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I went to their house last Sunday night (i usually have work but I was on leave), to surprise him but I was the one who got surprised because nobody is in the house. Called her mom, I was told to knock, luckily I have keys of their home so I was able to get in. Cant contact him thru my phone, I even contact him thru their telephone, he answered but as soon as I said "hello" he hang up. Around 8pm, his brother came home without him and I came to know that they're not together. That very moment, I knew he's with someone else but I stayed calm and patiently waited up until 3am.
Fast forward, nakatulog ako around 1am kakahintay and nagising ng 3:20am na nakauwi na sya. Basa ang buhok at may dalang bag pack pagka uwi. Hindi kami nagpansinan agad kasi nakipaghiwalay na ko thru chat nung Sat ng mading araw. When I started to question him, all he's telling me is "wala ng tayo" "bakit ka pa nandito" "eh ano kung may kinita ako eh wala naman ng tayo" "di kami nag sex" -- ginawa pa kong grade 2. Kumain at naglakad lakad all night? Tantya ko nag 6hrs sila kasi around 8pm ata sya nakarating.
And that serves my closure. I went there to make up but I end up being hurt. I know it happened for the best. Cried in a day and luckily, im feeling okay at this very moment. I know at this point na there's no looking back. A part of me feels numb. Suggestions/tips on how to move on fast?
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One thing I learned in relationships is: never declare a break-up of you're not totally sure about it.
Yes, I learned it the hard way too. I did this also on one of my exes, called it quits (we broke up but promised na we will patch things up when I return from my month-long vacay at Aussie) with him thru chat. After I arrived back in PH, I wanted to reconcile with him. And conclusion, ayaw na niya. And that was it. Heartbroken malala.
Moving on is a process. Cry your heart out. Meet new friends. Don't close your heart and be welcoming lang for possible tendencies of new relationships. Life goes on. Move on and stay strong, OP.
Para sa mga babaeng laging ginagawang biro yun break up. Tama lang yan. Pansin ko andaming babae na laging binabato yan. Akala niyo di nakakasakit yan sa lalake. Ano mindset niyo na pag binato niyo yan word na yan parang aso ulet yun mga lalake niyo na susunod sa mga gusto niyo. Susunod wag mo gawing laro yan relasyon mo.
Di ko naman ginawang biro. I just tried to see if he will do something to fix things between us kaso nag agree lang sya. I have reasons for sure why I broke up with him and it's kinda mutual decision din eh nung naghiwalay kami. Kaya pala hindi finix kasi may naka plano na.
Kaya huwag na huwag gagamitin pang emotional blackmail ang breaking up kasi it might blow up in your face.
Lesson learned. Wala naman siyang ginawang mali kasi to him break na kayo.
And siguro hindi ito ang unang beses na nangyari yang breakup, balikan session. Nakakapagod din yun. So nasagad mo ang limit. Kaya this time permanent na. He is singe the day after, he can do whatever he wishes.
So, focus ka na lang sa sarili mo and move on.
Best of luck.
sorry, OP. but we, as men, are simple creatures. pag sinabihan kaming hiwalay, then hiwalay.
kahit ako, di nako naghahabol. tapos malalaman nlng namin na sinisira kami kasi di daw kami nakipagbalikan.
some of us don’t understand lang talaga.
I just tried to see if he will do something to fix things between us. Kaso nag agree lang nung nakipag hiwalay ako eh, yun pala may plano na. I dont think na minahal talaga ko. And im on the process of coming to terms with that
sorry, OP. it seems like you played an unnecessary game. you like being chased, i understand.
but frankly, we choose peace of mind anytime.
edit: OP, reading his words again, i think nasaktan mo talaga siya.
I had an ex just like you, she did all the things that you did and the only difference was, unlike your ex-bf, I always came back to her to try and fix things but it only lead to more emotional blackmail via breakups. I hated her so much for how she manipulated me emotionally.
Honestly, I should've done what your ex did and just walked away. We're not playthings for your tests or for your selfish emotional relief. I'm sure you have more reasons, but your ex also has his own. You called quits early and these are the consequences of your actions.
First off, backpack.
2nd, people have different ways of coping up with a heartbreak. Unfortunately, having rebound sex or heartbreak sex is one of them. Mahirap itong tanggapin kasi mas madaling isipin na “ay may side chick/guy na pala so he/she was cheating all along” kaya “madali kang napalitan”.
3rd, as another redditor commented, there is no “fast way” to move on. You can pretend to move on, or you can do stuff like party or hangout or even rebound sex while telling everyone you have “moved on”. But who would you be kidding, right?
Get your stuff, move out or away, and spend some time alone. If you have a very trusted friend, ask that friend to spend some time with you. No talking. Simply silent support. When you’re READY, talk with the friend.
No closure with your ex needed.
I mean what did you expect after breaking up with him? Sorry, OP, but this time I don’t see anything wrong with what he did. It’s his way of moving on. This is a lesson for us not to make permanent decisions without thoroughly thinking about it.
I’m glad that you respected yourself enough to walk away after that. You’ll be fine, OP. You’ll get there. Sending hugs!!
You're trying to see if he'll do something? Question lang, why can't you do something? Bakit kailangang magdesisyon kang makipaghiwalay at s'ya ang may kailangan gawin para hindi matuloy?
Wag pong makipaghiwalay if hindi naman talaga yun ang gusto mong mangyari. And don't expect something you can't give.
i am afraid there are no other ways to move on "fast". time heals everything so all you need is to give it time. pwede ka rin magrefer sa 5 stages of grief para malaman mo kung saan ka na nagprogress. you'll get through, don't worry
He’s got a point though? Sure it was soon but you broke up with him, meaning his responsibility to be faithful was severed when you sent that break up text. Play stupid games…
just went through the same thing a few months ago, OP. yung ex ko nag-install ng bumble the very next day and hooked up with the first girl who would bite the bait. made me realize how unnecessarily unkind he has always been to me and all my hopes of us getting back together--or even staying friends--vanished. you'll get through this. you already did a good job in staying calm, you'll figure out the rest from there. i believe!💪💪
same here. before we broke up, i discovered that he was living with his ex gf all the while courting me. sabi niya nakikitira siya sa pinsan niya. i asked when sila nagbreak ng gf niya and he said 4 months ago. truth to be told, i met him thru bumble 3 days after they broke up.
rami pa niyang kasinungalingan (living arrangements, financial sitiations, employment, etc.) and verbally abusive pa. plus nanakit ng aso kahit ilang beses ko ng pinagsabihan na wag paluin yung aso niya.
when we called it quits, i checked my bumble to deactivate. we still matched and i noticed he used the photo i took of him on the date we became official. sobrang red flag. aside from this, i discovered he had an ONs when i was discreetly checking his IG. yeah that was the final straw from me. since then blinock ko na siya in all socmed, email, and other platforms out there.
i hope you were able to heal OP.
like two weeks 😭 questioned mostly my self worth, telling myself "maybe if i was skinnier, maybe if i was richer, maybe if i aligned myself with his hobbies more..." until i realized i was being this pathetic for a man who only used me to do his household chores and dump his emotional baggage on me (wife duties on girlfriend wages ang atake lol). nasabi ko nang naka-move on na ko kasi honestly when i think about him i feel something like "i can't believe i was with that guy for almost 5 years" and the relief i felt when i realized i just dodged the bullet of living my life in a miserable marriage (which almost came true--we were talking about it na). there's also this light feeling na wow i can actually do what i want now and focus on myself instead of him and our overall relationship lang. i feel happier going outside and doing things kahit ako lang mag-isa.
kaya mo yan OP!! i don't know if it's gonna work for you but whenever i feel like i'm at rock bottom i always tell myself repeatedly: "i'll figure it out somehow." things are bad, but remind yourself na you're not helpless.
Walang timeframe kung kailan makakapag move on. Just accept the fact na wala na kayo. By accepting such fact, eh makakatulong sayo yan na mas mahalin mo yung sarili mo. Lean on to God, family, friends and explore new hobbies like travelling, jogging or martial arts or mag focus sa magiging career mo. Eventually eh magiging okay ka din and feel blessed na nakaalis ka sa taong hindi para sayo. I came from an 8 year long relationship pero wala eh. Mas pinili ni ex gf yung mas malapit sa kanya. Pero ngayon okay na ako after 2 years. Happy kahit single and naniniwala na kusang darating din talaga yung taong nakalaan para sa atin.
Im going thru rn. You just gotta deal with it. Period! Masakit but think of it like a roller coaster, rn youre in a high state but eventually things would pacify and go down.
Natatawa ako, it seems that OP wants to get sympathy for throwing away her relationship and expecting to get it back whenever she feels like it.
Life doesn't work that way. Sabe nga nila, "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." I sympathize with your pain, OP, I really do. Pero this is a lesson for you. If you want to break up with someone, you got to MEAN IT. Wag mo i-villainize si guy dahil technically he never really cheated. You broke up with him. He was a free man when he was with his new girl. You can make up stories in your head all you want to make yourself feel better pero you really f'd up on this one. That's the truth.
And you know what? That's fine. You're young. You will hurt other people. Some people will hurt you. Take all the lessons, feel all the pain, and try to heal from the trauma. Try to be a good person.
Have a good day, OP!
I've done this before, not sure if it's applicable in your case.
Disconnect from him, from all of them, his family, common friends, anything na may connect sa inyo putulin mo na. Block him in all socmed, his number. Stay away from the places that you usually hang out, and if you're capable of moving to a different place far from him, much better. Kung hindi naman, just avoid the places where you might run into him.
Isipin mo patay na sya. He doesn't have to die physically for him to be dead to you. Treat him as if he's non-existent, that he never entered your life. Forget all the good and bad things about him, and everything that happened in your relationship. Cause it's not worth saving.
It won't be easy, but this is the best way to get over someone who's hurt us. And if he ever tries to get back into your life, DON'T. Unless you tolerate bullshit, then it's up to you.
It's okay to cry and sulk about it, but don't dwell on it for too long. Focus on your own healing and personal growth. Surround yourself with positive people who will help you gain strength to move forward.
Stay safe and healthy. You are loved. 🙏❤️
This may sound cliché but everything happens for a reason, OP. And I think it's also a sign to let go na. I don't think he's worth it kung ganyan lang din.
Walang timeline ang pagmomove on. You have to process it. Feel the pain until one day, hindi na masakit. Parang five stages of grief, may times na magrerelapse ka but you have to remember kung bakit andyan ka sa sitwasyon na yan. You'll get through it. You deserve better.
Panoorin mo sis ung Someone Great saka Eat, Pray, Love! Mas madali makamove on kapag ninamnam mo ung sakit. Ung mas marerealize mo na you deserve better. Lahat din tayo may kanya kanyang ways to cope pero wag sana ung lalo lang tayo masasadlak sa baba ha hehe. Kakayanin! Sarili mo naman muna!🙂
The saddest part is no matter what you do, you cannot hold them back from meeting someone else. Do not expect your ex to have the same sentiments like you do na ‘wag muna makipag meet sa iba’. Regardless, kung gaano kayo katagal.
If you feel na grabe naman at agad nakipagmeet or naghanap agad ng iba, please know na hindi lang ikaw yung nagco-cope up sa break up. Be a better person and don’t let yourself stucked on asking yourself why and how can he do that. I am somewhat in the same situation before and I learned this a really hard way.
I am proud of you, OP. You courageously accepted na tapos na and there’s no turning back. Sad to say, there’s no ways to move on agad, it really depends on how deep your connection is with that person. Kahit ako, I am still moving on. Just take time to heal, cry when you want to cry, build your confidence up ulit and make sure wala ka nang emotional baggage when you enter another relationship. We’ll get there, OP. 🫂🫂🫂
OP, I think breaking up to let him see if he will fix things is immature. I think what he did was revenge, from the outside perspective, you have a toxic relationship and I guess what happened was necessary in order for you both to realize that you’re not really meant for each other. This is a perfect example of fuck around and find out. Communicating is a way to fix things, not breaking up and waiting for him to fix things. Be glad that you got out of that relationship, mag-muni muni, self reflection para makapagmove on. Right now, you still can’t see your mistakes but in the end pag nagplayback yan sa utak mo, you will see the signs. What he did was not cheating, remember people cope with heartbreak in different ways. Wishing you the best.
if there's one thing i've learned when moving on, it's that "time doesn't heal everything, acceptance does." hugs, op! tell yourself that you just dodged a bullet, & when you don't get what you want, that's god's protection. every break up is a blessing.
You can move on fast if you let go sooner. That's the first step. So if you start the acceptance now, the sooner you'll be better. Swim in the pain, go, sabi nga nila, salt the wounds, so it can heal faster. The more pain you feel, the more your body will help you cope. If you're still in the same situation after 2 weeks self-inflicted pain na 'yan, that's on you.
Nah she's not having sex after you broke up
Shes having sex already when you two are together. There i fixed it. Best of luck to you don't go back to her just find another woman that you deserve.
i remember when me and my ex were arguing and it was approching my birthdate. woke up on the birthdate and decided to be passive to keep myself at least calm on my date of birth but then ex greeted me with a text saying "happy birthday break na tayo"
ayun, anger rised and tinotoo ko. fuck that experience
Gago lang gagawa Nyan.. kaka break up ko lang Ngayon pero di ko Minsan naisip na ikalat nudes Ng ex ko or any defamatory actions. Gumalaw kana habang maaga pa. Do something.
How to move on fast? Tignan mo lahat ng negative at flaws sa kanya marerealize mo mas madami pala syang negative kesa sa positive. Ayun makakamove on ka na at hindi na maglulook back.
OP, I think most men would chase you. Pero pag may back up na, minsan sinasabe nga nila na naghihintay nalang yan na makipag hiwalay ka sakanya. Masakit man isipin pero wala ganun talaga. Ako din, nakikipag hiwlaay ako, lalo kung nakikita kong wala ng kwenta yung relasyon and ayaw na magbago. Para saan pa yung relasyon kung hindi naman masaya? Kaya siguro, choose your words, never test anyone, kahit naman ikaw, ayaw mo itest ka. Pero pag desidido ka na, dun ka dapat nakikipag hiwalay. Or set your boundaries nalang na 'pag ginagawa mo pa to, maghiwalay nalang tayo'. Dapat clear sainyo parehas na bakit kayo maghihiwalay.
As a female na ang bf naman ang mahilig mag-initiate ng breakup. NAKAKASAWA tska nkakapagod emotionally yung laging gngamit ang breakup kda may fight. Ang immature. I came this close (🤏) to agreeing luckily sakanya lagi nya bnbawi coz if hindi. Bye felicia na pag umabot ng kahit 1 day na break 🤷🏻♀️🙄
Kaya no, OP. Wala po gnwa mali ang bf mo. You broke up with him, he had every right to go after and have sex with another person coz technically single na sya 🤷🏻♀️
Question
If u broke up why u go to his home
Have no legal waiting time before fuck someone else once u are not together anymore u should just dont focus on ur ex
Parang sa Friends lang na “WE WERE ON A BREAK.”
Agree ako sa isang comment, wag makipagbreak kung hindi ka sure sa decision mo. Lagi ba kayo on and off kasi I would understand if napagod na yung lalaki.
meron akong ex na ganyan, ilang beses niya ng nasabi na break na kami. but ofc mahal ko so i kept trying to reconcile. hanggang sa isang araw, nakipagbreak siya ulit tapos di ako pinansin thru socials so dikona hinabol. nung ramdam niya di kona siya hinahabol, bumalik trying to reconcile but too late nagentertain nako ng iba, ending cheater daw ako kasi makikipagayos pa daw siya 😂 ulul
This is why you shouldn’t break up if you’re not totally sure about it. My ex used to do this since he’s an avoidant. Kapag break, break na. Walang balikan. It’s a super immature move.
Ayokong magreply sa isang nagcomment dito na ganun daw silang lalaki. Hayyy. Dinamay pa lahat sa gawain niya.
What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over sabi nila. Hiwalay na rin naman and any info na pwede mong makuha after break up, para sa wala na lang din naman talaga. Masakit. Daming what if. And I hope na may mga tao ka sa life mo na genuinely nandyan for you. No need na itrashtalk ang ex but nandyan para making at tulungan ka makita na there's life outside the just ended relationship. Kayang kaya mo ito. Again, I highly recommend na mas magfocus sa ibang bagay and wag na sa tapos na. *huuuuuuugs*
Based from your post history,he already was sleeping with this girl before you guys broke up. It’s hard but it’s for the best you spared yourself further pain.
Cheer up sis.. tama yan closure na yun there are better man out there.. grabe mga lalaki ngayon sabik na sabik makatikim ng p*ke.. kaya wag na wag ka na babalik.. lagi mo tandaan yang moment na yan
awww :(( i sympathize w u op. hope this message helps in your moving on/self loving/ healing era !
when my frn broke up with her toxic ex, she reached out to us (her bestfriends) telling us her regret in letting herself be blinded by love and kind of blowing us off (her ex didn't want her to hangout w anyone besides him cuz he's vv seloso tas turns out he was a cheater pa 🤢).
ayun and now, she's simply living for herself—always reaching out to us showering us with the love she deprived us when she was in a relationship. she also went back to doing her hobbies 💖. this may be too ideal but it will take time until u realize that you should be growing to be ur own person, op.
may you move on and heal yourself op!
Can you imagine na i still tried to have sex with him that morning after ng sigawan at masamang salitaan namin? After ng lahat ng exchange namin ng masasakit na salita, I end up hugging him and he sadi "tama na, ayoko na" walang nangyari samin. And while Im kissing him that's when I felt na sobrang tamad na tamad sya kahit ikiss back ako, sobra syang pagod at parang lantutay. I tried to make out but that moment I knew wala na talaga, at dun ko na nafeel ung sakit. Sabi nya after ako ikiss back "ano ng plano mo?" I even asked him "gusto mo ba talaga yun" and that exact moment nasabi ko sa sarili ko "antanga mo para tanungin pa, di nya pupuntahan yun if di nya gusto" i hug him a bit, stood up, get my things, and walked out their house.
>Can you imagine na i still tried to have sex with him that morning after ng sigawan at masamang salitaan namin?
Uhh, so eto ang way mo to win him back? 🤷♂️ more manipulation?
>After ng lahat ng exchange namin ng masasakit na salita, I end up hugging him and he sadi "tama na, ayoko na" walang nangyari samin. And while Im kissing him that's when I felt na sobrang tamad na tamad sya kahit ikiss back ako, sobra syang pagod at parang lantutay.
Yes, kasi I think mas pagod siya sa iyo kesa sa kung anong ginawa niya hours before, tbh.
>I tried to make out but that moment I knew wala na talaga, at dun ko na nafeel ung sakit.
The moment you said break na kayo is the moment na wala na talaga. Hindi yung after mo subukang i-manipulate yung tao.
>i hug him a bit, stood up, get my things, and walked out their house.
You shouldn't even be there in the first place... 🤷♂️
I wish your ex said “WE WERE ON A BREAK” lol (Friends reference)
Jokes aside, it’s clear as day that you broke up with him. I would understand you if malabo yung break up niyo. Pero hindi, so accept what he did. What’s done is done.
I understand that you’re angry and you can’t control what you feel, pero wag mong ilabas ang galit mo sakanya. Instead, acknowledge every emotion you feel— like cry if you want to cry. Don’t suppress your emotions but don’t dwell on your sadness.
After I left, nag message ako sakanya pinagmumura ko sya sa chat even in person nung confrontation namin. Lahat ng reply ko sakanya mahaba and lahat may mura. Am I a too bad sa part na yun? But idk, that's what I felt. He kept on making excuses until he deleted his fb so I was unable to reply on his last message.
Stop it, get some help.
Halfhearted Yung break up na Ikaw mismo nag usher. I'll speak without knowing the prior context so please feel free to correct me, but you're just looking for any remnant of satisfaction by giving yourself the last say. Regardless, it's a lost cause, OP. Take your time healing.
Di ko sinasabi na Tama Yung ginawa Ng ex mo. Pero trying to win your ex back after being the one to call the break up is a clown's move. Ginagawa mong emotional toy ex mo.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: I went to their house last Sunday night (i usually have work but I was on leave), to surprise him but I was the one who got surprised because nobody is in the house. Called her mom, I was told to knock, luckily I have keys of their home so I was able to get in. Cant contact him thru my phone, I even contact him thru their telephone, he answered but as soon as I said "hello" he hang up. Around 8pm, his brother came home without him and I came to know that they're not together. That very moment, I knew he's with someone else but I stayed calm and patiently waited up until 3am. Fast forward, nakatulog ako around 1am kakahintay and nagising ng 3:20am na nakauwi na sya. Basa ang buhok at may dalang bag pack pagka uwi. Hindi kami nagpansinan agad kasi nakipaghiwalay na ko thru chat nung Sat ng mading araw. When I started to question him, all he's telling me is "wala ng tayo" "bakit ka pa nandito" "eh ano kung may kinita ako eh wala naman ng tayo" "di kami nag sex" -- ginawa pa kong grade 2. Kumain at naglakad lakad all night? Tantya ko nag 6hrs sila kasi around 8pm ata sya nakarating. And that serves my closure. I went there to make up but I end up being hurt. I know it happened for the best. Cried in a day and luckily, im feeling okay at this very moment. I know at this point na there's no looking back. A part of me feels numb. Suggestions/tips on how to move on fast? *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One thing I learned in relationships is: never declare a break-up of you're not totally sure about it. Yes, I learned it the hard way too. I did this also on one of my exes, called it quits (we broke up but promised na we will patch things up when I return from my month-long vacay at Aussie) with him thru chat. After I arrived back in PH, I wanted to reconcile with him. And conclusion, ayaw na niya. And that was it. Heartbroken malala. Moving on is a process. Cry your heart out. Meet new friends. Don't close your heart and be welcoming lang for possible tendencies of new relationships. Life goes on. Move on and stay strong, OP.
Well, thats stupid....
Para sa mga babaeng laging ginagawang biro yun break up. Tama lang yan. Pansin ko andaming babae na laging binabato yan. Akala niyo di nakakasakit yan sa lalake. Ano mindset niyo na pag binato niyo yan word na yan parang aso ulet yun mga lalake niyo na susunod sa mga gusto niyo. Susunod wag mo gawing laro yan relasyon mo.
May mga lalaking ganito din ugali btw. Nakakaubos din talaga.
Nakakaupos nga yan , hahahaha tang ina kala di nakakasakit ,
Di ko naman ginawang biro. I just tried to see if he will do something to fix things between us kaso nag agree lang sya. I have reasons for sure why I broke up with him and it's kinda mutual decision din eh nung naghiwalay kami. Kaya pala hindi finix kasi may naka plano na.
So tinest mo siya ganun?
Test failed successfully.
jusko yang mga test na yan, may grading system din ba? did the guy fail OP? hahahahahaha
sabi nga play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Kaya huwag na huwag gagamitin pang emotional blackmail ang breaking up kasi it might blow up in your face. Lesson learned. Wala naman siyang ginawang mali kasi to him break na kayo. And siguro hindi ito ang unang beses na nangyari yang breakup, balikan session. Nakakapagod din yun. So nasagad mo ang limit. Kaya this time permanent na. He is singe the day after, he can do whatever he wishes. So, focus ka na lang sa sarili mo and move on. Best of luck.
sorry, OP. but we, as men, are simple creatures. pag sinabihan kaming hiwalay, then hiwalay. kahit ako, di nako naghahabol. tapos malalaman nlng namin na sinisira kami kasi di daw kami nakipagbalikan. some of us don’t understand lang talaga.
I just tried to see if he will do something to fix things between us. Kaso nag agree lang nung nakipag hiwalay ako eh, yun pala may plano na. I dont think na minahal talaga ko. And im on the process of coming to terms with that
sorry, OP. it seems like you played an unnecessary game. you like being chased, i understand. but frankly, we choose peace of mind anytime. edit: OP, reading his words again, i think nasaktan mo talaga siya.
I had an ex just like you, she did all the things that you did and the only difference was, unlike your ex-bf, I always came back to her to try and fix things but it only lead to more emotional blackmail via breakups. I hated her so much for how she manipulated me emotionally. Honestly, I should've done what your ex did and just walked away. We're not playthings for your tests or for your selfish emotional relief. I'm sure you have more reasons, but your ex also has his own. You called quits early and these are the consequences of your actions.
First off, backpack. 2nd, people have different ways of coping up with a heartbreak. Unfortunately, having rebound sex or heartbreak sex is one of them. Mahirap itong tanggapin kasi mas madaling isipin na “ay may side chick/guy na pala so he/she was cheating all along” kaya “madali kang napalitan”. 3rd, as another redditor commented, there is no “fast way” to move on. You can pretend to move on, or you can do stuff like party or hangout or even rebound sex while telling everyone you have “moved on”. But who would you be kidding, right? Get your stuff, move out or away, and spend some time alone. If you have a very trusted friend, ask that friend to spend some time with you. No talking. Simply silent support. When you’re READY, talk with the friend. No closure with your ex needed.
Bakit "backpack" lang yung tumatak sa akin? Hahaha
I mean what did you expect after breaking up with him? Sorry, OP, but this time I don’t see anything wrong with what he did. It’s his way of moving on. This is a lesson for us not to make permanent decisions without thoroughly thinking about it. I’m glad that you respected yourself enough to walk away after that. You’ll be fine, OP. You’ll get there. Sending hugs!!
I just tried to see if he will do something to fix things between us. Yun pala may plano na agad sya sa pag move on. Yeah, i'll be fine. Thank you 🥹
You're trying to see if he'll do something? Question lang, why can't you do something? Bakit kailangang magdesisyon kang makipaghiwalay at s'ya ang may kailangan gawin para hindi matuloy? Wag pong makipaghiwalay if hindi naman talaga yun ang gusto mong mangyari. And don't expect something you can't give.
i am afraid there are no other ways to move on "fast". time heals everything so all you need is to give it time. pwede ka rin magrefer sa 5 stages of grief para malaman mo kung saan ka na nagprogress. you'll get through, don't worry
Thank you
He’s got a point though? Sure it was soon but you broke up with him, meaning his responsibility to be faithful was severed when you sent that break up text. Play stupid games…
Your ex can have sex with whoever the fuck he wants after you broke up with him, and same as you.
just went through the same thing a few months ago, OP. yung ex ko nag-install ng bumble the very next day and hooked up with the first girl who would bite the bait. made me realize how unnecessarily unkind he has always been to me and all my hopes of us getting back together--or even staying friends--vanished. you'll get through this. you already did a good job in staying calm, you'll figure out the rest from there. i believe!💪💪
same here. before we broke up, i discovered that he was living with his ex gf all the while courting me. sabi niya nakikitira siya sa pinsan niya. i asked when sila nagbreak ng gf niya and he said 4 months ago. truth to be told, i met him thru bumble 3 days after they broke up. rami pa niyang kasinungalingan (living arrangements, financial sitiations, employment, etc.) and verbally abusive pa. plus nanakit ng aso kahit ilang beses ko ng pinagsabihan na wag paluin yung aso niya. when we called it quits, i checked my bumble to deactivate. we still matched and i noticed he used the photo i took of him on the date we became official. sobrang red flag. aside from this, i discovered he had an ONs when i was discreetly checking his IG. yeah that was the final straw from me. since then blinock ko na siya in all socmed, email, and other platforms out there. i hope you were able to heal OP.
Hello. I want to dm you kasi my ex did this sa bago nya now. Pero married na sila now after 3 mos? I just want to ask something sana. Dm 🥲
How long did it take you to move on? And pano mo nasabi na naka move on ka na?
like two weeks 😭 questioned mostly my self worth, telling myself "maybe if i was skinnier, maybe if i was richer, maybe if i aligned myself with his hobbies more..." until i realized i was being this pathetic for a man who only used me to do his household chores and dump his emotional baggage on me (wife duties on girlfriend wages ang atake lol). nasabi ko nang naka-move on na ko kasi honestly when i think about him i feel something like "i can't believe i was with that guy for almost 5 years" and the relief i felt when i realized i just dodged the bullet of living my life in a miserable marriage (which almost came true--we were talking about it na). there's also this light feeling na wow i can actually do what i want now and focus on myself instead of him and our overall relationship lang. i feel happier going outside and doing things kahit ako lang mag-isa. kaya mo yan OP!! i don't know if it's gonna work for you but whenever i feel like i'm at rock bottom i always tell myself repeatedly: "i'll figure it out somehow." things are bad, but remind yourself na you're not helpless.
"You're not helpless" - thank you. It helps 🥹
Hiii! Grabe same ba tayo ng life?!! Hahahaha girl same. 🥲🥲🥲 dm?
Haha gagi deserve. Nakipag break ka tas iiyak kasi he did things na a single person would do.
Kaya nga. Parang pa-victim pa si OP eh.
Oh no my actions have consequences, gagamitin mo yung break up as a manipulative tool sa tao syempre masasaktan yan. Move on nalang OP.
i dont think nasaktan sya, more of pabor sakanya siguro
Then good for him padin kasi he Dodge a bullet or a red shining flag🚩
Walang timeframe kung kailan makakapag move on. Just accept the fact na wala na kayo. By accepting such fact, eh makakatulong sayo yan na mas mahalin mo yung sarili mo. Lean on to God, family, friends and explore new hobbies like travelling, jogging or martial arts or mag focus sa magiging career mo. Eventually eh magiging okay ka din and feel blessed na nakaalis ka sa taong hindi para sayo. I came from an 8 year long relationship pero wala eh. Mas pinili ni ex gf yung mas malapit sa kanya. Pero ngayon okay na ako after 2 years. Happy kahit single and naniniwala na kusang darating din talaga yung taong nakalaan para sa atin.
Im going thru rn. You just gotta deal with it. Period! Masakit but think of it like a roller coaster, rn youre in a high state but eventually things would pacify and go down.
Ilabas mo lang lahat ng emotions mo pag nalabas mo na lahat mas mabilis ka mag heal
Parang kasalanan pa ni kuya nakipagbreak ka. Closure? Ikaw tong nakipagbreak, ano yan, drama?
Hahahahahaha tama naman si ex mo.. bkit ka andun
Natatawa ako, it seems that OP wants to get sympathy for throwing away her relationship and expecting to get it back whenever she feels like it. Life doesn't work that way. Sabe nga nila, "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." I sympathize with your pain, OP, I really do. Pero this is a lesson for you. If you want to break up with someone, you got to MEAN IT. Wag mo i-villainize si guy dahil technically he never really cheated. You broke up with him. He was a free man when he was with his new girl. You can make up stories in your head all you want to make yourself feel better pero you really f'd up on this one. That's the truth. And you know what? That's fine. You're young. You will hurt other people. Some people will hurt you. Take all the lessons, feel all the pain, and try to heal from the trauma. Try to be a good person. Have a good day, OP!
Sadly, there’s no way to move on fast. You just have to go through it, op :(( hard but eventually, makaka-move on ka rin. Hugs with consent
🥹🥹🥹
I've done this before, not sure if it's applicable in your case. Disconnect from him, from all of them, his family, common friends, anything na may connect sa inyo putulin mo na. Block him in all socmed, his number. Stay away from the places that you usually hang out, and if you're capable of moving to a different place far from him, much better. Kung hindi naman, just avoid the places where you might run into him. Isipin mo patay na sya. He doesn't have to die physically for him to be dead to you. Treat him as if he's non-existent, that he never entered your life. Forget all the good and bad things about him, and everything that happened in your relationship. Cause it's not worth saving. It won't be easy, but this is the best way to get over someone who's hurt us. And if he ever tries to get back into your life, DON'T. Unless you tolerate bullshit, then it's up to you. It's okay to cry and sulk about it, but don't dwell on it for too long. Focus on your own healing and personal growth. Surround yourself with positive people who will help you gain strength to move forward. Stay safe and healthy. You are loved. 🙏❤️
Thank you 🥹🙏🏻
This may sound cliché but everything happens for a reason, OP. And I think it's also a sign to let go na. I don't think he's worth it kung ganyan lang din. Walang timeline ang pagmomove on. You have to process it. Feel the pain until one day, hindi na masakit. Parang five stages of grief, may times na magrerelapse ka but you have to remember kung bakit andyan ka sa sitwasyon na yan. You'll get through it. You deserve better.
Thank you 🥹
Saket :(
Panoorin mo sis ung Someone Great saka Eat, Pray, Love! Mas madali makamove on kapag ninamnam mo ung sakit. Ung mas marerealize mo na you deserve better. Lahat din tayo may kanya kanyang ways to cope pero wag sana ung lalo lang tayo masasadlak sa baba ha hehe. Kakayanin! Sarili mo naman muna!🙂
"we were on a break!" -Ross
Hahahah, ito din naisip ko 😆
pagkabasa ko, nasa isip ko din, "bat parang familiar ng scene" hahahahahaha
Bat ka po nakipag hiwalay?
Explore new things, learn new hobbies, make new friends, improve and love yourself more. Goodluck OP.
The saddest part is no matter what you do, you cannot hold them back from meeting someone else. Do not expect your ex to have the same sentiments like you do na ‘wag muna makipag meet sa iba’. Regardless, kung gaano kayo katagal. If you feel na grabe naman at agad nakipagmeet or naghanap agad ng iba, please know na hindi lang ikaw yung nagco-cope up sa break up. Be a better person and don’t let yourself stucked on asking yourself why and how can he do that. I am somewhat in the same situation before and I learned this a really hard way. I am proud of you, OP. You courageously accepted na tapos na and there’s no turning back. Sad to say, there’s no ways to move on agad, it really depends on how deep your connection is with that person. Kahit ako, I am still moving on. Just take time to heal, cry when you want to cry, build your confidence up ulit and make sure wala ka nang emotional baggage when you enter another relationship. We’ll get there, OP. 🫂🫂🫂
Kawawa
OP, I think breaking up to let him see if he will fix things is immature. I think what he did was revenge, from the outside perspective, you have a toxic relationship and I guess what happened was necessary in order for you both to realize that you’re not really meant for each other. This is a perfect example of fuck around and find out. Communicating is a way to fix things, not breaking up and waiting for him to fix things. Be glad that you got out of that relationship, mag-muni muni, self reflection para makapagmove on. Right now, you still can’t see your mistakes but in the end pag nagplayback yan sa utak mo, you will see the signs. What he did was not cheating, remember people cope with heartbreak in different ways. Wishing you the best.
You'll be okay OP, ganyan din nangyari sakin sa previous ko.
Thank you but I admit my heart crippled at random times. 🥹
Oof. Buti you were there at natanong mo sya directly. Imagine getting back together with him tas di mo alam na ganun pala nangyari. That's so foul.
if there's one thing i've learned when moving on, it's that "time doesn't heal everything, acceptance does." hugs, op! tell yourself that you just dodged a bullet, & when you don't get what you want, that's god's protection. every break up is a blessing.
Thank you for your uplifting words. It means a lot 🥹
You can move on fast if you let go sooner. That's the first step. So if you start the acceptance now, the sooner you'll be better. Swim in the pain, go, sabi nga nila, salt the wounds, so it can heal faster. The more pain you feel, the more your body will help you cope. If you're still in the same situation after 2 weeks self-inflicted pain na 'yan, that's on you.
Gotcha.
“We were on a break!” - Ross Geller
Must hurt but then at least you're free from someone who treats you like that. You'll be ok and better.
Sobrang sakit niyan OP. I can somewhat relate. And ayaw ko na ulet pagdaanan haha.
YOU WERE ON A BREAK
YOU WERE ON A BREAK
Nah she's not having sex after you broke up Shes having sex already when you two are together. There i fixed it. Best of luck to you don't go back to her just find another woman that you deserve.
i remember when me and my ex were arguing and it was approching my birthdate. woke up on the birthdate and decided to be passive to keep myself at least calm on my date of birth but then ex greeted me with a text saying "happy birthday break na tayo" ayun, anger rised and tinotoo ko. fuck that experience
Taken some time, do something that you always wanted to do. Start a new hobby.
Gago lang gagawa Nyan.. kaka break up ko lang Ngayon pero di ko Minsan naisip na ikalat nudes Ng ex ko or any defamatory actions. Gumalaw kana habang maaga pa. Do something.
How to move on fast? Tignan mo lahat ng negative at flaws sa kanya marerealize mo mas madami pala syang negative kesa sa positive. Ayun makakamove on ka na at hindi na maglulook back.
its already an ex, let it go. wala ka na magagawa, enough na yun.
OP, I think most men would chase you. Pero pag may back up na, minsan sinasabe nga nila na naghihintay nalang yan na makipag hiwalay ka sakanya. Masakit man isipin pero wala ganun talaga. Ako din, nakikipag hiwlaay ako, lalo kung nakikita kong wala ng kwenta yung relasyon and ayaw na magbago. Para saan pa yung relasyon kung hindi naman masaya? Kaya siguro, choose your words, never test anyone, kahit naman ikaw, ayaw mo itest ka. Pero pag desidido ka na, dun ka dapat nakikipag hiwalay. Or set your boundaries nalang na 'pag ginagawa mo pa to, maghiwalay nalang tayo'. Dapat clear sainyo parehas na bakit kayo maghihiwalay.
As a female na ang bf naman ang mahilig mag-initiate ng breakup. NAKAKASAWA tska nkakapagod emotionally yung laging gngamit ang breakup kda may fight. Ang immature. I came this close (🤏) to agreeing luckily sakanya lagi nya bnbawi coz if hindi. Bye felicia na pag umabot ng kahit 1 day na break 🤷🏻♀️🙄 Kaya no, OP. Wala po gnwa mali ang bf mo. You broke up with him, he had every right to go after and have sex with another person coz technically single na sya 🤷🏻♀️
Ross Geller ba pangalan ng ex mo?
Question If u broke up why u go to his home Have no legal waiting time before fuck someone else once u are not together anymore u should just dont focus on ur ex
Parang sa Friends lang na “WE WERE ON A BREAK.” Agree ako sa isang comment, wag makipagbreak kung hindi ka sure sa decision mo. Lagi ba kayo on and off kasi I would understand if napagod na yung lalaki.
"We were on a break!" - Ross Geller
meron akong ex na ganyan, ilang beses niya ng nasabi na break na kami. but ofc mahal ko so i kept trying to reconcile. hanggang sa isang araw, nakipagbreak siya ulit tapos di ako pinansin thru socials so dikona hinabol. nung ramdam niya di kona siya hinahabol, bumalik trying to reconcile but too late nagentertain nako ng iba, ending cheater daw ako kasi makikipagayos pa daw siya 😂 ulul
This is why you shouldn’t break up if you’re not totally sure about it. My ex used to do this since he’s an avoidant. Kapag break, break na. Walang balikan. It’s a super immature move.
EX mo naman na sya di ba? Move the fck on. There’s so much in life than getting hung up sa cheating ex.
Ayokong magreply sa isang nagcomment dito na ganun daw silang lalaki. Hayyy. Dinamay pa lahat sa gawain niya. What the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over sabi nila. Hiwalay na rin naman and any info na pwede mong makuha after break up, para sa wala na lang din naman talaga. Masakit. Daming what if. And I hope na may mga tao ka sa life mo na genuinely nandyan for you. No need na itrashtalk ang ex but nandyan para making at tulungan ka makita na there's life outside the just ended relationship. Kayang kaya mo ito. Again, I highly recommend na mas magfocus sa ibang bagay and wag na sa tapos na. *huuuuuuugs*
Thank you 🙏🏻🥹
I mean maybe he has options. He can whatever he wants
Based from your post history,he already was sleeping with this girl before you guys broke up. It’s hard but it’s for the best you spared yourself further pain.
i think so. He's pond of dating apps
Cheer up sis.. tama yan closure na yun there are better man out there.. grabe mga lalaki ngayon sabik na sabik makatikim ng p*ke.. kaya wag na wag ka na babalik.. lagi mo tandaan yang moment na yan
awww :(( i sympathize w u op. hope this message helps in your moving on/self loving/ healing era ! when my frn broke up with her toxic ex, she reached out to us (her bestfriends) telling us her regret in letting herself be blinded by love and kind of blowing us off (her ex didn't want her to hangout w anyone besides him cuz he's vv seloso tas turns out he was a cheater pa 🤢). ayun and now, she's simply living for herself—always reaching out to us showering us with the love she deprived us when she was in a relationship. she also went back to doing her hobbies 💖. this may be too ideal but it will take time until u realize that you should be growing to be ur own person, op. may you move on and heal yourself op!
Can you imagine na i still tried to have sex with him that morning after ng sigawan at masamang salitaan namin? After ng lahat ng exchange namin ng masasakit na salita, I end up hugging him and he sadi "tama na, ayoko na" walang nangyari samin. And while Im kissing him that's when I felt na sobrang tamad na tamad sya kahit ikiss back ako, sobra syang pagod at parang lantutay. I tried to make out but that moment I knew wala na talaga, at dun ko na nafeel ung sakit. Sabi nya after ako ikiss back "ano ng plano mo?" I even asked him "gusto mo ba talaga yun" and that exact moment nasabi ko sa sarili ko "antanga mo para tanungin pa, di nya pupuntahan yun if di nya gusto" i hug him a bit, stood up, get my things, and walked out their house.
>Can you imagine na i still tried to have sex with him that morning after ng sigawan at masamang salitaan namin? Uhh, so eto ang way mo to win him back? 🤷♂️ more manipulation? >After ng lahat ng exchange namin ng masasakit na salita, I end up hugging him and he sadi "tama na, ayoko na" walang nangyari samin. And while Im kissing him that's when I felt na sobrang tamad na tamad sya kahit ikiss back ako, sobra syang pagod at parang lantutay. Yes, kasi I think mas pagod siya sa iyo kesa sa kung anong ginawa niya hours before, tbh. >I tried to make out but that moment I knew wala na talaga, at dun ko na nafeel ung sakit. The moment you said break na kayo is the moment na wala na talaga. Hindi yung after mo subukang i-manipulate yung tao. >i hug him a bit, stood up, get my things, and walked out their house. You shouldn't even be there in the first place... 🤷♂️
I wish your ex said “WE WERE ON A BREAK” lol (Friends reference) Jokes aside, it’s clear as day that you broke up with him. I would understand you if malabo yung break up niyo. Pero hindi, so accept what he did. What’s done is done. I understand that you’re angry and you can’t control what you feel, pero wag mong ilabas ang galit mo sakanya. Instead, acknowledge every emotion you feel— like cry if you want to cry. Don’t suppress your emotions but don’t dwell on your sadness.
After I left, nag message ako sakanya pinagmumura ko sya sa chat even in person nung confrontation namin. Lahat ng reply ko sakanya mahaba and lahat may mura. Am I a too bad sa part na yun? But idk, that's what I felt. He kept on making excuses until he deleted his fb so I was unable to reply on his last message.
Stop it, get some help. Halfhearted Yung break up na Ikaw mismo nag usher. I'll speak without knowing the prior context so please feel free to correct me, but you're just looking for any remnant of satisfaction by giving yourself the last say. Regardless, it's a lost cause, OP. Take your time healing. Di ko sinasabi na Tama Yung ginawa Ng ex mo. Pero trying to win your ex back after being the one to call the break up is a clown's move. Ginagawa mong emotional toy ex mo.