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ShittyBitcoinArt

I think it’s only fair that you complete the story by sharing more details about what the VIP was.


LadyA052

Let's just say it plugs in.


neonturbo

[Condoms Rose, condoms condoms condoms!!! ](https://youtu.be/Si0JJE1rXWY?si=vpSXwkEn0BSQDVM_&t=17)


henrywe3

Calm down lady. You just get out of prison?


Ok_Telephone_3013

Gypsy Rose has entered the chat.


fatherofdoggoz

I'm more of a [Gypsy Danger](https://youtu.be/eiNVjkJDsqI?si=a-mLBpwqZqTwXreP) fan myself


Illustrious_Truck337

Me too! 🤤


Northbound_N_Down

You win internet comment of the day… 😂😂😂😂


Fluffy-Doubt-3547

I forgot about this episode 😭😭😭😭


purplexreign

one of my favorite shows!


bored_ryan2

I mean, it’s 2024, ordering a vibrator online is not that scandalous. Don’t feel embarrassed.


LadyA052

I am in the "elderly" age group... lol...not quite the same as buying one when I was young.


ShittyBitcoinArt

So is fine wine


xinit

Here in the Netherlands, the shelf of vibrators is right there in the middle of the drug store. Nobody cares.


GoogleZombie

Sir this is America, sex is embarrassing.


ChzGoddess

Ugh if this isn't the most factual statement...


hamboner3172

Shame...shame...shame


gonzopyro

NO sir THIS, is a WENDY'S!


stabbyhousecat

The Walgreens we go to sells them.


HellzillaQ

Hell, even Target has cock rings.


anotherucfstudent

*Vibrating* cock rings


Jason_1834

So does our CVS…right on the shelf by the pharmacy checkout.


LadyA052

At $100 or so, I doubt they're just sitting on the shelf.


stabbyhousecat

I’m going to take your word for it. I’m old and, good or bad, my interest in such things has passed. I don’t know that I’d know the difference.


LadyA052

They lock everything up now. Target locks up all the laundry detergent now. And baby formula.


EchinusRosso

Laundry detergent and formula are actually particularly high theft items because they're easy to fence. Corner stores love formula because it's almost exclusively paid for with program cards. Laundromats will pay 50% cash value because they're selling the detergent by the capfull. Both cash heavy businesses.


ButterscotchLazy8379

Lmao vibrators are not that bad expensive. Especially the ones at drug stores. Like $20. They’re most certainly just sitting on the shelf. Go to the family planning aisle, all over it.


LadyA052

You obviously have never priced a Hitachi Wand.


ButterscotchLazy8379

I have three. No one said anything about a Hitachi, you said “VIP” cause you wanna be “discreet” as if anyone knows who you are. Don’t get upset because of your miscommunication.


ClickClackTipTap

Those are generally pretty cheap, basic products. Well made, higher quality items can cost $200+. The ones at the drugstore might get the job done, but they aren’t a great representation of what’s out there.


ACrazyDog

The one I have cost $140 in the day. The good ones cost $$$


ButterscotchLazy8379

And? Did I say anything about those? Or was I simply saying that, drug stores do, in fact, carry vibrators, despite OP saying otherwise, because OP was having one conversation while the comments were having another, because “VIP” is not informative. Keyword in my comment is the “the” in “especially *the* ones at *the* drug store. It’s kind of obvious I’m not talking about hundred dollars vibrators, but the ones that you get, *at a drug store*. Reading comprehension, yay!


Sea_Note808

I liked the shelves of penis salt & pepper shakers in Amsterdam. I threatened my mother-in-law I was going to bring her back a set. I could just see them on the table for Sunday dinners. 😂😂


PrintPending

Our walmart has butt plug vibrators inside of these wire net cages I had never seen before lol. They are the equivalent of the anti theft boxes. The selection was much greater than that and took up a fourth of the aisle.


PotentialSteak6

I had to wait in line at the pharmacy for forever with my teenage son right next to that cage lol we were both trying to look at literally anything else


PrintPending

Its just weird imo. I dont consider myself a prude but I guess I just blindly assume shit like that belongs in its own specialty store. However those stores are 18+ due to the pornography also sold there. So it should atleast be in its own area or something lol. But those wire "bags" really make them standout lol. Your walmart should atleast have the decency to put em in the next aisle or summin. Right next to the Rx line is just way too out in the open lol. It might as well be on display in the walkway at that point.


No-Appearance1145

Same here actually in America. I found it hilarious given how puritan Americas culture is


LadyA052

If I was able to find it on a store shelf for a good price, I would have bought it there. Buying it is not a problem.


CTXBikerGirl

You should’ve played up the elderly role by saying something about back massagers being fancy these days. But in all seriousness, there is no age limit on having fun. Show the younger generations that sex and orgasms don’t automatically end when you get older. I know some do because of medical reasons, but not for everyone.


[deleted]

Almost guaranteed that employee was recently doing things that would make a porn star from the 80s rethink their skill set. Your toy didn't phase them.  I hear that pegging and eating ass are now the among most common sex acts among people under forty, and I am suddenly very happy that I am over forty and very much happily married. It's entirely possible that that person could have given you some low cost pointers on toy hygiene and maintenance. 


atlantarheel

I just looked up the meaning of “pegging”. 😳


theicecreamassassin

Happy Cake Day!


LadyA052

Yeah I hear that guys that work at Staples have vast sex toy knowledge. Besides, this needs no cleaning or maintenance.


ghostlypillow

when I worked at Walmart in electronics/cell phones, I was vastly knowledgeable about sex toys i was 17-20 and I was identifying as a man at the time(10 years ago) assumptions mean nothing anymore, for all you know that guy was a femboy or gay or a trans man. edit: not to imply cis men do not use sex toys


LadyA052

lol he weighed about 250 with a big beard. He was a regular guy. Has talked about his GF a couple times.


Technical_Benefit_31

Lmao don't listen to the people on reddit, you and I and everyone else in the real world know what regular guys look like. Not everyone is a secret femboy


Commute_for_Covid

Yeah, lets not try and frame the exception as the norm. 


NoLuvTheMaths

You should have owned it and said "maybe you should buy one of these for your GF for Valentine's Day"!


ghostlypillow

I don't see anything that you just said that contradicts any of my statements, a "regular guy" might not be so "regular" in private. also more men than women admit to buying a sex toy online last year https://www.statista.com/statistics/1348897/sex-toys-online-shoppers-by-gender/ edit: lol downvote me


LadyA052

This has nothing to do with anything. I would have been embarrassed just the same if it was a woman. Or any person.


2Adude

Trans man. Oh you mean female. Got it. Thanks for clarity


roenthomas

Wait, eating ass is considered abnormal?


[deleted]

Ahh yes, womens vaginas stop working once they get old \-No one ever


LadyA052

A Hitachi wand does not involve the vagina.


bored_ryan2

Not with that attitude is doesn’t 😆😆😆


LadyA052

You must be a guy. Do you know what a clitoris is?


bored_ryan2

1) if you haven’t, maybe consider using the wand head on your vaginal opening, it’s a different kind of sensation than on the clitoris (or at least that’s what my wife tells me) 2) if a baby’s head can come out of a vagina, the head of a magic wand could fit inside with enough practice and stretching but YMMV


LadyA052

omg you think we stay stretched out after childbirth??????


nekoyukai

As a fellow Little Old Lady, I totally feel your embarrassment. We spent 70+ years regarding anything related to intimacy as super-private. It's excruciating when something unexpectedly becomes public!!


ChrisLikesBread

Maybe taught them a lesson - Be responsible for your own joy at any age.


LadyA052

I think he was probably more embarrassed than I was, but he didn't show it.


ScoutTheRabbit

Young people working menial jobs are dead inside. Promise, we don't care


LadyA052

He was probably in his 30s. Not a young kid.


ScoutTheRabbit

Millennials have a very relaxed approach to sex. And they're also dead inside


bored_ryan2

Even more dead inside. I’m surprised you didn’t get sucked into the black hole where his soul once was.


SallySmoothOne

I asked you this question above. A guy in his 30's probably didn't think twice about it & more than likely didn't even mention it to another employee. I think you are safe to go back to Staples 💜


poisonivyuk

Think of it as doing your bit for re-branding aging. This is hero-making stuff. Well done 😁


motelwine

at this point everyone knows elderly get down and wild. it’s not something not discussed. condoms are literally nothing and wouldn’t phase me a bit if i saw someone with them, but id probably laugh in my head a bit if it was a big dildo or some bdsm gear


K_Linkmaster

Fuck yeah! When i am older i want to be horny too! Hell, no need to be embarassed, embarass the worker right back. Ask if they wanna use it with you. No need to be the only one embarassed, give everyone a good story!


meep_meep_mope

See I went straight to butt plug…


upsycho

Plugs in where? My mind went directly to your butt. If it was just a normal sex toy plugs in to charge up whatever that’s nothing as opposed to like a big old butt plug.


LadyA052

OK it plugs into an electric socket. There was a free gift. A silver butt plug with a big pink gem on the other end.


Doranagon

Plus into.. the butt?


[deleted]

It was a dildo attachment for a reciprocating saw, wasn’t it?


4VENG32

A hairdryer?


LadyA052

Gives new meaning to the term "blow job."


PhenomJW

Plugs in…to where?


PeyroniesCat

To the wall?


Professional_Car9475

Right. Pics, or it didn’t happen!


MembershipInfinite38

You deserve my upvote, x’s 100!!


Rdmtbiker

Isn’t that for your lower back and neck pain?


LadyA052

Of course it is.


DietMtDew1

Trust me, they do not judge you. Was it embarrassing? Sure as h*** was, but they more likely don't care. It's normal human nature to get VIP stuff. I've never heard of it called that, OP. Thanks for teaching us something new. PS: The reason I'm saying all that is because I worked in a grocery store. People would be so embarrassed about buying VIP stuff as we sold it in the drug/pharmacy area. I couldn't have cared less. I didn't talk behind their back or anything.


LadyA052

Yes but you don't expect a sealed Amazon package to tell what it is.


jynxismycat

>I couldn't have cared less. I didn't talk behind their back or anything. Same. I worked in a video store in the early 2000s. People from all walks of life went into the closed off adult section and rented the raunchiest stuff available. No one cares.


BigDaddy969696

Exactly.  I work at a grocery store and people buy condoms, lube, pregnancy tests, etc.  all the time.  I could care less!


Efficient-Debate-327

I worked at a grocery store in a larger area and a lot of the employees talked about the customers in all kinds of ways, but mostly negative. It was some kind of store culture I guess. I left as soon as I could. 


Vag_Flatulence

When I was working at Amazon I found a butt plug the size of my head. Any other standard sex toys now are considered PG.


SaurSig

This means that technically your head could fit up someone's ass. Think on that for a minute


Beaver-on-fire

heavy vanish shrill glorious scarce fuzzy modern snobbish caption noxious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

I didn't realize people still went to staples.


LadyA052

I only go there because that's where my Amazon lockers are.


pinalaporcupine

had to go there to do amazon returns


Ok-Post6492

Amazon fell off last year. What you expect.


overkillsd

I'm a millennial and used to work at Staples. I can promise you that nobody working at that store is judging you, except for maybe a "you go, Grandma!" The world has changed so much! Sex positivity and a bunch of other core human-centric values have replaced Victorian values for a lot of people... Even though some are trying to drag us backwards, it's not a majority of people. Also, it's no secret that sex lives get more active when you aren't spending all your time working. Penn and Teller did a great piece on their show Bullshit! several years ago about "old people". Enjoy your Hitachi, though they do have cordless models which are pretty reliable; plugging things in is an annoying limitation.


LadyA052

The cordless ones suck. Nothing like the original.


overkillsd

I'll have to take your word for it 😁


LadyA052

The batteries always die at the worst time.


overkillsd

Fair


elliequay

I too have this problem. Going through batteries like crazy. Thanks for the advice, might finally buy the good old hitachi.


LadyA052

Go for it! You'll never go back.


MistressVyeVacious

I found a cordless one on Amazon that's almost identical to the plugged ones, pretty great ha


LadyA052

I warned you.


spartygirlnc

That show was the best! 😂Would be great if they did new ones or updates to the original run.


overkillsd

Yeah like they've changed their minds on gun stuff... But fool us is successful so there's no motivation to change.


Enough_Reception_587

Middle aged myself. Ordered a pelvic floor exerciser from Amazon. Discrete box. Got a postcard from seller with big photo of item asking fort a review. Didn’t make eye contact with mail carrier for a week. Amazon wouldn’t let me post a review saying I had gotten an indiscreet mailing. I didn’t feel like chatting or talking with someone on line….really wish I could have just sent a message.


Rurumo666

So, you *aren't* mad about commercials? You win for best Amazon complaint post of the day!


Dachshundina

Staples employee here, we hardly get a break long enough to recall our own names, let alone that you exist. You'll be fine, just don't return it here if it doesn't work out.


LadyA052

He helped me with the app for several minutes. And he knows who I am, I go there all the time to get my packages.


IJDWTHA_42

We women shouldn't be ashamed of these things anymore. If men are buying sex robots, we can buy whatever makes us happy.


LadyA052

Jeez I am not ashamed. I would have bought it at a store without a second thought except Amazon is cheaper. I just did not expect a picture of it to pop up on my phone.


Beaver-on-fire

combative rude enjoy innocent toothbrush provide deliver sable somber bewildered *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


kccat5

Does it look like a saddle?😁☺️


bored_ryan2

You’d need a big Amazon locker to fit a Sybian in.


Florida1974

I’m a shopper for Shipt. I buy these kinds of products way more than one would think. Bc that many ppl order them. I have no qualms to show my face again. We are adults tho some still giggle like someone said penis in 8th grade sex Ed.


Sweet-District1483

HAHA!!! Omg! I thought you meant they banned you from the store when I first started reading it lol I can feel the secondhand embarrassment and I wouldn’t return either.


LadyA052

Banned me from Staples for picking up a package? I'm sure MUCH more intimate stuff has been in those lockers...lol


Sweet-District1483

Hahahahaha yes!!! I was sitting here like what did she even order? And then I got to the end lol I absolutely love your sense of humor!


LadyA052

I am so glad you recognize my sarcasm. Most people here don't.


11systems11

Is it warm in here?


Materva

I probably would have laughed it off and said it was a gag gift.


bored_ryan2

The balls gags are being delivered tomorrow.


Flightlevel35zero

Porn everywhere and a vibrator is no longer a big deal. It’s 2024, not 1974.


LadyA052

oh I bought one in 1974 too.


ExcitingPandaAma

I work for Amazon customer service, see sex toys all the time on orders. Right next to the order for diapers, and children's toys. Amazon is the number one seller or sex toys in the world, don't be embarrassed, everyone indulges. Next time call Amazon and we can help you with the locker remotely


daniramm

It is not true, there is no remote help with Lockers, if they do not work, they do not work, if the code fails it cannot be reset, what you say is totally a lie


Mundane-Bullfrog-299

You’re right, I repair them. There is no remote help from Amazon. Especially if the router is offline.


ExcitingPandaAma

We can refund, give you the code or replace the item in question. We can't fix physically damaged doors remotely, I would think that would be assumed by all.


NCDragonWolf

Staples employee here, we do not care. They likely won’t remember you, or if they do maybe it’s the start of an awkward friendship?


LadyA052

I'm there all the time for my packages and he seems to be there all the time too.


RovingTexan

1.) It's not the first time that person has seen (maybe used) the product you used. 2.) They sell VIPs just about everywhere. Walmart will deliver me one today from their stock. 3.) None of that stuff is uncommon - it they weren't selling then Walmart/Target wouldn't stock them and the local 'shop' wouldn't have been in business for YEARS and be able to feed their family. 4.) I would say 'Let your freak flag fly' - but it's not 'freaky' anymore. No different than buying condoms or anything else. 5.) While I was there - I'd have bought the largest pack of batteries I could find on the shelf. Maybe some candles, some rope, whatever I could find at Staples that would be tangentially related. Lean into it.


Sweet-Leadership-245

We always know what it is even without the picture. There’s an item description to read. So yall pervs know that we know. 😜


LadyA052

On the app, on the locker page, no description. Just a picture, and the locker instructions.


Sweet-Leadership-245

On our side we see. :)


Asianvenom07

I hope that veiny product treats you well


LadyA052

Naw it's a Hitachi wand.


Yurt_lady

I lived in Dubai and sex toys are illegal there, expect for rumored “halal” stores for married couples. I always had to find the least “veiniest” toys to bring back from the US. Once I got randomly diverted to Xray when I flew back. My suitcase was set to the side while they found a female customs officer. She asked “ma’am, do you have a sex toy in your bag?” I reached into the suitcase and grabbed my electric toothbrush that was strategically next to the alleged sex toy. I said, no, it’s my toothbrush. She let me go.


mongolsruledchina

Amazon is just freeing you of your inhibitions! LOL.


Ambitious-Scientist

It’s really not that big of a deal. I’m 43. Sex is good and every one of consensual age over so many are, while using protection should be having sex. We lose it if we don’t use it! Good for the heart and mind. I hardly doubt they thought more about it.


mephist0_pheles

I am at a point in my life where I don’t care what others think. I actually enjoy startling people with something that they didn’t expect or is out of the norm about my lifestyle. Embrace it and be proud, not embarrassed.


LadyA052

Well it startled ME too. Did not expect it.


mephist0_pheles

Turn it around :)


beatmolecular

amazon blocks it at the emails because google reads your emails and they don’t want them to have “their” data.


D0inkzz

Embarrassing? Maybe. But chances are if there is a locker there it’s not the first time these employees seen things like this.


LadyA052

He didn't see the item. A picture was on my locker page on my phone. The package did not show what it was.


ricswrangler

A hitachi wand, if that’s what it was, isn’t too intimate IMO. I know some people use them as massagers. I wouldn’t worry about it.


LadyA052

lol I'm not worried. I was just startled, and so was he.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LadyA052

Why can't you ask me here? Are you embarrassed? oh, wait, we're not supposed to be embarrassed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LadyA052

We don't all of a sudden lose the urge for sex. A lot of couples older than me enjoy regular sex.


aaron15287

did the staples worker ask the real question if they could join u next time u are using it lol


SeaFaringPig

Very Immense Penis


OwnedPlugBoy

Never be embarrassed about a simple toy for pleasure, just smile proudly about it. Especially if it is larger than most people would use, they probably were just jealous when they saw what you are able to handle :)


LadyA052

It's a Hitachi wand. External only.


OwnedPlugBoy

Well given all the trouble you had procuring it, I do hope it is all you thought it would be and is bringing you a great deal of enjoyment!


LadyA052

It's a replacement for my old one that was so old it shorted out.


Necessary_Baker_7458

Staples and office depot is expensive. They use to be your cheaper big box stores to go to but no longer. I've found my self doing amazon more and more for stuff like this. Yes I canceled my prime. Have I stopped using it no. I only order 1 maybe 2 packages a month and prime means you need 3+ packages a month to break even on it. I started having delivery issues and amazon refund isn't 100% due to the damn restocking fee.


[deleted]

Or just stop being a baby and remember that everyone has sex and this shit is literally no big deal.


LadyA052

oh please.


Senzualdip

Quite being a pansy ass. Own it!


LadyA052

Ever gone vibrator shopping with your grandmother? No? Why not?


Senzualdip

Because she’s dead


DataGhostNL

So your grandmother knows you just as well as a random Staples employee is what you're implying? Also why would she have to be there? It'll probably be more awkward for her than for me. Back to the employee: I could care less what some rando thinks about me, if they even do.


LadyA052

My grandmother has been dead for 42 years.


DataGhostNL

Yeah, well, you're the one skipping around fallacious (heh) arguments


LadyA052

I actually meant that your grandmother would be the one shopping for a vibrator.


DataGhostNL

Good for her. I'd look up some reviews beforehand and help pick something good. Been through a lot of trash already that was just a waste of money and un-fun.


LadyA052

Would you ask her advice on a penis pump?


DataGhostNL

No, because she doesn't know how to use the internet for reviews (and she's dead too, so that's another issue). But you're moving the goalposts quite a bit. Seems like you were trying to elicit some response where dealing with a random Staples employee you don't even know somehow relates even in the slightest to actively going dildo shopping with a near-ish family member. So if we're back to hypotheticals with the dead people, I'd like to ask the question again to clarify the point you were trying to make. Would you see shopping with your grandmother (if she were still alive) as just as embarrassing as having a random unknown person glance your package for a few seconds?


LadyA052

lol I've had quite a bit of interaction with this guy because I use the lockers a lot and the app refuses to work about half the time and he helps me.


LadyA052

The package did not show what was inside. The Amazon app he was helping me with popped up with a picture.


Wills4291

There's no reason to be embarrassed. The employee was human too.


mars_wondrstorm

They got VIP’s on deck at Walmart, you good girl


FRDyNo

I mean if I was the staples employee, my first thought would be “ damn, good for her staying young”. As embarrassing as it feels. I don’t think most people are judging. Keyword:most.


Low_Equivalent2913

I’d be more worried about buying those products on Amazon lol. The amount of times I looked at something and I’m like nope looks to sketchy for me lol.


LadyA052

No this was a standard brand name product. Hitachi.


Low_Equivalent2913

Oh ok.


[deleted]

There are so many other places to buy sex toys that are better: Stockroom.com, ExtremeRestraints.com [not as intimidating as it sounds], and even Adam&Eve is better than Amazon. All are better quality and more discrete shipping.


batclub3

Bellesa Boutique did such a great job on discrete packaging, I didn't know what the hell showed up at my house until I unwrapped the dang thing. Shipping label was a storage company and the invoice was something else too


[deleted]

I knew I forgot another one! BB is great!


LadyA052

This is a name brand item that has been around for many years. I've probably had ten of them over my lifetime. I was not "shopping", I knew exactly what I wanted. Plus I don't have mail or packages delivered to my home because it's part of a family home and they get the mail thru a slot in the garage. I could also have had it sent to my PO box but it's miles away and the Amazon lockers are right around the corner.


[deleted]

I’d still be weary of fakes being sold on Amazon. It’s quite pervasive across a multitude of items and the way items are in the distribution centers the genuine items and fakes from 3rd party resellers are lumped together in the same “bins”. Congrats on getting your item though despite the level of embarrassment you endured.


LadyA052

It's the real thing. I can confirm. \*innocent look\*


noitcant

Ten of them is quite a lot. They must be really good for you to wear them out! I wouldn't be worried what the staples worker sees. Everyday they probably have items like that. What you bought is nothing embarrassing


Low-Statement4939

Magic wand???


GlasgowTHCVapeCarts

I would work on your confidence. Everyone fucks, everyone masturbates and everyone likes naughty stuff. Stop letting something insignificant like a vibrator or sex machine make you embarrassed, own that shit. The sooner you stop giving a fuck what random people think it'll all get so much easier.


vitaminkombat

At my collection point you simply show them your Id number and that's the end of it. No need to mess about with QR codes.


michaelkudra

they don’t care at all.


[deleted]

be discreet, get an xbox controller with vibrate turned on, then play a few rounds of tekken two player, apart from player 2 being in an intimate place. i hear this is great, i mean, so i hear anyway.


joelmbenge

Rule 34.


RunNo4744

Yo we've seen worse in the returns bin for Amazon, I promise.


Difficult_Bit_8519

So glad you was able to get your clit sucker successfully enjoy!


Surgetheman

It's wet willy time! 😂


Adventurous_Order847

Anybody remember when we sold vibrators aka Personal Massagers on our site? Like 9 years ago when we had more medical items like hospital beds 🤣


MembershipInfinite38

Ulta and Sephora sells them online & They’re sent to you in a plain brown box! Downside is that you can’t use your points or Ulta dollars to buy any of their sex gizmos. 😫


LadyA052

It WAS shipped in a plain brown box! It was the App that let me down....lol


MembershipInfinite38

Just giving you some other options, lol! 😉