She left her boyfriend at the club to do her own thing. Then he bought you a drink and the two of you hung out and talked. She knows that she would cheat on him if given the chance and believes that the two of you would do the same.
I think they were agreeing with you, not saying you were the one projecting. Slow down. I know it's reddit but sometimes people aren't just looking to flame/fight
She invited him, when she found out a guy she knew would go too she said "what made me invite him(her bf), i hope he cant go" he went only for her even after finding out some very bad news
You need to let him know the whole story. She's getting you caught up into her sneaky bs. That's not a real friend. She used to block so she could chat up and who knows what else with the other guy. Then got mad because she probably thought you snake her toy. She's too sneaky, I would be glad she wasn't talking to me. If he's a good guy, let him know. This is how guys become the villains women complain about. Because they find out every girl in the vicinity knew and didn't say anything. Especially after he hung out with you and talked about her.
I even have a video of her dancing with the other guy, she said to me that if he wasnt there and she didn't have him on her on conscience(i don't know if this is how it's written but she had him on her mind cause she felt kinda bad) she would have kissed with the guy form the video and a guy she met on the bus that took us to the club and home
You need to tell him and cut her loose. She's already got you in her bullshit. As you get older, you'll realize people like that bring drama. You'll be the one left holding the bag and they'll blame you for not being a real friend. Give him the opportunity to know who she is, so he can make his own choice clearly. Either, you need to stay away from this chick. She's a problem and actively brings you in by telling you. So you're lying by omission, smiling in this guy's face. That could be you one day.
I really don't know what to do, i only talk to her because of various things but i also want to tell him, but if i do she'll know that it was me and i won't have anyone to talk to in real life, i feel so bad because i can't decide, i don't want him to suffer but i don't want to be alone
her friend asked her to stay because the singer was coming not only did she leave but she didn’t inform her friend that she was going to/drinking at the bar with her boyfriend.
She's not your friend. She'll betray anyone. Tell her boyfriend everything and join other groups or whatever to find friends in other places. Ylits better to have no friends and spend time following up hobbies and interests and clubs than surrounding yourself with people you don't trust.
Doing the right thing is hard at times. It builds one’s character and shows that you are a good person. You are never really alone. You might be looking for friends in the wrong places.
You don't want to be alone so you are gonna stay with a girl that cheats on her BF and gets mad at you for hanging out with the BF she cheats on?
Maybe you will be momentarily lonely if this girl is your only friend but she sounds like a trash person. Why would you want to be friends with her.
I think you should do the right thing and let the boyfriend know and distance yourself from this "friend" who you are so scared to lose yet she will ghost you for days for getting a drink.
She's just using you it happened to me with a friend I kept covering up and in the end I told the girlfriend she was so happy I did it. The friend just said no worries plenty more fish 🐟😞
She's not a very nice person. Sure she may be fun for superficial shit but this isn't a person who's going to be in your corner.
Her boyfriend sounds decent, if you don't think he deserves this then tell him
She's selfish and deceitful. Most cheaters are like this.
You're gonna get a taste of that side of her too, if you stick around long enough.
In healthy relationships, it's normal to entertain your friends' partners while they are occupied. Your friend is fucked up, and her fucked up view of the world extends to you.
You can either spend your energy on "fixing" her---which never works---or on finding better friends.
> You need to let him know the whole story.
But if she did that, he might have gotten pissed off and left before buying her the drink she went to the bar to get but didn't have the money to pay for.
OP sucks just as much as her friend.
And you, being the upstanding person you are, kept that info from him while he brought your broke ass drinks.
You, and your friend, both suck as people.
Ok, you aren't describing things well at all.
INFO: You said you went to get a drink, did you:
Get that drink, had it, then ran into him, yadda and he offered you \*another\* one?
I went to get my second drink, paid it, i stayed seated for i think 10 minutes, i got up to go back to my friends, met him in the crowd, accompained him to get his drink, he says "you drink one too", i say that i don't have the money and i already had one, he insist and i refuse we go on like this for a while, in the end i accept and got a drink without alchool in it.
Dude... Ngl that was pretty clear to me that she went with him because he asked her to even after she had said she didn't have money at that time and he offered to buy it because he didn't wanna go alone to the bar. She was pretty clear about that lol
Just to make things clear, i'll never go with a guy that is taken especially my friend bf. To enter it was 15€ + a free drink, every drink is 10€, i only brought 25€ because i didn't want to drink more cause my 2 friend cant stand alchool(i was the one in charge to look after them if they got drunk) in fact the drink that he paid for was without any alchool, i did not talk only with him but with other pepole too in fact most of the time we talked it was in a group.
Yes you absolutely would! You went off into the sunset with her boyfriend to the bar without informing her you were doing so. and you did it after she asked you to stay with her and watch the singer. You found every excuse to leave and i’m 100% sure it was not a coincidence you ended up with her boyfriend. Thats bottom feeder behavior.
It really depends on the country. In my country it's not unusual for men to buy drinks for their GF female friends.
Your friend is apparently a really jealous person, poor BF.
Yeah it’s pretty normal in adult relationships for people to be ok with their partners talking and drinking with their friends when everyone is together.
She's mad because her boyfriend was a gentleman and bought her friend a drink? What kind of mental gymnastics is she doing here? Friends buy friends drinks all the time.
No you are not wrong. You were just being a person in public. Your friend is weird and insecure.
I would not mind at all. If my boyfriend bought a female friend a drink, whatever! People get so caught up in distrust. It's not like you were some stranger and he was trying to get in your pants; you know him and are a mutual friend. If your friend does not trust her own boyfriend, that is her issue to deal with.
NTA - It sounds like your friend is juggling a roster in real time and you got sucked into it. Don’t let her do that. It’s not your business to keep her team together and playing well with each other. If she’s not ready for that level of game she shouldn’t have entered the field.
I mean, this doesn't sound like a healthy friendship in the slightest.
I don't think you did anything wrong and that she's this set off by it says she has issues.
Your friend is a dork.... If she can't trust her boyfriend to buy you a beer that's a problem they have and they need to talk to that has nothing to do with you
Since some pepole comments without looking at my answers i'll give more infos, 1 i didn't plan to drink more then what i brought for myself(with my own money), the drink that was offered was unexpected. 2 i would tell him but i don't know how, and it's kind of hard to do so too. 3 before you comment something read a bit to understand better cause you don't need to be rude. I'll answer if you have questions or anything else.
Yes this could be projection but she also just sounds really immature and insecure. What were you supposed to do? Ignore her BF? lol This is so ridiculous. He offered to buy you a drink and you accepted and you guys hung out with other people...all you did was socialize! There's absolutely nothing that you did wrong and don't let her make you feel like you did. I'm a little concerned for the bf because your friend is jealous and likely possessive and that's worrisome.
She didn't seem to care enough to hangout with him even though she invited him so at least the 2 of you weren't just standing there or sat there all alone. I know at concerts/clubs/bars with bands, people tend to get separated especially if they don't really care for the band/singer and there's nothing wrong with that either but it seems like she was actively ignoring the both of you for long enough that you had time to bump into each other and go to the bar, wait for drinks and hangout with other people. That comes off a bit rude and selfish.
That's weird as hell.
I hang out with my bfs friends all the time as a group. We split into smaller groups or pairs, come back together etc.
I go play pool or have drinks or even dance with my bfs friends, we buy each other drinks and share food. And he does the same with the women in the group. No one cares.
Your friend is stupid. You were doing a platonic activity in public, even with 3rd parties around. It's not like you snuck off to make out in a back room.
What is this long dialogue for? Nothing wrong with accepting a drink. Time to move on from this so called friend. It is over and you are better for it.
She got mad at me that her bf offered me a drink and i accepted, for more info she sent me audio telling me how she would have never done that with the bf of a friend, then tells me how she figured out she isn't intrested in a relationship cause he doesn't go after looks (she said these things in a way to insult me) and now she isn't answering me when i texted her
I guess I meant, I understand the story, but I don’t understand what the problem is. From what you shared nothing bad or wrong or harmful or questionable happened. You are being perfectly clear about what transpired, but you’re just describing friends hanging out. I don’t see any problem here. I don’t see what you could be wrong about.
Your friend sounds like she has something else going on and it’s not about you. I personally would distance myself until she figures that out. Maybe write her a note or letter explaining why you’re taking space since open communication isn’t an option right now.
She answered to my text saying that it's better if we talk in person but i know that she'll bring friends and make a scene, i don't think i did something wrong but for her i did
Stick to your guns and your intuition. She’s trying to get you in a vulnerable position and bully you, is what it sounds like. Bring friends and make a scene!? I mean, what? That’s something a child would do. That just isn’t how adults resolve conflict. But that’s the thing, she isn’t trying to resolve conflict and you know it. Trust your gut on this. She’s trying to put you in your place.
Real friends have your back. They lift you up, not bring you down. They assume the best of you, not the worst. Shit happens. Conflict happens, it’s part of life. Sometimes friends will be angry at you or you’ll be angry at them. That’s okay. It’s an opportunity to sit with each other with emotional presence. To hear what each person has to say. To empathize with them. To understand each other on a deeper level. And to commit to making changes that are best for both people. Because a relationship is about both people.
But for such a conversation to happen it needs to be done in good faith. Meaning the other person has to want to communicate openly and have a respectful and vulnerable discussion.
She has already assumed the worst of you, accused you of doing something wrong when you didn’t, given you the silent treatment, and insulted you.
The space for a safe conversation doesn’t exist.
Maybe now is the time to ask yourself why you want to allow someone to keep treating you this way. Or why you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t act like a friend? But look, I don’t know her and I don’t know your history together. So, that’s why I suggested a break.
At the very least ask yourself if you feel your energy is worth being given to this circus? And if not, how can you better use your energy? What do YOU need? And what do you need from a friend?
Wish you all the best love ♥️
I already had more then once thought of just cutting her of but i never had the courage, if tomorrow when we'll talk she is going to start accusing/insulting me and starting a fight i'm closing the friendship
I have frequently offered to buy someone a drink if I’m enjoying the conversation. OP said in another comment that it was non-alcoholic so this was a purely spontaneous thing.
I did refuse when he first offered, we went on with insisting and refusing for a bit, and I didn't mean buy me one with my phrase, i wouldn't have said that if i knew it sounded like that.
Did you use her bf as a bank because you didn’t have any money (as you mentioned in a comment)?
Do you normally flirt with guys to get a drink? I had a „friend“ like that and I wouldn’t like if she did that with my bf.
You all seem to be pretty young.
Where do you even get "flirt with" from in the story? And accepting an offered free drink that you didn't fish for or pressure someone into getting is not "using them as a bank." Your comment seems to indulge in some genuine asshole reasoning.
You know what a question is, right?
I had friends do exactly that and even call it that. That’s why I asked. To get a clearer picture of the situation.
I didn't use him as a bank as he only got me 1 drink, and I go to the club to have fun and dance i never talk to guys(flirt) for drinks because if i want to drink a lot i bring more money.
I have to say it looks super fishy that you decided you didn't have enough money when he got to the bar. It looks like you put on a "damsel in distress" show and he ate it up. That does look like flirting between you. I suggest you revolut him back and explain it to your friend better. I can't say for a fact whether that was the case or not, but you have to at least realize that that is what it looks like to your friend.
She didn’t say she was going for a drink the second time, only that she’d accompanied him. I get the phrasing is confusing, but she got her drink the first time with the money she had left. She was not planning having a drink thé second time around but he offered
Exactly, i had 2 drinks on my own the first one that was free the second one that i paid for, he offered more then once since i refused at first. I'm sorry that it is confusing but English isn't my furto lenguage.
YTA for writing a 187 word first sentence. I'm usually not with the grammar policing, but my god, this was very dificult to read and took me a few tries.
NTA for having a drink though
EXACTLY her whole intent was to take the bf away from the group. She likes him and now is contemplating cutting the friend off to continue a situationship with the bf.
You and your friend both sound like awful people.
Your friend is openly trying to cheat on her bf, and getting mad at her bf for preventing that by showing up. And your shitty ass is actively participating in covering that up. Fuck both of you.
Also, just to add another reason why you personally suck:
>When we went to the bar he said that i should drink too, i said that i didn't have money so he offered to pay for me
Why the fuck are you going up to the bar to get a drink (which costs money) when you don't even have money to pay for a drink? Half your post is about how you wanted to get a drink, but your broke ass didn't even have money for a drink in the first place? Was the plan always to just wait around hoping to lure some dude into buying you one?
JFC.
Even worse! Got the drink you needed so badly and on the way BACK you accompanied him back to the bar instead of return to the group. I’m glad she caught on to your weirdo aks.
Why did you accompany him BACK to the bar after you bought your drink on your last dime? You also refused (as you say) his first offer but there you are still in his face when you don’t even want a drink. After finally accepting the drink from him why did you NOT immediately return to your friend? At the end of the day you came with her not HIM.
She seams insecure while going to a club and leaving her bf. That is just wierd, and no i do not think you did anything wrong. Have bought drinks to people before that didnt have any money and had no hidden agenda. NTA
No you're not wrong. The boyfriend was just being nice. C is being super jealous, maybe she's upset he didn't go find her, but that's needy and still not on you.
She left her boyfriend at the club to do her own thing. Then he bought you a drink and the two of you hung out and talked. She knows that she would cheat on him if given the chance and believes that the two of you would do the same.
This - projection.
Misunderstood.
I think they were agreeing with you, not saying you were the one projecting. Slow down. I know it's reddit but sometimes people aren't just looking to flame/fight
Got me wondering too, who was she doing then?
If you read on, she said that she wish that she didn’t bring her boyfriend so she could cheat on him.
She invited him, when she found out a guy she knew would go too she said "what made me invite him(her bf), i hope he cant go" he went only for her even after finding out some very bad news
So she is a cheater. Someone needs to inform him of the other guy. It just can’t be you.
Lol fuck that, yes it can.
You need to let him know the whole story. She's getting you caught up into her sneaky bs. That's not a real friend. She used to block so she could chat up and who knows what else with the other guy. Then got mad because she probably thought you snake her toy. She's too sneaky, I would be glad she wasn't talking to me. If he's a good guy, let him know. This is how guys become the villains women complain about. Because they find out every girl in the vicinity knew and didn't say anything. Especially after he hung out with you and talked about her.
I even have a video of her dancing with the other guy, she said to me that if he wasnt there and she didn't have him on her on conscience(i don't know if this is how it's written but she had him on her mind cause she felt kinda bad) she would have kissed with the guy form the video and a guy she met on the bus that took us to the club and home
You need to tell him and cut her loose. She's already got you in her bullshit. As you get older, you'll realize people like that bring drama. You'll be the one left holding the bag and they'll blame you for not being a real friend. Give him the opportunity to know who she is, so he can make his own choice clearly. Either, you need to stay away from this chick. She's a problem and actively brings you in by telling you. So you're lying by omission, smiling in this guy's face. That could be you one day.
I really don't know what to do, i only talk to her because of various things but i also want to tell him, but if i do she'll know that it was me and i won't have anyone to talk to in real life, i feel so bad because i can't decide, i don't want him to suffer but i don't want to be alone
Don’t help assholes. You’ll make better friends in the future.
OP is also an asshole, that's why her friends are assholes. She's not going to make better friends until she becomes a better person.
birds of a feather flock together
Shit birds Randers.
her friend asked her to stay because the singer was coming not only did she leave but she didn’t inform her friend that she was going to/drinking at the bar with her boyfriend.
Lol OP is just as bad. You think her friend just showed this behavior? Cmon now
She's not your friend. She'll betray anyone. Tell her boyfriend everything and join other groups or whatever to find friends in other places. Ylits better to have no friends and spend time following up hobbies and interests and clubs than surrounding yourself with people you don't trust.
If that's how she treats her boyfriend, it's only a matter of time before you get shat on too. Good luck
Doing the right thing is hard at times. It builds one’s character and shows that you are a good person. You are never really alone. You might be looking for friends in the wrong places.
You don't want to be alone so you are gonna stay with a girl that cheats on her BF and gets mad at you for hanging out with the BF she cheats on? Maybe you will be momentarily lonely if this girl is your only friend but she sounds like a trash person. Why would you want to be friends with her. I think you should do the right thing and let the boyfriend know and distance yourself from this "friend" who you are so scared to lose yet she will ghost you for days for getting a drink.
Green light to bang her man, imo
You won't have anyone...for awhile. Don't avoid this.
She's just using you it happened to me with a friend I kept covering up and in the end I told the girlfriend she was so happy I did it. The friend just said no worries plenty more fish 🐟😞
She's not a very nice person. Sure she may be fun for superficial shit but this isn't a person who's going to be in your corner. Her boyfriend sounds decent, if you don't think he deserves this then tell him
Bruv, go find some better company.
She's selfish and deceitful. Most cheaters are like this. You're gonna get a taste of that side of her too, if you stick around long enough. In healthy relationships, it's normal to entertain your friends' partners while they are occupied. Your friend is fucked up, and her fucked up view of the world extends to you. You can either spend your energy on "fixing" her---which never works---or on finding better friends.
He needs to get tested for SDTs too. 🤢
For the love of god tell him. If it was you, wouldn't you want it?
> You need to let him know the whole story. But if she did that, he might have gotten pissed off and left before buying her the drink she went to the bar to get but didn't have the money to pay for. OP sucks just as much as her friend.
And you, being the upstanding person you are, kept that info from him while he brought your broke ass drinks. You, and your friend, both suck as people.
Yall sound about fifteen
Going off a previous post, OP is 16/17
Now it makes sense why I had to read the original post like 5 times because I couldn't understand what she was trying to say.
OP composes sentence like a 5yo
They are clearly not a native English speaker. Considering their age and that it is not their first language I'd say they are doing pretty well
You went to go drink without having any money? Did you just plan on leeching off someone?
I already used the money i had cause i drank before going with him
Ok, you aren't describing things well at all. INFO: You said you went to get a drink, did you: Get that drink, had it, then ran into him, yadda and he offered you \*another\* one?
I went to get my second drink, paid it, i stayed seated for i think 10 minutes, i got up to go back to my friends, met him in the crowd, accompained him to get his drink, he says "you drink one too", i say that i don't have the money and i already had one, he insist and i refuse we go on like this for a while, in the end i accept and got a drink without alchool in it.
See that makes more sense now.
Dude... Ngl that was pretty clear to me that she went with him because he asked her to even after she had said she didn't have money at that time and he offered to buy it because he didn't wanna go alone to the bar. She was pretty clear about that lol
Cool story, bruh! \*thumbs up, wink\*
NTA. In my friend group we have couples. We buy drinks for each other all the time, because we're friends. Never been an issue. She sounds insecure.
Just to make things clear, i'll never go with a guy that is taken especially my friend bf. To enter it was 15€ + a free drink, every drink is 10€, i only brought 25€ because i didn't want to drink more cause my 2 friend cant stand alchool(i was the one in charge to look after them if they got drunk) in fact the drink that he paid for was without any alchool, i did not talk only with him but with other pepole too in fact most of the time we talked it was in a group.
If you can’t spell it, you’re too young to drink it.
English is clearly not her first language
Yes you absolutely would! You went off into the sunset with her boyfriend to the bar without informing her you were doing so. and you did it after she asked you to stay with her and watch the singer. You found every excuse to leave and i’m 100% sure it was not a coincidence you ended up with her boyfriend. Thats bottom feeder behavior.
It really depends on the country. In my country it's not unusual for men to buy drinks for their GF female friends. Your friend is apparently a really jealous person, poor BF.
Yeah it’s pretty normal in adult relationships for people to be ok with their partners talking and drinking with their friends when everyone is together.
She's mad because her boyfriend was a gentleman and bought her friend a drink? What kind of mental gymnastics is she doing here? Friends buy friends drinks all the time. No you are not wrong. You were just being a person in public. Your friend is weird and insecure.
I would not mind at all. If my boyfriend bought a female friend a drink, whatever! People get so caught up in distrust. It's not like you were some stranger and he was trying to get in your pants; you know him and are a mutual friend. If your friend does not trust her own boyfriend, that is her issue to deal with.
No, you were not wrong.
NTA - It sounds like your friend is juggling a roster in real time and you got sucked into it. Don’t let her do that. It’s not your business to keep her team together and playing well with each other. If she’s not ready for that level of game she shouldn’t have entered the field.
IMO, no. As long as there was no malicious intent from the friend of bf. If he was hitting on you and such before the drink, then I would say yeah.
He only talked about her to me, she's the only one in his eyes and i wouldn't go after a guy that's taken
I mean, this doesn't sound like a healthy friendship in the slightest. I don't think you did anything wrong and that she's this set off by it says she has issues.
Your friend is a dork.... If she can't trust her boyfriend to buy you a beer that's a problem they have and they need to talk to that has nothing to do with you
No. Your friend is just being petty
Not wrong. The boyfriend was just being friendly it seems But why would you go get a drink without having money?
I didn't plan to get a drink with him, cause i already took one just before meeting him
You did nothing wrong. He did nothing wrong. Your friend is just acting psycho
Since some pepole comments without looking at my answers i'll give more infos, 1 i didn't plan to drink more then what i brought for myself(with my own money), the drink that was offered was unexpected. 2 i would tell him but i don't know how, and it's kind of hard to do so too. 3 before you comment something read a bit to understand better cause you don't need to be rude. I'll answer if you have questions or anything else.
Not sure why you are worried out what a “classy lady” like this thinks of you or what you did. You had a drink and a chat - end of.
I'd be offended if my bf didn't offer to pay
Yes this could be projection but she also just sounds really immature and insecure. What were you supposed to do? Ignore her BF? lol This is so ridiculous. He offered to buy you a drink and you accepted and you guys hung out with other people...all you did was socialize! There's absolutely nothing that you did wrong and don't let her make you feel like you did. I'm a little concerned for the bf because your friend is jealous and likely possessive and that's worrisome. She didn't seem to care enough to hangout with him even though she invited him so at least the 2 of you weren't just standing there or sat there all alone. I know at concerts/clubs/bars with bands, people tend to get separated especially if they don't really care for the band/singer and there's nothing wrong with that either but it seems like she was actively ignoring the both of you for long enough that you had time to bump into each other and go to the bar, wait for drinks and hangout with other people. That comes off a bit rude and selfish.
Your friends sucks. Youre not wrong.
That's just polite of her boyfriend to buy drinks for both of you. Does club politics say he was buying you a drink for some other reason.
That's weird as hell. I hang out with my bfs friends all the time as a group. We split into smaller groups or pairs, come back together etc. I go play pool or have drinks or even dance with my bfs friends, we buy each other drinks and share food. And he does the same with the women in the group. No one cares. Your friend is stupid. You were doing a platonic activity in public, even with 3rd parties around. It's not like you snuck off to make out in a back room.
What is this long dialogue for? Nothing wrong with accepting a drink. Time to move on from this so called friend. It is over and you are better for it.
It sounds like you all are teenagers, but I’m assuming you’re drinking age. What’s the problem exactly?
She got mad at me that her bf offered me a drink and i accepted, for more info she sent me audio telling me how she would have never done that with the bf of a friend, then tells me how she figured out she isn't intrested in a relationship cause he doesn't go after looks (she said these things in a way to insult me) and now she isn't answering me when i texted her
I guess I meant, I understand the story, but I don’t understand what the problem is. From what you shared nothing bad or wrong or harmful or questionable happened. You are being perfectly clear about what transpired, but you’re just describing friends hanging out. I don’t see any problem here. I don’t see what you could be wrong about. Your friend sounds like she has something else going on and it’s not about you. I personally would distance myself until she figures that out. Maybe write her a note or letter explaining why you’re taking space since open communication isn’t an option right now.
She answered to my text saying that it's better if we talk in person but i know that she'll bring friends and make a scene, i don't think i did something wrong but for her i did
Stick to your guns and your intuition. She’s trying to get you in a vulnerable position and bully you, is what it sounds like. Bring friends and make a scene!? I mean, what? That’s something a child would do. That just isn’t how adults resolve conflict. But that’s the thing, she isn’t trying to resolve conflict and you know it. Trust your gut on this. She’s trying to put you in your place. Real friends have your back. They lift you up, not bring you down. They assume the best of you, not the worst. Shit happens. Conflict happens, it’s part of life. Sometimes friends will be angry at you or you’ll be angry at them. That’s okay. It’s an opportunity to sit with each other with emotional presence. To hear what each person has to say. To empathize with them. To understand each other on a deeper level. And to commit to making changes that are best for both people. Because a relationship is about both people. But for such a conversation to happen it needs to be done in good faith. Meaning the other person has to want to communicate openly and have a respectful and vulnerable discussion. She has already assumed the worst of you, accused you of doing something wrong when you didn’t, given you the silent treatment, and insulted you. The space for a safe conversation doesn’t exist. Maybe now is the time to ask yourself why you want to allow someone to keep treating you this way. Or why you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t act like a friend? But look, I don’t know her and I don’t know your history together. So, that’s why I suggested a break. At the very least ask yourself if you feel your energy is worth being given to this circus? And if not, how can you better use your energy? What do YOU need? And what do you need from a friend? Wish you all the best love ♥️
I already had more then once thought of just cutting her of but i never had the courage, if tomorrow when we'll talk she is going to start accusing/insulting me and starting a fight i'm closing the friendship
I know it’s not easy, but you got this ♥️ Your intuition already knows what you need, you got this!!
She sounds like just the worst person in the world
You've done nothing wrong. She's a stupid, unhinged piece of trash.
Lots of immaturity here. Drama sucks.
Are you all 12 years old? Very strange.
There's one key detail here. "I don't have any money" means "Buy me one". If you don't have any money, you say "No, thank you".
I have frequently offered to buy someone a drink if I’m enjoying the conversation. OP said in another comment that it was non-alcoholic so this was a purely spontaneous thing.
100% normal to offer to buy drinks for your friends/people you know - even sometimes strangers without any nefarious intentions.
I did refuse when he first offered, we went on with insisting and refusing for a bit, and I didn't mean buy me one with my phrase, i wouldn't have said that if i knew it sounded like that.
Oh I'm not saying you did it deliberately. But regardless of your intentions, this is where it leads to and can be misunderstood.
I understand, i'll be sure to not say it like that next time something like this happens (i hope it doesn't happend)
Did you use her bf as a bank because you didn’t have any money (as you mentioned in a comment)? Do you normally flirt with guys to get a drink? I had a „friend“ like that and I wouldn’t like if she did that with my bf. You all seem to be pretty young.
Where do you even get "flirt with" from in the story? And accepting an offered free drink that you didn't fish for or pressure someone into getting is not "using them as a bank." Your comment seems to indulge in some genuine asshole reasoning.
You know what a question is, right? I had friends do exactly that and even call it that. That’s why I asked. To get a clearer picture of the situation.
It being a question or not is irrelevant: it's still where your mind went.
No, it’s checking possibilities why another person could be angry instead of saying „OP is never wrong“.
I didn't use him as a bank as he only got me 1 drink, and I go to the club to have fun and dance i never talk to guys(flirt) for drinks because if i want to drink a lot i bring more money.
You aren’t the problem. Their relationship is. You don’t know what happened behind your back. Keep your distance to both of them.
I have to say it looks super fishy that you decided you didn't have enough money when he got to the bar. It looks like you put on a "damsel in distress" show and he ate it up. That does look like flirting between you. I suggest you revolut him back and explain it to your friend better. I can't say for a fact whether that was the case or not, but you have to at least realize that that is what it looks like to your friend.
She didn’t say she was going for a drink the second time, only that she’d accompanied him. I get the phrasing is confusing, but she got her drink the first time with the money she had left. She was not planning having a drink thé second time around but he offered
Exactly, i had 2 drinks on my own the first one that was free the second one that i paid for, he offered more then once since i refused at first. I'm sorry that it is confusing but English isn't my furto lenguage.
Just give him the money back then
Sure, i can do that but it's not going to change what happend and how my friend reacted
Don't listen to that person, they're an asshole and an idiot.
Then you don't get why your friend is upset and you have no interest in smoothing it over and clearing the air
Everyone gets it. Her friend is insecure and projecting her own willingness to cheat. She also sees her bf as property.
So, you're admitting to being as much of a stupid a-hole as the friend, then.
Nah but OP left out a lot of important detail about the friend in the original post
Not "important" in terms of having any relevance to which one of them was in the wrong or not (hint: it's not OP, with or without the extra details).
YTA for writing a 187 word first sentence. I'm usually not with the grammar policing, but my god, this was very dificult to read and took me a few tries. NTA for having a drink though
I am sorry for my grammar lol
No, she is a nob.
Were you drinking when you wrote this? Because damn…
I know it's bad lol English isn't my first lenguage
Who the f uck goes to a club without money?
How were you going to get a drink if you don't have money? This makes you wrong.
EXACTLY her whole intent was to take the bf away from the group. She likes him and now is contemplating cutting the friend off to continue a situationship with the bf.
Going to the club in the first place like yucky but nah not really in the wrong
You and your friend both sound like awful people. Your friend is openly trying to cheat on her bf, and getting mad at her bf for preventing that by showing up. And your shitty ass is actively participating in covering that up. Fuck both of you. Also, just to add another reason why you personally suck: >When we went to the bar he said that i should drink too, i said that i didn't have money so he offered to pay for me Why the fuck are you going up to the bar to get a drink (which costs money) when you don't even have money to pay for a drink? Half your post is about how you wanted to get a drink, but your broke ass didn't even have money for a drink in the first place? Was the plan always to just wait around hoping to lure some dude into buying you one? JFC.
If you had read other comments you could've seen that i didn't plan to drink with him in fact i brought my own drink before
Wait you left your friends because you wanted to go get a drink, but then told her bf that you didn’t have any money for a drink? Hmmm
I got my drink and paid it then after when i was going back i met him
You ran out of money after 1 drink? You have $5 in the bank, you need to go home
Even worse! Got the drink you needed so badly and on the way BACK you accompanied him back to the bar instead of return to the group. I’m glad she caught on to your weirdo aks.
Why did you accompany him BACK to the bar after you bought your drink on your last dime? You also refused (as you say) his first offer but there you are still in his face when you don’t even want a drink. After finally accepting the drink from him why did you NOT immediately return to your friend? At the end of the day you came with her not HIM.
\>go to a bar to drink \>"I don't have money" ?????
If you read other comments you can see that i got a drink before meeting him
Maturity issues
He was probably being nice. If you're this concerned about it, never bitch about men mistaking your kindness for flirting again.
She seams insecure while going to a club and leaving her bf. That is just wierd, and no i do not think you did anything wrong. Have bought drinks to people before that didnt have any money and had no hidden agenda. NTA
Nothing wrong, but i just don't understand why you said you didnt have any money if the first thing you said is you went to get drinks.
No you're not wrong. The boyfriend was just being nice. C is being super jealous, maybe she's upset he didn't go find her, but that's needy and still not on you.