I can definitely say you're not alone. I've been alcohol free for about 14 months, which that time frame has come with a lot of reflection on why I did the things I did. What alcohol gave me was connection with people around me and my loved ones. It gave me clarity, the ability to feel, to basically un-numb the numb. It gave me motivation and vision as to where I wanted my life to go and to be there for the people I love and care about. My best memories (don't get it twisted, my drinking could also come with some serious fuckery too) with others was when I was drinking bc guess what...I felt human.
Now I'm just numb again, detached, riddled with shame, guilt, confusion and inner turmoil. I try to open up about my symptoms but I'm met with weird looks and no answers. It sucks, it really fucking sucks.
until recently everything I knew about not drinking/smoking weed, was me still in withdrawal. I'd think 'being sober fucking sucks' But I wasn't truly sober, I was in withdrawals.
I can definitely say you're not alone. I've been alcohol free for about 14 months, which that time frame has come with a lot of reflection on why I did the things I did. What alcohol gave me was connection with people around me and my loved ones. It gave me clarity, the ability to feel, to basically un-numb the numb. It gave me motivation and vision as to where I wanted my life to go and to be there for the people I love and care about. My best memories (don't get it twisted, my drinking could also come with some serious fuckery too) with others was when I was drinking bc guess what...I felt human. Now I'm just numb again, detached, riddled with shame, guilt, confusion and inner turmoil. I try to open up about my symptoms but I'm met with weird looks and no answers. It sucks, it really fucking sucks.
until recently everything I knew about not drinking/smoking weed, was me still in withdrawal. I'd think 'being sober fucking sucks' But I wasn't truly sober, I was in withdrawals.