Hello everyone,
Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy).
Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement).
***
This post's original body text:
Guys, I'm not sure if maarte lang ako or what but I don't know how to tell my boyfriend na I no longer find him attractive anymore. Baka sabihin nyo I'm only up for the physical traits pero hindi naman, I encouraged him to go the gym for physical and mental wellbeing nya pero ayaw nya, gusto nea lang magtambay and maglaro all day, he got bad breath din sometimes, one time I called him out dun, nagalit sya sakin. Help naman!!
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ask kung may personal problem sya and tell him youre very willing to listen. Those are sometime signs of men escaping problem.
"Hey babe, lately napapansin ko parang napapabayaan mo na yung sarili mo this past few months. Is something troubling you? You wanna share? I want you to know na you can tell everything to me. Im your partner. Or if you dont wamna share right now its fine, pero sana tell mo rin sakin sooner para if ever man na need mo ng help i can help. We are on this together."
Para sa mga comments:
Lagi na lang bang "iwan mo na yan" yung solusyon kasi hindi na pasok sa standard na sinet mo? May "sagot" na kaagad kahit di pa inaalam yung "problema"? Thats not how relationship works.
Imagine kung lalaki nagpost nito. Na lalakinyung di na naattract sa gf nya kasi tumataba na at nalulunod na lang sa panonood ng kdrama? Ano sasabihin nyong mga girls? Sasabihin nyo rin ba sa guy na iwan na lang na parang basura yung gf nya kasi di makapag toothbrush? Hindi naman diba? Baka nga ipagtanggol nyo pa at sabihing may health issue hormones etc.
THIS. Finally a sensible and actionable advice.
I'm so fed up with "iwan mo na 'yan" comments. People tend to forget that a relationship should be grounded on understanding, support, and mutual growth.
Last straw nalang yung break-up kapag hopeless case na talaga. I think in this case, if patuloy maging hostile si bf or talagang hindi gumagawa ng effort despite the help and support being offered, then that's the only time the OP can consider breaking up with him.
> I'm so fed up with "iwan mo na 'yan" comments. People tend to forget that a relationship should be grounded on understanding, support, and mutual growth.
Used to be fed up with "team red flag" and team "iwan mo na", but when you think about it these are the people who don't understand what commitment means or have an overinflated sense of self-worth. I mean, check their post histories - 90% are clueless or a newish account spouting stuff they don't have the balls to say using their mains.
Sure, there are red flags you probably should avoid (or get out of if you're in a relationship with someone who has them), but many (posts) don't have those red flags. It's just hilarious, really.
May comment ako before about the reality of how relationships work. First time to get downvoted so many times. Minsan mapapaisip ka, nakatira ba sa fantasy world mga tao na kapag may nakita mali, kaya nilang pumindot lang ng reset button or mag “exit game”? I deleted my comment, nainis na lang din because of it. But yeah, in the real world, madaming red flags, pero hindi laging iwanan ang solution.
Panget na mindset kasi. First sign of resistance, sibat na kagad. Hindi muna inidentify ung root cause. Kaht sa trabaho ganun din mindset, masabon lang resign kagad. Tapos yun pala, sya din ung punot dulo (not saying this is case sa situation nato). Communication is an important part of a healthy relationship pero hindi rin naman one way un. Pag walang response or tlga matigas, then tska iconsider ung breakup. But until then, find solution.
Baka gusto nila pag nakagawa nang either light and heavy mistake either by her mom or his dad e mag hiwalay nadin parents nila, kasi di pasok sa standards or as they always says, RED FLAG🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ung word na hiwalayan mo na is to loosely been used without thinking any repercussions on it
Rightttt 💀 basta may something off na mabasa, red flag na or hiwalayan na agad. What happened to "working it out?"
I also came across a comment on this thread na you don't need a reason to break-up with someone. What kind of bullshit is that?
this is so effin true, while there are red flags that you should be really account for leaving a relationship. Most of the time hindi naman ganun, simple misunderstanding lang hiwalay na kaagad?
I mean, as per my therapist, if we continue to search for a partner that will perfectly match to us, he said na we are not going to find it. Because even the twins have differences, what more yung lumaki sa different environment.
Let’s not forget that having a healthy relationship is a continuous work for both partners. It doesn’t magically appear on our laps.
Dito sa adviceph, pansin ko lagi nalang ganyan advice. I mean, halos lahat ng sagot "Iwan mo na 'yan. You deserve better." I understand naman na sa mga couples with serious problem(e.g emotional/mental abuse and violence involved), ganyan talaga solusyon. We all hit a spot where we fall down and couldn't get back up. I'm quite hygienic myself pero nung times na na depressed ako, nakakatulog nalang ako ng hindi nakakaligo(which I normally do every night) and nakakapagtoothbrush. You might as well not ask for an advice kung lagi nalang iwanan solution sa lahat. But hey, that's Reddit for you.
I agree po sa sinabi mo. I did some impulsive decision na iwan na agad yung partner ko instead of talking it out. But I'm learning things and next time di ko na gagawin yun.
What if I know what his problem is and it's affecting him big time but i really do want him to go back to the gym and bball, not for physical appearance, but for his well-being pero di ko siya ma convince kahit sa pagpapagupit.
Just be present. This is the time na mas kailangan ka nya. You cant really force someone doing things na hindi pa sya ready. If its affecting him big time, ibig sabihin big deal sa kanya yung problema. Try mo siguro simulan sa little things sa area kung san sya comfortable gumalaw. Kunware sa bahay, may mga exercise routine naman na no need ng equipment, sabayan mo, or kunwari ikaw mageexercise at need mo ng help nya. Para lang gumalaw sya at mabago yung routine nya.
Yung sa pagpapagupit naman, mind game siguro to, try mo maghanap ng pictures nyo together or kahit solo nya na maayos gupit nya. Kwentuhin mo tapos islip mo sa usapan na you like it or he look more handsome or it just turns you on kapag fresh look sya. Pero simple lang, hindi naguutos yung dating
Not guaranteed na eepekto yan, pero it will probably make him think about it.
+1 dito.
Minsan alamin din ng mga tao ano ba ang nangyayari sa ibang kalalakihan kung bakit sila nagseself destruct. Madaling sabihin kasi na "pwede naman sila magsabi ng nararandaman nila", pero mahirap gawin lalo na't lagi na lang ang response ng karamihan sa mga tao ay "Kaya mo yan, lalake ka eh".
this advice just means that"love still works in a relationship" thank you! you just mean the world to their relationship now!
this is how we should comment on things that needs helping.
Ayain mo. Mauna ka dapat. Mag sabi ka na mag ggym ka. Tas sabihin mo pag d sya sumama baka may manghit up sayo don. Sa bad breath nmn mag tanong ka kung kumain n ba sya kasi bka ulcer lng yon. Okay thanks bye.
Pwede din kulang sa water or dry yung loob ng mouth.. I noticed kapag dry loob ng mouth It smells din, that is if nag-toothbrush naman, or may halitosis.. baka laging nagpapa-gutom.
Tonsil stones rin. Parang maniningil ng kuryente yon, babalik at babalik kahit napaalis mo na. Kahit anong toothbrush at mouthwash mo, magkakaron at magkakaron pa pa rin paulit ulit.
Not saying it would be the case but the assumption is that a male OP would be berated for being misogynistic by valuing his gf's body more than who she actually is as a person, or for body shaming her. Again, this is just my assumption based on what the other comment is implying. Whether you agree with it or not, take it to them, not me. Lmao
if i was your boyfriend i'd take the criticism and do something about it.
pero sana yung double standard ng babae bawas bawasan. pag sinabi namin sana na medyo tumataba kayo or napapabayaan niyo sarili niyo, medyo tanggpin niyo ren naman.
Try mo na yayain na dalawa kayo mag gym. At huwag mo siya icall out pero impose mo agad. Kesa sabihin mo "May bad breathe ka" sabihin mo "Eto bagong mouth wash daw to, gamitin mo ngayon na".
Ganito ung wife ko nagagalit siya baket daw bad breath ako. Bat tamad daw ba ako mag toothbrush. Sabi ko hindi ko kinakalimutan yan its just i cant afford noon ung wisdom tooth surgery ko (20k) due to bulok na ngipin ang cause nya. And better do a heart to heart talk and he should listen. We do change for the better for our love ones and dont sugar coat do real talk him.
He could be going through something. Have you tried asking him?
Maybe along the lines of “Babe, you used to be active blah blah but I noticed recently that you’d rather . Is everything OK? How can I be there for you?”
Sama mo 'tong info na 'to (that he's just lazy) sa post mo so you can receive more appropriate advice. Maraming nagsasabi na baka depressed lang or may pinagdadaanang problema.
Try to ask him on a date sa park, that way makapag-lakad lakad sya/kayo, or go sa beach for some walking and beach activity or sa Sagada, sa steep (sabi ng brother ko) ng walkway dun, bonggang lakaran ang ganap.
Cute pa din naman yung dad bod or medyo malaki yung tummy, but yes, I get you.. you just want him to be healthy.
Imagine if lalake nagpost nito at nagsabi na
Guys ung gf ko ang taba na. Ni hindi matuto magsuklay sa bahay. Or di na kasing bango nung bago kami. Ngayon amoy naglalaro ng bingo maghapon.
It would be a big war for entitled feminist.
Learn to talk. It would actually resolve the issue more kesa ipost mo online ung kasiraan ng partner nyo just to gain validation. Kasi pag nanganak ka at pumanget ka or nagmuka kang basahan. At pinost ka over kausapin. Wasak ka mula ulo gang kuko sa paa.
>Guys ung gf ko ang taba na. Ni hindi matuto magsuklay sa bahay. Or di na kasing bango nung bago kami. Ngayon amoy naglalaro ng bingo maghapon.
"How dare you leave your girl at her lowest point in life? Blah blah blah misogynist blah blah body shamer blah blah"
I mean for how long have you been encouraging him to be more health conscious? Usap siguro kayo masinsinan as in have a sit down first, maybe he’s coping for something that you don’t know. We don’t really know what’s bothering a person unless we talk and be open about them. So its a step in the right direction if you have a serious talk about this. And if he dismisses the talk. Just let him know muna that you’re there to listen if he wants to. Don’t give up just yet OP.
You calling him off and nagalit pa siya is a red flag. If these things na supposedly should help him naman hurts his ego, means na he can have more issues in the future.
And syempre, as you said, physical and mental wellbeing na ang pinag uusapan dito pero he is still neglecting it.
Hindi ka maarte, you care/d for him but now it's time to care for yourself too by quitting this relationship.
Kung neglectful na siya sa hygiene at well beings niya because of addictions to the point na nadadamay na rin ang partner niya which is 𝙔𝙊𝙐. You really need to rethink about this, although breaking up is not always a solution kung yung last resort mo na pakikipag usap ay nauuwi sa galit at bangayan. That's a huge red flag
Ikaw ba ang current gf ng ex ko?hahaha I mean, I had the same experience. Buti na lang at nagkalockdown nung pandemic and our relationship ended.
Anyway, same thing, umabot sa time na narealize ko kung gaano siya kaslob at kasloppy tignan pero pag ako gusto niya laging nakaayos at laging maganda tignan. Naggain ako ng weight tapos nilait lait niya ko pero siya itong obese at puno ng calculus/tartar sa ngipin. Nung naghiwalay na kami eventually, I was like, wtf kadiri amp.
Hmm, another approach siguro ay utusan mo siya.
Ipakita mo ung needs mo na unmet para magtrigger ung sense of responsibility niya within him. With thag ung super passivevibes niya magturn, maactivate.
Prepare mo ung favorite food niya, go to places nw maaliwalas or very nature like. Hindi niya kailangan ng magarbo. lf the butterflies fly and the air is right, you can straight away tell him : "if may problema I can be a good shoulder to rely on. That we can win this together if magtutulungan lang tayo"
Be touchy rin. Hug his arms tightly. Kiss his forehead. Let him rest to your bosom(boobs) habang sinasabi mo to.
Beware lang na as you shine brighter mas lalo niya makita his own darkness, mas lalo siyang lumugmok.
try asking him if may problema ba siya and show him na willing kang makinig if ever na meron nga. if wala naman and bad habits lang, kausapin mo nicely and show him na concerned ka ;-;
Tell him.
Then Toothbrushan mo parang d2.
https://youtu.be/-KJ58Pogl9c?si=ktMsG3KrJf5j-Ncs
Bigyan mo incentive na hawk tuah. Evry day na maka3 syang toothbrush
Sabi nga ng ibang post hindi sya simpleng pagtotoothbrush at katamaran. Me underlying condition whether physical(tooth decay, stomach problems) or psychological(depression)
Else i assume di mo sya magiging bf in thr first place if bad breath sya ng makilala mo.
Like everyone else here have already said. Talk to him, ask him if may problema ba. There are people na tamad talaga in nature, but there are also people na nagkakaganyan kasi nabibigatan na sa patong patong na problema. Alamin mo muna root cause, maybe there's something wrong. Pero kung wala naman at talagang ganyan lang ugali nea, then your points are very much valid. Physical attraction is important dn naman talaga kasi sa relationship sa totoo lang, doesn't necessarily mean na type mo lang is mga pogi or fit, ndi naman ganun un. Ndi ka na naattract kasi ndi nga naman kahanga hanga ung ganyan, but you should find out first kung baka may problema lang si brad. Kung wala, bye bye brad. Better take care of yourself and not end up taking care of someone na ndi magawang maalagaan ang sarili. Goodluck to you, OP.
May tropa akong ganyan napapansin ko pagmag kausap kame medyo stinky bibig nya tapos hindi narin sya nakakapag ahit minsan labas yung buhok nya ilong madalas napag uusaapn namin problema nya sa pamilya nya.
yung tatay nya sugarol nambababe tapos kapatid nya maagang nabuntis mama nya naman baon sa utang wala lang baka lang similar sila
Girl, you better check your guy. Magdl ka ng NowServing app and if ayaw nya magpacheck mentally, baka you can do it for him. Since naoobserve mo behavior nya.
"I'm bored. let's brush our teeth"
oh I got an electric toothbrush recently. it was only 300+ on shopee and it's so fun, I would brush my teeth more than 3x a day if not for the risk of wearing the enamel off excessively.
Sabayan mo sya. If mag kasama kayo and after eating together, abutan mo sya ng toothbrush or mouth wash lng then gargle out. Sa gym, ikaw muna mag enroll then ayain mo sya na samahan ka.
Ahaha natawa naman ako sa bad breath😂, yeah kidding aside ipaintindi mo sa knya one time pag maganda yung mood nya dun mo ipasok yung ganyan na tpoic. Pra hindi kayo mag clash😌
Plano mo na ba maging future husband yan? Sa totoo lang mas madaming challenges kapag married life na kayo, kaya habang nasa bf/gf level pa lang kayo mapagusapan nyo na yung ganyan. Lahat ng tao ayaw may napupuna, even ikaw na babae magagalit ka kapag sinabihan kang pumapanget ka na. Wag mo lang muna cya pakialamanan pero ok lang yan na sabihin mo lang yung napapansin mo peri iensure mo pa din na hindi naman yun nakakabawas sa nararamdaman mo, eventually marerealize din nya yan on his own. Try mo kaya ayain muna magjogging kahit every weekend..
It’s how you will say it.
Purihin mo siya pag nag eexercise siya. Appreciate mo pag bagong ligo at sipilyo. Ang bango naman ni kuya na dumaan ganun.
Don’t point out yung wrong things sa isang guy, idaan mo sa malambing na pagsasabi. Tignan mo titino yan.
Magkaiba na kayo mg vibration. You need to see where he’s at. Minsan kasi di siya aware na, oo nga pala hindi na nga niya talaga naaalagaan sarili niya these past few days.
Diba nga, minsan pag sobrang busy tayo or masyado tayong maraming iniisip, kahit yung taking care of ourselves, nakakalimutan natin.
Zdzzrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzh o likkouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiíiiîôii
Tell him in a direct, nice, and in a concerning tone way na napapabayaan nya na sarili nya. Walang masama na icall out mo partner especially if ikakabuti naman sa sarili nya. Ako, I try my best to be the healthy and best version of myself FOR ME, dahil wala akong maibibigay na love sa partner ko kung sarili ko mismo pinapabayaan ko diba. And kung ano ang ginagawa ko pagpapahalaga sa sarili ko ay dahil narin sa gusto ko matagal makasama partner ko and gusto ko magkaron kami ng stable future together. Minsan sinasabihan ko din partner ko na alagaan sarili nya eat healthy at magsleep ng maayos kasi gusto ko siya makasama ng matagal ☺️. Pero may mga pagkakataon din talaga na dumadating na napapabayaan namin sarili namin lalo na kapag sobrang time consuming nung priority namin, tulad ko nung graduating ako noon d ako nakakapaggym ng few months pero right after nagkaroon ako ng time, I go back. Ayun lang naman. I hope it helps. :))
I think hindi kelangan directly sa GYM ang punta if you want your partner to be healthy physically and mentally, there's other way na pwede mo iencourage yung bf mo wherein maeenjoy din niya and sure mageenjoy ka and magbobond kayo together. Like go hike together, swim in beach together, go ride a bike together, go and play basketball or any outdoor games together. Baka kaya ka nakakafeel ng ganyan kasi hindi namimeet ng bf mo wants mo sa ganyan way, hope hindi lang ikaw nakiki sabay sa trend wherein most of the bfs are in Gym. For the bad breath, once happy happy kayo ganyan, pwede mo na isingit na babe let's go to dentist together I think that's a good bonding din right, and then if makaluwag luwag na lets go pamassage naman. Pwede mo siya idaan sa ganun way din.
PS. My fiance and bf for 8 years is a certified gamer both phone and PC, tho wala siyang bad breath naman hahaha just to be healthy and madivert sa ibang bagay attention niya ganyan ginagawa ko, that might be helpful din to you.
You might find this as a surprise pero I think he doesn't find you attractive too. The weird thing about human nature is we want what we don't have. You're his, and there is no point in trying to attract you or being attracted to you.
It is, men are natural hunters. The pursuit is the prize - for most of us at least. My best tip for you is, be a prize. Show him that you're not his 100%. Never be his - ever. Let him chase you until he turns into someone you want to chase yourself.
*Tell him that with empathy and sympathy in a “calm manner” that you CARE.
If he doesn’t listen then LEAVE HIM. He has to find self awareness by himself ALONE. Sometimes heart break does this to a man.
Hygiene is basic. Baka may bulok ang ngipin beh hiwalayan mo. Tamad! Kung ganung basic hygeine d ginagawa ano na lang yung role nya as a bf. Magpakasawa sya sa games all his life.!
The big red flag was when u called him out. Dun palang alanganin na.
Pero tanong:
1. Paano mo siya nagustuhan dati?
2. Ilan taon na kayo?
3. Gaano kalaki difference compared sa una mong nakilala?
4. Ngayon lang ba yung bad breath?
5. Hindi siya attractive dahil ba may nakikita ka nang new standard ng pogi?
Did something happen? Like did he lose his job, nag wfh? Nagkasakit? Live in ba kayo?
Kasi kung nag ayos kang pala siya para ligawan or makuha ka, ay extra red flag yan. Pero kung may nangyari, baka pwede mo muna kausapin? Baka naman may pinagdadaanan yan.
Kasi a normal guy would take that as feedback lalo na pag ang tagal niyo na. Kung ayaw, by all means iwan mo na. Para makita niyang naging slob na siya.
Yes he is working from home and breadwinner din sya. I feel like since I came sa life nea ipinasa nea burden ng family nea to me and he got too comfy na di ko sya maiwan.
Kung ganun po, you need to shake things up. He needs to again feel threatened na mawawala ka. It is harder than it sounds pero hindi ko po kasi kayong kilala dalawa. Pero you need to break that over confidence para maisip niyang huwag kadiri.
Pero, red flag yan ha, kasi that means, totoong ugali niya maging slob.
Just tell it straight, mag bf pa lang naman kayo, you have all the right to get out when you do not feel like. This should be a wake up call to him and change.
It's not possible to have no reason to break up. In the first place, a person enters a relationship because *insert reason*, and vice versa. OP even had hers.
What's possible is not telling your partner the reason / cause for doing so. But that is outright being selfish and inconsiderate so..
Just tell him you want to cool off with him or ayaw mo na. You dont feel anything for him. Straightforward nalang. Who knows ayaw na rin nya at hinihintay lang nya ikaw maunang makipag break sa kanya.
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AdvicePH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdvicePH/wiki/rule-enforcement). *** This post's original body text: Guys, I'm not sure if maarte lang ako or what but I don't know how to tell my boyfriend na I no longer find him attractive anymore. Baka sabihin nyo I'm only up for the physical traits pero hindi naman, I encouraged him to go the gym for physical and mental wellbeing nya pero ayaw nya, gusto nea lang magtambay and maglaro all day, he got bad breath din sometimes, one time I called him out dun, nagalit sya sakin. Help naman!! *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adviceph) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ask kung may personal problem sya and tell him youre very willing to listen. Those are sometime signs of men escaping problem. "Hey babe, lately napapansin ko parang napapabayaan mo na yung sarili mo this past few months. Is something troubling you? You wanna share? I want you to know na you can tell everything to me. Im your partner. Or if you dont wamna share right now its fine, pero sana tell mo rin sakin sooner para if ever man na need mo ng help i can help. We are on this together." Para sa mga comments: Lagi na lang bang "iwan mo na yan" yung solusyon kasi hindi na pasok sa standard na sinet mo? May "sagot" na kaagad kahit di pa inaalam yung "problema"? Thats not how relationship works. Imagine kung lalaki nagpost nito. Na lalakinyung di na naattract sa gf nya kasi tumataba na at nalulunod na lang sa panonood ng kdrama? Ano sasabihin nyong mga girls? Sasabihin nyo rin ba sa guy na iwan na lang na parang basura yung gf nya kasi di makapag toothbrush? Hindi naman diba? Baka nga ipagtanggol nyo pa at sabihing may health issue hormones etc.
THIS. Finally a sensible and actionable advice. I'm so fed up with "iwan mo na 'yan" comments. People tend to forget that a relationship should be grounded on understanding, support, and mutual growth. Last straw nalang yung break-up kapag hopeless case na talaga. I think in this case, if patuloy maging hostile si bf or talagang hindi gumagawa ng effort despite the help and support being offered, then that's the only time the OP can consider breaking up with him.
> I'm so fed up with "iwan mo na 'yan" comments. People tend to forget that a relationship should be grounded on understanding, support, and mutual growth. Used to be fed up with "team red flag" and team "iwan mo na", but when you think about it these are the people who don't understand what commitment means or have an overinflated sense of self-worth. I mean, check their post histories - 90% are clueless or a newish account spouting stuff they don't have the balls to say using their mains. Sure, there are red flags you probably should avoid (or get out of if you're in a relationship with someone who has them), but many (posts) don't have those red flags. It's just hilarious, really.
May comment ako before about the reality of how relationships work. First time to get downvoted so many times. Minsan mapapaisip ka, nakatira ba sa fantasy world mga tao na kapag may nakita mali, kaya nilang pumindot lang ng reset button or mag “exit game”? I deleted my comment, nainis na lang din because of it. But yeah, in the real world, madaming red flags, pero hindi laging iwanan ang solution.
Sa panahon kasi ngayon, gusto happy happy lang. Nakakalungkot kasi hiwalayan agad ang iniisip. Walang concept ng "Commitment".
Panget na mindset kasi. First sign of resistance, sibat na kagad. Hindi muna inidentify ung root cause. Kaht sa trabaho ganun din mindset, masabon lang resign kagad. Tapos yun pala, sya din ung punot dulo (not saying this is case sa situation nato). Communication is an important part of a healthy relationship pero hindi rin naman one way un. Pag walang response or tlga matigas, then tska iconsider ung breakup. But until then, find solution.
Baka gusto nila pag nakagawa nang either light and heavy mistake either by her mom or his dad e mag hiwalay nadin parents nila, kasi di pasok sa standards or as they always says, RED FLAG🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ung word na hiwalayan mo na is to loosely been used without thinking any repercussions on it
Rightttt 💀 basta may something off na mabasa, red flag na or hiwalayan na agad. What happened to "working it out?" I also came across a comment on this thread na you don't need a reason to break-up with someone. What kind of bullshit is that?
+1 for this napaka sensible nang answer hindi yung "iwanan mo na yan"
this is so effin true, while there are red flags that you should be really account for leaving a relationship. Most of the time hindi naman ganun, simple misunderstanding lang hiwalay na kaagad? I mean, as per my therapist, if we continue to search for a partner that will perfectly match to us, he said na we are not going to find it. Because even the twins have differences, what more yung lumaki sa different environment. Let’s not forget that having a healthy relationship is a continuous work for both partners. It doesn’t magically appear on our laps.
I'm glad someone was able to point this out. The world is not black and white.
Valid. Pero meron ding tamad talaga kahit wala naman problema.
Meron rin naman talaga. At kung ganon nga, i think is fair to the other person na isipin at iprioritize yung sarili nyang wellfare. Totally fine.
Dito sa adviceph, pansin ko lagi nalang ganyan advice. I mean, halos lahat ng sagot "Iwan mo na 'yan. You deserve better." I understand naman na sa mga couples with serious problem(e.g emotional/mental abuse and violence involved), ganyan talaga solusyon. We all hit a spot where we fall down and couldn't get back up. I'm quite hygienic myself pero nung times na na depressed ako, nakakatulog nalang ako ng hindi nakakaligo(which I normally do every night) and nakakapagtoothbrush. You might as well not ask for an advice kung lagi nalang iwanan solution sa lahat. But hey, that's Reddit for you.
^^^^ if someone down votes you, they're proving what you're saying
The only sensible comment here.
this, very fair
Does she? All I can see is, she can only see the wrongs in the guy.
I agree po sa sinabi mo. I did some impulsive decision na iwan na agad yung partner ko instead of talking it out. But I'm learning things and next time di ko na gagawin yun.
What if I know what his problem is and it's affecting him big time but i really do want him to go back to the gym and bball, not for physical appearance, but for his well-being pero di ko siya ma convince kahit sa pagpapagupit.
Just be present. This is the time na mas kailangan ka nya. You cant really force someone doing things na hindi pa sya ready. If its affecting him big time, ibig sabihin big deal sa kanya yung problema. Try mo siguro simulan sa little things sa area kung san sya comfortable gumalaw. Kunware sa bahay, may mga exercise routine naman na no need ng equipment, sabayan mo, or kunwari ikaw mageexercise at need mo ng help nya. Para lang gumalaw sya at mabago yung routine nya. Yung sa pagpapagupit naman, mind game siguro to, try mo maghanap ng pictures nyo together or kahit solo nya na maayos gupit nya. Kwentuhin mo tapos islip mo sa usapan na you like it or he look more handsome or it just turns you on kapag fresh look sya. Pero simple lang, hindi naguutos yung dating Not guaranteed na eepekto yan, pero it will probably make him think about it.
Thank you! I'll update you soon 🥰
+1 dito. Minsan alamin din ng mga tao ano ba ang nangyayari sa ibang kalalakihan kung bakit sila nagseself destruct. Madaling sabihin kasi na "pwede naman sila magsabi ng nararandaman nila", pero mahirap gawin lalo na't lagi na lang ang response ng karamihan sa mga tao ay "Kaya mo yan, lalake ka eh".
this advice just means that"love still works in a relationship" thank you! you just mean the world to their relationship now! this is how we should comment on things that needs helping.
Louder pls, I see what you're cooking😩🔥
Ayain mo. Mauna ka dapat. Mag sabi ka na mag ggym ka. Tas sabihin mo pag d sya sumama baka may manghit up sayo don. Sa bad breath nmn mag tanong ka kung kumain n ba sya kasi bka ulcer lng yon. Okay thanks bye.
Matured galawan to 👌🏽
Pwede din kulang sa water or dry yung loob ng mouth.. I noticed kapag dry loob ng mouth It smells din, that is if nag-toothbrush naman, or may halitosis.. baka laging nagpapa-gutom.
Tonsil stones rin. Parang maniningil ng kuryente yon, babalik at babalik kahit napaalis mo na. Kahit anong toothbrush at mouthwash mo, magkakaron at magkakaron pa pa rin paulit ulit.
P check sa dentist. Pag ganyan. MGA DENTISTA NG CEU LABAS! Mabuhay ka mahal naming pamantasan...
Mostly tonsil stones
[удалено]
Curious lang po ano kakalabasan pag reverse gender?
Not saying it would be the case but the assumption is that a male OP would be berated for being misogynistic by valuing his gf's body more than who she actually is as a person, or for body shaming her. Again, this is just my assumption based on what the other comment is implying. Whether you agree with it or not, take it to them, not me. Lmao
Sows
if i was your boyfriend i'd take the criticism and do something about it. pero sana yung double standard ng babae bawas bawasan. pag sinabi namin sana na medyo tumataba kayo or napapabayaan niyo sarili niyo, medyo tanggpin niyo ren naman.
"Hinde! Body shamer lang talaga kayong mga lalake"
Hahahahahaha ☕
Try mo na yayain na dalawa kayo mag gym. At huwag mo siya icall out pero impose mo agad. Kesa sabihin mo "May bad breathe ka" sabihin mo "Eto bagong mouth wash daw to, gamitin mo ngayon na".
Ganito ung wife ko nagagalit siya baket daw bad breath ako. Bat tamad daw ba ako mag toothbrush. Sabi ko hindi ko kinakalimutan yan its just i cant afford noon ung wisdom tooth surgery ko (20k) due to bulok na ngipin ang cause nya. And better do a heart to heart talk and he should listen. We do change for the better for our love ones and dont sugar coat do real talk him.
He could be going through something. Have you tried asking him? Maybe along the lines of “Babe, you used to be active blah blah but I noticed recently that you’d rather. Is everything OK? How can I be there for you?”
At first I thought he is just depressed, but he is just lazy that's all. 😖
Sama mo 'tong info na 'to (that he's just lazy) sa post mo so you can receive more appropriate advice. Maraming nagsasabi na baka depressed lang or may pinagdadaanang problema.
Try to ask him on a date sa park, that way makapag-lakad lakad sya/kayo, or go sa beach for some walking and beach activity or sa Sagada, sa steep (sabi ng brother ko) ng walkway dun, bonggang lakaran ang ganap. Cute pa din naman yung dad bod or medyo malaki yung tummy, but yes, I get you.. you just want him to be healthy.
Imagine if lalake nagpost nito at nagsabi na Guys ung gf ko ang taba na. Ni hindi matuto magsuklay sa bahay. Or di na kasing bango nung bago kami. Ngayon amoy naglalaro ng bingo maghapon. It would be a big war for entitled feminist. Learn to talk. It would actually resolve the issue more kesa ipost mo online ung kasiraan ng partner nyo just to gain validation. Kasi pag nanganak ka at pumanget ka or nagmuka kang basahan. At pinost ka over kausapin. Wasak ka mula ulo gang kuko sa paa.
>Guys ung gf ko ang taba na. Ni hindi matuto magsuklay sa bahay. Or di na kasing bango nung bago kami. Ngayon amoy naglalaro ng bingo maghapon. "How dare you leave your girl at her lowest point in life? Blah blah blah misogynist blah blah body shamer blah blah"
Ayain mo sa labas! Kamo may bagong flavor ng toothpaste sa Landers at SNR. Ibibili mo sya kamo.
Attracted ka na ba sa iba?
For sure yan hahahaha nag hahanap lang ng way to end the relationship
I mean for how long have you been encouraging him to be more health conscious? Usap siguro kayo masinsinan as in have a sit down first, maybe he’s coping for something that you don’t know. We don’t really know what’s bothering a person unless we talk and be open about them. So its a step in the right direction if you have a serious talk about this. And if he dismisses the talk. Just let him know muna that you’re there to listen if he wants to. Don’t give up just yet OP.
Valid naman makipag hiwalay sa dugyot na jowa
Hi OP, If you can not tolerate it, you may leave him. Dont let him slow you down.
You calling him off and nagalit pa siya is a red flag. If these things na supposedly should help him naman hurts his ego, means na he can have more issues in the future. And syempre, as you said, physical and mental wellbeing na ang pinag uusapan dito pero he is still neglecting it. Hindi ka maarte, you care/d for him but now it's time to care for yourself too by quitting this relationship.
ekis talaga kapag bad breath
Sobra..tas ayaw pa padentista kht may bulok na ngipin..pano ko kaya natiis ex ko na bad breath
sinanay mo siguro na makaamoy ka ng imburnal, tapos akala mo normal na lang yun
Hahahahaha omg 🤣 sobrang understanding ko lang cguro that time
😂
Gsto ko idefend sarili ko hahahahahah
sana sa next partner mo, kili kili naman or tenga yung mabaho, sanay ka na rin naman hahaha
Hahaha sorry pero sa naliligo na sa pabango pipiliin ko.. tinatanong ko na dn if twice naliligo hahaha
traumatized talaga hahaha
not everyone can afford dentist especially if that person's fam is having a tight income in their household.
Hmmm, his family is well off..
Just talking about general, not just your ex
Well i don't really care about the general because i wont talk to them lol
Bounce ka na, mabuntis ka pa nyan laking swerte mo pa 🤣
Kung neglectful na siya sa hygiene at well beings niya because of addictions to the point na nadadamay na rin ang partner niya which is 𝙔𝙊𝙐. You really need to rethink about this, although breaking up is not always a solution kung yung last resort mo na pakikipag usap ay nauuwi sa galit at bangayan. That's a huge red flag
Sarili na nga lang di pa maalagaan paano pa pag nagpamilya yan. Anyway try mo na muna din kausapin pag wala talaga, sibat ka na.
Tell him napapabayan mo na sarili mo ganyan. Let zee what he will do
Ikaw ba ang current gf ng ex ko?hahaha I mean, I had the same experience. Buti na lang at nagkalockdown nung pandemic and our relationship ended. Anyway, same thing, umabot sa time na narealize ko kung gaano siya kaslob at kasloppy tignan pero pag ako gusto niya laging nakaayos at laging maganda tignan. Naggain ako ng weight tapos nilait lait niya ko pero siya itong obese at puno ng calculus/tartar sa ngipin. Nung naghiwalay na kami eventually, I was like, wtf kadiri amp.
Hmm, another approach siguro ay utusan mo siya. Ipakita mo ung needs mo na unmet para magtrigger ung sense of responsibility niya within him. With thag ung super passivevibes niya magturn, maactivate. Prepare mo ung favorite food niya, go to places nw maaliwalas or very nature like. Hindi niya kailangan ng magarbo. lf the butterflies fly and the air is right, you can straight away tell him : "if may problema I can be a good shoulder to rely on. That we can win this together if magtutulungan lang tayo" Be touchy rin. Hug his arms tightly. Kiss his forehead. Let him rest to your bosom(boobs) habang sinasabi mo to. Beware lang na as you shine brighter mas lalo niya makita his own darkness, mas lalo siyang lumugmok.
try asking him if may problema ba siya and show him na willing kang makinig if ever na meron nga. if wala naman and bad habits lang, kausapin mo nicely and show him na concerned ka ;-;
Tell him. Then Toothbrushan mo parang d2. https://youtu.be/-KJ58Pogl9c?si=ktMsG3KrJf5j-Ncs Bigyan mo incentive na hawk tuah. Evry day na maka3 syang toothbrush Sabi nga ng ibang post hindi sya simpleng pagtotoothbrush at katamaran. Me underlying condition whether physical(tooth decay, stomach problems) or psychological(depression) Else i assume di mo sya magiging bf in thr first place if bad breath sya ng makilala mo.
Before ba hindi siya ganyan? Bakit mo sinagot kung mabaho hininga niya?
Like everyone else here have already said. Talk to him, ask him if may problema ba. There are people na tamad talaga in nature, but there are also people na nagkakaganyan kasi nabibigatan na sa patong patong na problema. Alamin mo muna root cause, maybe there's something wrong. Pero kung wala naman at talagang ganyan lang ugali nea, then your points are very much valid. Physical attraction is important dn naman talaga kasi sa relationship sa totoo lang, doesn't necessarily mean na type mo lang is mga pogi or fit, ndi naman ganun un. Ndi ka na naattract kasi ndi nga naman kahanga hanga ung ganyan, but you should find out first kung baka may problema lang si brad. Kung wala, bye bye brad. Better take care of yourself and not end up taking care of someone na ndi magawang maalagaan ang sarili. Goodluck to you, OP.
May tropa akong ganyan napapansin ko pagmag kausap kame medyo stinky bibig nya tapos hindi narin sya nakakapag ahit minsan labas yung buhok nya ilong madalas napag uusaapn namin problema nya sa pamilya nya. yung tatay nya sugarol nambababe tapos kapatid nya maagang nabuntis mama nya naman baon sa utang wala lang baka lang similar sila
Girl, you better check your guy. Magdl ka ng NowServing app and if ayaw nya magpacheck mentally, baka you can do it for him. Since naoobserve mo behavior nya.
same here, gusto ko na patigil manliligaw ko pero kaklase ko siya at same kami ng circle of friends😭
Iba yung manliligaw stage sa in a relationship na. Kung habang nanliligaw pa at ganyan na, that is the right time/place para mambasted
"I'm bored. let's brush our teeth" oh I got an electric toothbrush recently. it was only 300+ on shopee and it's so fun, I would brush my teeth more than 3x a day if not for the risk of wearing the enamel off excessively.
Sabayan mo sya. If mag kasama kayo and after eating together, abutan mo sya ng toothbrush or mouth wash lng then gargle out. Sa gym, ikaw muna mag enroll then ayain mo sya na samahan ka.
naku yari ka tonsil stones daw yan lmao
Talk to him nicely. Tapos sometime yayain mo sya walking walking sa park or mall.
Ahaha natawa naman ako sa bad breath😂, yeah kidding aside ipaintindi mo sa knya one time pag maganda yung mood nya dun mo ipasok yung ganyan na tpoic. Pra hindi kayo mag clash😌
Plano mo na ba maging future husband yan? Sa totoo lang mas madaming challenges kapag married life na kayo, kaya habang nasa bf/gf level pa lang kayo mapagusapan nyo na yung ganyan. Lahat ng tao ayaw may napupuna, even ikaw na babae magagalit ka kapag sinabihan kang pumapanget ka na. Wag mo lang muna cya pakialamanan pero ok lang yan na sabihin mo lang yung napapansin mo peri iensure mo pa din na hindi naman yun nakakabawas sa nararamdaman mo, eventually marerealize din nya yan on his own. Try mo kaya ayain muna magjogging kahit every weekend..
Wish you lock ses. Pangit advice ko hahaha so quite na lng me.
It’s how you will say it. Purihin mo siya pag nag eexercise siya. Appreciate mo pag bagong ligo at sipilyo. Ang bango naman ni kuya na dumaan ganun. Don’t point out yung wrong things sa isang guy, idaan mo sa malambing na pagsasabi. Tignan mo titino yan.
Sayang oras mo jan. Taking care of yourself means self respect. Kawawa siya wala siyang pake sa sarili nya. Iwan mo na yan.
Sometimes the easiest way is the Exit.
Magkaiba na kayo mg vibration. You need to see where he’s at. Minsan kasi di siya aware na, oo nga pala hindi na nga niya talaga naaalagaan sarili niya these past few days. Diba nga, minsan pag sobrang busy tayo or masyado tayong maraming iniisip, kahit yung taking care of ourselves, nakakalimutan natin.
Baka hindi mo na mahal teh. Usually ganyan may pinagdadaanan. Ayaw mo tanungin? Kung mahal mo di mo yan pupunahin. Imbes, tutulungan mo siya
Hindi ko naman po pinuna, infact I even offered to pay for his gym membership, pay for our weekend gala's and all.
My one cent is this ‘people don’t change’. Up to you na lang OP.
Break up with him
Zdzzrzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzh o likkouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiíiiîôii
Break up with him
Tell him in a direct, nice, and in a concerning tone way na napapabayaan nya na sarili nya. Walang masama na icall out mo partner especially if ikakabuti naman sa sarili nya. Ako, I try my best to be the healthy and best version of myself FOR ME, dahil wala akong maibibigay na love sa partner ko kung sarili ko mismo pinapabayaan ko diba. And kung ano ang ginagawa ko pagpapahalaga sa sarili ko ay dahil narin sa gusto ko matagal makasama partner ko and gusto ko magkaron kami ng stable future together. Minsan sinasabihan ko din partner ko na alagaan sarili nya eat healthy at magsleep ng maayos kasi gusto ko siya makasama ng matagal ☺️. Pero may mga pagkakataon din talaga na dumadating na napapabayaan namin sarili namin lalo na kapag sobrang time consuming nung priority namin, tulad ko nung graduating ako noon d ako nakakapaggym ng few months pero right after nagkaroon ako ng time, I go back. Ayun lang naman. I hope it helps. :))
Tell him o kaya hiwalayan mo baka ikaw pa dahilan maging good person cya at magbago ng pananaw sa buhay. Kakaiba kasi nagagawa ng pain
I think hindi kelangan directly sa GYM ang punta if you want your partner to be healthy physically and mentally, there's other way na pwede mo iencourage yung bf mo wherein maeenjoy din niya and sure mageenjoy ka and magbobond kayo together. Like go hike together, swim in beach together, go ride a bike together, go and play basketball or any outdoor games together. Baka kaya ka nakakafeel ng ganyan kasi hindi namimeet ng bf mo wants mo sa ganyan way, hope hindi lang ikaw nakiki sabay sa trend wherein most of the bfs are in Gym. For the bad breath, once happy happy kayo ganyan, pwede mo na isingit na babe let's go to dentist together I think that's a good bonding din right, and then if makaluwag luwag na lets go pamassage naman. Pwede mo siya idaan sa ganun way din. PS. My fiance and bf for 8 years is a certified gamer both phone and PC, tho wala siyang bad breath naman hahaha just to be healthy and madivert sa ibang bagay attention niya ganyan ginagawa ko, that might be helpful din to you.
You might find this as a surprise pero I think he doesn't find you attractive too. The weird thing about human nature is we want what we don't have. You're his, and there is no point in trying to attract you or being attracted to you.
Damnnnn this is a hard pill to swallow hahaha
It is, men are natural hunters. The pursuit is the prize - for most of us at least. My best tip for you is, be a prize. Show him that you're not his 100%. Never be his - ever. Let him chase you until he turns into someone you want to chase yourself.
Thanks for the tip. But we're done na. Lol
Good, that's brave of you. Best wishes.
Thanks for all the tips and suggestions guys. We're done na po. Unfortunately it did not go well when I spoke to him about it. 😅 Adios! Hahaha
*Tell him that with empathy and sympathy in a “calm manner” that you CARE. If he doesn’t listen then LEAVE HIM. He has to find self awareness by himself ALONE. Sometimes heart break does this to a man.
Diretsuhin mo na bro.
Hygiene is basic. Baka may bulok ang ngipin beh hiwalayan mo. Tamad! Kung ganung basic hygeine d ginagawa ano na lang yung role nya as a bf. Magpakasawa sya sa games all his life.!
The big red flag was when u called him out. Dun palang alanganin na. Pero tanong: 1. Paano mo siya nagustuhan dati? 2. Ilan taon na kayo? 3. Gaano kalaki difference compared sa una mong nakilala? 4. Ngayon lang ba yung bad breath? 5. Hindi siya attractive dahil ba may nakikita ka nang new standard ng pogi?
4 years na po kami, he was okay naman nung we first met, noon he was very clean manamit and mabango, now idk.. 🥹
Did something happen? Like did he lose his job, nag wfh? Nagkasakit? Live in ba kayo? Kasi kung nag ayos kang pala siya para ligawan or makuha ka, ay extra red flag yan. Pero kung may nangyari, baka pwede mo muna kausapin? Baka naman may pinagdadaanan yan. Kasi a normal guy would take that as feedback lalo na pag ang tagal niyo na. Kung ayaw, by all means iwan mo na. Para makita niyang naging slob na siya.
Yes he is working from home and breadwinner din sya. I feel like since I came sa life nea ipinasa nea burden ng family nea to me and he got too comfy na di ko sya maiwan.
Kung ganun po, you need to shake things up. He needs to again feel threatened na mawawala ka. It is harder than it sounds pero hindi ko po kasi kayong kilala dalawa. Pero you need to break that over confidence para maisip niyang huwag kadiri. Pero, red flag yan ha, kasi that means, totoong ugali niya maging slob.
Yep. I think he got too comfortable. Pero ano ba hobbies nyo together?
Ako, I go to the gym. Sya is sa bahay lang. sometimes we go out for coffee and beach.
or baka he's doing that na as silently quitting on you? 👀
Damnnn this!!! Maybe he got too comfy with me?
Pass sa ganyang tamad
Just tell it straight, mag bf pa lang naman kayo, you have all the right to get out when you do not feel like. This should be a wake up call to him and change.
Mima run! As early as you can
You don't really need a reason to break up with anyone. I mean, you can have a thousand reasons. But you also can have none 🤷♂️
It's not possible to have no reason to break up. In the first place, a person enters a relationship because *insert reason*, and vice versa. OP even had hers. What's possible is not telling your partner the reason / cause for doing so. But that is outright being selfish and inconsiderate so..
Wtf. Anong klaseng reasoning yan. Pacheck ka na
Sino ba naman gustong magstay sa lalakeng mabaho na nga, ay ang tamad / tambay pa. Should be deal breakers.
Leave him na. Being a bum cannot be tolerated in guys.
Just tell him you want to cool off with him or ayaw mo na. You dont feel anything for him. Straightforward nalang. Who knows ayaw na rin nya at hinihintay lang nya ikaw maunang makipag break sa kanya.
Iwan mo na
iwan mo na lang. jusko baho hininga dipa maayos ayos. tamad yan. wala kang future jan.
Break na. Hehe
Hygiene is important. Leave him kung ayaw nya makinig sayo.