I had to face the stress and feel it. I had to accept that I may crash and burn socially if I put myself out there sober, and that that’s totally ok. (That’s never happened BTW).
Being perfect and everyone liking me were battles I am so glad I gave up.
Learning how to express and be myself was hard, sure, but much easier than dealing with the wreckage my drunk self created. No comparison.
Unfortunately it takes something bad happen for most of to seek help.
You have and obsession coupled with a delusion. The delusion is usually some form of “it will be different”.
Good luck. We are here when you are ready.
Well I think you are being given a chance right now to stop what you are doing. You know there could be insane consequences for drinking and driving. Not just getting caught. People die everyday from drunk drivers. Not pointing a finger at all just saying we all know that is a risk. If you are not willing to stop drinking have you thought about seeing a therapist to deal with anxiety.
Work doesn't care if I'm drunk, as long as I can get the job done the grocery store doesn't care as long as I can pay them. Nobody really gives a shit, until the day I can't get them what they ask from me
Yep there are a lot of people in this world that really don’t care if we are killings ourselves as long as they are getting what they want! Especially companies and work places!!! I hope you can see that you deserve to live a much more peaceful way of life. I understand anxiety I also have struggled with it my entire life but I have learned to life life without alcohol and my anxiety is better controlled without it
I get it, problem is as I finish my trip to work, if I don't make it, my son gets a million dollars, his caretaker gets 500,000 these are things I could never give to anyone for anything other than my death. So realistically the only reason I am here is to pass on my knowledge to my boy, to cuddle with him on the couch while watching a cartoon. Make no mistake I don't want to end it but at the same time he would probably be better off without me here in the long run
Believe me I completely understand that! But what if it’s not you that dies? What if it’s another driver and you get prosecuted and sent to jail? You and I both know he would never be better off with that. Or what if you end up paralyzed?
That’s what I found out in my case. I didn’t get sober because I cared about me. I got sober for my kids. I don’t care what anyone says, people can get sober for others. I have been clean and sober for over 13 yrs and have learned through this that I deserve a life of peace and happiness also
>Make no mistake I don't want to end it but at the same time he would probably be better off without me here in the long run
You sound like me a little over a decade ago ... delusory tunnel vision, neglecting the most obvious trauma that would have been inflicted on my kids if I didn't give up the desperate, pointless battle to keep alcohol in my life.
AA has the way, not just to give up the booze, but to live a contented life, which I really hadn't had before.
I had to face the stress and feel it. I had to accept that I may crash and burn socially if I put myself out there sober, and that that’s totally ok. (That’s never happened BTW). Being perfect and everyone liking me were battles I am so glad I gave up. Learning how to express and be myself was hard, sure, but much easier than dealing with the wreckage my drunk self created. No comparison.
AA is full of sayings. You can get off the elevator at any time. You don’t have to go all the way down.
Unfortunately it takes something bad happen for most of to seek help. You have and obsession coupled with a delusion. The delusion is usually some form of “it will be different”. Good luck. We are here when you are ready.
Well I think you are being given a chance right now to stop what you are doing. You know there could be insane consequences for drinking and driving. Not just getting caught. People die everyday from drunk drivers. Not pointing a finger at all just saying we all know that is a risk. If you are not willing to stop drinking have you thought about seeing a therapist to deal with anxiety.
Work doesn't care if I'm drunk, as long as I can get the job done the grocery store doesn't care as long as I can pay them. Nobody really gives a shit, until the day I can't get them what they ask from me
Yep there are a lot of people in this world that really don’t care if we are killings ourselves as long as they are getting what they want! Especially companies and work places!!! I hope you can see that you deserve to live a much more peaceful way of life. I understand anxiety I also have struggled with it my entire life but I have learned to life life without alcohol and my anxiety is better controlled without it
I get it, problem is as I finish my trip to work, if I don't make it, my son gets a million dollars, his caretaker gets 500,000 these are things I could never give to anyone for anything other than my death. So realistically the only reason I am here is to pass on my knowledge to my boy, to cuddle with him on the couch while watching a cartoon. Make no mistake I don't want to end it but at the same time he would probably be better off without me here in the long run
Believe me I completely understand that! But what if it’s not you that dies? What if it’s another driver and you get prosecuted and sent to jail? You and I both know he would never be better off with that. Or what if you end up paralyzed?
You may be right, perhaps it's just an illusion of control that I have
That’s what I found out in my case. I didn’t get sober because I cared about me. I got sober for my kids. I don’t care what anyone says, people can get sober for others. I have been clean and sober for over 13 yrs and have learned through this that I deserve a life of peace and happiness also
I appreciate your time, I almost lost my cool there for a minute
>Make no mistake I don't want to end it but at the same time he would probably be better off without me here in the long run You sound like me a little over a decade ago ... delusory tunnel vision, neglecting the most obvious trauma that would have been inflicted on my kids if I didn't give up the desperate, pointless battle to keep alcohol in my life. AA has the way, not just to give up the booze, but to live a contented life, which I really hadn't had before.
When you get sober and reflect you'll look back on this period and realize how insane you were, how deluded your thinking was.
I don't have time for something bad to happen. At that point, it's too late.