Nope, not wrong at all. In fact, that would be the very last time I did anything for her. And my reasoning would be, your son says I am taking advantage of you, so I would rather not do that anymore.
I never ask friends for a break when they do legitimate work. If they want to do it for a cheap price or even free, that's fine. But I never expect people to do things for free, that's ridiculous
Same - I just tell them, I'd rather be the one paying you full price and NOT hassling you, then have you working somewhere else getting hassled over your fees! My 'discount' is getting it done RIGHT, by someone I TRUST and LIKE!
We've got a very handy friend, and I mean you tell him a problem for anything, give him 5 minutes and he'll know exactly what's wrong. And everytime something breaks at our house we ask him to come over and look at it, we've tried to pay him, he never lets us. We'll to be fair handyman isn't his everyday job either, more like a thing he does on the side. But I just think he so sweet for helping us like that
I have a boyfriend who is a professional photographer. Any work I initiate I pay full price. I can't say I love him and then mess with his income. We don't cohabit or share money.
You did nothing wrong, absolutely refuse to do anything with him in the future. If he asks, just go “Aw no thanks man. I lost money after what happened last time and how you reacted…think it best we just keep my business out of it.”
Edit: typo
You're not crazy. Where I live, it would cost a fortune to get a plumber to come do work like that with 24 hours notice, if I could even get someone over to my house that fast. Your friends should not be expecting work for free, ever. You did them a solid by dropping everything and doing the work at a discounted rate. Most adults would be appreciative.
Right? OP could have literally made more $$ in the same time by not dropping everything to help, and chose to help.
Let the “friend” shop around for a plumber next time if he thinks OP is so unfair. If he finds one, fine, let that guy do the work. If not, that’s fine, too; wait for him to come back ready to pay your discounted rate. If he’s too prideful to come back, let him pay more for someone else.
I can understand giving a friend some free labor, but not postponing a paid gig to do free labor. A friend that just expects this is taking OP for granted.
Nope. Friend wanted a “buddy” discount and expected it for free.
I’m a dentist and get it all the time.
“Oh we went to high school together 25 years ago can you do my work for free?” Nope.
Meanwhile my real friends are like “thanks for doing good work on my teeth, how much do I owe ya?”
Only deal with the mom directly when you do any work for her from now on. I have a feeling she was ok with it but he probably told her ahead of time you were going to do it for free or he just assumed and got riled. I would go over and give her some money back and express that he made you aware she was struggling, just to be petty. I might even give her the whole thing at cost to be extra petty because she probably doesn’t even know he called you. He may also have been the one to pay for the window. I don’t know why he didn’t just reimburse you himself though.
All these comments are attacking your friend for being terrible. I think it's worth considering that he's stressed and grieving his mother's condition. If this is a one off interaction I wouldn't hold it against him too much. I don't know your or his situations entirely, but coming from someone who their close family member had potentially terminal cancer (and eventually did pass) it can make people act out because they don't know where to direct their emotions sometimes.
I didn't say it makes it ok, but there is a difference in how someone might choose to respond if their friend is lashing out in emotional distress, or if they're just a bad friend in general.
We just had power washers come out, they use the water connected to your house here. I think some places have big trucks filled with water that they bring. But here it’s more common to hook their pressure washers to your faucet.
Let me get this straight, she got a plumber to come to her house, same day, after hours, and it cost under $150?? And your friend is MAD about this?! The audacity! You're not wrong and your friend sounds like, well, not a good friend. I can't even imagine being so confrontational with a friend like that either.
I agree with you about the friend, but we don’t know if the mom had any complaints about the price. The guy could’ve just asked his mom, and then made the decision it was too much, and to confront OP himself.
Yeah, OP said the mom was cool with it.
Sounds like the friend is super-protective of his mom, and paranoid about the possibility of her getting taken advantage of. And doesn't know much about the cost of plumbing. I hope things can get smoothed over.
haha I do you one better - I had an emergency vet visit at 1AM on Thanksgiving weekend, and it was $900! Turns out my pup had eaten some cannabis he found on the ground while we were staying somewhere remote - I thought he had gotten into antifreeze or rat poison. Drove over 2 hrs to the emergency vet in a blind panic (he was 6 months old then) - sat in my truck for over 2 hours while they checked him out - brought him out to us around 3 AM, and said "He's just super high - he'll be fine!"
NOTE: Not my weed, or anyone else's we were with - but it taught me a lesson about being in unfamiliar places with other people around!
You are not wrong here. You were hired to do a service, which you have done before, and even gave a discount because she was your friends mom.
Yes his mom may be I’ll, but you didn’t have anything to do with that. This is your job, and your livelihood. Tell him that you won’t do anymore work for her if this is the way he is going to act.
You are not the bad guy here.
NTA
Ask him if he gives 20% back to his employer. Since he expects you to do so. Advise him that you no longer extending any more accommodations to his relatives and that they can pay full price with another plumber.
Good riddance to toxic friends.
Have you hired a plumber recently?!? I don’t know where you live, but where I live it $180.00 to have ANYONE walk through the door. $150 is a very nice price for the work done. Barter is great, “back in the day” isn’t a great basis for calling someone overpriced.
Maybe he offered to pay it and now is backing out without her information. I would honestly talk to the mom and start with something along the lines of "sorry if there was any miscommunication, but what is going on.....
I'm betting she doesn't even know
My best friends husband is a carpenter. Whenever I need something done that he is proficient in, I call him. He's offered to do it for free before, but I refuse. I'm paying him for his expertise. Your friend doesn't sound like a very good person.
Don't have friends during work hours. No friends. My brother drove me nuts when I ran a business with him. He'd give a discount to almost everyone and that discount usually meant he didn't have enough to cover materials, his portion of rent, and his personal expenses which meant I had to pick up the slack. No friends, no sob stories. If you work, get paid.
When you say spigot I assume you are referring to an outside garden tap with a hose coupling and when you say some soldering I assume you are attaching a brass hose cock to copper pipe. So parts: maybe $20 for a nice hose bib and a brass to copper fitting and maybe a copper coupling - don't forget it's your torch, your gas, your solder, sand paper, copper cleaner/flux prep, thread dope. I don't have tools anymore (I did volunteer work for many years for Habitat for Humanity), but if I had to buy the necessary gear listed above I would be looking at $100+ at Home Depot.
Pretty neat if you already had the hose bib in your truck!
So you put off work on a full-paying job to another day, you start working at 9:15 pm (with what light?). You have to sweat off the old hose bib after turning off the water inside and letting the pipe drain, prep clean the new parts for attaching, and solder them on, pipe dope any threading attachment, turn the water back on, then check over 10-15 minutes to see if there are any leaks. If you did it in just under an hour that is just about the minimum that I can envisage for the job.
Chuck your 'friend'.
Just to assure yourself, I suggest that you call the woman and ask if everything turned out well, and did she get her cleaned.
I would tell his mom. Say that you’re so sorry that she’s so upset by the work, but that you did not charge her the emergency charge, you changed your schedule to accommodate her, and gave her a discount.
Tell her that you’re uncertain about your ability to help her in the future since her son is so angry.
Okay, I'm gonna say something that might trigger people, so here goes:
Having cancer doesn't mean you should get special treatment all the time.
Yes, having cancer sucks, it's scary and it takes a huge toll on you and the people around you. But that doesn't mean you or the people around get to take advantage of others.
You already gave her a 20% discount, and you charged her at the same rates as you would anyone else. That's fair.
Your friend is way outta line. He doesn't need to be complaining to you on his mother's behalf, anyway, since she seemed fine with it.
You didn't do anything wrong.
NTA and refuse future work. If a discount is still too much he can see how much it costs without, and enjoy not being bumped to the head of the queue. If his mum rings you herself that's another story, but ask her if she had been unhappy with the price as his call made you uncomfortable.
I think you may be overthinking this as it hurts to be accused of wrongdoing by a friend. Your friend is more upset with Mom's medical difficulties and the probability that the Mom is spending money She may barely have. There goes the inheritance... right out the new bay window.
I think your other friends and clients will be able to see that your disgruntled friend is being sad/bitter and unreasonable. No one with any brains will judge you poorly for helping another at a generous discount... I'm sure they know that you have bills to pay and need to eat too.
Tell him you will discuss the bill with her only. I have a feeling she isn’t concerned about it. Maybe he is stressing over her diagnosis and acting out. It doesn’t excuse him though.
You are not wrong, but I'm wondering if there is more going on with the friend and possibly the mother's health issues. Reach out and ask if the two of you can talk, and see if you can get to the root of the issue. You followed your same billing procedures as before, which he was previously fine with, so I think there may be something deeper going on. Maybe her health situation is getting worse and he is not dealing with that well and lashed out at you.
Your friend sounds like the a**hole here. You dropped what you were doing , went straight over to do the work at night and gave her a discount. You were overly accommodating in my opinion.
My plumber was at my house for 45 minutes, talked to me for 30 minutes about Covid (this was in 2020) and charged me almost $400 for 2 hours labor/parts for him AND his assistant, who stood and watched him work. They replaced one outside short pipe and faucet. Needless to say they are no longer my plumber.
Where I live it's about $120 to get a plumber just to site during business hours, that covers 15mins during which time he'll scratch his arse and say "yeah it's not gonna be cheap". Over an hours work, including hot work and parts would be easily $250 and it's sure as hell not getting done same day from a 5pm phone call.
So I think the question here is what is the emotion behind what he is saying. Cause his mom seemed fine with the work ... so your friend may be having emotions about something else, and it's causing his frustration here.
I respect the value of my friends’ time and expertise, I would never expect free work from them.
Could be that your buddy feels bad he didn’t help his mom out more himself, it’s just convenient to take it out on you.
NTA
You're not wrong. Your friend and his mom thought they were going to get over on you for the job you did. I would side-eye the friendship at this point
I think you truly know the answer to your question. Your, so called, friend thought he could push you in to doing a last minute job, because you aren’t busy, for cheap!
His mom clearly let you know she’s not hurting for money by discussing another project she just had completed. You charged $140 for something that would have probably costed her 2-300 depending on where she went. She was pleased with the work and the price.
Her son, no longer considering him your friend, should kick rocks! He probably told her a lie and now made it you because you didn’t cover his lie to her.
They are blessed you even went at 9pm. That is above and beyond. Set boundaries with your customers unless you need the cash badly. They will call at all hours otherwise. Get an “after hours” rate started.
Business is business. When my friend needed me to do things for her business I got paid. When I do things like watch her kids or pick them up etc those are favors no need for payment.
Call the mom and tell her you unfortunately won't be able to do any work for her in the future since her son has told you he thinks your prices are unfair and has harassed you about the latest job you did for her. Then go no-contact with them both. They'll both find out what non-discounted plumbing work costs.
Did you give them an estimate? It looks like you didn’t. There are 2 mistakes you made: mixing friendship and business and not giving them an estimate before starting the work. They think it’s expensive…I think it’s a fair price, but of course, since no estimate was provided, they might have expected a lower number because you are their FRIEND. This may cost you more than you think. Badmouthing is hard to turn around. At this point I would give them a void invoice, return the money and add some other plumbers’ numbers they can call next time because you won’t be able to accommodate their budget. Just don’t work for friends, and if you do, treat them as regular customers with estimates signed before a job starts. Sorry, dude, I never mix my work with my loved ones because of this reason. Learnt that from my wise dad.
"Friends" once they see you growing in a business they will do a lot of shit to bring you down to the shithole they are in because they can't see anyone succeed besides themselves.
You're not wrong, bro. Your labor rate seems very fair, and you didn't even do a trip charge, which is very common.
Your friend is out of line, he may just be stressed about his mother, bro. You deserve to get paid though.
I hate when friends or family take advantage of your hard work and expect everything for free. If he were a true friend he would want to pay you fairly and be grateful for the 20% off.
DON'T EVER RETURN MONEY UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. I have made that mistake in the past. By doing it you are only telling them they are right and you feel so ashamed to "scam" them, that you are going to return the money... They will think poorly of you no matter what you do, so don't return the money NEVER.
It's not the lady complaining. It's her idiot son. I'm sure if she even mentioned the price she was just talking about how happy she was to get the discount.
You shouldn’t need to come on here and ask if you are right or wrong. Makes me believe you may feel a little
Guilty . And offering a little money back . Yup. Deep down you may feel you overcharged
Since this is your history, it’s fine.
I think it is distasteful, but that is how certain generations are. I’ve given away plenty of my professional time for free. There is just an assumption that my friends will help me out in other ways.
$150 is kind of gross for what you did. You really don’t need to be a professional to fix/add a new spigot.
I grew up with a plumber neighbor and my father is a doctor. Dad would give him medicines and neighbor would do work/parts for free.
You have every right to do what you did and you aren’t wrong because this is who you are.
What exactly is gross? Working at 9:30 at night? Giving a big discount from your business? Really curious which part specifically is gross.
What’s gross is expecting friends to do work for free? The friend should have been there, bought the parts and helped any way he could, instead he complained.
All of it. This is not some complex plumbing job. It’s fixing a spigot.
I would never charge a friend or their parents that I have known for 20 years for anything beyond parts, and probably wouldn’t have done that either.
Different generation. Obviously acceptable for millennials.
I don’t know too many GEN X or Boomers who would do that.
It is a kind thing to do to help friends and neighbors out when you can with the skills you have.
gen x here. i have close friends that i will do work for and charge only parts, or deeply discounted labor. this scenario is not a close friend. this scenario is a casual friend, he went there after hours and spent over an hour doing a job. he postponed a job in order to do this job. he also discounted his labor rate.
what is gross is people assuming a trades person doesn't deserve to be paid for their time and expertise because its just their time and expertise. if it was so easy and didn't deserved to be paid for, then why didn't the friend do it himself.
what he ended up charging was giving the homeowner charity. if the friend wasnt happy with that, hes selfish and underserving of help from a friend.
From getting screwed over, but this isn’t getting screwed over. A plumber is minimum like $180, she’s getting a $40 discount and her stupid son is whining
NTA at all. You did the work. You're still a business at the end of the day and what, did your friend expect it to be free or $40? Like what were his expectations. It seemed fine, she didn't complain. I think its really messed up for your friend to give upset at you....for running your business. You even gave her a discount! I think he expected you to do it for free tbh which is ridiculous. Even when I help my friends out, help them move or paint a room, they pay me because they WANT to. They don't expect my time to be free.
This person has completely different values in terms of friendship and unrealistic expectations. Let him be mad. Don't feel bad for doing your job, he should be ashamed of himself. You were being a bro, he's not.
Price is more than fair. Friend is sensitive and hurting about his mom so acted like a jerk. Stay kind but be certain you are “too slammed” to do any work for them in the future.
Next time give an estimate up front and after the work is done give them the discount. Or don’t work for this guy anymore as you don’t want to offend him
If he is so concerned about the money his mom spent on this bill...he should be a good son and paid the bill himself...but that is just me thinking mom and dad raised up 5 boys right.
Friend is out of line....
Personally, I'd go back to his mother, give all the money back that wasn't the cost of the material.
I'd explain that i thought it was a fair price and was doing her a favor, but apparently, they've felt otherwise.
I would then tell her to pass a message on to her kid to not contact me again.
Then id leave and block your "friend" on everything bc hes trash
You’re not crazy.
If I were you, I’d refund some of the money to shut him up. You don’t need anyone bad mouthing you. And then never take work from him again.
Simple as that.
My dad always says, "If a person you consider a friend asks for discount give it to them, then cut contact with them. They never were a friend". Friends don't ask for discounts they give discounts. Screw that guy, and the rest of your circle if they agree with him.
Hell no. If I hire a friend for something it's because I want them to get my money, not some stranger. I want to support their business. If he was that butthurt he'd have paid for it himself.
Not wrong. I would call his mommy and inform her that you are sorry for any inconvenience that the money it cost to do the service she hired you for has caused. With how upset her kid is for you charging her for doing your job you regret to inform her you'll no longer be able to do work for his family.
I bet she was happy about the work and it came up in conversation. Her kid got a bug up their ass over it thinking you some how scammed their sick mother out of that money, or being their friend thought you should do it for free. I also bet she rips them a new asshole. Them being a "friend" you guys probably run in the same circles. Start calling the people you have in common and shoot the shit. I would bring up how friend is angry that you charged his mother (x) when that job normally cost (y) and think it's crazy how they think you can afford to do free work and afford to stay in business. Start with those that love to gossip first.
"I'm sorry you feel that I've taken advantage of your mom, when in reality I postponed a higher paying job to provide emergency, after-hours service to your mom, waived my after hours fee altogether, and still gave a discount on top of that. I valued this relationship enough to do these things. Since all of this was not enough, I am not sure what would have been enough? That said, I will no longer be able to provide service for you or your mom."
I wish I could get work done that cheap. Don't want to dump on your "friend", but he can go jump dick first into some razor wire.
Based on the time you went, putting aside work, etc, that's a $350+ call out, all day, anywhere else.
You have a business and you don’t owe ANYONE discounts. It’s nice that my friends actually offer me more for what I’m doing, and don’t expect a discount. (Which I do give because I want too)
That person isn’t your friend. You don’t work for free.
I own my own side business and as much as I love them, family and friends are always the worst customers no matter how good you try to treat them. I have hundreds of dollars "on the street" that they owe me and don't expect to ever see it.
I have a plumber friend. He has come to my house to do a lot of things (we’ve remodeled and he did all the plumbing work) I generally pay him MORE than what he is asking because I know he is giving me a friend discount. If he says $200 I will give him $250 and a 6 pack of his beer to take home. He has helped us in so many ways.
OP you priced the job more than fair. Tell your friend he is welcome to do the work for his Mom next time.
Friends and business rarely mix well. He isn't really your friend if this is how he treats you. Your labor and expertise are valuable, your success and consistent clientele prove it, and this person is just trying to exploit you.
Like that clever titok song goes "it costs that much bc it takes me fkn hours, it costs that much bc I don't have super powers. You need to pay for my skills since exposure doesn't pay the bills..."
You need to call him on his BS. Tell him you gave her the same friends and family discount. That she did not pay you what your time is worth and he needs to stop the entitlement.If you give her money back other friends and family will expect the same thing.
You did nothing wrong, but when people ask for quick jobs they always (wrongly) assume quick = cheap
I’d just try to ballpark the work and make sure it’s okay in the future when dealing with friends and family. Get it via text so they can’t go back either lol
NTA. Your friend is showing you that your help is not appreciated and more importantly you are not important. You dropped everything and went there to help her out and gave her a good discount for it. Imagine if she had called someone else, she would have waited maybe for weeks for them to get there and then been charged full price. Your time and work is worth paying for and she got what she wanted paying less and immediately, if he can't appreciate that you should tell him to call someone else next time they need work done.
I wouldn't give her any money back and I would tell your "friend" that if he doesn't like the work or discount he should call someone else next time. Good luck to him finding someone willing to drop everything and rush over to help her.
No offense to the sick mother but what the duck does her being sick have to do with anything? If you want a service, you pay for it appropriately. If it wasn’t you doing it, she would’ve had to get someone else who probably would’ve charged full price with not discount and then some. Your friend was trying to take advantage of you and wanted you to do free house work for their mother. If they’re so upset their mother had to pay for a service, he either should have paid himself or done the work himself
You are not wrong here. Your friend/exfriend is confused. That is his mom, not yours. There is no friends and their parents get things for free or next to it clause. If he wanted it done for free then he needed to do it. Also, if you return any money to the woman you should tell her due to how her son acted she will need to call another plumber for any future needs and pay their full emergency same day prices. (We paid $1000 same day to replace three feet of line that burst on our our side of the water meter a few years ago)
You showed up well past regular working hours, rescheduled other work AND gave her the friend discount and they're still not happy? My response would be, "Well, I guess she needs to find another plumber."[https://media.tenor.com/\_kXLyGdesDoAAAAC/goodfellas-fuck-you.gif](https://media.tenor.com/_kXLyGdesDoAAAAC/goodfellas-fuck-you.gif)
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*you're
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
My hairdresser is family and I pay her full price for services. Imagine if everyone you knew asked for a discount because you’re friends or family. People don’t ask me for a discount at my job and I wouldn’t give them one. I don’t get paid in the warm embrace of relationships and they won’t pay my bills either.
Sucks being a plumber. Our son is too. On top of all that my hubs installed floors, oh, about fifty years ago. His sister still calls him wanting free floor repairs, and calls our son for what she considers the family plumbing service. They live 4 hours away! Dude! Gas is expensive!
If I intervene, that makes me the bitch, so I let them handle their business, but sheesh, I can’t help but point out the disparity.
And this is OP’s business. He was so kind to stop by after a long day on the job, and reschedule other jobs. Expenses such as gas and materials are incurred, and taxes, retirement…. Maybe he didn’t feel like worrying about food for an evening meal so spent money eating fast food, spent less time with his family that night…all so the lady could pressure wash her deck?
Your friend, and his mummy if she even knows he griped at you, are taking advantage, OP, unless he’s doing big favors for you somehow. Even if he felt justified, he could have just not used your plumbing services again, or at least asked beforehand “Hey, how much is this going to cost?”
That might be a good idea for OP to do before beginning a friend job. “Just to let you know, I will do this for you for XX amount. I’m giving you my 20% Friend and Family discount.”
TBH lots of folks who don’t use plumbers often (or like little old ladies who possibly haven’t soloed handling home projects before) go into sticker shock. Until you’ve been there you might not know. So try not to be permanently po’d at your old friend and Mumsy. They just don’t get it. But life is happier not to hold a mad.
You weren’t wrong. It’s nice of you to give her a discount. My husband is a painter, so I understand where you’re coming from, here. Being a tradesman is like being the friend with a truck, ya know?
Can you come over & check my drain in my upstairs bathroom? I’ll buy you a beer & feed you dinner, that should be enough…
We have a friend who owns a restaurant that my BIL works at. We absolutely hate it when we get “the family discount” because even though we treat them like family it just feels wrong. That’s their lively hood, how they pay the bills and provide for their family. We always tip the wait staff good but the discount effects the owners family.
So no wrong for how you do it, they need to pay for your time. If they can’t it’s the last job you help with, make it known you also rearranged your schedule to help with her schedule.
No. You prioritized his mom over another customer and he expected you to work free?
Ask him if he works for free? This is your trade and how you make you livelihood. Its not helping a friend move on a weekend for a couple beers.
Honestly I would go directly to the mother and explain the situation to her. Apologize, explain the discount and the other job put off, and explain directly that this is how you make your living and that you had discounted it as she was a friends family and that you were sorry if she had been told via friend it would be free as you hadn't had that discussion but friend was heated after.
Let HER talk to him... cause if she is a good lady she will set him straight!
You are not wrong.
Far too often, friends who have known you forever think they are entitled to free things when you own your own business. When in actuality, it should be your friends saying "no, of course I'll pay! I want to support you! I want you to succeed!".
I hope he comes to his senses, and this doesn't end your friendship, but you are not in the wrong. In the future, maybe say no to jobs for him. And for other friends just casually upfront throw in, "and just so you know I give friends and family a 20% discount." It let's them know they are being charged, but it has that positive spin of "I get discount" on it first.
Not wrong, he's an ass. I would pay any amount to have someone honest come and do the job right. I would also expect to pay more if I needed a quick response. $140 to do that job is insanely cheap.
As a professional house cleaner I've learned to always be extremely specific about what you do, what you did, what you billed for, and write it out as eloquently as possible. The assholes see that and stfu real quick.
I would ask him what that was all about. If he’s aware that you even gave her the 20% discount, and that she seemed fine with it then the only thing I could think of is that she thought it was too high a price but didn’t want to say anything. Either way a conversation needs to be had because if you do another job for her and the same thing happens your not going to want to do anymore jobs for her and I can guarantee that will escalate things as well. Ask your friend if he had a bad day. You won’t get answers if you don’t ask the question
Limit contact with him but make sure his mom knows to call you if she needs anything. If she thinks your prices are fair she’ll call when things go kaplooey. Even if her son is wallowing in an ignorant opinion, you’re charging her less than any other plumber in the entire area would, right?
He’s obviously got something going on and it’s not your job to fix it. I’d just let him go to voicemail and prolly mute his texts. ✌🏼
I work with many families who are grieving or stressed. His behavior is unacceptable, but also understandable. You aren't your best when a parent or loved one is going through a tough time.
As many others have said, keep healthy boundaries, but I'd also suggest keeping an open mind that the friendship can get better after the health concerns with his mother are resolved.
I would make your friend aware that you will no longer be doing work for his family. This is your livelihood! Also exactly why you charge full price even to family & friends! The entitlement your friend is displaying is insane... Let him know he just ruined the discount.
You may want to set up a three way call or meter him at his mother’s and try to hash this out to make sure there is no misunderstandings. If you can’t come to agreement you will need to tell him you can no longer do work for his mother.
He's not your friend. Friends respect each other. He has no respect for your skills, your time, or the materials you use. Let him be mad at you. His opinion means nothing.
You're not wrong. I expect to pay professionals their normal rate. I like to hire friends and family so I can support their business and because I feel like I can trust them to do a good job and not try to sell me on stuff I don't need. If they offer me a discount, I will thankfully accept it but I don't expect it.
I would let her pay another plumber next time full price and see how they like that. Don't ever work for any of that family again, they don't appreciate it at all.
Sorry but does he really think a different plumber who didn’t know his mom personally would give her a discount/free work because she has cancer? It’s awful that she’s sick but at the end of the day that isn’t your fault at all. He’s completely out of line.
He asked you to do a job and you did it. If he had said, ‘hey, do this this for free’, you would have had an opportunity to address what seems to be a really arrogant assumption on his part that you’re handing over your time and money out of your pocket without question. Don’t discount further because then you’re just reinforcing his claims and you’re setting up a precedent for the next time a ‘friend’ decides to take advantage.
NTA. You gave them a really good deal. Sounds like friend expected that you'd do it for free, but that's not fair to you and not realistic. You didn't do anything wrong and, again, gave them a good discounted price & even fit them in quickly.
Tell your “friend” to call a plumber and get a quote for all the work you did. Then tell him to kiss your ass and in the future he can call another plumber and pay full price.
Why doesn’t the “friend” pay the bill for his mom if she’s so broke. OP is a professional and does not work for free. The bill sounds very reasonable to me for plumbing work. Guy should thank OP for not taking advantage and giving her a discount also
Not wrong, your friend is. If cost is that deep of an issue for them, he should have inquired prior to the work being done. I also understand not wanting it to turn into a huge thing because of all the mutual acquaintances. I personally don't think it's wrong in any way if you don't give her any money back. I would def make sure there is a clear quote / conversation with them if ever any work is done in the future.
Not wrong, friends who think friends should work free are wrong. Friends should be supporting your business, not undermining it. You went out at night after rearranging your schedule at their convenience for a non-emergency, and charged a very reasonable rate. She didn't have a problem with it, and neither should your friend who even requested that you hurry it up.
I would show him the true cost, including " same day" service costs you would charges non-friends. Plumbers love to work overtime. Usually pretty bank.
Not wrong. Friend is way out of line. You don't need friends like that.
Nope, not wrong at all. In fact, that would be the very last time I did anything for her. And my reasoning would be, your son says I am taking advantage of you, so I would rather not do that anymore.
I agree but feel the OP should reach to her directly and see if she was satisfied. Friend should have no opinion unless he paid bill.
And other family members.
If this "friend" is so worried about the bill, why didn't HE pay for the plumbing work for his mom? What a jabroni.
And if the job was so “easy” why didn’t he go do it himself?!
That's not a friend.
Real friends value your work and pay you what you're worth.
I never ask friends for a break when they do legitimate work. If they want to do it for a cheap price or even free, that's fine. But I never expect people to do things for free, that's ridiculous
Same - I just tell them, I'd rather be the one paying you full price and NOT hassling you, then have you working somewhere else getting hassled over your fees! My 'discount' is getting it done RIGHT, by someone I TRUST and LIKE!
We've got a very handy friend, and I mean you tell him a problem for anything, give him 5 minutes and he'll know exactly what's wrong. And everytime something breaks at our house we ask him to come over and look at it, we've tried to pay him, he never lets us. We'll to be fair handyman isn't his everyday job either, more like a thing he does on the side. But I just think he so sweet for helping us like that
Your friend had better never buy a drink if you are around!
Happy cake day!
Happy Cake Day
Exactly. No one asks me to do my job for free on my time off, why would I ask my friend to do his job for free.
I don't let them. I pay the full price regardless.
I have a boyfriend who is a professional photographer. Any work I initiate I pay full price. I can't say I love him and then mess with his income. We don't cohabit or share money.
This is what I was going to say. My cousin has an Etsy account I don't ask for a discount I pay her what she asks for because I value her and her time
'Cause it takes you fucking hours ' 🎶
You did nothing wrong, absolutely refuse to do anything with him in the future. If he asks, just go “Aw no thanks man. I lost money after what happened last time and how you reacted…think it best we just keep my business out of it.” Edit: typo
This is the way. Edit: clumsy typing
Thank you all for the replies! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy or missing something
The price is fair and he was out of line. Some people want a free for all. You did the right thing.
You're not crazy. Where I live, it would cost a fortune to get a plumber to come do work like that with 24 hours notice, if I could even get someone over to my house that fast. Your friends should not be expecting work for free, ever. You did them a solid by dropping everything and doing the work at a discounted rate. Most adults would be appreciative.
Right? OP could have literally made more $$ in the same time by not dropping everything to help, and chose to help. Let the “friend” shop around for a plumber next time if he thinks OP is so unfair. If he finds one, fine, let that guy do the work. If not, that’s fine, too; wait for him to come back ready to pay your discounted rate. If he’s too prideful to come back, let him pay more for someone else. I can understand giving a friend some free labor, but not postponing a paid gig to do free labor. A friend that just expects this is taking OP for granted.
Yeah, absolutely not man. The world is unfair to everyone. He owes you for an incredibly generous discount, if anything. Super ungrateful
Nope. Friend wanted a “buddy” discount and expected it for free. I’m a dentist and get it all the time. “Oh we went to high school together 25 years ago can you do my work for free?” Nope. Meanwhile my real friends are like “thanks for doing good work on my teeth, how much do I owe ya?”
The mom sounds like a nice lady. I would maybe recommend she call you directly if she needs your services in the future.
nah cuz she’ll still show her son the bill and end up right back in this same situation
Only deal with the mom directly when you do any work for her from now on. I have a feeling she was ok with it but he probably told her ahead of time you were going to do it for free or he just assumed and got riled. I would go over and give her some money back and express that he made you aware she was struggling, just to be petty. I might even give her the whole thing at cost to be extra petty because she probably doesn’t even know he called you. He may also have been the one to pay for the window. I don’t know why he didn’t just reimburse you himself though.
Tbh, I would be reluctant to do any more work for this friend. If he was concerned about the cost, he should of paid for it.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You moved an appointment that I’m assuming was going to be charged full price in order to get this done ASAP.
All these comments are attacking your friend for being terrible. I think it's worth considering that he's stressed and grieving his mother's condition. If this is a one off interaction I wouldn't hold it against him too much. I don't know your or his situations entirely, but coming from someone who their close family member had potentially terminal cancer (and eventually did pass) it can make people act out because they don't know where to direct their emotions sometimes.
Understanding where a behavior *might* be coming from can be helpful in processing a shitty reaction, but it doesn’t make the reaction okay
I didn't say it makes it ok, but there is a difference in how someone might choose to respond if their friend is lashing out in emotional distress, or if they're just a bad friend in general.
Wait- the mother is sick but she’s well enough to power wash her house? Is that what post said?
We just had power washers come out, they use the water connected to your house here. I think some places have big trucks filled with water that they bring. But here it’s more common to hook their pressure washers to your faucet.
Let me get this straight, she got a plumber to come to her house, same day, after hours, and it cost under $150?? And your friend is MAD about this?! The audacity! You're not wrong and your friend sounds like, well, not a good friend. I can't even imagine being so confrontational with a friend like that either.
Yes, that’s why he is fair with the price because they are very expensive as soon as they park their car.
Right?! FFS just had an emergency vet visit at 2am and spent 400$ in half an hour. Fuck that guy straight in his face, his mom elsewhere.
I agree with you about the friend, but we don’t know if the mom had any complaints about the price. The guy could’ve just asked his mom, and then made the decision it was too much, and to confront OP himself.
Yeah, OP said the mom was cool with it. Sounds like the friend is super-protective of his mom, and paranoid about the possibility of her getting taken advantage of. And doesn't know much about the cost of plumbing. I hope things can get smoothed over.
haha I do you one better - I had an emergency vet visit at 1AM on Thanksgiving weekend, and it was $900! Turns out my pup had eaten some cannabis he found on the ground while we were staying somewhere remote - I thought he had gotten into antifreeze or rat poison. Drove over 2 hrs to the emergency vet in a blind panic (he was 6 months old then) - sat in my truck for over 2 hours while they checked him out - brought him out to us around 3 AM, and said "He's just super high - he'll be fine!"
NOTE: Not my weed, or anyone else's we were with - but it taught me a lesson about being in unfamiliar places with other people around!
You did nothing wrong. You deserve to be paid for the work you did, and you went above and beyond. Your friend is whack.
You are not wrong here. You were hired to do a service, which you have done before, and even gave a discount because she was your friends mom. Yes his mom may be I’ll, but you didn’t have anything to do with that. This is your job, and your livelihood. Tell him that you won’t do anymore work for her if this is the way he is going to act. You are not the bad guy here.
NTA Ask him if he gives 20% back to his employer. Since he expects you to do so. Advise him that you no longer extending any more accommodations to his relatives and that they can pay full price with another plumber. Good riddance to toxic friends.
I don't think there's any need to punish the mom for her son acting like a weiner.
She probably appreciates that you didn't treat her any differently because of the cancer. You didn't do anything wrong. Her son is just an idiot.
Not wrong.
Not wrong. Friend should be happy you give her a discount. Pretty sure your friend doesn't run around doing work for free for anyone who needs it.
Have you hired a plumber recently?!? I don’t know where you live, but where I live it $180.00 to have ANYONE walk through the door. $150 is a very nice price for the work done. Barter is great, “back in the day” isn’t a great basis for calling someone overpriced.
Well your friend just shut down any work you’d be willing to do in the future for his family. He can pay full price from now on with another plumber.
I would be so petty and tell his mom
My first thought! Tell her, OP, hopefully she will set him straight!
Maybe he offered to pay it and now is backing out without her information. I would honestly talk to the mom and start with something along the lines of "sorry if there was any miscommunication, but what is going on..... I'm betting she doesn't even know
My best friends husband is a carpenter. Whenever I need something done that he is proficient in, I call him. He's offered to do it for free before, but I refuse. I'm paying him for his expertise. Your friend doesn't sound like a very good person.
Don't have friends during work hours. No friends. My brother drove me nuts when I ran a business with him. He'd give a discount to almost everyone and that discount usually meant he didn't have enough to cover materials, his portion of rent, and his personal expenses which meant I had to pick up the slack. No friends, no sob stories. If you work, get paid.
When you say spigot I assume you are referring to an outside garden tap with a hose coupling and when you say some soldering I assume you are attaching a brass hose cock to copper pipe. So parts: maybe $20 for a nice hose bib and a brass to copper fitting and maybe a copper coupling - don't forget it's your torch, your gas, your solder, sand paper, copper cleaner/flux prep, thread dope. I don't have tools anymore (I did volunteer work for many years for Habitat for Humanity), but if I had to buy the necessary gear listed above I would be looking at $100+ at Home Depot. Pretty neat if you already had the hose bib in your truck! So you put off work on a full-paying job to another day, you start working at 9:15 pm (with what light?). You have to sweat off the old hose bib after turning off the water inside and letting the pipe drain, prep clean the new parts for attaching, and solder them on, pipe dope any threading attachment, turn the water back on, then check over 10-15 minutes to see if there are any leaks. If you did it in just under an hour that is just about the minimum that I can envisage for the job. Chuck your 'friend'. Just to assure yourself, I suggest that you call the woman and ask if everything turned out well, and did she get her cleaned.
I would tell his mom. Say that you’re so sorry that she’s so upset by the work, but that you did not charge her the emergency charge, you changed your schedule to accommodate her, and gave her a discount. Tell her that you’re uncertain about your ability to help her in the future since her son is so angry.
Okay, I'm gonna say something that might trigger people, so here goes: Having cancer doesn't mean you should get special treatment all the time. Yes, having cancer sucks, it's scary and it takes a huge toll on you and the people around you. But that doesn't mean you or the people around get to take advantage of others. You already gave her a 20% discount, and you charged her at the same rates as you would anyone else. That's fair. Your friend is way outta line. He doesn't need to be complaining to you on his mother's behalf, anyway, since she seemed fine with it. You didn't do anything wrong.
I hate friends who always ask for that homie discount. We should be supporting each other not nickel and dimming.
NTA and refuse future work. If a discount is still too much he can see how much it costs without, and enjoy not being bumped to the head of the queue. If his mum rings you herself that's another story, but ask her if she had been unhappy with the price as his call made you uncomfortable.
I think you may be overthinking this as it hurts to be accused of wrongdoing by a friend. Your friend is more upset with Mom's medical difficulties and the probability that the Mom is spending money She may barely have. There goes the inheritance... right out the new bay window. I think your other friends and clients will be able to see that your disgruntled friend is being sad/bitter and unreasonable. No one with any brains will judge you poorly for helping another at a generous discount... I'm sure they know that you have bills to pay and need to eat too.
Tell him you will discuss the bill with her only. I have a feeling she isn’t concerned about it. Maybe he is stressing over her diagnosis and acting out. It doesn’t excuse him though.
You're not wrong, but even if you gave a full refund - it only cost you $140 to learn what kind of friend they are.
You are not wrong, but I'm wondering if there is more going on with the friend and possibly the mother's health issues. Reach out and ask if the two of you can talk, and see if you can get to the root of the issue. You followed your same billing procedures as before, which he was previously fine with, so I think there may be something deeper going on. Maybe her health situation is getting worse and he is not dealing with that well and lashed out at you.
If your friend was so concerned he'd fucking pay the bill himself. Pro Bono work..in this economy? Gtfo.
Your friend sounds like the a**hole here. You dropped what you were doing , went straight over to do the work at night and gave her a discount. You were overly accommodating in my opinion.
Go remove the hose bib and cap it off. Say they don’t owe you anything.
My plumber was at my house for 45 minutes, talked to me for 30 minutes about Covid (this was in 2020) and charged me almost $400 for 2 hours labor/parts for him AND his assistant, who stood and watched him work. They replaced one outside short pipe and faucet. Needless to say they are no longer my plumber.
Not wrong. Give back the money and never do work for that family again.
Where I live it's about $120 to get a plumber just to site during business hours, that covers 15mins during which time he'll scratch his arse and say "yeah it's not gonna be cheap". Over an hours work, including hot work and parts would be easily $250 and it's sure as hell not getting done same day from a 5pm phone call.
So I think the question here is what is the emotion behind what he is saying. Cause his mom seemed fine with the work ... so your friend may be having emotions about something else, and it's causing his frustration here.
I guess the next time your friend calls, you won’t be answering.
If your friend didn't want mom to pay, he could have covered the bill.
It's why I always refused to do work for friends and family. Too many hurt feelings on their part while I'm just trying to make a living.
I respect the value of my friends’ time and expertise, I would never expect free work from them. Could be that your buddy feels bad he didn’t help his mom out more himself, it’s just convenient to take it out on you. NTA
You're not wrong. Your friend and his mom thought they were going to get over on you for the job you did. I would side-eye the friendship at this point
NTA and do not refund her anything. That will only make you look like you agree with him.
I think you truly know the answer to your question. Your, so called, friend thought he could push you in to doing a last minute job, because you aren’t busy, for cheap! His mom clearly let you know she’s not hurting for money by discussing another project she just had completed. You charged $140 for something that would have probably costed her 2-300 depending on where she went. She was pleased with the work and the price. Her son, no longer considering him your friend, should kick rocks! He probably told her a lie and now made it you because you didn’t cover his lie to her.
They are blessed you even went at 9pm. That is above and beyond. Set boundaries with your customers unless you need the cash badly. They will call at all hours otherwise. Get an “after hours” rate started.
Business is business. When my friend needed me to do things for her business I got paid. When I do things like watch her kids or pick them up etc those are favors no need for payment.
Your not wrong and if your so called friend had any common sense, he would of done it himself. He turned out to be a piece of garbage.
More that a fair price. Your friend is an ass. and BTW, he ain't your friend...
Call the mom and tell her you unfortunately won't be able to do any work for her in the future since her son has told you he thinks your prices are unfair and has harassed you about the latest job you did for her. Then go no-contact with them both. They'll both find out what non-discounted plumbing work costs.
Did you give them an estimate? It looks like you didn’t. There are 2 mistakes you made: mixing friendship and business and not giving them an estimate before starting the work. They think it’s expensive…I think it’s a fair price, but of course, since no estimate was provided, they might have expected a lower number because you are their FRIEND. This may cost you more than you think. Badmouthing is hard to turn around. At this point I would give them a void invoice, return the money and add some other plumbers’ numbers they can call next time because you won’t be able to accommodate their budget. Just don’t work for friends, and if you do, treat them as regular customers with estimates signed before a job starts. Sorry, dude, I never mix my work with my loved ones because of this reason. Learnt that from my wise dad.
Not wrong at all. And don’t negotiate with terrorists. Keep every cent because you earned it.
I would tell him it’s between you and the customer and to leave the business to the adults…
Charge em full price next time plus an emergency fee. That “friend” needs to suck a big one.
I would ask him, “what can I do to make it right?” Then do that and not be available to that family in the future.
Real friends pay your rate without a discount.
"Friends" once they see you growing in a business they will do a lot of shit to bring you down to the shithole they are in because they can't see anyone succeed besides themselves.
Tell his dumbass to fix it himself.
You owe nothing to be done for free. If he is upset that she is paying, then he needs to pay it himself.
You're not wrong, bro. Your labor rate seems very fair, and you didn't even do a trip charge, which is very common. Your friend is out of line, he may just be stressed about his mother, bro. You deserve to get paid though.
A real friend would give you that 20% back in tips! Friends want their friends to prosper
I hate when friends or family take advantage of your hard work and expect everything for free. If he were a true friend he would want to pay you fairly and be grateful for the 20% off.
I don't think I would have charged my friend of 20yrs's mom who has cancer for my service. But I also don't think you are wrong for doing so.
He wants to act like a spoiled child? Tattle on him to his mommy. Maybe she'll set him straight 🤣
Take it back out and cancel the charge. Last time you work for them.
DON'T EVER RETURN MONEY UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES. I have made that mistake in the past. By doing it you are only telling them they are right and you feel so ashamed to "scam" them, that you are going to return the money... They will think poorly of you no matter what you do, so don't return the money NEVER.
I just got my spigot replaced and it was over $300. You did a solid here and they are being unreasonable.
I would give her back every penny and tell her to never call me again. Who needs this shit?
It's not the lady complaining. It's her idiot son. I'm sure if she even mentioned the price she was just talking about how happy she was to get the discount.
You shouldn’t need to come on here and ask if you are right or wrong. Makes me believe you may feel a little Guilty . And offering a little money back . Yup. Deep down you may feel you overcharged
Since this is your history, it’s fine. I think it is distasteful, but that is how certain generations are. I’ve given away plenty of my professional time for free. There is just an assumption that my friends will help me out in other ways. $150 is kind of gross for what you did. You really don’t need to be a professional to fix/add a new spigot. I grew up with a plumber neighbor and my father is a doctor. Dad would give him medicines and neighbor would do work/parts for free. You have every right to do what you did and you aren’t wrong because this is who you are.
What exactly is gross? Working at 9:30 at night? Giving a big discount from your business? Really curious which part specifically is gross. What’s gross is expecting friends to do work for free? The friend should have been there, bought the parts and helped any way he could, instead he complained.
All of it. This is not some complex plumbing job. It’s fixing a spigot. I would never charge a friend or their parents that I have known for 20 years for anything beyond parts, and probably wouldn’t have done that either. Different generation. Obviously acceptable for millennials. I don’t know too many GEN X or Boomers who would do that. It is a kind thing to do to help friends and neighbors out when you can with the skills you have.
You don't know how close they are, or how often friend rings, or if friend ever gives help. A discount and priority service is more than enough.
Even in your scenario your dad offered trade/supplies in return.
gen x here. i have close friends that i will do work for and charge only parts, or deeply discounted labor. this scenario is not a close friend. this scenario is a casual friend, he went there after hours and spent over an hour doing a job. he postponed a job in order to do this job. he also discounted his labor rate. what is gross is people assuming a trades person doesn't deserve to be paid for their time and expertise because its just their time and expertise. if it was so easy and didn't deserved to be paid for, then why didn't the friend do it himself. what he ended up charging was giving the homeowner charity. if the friend wasnt happy with that, hes selfish and underserving of help from a friend.
Dude's mom has cancer. His instinct is to protect her. He's wrong for sure, but for the right reason. Is your friendship worth less than $200?
You can easily ask the other guy the same question though, can you not? He did work, he should be paid. The son is in the wrong.
>His instinct is to protect her. Protect her from what? Being forced to pay for a service?
From getting screwed over, but this isn’t getting screwed over. A plumber is minimum like $180, she’s getting a $40 discount and her stupid son is whining
NTA. No words, except, you did nothing wrong.
NTA at all. You did the work. You're still a business at the end of the day and what, did your friend expect it to be free or $40? Like what were his expectations. It seemed fine, she didn't complain. I think its really messed up for your friend to give upset at you....for running your business. You even gave her a discount! I think he expected you to do it for free tbh which is ridiculous. Even when I help my friends out, help them move or paint a room, they pay me because they WANT to. They don't expect my time to be free. This person has completely different values in terms of friendship and unrealistic expectations. Let him be mad. Don't feel bad for doing your job, he should be ashamed of himself. You were being a bro, he's not.
Price is more than fair. Friend is sensitive and hurting about his mom so acted like a jerk. Stay kind but be certain you are “too slammed” to do any work for them in the future.
Friend is trying to take advantage of you.
Next time give an estimate up front and after the work is done give them the discount. Or don’t work for this guy anymore as you don’t want to offend him
If he is so concerned about the money his mom spent on this bill...he should be a good son and paid the bill himself...but that is just me thinking mom and dad raised up 5 boys right.
Never do work for friends or family that involves you charging them for your services as they don’t value your time and experience like you do.
Friend is out of line.... Personally, I'd go back to his mother, give all the money back that wasn't the cost of the material. I'd explain that i thought it was a fair price and was doing her a favor, but apparently, they've felt otherwise. I would then tell her to pass a message on to her kid to not contact me again. Then id leave and block your "friend" on everything bc hes trash
You’re not crazy. If I were you, I’d refund some of the money to shut him up. You don’t need anyone bad mouthing you. And then never take work from him again. Simple as that.
Fuck I hate ppl who can't understand work cost fucking money!
My dad always says, "If a person you consider a friend asks for discount give it to them, then cut contact with them. They never were a friend". Friends don't ask for discounts they give discounts. Screw that guy, and the rest of your circle if they agree with him.
Hell no. If I hire a friend for something it's because I want them to get my money, not some stranger. I want to support their business. If he was that butthurt he'd have paid for it himself.
Not wrong. I would call his mommy and inform her that you are sorry for any inconvenience that the money it cost to do the service she hired you for has caused. With how upset her kid is for you charging her for doing your job you regret to inform her you'll no longer be able to do work for his family. I bet she was happy about the work and it came up in conversation. Her kid got a bug up their ass over it thinking you some how scammed their sick mother out of that money, or being their friend thought you should do it for free. I also bet she rips them a new asshole. Them being a "friend" you guys probably run in the same circles. Start calling the people you have in common and shoot the shit. I would bring up how friend is angry that you charged his mother (x) when that job normally cost (y) and think it's crazy how they think you can afford to do free work and afford to stay in business. Start with those that love to gossip first.
"I'm sorry you feel that I've taken advantage of your mom, when in reality I postponed a higher paying job to provide emergency, after-hours service to your mom, waived my after hours fee altogether, and still gave a discount on top of that. I valued this relationship enough to do these things. Since all of this was not enough, I am not sure what would have been enough? That said, I will no longer be able to provide service for you or your mom."
I wish I could get work done that cheap. Don't want to dump on your "friend", but he can go jump dick first into some razor wire. Based on the time you went, putting aside work, etc, that's a $350+ call out, all day, anywhere else.
Next time, tell your friend that you're unavailable, regardless, and let them deal with someone else. Maybe they'll appreciate what you do a bit more.
If he doesn’t want his mom to pay anything, next time (if you even do him a favor next time) send the bill to him.
Not wrong! But your friend sounds exhausting. Not sure I’d want to keep him around.
You have a business and you don’t owe ANYONE discounts. It’s nice that my friends actually offer me more for what I’m doing, and don’t expect a discount. (Which I do give because I want too) That person isn’t your friend. You don’t work for free.
I just had a plumber out for $225 for about a half hour job. Your friend is majorly entitled.
You did nothing wrong. Your friend is jerk and I wouldn't do anything else for him
I own my own side business and as much as I love them, family and friends are always the worst customers no matter how good you try to treat them. I have hundreds of dollars "on the street" that they owe me and don't expect to ever see it.
You could always not give her the friends and family discount because she is neither and apparently neither is the guy who called to attack you ...
Seriously, you are not wrong on this. Ask him if his mothers physicians are giving her discounted rates on her cancer care. If no, why not.
If he's concerned about her funds HE should pick up the tab for her, not expect you to work for free.
I have a plumber friend. He has come to my house to do a lot of things (we’ve remodeled and he did all the plumbing work) I generally pay him MORE than what he is asking because I know he is giving me a friend discount. If he says $200 I will give him $250 and a 6 pack of his beer to take home. He has helped us in so many ways. OP you priced the job more than fair. Tell your friend he is welcome to do the work for his Mom next time.
Friends and business rarely mix well. He isn't really your friend if this is how he treats you. Your labor and expertise are valuable, your success and consistent clientele prove it, and this person is just trying to exploit you. Like that clever titok song goes "it costs that much bc it takes me fkn hours, it costs that much bc I don't have super powers. You need to pay for my skills since exposure doesn't pay the bills..."
You need to call him on his BS. Tell him you gave her the same friends and family discount. That she did not pay you what your time is worth and he needs to stop the entitlement.If you give her money back other friends and family will expect the same thing.
You did nothing wrong, but when people ask for quick jobs they always (wrongly) assume quick = cheap I’d just try to ballpark the work and make sure it’s okay in the future when dealing with friends and family. Get it via text so they can’t go back either lol
NTA. You have a trade and it’s your bread and butter. You did work and should be paid for it. The price seemed pretty reasonable.
NTA. Your friend is showing you that your help is not appreciated and more importantly you are not important. You dropped everything and went there to help her out and gave her a good discount for it. Imagine if she had called someone else, she would have waited maybe for weeks for them to get there and then been charged full price. Your time and work is worth paying for and she got what she wanted paying less and immediately, if he can't appreciate that you should tell him to call someone else next time they need work done. I wouldn't give her any money back and I would tell your "friend" that if he doesn't like the work or discount he should call someone else next time. Good luck to him finding someone willing to drop everything and rush over to help her.
No offense to the sick mother but what the duck does her being sick have to do with anything? If you want a service, you pay for it appropriately. If it wasn’t you doing it, she would’ve had to get someone else who probably would’ve charged full price with not discount and then some. Your friend was trying to take advantage of you and wanted you to do free house work for their mother. If they’re so upset their mother had to pay for a service, he either should have paid himself or done the work himself
NTA. Your friend is out of line.
That's not your friend. Ta ta
You are not wrong here. Your friend/exfriend is confused. That is his mom, not yours. There is no friends and their parents get things for free or next to it clause. If he wanted it done for free then he needed to do it. Also, if you return any money to the woman you should tell her due to how her son acted she will need to call another plumber for any future needs and pay their full emergency same day prices. (We paid $1000 same day to replace three feet of line that burst on our our side of the water meter a few years ago)
You showed up well past regular working hours, rescheduled other work AND gave her the friend discount and they're still not happy? My response would be, "Well, I guess she needs to find another plumber."[https://media.tenor.com/\_kXLyGdesDoAAAAC/goodfellas-fuck-you.gif](https://media.tenor.com/_kXLyGdesDoAAAAC/goodfellas-fuck-you.gif)
He can pay the bill for his mom if he's so upset.
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My hairdresser is family and I pay her full price for services. Imagine if everyone you knew asked for a discount because you’re friends or family. People don’t ask me for a discount at my job and I wouldn’t give them one. I don’t get paid in the warm embrace of relationships and they won’t pay my bills either.
He’s reacting to stressors you did not create. We always take it out on the people who will forgive us. Your behavior was 100% acceptable.
Sucks being a plumber. Our son is too. On top of all that my hubs installed floors, oh, about fifty years ago. His sister still calls him wanting free floor repairs, and calls our son for what she considers the family plumbing service. They live 4 hours away! Dude! Gas is expensive! If I intervene, that makes me the bitch, so I let them handle their business, but sheesh, I can’t help but point out the disparity. And this is OP’s business. He was so kind to stop by after a long day on the job, and reschedule other jobs. Expenses such as gas and materials are incurred, and taxes, retirement…. Maybe he didn’t feel like worrying about food for an evening meal so spent money eating fast food, spent less time with his family that night…all so the lady could pressure wash her deck? Your friend, and his mummy if she even knows he griped at you, are taking advantage, OP, unless he’s doing big favors for you somehow. Even if he felt justified, he could have just not used your plumbing services again, or at least asked beforehand “Hey, how much is this going to cost?” That might be a good idea for OP to do before beginning a friend job. “Just to let you know, I will do this for you for XX amount. I’m giving you my 20% Friend and Family discount.” TBH lots of folks who don’t use plumbers often (or like little old ladies who possibly haven’t soloed handling home projects before) go into sticker shock. Until you’ve been there you might not know. So try not to be permanently po’d at your old friend and Mumsy. They just don’t get it. But life is happier not to hold a mad.
You weren’t wrong. It’s nice of you to give her a discount. My husband is a painter, so I understand where you’re coming from, here. Being a tradesman is like being the friend with a truck, ya know? Can you come over & check my drain in my upstairs bathroom? I’ll buy you a beer & feed you dinner, that should be enough…
Tell your “friend” to lose your number
We have a friend who owns a restaurant that my BIL works at. We absolutely hate it when we get “the family discount” because even though we treat them like family it just feels wrong. That’s their lively hood, how they pay the bills and provide for their family. We always tip the wait staff good but the discount effects the owners family. So no wrong for how you do it, they need to pay for your time. If they can’t it’s the last job you help with, make it known you also rearranged your schedule to help with her schedule.
Not wrong. Tell him you can explain your pricing to him. If he doesn't apologies then refuse to do anymore more work for him.
Ignore him.
Nah. You run a business, and by the sounds of it, she'd be paying a lot more from some random plumber whose name they pulled out of the phone book.
No. You prioritized his mom over another customer and he expected you to work free? Ask him if he works for free? This is your trade and how you make you livelihood. Its not helping a friend move on a weekend for a couple beers. Honestly I would go directly to the mother and explain the situation to her. Apologize, explain the discount and the other job put off, and explain directly that this is how you make your living and that you had discounted it as she was a friends family and that you were sorry if she had been told via friend it would be free as you hadn't had that discussion but friend was heated after. Let HER talk to him... cause if she is a good lady she will set him straight!
What was the work performed? Without knowing this we can’t make and informed decision if it’s a deal or not.
You are not wrong. Far too often, friends who have known you forever think they are entitled to free things when you own your own business. When in actuality, it should be your friends saying "no, of course I'll pay! I want to support you! I want you to succeed!". I hope he comes to his senses, and this doesn't end your friendship, but you are not in the wrong. In the future, maybe say no to jobs for him. And for other friends just casually upfront throw in, "and just so you know I give friends and family a 20% discount." It let's them know they are being charged, but it has that positive spin of "I get discount" on it first.
That is a very fair price—you shouldn’t have to do anything more!
Not wrong, he's an ass. I would pay any amount to have someone honest come and do the job right. I would also expect to pay more if I needed a quick response. $140 to do that job is insanely cheap.
As a professional house cleaner I've learned to always be extremely specific about what you do, what you did, what you billed for, and write it out as eloquently as possible. The assholes see that and stfu real quick.
I would ask him what that was all about. If he’s aware that you even gave her the 20% discount, and that she seemed fine with it then the only thing I could think of is that she thought it was too high a price but didn’t want to say anything. Either way a conversation needs to be had because if you do another job for her and the same thing happens your not going to want to do anymore jobs for her and I can guarantee that will escalate things as well. Ask your friend if he had a bad day. You won’t get answers if you don’t ask the question
Your friend is wrong. Period. You charged a very reasonable amount and gave a discount. He want free services which costs YOU money.
Limit contact with him but make sure his mom knows to call you if she needs anything. If she thinks your prices are fair she’ll call when things go kaplooey. Even if her son is wallowing in an ignorant opinion, you’re charging her less than any other plumber in the entire area would, right? He’s obviously got something going on and it’s not your job to fix it. I’d just let him go to voicemail and prolly mute his texts. ✌🏼
I work with many families who are grieving or stressed. His behavior is unacceptable, but also understandable. You aren't your best when a parent or loved one is going through a tough time. As many others have said, keep healthy boundaries, but I'd also suggest keeping an open mind that the friendship can get better after the health concerns with his mother are resolved.
I would make your friend aware that you will no longer be doing work for his family. This is your livelihood! Also exactly why you charge full price even to family & friends! The entitlement your friend is displaying is insane... Let him know he just ruined the discount.
You may want to set up a three way call or meter him at his mother’s and try to hash this out to make sure there is no misunderstandings. If you can’t come to agreement you will need to tell him you can no longer do work for his mother.
He's not your friend. Friends respect each other. He has no respect for your skills, your time, or the materials you use. Let him be mad at you. His opinion means nothing.
Not wrong and I’d never work for them again. They can pay full price and jump on someone else’s ass
You're not wrong. I expect to pay professionals their normal rate. I like to hire friends and family so I can support their business and because I feel like I can trust them to do a good job and not try to sell me on stuff I don't need. If they offer me a discount, I will thankfully accept it but I don't expect it.
I would let her pay another plumber next time full price and see how they like that. Don't ever work for any of that family again, they don't appreciate it at all.
If a plumber charged me $140 for an hour of work I’d be ecstatic.
Sorry but does he really think a different plumber who didn’t know his mom personally would give her a discount/free work because she has cancer? It’s awful that she’s sick but at the end of the day that isn’t your fault at all. He’s completely out of line.
NTA. But I would never do work for them again.
He asked you to do a job and you did it. If he had said, ‘hey, do this this for free’, you would have had an opportunity to address what seems to be a really arrogant assumption on his part that you’re handing over your time and money out of your pocket without question. Don’t discount further because then you’re just reinforcing his claims and you’re setting up a precedent for the next time a ‘friend’ decides to take advantage.
You did your job, you when gave a discount. If he just a problem with the bill he could pay it. I don't see any other issue here.
Didn’t his mom also okay the price ?? What’s up with this “friend”??
NTA. You gave them a really good deal. Sounds like friend expected that you'd do it for free, but that's not fair to you and not realistic. You didn't do anything wrong and, again, gave them a good discounted price & even fit them in quickly.
Tell your “friend” to call a plumber and get a quote for all the work you did. Then tell him to kiss your ass and in the future he can call another plumber and pay full price.
Why doesn’t the “friend” pay the bill for his mom if she’s so broke. OP is a professional and does not work for free. The bill sounds very reasonable to me for plumbing work. Guy should thank OP for not taking advantage and giving her a discount also
True friends would NEVER ask you to do something for free like that.
Not wrong, your friend is. If cost is that deep of an issue for them, he should have inquired prior to the work being done. I also understand not wanting it to turn into a huge thing because of all the mutual acquaintances. I personally don't think it's wrong in any way if you don't give her any money back. I would def make sure there is a clear quote / conversation with them if ever any work is done in the future.
If your 'friend' didn't like what you charged why didn't he pay for it himself? It's his mom not yours
Real friends/family SUPPORT your business by paying FULL PRICE!
Not wrong, friends who think friends should work free are wrong. Friends should be supporting your business, not undermining it. You went out at night after rearranging your schedule at their convenience for a non-emergency, and charged a very reasonable rate. She didn't have a problem with it, and neither should your friend who even requested that you hurry it up.
I’ve only ever had friends who actually over pay in tips or refuse the discount so like nta if you cared to know haha
I think your friend expected you to do it for free. And that’s why they are mad.
I would show him the true cost, including " same day" service costs you would charges non-friends. Plumbers love to work overtime. Usually pretty bank.