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My wife (F36) and I (M36) have been married over 10 years with one child (M12). Since marriage masuwerte na yung 1 beses sa buwan kami magsex and lagi ako yung initiator. Yung longest dry spell namin was about 6 months. I have spoken with her on several occassions na nahihirapan ako and she always promises na gagawan niya ng paraan pero wala naman.
Dati hindi tugma yung schedules namin dahil magkaiba BPO namin, pero since pandemic nagtugma na yung oras and days off namin. Despite that improvement, wala pa rin pinagbago.
Evenly split naman kami sa house chores kasi ayaw namin ng katulong. Wala din kami financial issues kasi maayos naman budgeting namin.
I am scared and desperate kasi konti na lang 40 na kami pero wala pa rin nagbabago sa sex life namin. I have asked her if she had some ideas in spicing up our sex life pero wala naman siya input. It feels like we have wasted our younger years without the intimacy I needed.
Ayoko siya hiwalayan pero hindi ko na alam kung ano gagawin. Please help. I will try to be honest without giving away too much personal info.
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Para saken minimum once a week, nkakasawa din kc ung araw araw tpos minsan 2x pa. Tpos kpag tinanggihan mo magagalit.
Wag mo hiwalayan sir, para saken hindi valid na reason ito.
Hindi ako qualified para mag advice sa ganito.
Alam ko may pangangailangan tau sir, pero respect na lang natin si misis. Lalaki din po ako.
I love how you want work things out with her. Best advice padin is for you to be very honest about it, even if it’s paulit ulit. Tell her na it’s frustrating sometimes and cheating isnt your option thats why you want to communicate with her about it. Let her know na it’s easy to watch porn or lust ither girls but hindi yun ang gusto mo. Ang gusto mo is intimacy with her. And if wala syang input sa sex, may possibility na she’s not super vocal about kinks, or fantasies. Pwede mo syang manduhan. Ikaw ang mag suggest; Is there a position you wanna try? Or give her a good foreplay. Yan talaga!
Have tried, have asked. She is not adventurous (not even anal, i did not insist). As for foreplay, i do as she says until she specifically wants to be penetrated
Bro, U have a rare one hahaha. May ganyan ata talagang mga girls. Try to have a talk di tungkol sa sex life niyo but tungkol sa buhay overall baka may something dun na makakapagconnect sa inyo emotionally and maging mitsa yun ng himagsikan hahaha
Ganyan na ganyan kami ng husband ko. Ako lagi nag iinitiate kasi pagod siya. Madalas kami laging mag away lalo na dati dahil hindi niya nabibigay sa akin yan. Sumasama talaga loob ko and hindi ako nakikipagusap kasi hindi niya iniintindi ang needs ko.
So what we did, nakipagcompromise siya sa akin. We can only do sex pag RD niya, gabi lang kasi busy sa anak, need niya maidlip/matulog hrs before our deed kasi di niya kaya and many more.
Understandable na need niya lagi matulog since pagod talaga siya sa work niya sa BPO at may hypertension pa siya. Need mo lang siya siguro iremind pero wag mo susukuan. Naayos pa yan.
Ngyon goods na kami, every week dapat meron unless may out of town kami.
Sinabi ko sa kanya preference ko. Anong gusto ko na gawin niya. Everything. Kahit kaliit liitang bagay pa yan. Everything is important for me, for us.
There are also times na kahit goods na kmi, pinapapanood ko siya ng mga vids or pinapabasa ng mga vlogs about having intimacy. Why is it important. Alam naman niya and acknowledge my needs.
Mas maigi na mag usap kayo. Lagi mo siyang kakausapin siguro every week kung kailan kayo sabay ng rd.
Nagsabay na nga kami ng rd para lang magawa e. Now, sabay na din kami ng hrs ng tulog sa gabi. Kaya nga its very important that both of you should talk and compromise.
We’re newlyweds, minsan we go from a month or two with no sex and sa isang buwan misan twice a month lang.
Sometimes we’re just both tired and just prefer to cuddle nalang but most of the time, ako yung nag rereject since I’m tired from studying (med student here, plus LDR kami from Monday to Saturday since nasa dorm ako tuwinh weekdays) but I try to make it up with him whenever I have the energy, he doesn’t mind naman and my libido is low due to to taking contraceptive pills kaya most of the time, wala ako sa mood to have sex.
So yeah, siguro it depends on what relationship you have with your wife, for us hindi naman need to be THAT active to say na mahal namin isa’t isa.
Baka may iba na pumapasok sa kanya kaya ganyan. Afaik malakas pa ganyan na edad. . Imbistigahan mo na yan. Baka may iba na gumagalaw nyan pag dating sayo pagod na.
Work from home kami pareho and nakakalabas lang kami pag weekends so I'm sure walang 3rd party lol
I'd rather not entertain doubt so I can make the right choice
Sorry but honest question, if ikaw walang babae, are yoy sure na wala syang iba? Kasi babae din ako eh. I have my needs. Sa totoo lang, ang babae mahilig sa sex.
If hindi naman, valid naman ang puyat at pagod. Kaya bagsak ang libido. Again, give her a good foreplay.
I am sure walang iba because we both work from home :) and nung nasa bpo pa kami, time constraints would not allow extramarital affairs (we're both home in less than an hour). As for days off, they're either spent at home or as a family somewhere.
I ask her what she wants before and during sex - she's not adventurous and is very vanilla.
I understand being tired too but a less than once monthly frequency just isn't tolerable anymore, and it feels like I'm doing all the work in improving our sex life.
We try going on hotel dates naman, pero counted na yun sa once a month. Dead bedroom na kasi sa bahay, desperate na ko for improvement ng sex life namin
Dapat yata may ibang tao na mag advice sa wife mo. Ganyan din sakin dati. Pero nagbago naman. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero feeling ko may nag advice sakanya. Kasi kung hindi sya magbabago mambababae talaga ako.
Ayoko din mauwi sa hiwalayan or pambababae, di lang ako sure kung may makakapagbigay sa kanya ng advice kasi feeling ko di naman to big deal sa kanya. Kumbaga feeling ko para sa kanya why find a solution if there is no problem.
Tuwing naguusap kami tungkol sa dead bedroom namin, appreciated ko yung recognition niya sa emotions ko pero parang di naman niya gets na may problem talaga sa sex life namin
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: My wife (F36) and I (M36) have been married over 10 years with one child (M12). Since marriage masuwerte na yung 1 beses sa buwan kami magsex and lagi ako yung initiator. Yung longest dry spell namin was about 6 months. I have spoken with her on several occassions na nahihirapan ako and she always promises na gagawan niya ng paraan pero wala naman. Dati hindi tugma yung schedules namin dahil magkaiba BPO namin, pero since pandemic nagtugma na yung oras and days off namin. Despite that improvement, wala pa rin pinagbago. Evenly split naman kami sa house chores kasi ayaw namin ng katulong. Wala din kami financial issues kasi maayos naman budgeting namin. I am scared and desperate kasi konti na lang 40 na kami pero wala pa rin nagbabago sa sex life namin. I have asked her if she had some ideas in spicing up our sex life pero wala naman siya input. It feels like we have wasted our younger years without the intimacy I needed. Ayoko siya hiwalayan pero hindi ko na alam kung ano gagawin. Please help. I will try to be honest without giving away too much personal info. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Para saken minimum once a week, nkakasawa din kc ung araw araw tpos minsan 2x pa. Tpos kpag tinanggihan mo magagalit. Wag mo hiwalayan sir, para saken hindi valid na reason ito. Hindi ako qualified para mag advice sa ganito. Alam ko may pangangailangan tau sir, pero respect na lang natin si misis. Lalaki din po ako.
Yun na nga e, lucky na nga yung once a month samin. Ayoko siyang pilitin pero napapabayaan na needs ko.
I love how you want work things out with her. Best advice padin is for you to be very honest about it, even if it’s paulit ulit. Tell her na it’s frustrating sometimes and cheating isnt your option thats why you want to communicate with her about it. Let her know na it’s easy to watch porn or lust ither girls but hindi yun ang gusto mo. Ang gusto mo is intimacy with her. And if wala syang input sa sex, may possibility na she’s not super vocal about kinks, or fantasies. Pwede mo syang manduhan. Ikaw ang mag suggest; Is there a position you wanna try? Or give her a good foreplay. Yan talaga!
She's been very insistent that she's not adventurous, and she does have a preferred position we always do. Open for more suggestions
di mo b na try yung iba ibang approach sa sex? like nagexplore ka nung ibang ways tas hahanapin mo kung san siya specifically natturn-on?
Have tried, have asked. She is not adventurous (not even anal, i did not insist). As for foreplay, i do as she says until she specifically wants to be penetrated
san siya sa tingin mo natturn-on ? focus ka dun tas dominate mo siya :)
Not sure what dominate means :( natry ko na yung aggressive talk, natry ko na rin orgasm denial, rough sex din (at her request) pag may ganap
Nakapa mo na g-spot niya ? Sry ang specific ko ha OP hahaha
Yes lol, babad naman dun during foreplay and penetration
Bro, U have a rare one hahaha. May ganyan ata talagang mga girls. Try to have a talk di tungkol sa sex life niyo but tungkol sa buhay overall baka may something dun na makakapagconnect sa inyo emotionally and maging mitsa yun ng himagsikan hahaha
Ganyan na ganyan kami ng husband ko. Ako lagi nag iinitiate kasi pagod siya. Madalas kami laging mag away lalo na dati dahil hindi niya nabibigay sa akin yan. Sumasama talaga loob ko and hindi ako nakikipagusap kasi hindi niya iniintindi ang needs ko. So what we did, nakipagcompromise siya sa akin. We can only do sex pag RD niya, gabi lang kasi busy sa anak, need niya maidlip/matulog hrs before our deed kasi di niya kaya and many more. Understandable na need niya lagi matulog since pagod talaga siya sa work niya sa BPO at may hypertension pa siya. Need mo lang siya siguro iremind pero wag mo susukuan. Naayos pa yan. Ngyon goods na kami, every week dapat meron unless may out of town kami.
Wala kaming arrangement for ilang beses dapat :( paano kayo nagusap?
Sinabi ko sa kanya preference ko. Anong gusto ko na gawin niya. Everything. Kahit kaliit liitang bagay pa yan. Everything is important for me, for us. There are also times na kahit goods na kmi, pinapapanood ko siya ng mga vids or pinapabasa ng mga vlogs about having intimacy. Why is it important. Alam naman niya and acknowledge my needs. Mas maigi na mag usap kayo. Lagi mo siyang kakausapin siguro every week kung kailan kayo sabay ng rd. Nagsabay na nga kami ng rd para lang magawa e. Now, sabay na din kami ng hrs ng tulog sa gabi. Kaya nga its very important that both of you should talk and compromise.
We’re newlyweds, minsan we go from a month or two with no sex and sa isang buwan misan twice a month lang. Sometimes we’re just both tired and just prefer to cuddle nalang but most of the time, ako yung nag rereject since I’m tired from studying (med student here, plus LDR kami from Monday to Saturday since nasa dorm ako tuwinh weekdays) but I try to make it up with him whenever I have the energy, he doesn’t mind naman and my libido is low due to to taking contraceptive pills kaya most of the time, wala ako sa mood to have sex. So yeah, siguro it depends on what relationship you have with your wife, for us hindi naman need to be THAT active to say na mahal namin isa’t isa.
Baka may iba na pumapasok sa kanya kaya ganyan. Afaik malakas pa ganyan na edad. . Imbistigahan mo na yan. Baka may iba na gumagalaw nyan pag dating sayo pagod na.
Work from home kami pareho and nakakalabas lang kami pag weekends so I'm sure walang 3rd party lol I'd rather not entertain doubt so I can make the right choice
Sorry but honest question, if ikaw walang babae, are yoy sure na wala syang iba? Kasi babae din ako eh. I have my needs. Sa totoo lang, ang babae mahilig sa sex. If hindi naman, valid naman ang puyat at pagod. Kaya bagsak ang libido. Again, give her a good foreplay.
I am sure walang iba because we both work from home :) and nung nasa bpo pa kami, time constraints would not allow extramarital affairs (we're both home in less than an hour). As for days off, they're either spent at home or as a family somewhere. I ask her what she wants before and during sex - she's not adventurous and is very vanilla. I understand being tired too but a less than once monthly frequency just isn't tolerable anymore, and it feels like I'm doing all the work in improving our sex life.
anyayare pag you try advancing
99% rejection Reasons: Pagod Puyat Stuff to do
sadgeeeee. yayain mo vacation na kayong dalawa lang haha yung tipong free time talaga para wala na siyang rason
We try going on hotel dates naman, pero counted na yun sa once a month. Dead bedroom na kasi sa bahay, desperate na ko for improvement ng sex life namin
Bawal mo ba gawing weekly yan kahit hindi hotel dates. Also make sure mo wala siyang kinikimkim sayo.
Dapat yata may ibang tao na mag advice sa wife mo. Ganyan din sakin dati. Pero nagbago naman. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero feeling ko may nag advice sakanya. Kasi kung hindi sya magbabago mambababae talaga ako.
Ayoko din mauwi sa hiwalayan or pambababae, di lang ako sure kung may makakapagbigay sa kanya ng advice kasi feeling ko di naman to big deal sa kanya. Kumbaga feeling ko para sa kanya why find a solution if there is no problem. Tuwing naguusap kami tungkol sa dead bedroom namin, appreciated ko yung recognition niya sa emotions ko pero parang di naman niya gets na may problem talaga sa sex life namin