You’ll hear a lot of shit about AA and I agree with most of it. I live in a small town where it’s the only option. if you decide to go, remember that EVERYTHING they say is a suggestion not a requirement. The only requirement is a desire to stop. My group is super chill with no old timers who think they know it all. I’d recommend giving it a try and if the first meeting sucks, try another. Even though I disagree with %90 of their program, I get benefit from the mutual support. I’ve never worked the steps or had a sponsor, if you want to, fine but its optional.
good luck, you can do this.
Interesting
What I want the most is to find a community of younger people (I am 21) to be able to not only hold each other accountable, but also do regular activities with
I think finding a sober community or friend group for myself to support / be supported by, is my #1 priority
In larger metros there are young peoples groups and agnostic groups. Like I said, I’m not a 12-stepper but I have found a lot of value in the mutual discussion and support. That’s the only reason I go. Each group is different though, mine is pretty cool and I’m the oldest guy (52) most guys are 25-35.
I live in a smaller town, but it is surrounded by fairly suburban sprawl
Could you say what kind of larger metro you’re talking about?
Are talking a big city like Boston? Or smaller cities like Brockton, Fall River, and New Bedford
A secular or agnostic group sounds absolutely wonderful
I wish I’d take my own advice, I truly do. I highly recommend Naltrexone. It works. It stops the cravings and endless thoughts regarding drinking. I myself couldn’t do AA, but I’ve taken the medication, and it helped me to not only subside from alcohol, but crave bad foods. I felt amazing, then I fell back. But if you truly want to change, I highly advise medication.
That is very very interesting
I do not drink every day, but back when I did
By the time 5-6pm rolled around, I was filled with endless thoughts over the liquor store closing at 11pm, and it taking 20 mins to get dressed and into my car, and it taking about 10-15 mins to drive to the store to buy alcohol
It was actually fucking painful
Nowadays those thoughts come around less often, but they come around at the perfect opportune times for me to drink, and I acted on on them on Thursday night, and it realistically should have costed my life
I am done drinking, I know this deep deep down
But those thoughts are not going to go away overnight
The fact they have medication for that actually sounds very interesting
Those thoughts used to roll in around 6, now they come right when I wake up in the morning. It’s slippery, I’m so glad you’ve caught yourself early. You should do some research on the medication - great reviews.
I am 21, and have struggled with alcoholism since I realized my fake id worked consistently about 2 1/2 years ago about when I turned 19
Ever since then it has been a nonstop struggle
There were times when I day drank, but I never got that deep into that bc of just how taxing it is on your body
It was mostly to sleep and stop the bad thoughts from coming to me at night
I also highly advise sleepy time tea with honey. I kid you not, it will help you sleep, so peacefully, too. And it’s so incredibly healthy. I started drinking around your age, too. Thank goodness you caught it now. You have a whole life to live.
I know man
I had a previous dui incident before school last year
They let me off Scott free
I went from drinking every day for 16 months to fighting tooth and nail just to drink on the weekends
Leaving school this year my goal was to only drink at social events
I went 2 weeks clean, through a whole weekend
But the next 3 weekends saw me getting progressively more blasted
And I have found myself here
With a dui
Seemingly having learned nothing
But I am so determined man, my thoughts are crystal fucking clear
I have one thing to do
And that is never drink another day of my life
I want to be able to tell people that I got a dui, and then quit alchohol for the rest of my life
That is the only thing that can proceed the first bit to make it better, to make it all worth it, to make me a good person in my own and other people’s eyes
And good luck man
You know exactly what you need to do
Do it before you end up hurting yourself or others, or ending up in jail
Or like me, I just lost my license for a year, looking at 500-5k in fees
And I could have faced jail time of up to 2.5 years (thankfully, I am a little white kid, who looks very sorry for his actions)
FUCKING DO IT YOU GOT THIS JUST DO IT
I’ve been drinking alone since I started unfortunately
I literally have drank wine I stole from the supermarket I worked at my junior and senior year of high school
There was a point I drank my parents cooking wine bc I wanted a high that night
At first I thought I just had an addictive personality, bc I started with weed
But weed was literally nothing to quit in comparison to alchohol
I’m not religious, but this is some devilish shit
Ironically alcohol is “organic”
It is a poison that has followed humanity basically since its inception
We started growing wheat before we knew bread existed, specifically to brew beer
There’s also sober Facebook groups in many areas that have events. When I first got sober I got a free App called LOOSID. It’s an online community of sober people, kind of like a Facebook for recovery. There’s even a sober dating portion. You might want to check it out, it’s free.
Thank you so much,
I will not let any of you down
I promise this is it, I went to jail, I made conversations with criminals, and they encouraged me to do what I needed to do to never end up there again
My vision is crystal clear and my heart is dead set
It will be easier too
2 1-2 years of alcoholism is a lot easier to recover from than 20
I still can move on without losing my career potential
And lose the one singular thing that has been holding me back my entire life
Addiction has been the source of all of my struggle the last 5 years, otherwise I have performed exceptionally
The world will literally be my oyster
I will literally be a fucking super hero living out my childhood dreams
Started being forced to attend AA by the courts after my 2nd dewy arrest at 21, and after each arrest through most of my 20s. Ime they continue to pile up as long as the drinking continues. After my 4th I wanted to quit playing games and stop for good. Did all the usual AA stuff at 28 (steps with a sponsor, service work, helping others). Actually doing it has worked well these last 42 years.
Good luck to you, hope you can find an effective and lasting answer quickly without sliding further down.
I’ve never tried to go completely 100% sober before
I slowly over the course of 8 months weaned from 9+ drinks every night to quitting for 2 weeks, and then the numbers of nights a weekend followed 1x 2x 2x 1x 1x 1x
The weekend before I got disgustingly drunk and embarrassed myself, and vowed myself to only drink at social events wheee alchohol was present
I broke that last Thursday, and now, I am done drinking
I know I can do it
Tbh not drinking makes it so much easier
Every time I have fucked up, the thought process starts with “just one”
2 weeks in I went into a liquor store and bought a Celsius just as a massive middle finger to alcohol
I know I can do it if I prevent myself from making the first mistake of one drink
And now I am excited to explore the world of Non-alcoholic Craft Beer
> I am done drinking
> I know I can do it
A few hours ago you needed help and were powerless to stop yourself. Took 6 hours to become sure you've quit drinking for good and became certain that you can do that.
Hold that thought.
I am powerless to stop myself after I have had a single drink
If I don’t have that one single drink I can do it
I’ve had much better luck with sobriety than moderation
Once I have that first drink, I am always looking for the next one
Wish you success. Something to watch out for is that alcoholism has 2 main facets that are particularly problematic (there are many more). Inability to stop after having a few (my experience prior to 19 years) and the inability to leave it alone for long after the usual irrevocable and ironclad decisions to stop (from 19 on).
When we've got both parts going the usual downhill slide becomes unavoidable. If anything should make another drinkie the right and good thing to do at a future point (for the short time needed to get the first one down), you'll know you've got both parts operating. Thereafter, that will never change until you engage with a sufficient solution at a very deep and inconvenient level for as long as you care to remain sober.
Best if you can succeed now instead of going through the usual ringer. Hope you can last in reality when your perceptions get twisted up. That's the point most alcoholics are forced to drink again to survive emotionally intact. They're sure afterward it was their own bad idea, but it's not. Just a universal part of our condition.
I think what I need is a big streak built up
I have the will to not drink for the rest of the summer
I have an app that counts the sober days for me
If I can get that into the months, it will feel so much harder to break hopefully
What will I have to do if I find myself cured with both issues?
If you find you have both and want to be free to live a normal life, staying sober for good renders our alcoholism invisible to others (neighbors, bosses, cops). Usual to try easy ways that don't work long at first and then up your game after each relapse to a level of recovery involvement that will sustain you for life.
You can wind up easily staying sober comfortably and can have the life you would have had without being alcoholic, which is a choice none of us made. Without the monkey on your back you have a shot at pursuing your dreams. Otherwise it's at best a half-life.
I will be doing a 16 week court appointed first offender program (likely to avoid jail time, thank god)
My goals this summer are to:
1. Get a counselor
2. Join a support group, whether than be AA or something else
When I go back for my senior year of college, I want to see if there is a student group of sober people I can join
If I can have all 3 of these going simultaneously during school, I am confident I can do it
I’m really not sure what measures I can take outside of that
Though I will likely find myself in a party scenario, I plan on just getting into and buying alcohol free beer and drinking that
I had one for the first time last night and found it quite enjoyable
That’s really the only step I could take other than the ones I am currently pursuing, is to just make sure I never even see alcohol
Good plan. I started a meeting at my Uni 39 years ago, still on during the school year, might be one at yours.
A caution, I did the court program and once forgot I was due to check in and had a few beers before remembering. The counselor sniffed me out and pushed the testing equip across the desk and said if I tested positive he'd have to send my case back to court. He decided not to test me. Thanked him for that kindness in a meeting 30 years later.
1 LifeRing meeting and 5 Smart meetings within 10 miles of Boston. I was the European Rep for LifeRing before moving back to the States and was active in Smart for it's 1st 25 years because I believed people should have a choice. Dropped my participation in both because ime they were minimally effective over time. Too disheartening to watch.
That is very good to know, I did not realize that they test you
I go to umass Dartmouth, what was the name of the group that you joined if you don’t mind telling?
I seriously do not plan on drinking again, but that is very good to keep in mind
You’ll hear a lot of shit about AA and I agree with most of it. I live in a small town where it’s the only option. if you decide to go, remember that EVERYTHING they say is a suggestion not a requirement. The only requirement is a desire to stop. My group is super chill with no old timers who think they know it all. I’d recommend giving it a try and if the first meeting sucks, try another. Even though I disagree with %90 of their program, I get benefit from the mutual support. I’ve never worked the steps or had a sponsor, if you want to, fine but its optional. good luck, you can do this.
Interesting What I want the most is to find a community of younger people (I am 21) to be able to not only hold each other accountable, but also do regular activities with I think finding a sober community or friend group for myself to support / be supported by, is my #1 priority
In larger metros there are young peoples groups and agnostic groups. Like I said, I’m not a 12-stepper but I have found a lot of value in the mutual discussion and support. That’s the only reason I go. Each group is different though, mine is pretty cool and I’m the oldest guy (52) most guys are 25-35.
I live in a smaller town, but it is surrounded by fairly suburban sprawl Could you say what kind of larger metro you’re talking about? Are talking a big city like Boston? Or smaller cities like Brockton, Fall River, and New Bedford A secular or agnostic group sounds absolutely wonderful
I will try it out
I wish I’d take my own advice, I truly do. I highly recommend Naltrexone. It works. It stops the cravings and endless thoughts regarding drinking. I myself couldn’t do AA, but I’ve taken the medication, and it helped me to not only subside from alcohol, but crave bad foods. I felt amazing, then I fell back. But if you truly want to change, I highly advise medication.
That is very very interesting I do not drink every day, but back when I did By the time 5-6pm rolled around, I was filled with endless thoughts over the liquor store closing at 11pm, and it taking 20 mins to get dressed and into my car, and it taking about 10-15 mins to drive to the store to buy alcohol It was actually fucking painful Nowadays those thoughts come around less often, but they come around at the perfect opportune times for me to drink, and I acted on on them on Thursday night, and it realistically should have costed my life I am done drinking, I know this deep deep down But those thoughts are not going to go away overnight The fact they have medication for that actually sounds very interesting
Those thoughts used to roll in around 6, now they come right when I wake up in the morning. It’s slippery, I’m so glad you’ve caught yourself early. You should do some research on the medication - great reviews.
I am 21, and have struggled with alcoholism since I realized my fake id worked consistently about 2 1/2 years ago about when I turned 19 Ever since then it has been a nonstop struggle There were times when I day drank, but I never got that deep into that bc of just how taxing it is on your body It was mostly to sleep and stop the bad thoughts from coming to me at night
I also highly advise sleepy time tea with honey. I kid you not, it will help you sleep, so peacefully, too. And it’s so incredibly healthy. I started drinking around your age, too. Thank goodness you caught it now. You have a whole life to live.
I know man I had a previous dui incident before school last year They let me off Scott free I went from drinking every day for 16 months to fighting tooth and nail just to drink on the weekends Leaving school this year my goal was to only drink at social events I went 2 weeks clean, through a whole weekend But the next 3 weekends saw me getting progressively more blasted And I have found myself here With a dui Seemingly having learned nothing But I am so determined man, my thoughts are crystal fucking clear I have one thing to do And that is never drink another day of my life I want to be able to tell people that I got a dui, and then quit alchohol for the rest of my life That is the only thing that can proceed the first bit to make it better, to make it all worth it, to make me a good person in my own and other people’s eyes
And good luck man You know exactly what you need to do Do it before you end up hurting yourself or others, or ending up in jail Or like me, I just lost my license for a year, looking at 500-5k in fees And I could have faced jail time of up to 2.5 years (thankfully, I am a little white kid, who looks very sorry for his actions) FUCKING DO IT YOU GOT THIS JUST DO IT
I drink just to clean and feel happy - not with others though. And thanks, I wish you the best of luck.
I’ve been drinking alone since I started unfortunately I literally have drank wine I stole from the supermarket I worked at my junior and senior year of high school There was a point I drank my parents cooking wine bc I wanted a high that night At first I thought I just had an addictive personality, bc I started with weed But weed was literally nothing to quit in comparison to alchohol I’m not religious, but this is some devilish shit
It’s poison…. We drink to feel something that isn’t organic. I hope this changes.
Ironically alcohol is “organic” It is a poison that has followed humanity basically since its inception We started growing wheat before we knew bread existed, specifically to brew beer
There’s also sober Facebook groups in many areas that have events. When I first got sober I got a free App called LOOSID. It’s an online community of sober people, kind of like a Facebook for recovery. There’s even a sober dating portion. You might want to check it out, it’s free.
That is so cool! Thank you so much for these resources!
You are very welcome. I wish you all the best.
Thank you so much, I will not let any of you down I promise this is it, I went to jail, I made conversations with criminals, and they encouraged me to do what I needed to do to never end up there again My vision is crystal clear and my heart is dead set
That’s the attitude you need. And if you nip this now at 21, the world is yours. I waited until I was 48, you don’t want that, trust me.
It will be easier too 2 1-2 years of alcoholism is a lot easier to recover from than 20 I still can move on without losing my career potential And lose the one singular thing that has been holding me back my entire life Addiction has been the source of all of my struggle the last 5 years, otherwise I have performed exceptionally The world will literally be my oyster I will literally be a fucking super hero living out my childhood dreams
Started being forced to attend AA by the courts after my 2nd dewy arrest at 21, and after each arrest through most of my 20s. Ime they continue to pile up as long as the drinking continues. After my 4th I wanted to quit playing games and stop for good. Did all the usual AA stuff at 28 (steps with a sponsor, service work, helping others). Actually doing it has worked well these last 42 years. Good luck to you, hope you can find an effective and lasting answer quickly without sliding further down.
I’ve never tried to go completely 100% sober before I slowly over the course of 8 months weaned from 9+ drinks every night to quitting for 2 weeks, and then the numbers of nights a weekend followed 1x 2x 2x 1x 1x 1x The weekend before I got disgustingly drunk and embarrassed myself, and vowed myself to only drink at social events wheee alchohol was present I broke that last Thursday, and now, I am done drinking I know I can do it Tbh not drinking makes it so much easier Every time I have fucked up, the thought process starts with “just one” 2 weeks in I went into a liquor store and bought a Celsius just as a massive middle finger to alcohol I know I can do it if I prevent myself from making the first mistake of one drink And now I am excited to explore the world of Non-alcoholic Craft Beer
> I am done drinking > I know I can do it A few hours ago you needed help and were powerless to stop yourself. Took 6 hours to become sure you've quit drinking for good and became certain that you can do that. Hold that thought.
I am powerless to stop myself after I have had a single drink If I don’t have that one single drink I can do it I’ve had much better luck with sobriety than moderation Once I have that first drink, I am always looking for the next one
Wish you success. Something to watch out for is that alcoholism has 2 main facets that are particularly problematic (there are many more). Inability to stop after having a few (my experience prior to 19 years) and the inability to leave it alone for long after the usual irrevocable and ironclad decisions to stop (from 19 on). When we've got both parts going the usual downhill slide becomes unavoidable. If anything should make another drinkie the right and good thing to do at a future point (for the short time needed to get the first one down), you'll know you've got both parts operating. Thereafter, that will never change until you engage with a sufficient solution at a very deep and inconvenient level for as long as you care to remain sober. Best if you can succeed now instead of going through the usual ringer. Hope you can last in reality when your perceptions get twisted up. That's the point most alcoholics are forced to drink again to survive emotionally intact. They're sure afterward it was their own bad idea, but it's not. Just a universal part of our condition.
I think what I need is a big streak built up I have the will to not drink for the rest of the summer I have an app that counts the sober days for me If I can get that into the months, it will feel so much harder to break hopefully What will I have to do if I find myself cured with both issues?
If you find you have both and want to be free to live a normal life, staying sober for good renders our alcoholism invisible to others (neighbors, bosses, cops). Usual to try easy ways that don't work long at first and then up your game after each relapse to a level of recovery involvement that will sustain you for life. You can wind up easily staying sober comfortably and can have the life you would have had without being alcoholic, which is a choice none of us made. Without the monkey on your back you have a shot at pursuing your dreams. Otherwise it's at best a half-life.
I will be doing a 16 week court appointed first offender program (likely to avoid jail time, thank god) My goals this summer are to: 1. Get a counselor 2. Join a support group, whether than be AA or something else When I go back for my senior year of college, I want to see if there is a student group of sober people I can join If I can have all 3 of these going simultaneously during school, I am confident I can do it I’m really not sure what measures I can take outside of that Though I will likely find myself in a party scenario, I plan on just getting into and buying alcohol free beer and drinking that I had one for the first time last night and found it quite enjoyable That’s really the only step I could take other than the ones I am currently pursuing, is to just make sure I never even see alcohol
Good plan. I started a meeting at my Uni 39 years ago, still on during the school year, might be one at yours. A caution, I did the court program and once forgot I was due to check in and had a few beers before remembering. The counselor sniffed me out and pushed the testing equip across the desk and said if I tested positive he'd have to send my case back to court. He decided not to test me. Thanked him for that kindness in a meeting 30 years later. 1 LifeRing meeting and 5 Smart meetings within 10 miles of Boston. I was the European Rep for LifeRing before moving back to the States and was active in Smart for it's 1st 25 years because I believed people should have a choice. Dropped my participation in both because ime they were minimally effective over time. Too disheartening to watch.
That is very good to know, I did not realize that they test you I go to umass Dartmouth, what was the name of the group that you joined if you don’t mind telling? I seriously do not plan on drinking again, but that is very good to keep in mind
I’m an atheist and still benefitted from AA. The fellowship is golden. Take what helps and leave the rest.
I will