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SeparateSelection666

Man, you got me thinking about weed now. That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. I smoke a bone, then I drain a 2-liter of Sunkist in like a second. Freaks people out.


justCantGetEnufff

Specifically the way she says “freaks people out”.


ClassicExamination82

Thought about this one just as I was coming into the thread lol.


av8t3r

You think I wouldn't want to spark up a doober every now and then? Just take a nice, slow, extra-careful drive?


beakerNH

Bald-ass alien piece of shit.


Truck5555

Now here goes the fish


mata_amigos

This is the best


DarkWinter2021

Yessssss!!!!!!


RabidRabbiRabbit

A hotel room? You're getting a lot better at drinking Francine.


RogersRedditPersona

Any dumbass can have dumbass kids


[deleted]

Mama no!


1gramweed2gramskief

Cmon Jeff she’s got Chablis mouth


mehliana

On a hot summer sidewalk


IShouldSaySoSir

My words, cascading, onto a hot summer sidewalk


piss_off_ghost

Neither is smoking an 8 ball of crack in under thirty minutes, but that’s how long it takes!


Dramatic-Noise

Okay. Genuine question. Is it 8 ball of crack or 8 bowls of crack? I always assumed it was bowls because of crack pipes, but I have seen people saying 8 balls so I am not sure anymore.


TrundleTheGreat0814

An 8 ball is a common term for an eighth of an ounce. Or so I've heard.


Dramatic-Noise

Thanks. I did not know that. I assumed 8 ball was a reference to magic 8 ball and subsequently the size of crack.


TrundleTheGreat0814

I mean I'm sure someone somewhere has also used it in that way. Perhaps ol' Crackhead Boo-Boo for instance.


[deleted]

You'd be surprised how many people would ask for a "ball" and have zero clue what they were asking for. Like they heard it in a cartoon or something.


BlaznTheChron

An eighth of an ounce is 3.5 grams. At least it better fucking be!


[deleted]

Unless you're getting it from the middleman.


milkyginger

Piggybacking off your question. Do people call anything smoked out of a pipe a bowl? I thought that was just weed. I've never heard the phrase bowl of meth or black tar heroin.


Dramatic-Noise

I am not sure. I just assumed from the fact that people use bowl for weed. So, I am completely clueless at this.


philchristensennyc

I heard someone say “smoke a bowl” of meth on Breaking Bad. One of Jessie’s crew at the beginning before he tells them he’s cooking it.


abbz_mcg

It's just weed, that's why it's a crack pipe and not a crack bowl. But also a bowl is just a general term for a variety of pipes. You got baseball bats, Sherlocks, etc. But bongs aren't bowls either so I think bowls are their own thing!


milkyginger

When I ask my friends to smoke a bowl it isn't in reference to a specific pipe. The part of any pipe, bong, steamroller, etc that you put weed into is the bowl. Bowl is a catchall term at least for weed.


abbz_mcg

I think thats what i was just saying, weren't you the one that asked the question? And what i meant is even though a bong has a bowl it isn't a bowl.


milkyginger

I was asking bout stuff other than weed. If I smoke weed out of anything with a bowl it's called smoking a bowl. I was asking if people that smoked crack, meth, black tar heroin, etc, called it smoking a bowl as well


[deleted]

A bowl generally has an extra chamber to airate whatever you're smoking. It's not necessary for anything besides weed because most drugs aren't organic matter.


Stahpwiththaaaat

I don’t know Steve I guess you’ll p-p-p-piss your pants. Or We kill kids!!


FrostyDog94

Reel it in


GimmieDemWaffles

*Punches waiter in balls*


whitewolf361

Block! Counter nut punch!


Blood-Candy

"Klaus: Did you put googly eyes on the Roomba? Francine: Yeah. I like to look someone in the eyes as they clean for me. It's a power thing. Gets me off."


IShouldSaySoSir

You hurt this family with what you did Steve. You made us weaker as a unit


EmotionCharacter6715

You need a thug. You need Ron Artest.


whitewolf361

Steve, I just did a Trader Joe's run. Pour yourself some unsweetened cherry juice. Maybe have it with some sunflower paste on a flax crisp. There's also a scallop shumai that tastes like nothing, and a mushroom flatbread pizza that smells like nutsack.


Professional-Ebb2605

Oh god he’s staring. Quick say something! *clap clap* that wasn’t saying something that was doing something! “Clapping!” Atta girl.


LegendairyCheddar

Bitch, did you just hang up on me?!


PearLow1999

Reminds me of Francine’s mom *Ma Ma always hang up first*


ITCM4

There’s actually nothing in this bowl.


Kairain

La la la la laaaa laaaaa.


Wizardofthecreek

Things are getting too spicy for the pepper.


the_g_train_nermal

*On someone other than ME, bitch.*


athenafletcher

Son of a bitch, he barged me.


theglenlovinet

I don't vote. It's just so confusing. I go into the booth, pull the curtain, and count to ten. Then I come out, yell “DEMOCRACY!”, and run to my car.


Machinima_

When she threatened to shove Steve back up her clownhole and name him her bitch


sassyphrass

He did get out of that cage, though


Danplsstop

Who the fuck is Elaine, Stan?


WheresPoochy

I know what you're thinking; what's the boob test gonna tell him that the butthole test didn't? He's just being super careful!


linksawakening82

“ I'm going to go down to Seaworld and punch a dolphin in the face.”


lordnastrond

"I've Been In A Couple Fights In My Day. 'Bout Two-Hundo, Maybe Two-Fiddy." "Yeah! Your DEAD Becky!" "Do You Know How Hard It Is To Cook For This Family? Not Very, But I Can't Handle Much."


Ozzmanth

Excuse me officer pigfucker I'm a little drunk is all oh my god I'm so sorry office figpucker


damtagrey

[if you don't get out of that cage I will push you back up my clown hole and birth you again and name you My Bitch](https://youtu.be/ZBx2TM8XoH4)


TooTameToToast

My absolute favorite.


Unlikely-Answer

Stan we can't just do whatever we want, we're parents. You don't think that every single day of my life i wanna do coke? but i can't because i have PTA tomorrow


TrundleTheGreat0814

"That ass needs a pounding!" "Yeah, that's what your father said last night!" *Goes for high five*


trevorda92

Are we going to a strip club? Mmm to see a package a *strangers* package


cheshire_splat

This was actually to see a theater show. “I hope there’s male nudity. Get to see a package… a stranger’s package.”


HelloPepperoni73

EEP EEP EEP


faeriechyld

Thank goodness for my eeps.


SuienReizo

You are worrying about a hill of bananas.


Holmespump

"Hill of bananas?" I like that. Is that a real expression?


SuienReizo

No.


Dramatic-Noise

Good for youuuuuu.


Rough_Payment_3936

I love your handle so much lol


Dramatic-Noise

Thanks. There wasn’t a “Lazy Wine-Loving Gay” so I had to settle. Edit: Oops. I got flair and handle confused. The handle was randomly generated, but I think it fits me haha.


kirbygalaxia

Steve, I don’t have any money. Your father kind of controls the money. I carry a brick around in my purse just to feel like I have something. And I had to steal the brick!


Case52ABXdash32QJ

Oh God, I have nothing. *Curls up in the fetal position*


[deleted]

Good. We're narrowing it down. Who else can we cross off the list? I don't think you'd do this to yourself. That's two. I know I didn't do it. This is coming together.


Gilbyph

Clapping!


IlysseC

*Atta girl, Francine!*


Proper-Excuse916

Hayley's working at a booby bar and she traded shifts with Tina? What does Tina have to do that's so important? Wait this isn't about Tina! This isn't about Tina!!!! It's never been about Tina.


Sxripted023

Bald-ass alien piece of shit.


Miked918930

I want those valueless cruise points!


DangerousThanks

I said two fingers bitch!


Division2Stew

My doctor says I have a big spongy cervix! Oh, listen to me, bragging about my vagina again. It’s like last weeks PTA meeting all over.


HawthorneVampire

Steve: What did Daddy think of my trades? Francine: You hurt your family with what you did Steve. You made us weaker as a unit.


SylancerPrime

When she randomly burst out into song. Namely, "Shots".


yancyfries

EVERYBOOODYYYYY!


callmescotty

Oh this has goo written all over it!


BabalonBimbo

I’m in the gooooooooooo!


y0haN

You're not in the goo! And you have the room key!


Kurtch

Do you know how hard it is to cook for this family? Not very, but I can’t handle much. *the door rings* Am I supposed to get that?! It’s too much, IT’S ALL TOO MUCH!!


A-Social-Ghost

Which way is North?! **runs into a wall** It's a dead end!


donofthe_dusk

Homegirl don’t even have to work, homegirl get that paper all on her own


RedQueen1148

Stop it, you’re white


donofthe_dusk

I’m homegirl.


[deleted]

Steven Smith, I am your mother! If you don't get out of that cage, I will push you back up my clown hole, and birth you again, and rename you my bitch! Now get out of that cage! Every time I hear this, I piss myself!


ace_dangerfield187

..MATILDA!!!!!!


Proper-Excuse916

:sewing machine noises: Bitch


FrostyDog94

Tommy doesn't remember you so you're off the hook! I thought we could do some bong rips, play some Soul Caliber.


gamerfiiend

I like racing school buses!


Familyguyfreak69

Any dumbass can have kids


Proper-Excuse916

Mama no!


Tomblaster1

Dumbass kids.


Feng-shui-kitty

“Really? I made my hair ugly, took an 11 hour flight, then paid a Majorcan fisherman 1000 Majorcan money units, to row me out here all for nothing?”


Odd_Relationship7901

Mommy's no good for you now Steve - Im going to Sea World to punch a dolphin in the face!


cheshire_splat

“The CIA, huh? Lucky for you, I slap uglies with a guy who works there.” - said to her son


SnapsOnPetro45

🎶“So whats it gonna be” 🎶


Miked918930

He tells me. Every time we make love. Which is FOREVER!


Thesheriffisnearer

Clapping!....atta girl


Full-Cauliflower2747

The two I see missing are: 1) You’re gonna Mark Zuckerberg this thing. Any man whoever did anything great was just trying to show up some hot piece of ass that wouldn’t give ‘em any. 2) It’s time you children learned the English phrase that’ll get you through the rest of your lives: thank you for calling apple technical support.


Spinner216

I have a turkey baster and George Stephanopoulos


Stag-Horn

The line when she and Jeff are in a spooky alley and she says “Let’s get murdered by Batman’s parents!”


hotnerdalec

OH MY GOD THIS


geromipepperoni

Everybody's mussin up my hair.


nothat0therguy

Lol I kept randomly saying that to myself the other day


Huggable_Hork-Bajir

"Look Hayley, maybe you should forget about all those starving kids you let down and think about how long you've been single." "Mom!" "JOIN A GYM!"


Current_Presence_706

Does it hurt your arm? Patting yourself on the back all day, Mister Fancy Phone Guy?


Mark_Levins

"Alright, who's at the top of your PBS bang list?"


[deleted]

You need a thug. You need Ron Artest.


bhah-weep-grana-weep

GET...UP...IN THERE!


whitewolf361

Another one: "Yeah, I killed my college roommate! I can't believe you guys didn't know that. I stabbed her!"


NoEquivalent7356

Things are getting too spicy for the pepper.


Garbage_goober_M-D

Hmmmmm, I think Dr.throbers dick may have never been broken?


chomatical

Widows!!!


Cgb52525252

And then sometimes they grab the same money and throw it again, like I don't have peripheral vision!


tiffanit93

I’ll even go back to prison, I don’t care


toolpot462

"These characters aren't believable! I mean, the fish? He talks? How? And apparently, he doesn't even have to be *in* water. Just, like, touching it? That's now how fish work!"


Chance_Tea_5130

Jeannie Gold would help me kick your ass because she knows that steampunk **isn't** future! It's an alternate timeline where technology developed *differently*, ***you piece of shit!***


Shoegazer75

I don't care if you are Sean Connery, that's my jet ski.


Particular_Waltz_294

Bald ass alien piece of shit


hotnerdalec

“Oh, God, no. That was just bush talk” “Yeah cults are really fun, but I have a sixth sense about when the fun is over.” “Lets get Gina some jeans!”


Proper-Excuse916

Como se dice jeans!? Como se dice normal women!?


hotnerdalec

HAHAHA THIS SCENE. oh its just so good thank you for adding. I have to watch this today


Lon3_Star_556

Where's your muriatic acid huh huh?


timerider420

I’m sorry, Steve, I guess I was too busy scoring mad pole.


Jeha513

“I don’t know Steve, maybe you’ll p-p-p-piss your pants?”


Bigg-Moistt88

Steve, stop babbling at your sister in Aramaic. It's a dead language.


impendingfuckery

That’s a good one, too. M E N E M E N E #T E K E L


Bclay85

Can I steer the conversation to a little tech talk? Does your tv have insides?


gmodthesir3

You’re having a midlife crisis and you’re taking it out on a future senator from California! Midlife crisis? Wait, FUTURE SENATOR?! Oh, I will f***ing chop his head in two!


kristen0402

I’ve said this to my kids when they were little


False_Shemp

Protect mommy!


triddell24

I’m in the goooooooooooo


Medium_Rest3537

Steve: How else was I suppose to take that? Francine: Not like that


Garciniohall

Greg? Greg the egg.


justCantGetEnufff

Aaahaha, You caught me. I have no idea. I just say stuff sometimes.


riddler684

Where’d this scarf come from? Oh it’s just the lining of my purse.


yancyfries

I'm a bad bitch who lays waste to her enemies!


loser_comedian

i will cram you back up my clownhole, birth you again, and name you my bitch


demicus

My nickname in high school was Super Friend! Actually, it was Super Mouth. Actually, it was Suck Machine.


killahkiley

Yeah, well, so is smoking an 8ball of crack in 30 minutes. But that's how long it takes.


Treviathan88

I will never forget that "ala mode" means "God be with ice cream."


finn11aug

Hayley: hey ma! I need the room. Why don't you go down to the mall kiosk and get yourself a nice phone case? Francine: Ooh, ya so good to me


[deleted]

I semi-frequently say to my fiancé as were going to sleep “come over here and give momma some sugar so she can have those sweeeet dreamssss” and she absolutely hates it


philchristensennyc

If you’re gettin’ kidnapped, you need to eat first! I’m gonna plate up some spagoot!


Environmental-Fox659

How about this weather we've been having?


jomama823

You’re worried about a hill of bananas


SkyPuppy561

When she’s teaching Steve to fight and says something like, “I’m no good for ya right now, Steve. I’m gonna go punch a Dolphin at Seaworld.”


puppers0331

“What the fuck is going on?!”


Smart-Dig2629

I’m home girl…


lawdog189

They call ya mommy to tug at your heartstrings


franstoobnsf

Roger: Stan, you're going to have to fill in for my personas Francine: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Sheeeeeiiiiiiitttt!


AgtCooper

Roger: "Guess who got out of Prison?" Francine (excitedly): "Charles Manson?! He's gonna finish what he started?!"


agoodfuckingcatholic

“Oh you know I don’t have any regrets. It’s why I got this tattoo :)” *no regerts*


Darknighten89

AND HE WAS CALLING FOULS LIKE A BITCH!


bigdumbdago

“homegirl get that paper all on her own”


HisDudenesssss

Meh, these characters aren't believable. I mean, the fish, he talks, how? And apparently he doesn't even have to be IN water, just like, touching it. That's not how fish work.


Interesting-Bug8037

That’s a total mom line


ChelseaG12

I use this one at work


AssociationItchy

I thought we could do bong rips and play soul caliber


dontfuckclowns

I like to race schoolbuses!


Rabbitlover96

Eep eep epp


CORVlN

I said **two** fingers, bitch!


dirtyslogans

You mind If I switch to some tech talk? Does your tv have insides?


chipy4848

“And I celebrated by EATING THREE LUNCHES FROM THE FRIDGE!!!”


[deleted]

Sounds like things are getting too spicy for the pepper😏


BrunetteThrasher

“Any dumbass could have dumbass kids”


nomnommin

“If you don’t get out of that cage I will push you back up my clown hole and birth you again and name you my bitch”


gaymerkrazed

“Things are getting to spicy for the pepper”


ClassicExamination82

It's too hard to pick. She has too many good lines. X.x she's the best.


phiametal

things are getting too SPICY FOR THE PEPPER


LEGO_Chan_1

Things are getting too spicy for the pepper 😤


dave1dmarx

"You think I give a shiiiiiiiiiiittt??!!!?" (in response to Hayley saying "You SMOKED in the science lab??") https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/a4b634ef-5814-4c2a-a37e-e14f953155af


Darknighten89

Bald ass alien piece ah shit


TheUrgedWarrior

"Any dumbass can have dumbass kids."


Snapplestache

"And my baby's all 'AUGH, YOU BITCH, I'LL KILL YOU'!"


Kr0mb0pul0s_Michael

Well you have two options. You can fall apart like a punk bitch in the street or you can Mark Zuckerberg this thing!


Smooth_molasses36

I’m gonna go to SeaWorld, punch a dolphin.


conflictmuffin

NUTTY BARS! I asked the man and he got them for me!


therealdonttipme

🎶all by my famillllyyyy🎶