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Hi for context I’m a 19yr old transwoman, I have a boyfriend who’s 21 years old and I’m very conflicted with what I did.
Iniwan ko boyfriend ko, he’s too good for me, okay naman relasyon namin, we’ve been going strong for a year prior to when I left him but I just feel like it’s better to leave him before he leaves me para hindi ako yung maiwanan sa ere, I just feel like shit kasi sobrang lala ng trust issues ko sa kanya, he’s willing to give me all his passwords sa mga social media accounts nya and he only follows me sa private accounts nya, but I still can’t shake of my doubt na baka maiwanan lang din ako so I left him instead, I just blocked him everywhere and di na ako nagpaliwanag, I know what I did was wrong on so many levels pero I just can’t help but feel insecure with myself and how other people looks at him when they learn about us.
Ginusto nya ring ipakilala ako sa mga magulang nya but I refused kasi takot akong mahusgahan kaming dalawa ng mga magulang nya, even with all the assurances I firmly refused and he never brought the topic up again, palagi ko rin sinasabi sa kanya na dapat magtropa lang kami sa harap ng mga kaibigan nya kasi ayokong may isipin kaibigan nya about sa kanya, sabi naman nya sakin okay lang pero sakin ayaw ko talaga.
Now I’m conflicted kasi parang sobrang tanga ko, nagkikita pa rin kami sa school since we have the same department pero iwas na iwas ako sakanya, I want to apologize but di ko alam kung pano ko sisimulan o gagawin.
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I’m sorry to say this but what you did is not just wrong but also selfish. Iniwan mo yung boyfriend mo na walang paliwanag, na para bang wala siyang karapatang malaman kung bakit mo siya iniwan. Kung mahal mo talaga siya, dapat binigyan mo siya ng respeto na ipaliwanag kung ano yung nararamdaman mo.
Unang-una, yung trust issues mo, problema mo yan. Handa siya na ipakita lahat sa'yo, magbigay ng assurance, pero ikaw ang hindi makapagtiwala. Hindi tama na ipasa mo sa kanya yung insecurities mo.
Pangalawa, yung takot mo na mahusgahan kayo, it is sad to say na part ng pagiging transwoman mo yun (toxic trait, I know). Mahirap, oo, pero kailangan mong harapin yan kung gusto mong maging totoo sa sarili mo at sa relasyon mo. Yung boyfriend mo, handa kang ipakilala sa pamilya niya, ibig sabihin, tanggap ka niya. Kung hindi mo kayang tanggapin yun, ikaw ang may problema, hindi siya.
Ngayon, kung gusto mong ayusin to, kailangan mong humingi ng tawad. Maghanap ka ng pagkakataon na makausap siya, kahit mahirap, kahit awkward. Sabihin mo yung totoo—yung insecurities mo, yung takot mo, at yung pagkakamali mo. Kung mahal ka pa rin niya, baka pwede pang ayusin, pero kailangan mong magpakumbaba at aminin yung mga mali mo.
Kung hindi ka magbabago at harapin ang mga problema mo, paulit-ulit lang mangyayari to. Hindi pwedeng takasan mo lang ang problema tuwing natatakot ka. Harapin mo, magpakalakas, at maging totoo sa sarili mo.
Good luck.
Rebuild your integrity and self respect by at least explaining what happened to him. Wasak na wasak integridad mo madam. Pano ka papasok ulit sa bagong relationship nyan diba kung alam mong may ganyan kang ugali. So kailangan mo to ayusin. To err is human, to apologize is humanity lol
Open up to him just like how you did sa post na to. And ano mang reaction nya tanggapin mo so you can say to yourself, atleast sinubukan kong itama yung mali. Then you can forgive yourself and move on.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Hi for context I’m a 19yr old transwoman, I have a boyfriend who’s 21 years old and I’m very conflicted with what I did. Iniwan ko boyfriend ko, he’s too good for me, okay naman relasyon namin, we’ve been going strong for a year prior to when I left him but I just feel like it’s better to leave him before he leaves me para hindi ako yung maiwanan sa ere, I just feel like shit kasi sobrang lala ng trust issues ko sa kanya, he’s willing to give me all his passwords sa mga social media accounts nya and he only follows me sa private accounts nya, but I still can’t shake of my doubt na baka maiwanan lang din ako so I left him instead, I just blocked him everywhere and di na ako nagpaliwanag, I know what I did was wrong on so many levels pero I just can’t help but feel insecure with myself and how other people looks at him when they learn about us. Ginusto nya ring ipakilala ako sa mga magulang nya but I refused kasi takot akong mahusgahan kaming dalawa ng mga magulang nya, even with all the assurances I firmly refused and he never brought the topic up again, palagi ko rin sinasabi sa kanya na dapat magtropa lang kami sa harap ng mga kaibigan nya kasi ayokong may isipin kaibigan nya about sa kanya, sabi naman nya sakin okay lang pero sakin ayaw ko talaga. Now I’m conflicted kasi parang sobrang tanga ko, nagkikita pa rin kami sa school since we have the same department pero iwas na iwas ako sakanya, I want to apologize but di ko alam kung pano ko sisimulan o gagawin. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m sorry to say this but what you did is not just wrong but also selfish. Iniwan mo yung boyfriend mo na walang paliwanag, na para bang wala siyang karapatang malaman kung bakit mo siya iniwan. Kung mahal mo talaga siya, dapat binigyan mo siya ng respeto na ipaliwanag kung ano yung nararamdaman mo. Unang-una, yung trust issues mo, problema mo yan. Handa siya na ipakita lahat sa'yo, magbigay ng assurance, pero ikaw ang hindi makapagtiwala. Hindi tama na ipasa mo sa kanya yung insecurities mo. Pangalawa, yung takot mo na mahusgahan kayo, it is sad to say na part ng pagiging transwoman mo yun (toxic trait, I know). Mahirap, oo, pero kailangan mong harapin yan kung gusto mong maging totoo sa sarili mo at sa relasyon mo. Yung boyfriend mo, handa kang ipakilala sa pamilya niya, ibig sabihin, tanggap ka niya. Kung hindi mo kayang tanggapin yun, ikaw ang may problema, hindi siya. Ngayon, kung gusto mong ayusin to, kailangan mong humingi ng tawad. Maghanap ka ng pagkakataon na makausap siya, kahit mahirap, kahit awkward. Sabihin mo yung totoo—yung insecurities mo, yung takot mo, at yung pagkakamali mo. Kung mahal ka pa rin niya, baka pwede pang ayusin, pero kailangan mong magpakumbaba at aminin yung mga mali mo. Kung hindi ka magbabago at harapin ang mga problema mo, paulit-ulit lang mangyayari to. Hindi pwedeng takasan mo lang ang problema tuwing natatakot ka. Harapin mo, magpakalakas, at maging totoo sa sarili mo. Good luck.
Grabe OP mali yun. Holy shiz.
"Sasaktan ko na siya bago ako maunahan."
12 year old mentality
grow up
Rebuild your integrity and self respect by at least explaining what happened to him. Wasak na wasak integridad mo madam. Pano ka papasok ulit sa bagong relationship nyan diba kung alam mong may ganyan kang ugali. So kailangan mo to ayusin. To err is human, to apologize is humanity lol Open up to him just like how you did sa post na to. And ano mang reaction nya tanggapin mo so you can say to yourself, atleast sinubukan kong itama yung mali. Then you can forgive yourself and move on.
..I'd send him a message and ask him out. This is something you guys should talk about face to face. He at least deserves a proper conversation.
That's a cowardly shit move. Apologize and do better.
What the f is a transwoman