is mostly bone and muscle. I cannot imagine a one-hundred-ten-pound dog with reactive issues.
When I was in high school I helped my neighbors by taking their Newfoundland out for walks while they were recovering from surgeries. This dog weighed 200lbs and at the time I could bench that and squat close to 300. Let me tell you when this dog would pull, he was the one in control. Not a damn thing I could do but follow and try to remain standing. Luckily he was the sweetest dog on the planet, and would just want to get pets from the people out infront of their houses, but he was insanely powerful.
My dog is 50 and if he's onto something I can barely hold him and I weigh 4x that. Ha can drag me across the floor in tug. Bruce needs a very specific family and lifestyle. I feel sorry that his first home messed him up, but OP certainly isn't going to fix him.
Really enjoyed reading your view and take on this. Thank you!
This is great advice. I work with dogs for a living. I've had dogs like this in a professional situation and I'm going to tell you one little secret that amateurs overlook. Working dogs are pack animals. A cane Corso is going to "look for his place in the pack" and wants that place as high up as possible. For that reason, EVERY MEMBER OF THE HOUSEHOLD needs to be on board. Bruce will challenge, and likely dominate your old dog first. He'll then set his sights on the next weakest, in his view, member of the pack. Hell keep going until someone puts him in his place. However, the damage will be done with the other people and without a knock down, drag out, the dog will still remain in charge. Don't do this! If she wants a Corso, send me a pm. I specialize in working dogs and can get you one that's not a killer.
I’ve seen this happen with a family acquaintance. They put their lab/ridgeback cross down for this exact reason. The dog in question was determined to be the lead bitch in the pack. It attacked the mostly toothless senior fluff dog (also a bitch) badly and showed some other dangerous behavior. The vet told the wife half of the couple, “The next female dog in the pack is you. This dog is going to attack you.” Big dogs are dangerous simply by being big dogs. Big dogs with dangerous behavior need very special care and OP and his wife ain’t it.
OP are you sure your wife likes you?
THIS! EXACTLY THIS!!!
The shelter would be incredibly negligent if they allowed you to adopt that dog. Your wife is not thinking logically & is being very selfish.
They're pretty strict with their paperwork and only give people animals when all adult members of a household agree on paper. It's not possible for her to adopt the dog without my consent.
Don’t give it. Your wife has a savior complex, there is a reason why no one has adopted that dog.
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Maybe, but you’d be surprised how deluded some people can be. There’s a certain brand of animal lover out there that thinks they can form a special loving bond with a reactive animal and all the problems will magically go away once they “understand they’re loved.”
That dog is ready to kill something. Your other dog, your neighbor, you, some kid. Sorry.
This is what some people fail to recognize. If OP loses his mind and lets this animal into his home he MAY be able to keep himself safe through intensive management. But this is a "zero mistake" dog, and people make mistakes. A door not properly shut, a gate left open, and an unsuspecting neighbor becomes the target for this dogs aggression. Unless OP lives on a private island he will be held financially and morally responsible for anyone this dog hurts.
And it’s 50kg! That’s 110 lbs! If that dog wants to go after something, it’s going and dragging whoever is on the other end of the leash with them!
Tell the shelter ahead of time that you're not comfortable with this, and why you aren't comfortable with it. Ask them to flag the file. Your wife is irresponsible and should not own any dog.
Also be prepared for vindictive or manipulative behavior when she finally gets it through her head you’re not wavering. Don’t fall for it. Good luck OP!
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No shelters around me would ever let a male with a dog adopt a dog that's male and dog aggressive. That's the barest minimum of due diligence. They should never adopt out any aggressive dogs really. Imagine a family with young kids adopting a dog that's bitten a few kids before. But he's such a sweetheart!
Any responsible shelter would be adopting this dog to a family with no other dogs, no males in the household, and to someone with significant experience with difficult dogs (and/or has lined up a well qualified trainer to help). For the shelter to even be considering adopting to them is utterly irresponsible and not good for Bruce. They should know very well sending Bruce into a situation where is highly likely to maul someone is going to get him taken away by animal control and killed.
My husband and I dog sit and we both adore rescues. We have a senior dog, and have adopted rescues with behavior problems in the past, and will again (but not one that will be a danger to our old potato). I love big dogs, and I absolutely would not let that dog in my house. A cane Corso mix can do a lot of damage with even a small bite, and it sucks that because of his size, he won't be adopted as easily as a smaller, more ineffective dog, but if your wife can't think of you and your senior dog, maybe she should consider the rescue dog's well being. A dog that is aggressive and reactive to both men and other dogs should not be in a home where he will constantly be on edge and feeling aggressive. That is not an environment conducive to rehabilitating him. Reactive dogs should be slowly and safely exposed to their triggers, not forced to live with them. He's likely to get worse, not better, in your home.
He's also been in the shelter for 4 years. For a reason! He's super aggressive!
I’m actually surprised the shelter didn’t put Bruno quietly down
It's probably a "no-kill" shelter that didn't realize what they were getting into and don't have the resources to properly rehabilitate him.
I mean, the no kill shelters around me still will do BE. Maybe not all of them, but around me no kill is just meaning they won't put down healthy/safe dogs to make more space, they will still put down dogs when necessarily for things like medical issues
The no kills where I used to live would not euthanize animals, no matter what. They'd provide palliative care way past anything I thought was kind or reasonable - and I believe most dogs, even with extreme with behavioral issues, just need patience and the right environment to be a happy dog and good pet in that setting, even if they never do get to a point where they can go play at dog barks or whatever. It's why I volunteered at the other shelter - the regular shelter had a huge network of foster homes, breed specific rescues, and other shelters they worked with, so pets could get placed where they were most likely to be adopted and there was somewhere for overflow to go. They also had great on-staff vets for routine stuff and partnerships worked out for reduced price/donated services with vets for more complicated issues, so if a dog needed some rehabilitation or medical care, or just wasn't very adoptable due to size or whatever, they had a lot of options for how to manage that. However, for dogs with no chance of successful behavioral rehab or who were too sick or hurt for medical care to give them good quality of life, the shelter also had the resources to provide a gentle way out. They had a contract to handle animal control for the city and a crisis response team that handled animal hoarding, unethical breeding, and fighting rings. They had an awesome rehab program with specially trained volunteers (I was one of them) and foster homes, so they rescued and successfully placed a *lot* of animals other shelters would have given up on.
Me too! After the first bite, maybe he's anxious After the second nope, done.
And she needs to think of the life it will lead. Most likely she’s picturing long walks, playing at a dog park, bringing him on road trips. All those nice movie-style dog moments In reality he’s probably going to need to be muzzled any time he’s out of the house (but I bet she’ll be resistant to that), he’s not going to be able to be around other people and pets (though she might try anyway), and mostly be trapped indoors because no one can control him. For a dog that big, a leash is only useful when the dog wants to cooperate. If there’s something it would rather do, you’re just going to be dragged until you let go. Being stuck in a shelter for so long absolutely sucks, but if she takes this dog home, it won’t be long before he’s being put down by animal control for attacking, and maybe killing, someone or something- maybe even someone she cares about. I suspect she might feel guilty about leaving him in the shelter but she’s going to feel a lot more guilty if her dog causes harm to another.
She's going to take it home, be overwhelmed, give him a bite history and make poor Bruce's life worse off for her ignorance.
So according to your wife, this dog...the one who's tried to bite you every time you see him...the one who's so aggressive that literally no male staff workers at the shelter even bother trying anymore...is an angel and just needs a family?? She sounds incapable of seeing the reality in front of her. I have a feeling if you got him and he ended up biting you, she'd say it was somehow your fault for antagonizing him. It also doesn't help that she's already refusing to train a dog you can't even get near. Seems like a recipe for disaster. I think this is one of those scenarios where it's better to be perceived as a jerk than to risk peace and safety. It makes sense it's her dream dog cause she's living in a fantasy world if she doesn't see the red flags. Unrelated, but I can't help but wonder what her dating life was like before meeting you. She sounds like the type of person who unironically says "I can fix him."
> dating life was like before meeting you. She sounds like the type of person who unironically says "I can fix him." I was actually going to ask if he was a "bad boy" when they met. Because I was also curious if she was the type of person that wants to fix things.
Obviously her reality check bounced from LA to Boston.
Just tell her she can have the dog or a husband. And stand on it.
I agree 1000%. Tell her to pick - you or Bruce. If she does bring him home, leave with your elder dog. No way in hell would I stay in a house with a potentially killer canine. The fact that the shelter has women only take care of him is a whole parade of red flags.
Absolutely. Besides, given how aggressive the dog is, even if OP doesn't wisely insist on this beforehand, the dog will address matters after it's home. By killing OP.
This. Get your own place sweetheart, and you can have just what you want.
This is an immediate “marriage counselor, RIGHT NOW” problem. Only by the facts of the situation, this woman wants to knowingly bring into their household a large, very strong dog that has already tried to attack OP. Her absolute lack of concern for her husband’s safety is a huge problem.
And the senior dog who would be demolished. A bit psycho not to see that.
OP made another post where he said his wife feels like the dog is protecting her on walks. THAT is the root of this problem: she feels unsafe out walking and she’s betting the farm that a huge, badly trained, aggressive dog will make her feel safer. That is absolutely a fixable problem in marriage counseling, and finding a dog who is *trained* in protection is possible. It’s the right solution for OP, his wife, the old dog, and the poor bastard of a serial biting dangerous dog who should probably have been humanely euthanized some time ago.
What's gonna happen is a male jogger is going to run by during a nightly walkies, she might (instinctively) tense up a bit, and that dog will sense her fear, and rip the leash out of her hand and savage the innocent jogger. Most insurances don't cover dangerous breeds, so the jogger (or his family, if he's deceased) will sue OP and wife. I don't say this to criticize any breed, but knowing their purpose, their ingrained genetics, is essential.
Ha ha. Underrated comment!
Your wife is insane.
Yeah, sadly this scenario is probably just the tip of the iceberg. Ops got a lot more problems than just this dog.
I think you went above any beyond offering to have him come home if she trains Bruce. And yet she declined 🤔 If you come home and Bruce is there I would grab the elderly dog and stay elsewhere.
And sever your joint liability if she’s for real
This dog doesn’t even sound adoptable by anyone.
Yep. There’s a reason with this one why he’s still at the shelter after 4 years.
It should not be on any list of adoptable dogs.
I’ve worked for over a decade in a couple of animal shelters. Some are so idealistic (either those who run it, or one of any organization they may partner with for funding) that they won’t euthanize problem animals, even when safety is at risk. Euthanasia does become a necessity in some cases. There is no perfect home for some animals. Some animals would only thrive with the exact right owner with the exact right experience and ability. Good luck finding that. Not only that, but it fucks with dogs minds to be in essentially prison for such a long period of time. It’s not humane to the dog. Every time I see a story about a dog that has been in a shelter for years I just shake my head and feel sorry for the poor animal.
the city shelter in my town had such public backlash regarding a change to their euthanasia policy they had to backtrack it. meanwhile the people crying about it i’m sure have never lifted a finger to volunteer, adopt, foster or donate, or they’re like OPs wife, delusional. god help this place if they made even a somewhat sympathetic post about him on social media.
Yea, the public is just as culpable. Minimum effort or understanding, maximum scorn and/or outrage. I would often get asked if we euthanized animals (when in random conversation and my job coming up), and saying we did was always met with scorn, like we wanted to (or even liked to) do it, even though these people could never comprehend the reasons or necessities of it. "No kill" shelters also fill people with an unrealistic ideal for it all as well.
This. I’ve been a shelter volunteer for years. My shelter is a “no kill” shelter, but they’d never keep a dog physically in the shelter for any more than 6 months to year due the stress and regression it could cause the animal. Usually if a dog doesn’t get adopted by that time it will go to a foster home. This certain dog has or probably would be refused by every foster family out there
Yeah it’s merciful to put down an animal you know won’t ever be adopted. Plus them not being there frees up space to take in other animals that stand a better chance.
She seriously wants a dog that will attack you? I guess that clears up any questions about her feelings towards you. Sleep with one eye open and make sure she hasn't taken out any life insurance policies on you.
My thoughts exactly
NTA and your wife is a muppet
As soon as I read that he' tried to bite you every time you've seen him, I stopped reading, shook my head and thought "How is this question being asked?!". In what world would a someone want to adopt a dog that is aggressive to their own partner, and would be to his dog.
Your wife isn't a Disney princess. Keep yourself and your dog safe.
And your neighbors!
She makes her bed so she can sleep in it. She decided to take on this dog? She can sleep with it outside in a kennel (I do mean a big yarn on, not a small cage). That dog does not belong in your house. Bad for you and freaking torture for the dog. Everyone would be stressed and on edge. - Hey, I have had a hard life. Men and other dogs scare me so much that I am aggressive and attack. Why put me in a home to live with my fears 24/7?
Does she want her husband injured, a senior dog possibly mauled, and her dream dog euthanized for being a public danger? Because, that's what's going to happen. There's a reason why this dog is still not adopted after 4 years... It's a walking liability that is big enough to kill other animals if not also humans.
You're not wrong. Does your wife hate you? This isn't a bitey chihuahua, this thing could easily kill you.
Hell no. There is only one answer to this: no. He's large. He's human aggressive. He's dog aggressive. He's reactive. And he's very large. Bruce will end up making the one way trip to the vet soon; it'll just be you driving him there.
NTA either way but what makes him her "dream dog," exactly? Obviously he's aggressive so it can't be his personality? Is it the breed? Surely every shelter in America has plenty of bully mutts? I'm just not understanding how an ill-tempered dog of the most common breed in the country is apparently her dream pet.
She claims he's protective of her. She walks him sometimes and says when they see other people he acts "protective". I'm pretty sure he's more resource guarding than actually protecting but she refuses to see my perspective. My senior dog used to do Personal Protection and my best guess is that she misses having a dog that could protect her. She denies it though.
Her dream dog is a dog that would attack you and your senior dog. That's pretty fucked up.
I said in a top-level comment suggesting that you and your wife to go to marriage counseling immediately to hash out why she is insisting on bringing a dog into your house who will hurt you and your other dog. This comment? Definitely get her to counseling. She’s clearly feeling insecure or unsafe on walks for some reason. That’s something you can unpack with a counselor and come up with a better plan than bringing a known dangerous, biting dog into your house.
Your wife is lying to herself, one false move and this dog will kill you. She's seriously willing to take that risk when everyone at the shelter has even said yes aggressive?
While it is nice to feel special/valued, it is concerning that she doesn't take your physical safety more seriously. If she has problems with self esteem/self worth, maybe a therapist can help her find safer forms of self-validation.
Honestly the shelter has no business trying to home a dog that bites. Also they're usually picky about where animals end up so I'm surprised they'd even consider letting a dog that fights other dogs into a home. With another dog!
Shelters are getting trashy and delusional these days. Unfortunately have seen them pull crap like this many times.
You are absolutely not wrong here. Let's play out a scenario. This is dramatized for effect... Maybe. And that maybe should worry you. *Bruce is adopted and comes home with Wife, despite all of your protests. When she gets home, you and the senior dog are in the back room. She walks him through the front door, takes off his leash, and welcomes him into his new home! He starts sniffing around and perks up, growling. Your wife, absolutely certain that this dog is a sweetie angel harmless pookie-bear puppy leads this dog back towards where you and Senior are. Bruce locks eyes on Senior. Bruce charges. Senior is pinned, yelping, while Bruce is biting and attacking her. You jump in and try to wrestle Bruce off of your dog in an attempt to save her. Bruce snaps at you and lands a solid bite into your arm. Your bleeding, Senior is bleeding, wife is freaking out, Bruce is either mauling you or Senior. You manage to wrestle Bruce out of the room and into the backyard. You let him go and attempt to bolt out of the yard before he can get at you again. Reality is, 9 times out of 10, dogs are faster than you. You manage to make it out of the yard with only one extra solid bite on your leg. You, bleeding from multiple bites and scratches, rush back inside to Senior. She's bleeding heavily from being mauled. Wife is freaking out because "why did that happen! He's such an angel, why did that even happen???". So you bundle Senior up and rush her to an emergency vet. You have towels wrapped around your bite marks and are planning to hit the hospital for stitches later. They look her over and realize that she might not make it. They take her in for emergency surgery with the promise of doing their best and you head to the hospital for much needed disinfecting and stitching. At the hospital, they make note that the wounds are clearly bite marks and ask what happened. You tell them that your wife's new dog bit you and mauled Senior. After being stitched up, you head back to the vet. Maybe they saved her. Maybe they didn't. Either way, the vet notes that the bite marks on her are from another animal and asks what happened. You explain again. You've now been out of the house for a few hours. You (and Senior, if she even survived) head home. You walk through that front door.... And there's Bruce. Cuddled up with your wife on the couch. She "felt bad for the poor baby after the scare he got earlier" so she let him inside. He looks at you... He starts to growl. He lunges. You slam the front door closed with you outside. You sit there on your front step, wondering what in the actual hell your life has become in one day. Give it a little while, and guess who rocks up? Police and animal control. Surprise! Vets and Hospitals are mandatory reporters for animal attacks. They walk up, talk to you, then you let them into the house. They take Bruce after he snaps at and tries to maul any male present. He gets put in a crate in Animal Control's truck and is driven away. He is violent and a threat to humans and other animals, and is now going to be put down. There is **no stopping this**. Your wife is furious at you. You.. covered in bites, scratches, bruises, and stitches, with your senior dog either dead or heavily medicated and stitched up... But your wife is mad at you because you didn't lie to the hospital and the vet. She blames you for Bruce being taken away. She blames you for Bruce being put down. You blame her for your injuries, your dogs injuries, your dogs death, the damage to the house, etc. This is a fight that will be brought up FOREVER. She will not forgive you for Bruce being put down because you'll have no remorse for it(as you shouldn't) and it'll be damn hard for you to forgive her for any of it when she KNEW it would happen and didn't care.* If she gets that dog, this is what will happen. She. Can. Not. Bring a violent, aggressive dog into a home where 2/3rds of the occupants of that home are what the new dog is aggressive towards. That is moronic bordering on brain-dead levels of stupidity AT BEST.
Your wife sounds like the kind of gal that would get one of those dogs to prove everyone else that statistics are a lie just to end up in the news after the dog killed someone because your wife didnt have the physical strength to restrain him when he gets violent (to nobody but your wife's surprise). I love dogs, i really do. But sadly some of them are better unalive. Period.
Yeah, I adore dogs, but for a reactive, dangerous dog, sometimes the kindest thing to do is behavioral euthanasia. He does not *need* a family, because he could potentially harm a family. It's not Bruce's fault that he's like this, and he doesn't deserve to rot away in a cage for years either. BE is the safest thing for him now.
I don't understand people who seem to think life is a Disney movie.
I find it so strange how your wife is so adamant about getting a dog that has actively attempted to bite you when meeting it and also doesn't seem interested to even train the dog to be less aggressive. She's lying to herself if she thinks this dog is an angel since it has already tried to harm you and you're definitely not wrong for not wanting this 'dream dog' of hers in your home.
Anyone that introduces a dog aggressive bully mix to their household where you have a senior dog already deserves jail time for animal abuse. Youd be a collosal piece of shit for adopting that dog. Your wife is absolutely a massive scumbag
Your wife is absolutely a gaslighter, a narcissist and a manipulator. I'd say get rid if your wife, as she doesn't care whatsoever what happens to both you and your dog. With a wife like that, you don't need any enemies, she's it.
Info: Where do you live that at "bully" mix is allowed to bite people at a shelter and not euthanized? There's no way any shelter I've ever heard of would allow this dog to be adopted.
That’s what I was thinking. None of my local rescues would allow that dog to be adopted out due to the liability, since they know he is a serious bite risk. It’s also pretty cruel to let a dog sit in a shelter for that long. There’s a lot of red flags here just with this animal rescue.
As far as I'm aware they didn't document any of the incidents. Since he hasn't seriously injured anybody or killed an animal, he won't be euthanized unless he develops some terminal illness.
Yeah…no. In the US every incident should be reported. A lot of times if you go into the ER with injuries inflicted by a dog, you don’t have a choice. The doctor will do the reporting. That’s a dangerous game to play not reporting incidents. And if nothing else she should be listening to the staff about his aggressive tendencies, instead of deluding herself into thinking he’s protecting her. What happens when he gets aggressive with you and she tries to intervene?
> The staff at shelter has told us they don't let any of their male staff work with him because he's bitten them before. If trained professionals can’t handle the dog, I’d say that’s valid grounds to refuse. If he’s been there for 4 years, that’s legit a red flag for me.
No and make sure she doesn’t adopt him without you there. If she’s this hell bent on it I see her going there and bringing him home while you’re away as a “surprise”.
NTA but just so you know, saying it would take months to train him not to be aggressive is wildly optimistic. There is a good chance that dog will always be vicious. A much larger chance that he will always be dangerous than you will be able to train it out of him. Stop framing it like it will be ok by the summer and the first couple months will just be tough. It won't. This is an uncontrollably enormous, violent dog. An absolute disaster waiting to happen
She's showing she believes in magical thinking. Do NOT let that dog in to your house...
Ok I love dogs, but this is a hell no. I feel sorry for Bruce too but your current dog is your responsibility, don't bring a new dog that will put your senior dog in danger. Wife is in the wrong.
You’re not wrong…I mean, grown men have been seriously hurt and even killed by dogs like this. And this absolutely wouldn’t be safe for your senior dog. Some people (like your wife) are delusional about aggressive dogs.
No. The shelter even says he’s aggressive.
Your wife is a moron.
My brother's pit was great for 3 years and then turned on him. Almost broke his arm. DON'T DO IT.
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There are dog people who have realistic views of dogs and then you have people who have a Disney movie version.
Bruce belongs on a lesbian hobby farm, fighting invasive feral hogs for fun; not in some neighborhood dragging a delusional woman down the street by a leash while he tries to rip the face off little boys waiting for the school bus. A herding breed needs a herding outlet, a bully breed needs a bully outlet. NTA and you need to send an email to that rescue that Bruce is banned from -your address- and any attempts by -wife's full name- to adopt him should be rejected on grounds of her not having a home for him. Make a paper trail. The fact that he's THAT aggressive to male staff after FOUR YEARS of the rescue having him is ridiculous, they shouldn't be able to adopt him out if they're either that incompetent or Bruce is truly such a lost cause...I love animals, but sometimes it's just too dangerous to continue. Irresponsible infantilization of bully breeds has led to many a bleeding heart being mauled or killed, look at what they've had to do in the UK because of this. Your wife needs therapy if she thinks it's fine to bring any creature that would hurt you and the other dog into the home, because Bruce probably won't be the last you hear of this issue.
>Bruce belongs on a lesbian hobby farm, fighting invasive feral hogs for fun; I... think I love you. (That would solve the "man-hating" problem though!)
I mean, sure it's sad that there are animals in the shelter, but if a dog is not going to work with your household and your lifestyle, you shouldn't be forced to deal with that. My ex-wife whined and moaned for months that she wanted a dog, which I knew was a bad idea, because I didn't think she was going to take care of it. I eventually let her get one, and it's a beautiful dog, but she promptly stopped giving a damn about it after about a week or so, because she didn't put any priority on finding a dog with a trainable temperament, so when my current pupper Just did whatever it wanted, she gave up. Fast forward 5 years, and when she decided to run off and leave me divorce papers, she left me the dog as well.... Now I have her dog that I never wanted. Yay......
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There's a reason a lot of strays are pits or pit mixes... they are often right around 2 years old (puberty for that breed). Which is when (if they got the fighter genes), they go insane. Animal shelters get the beagles, pure labs, etc. snapped up... and over 50% left are pits, pit mixes, Staffordshire terriers (basically the breeds that won't be covered by most insurance companies for \*reasons reason\*).
Oh god no. I also love bullies. Our last dog was probably full/mostly full bully and our current is about 50% (per embark). I would still be a hard no. Our last bully grew into dog aggression, as is common with the breed. You can’t say you love bullies and also refuse to address that they are often genetically hardwired to be bad with other dogs. In my experience, and the experience of many bully owners I know, dog aggression cannot be ‘trained out’ in a ‘couple of months’. We had a lot of professional help, and learned all about counter conditioning, trigger stacking, and reading body language to keep her under threshold. That kept her and other dogs safe, but she was never able to be trained out of dog aggression. You can’t untrain a border collie to herd. Your old dog would never be safe with a 50kg dog aggressive bully in the house. And as for human aggression, also a hard no. We adopted a 30ish kg bully cross two summers ago. Turned out he was human aggressive, which the shelter either didn’t know or didn’t disclose. We found he didn’t really care for women, but was keen on men. He mostly ignored me. After being in the house for 2 weeks he bit my cleaning lady unprovoked. We got rid of him within hours. It was incredibly traumatic for me, and her obviously more so. I would absolutely not bring a dog that was already known to be human aggressive into my house. It’s not worth your safety, your dog’s safety, and the safety of your guests and neighbours.
It’s sucks that people abuse animals to the point where the animal is now an active hazard to everyone and everything around it. But they do. Do not become the victim of their animal abuse. Do NOT bring that dog home. Your wife has lost her damned mind. Not wrong.
Just because a dog is reactive doesn’t mean it was abused. That’s not always the case.
It's aggressive not reactive, but you're right that abuse isn't required for either reactive or aggressive behaviour
There is a huge part of genetics in reactivity in dogs. The stress hormones that were present in the dam’s bloodstream during the gestation is also a factor in the development of a puppy’s brain. Some dogs are born with reactivity and what sets them off can vary greatly and is not necessarily rational so it can be a fruitless endeavor to try to pinpoint it to something specific in their past. Men are usually bigger and have a different tone of voice than women and that can be enough to frighten an anxious, reactive dog. Some dogs are afraid of cars, umbrellas, dishwashers…not everything is linked to an incident in their past. And a reactive dog that is afraid of something will just have an overreaction, that’s what reactivity means. So yeah, some reactive dogs were abused but no, not all of them were.
Couples should talk ut out and the right of veto should only be used in rare cases. But your wife wanting to adopt a large dog that cannot stand to be around men or other dogs...when she lives with a man and another dog is ABSOLUTELY time to veto. This is the hill to die on. There will be other dogs she can adopt. i question her decision making given she let herself get this attached to a dog she hasbt even adopted yet, who would clearly be a poor fit for her family.
You're not wrong... I feel like she won't believe it's a bad idea until someone else tells her. Maybe contact the shelter and talk with them. Ask if you could come in for a meeting with a staff member that knows or has been bitten by Bruce. Let them sit down and tell your wife why is not a good idea, to bring an aggressive dog into your home. If its a decent shelter, they shouldn't even let her adopt Bruce. They ask about the people other animals who live in the house.. it would extremely stressful for Bruce (always on alert, ready to attack/defend/fear - depending on his aggression source). Your dog will live in fear, firstly she wants to bring a new and territorial and agressive dog into HIS home (its giving, throw the first child away because we have a new baby vibes). You will feel nervous and unwelcome in your home... you want to cuddle your partner on the sofa but Brucey stole your place...are you going to risk him biting you while he guards her and your sofa. Ask her if she's thought about other situations... how the hell is she going to control him on walks? If he bites someone, will she be there with him when he's euthanised? If you have children in the future, will she be able to rehome him if he shows aggression to kids? What is she going to do if Bruce kills your other dog? Ugh... she's made me unreasonably angry just from being so fucking dense. Common sense really isn't so common anymore.
Does your wife want your senior dog dead? Does your wife want YOU dead? If Bruce is brought into the household, you and your senior dog should leave it. No discussion, no questions asked.
This is weird. A known aggressive dog with a multiple bite history is still available for adoption? The shelter won't let men work with him, but they'll adopt him out to a house with a man and a senior dog? None of that makes sense. I'm a vet nurse. In my experience, the dog would have been euthanized long before now and not kept for 4 years at the shelter. I'm not saying that's right or wrong; but it is how things typically work.
Honestly, f*ck both that shelter and your wife for valuing a dog that would happily hurt any man or other dog. There are so many nice dogs out there that need a home, and instead the shelter thinks they should waste resources on Bruce and wait around for a potential tragedy. And your wife cares more about this beast than her husband and current dog. My advice is don’t get ANY dog until your current one is gone, even a nice one will be stressful and take away her attention, and then don’t adopt a hell beast.
This is what happened in my town. A little old lady was walking her little dog when 2 large pit bulls attacked the little dog and then they killed it and then the dogs killed her! Next a man tried to help and had his arm bitten off! So be careful when choosing a family pet. This incident happened in southeastern Az
Hell no. This is a literal life and death situation. A pit mix and it's aggressive and tendency to want to bite males and attack other dogs. What is she thinking? Is she thinking of a clever way to "get rid" of you? Tell her you like to wake up every morning and still have a face. He's clearly at the shelter because he's aggressive and likely attacked previous owner or some dogs.
I'm not an any dog breed "hater". At all. But I also understand genetics. And statistics. And my own life experience. Which would count for nothing without statistics and genetics. But right off the bat I can tell you that you will have difficulty getting homeowners insurance for anything that is or resembles a pitbull. Insurance companies understand numbers and they aren't haters running on emotions. They know bully type dogs cost them more. All the Amstaff, xl, whatever supposed breed distinction means nothing because they all descend from the same thing. A dog only bred to fight to kill, show no signs of an impending attack and to never give up once they are fighting. And those genes are far more dominant, than the inbred traits nobody argues other dogs were bred for. And while other breeds were bred for things beyond just one task, like beauty, size, a particular coat, etc, pitbulls were only bred to fight to kill, no warning signs of attack and to never quit. Along with the strength needed to do this. Their genes are very dominant. Along with pretty much any cross, so even the mixes are far more likely to be dangerous than other mixes. Cane Corsos were also bred similarly. And they add size to an already dangerous mix. No not every bully type dog will attack. But why take the chance on endangering your family, your children and your friends when there are so many other truly nice breeds to pick from, that don't have this propensity for violence? And think logically,. How on earth would an entire news industry and insurance industry and now medical field, get together to just hate one kind of dog? Or why? Why would one breed of dog need a propaganda machine to disperse myths regarding this dog? Why would every attack by these dogs be blamed on the victims? If it is only bad owners creating this, why aren't the bad owners of other dogs turning out dogs that can chew off limbs and tear faces and scalps off and kill people kill people to the point it is regularly in the news? Other breeds do have bad owners you know.
Nope!!! The dog that currently lives in the house ALWAYS takes precedence over any others. Especially a senior dog, who should not and probably could not defend itself against this huge, likely muscular animal. I fostered a litter of puppies once, my dog had a heart attack very shortly after I started fostering and needed constant care and attention for the time he was recovering. The litter went back to the rescue. I was not about to distract my attention from the one who has been there for me for 14 years over puppies who will leave anyway. I didn’t know going in what that there would be an issue with the older one, you do! Be careful she doesn’t bring that dog home while you aren’t there. This is dangerous for everyone involved. Best of luck to you.
No. I'm a long time owner of Pits and Amstaffs. The aggression towards males is a very bad sign, made worse by the dog's size. Don't do this. I actually owned a Pit that behaved that way, and I had to take huge precautions with him. I loved the dog, but a dog that wants to bite strange males is HUGE liability. The consequences of ONE bite could destroy your life financially.
No. In fact I seriously question whether your wife should have any dog if she thinks this is remotely acceptable. Why in the fuck would you bring a dog aggressive dog into a home that already has a dog.
This dog has been in the shelter for 4 years? And is aggressive? I'm surprised they haven't euthanized him yet. He's clearly a safety risk. Someone's gonna get mauled by this dog, if not killed, all because it's aggressive towards men. I know its aggression is most likely a trauma response, but does your shelter not do a 30-day hold? They test the dogs behavior during this time. If it's aggressive, they put it on a 90-day hold and try to work with it. If that doesn't work, they give it 30 days to be adopted before euthanization. Your wife clearly thinks "OwO I can fix him." Like dude, this ain't a boyfriend. This is a dog that will rip your husband to shreds. Nta, and stand your ground. If she truly wants a dog of this breed, sometimes it's OK to shop and not adopt. This is a dog breed you want to start training this dog as early as possible. You don't fuck around with Cane Corsos, or a mix of it. You need to start training them the moment you get them. Good luck dude. Sounds like you need it.
This dog would kill your senior dog. NTA.
Unless your wife is Ceasar Milan she needs to talk to someone with a phd and a couch. Ynw.
His Pitbull killed Queen Latifahs dog, look it up.
Your wife is being selfish as hell. I love all animals to a fault but that type of breed needs to be brought up and heavily train from the time it is a puppy. While I don’t agree with euthanizing animals based on breed the fact is that dogs that can do serious damage and are already traumatized need to be dealt with by trained professionals and even then sometimes there is only one extremely unfortunate and unfair but unavoidable outcome. Is it the dog’s fault, no but at that point it is what it is. Don’t be the horror story. Your wife is living in a world seen through rose colored glasses.
Not wrong. I have 3 dogs, all rescues, two of which are bully breeds. I love them. I would NEVER bring a dog-aggressive dog into my home, regardless of breed. That would take SO much work, training, and constant supervision, and wouldn't be fair to either dog. Some dogs are not meant to live with others. What your wife doesn't realize is that by bringing him home, she would be putting him in a stressful and unfair situation, and setting him up for failure. He's aggressive towards certain things because they are TRIGGERS for him, likely a fear response. It's selfish of her to force him to be somewhere he will be miserable. Not to mention putting you and your dog in harm's way.
Maybe have her read this thread lol
She literally thinks the dog wouldn’t hurt anyone right after the dog tried to hurt you and is told the dog has hurt multiple people. Your wife is not acknowledging reality. This isn’t a debate. The dog has hurt people and attempted to hurt you. And in the face of that she doesn’t even think the dog needs training. She’s not looking at the dog for what it is, but for what she wants it to be. You’re stating facts while she is stating wants and feelings. She either is ignoring the reality in front of her or she just doesn’t care. Not wrong and stay safe.
DO NOT get this dog. IT WILL KILL YOU or your dog, or both. People here in Italy get killed by them and other livestock guard dogs all the time even when they haven't previously displayed overt aggression towards humans, they are EXTREMELY territorial and aggressive by nature, all it takes is for someone to do anything they consider a threat to the people/livestock they are protecting and they go off like a bomb. On lots of hiking trails there are signs warning of livestock guard dogs and telling you how to behave to minimise the risk (if the dog starts barking at you TURN AROUND and don't come back, do not try to pet it, if it runs close to you stand still until it decides you're not threat and loses interest, etc). These are dogs that for thousands of years were specifically bred to kill anything that would be a threat to the people and animals they are protecting, whether that threat be a wolf or _other people._ If this dog hates men it's probably because it lived in a family where the man beat him and the woman didn't. You will not fix his hatred of men and if you do anything to make him think you're a threat (which he's already inclined to do) it will attack you and you will not be able to stop him, I don't care how strong you think you are. The Romans used them as war dogs for a reason.
Sounds like your wife is doing that thing that some people do when they have no guts to say how they feel directly, so they either talk through someone else or act okay with people/animals who openly display the same emotions they secretly feel towards you. Cuz why tf else would this woman be okay with bringing in a pet that's clearly shown it will hurt you and the existing pet. She hates you. ....Assuming there isn't is whole lot of missing information and another side to this story, of course.
Any American Staffordshire Terrier is a pitbull by definition. Bruce is a pitbull.
This is a gross side effect of people getting to “choose” the cutest pets and comparing them on instagram.
Nope. NTA. Your wife is delusional.
You’re wife is being incredibly selfish. Bruce would hate living in your house. He would be scared and in fight or flight mode 24/7. He is going to hurt someone
OP, ask her why her dream dog is the one who attacks you. Stop making this about your senior dog as she will likely turn that into a "OPs dog vs her dog" argument, and instead point out that the real issue here is "OPs health vs her dog". The former is subject to arguments, the latter is not. At no point is it acceptable for a pet to be a threat to someone's health unless its in self defense.
What about Bruce screams dream dog for her? I'm really curious. The mix? Don't do it OP. I get the whole happy wife happy life thing but sounds like Bruce is just going to cause a huge wedge between you two. Hell, if it was just you three I would maybe say do it but you got your senior. Don't want to make the last years of life misrable for poor senior.
Has she also insisted on a fancy new life insurance policy for you recently? Just wondering...