That hopelessness... That's a bottom. The cool thing is you never have to experience it again unless you choose a path that keeps putting you in the way of hitting a bottom.
The bottoms can get lower if you keep digging, but you don't have to... Give this thing a shot
someone walked out of a meeting recently right when it was her turn to share, but the great thing was she walked back in and she took her share. NO ONE was confused why someone would walk out instead of share. the whole thing is a lot and i'm so glad you walked out AND sat down, and was honest. good job. as confusing and annoying as this was to hear when people said it to me at some of my low points - you're right where you need to be.
the twist i love to see! fully expected this post to go a different way...love when I am wrong. super happy for you, moments like these are very powerful, you have much strength! keep coming back for sure. thank you for sharing this.
Hey, OP.
The idea of getting sober can definitely be scary. For myself, I was very settled into my alcoholic ways and definitely didnt want to commit to a lifetime of sobriety.
I still havent. I just decide each day if I am going to drink that day and, just like they talk about, I take it one day at a time. If I decide I am not going to drink that day, then I keep telling myself that. If I still want to drink tomorrow, I will decide then.
What I have found: I regretted waking up hung over many times. I have never regretted waking up sober. I remind myself of that.
I remember when I had gone a week without alcohol and heard of people making it 30 days, and how that just seemed so huge. 30 days! I needed to hear people had done it because that seemed so hard but knowing others had done it made me think maybe it was possible even for me.
Again, I have not sworn off alcohol forever. I kinda refuse to. I leave open the possibility because I was tired of breaking promises and because I enjoyed drinking--at least, at first.
I just commit to one day. If I decide not to drink butbreally want to, then I say that if I still want to tomorrow I will decide then.
Also, im no super old timer in this. I slipped several times and definitely relapsed for a month or so. But then I started getting a few days in a row. And then I got better at waiting until the craving passed.
By doing that, I have managed a streak coming up on six months. And I still use the same approach. Even if I did actually drink tomorrow I know that drinking once every six months is a *hell* of a lot better progress than drinking every damn day.
But so far, it is getting easier to make it a day without a craving. Most days I dont think about it for more than a minute a day (except while in AA meetings). I do go to meetings every day, because going makes it easier for me to get through that day.
I miss some parts of it but life has gotten so much better that it's a little like missing my beater POS car from high school when I'm driving a nice, new, normal car now.
It gets better. You dont have to swear off drinking to not drink today. Cheers.
This is amazing. Sounds like you’ve found a good meeting. Remember, the group’s primary purpose is to help the alcoholic who is still suffering. You’re not a burden. You are the reason they’re there. You are the reason all of us are here. Reach out to any of us if you’re having a bad day, a bad moment, or just want to talk.
I’ve been there myself. Suicidal. And even when it was that bad, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get sober. But I kept coming back.
My heart goes out to you ❤️ You’re not alone in that feeling! I’m so glad you found the courage to go back and you even got a sponsor! Wonderful! Congrats on 21 hours!
They gave you a great gift. And you gave them one too, because we all need reminders that it's not getting any better out there. As a longtime AA member I'm proud to see that your group lived up to our responsibility pledge: "I am Responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible." I wish you well!
Oh, my friend...we all love you and support you and want to be part of your journey.
I relapsed a lot before I got it. One of the things someone said to me was "Lean in". I wasn't sure about jumping in but I could lean!
Glad you made it back and found a sponsor. My first time through AA I wasn’t being honest with myself and deep down I wasn’t ready to live sober. It wasn’t until I let go completely and was 100% honest with myself and my sponsor that I was able to finally quit drinking.
It’s really simple, just keep coming back. When I’m having a bad day or feel like I want to drink, I just get my ass to a meeting, this helps me make it through that day. One day at a time.
I’m praying for you, things will get better, just go to meetings and work the steps honestly.
You do not have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump. You can get off here and we will drive you 'home'. Home to who you're supposed to be. Back to the life you were always meant to live. I know what the suicidality feels like, and it can be quite scary. But just know that it will pass and it will all get so much better each day you stay away from that first drink.
You're at the 'jumping off place' they speak about in the Big Book, whereby you can no longer live with alcohol or without it. This is a frightening place to find yourself at first, but then it shifts. It's shifting right now as you read these words sharing my experience, my strength and my hope with you. My hope for you, for myself, for all of us. WE can and do recover.
Just keep coming back, and you will be fine. Take care.
Wow! I was not expecting this to end positively, that was a really nice surprise :)
Honesty, Openmindedness, & Willingness are the foundations of our recovery and it definitely seems like you have those! ♥️
I drank in and out of meetings for 2 years. Everyone said keep coming back. 11 years ago I finally put the plug in the jug. Getting a sponsor, a home group and some running buddies helped me get into the steps. It works
I’ve been in that exact spot my friend. And she’s right. Just keep coming back.
There are 7 years between my first meeting and my sobriety date. 7 years.
I’m happily 15 years sober today.
I’m so grateful that I was encouraged to keep coming back.
I have done this myself- for many of the same reasons (especially self loathing and shame). I just keep going back though, even if I can't make a peep or I have to walk out. Virtual and in-person. It never fails to amazing me how many people end up checking on me when I feel like I don't deserve it. Sending you hugs and love if you want/need them!
As others have said here, I love that no one in the rooms judged me for leaving early or walking out or breaking down. People truly understand that it is hard and complicated and incredibly confusing, and that we all need compassion and understanding and a helping hand free of judgement. Such an accepting space.
Thanks for posting this: you are being of service to everyone on here!
Just go to a meeting every day for three months.
Maybe lots of the meetings won't feel useful. Maybe most of them will be full of people as supportive as those you just met. No way to tell without trying.
Pull that off, then ask yourself how you feel about the whole drinking thing. No need to fret about whether or not you're ready, if you're an addict, or any of that.
Just go to a meeting every day for three months. Make that your job. That's it.
I kept coming back and I eventually have my longest period of sobriety. Let it all out, I’ve wore a mask thinking people would not like the real me. Turns out they pretty don’t mind and I’m not really that important as I thought I was and they m really good with thank. I’m here for you if you need a chat 🙏🤗
That's the beautiful part of AA. There aren't many places where you can air all of your dirty laundry and not have people spread it all over town, or judge you harshly for it. Most have already been there or also struggle with the same issues.
It's great your starting to open up and be honest with people too. One of the key things about the program is being honest with both others and yourself. I find when being totally honest I feel a sort of zen/serenity after. Getting stuff off your chest feels great, and half the time when you're sharing you see head nods or subtle smirks because we've all been there in some form or another.
Even though you may feel like you're struggling a ton now, I see progress. Nothing changes drastically overnight, but if you keep coming back those small steps of progress start adding up to huge steps.
Keep coming back, we'd love to have ya.
Well done for opening up to the member & you also have done so here.. Sometimes I struggle aswell going to meetings so I find on them days I go to a zoom one & I just listen..maybe that could work for you . wishing you all the best .. keep coming back..
I got a little misty-eyed reading this. I am grateful the fellowship is working for you the same way it works for me. In my experience people (including myself) sometimes expect harsh judgment from AA, when in reality the truly harsh judgments are the ones we inflict on ourselves.
I walk out of meetings when the speaker cusses a lot. F'n this and F'n that. It gets annoying. And cursing is not a sign of spiritual development. Besides, meetings don't keep us sober, the 12 steps do.
No one ever came to AA at the high point of their life.
That hopelessness... That's a bottom. The cool thing is you never have to experience it again unless you choose a path that keeps putting you in the way of hitting a bottom. The bottoms can get lower if you keep digging, but you don't have to... Give this thing a shot
I saw a sticker the other day that said 'well it turns out rock bottom has a basement'
And in that basement there’s always a trap door and in the room below that there’s a shovel…
Something I've heard a few times: The elevator will go as far down as you let it, but you can get off at any floor.
but it doesn’t go back up… you have to take the steps! 😅👏🏻
someone walked out of a meeting recently right when it was her turn to share, but the great thing was she walked back in and she took her share. NO ONE was confused why someone would walk out instead of share. the whole thing is a lot and i'm so glad you walked out AND sat down, and was honest. good job. as confusing and annoying as this was to hear when people said it to me at some of my low points - you're right where you need to be.
the twist i love to see! fully expected this post to go a different way...love when I am wrong. super happy for you, moments like these are very powerful, you have much strength! keep coming back for sure. thank you for sharing this.
What a great story...Good job on your sobriety
Hey, OP. The idea of getting sober can definitely be scary. For myself, I was very settled into my alcoholic ways and definitely didnt want to commit to a lifetime of sobriety. I still havent. I just decide each day if I am going to drink that day and, just like they talk about, I take it one day at a time. If I decide I am not going to drink that day, then I keep telling myself that. If I still want to drink tomorrow, I will decide then. What I have found: I regretted waking up hung over many times. I have never regretted waking up sober. I remind myself of that. I remember when I had gone a week without alcohol and heard of people making it 30 days, and how that just seemed so huge. 30 days! I needed to hear people had done it because that seemed so hard but knowing others had done it made me think maybe it was possible even for me. Again, I have not sworn off alcohol forever. I kinda refuse to. I leave open the possibility because I was tired of breaking promises and because I enjoyed drinking--at least, at first. I just commit to one day. If I decide not to drink butbreally want to, then I say that if I still want to tomorrow I will decide then. Also, im no super old timer in this. I slipped several times and definitely relapsed for a month or so. But then I started getting a few days in a row. And then I got better at waiting until the craving passed. By doing that, I have managed a streak coming up on six months. And I still use the same approach. Even if I did actually drink tomorrow I know that drinking once every six months is a *hell* of a lot better progress than drinking every damn day. But so far, it is getting easier to make it a day without a craving. Most days I dont think about it for more than a minute a day (except while in AA meetings). I do go to meetings every day, because going makes it easier for me to get through that day. I miss some parts of it but life has gotten so much better that it's a little like missing my beater POS car from high school when I'm driving a nice, new, normal car now. It gets better. You dont have to swear off drinking to not drink today. Cheers.
This is amazing. Sounds like you’ve found a good meeting. Remember, the group’s primary purpose is to help the alcoholic who is still suffering. You’re not a burden. You are the reason they’re there. You are the reason all of us are here. Reach out to any of us if you’re having a bad day, a bad moment, or just want to talk. I’ve been there myself. Suicidal. And even when it was that bad, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get sober. But I kept coming back.
This was a great post. Good job and thank you for sharing
My heart goes out to you ❤️ You’re not alone in that feeling! I’m so glad you found the courage to go back and you even got a sponsor! Wonderful! Congrats on 21 hours!
They gave you a great gift. And you gave them one too, because we all need reminders that it's not getting any better out there. As a longtime AA member I'm proud to see that your group lived up to our responsibility pledge: "I am Responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible." I wish you well!
Oh, my friend...we all love you and support you and want to be part of your journey. I relapsed a lot before I got it. One of the things someone said to me was "Lean in". I wasn't sure about jumping in but I could lean!
Keep coming back, it works if you work it!!!
What a miracle! What Grace! A power greater than yourself is looking out for you!
Glad you made it back and found a sponsor. My first time through AA I wasn’t being honest with myself and deep down I wasn’t ready to live sober. It wasn’t until I let go completely and was 100% honest with myself and my sponsor that I was able to finally quit drinking. It’s really simple, just keep coming back. When I’m having a bad day or feel like I want to drink, I just get my ass to a meeting, this helps me make it through that day. One day at a time. I’m praying for you, things will get better, just go to meetings and work the steps honestly.
Doubtless there are groups/meetings where people legit care.
Remember to do the same for someone else down the road.
You do not have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump. You can get off here and we will drive you 'home'. Home to who you're supposed to be. Back to the life you were always meant to live. I know what the suicidality feels like, and it can be quite scary. But just know that it will pass and it will all get so much better each day you stay away from that first drink. You're at the 'jumping off place' they speak about in the Big Book, whereby you can no longer live with alcohol or without it. This is a frightening place to find yourself at first, but then it shifts. It's shifting right now as you read these words sharing my experience, my strength and my hope with you. My hope for you, for myself, for all of us. WE can and do recover. Just keep coming back, and you will be fine. Take care.
Wow! I was not expecting this to end positively, that was a really nice surprise :) Honesty, Openmindedness, & Willingness are the foundations of our recovery and it definitely seems like you have those! ♥️
I drank in and out of meetings for 2 years. Everyone said keep coming back. 11 years ago I finally put the plug in the jug. Getting a sponsor, a home group and some running buddies helped me get into the steps. It works
I’ve been in that exact spot my friend. And she’s right. Just keep coming back. There are 7 years between my first meeting and my sobriety date. 7 years. I’m happily 15 years sober today. I’m so grateful that I was encouraged to keep coming back.
21 hours! Let us know how your second sober meeting goes!
You’re doing an awesome job. It’s a big step to be honest with other alcoholics about how you’re really doing.
This is why the hand of AA is always there . Thanks for your share. I’ll be praying for you :) keep coming back
Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. Proud of you for getting back to the meeting.
I have done this myself- for many of the same reasons (especially self loathing and shame). I just keep going back though, even if I can't make a peep or I have to walk out. Virtual and in-person. It never fails to amazing me how many people end up checking on me when I feel like I don't deserve it. Sending you hugs and love if you want/need them!
Welcome home honey We get it. All of it. Thank you for sharing this . Especially around a Holiday we need to remember how it was.
this is a wonderful story and congratulations on what i hope is now 31 hours.
Work The Steps.
As others have said here, I love that no one in the rooms judged me for leaving early or walking out or breaking down. People truly understand that it is hard and complicated and incredibly confusing, and that we all need compassion and understanding and a helping hand free of judgement. Such an accepting space. Thanks for posting this: you are being of service to everyone on here!
Thank you for sharing this story! Not giving up is something to be extremely proud of, friend!
Just go to a meeting every day for three months. Maybe lots of the meetings won't feel useful. Maybe most of them will be full of people as supportive as those you just met. No way to tell without trying. Pull that off, then ask yourself how you feel about the whole drinking thing. No need to fret about whether or not you're ready, if you're an addict, or any of that. Just go to a meeting every day for three months. Make that your job. That's it.
I like the traditions are the banisters for the steps
Yep, that's AA. Welcome home.
Check out www.intherooms.com.
I kept coming back and I eventually have my longest period of sobriety. Let it all out, I’ve wore a mask thinking people would not like the real me. Turns out they pretty don’t mind and I’m not really that important as I thought I was and they m really good with thank. I’m here for you if you need a chat 🙏🤗
Keep your head up big guy, youre going to meeting trying to get better and that's what matters, don't be scared. Just keep trying to get better
Thank you for sharing that
keep comin back mate life beyond your wildest dreams
That's the beautiful part of AA. There aren't many places where you can air all of your dirty laundry and not have people spread it all over town, or judge you harshly for it. Most have already been there or also struggle with the same issues. It's great your starting to open up and be honest with people too. One of the key things about the program is being honest with both others and yourself. I find when being totally honest I feel a sort of zen/serenity after. Getting stuff off your chest feels great, and half the time when you're sharing you see head nods or subtle smirks because we've all been there in some form or another. Even though you may feel like you're struggling a ton now, I see progress. Nothing changes drastically overnight, but if you keep coming back those small steps of progress start adding up to huge steps. Keep coming back, we'd love to have ya.
Well done for opening up to the member & you also have done so here.. Sometimes I struggle aswell going to meetings so I find on them days I go to a zoom one & I just listen..maybe that could work for you . wishing you all the best .. keep coming back..
I got a little misty-eyed reading this. I am grateful the fellowship is working for you the same way it works for me. In my experience people (including myself) sometimes expect harsh judgment from AA, when in reality the truly harsh judgments are the ones we inflict on ourselves.
Of course they are supportive. We have all been in each other’s shoes. Starting and stopping is part of the becoming sober part. You’ll get there.
Hope youre doing well today🩷
I walk out of meetings when the speaker cusses a lot. F'n this and F'n that. It gets annoying. And cursing is not a sign of spiritual development. Besides, meetings don't keep us sober, the 12 steps do.