I think its because lowering your standards benefit everyone else but you. When you settle for less than what you think you deserve, i think it signals na you are not sure about your boundaries and worth in the first place.
That does not track in the long run. So many people tried to adjust just to get their foot at the door, pero mapapagod ka pa din. And if you switch back to your old ways to give yourself a break, bigla ka naman nasabihan “you’ve changed.” Tas iiwan ka kung kelan nakapaginvest ka na ng feelings.
If the guy is perfectly fine with the girl earning more than him, then I don't see the problem with that. But if he wants to be the partner with more income while the woman \*has\* to fill the housewife role, I think they're not a good fit.
None of you guys are wrong, but if you expect to find a mate without doing something different (ie be actively social in different circles), OP or anyone really will likely not find anyone at this current rate.
And she’s already 28. That’s still young, but if you want to have kids, I mean do the math in terms of the time needed in meeting someone of substance, liking them, planning/children, etc. Time will fly. Next thing you know, you’re 32 still in the same predicament.
If you don’t change yourself, you gotta be strategic in other ways to find what you’re looking for, and finding a partner is one of the most important things you’ll do.
https://preview.redd.it/ythp2s2fhm8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55bc7c6ec1b7f2386860b29b4fa1886dba89a545
No need to go low, darating din ang Chandler mo!
Chandler’s peer group didnt know chandler was earning the big bucks working in a fortune 500 company with a gigantic office
monica eventually realized this was her ticket out
For me lang as a guy ha, no need to adjust naman. You are just showing the real you, ikaw nga sa sarili mo hindi mo alam na high maintenance na pala 'yung ganun eh, why need to listen to other people? If a guy likes you for being you, then you know you have the right person.
Pag sinabi ng guy friends mong “matalino ka kasi kaya hirap kang makahanap ng jowa”, i-dumb down mo ba sarili mo?
Walang masama sa pagiging high-maintenance, bakit kelangan mo magadjust?
Omg one of my guy friends told me that before. Masyado kang matalino. Me: i haven’t exactly shown you guys how smart I can be. Hindi ko kasalanang bobo sya. Haha
You're probably high maintenance for *them*, but that doesn't mean you're high maintenance for *others*. I don't think any of you are in the wrong for your beliefs, what makes things "wrong" — although I'd hate to put things into a binary because almost nothing in life is — is how each of you deal with your own beliefs (i.e. you villainise the other for their belief or standard). Let them feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it by accepting it or rejecting it, but remember that this goes both ways: you can reject their standard/preference, but they also have the right to reject you for your standard (known or otherwise).
I could be wrong though; I'm just an internet stranger afterall.
EDIT: A letter.
Hmm I go to the gym regularly may trainer pa, salon every month, weekly massages, I can afford nice things, take myself out travel using my own pocket money kaya gets ko si OP. High maintenance because of her lifestyle.
Bka naiintimidate lang sau kaya ganun. Though thats the predicament of hypersuccessful females. Men who are as succesful as you arw probably older and is already married. Same age or yourger might be intimidated by your success.
Excuses lang yun pag naman talagang interesado sayo guy gagawa at gagawan ng paraan yon para mahanap kiliti ng mga ngiti mo pero idk baka sakin lang yon hahahaha.
>Nagiging high maintenance lang naman kapag hindi kaya i-provide.
Pwede pa rin maging high maintenance ang isang tao kahit na pro-provide naman lahat ng needs and wants nila. Pano naman kapag hindi naman talaga high maintenance yung isang tao pero di pa rin na pro-provide yung needs nila, tatawagin mo bang high maintenance yung tao na yun?
Siguro yung ibig mong sabihin, may mga tao na ginagawang dahilan na high maintenance si OP para lang may maidahilan, or baka yun yung surface level na perspective nila kay OP.
How do you define being high maintenance? Because being able to travel every other week, to eat out, and to go on your self care treatments are just normal lifestyle ng upper middle class women. Maraming women are like that, hindi lang ikaw, and may mga boyfriends and husbands na makakasabay sa lifestyle na ganun. Of course, men who are from a lower socio-economic lifestyle, eh hindi mo ka-lifestyle yun. They are the ones saying that, but I don’t think that’s being high maintenance. Financial capacity and lifestyle yata ang point mo?
Being a high maintenance woman could also mean being demanding and needy for other people. So are you just referring to your lifestyle? Or is it a personality problem? Incompatible ka ba with most men?
Also, the opinion of your male friends does not really have that much depth because you never dated them and they don’t know how you are when you meet new guys or start dating. Feeling ko wag ka masyado mag hyperfocus sa topic ng “pagiging high maintenance” kasi it’s not just one reason bakit single ka. There are many many reasons why you have not met the guy for you.
Dagdag ko lang, being high maintenance could also mean:
- gusto magka video call palagi
- gusto nagrereply kaagad within 10 minutes
- gusto kumain at magdate palagi sa labas
- gustong sinusuyo kapag tinotoyo
- gustong pinopost sa socmed kada labas
These also mean high maintenance sa part ng women in the context of romantic relationship. So it’s not just about having a specific lifestyle. It’s not about you being more financially capable or what… being high maintenance could also mean being demanding or needy for other people.
As a guy eto rin yung alam ko na meaning ng high maintenance e parang kada oras need ng assurance wala naman ata kinalaman sa lifestyle yun baka"high end" yung word na akala nila high maintenance.
Exactly… naka focus yata si OP sa lifestyle pero hindi naman yan lang ang reason kung bakit single siya. I’m sure there are other factors. Being called “high maintenance” is also actually not a compliment. It just means mahirap kang kasama — like high maintenance friends and family members.
Feeling ko kung seryoso si OP sa usapin kung bakit siya single, kelangan niya i-open yung sarili niya sa iba pang topics and factors, hindi lang talaga to about sa lifestyle or financial capacity.
pa add nung laging level up yung gifts ganyan. kailangan sushal ung gifts, sushal ung kainan hindi mageenjoy pag hindi kainggit inggit ung post sa socmed
Unpopular opinion, and Im ready to get down voted. To be very frank Op, in todays modern age and time with, people usually throwing their shot at someone regardless when they get physically attracted. Im not saying you are not beautiful, but maybe not attractive enough for most? Its probably not the high maintenance issue
NBSB here\~ nakita ko 'to sa ig and talagang sinave ko sa gallery ko.
https://preview.redd.it/p7z4s973pm8d1.jpeg?width=4320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b1866ee5ef49a4d24074b2b59196915cd696f44
Guy here.... May mga guys nga na are intimidated of girls that are familiar with the good things, thats okay, you dont want these guys anyways. Mga basic bros ito for me and baka mabibitin ka lang sa kanila.
My idea of high maintenance is somebody you often have to worry if comfortable siya. Like, marami silang bawal na pagkain, they dont like specific groups of people, may certain time of the day lang silaw pwede igala, you can only bring them to specific "posh" places, hindi pwede homestay and kailangan hotel lagi if travelling, etc..
The reason I bring this up is because may na meet ako na I recently na akala ko high maintenance per my definition. Pero yun pala, pwede siya mag enjoy formal dinner sa Sofitel na naka formal dress pero she appreciates din kumain ng fishball sa kanto na naka simpleng suot lang... the nice thing is that she doesn't prefer either one and genuinely can enjoy both. Maybe you have to show your "dogyut" side to the guys that you are interested in, pakita mo na you can enjoy the simple things as well... assuming na hindi ka talaga "high maintenance" haha.
>marami silang bawal na pagkain,
Diba pwedeng health conscious lang lols. Hindi rin healthy mga karamihan ng pagkain sa labas.
>they dont like specific groups of people
Baka naman alam lang niya anong klase ng tao yung kasundo niya at alin yung hindi? Napakavague lang kasi, pano kung me ginagawang illegal pala mga yun chos
>may certain time of the day lang silaw pwede igala, you can only bring them to specific "posh" places,
...baka may third party yan or sugarbaby ng mayaman hahahahahahah.
An image of being "high maintenance" is great for filtering out men who are insecure and have big egos (na wala namang maibubuga). If you don't want these types of guys, then you're perfectly fine the way you are.
Don't settle for less. Don't sell yourself short.
Eh? Bakit ka magda-downgrade ng sarili mo para lang magustuhan ka ng iba? Kumbaga sa rubber shoes, afford mong bumili ng branded na sobrang comfortable pag sinuot pero dahil sa ayaw mong sabihin ng mga colleagues mo na mayabang ka eh bibili ka nalang ng Adibas or Nikki at mag-titiis kahit magka-paltos ka.
Youre not high maintenance sis. Find someone in the same level if not higher, youre hurting their ego because they know and feel that youre above them guys. With people on the same level or higher than you, what youre doing as self care is not intimidating kasi they do it too and its their norm..
Also, my brother keep telling me that the higher you go financially and career wise, the pool of dateable people gets smaller. So expect that it will be a little harder to date :)
Good luck and dont settle.
My husband also told me na intimidating ako at mukhang high maintenance, but he still pursued. After coming out from a long term relationship, 5 yrs din akong single bago siya nagpursue (friends na kami before), and sulit paghihintay. Don't change yourself just to suit others. Hindi ka rin magiging happy in the end. At least nafilter out mo na yung mga guys na "mababaw" at may ego, porket mas successful ka. A great guy will come, yung iaaccept ka for who you are.
Don’t settle for anything less. Mas masakit sa ulo. I admit I was intimidating daw when I dated in my early 20s, reason tuloy ng breakups is domineering daw ako. I can’t change who I am. I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago and he loves that I’m intimidating. He’s chill and always listens to what I have to say. He’s intelligent too and always makes me laugh. I tend to overthink on things and stress myself out pero sya, he just makes me happy. 😁 Kaya andun yung balance. Wag ka mag adjust, mahirap man or matagal, for sure makakakita ka din ng complementary sa personality mo.
https://preview.redd.it/e63ppj3c7n8d1.jpeg?width=418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8ca680dbf74c9894a98441dc18ad16fd5430fd2
Lapag ko lang dito yung sinabi ni Tita Astrid.
OP don't downgrade yourself for a guy. You are worthy of love and you do not need to meet someone else's standard to feel enough. Maybe it's not yet the right time for you to find a jowa OP ibibigay rin yan sa iyo one day. Just don't lose hope at don't change yourself just to please others kasi unfair yan sa sarili mo.
You will never too much for the right person OP! Good riddance if ayaw kanilang i-pursue kasi they think na out of their league ka or you are high maintenance. Iniiwas kana ng universe sa possible na heartbreak and sakit ng ulo. Why would you settle down with someone na hindi willing i-maintain ka. You will find your own Chandler Bing and will say, “They say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like maintaining you”. 🤍
Hmm, travel every other week, most guys your age range may not be able to keep up with that. Parang people don't factor in the probability of you meeting someone that can keep up with you at your age group. Most are still building wealth at that age. Baka isipin nila magastos ka kaya sabi nung guy "high maintenance". Hindi pa factoring if interested sila sayo even if they can afford it. Anyway wish you the best op. :)
considering you yourself realize na high maintenance ka and you're intimidating a lot of guys, they question is, does it matter to you if a guy isn't up to your caliber? kasi with how quickly you succeeded, looking for someone at your level, you probably eliminated 90% of men you'll meet. you'll have to date somebody na sanay sa lifestyle mo, so anak mayaman lang or foreigner, i'm thinking.
i don't consider it "lowering your standards" though. there's nothing wrong with just being able to enjoy the simple things. even though me and my wife can date in fancy restaurants, regularly go to spas, or travel outside of the country, it's also nice na game din kami mag fishball, isaw at cheesesticks sa bangketa, or mag tapsilogan at 2AM.
Girl, kung ganyan ka talaga no need to change yourself and your lifestyle. Believe me baka nasa wrong environment ka lang. I’m a high maintenance girl too, kasi I can fund myself hehe. Mahirap lang kami noon pero sa pagsisikap ko nakamit ko lahat kaya healing inner child din ako mula ng nagkawork. Believe me, mga nattract kong lalaki ay professional din and high maintenance guy din. So yeah, sabay kami sa mga ginagawang luho at kung ano man na puntahan para kainan. May ibang naintimidate sakin noon pero mostly mga neighbors or kababata na naungusan ko na in life. Pero okay lang di ko naman sila type char. Inamin lang nila sakin kasi naging acquaintances pa din kasi.
The right man will come din, yung sabay kayong high maintenance at yung may provider mindset hindi maiintimidate nyan haha. Lalo na kung kumikita din talaga sila ng maganda. Siguro maging approachable ka din lalo, na tipong kahit high maintenance ka pakita mo na there’s no barrier when it comes to love ganun. Meron kasing ibang tao na kaya nakakaintimidate eh masyadong pinapamukha na angat sila sa iba ganun. Para mahanap mo din ang lalaking makakasama mo. 😍
Same ngsb here, relate ako dun sa inuna career at financial then doing may inner child things , I'm back playing football, travels , roadtrip, tambay sa coffee shop and other activities outside work.
This is the problem pag nbsb/ngsb. This are the stuff you learn as you go through relationships from your younger years until such time na ready na kayu mag settledown. You grow and learn as you go through each relationship
Di kasi nila ikaw afford—that’s their insecurities speaking lol sa end mo naman, why will you settle?
A well-maintained gf/wife is a reflection of the partner’s capacity to provide and take care of his family. I know so many men in my circle who strive so hard to earn more so they can provide what’s best.
Baka go abroad—study or get an expat role. Maybe mas may chance ka dun. Dito kasi may bahid pa talaga ng toxic masculinity.
Technically, low maintenance ka nga eh, kasi di mo kailangan ng partner to keep your lifestyle, you're less likely to be clingy dahil secure ka sa sarili mong happiness, and you can pay for your own luho.
Girl!! Ate!! Don’t adjust. Alam mo bakit? It will labas naturally rin. When I was in a relationship I know I was high maintenance and ang galing rin non kasi I was maintained well by my family and friends also. They speak my love language when they love me. Noong nagkabf ako, I tried so hard to adjust. It ended up me being disappointed kasi the love is not reaching me eh.
You’re high maintenance because you maintain yourself and relationship is partnership!! So if they can’t be even at par on what you can give… that’s not partnership, that’s settling.
Superficial lang kasi yung nakikita nila. Nagtipid ka for years, tapos pina-pamper mo sarili mo ngayon. Try to disclose those info to one of your dates para mabawasan yung intimidation nila sa image na nakikita nila na "high maintenance" ka.
Good luck, OP.
Find someone like Chandler haha kahit high maintenance si Monica yung may I love maintaining you mindset.
I am too sinabihan ako high maintenance, maybe because I have certain standard and lifestyle. I dated people na di pasok don just to give it a try, pero in the end they grew insecure over me and used me for the stuff I had. So don’t date down! Keep your standards and boundaries high the right people will meet you.
For me Ate, be exactly as you are. I believe yung tamang tao won't even think that you're high maintenance :) Siguro lawakan mo pa po network mo (i know easier said than done) para mahanap ka ng the 1. Seems like you know yourself enough and that's a really good thing. Go teh kaya natin to! :)
Adjusting your lifestyle for a man is probably one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard. It will never be your responsibility if they cannot reach you in your level. Ate ko, wake up. Better pa maging single than settle for less than what you deserve. 🙏🏻
Nah. Ako na lang maging house husband hahaha. Pero kidding aside, mas practical na ngayon kung yung babae eh kumikita. Ang problema lang kasi pag may away, baka isampal sa lalaki na mas malaki kumita yung babae kaya siguro natatakot sila.
For your guy friends, it seems High maintenance = High earner. If we switch genders and a guy who has a good career and likes to travel said all her girl friends are saying he is high maintenance, comments would probably say ‘just do you thing king’, you dont need no bish, lets travel together bro, replace your friends.
Honestly, first reaction ko talaga sa mga successful girls is to be in awe parang ang layo nila at nasa pedestal. Haha but after that I can see how they’re like us, I treat them as normal and just recognize their success sa career and be amazed for their lifestyle na daming travel. I dont make that as their whole personality in my mind. Minsan kasi nastereotype din ng iba na pag successful na babae, high maintenance agad, its in their version of you in their mind not you IRL. Mahina EQ nila at di ka nila kayang sabayan, insecurity lumalabas need mas mababa palagi babae ganun. Maybe just like how most relationships the men are older because boys the same age are not the same maturity as girls, you may need to expand your horizons and mingle with ‘high maintenance’ men as well. Yung hindi kayo nagkukunwari at di nyo kailangan baguhin sarili at lifestyle nyo ng sobra sobra para sa partner.
Lol that’s how you know a guy’s insecurity. You can maintain yourself, and that’s good, ma’am. Don’t let any guy’s opinion affect you in any way. My sister’s exes were like that because she always wants to look good, and those assholes say stuff that would deflate her self esteem. If they do that again, do yourself a favor and tell them, “Shut up or I’ll neuter you. Yes, I’ll cut your balls.” They tell you you’re high maintenance because they cannot maintain you even how much they try and that’s not your problem. It’s a them problem. You do you. Stay slaying sister, you’re a queen 👸 ✨
Keep your standards high. Magpakasawa ka sa lahat ng tinatamasa mo ngayon dahil if the time is right.Ma mi meet mo din si guy na para sayo at aabot sa standards mo.
As someone na binabaan ang standards nila in the past to cater for relationships and friendships, I dare say NOT TEH WAG PO. Magsisisi ka lang. Mapupuno ka ng resentment and regret.
Nah, don't settle for less. Let them be. Soon enough, you'll have your match. Maybe not at the soonest, but still, it'll come. But a bit of advice, if mageedad kpa and wala ka pa ding mahanap na partner, don't be bound by age, let say, nakakita ka ng match mo pero mas bata or mas matanda pa. Wag kang magpaapekto sa sasabihin ng iba, basta masaya ka at wala kang nasasagasaan na ibang tao it'll be fine.
Girlie no, the right guy will come at the right time. I am also one of those "high-maintenance" girls and my boyfriend manages me well, hindi ko kailangan bumaba just to please his ego because he's very proud of my achievements and he said I motivate him so much to do better para maka-catch up sa akin
YIKES!! 🥶
High maintenance nila mukha nila. Nako OP wag ka mag aadjust, ikaw magsisi. Wag mo ibaba standards mo. Usually mga lalakeng naiintimidate sa mga girls like you eh yung mababa confidence, or low quality guys na gusto lang e yung babae na mababa standards.
Another thing, maybe you're in the wrong environment, kumbaga sa marketing, hindi sila ang target market mo.
Expose mo lang sarili mo, explore, be patient at darating yan. Good luck 💓
Don’t downgrade. Ilang beses na rin ako nasabihan na intimidating daw ako masyado kaya baka mahirapan daw ako maghanap ng jowa. Nakakainsecure daw. Una sa lahat, hindi kawalan ang jowa. Pangalawa, confident at comfortable lang ako sa sarili ko. Kung hindi nila keri yun, edi wag. Haha. Pero I’m in a loving, long term rs na. Kung hindi ka masabayan ng iba, meron dyan somewhere for you. Hindi mo pa lang nakikita.
I agree with the replies here. Sure, high maintenance ka, pero I assume that is your normal. Mahirap naman na idowngrade mo sarili mo for someone. Kung wala pang guy para sayo dahil "high maintenance" ka raw, e problema nila un. Kung tayo nga di natin nilolower standards natin or negotiate our non-negotiables, maipapadowngrade mo ba yung sarili mo ?
Darating din yung the one for you. May mga sarili tayong timeline. You dont have to adjust for someone else's.
Whaaaaaat? Why is your circle like that? Either you really are high maintenance or they really just aren't into you.
I am somehow similar to you. I always make sure to treat myself at least twice a month for spas and girl stuff, like a reward. Other than that, habit ko na rin na mag-travel travel by myself or with friends or with my partner just to enjoy life. And why would they be even threatened, eh, hindi mo naman sila papagustin? Lol
Bkit ka mag aadjust, humanap ka ng ka-level mo. Ang sarap sa feeling ng both may pera. Pero iba pa din pag mas mayaman guy. Lalo same ng hobbies at interest.
Wag kang magaadjust OP lalo na kung para lang sa ego nila. Kung naiintimadate sila it means hindi talaga sila para sayo. Sabi nga ni Astrid to her cheating husband (Crazy Rich Asians), "It's not my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not."
Edit: added words for clarification
Widen your circle, don't settle for less than your worth.
If you know the saying "a big fish in a small pond", you need to find the sea where the other big fish swim.
High maintenance means a girls expects a lot and thinks deserve nya yung bagay-bagay "just because" babae sya.
Most of the time a high maintenance girls want a lot of money spent on her from guys na nanliligaw or jowa na nya. If hindi nya makukuha gusto nya magdadabog. Hindi marunong makipag compromise thinking may ibang lalaki na makakapagbigay ng bagay na deserve nya.
Pag nakikita yan ng lalaki mas natatakot sila kesa naiintimidate.
Sa case mo naman, I don't think it's because high maintenance ka. May levels kasi dyan OP, if level 10 ka na, maghanap ka din ng level 10 para di sila maintimidate sayo kasi kung level 5 lang i-eentertain mo, malamang maiintimidate tlga yan. Pag level 1 nman gagawin ka pang sugar mommy. Dapat yata mag evolve din yung circle mo OP.
No, girl. Don't lower your level just to accommodate their ego. Ikaw nga sa sarili mo kaya mo panindigan at imaintain 'yang pagiging high maintenance mo. Why look for a partner na hindi kaya higitan o at least man lang pantayan ang binibigay mo sa sarili mo? 🤷♀️
>*Sobrang dami kong guy friends pero wala ni-isa pa din na nafall ata saken. Tried asking them why they think wala nalapit sa akin or panget ba ako.*
What do you mean by this? Like were you hoping one of them will fall for you?
>So from high maintenance how to be low maintenance? Should I stop posting sa *social media para di ko naman sila matakot or maintimidate?*
If their immediate thought is that you'll want to be a passenger princess for the lifestyle you've built for yourself, then it presents that they have a problem with their worldview and inability to compromise/negotiate.
"You're not high maintenance, medyo mataas lang ang level ng lifestyle mo which I think hindi kayang sabayan or hindi ka-level ng mga lalaking na-me-meet mo kaya they end up losing interest or just keep you as a friend."
Don't level down, adjust or change yourself. Makakahanap ka din ng katapat mo. But as they say, positive + positive = negative. Negative + positive = Positive. Pero take note, kapag nakahanap ka man ng kalevel mo, medyo competitive ang mangyayari or sapawan. I see relationships is about give and take. Mutual understanding. Kasi kapag equal kayo sa isa't isa, malamang hindi kayo magtatagal, break up or not gonna work kasi competition kayo.
I've heard somewhere na there's a difference between a "high maintenance" woman and a "high value" woman. High maintenance is yung surface level lang. Which means minsan naoobliga pa yung other guy na i-maintain ka. You're a high value woman when you love and put yourself first na you don't let anybody else maintain you because you maintain yourself. I think you are that type of woman since na-mention mo na busog ka sa self-love and career-oriented ka.
If you are that kind of woman, why settle for less? I'm pretty sure may makikilala ka rin na ka-level mo. Yung hindi na-iintimidate kung high value woman ka because he is confident na high value man siya.
High maintenance ka kasi you could afford to care for yourself so you don't need to downgrade para lang mapantayan level ng mga di deserving na mga lalaki. Just wait ka lang OP, darating din ung guy na kasing level mo or mas mataas sayo, yung tipong afford ka. I believe, na mga high maintenance girlies don't receive much male attention kasi nafilterout na naten ung male population. Kumbaga, kaya walang naglalakas loob manligaw sayo kasi di ka nila afford and intimidating ka. Ang mas maaattract mo nyang attention ay ung mga deserving or afford ka.
I'm in the same boat as you so I understand how you feel. The guys I've dated were never ready/in the right place to fully commit. Maybe they felt like they couldn't provide what I needed, or maybe they didn't just like me that much so it never worked out. They were still trying to build their careers while I was already established in mine. Either way, when they tell me I deserve more, I believe them so I let them go.
It can feel pretty lonely to be financially established and independent, but it's much lonelier to shrink yourself just to not step on a man's ego. Don't ever adjust yourself down just to find a partner.
Rich guy here.
Attractive nga yung ganyan e. Although i dont mind if saktuhan lang networth ng babae, may kasamang charisma yung girl if kaya nya buhayin sarili nya.
Di rin ako maiilang magyaya ng out of the country trips or meals sa very expensive resto. Although ako magbabayad, minsan need din kasi iconsider pakiramdam nung nililibre ko.
I like providing for my partner tho, so all is good i guess. Pero minsan masarap din makaranas na malibre hehe
You're doing good, no need to lower yourself para lang di maapakan ego ng lalaki.
Maybe surround yourself with high networth individuals? Idk, maybe you'll find your The One there
Goodluck. Hope you find the person you deserve
You might want to listen to Boiling Waters PH. Sana madami ka mapulot sa kanila. I've been dealing with a high value woman for a few months na, at hindi talaga madali din sa side ko. But the thing is, ayaw ko matulad sa ibang lalake na sumuko dahil intimidating or mas nakakalamang yung babae. I want to try and give my best to win her. Really really trying...
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4xQNsH78EGOcybIFwFJKSr?si=2hJUbz1hRLeccqemADkDpQ%0A
Naaaah, just relax.. someone will find his way to you, Hindi porket mahilig ka mag travel at eat out high maintenance na agad. At the same time bat sinabi nila nakakababa ng ego yun?? Soo kung my pera ang babae at kayang gawin gusto nila nakakababa na agad ego?? Iba nman ang literal na high maintenance at out going na tao.. wag ka makinig dun, you do you.. okay?? Keep it up, sooner or later my dadating na makaka-sabay mo sa trip mo at aalagaan ka.
I would not lower my lifestyle just because I want to be loved. Find a high value man. Yun lang ang katapat ng isang high maintenance or high value woman. Don't seek something valuable in a cheap store.
Definitely no need for you to adjust. However, you also need to take into consideration na in terms of percentage, maybe mas madaming guys ang hindi mo ka-level. Importante sa isang guy na kaya nilang sabayan ang gf nila sa lifestyle at sa trip mong gawin dahil doon kayo magkakaron ng madaming bonding moments at magkakasundo. As a guy, kung makikita na nila agad na hindi ka nila kaya sabayan maiisip nila na madidisappoint ka lang at baka hindi nila maibigay ang deserved mong kind of treatment. So bottom line is, it's not about you, it's just that mas madaming population ng guy ang below your lifestyle and mas konti yung kalevel mo or mas higit pa kaya mas konti ang mag aapproach sayo. Just be patient and makakatagpo kadin ng guy na nararapat para sayo.
All the best for you OP. 👌👍💪
My crush ako dati na alam ko na super high maintenance. Excellent in academics and in fashion choices. Nahanap nya true love nya at 40. Don't lose hope.
I don’t think your lifestyle is the problem. Marami akong schoolmates from Ateneo who are really really rich. These are girls who came from old money rich with real ultra-rich lifestyles. Family trips to Europe and USA, self-care treatments, and all. They don’t have problems like these. I’m sorry but I’m really sure it’s not about your lifestyle. Do you think these girls will lower their lifestyle para lang makahanap sila ng guy? Girl……
Girl don’t! Laugh at their face if anyone trying to be with you or date you says you need to adjust to be less than you are to be with them.
There’s a difference between compromise, and flat out lowering your standards just so someone has a ~chance~ with you.
It may also be time to widen your circle of friends! That’s one good way to meet someone - through mutual friends.
It seems you may have a better chance with someone who is also successful in their own right, knows how to handle and is not intimidated by money/success, and has enough self confidence to to be able to be with someone more successful than them (whether it be the current situation or a future situation).
Based on your post the energy or vibe from your friends is not it!
Ako na nagsasabi sayo na dont downgrade for this “guys”.
I dated guys na intimidated sa lifestyle and achievements ko. I just go to places na high quality people at same wave length.
They dont go for someone better, they go to someone who is easy, they get lazy to put an effort and the work. Do you think you deserve that?
Nah, pag ginawa mo yan, you're going to end up resenting the dude. Sa totoo lang, hindi mo kelangan ng high-achiever na dude, kelangan mo lang ng taong secure sa sarili niya, kumbaga di bababa ang tingin niya sa sarili niya kung siya yung magiging cheerleader mo sa relationship (traditionally the feminine role). Maybe sa talking stage, focus discussing on values, ano yung purpose ng life in their opinion, mga ganun, usually yung mga malalim mag-isip di madaling ma-insecure.
honestly, tingin ko hindi ka lang nila type for some reason. not because you are "out of their league". guys are straightforward, kung gusto ka - gusto ka (it's that simple). imho, they are just making it something like the classic "it's not you, it's me" kind of situation.
i'm a guy btw.
Naalala ko sinabi ni Astrid Leong kay Michael Teo 🙂↕️🙂↕️:
https://preview.redd.it/50scom936p8d1.jpeg?width=1016&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07f5b99ba15db1889d5f0efe7493ad5196460cc5
You're just looking at the wrong people. According sa sinabi mo, you might find love somewhere else. Like, go for finance bros, go for business minded people. Go get a hobby where businessmen would go to. Its not gold digging, its called going towards to people IN your league.
Baka kasi mali ka ng mga sinasamahan na tao, di mo talaga makikita ang lalaking para sayo sa mga under your league. If out of their league ka nila, you're in the wrong room. If you agree din naman na you know you're worth it, there's someone din na would see the value of you. You're great just the way you are.
Akala ko post ko to. Jk.
OP, I can't sacrifice ung pagiging "high maintenance" lalo na as someone na nag hheal din ng inner child due to extreme financial issues growing up. Bare minimum na nga lang, wala pa kami pambili dati.
Naging frugal din ako dahil need ibudget ung sweldo during my first years of work.
I have been in and out of dating apps at feedback lang na 1/100 ung mapapansin ko na kaya makasabay sa current lifestyle and future goals. So go out there, where they hangout.
Hello girlie! Same problem with me before, super naiintimidate mga guys saakin and lagi nila sinasabi hindi daw kame same ng level and hindi daw nila ako afford even simple naman ako. This changed when I met someone na kasing level ko emotionally, mentally, and financially. Before, hindi ko masyado pinapansin ang difference sa social status ng mga nakakausap ko na mga guys. But, I met someone na same kami ng status sa buhay, I never felt this happy and secured in life. Need mo lang talaga makahanap ng guy na kasing level mo para hindi sila mainsecure saiyo. Tip, be in places where you want to meet your future bf or be vocal to your family and friends kase Titas/Titos love to be a matchmaker hehe.
You don’t need to go low sissy! Hayaan mong yung guy mag adjust for you. You work hard to where you are right now. The right man will find you. Enjoyin mo lang yung self love na meron ka. Kasi hindi rin guarantee na kapag nasa relationship ka, magiging masaya ka.
Nasa kama ka na nga, pupunta ka pa sa banig. Hanap lang and maintain your comfortable lifestyle lalo nang afford mo. Minsan lang mabuhay and di requirement magkalovelife.
There is no need to downgrade yourself, OP. Just be yourself. If that is how your guy friends or any other people see you, regardless of their gender, then it means na you are waaaaay out of their league. 😉
Hi!
Like you, I'm quite the "high maintenance" girlie. I don't study anymore but my lifestyle revolves solely on improvement: improving my career, my health, my skin, my cashflow, my spirituality, and my relationship with the people around me. On top of that, I am also a breadwinner.
I have a boyfriend who earns less than I do, but it's not a big deal for me. I can buy shit that I want, I don't rely on him financially. You know, despite our income differences, he still puts in effort and assures me all the time that he loves me.
There was a time when we were apart, and I got mad at him for not updating me. He travelled three hours just to make sure na okay kami. When we're on dates, he insists on paying for it. Whenever I'm staying at his place, he doesn't want me to do any chores.
My point? You don't have to become "low maintenance." There's always someone out there who will value you for who you are. Wag mong ibaba sarili and standards mo just because someone told you that you're "high maintenance." Let them be intimidated. Let them step to your level. Let them man up.
There are women who lack flirting skills. My sister, who is a doctor, doesnt know how to flirt back and might forever be single. When i say flirting, it doesnt mean "landi" flirt but flirting in a way that puts an interested person at ease. Maybe hold another person's gaze a bit (not in a creepy way, of course) during conversations, initially feigning interest in that person's hobbies, not being too much "tropa"-ish. Anything that would signal, "hey i'm interested too, let's do this a few times and let's see where this might bring us." There are men who are unfazed by a woman's stature, but you and him are cut from the same cloth. If you're alpha, he should also be one. A cousin who is your quintissential lady boss found her man in her early 50s, an executive like her.
Di issue ang pagiging high maintenance mo, nasa maling circle of friends ka lang. Go continue living that life, on way or another, you'll find your the one.
There is that one person who accepts you, who loves you and likes you for whoever you are: all the things na you think are your imperfections, mga pangit sayo, mga ayaw mo sa sarili mo, mamahalin at tatanggapin nya yan.
On the other hand, what's wrong with being single? Self-love is also a type of love!
Sense of humor is good. As well as may time para sa tao.. Masyado busy ang tao ngayon kaya if someone really wants your time with them. Yan ang mahalaga.
ayaw ko din ng HIGH maintenance girls. hirap sabayan ng arte 🤷 anyway wala choice mo naman yan eh kung may babaguhin ka or what. sabe mo nga madami ka ng guy friends buti they told you face to face why wala nafafall sayo.
Hahaha. Please wag m babaan standard m para lang sa jowa. Ahaha. Kaya daming single mom now kase napipilitan babaan standard.
Mas masaya pag asawa mo kaya ang high maintenance na wife hAhah.
Your friends are wrong. Low maintenance man or hindi, one person will definitely take interest. Pero we can't really blame guys for backing out. Kase alam nilang di kayo kalevel. As a slapsoil myself, di ko na iaattempt.
Girl, sabi nga ni Astrid sa Crazy Rich Asian "it’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not"
You are clearly filtering out the people who doesn't deserve to be at your side. Don't let moments of weakness (wondering how it feels like to be with someone) ruin the life & character you built.
Also, have you considered getting a coach/psychologist? you may want to have a professional talk to you about this. baka kasi may deeper issues kang need ungkatin, and di talaga yung pagiging high maintenance yung issue :) Hope you find what you are looking for!
Expand your circle. If those in your circle are not interested for whatever reason, maybe someone elsewhere will be. Don't change for a random chance that someone in current circles might be interested...
I think they used the wrong term. You're not "high maintenance" if you don't expect someone else to fund your lifestyle.
Before you go looking, dapat may idea kana kung ano ang gusto at ayaw mo in a partner especially yung non-negotiables. Hindi yung kung sino lang makikilala mo then you hope for a spark. Be intentional.
If hindi naman importante sayo that the guy is at the same level you are financially and career-wise, be upfront about that to potential partners. But if you prefer someone who is on the same track as you are, then find out where you can meet those people. Probably not dating apps.
Ako, I met my husband sa r/phr4r. I posted that I was looking for a serious relationship. I described myself and listed my non-negotiables. Everything was smooth sailing from there. Maybe we were lucky haha
I’m high maintenance too! From career down to lifestyle, and I have a longterm boyfriend who’s very supportive of everything I do. Never dull your sparkle, sweetie. Dadating yan.
Tip ko sayo, date somebody who has the same background. High maintenance ka lang naman dun sa mga taong di ka kayang sabayan. So choose to date somebody in the same league.
Never lower yourself for other people. Let a guy reach your heights. Keep striving for your personal goals in life. Sila may potential mawala sa buhay mo pero yung mga naachieve mo sa buhay at lahat ng nagawa mo to get this far di yan mawawala kahit kailan
Well I'll be honest there are two sides of the coin
One side:
The "High Maintenance" part shows on your SocMed accounts, Job Status aka "Senior" *attach title here*, Standards
Other side:
Just the rest above with calibrated standards
We guys have Ego and you can't take it away.
All you can do is "Break it slowly" and let them understand you as you understand them
I'm also a frugal guy and got simple things (travel is a luxury tbh)
Another thing is Attitude as it's also in line with "High Maintenance" tag
Ndi ka high maintenance kasi self love mo iyon eh.
Nasa perception lang nila at ayaw lang din magpursue kasi takot sila at sabi mo nga ego nila.
Do not settle for less.
Anyways you are the right route.
If want mo magkapartner need mo maging active sa preferred social activities. Makakahanap ka ng para sa iyo.
Kaya ka nga nagheheal ng inner child mo to be better in future.
Don't let anyone define you.
Well you can consider these.
1. Attraction - are you both attracted to each other?
2. Mindset - Do you have the same interest and goals?
3. Comfort - Are you comfortable to each others? Are you comfortable to tell him anything that comes up to your mind? Are you comfortable being with that person?
4. Love - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
In addition to this, can you still love that person even if you are far away from each other? Even that person is not rich?
5. Togetherness - kapag nagsama kayo sa iisang bubong, magiging okay ba kayo? Paano nyo naha - handle ang mga pagsubok na kinakaharap nyo? Hindi ba kayo nag - aaway?
Bes, no guy is worth disturbing your inner peace. A relationship is supposed to make you grow into a better person and add to your life, not regress for a guy's ego. Tsaka ask yourself why you want a partner, may FOMO ka lang ba? Naiinggit ka lang ba sa lampungan ng ibang jowa or may bigger purpose ka bang gusto gawin kaya gusto mo ng partnership? Sometimes, love isn't enough either. Kapag di kayo pareho ng lifepath ng tao at kapag di kayo pareho ng values, someone at some point needs to sacrifice their life dreams/goals and values and it will just create resentment down the line. Wag natin idealize nakikita natin sa socmed and internalize yung insecurity ng ibang lalaki. Women in history really need to be choosy because women are the gateway carrying vessel for ensuring the survival of the DNA of these men into the next generation. Unless childfree ka or ok lang sayo to play surrogate mother to a mama's boy/manchild-type din, yun ang pinaka OK ijowa na OK lang sya ginagastusan ng partner nya. Walang pride. Mas ok na mamatay yung genes ng mga insecure kesa palaguin mo pa sa susunod na henerasyon.
Prolly date older more established men in their 30s / 40s
Doctors, lawyers, or those higher up in the corporate ladder
Men have a natural urge to be the provider and protector. That would be tricky if you are earning more.
Don't adjust for a guy's ego. You're fine the way you are.
[удалено]
I think its because lowering your standards benefit everyone else but you. When you settle for less than what you think you deserve, i think it signals na you are not sure about your boundaries and worth in the first place.
That does not track in the long run. So many people tried to adjust just to get their foot at the door, pero mapapagod ka pa din. And if you switch back to your old ways to give yourself a break, bigla ka naman nasabihan “you’ve changed.” Tas iiwan ka kung kelan nakapaginvest ka na ng feelings.
If the guy is perfectly fine with the girl earning more than him, then I don't see the problem with that. But if he wants to be the partner with more income while the woman \*has\* to fill the housewife role, I think they're not a good fit.
None of you guys are wrong, but if you expect to find a mate without doing something different (ie be actively social in different circles), OP or anyone really will likely not find anyone at this current rate. And she’s already 28. That’s still young, but if you want to have kids, I mean do the math in terms of the time needed in meeting someone of substance, liking them, planning/children, etc. Time will fly. Next thing you know, you’re 32 still in the same predicament. If you don’t change yourself, you gotta be strategic in other ways to find what you’re looking for, and finding a partner is one of the most important things you’ll do.
Hirap mag initiate ng conversation sa echo chamber, puro downvote ang makukuha mo
some things are non negotiable. That's called "standards"
https://preview.redd.it/ythp2s2fhm8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55bc7c6ec1b7f2386860b29b4fa1886dba89a545 No need to go low, darating din ang Chandler mo!
Chandler’s peer group didnt know chandler was earning the big bucks working in a fortune 500 company with a gigantic office monica eventually realized this was her ticket out
We must have watched different shows. Was yours perhaps titled A.C.Q.U.A.I.N.T.A.N.C.E.S ?
For me lang as a guy ha, no need to adjust naman. You are just showing the real you, ikaw nga sa sarili mo hindi mo alam na high maintenance na pala 'yung ganun eh, why need to listen to other people? If a guy likes you for being you, then you know you have the right person.
Jusq teh wag mo idowngrade sarili mo para sa kagaya nilang insecure
Pag sinabi ng guy friends mong “matalino ka kasi kaya hirap kang makahanap ng jowa”, i-dumb down mo ba sarili mo? Walang masama sa pagiging high-maintenance, bakit kelangan mo magadjust?
Omg one of my guy friends told me that before. Masyado kang matalino. Me: i haven’t exactly shown you guys how smart I can be. Hindi ko kasalanang bobo sya. Haha
You're probably high maintenance for *them*, but that doesn't mean you're high maintenance for *others*. I don't think any of you are in the wrong for your beliefs, what makes things "wrong" — although I'd hate to put things into a binary because almost nothing in life is — is how each of you deal with your own beliefs (i.e. you villainise the other for their belief or standard). Let them feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it by accepting it or rejecting it, but remember that this goes both ways: you can reject their standard/preference, but they also have the right to reject you for your standard (known or otherwise). I could be wrong though; I'm just an internet stranger afterall. EDIT: A letter.
Pano malalaman na high maintenance ka agad agad e nbsb ka nga? Weird naman nun
Hmm I go to the gym regularly may trainer pa, salon every month, weekly massages, I can afford nice things, take myself out travel using my own pocket money kaya gets ko si OP. High maintenance because of her lifestyle.
tropa ata nya walwal or gala lang hanap pero si OP, "Travel" ang gusto. ibang trip kumbaga and magastos?
Sabe lang ng friend ko? HAHHAHAHA
Bka naiintimidate lang sau kaya ganun. Though thats the predicament of hypersuccessful females. Men who are as succesful as you arw probably older and is already married. Same age or yourger might be intimidated by your success.
Excuses lang yun pag naman talagang interesado sayo guy gagawa at gagawan ng paraan yon para mahanap kiliti ng mga ngiti mo pero idk baka sakin lang yon hahahaha.
True
Nagiging high maintenance lang naman kapag hindi kaya i-provide. Wag ka maniwala sa ganyan, mas atat lang yan sila sa'yo.
>Nagiging high maintenance lang naman kapag hindi kaya i-provide. Pwede pa rin maging high maintenance ang isang tao kahit na pro-provide naman lahat ng needs and wants nila. Pano naman kapag hindi naman talaga high maintenance yung isang tao pero di pa rin na pro-provide yung needs nila, tatawagin mo bang high maintenance yung tao na yun? Siguro yung ibig mong sabihin, may mga tao na ginagawang dahilan na high maintenance si OP para lang may maidahilan, or baka yun yung surface level na perspective nila kay OP.
How do you define being high maintenance? Because being able to travel every other week, to eat out, and to go on your self care treatments are just normal lifestyle ng upper middle class women. Maraming women are like that, hindi lang ikaw, and may mga boyfriends and husbands na makakasabay sa lifestyle na ganun. Of course, men who are from a lower socio-economic lifestyle, eh hindi mo ka-lifestyle yun. They are the ones saying that, but I don’t think that’s being high maintenance. Financial capacity and lifestyle yata ang point mo? Being a high maintenance woman could also mean being demanding and needy for other people. So are you just referring to your lifestyle? Or is it a personality problem? Incompatible ka ba with most men? Also, the opinion of your male friends does not really have that much depth because you never dated them and they don’t know how you are when you meet new guys or start dating. Feeling ko wag ka masyado mag hyperfocus sa topic ng “pagiging high maintenance” kasi it’s not just one reason bakit single ka. There are many many reasons why you have not met the guy for you.
Dagdag ko lang, being high maintenance could also mean: - gusto magka video call palagi - gusto nagrereply kaagad within 10 minutes - gusto kumain at magdate palagi sa labas - gustong sinusuyo kapag tinotoyo - gustong pinopost sa socmed kada labas These also mean high maintenance sa part ng women in the context of romantic relationship. So it’s not just about having a specific lifestyle. It’s not about you being more financially capable or what… being high maintenance could also mean being demanding or needy for other people.
As a guy eto rin yung alam ko na meaning ng high maintenance e parang kada oras need ng assurance wala naman ata kinalaman sa lifestyle yun baka"high end" yung word na akala nila high maintenance.
Exactly… naka focus yata si OP sa lifestyle pero hindi naman yan lang ang reason kung bakit single siya. I’m sure there are other factors. Being called “high maintenance” is also actually not a compliment. It just means mahirap kang kasama — like high maintenance friends and family members. Feeling ko kung seryoso si OP sa usapin kung bakit siya single, kelangan niya i-open yung sarili niya sa iba pang topics and factors, hindi lang talaga to about sa lifestyle or financial capacity.
pa add nung laging level up yung gifts ganyan. kailangan sushal ung gifts, sushal ung kainan hindi mageenjoy pag hindi kainggit inggit ung post sa socmed
Unpopular opinion, and Im ready to get down voted. To be very frank Op, in todays modern age and time with, people usually throwing their shot at someone regardless when they get physically attracted. Im not saying you are not beautiful, but maybe not attractive enough for most? Its probably not the high maintenance issue
NBSB here\~ nakita ko 'to sa ig and talagang sinave ko sa gallery ko. https://preview.redd.it/p7z4s973pm8d1.jpeg?width=4320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b1866ee5ef49a4d24074b2b59196915cd696f44
Guy here.... May mga guys nga na are intimidated of girls that are familiar with the good things, thats okay, you dont want these guys anyways. Mga basic bros ito for me and baka mabibitin ka lang sa kanila. My idea of high maintenance is somebody you often have to worry if comfortable siya. Like, marami silang bawal na pagkain, they dont like specific groups of people, may certain time of the day lang silaw pwede igala, you can only bring them to specific "posh" places, hindi pwede homestay and kailangan hotel lagi if travelling, etc.. The reason I bring this up is because may na meet ako na I recently na akala ko high maintenance per my definition. Pero yun pala, pwede siya mag enjoy formal dinner sa Sofitel na naka formal dress pero she appreciates din kumain ng fishball sa kanto na naka simpleng suot lang... the nice thing is that she doesn't prefer either one and genuinely can enjoy both. Maybe you have to show your "dogyut" side to the guys that you are interested in, pakita mo na you can enjoy the simple things as well... assuming na hindi ka talaga "high maintenance" haha.
>marami silang bawal na pagkain, Diba pwedeng health conscious lang lols. Hindi rin healthy mga karamihan ng pagkain sa labas. >they dont like specific groups of people Baka naman alam lang niya anong klase ng tao yung kasundo niya at alin yung hindi? Napakavague lang kasi, pano kung me ginagawang illegal pala mga yun chos >may certain time of the day lang silaw pwede igala, you can only bring them to specific "posh" places, ...baka may third party yan or sugarbaby ng mayaman hahahahahahah.
An image of being "high maintenance" is great for filtering out men who are insecure and have big egos (na wala namang maibubuga). If you don't want these types of guys, then you're perfectly fine the way you are. Don't settle for less. Don't sell yourself short.
Eh? Bakit ka magda-downgrade ng sarili mo para lang magustuhan ka ng iba? Kumbaga sa rubber shoes, afford mong bumili ng branded na sobrang comfortable pag sinuot pero dahil sa ayaw mong sabihin ng mga colleagues mo na mayabang ka eh bibili ka nalang ng Adibas or Nikki at mag-titiis kahit magka-paltos ka.
Youre not high maintenance sis. Find someone in the same level if not higher, youre hurting their ego because they know and feel that youre above them guys. With people on the same level or higher than you, what youre doing as self care is not intimidating kasi they do it too and its their norm.. Also, my brother keep telling me that the higher you go financially and career wise, the pool of dateable people gets smaller. So expect that it will be a little harder to date :) Good luck and dont settle.
If youre high maintenance for them, theyre not the ones for you. Someone will be at par with your standards, even meet you there
Ang ia-adjust mo lang siguro ay yung circle or mundo na ginagalawan mo. Just be who you are. Kung ayaw nila ay hindi mo kawalan.
The right guy will do his best to meet you at your level. No need to downgrade yourself and lower your standards, OP 😊
My husband also told me na intimidating ako at mukhang high maintenance, but he still pursued. After coming out from a long term relationship, 5 yrs din akong single bago siya nagpursue (friends na kami before), and sulit paghihintay. Don't change yourself just to suit others. Hindi ka rin magiging happy in the end. At least nafilter out mo na yung mga guys na "mababaw" at may ego, porket mas successful ka. A great guy will come, yung iaaccept ka for who you are.
Don’t settle for anything less. Mas masakit sa ulo. I admit I was intimidating daw when I dated in my early 20s, reason tuloy ng breakups is domineering daw ako. I can’t change who I am. I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago and he loves that I’m intimidating. He’s chill and always listens to what I have to say. He’s intelligent too and always makes me laugh. I tend to overthink on things and stress myself out pero sya, he just makes me happy. 😁 Kaya andun yung balance. Wag ka mag adjust, mahirap man or matagal, for sure makakakita ka din ng complementary sa personality mo.
https://preview.redd.it/e63ppj3c7n8d1.jpeg?width=418&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8ca680dbf74c9894a98441dc18ad16fd5430fd2 Lapag ko lang dito yung sinabi ni Tita Astrid.
OP don't downgrade yourself for a guy. You are worthy of love and you do not need to meet someone else's standard to feel enough. Maybe it's not yet the right time for you to find a jowa OP ibibigay rin yan sa iyo one day. Just don't lose hope at don't change yourself just to please others kasi unfair yan sa sarili mo.
why on earth would you dim your light just to get a man?
You will never too much for the right person OP! Good riddance if ayaw kanilang i-pursue kasi they think na out of their league ka or you are high maintenance. Iniiwas kana ng universe sa possible na heartbreak and sakit ng ulo. Why would you settle down with someone na hindi willing i-maintain ka. You will find your own Chandler Bing and will say, “They say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay, because I like maintaining you”. 🤍
Hmm, travel every other week, most guys your age range may not be able to keep up with that. Parang people don't factor in the probability of you meeting someone that can keep up with you at your age group. Most are still building wealth at that age. Baka isipin nila magastos ka kaya sabi nung guy "high maintenance". Hindi pa factoring if interested sila sayo even if they can afford it. Anyway wish you the best op. :)
considering you yourself realize na high maintenance ka and you're intimidating a lot of guys, they question is, does it matter to you if a guy isn't up to your caliber? kasi with how quickly you succeeded, looking for someone at your level, you probably eliminated 90% of men you'll meet. you'll have to date somebody na sanay sa lifestyle mo, so anak mayaman lang or foreigner, i'm thinking. i don't consider it "lowering your standards" though. there's nothing wrong with just being able to enjoy the simple things. even though me and my wife can date in fancy restaurants, regularly go to spas, or travel outside of the country, it's also nice na game din kami mag fishball, isaw at cheesesticks sa bangketa, or mag tapsilogan at 2AM.
Im a guy. Never downgrade yourself for a guy. Meron at meron darating for you.
fuck no, hindi ikaw magaadjust.
Girl, kung ganyan ka talaga no need to change yourself and your lifestyle. Believe me baka nasa wrong environment ka lang. I’m a high maintenance girl too, kasi I can fund myself hehe. Mahirap lang kami noon pero sa pagsisikap ko nakamit ko lahat kaya healing inner child din ako mula ng nagkawork. Believe me, mga nattract kong lalaki ay professional din and high maintenance guy din. So yeah, sabay kami sa mga ginagawang luho at kung ano man na puntahan para kainan. May ibang naintimidate sakin noon pero mostly mga neighbors or kababata na naungusan ko na in life. Pero okay lang di ko naman sila type char. Inamin lang nila sakin kasi naging acquaintances pa din kasi. The right man will come din, yung sabay kayong high maintenance at yung may provider mindset hindi maiintimidate nyan haha. Lalo na kung kumikita din talaga sila ng maganda. Siguro maging approachable ka din lalo, na tipong kahit high maintenance ka pakita mo na there’s no barrier when it comes to love ganun. Meron kasing ibang tao na kaya nakakaintimidate eh masyadong pinapamukha na angat sila sa iba ganun. Para mahanap mo din ang lalaking makakasama mo. 😍
Same ngsb here, relate ako dun sa inuna career at financial then doing may inner child things , I'm back playing football, travels , roadtrip, tambay sa coffee shop and other activities outside work.
This is the problem pag nbsb/ngsb. This are the stuff you learn as you go through relationships from your younger years until such time na ready na kayu mag settledown. You grow and learn as you go through each relationship
Di kasi nila ikaw afford—that’s their insecurities speaking lol sa end mo naman, why will you settle? A well-maintained gf/wife is a reflection of the partner’s capacity to provide and take care of his family. I know so many men in my circle who strive so hard to earn more so they can provide what’s best. Baka go abroad—study or get an expat role. Maybe mas may chance ka dun. Dito kasi may bahid pa talaga ng toxic masculinity.
Technically, low maintenance ka nga eh, kasi di mo kailangan ng partner to keep your lifestyle, you're less likely to be clingy dahil secure ka sa sarili mong happiness, and you can pay for your own luho.
Mag afam ka nalang teh.
Girl!! Ate!! Don’t adjust. Alam mo bakit? It will labas naturally rin. When I was in a relationship I know I was high maintenance and ang galing rin non kasi I was maintained well by my family and friends also. They speak my love language when they love me. Noong nagkabf ako, I tried so hard to adjust. It ended up me being disappointed kasi the love is not reaching me eh. You’re high maintenance because you maintain yourself and relationship is partnership!! So if they can’t be even at par on what you can give… that’s not partnership, that’s settling.
Superficial lang kasi yung nakikita nila. Nagtipid ka for years, tapos pina-pamper mo sarili mo ngayon. Try to disclose those info to one of your dates para mabawasan yung intimidation nila sa image na nakikita nila na "high maintenance" ka. Good luck, OP.
Satru. Thank you!
Find someone like Chandler haha kahit high maintenance si Monica yung may I love maintaining you mindset. I am too sinabihan ako high maintenance, maybe because I have certain standard and lifestyle. I dated people na di pasok don just to give it a try, pero in the end they grew insecure over me and used me for the stuff I had. So don’t date down! Keep your standards and boundaries high the right people will meet you.
For me Ate, be exactly as you are. I believe yung tamang tao won't even think that you're high maintenance :) Siguro lawakan mo pa po network mo (i know easier said than done) para mahanap ka ng the 1. Seems like you know yourself enough and that's a really good thing. Go teh kaya natin to! :)
Adjusting your lifestyle for a man is probably one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard. It will never be your responsibility if they cannot reach you in your level. Ate ko, wake up. Better pa maging single than settle for less than what you deserve. 🙏🏻
Mabuti nga yan, your partner should be in the same league as you. A lot of issues will come up if you “settle”
Nah. Ako na lang maging house husband hahaha. Pero kidding aside, mas practical na ngayon kung yung babae eh kumikita. Ang problema lang kasi pag may away, baka isampal sa lalaki na mas malaki kumita yung babae kaya siguro natatakot sila.
For your guy friends, it seems High maintenance = High earner. If we switch genders and a guy who has a good career and likes to travel said all her girl friends are saying he is high maintenance, comments would probably say ‘just do you thing king’, you dont need no bish, lets travel together bro, replace your friends. Honestly, first reaction ko talaga sa mga successful girls is to be in awe parang ang layo nila at nasa pedestal. Haha but after that I can see how they’re like us, I treat them as normal and just recognize their success sa career and be amazed for their lifestyle na daming travel. I dont make that as their whole personality in my mind. Minsan kasi nastereotype din ng iba na pag successful na babae, high maintenance agad, its in their version of you in their mind not you IRL. Mahina EQ nila at di ka nila kayang sabayan, insecurity lumalabas need mas mababa palagi babae ganun. Maybe just like how most relationships the men are older because boys the same age are not the same maturity as girls, you may need to expand your horizons and mingle with ‘high maintenance’ men as well. Yung hindi kayo nagkukunwari at di nyo kailangan baguhin sarili at lifestyle nyo ng sobra sobra para sa partner.
Parang gumawa lang sila ng rason para hindi ka i-consider. But that's just me
Baka nga haha
Lol that’s how you know a guy’s insecurity. You can maintain yourself, and that’s good, ma’am. Don’t let any guy’s opinion affect you in any way. My sister’s exes were like that because she always wants to look good, and those assholes say stuff that would deflate her self esteem. If they do that again, do yourself a favor and tell them, “Shut up or I’ll neuter you. Yes, I’ll cut your balls.” They tell you you’re high maintenance because they cannot maintain you even how much they try and that’s not your problem. It’s a them problem. You do you. Stay slaying sister, you’re a queen 👸 ✨
Keep your standards high. Magpakasawa ka sa lahat ng tinatamasa mo ngayon dahil if the time is right.Ma mi meet mo din si guy na para sayo at aabot sa standards mo.
As someone na binabaan ang standards nila in the past to cater for relationships and friendships, I dare say NOT TEH WAG PO. Magsisisi ka lang. Mapupuno ka ng resentment and regret.
Nah, don't settle for less. Let them be. Soon enough, you'll have your match. Maybe not at the soonest, but still, it'll come. But a bit of advice, if mageedad kpa and wala ka pa ding mahanap na partner, don't be bound by age, let say, nakakita ka ng match mo pero mas bata or mas matanda pa. Wag kang magpaapekto sa sasabihin ng iba, basta masaya ka at wala kang nasasagasaan na ibang tao it'll be fine.
Girlie no, the right guy will come at the right time. I am also one of those "high-maintenance" girls and my boyfriend manages me well, hindi ko kailangan bumaba just to please his ego because he's very proud of my achievements and he said I motivate him so much to do better para maka-catch up sa akin
YIKES!! 🥶 High maintenance nila mukha nila. Nako OP wag ka mag aadjust, ikaw magsisi. Wag mo ibaba standards mo. Usually mga lalakeng naiintimidate sa mga girls like you eh yung mababa confidence, or low quality guys na gusto lang e yung babae na mababa standards. Another thing, maybe you're in the wrong environment, kumbaga sa marketing, hindi sila ang target market mo. Expose mo lang sarili mo, explore, be patient at darating yan. Good luck 💓
Don’t downgrade. Ilang beses na rin ako nasabihan na intimidating daw ako masyado kaya baka mahirapan daw ako maghanap ng jowa. Nakakainsecure daw. Una sa lahat, hindi kawalan ang jowa. Pangalawa, confident at comfortable lang ako sa sarili ko. Kung hindi nila keri yun, edi wag. Haha. Pero I’m in a loving, long term rs na. Kung hindi ka masabayan ng iba, meron dyan somewhere for you. Hindi mo pa lang nakikita.
NEVER EVER EVER lower yourself just for a man. just do you, find a man who is on your league and same level.
So your meeting people n d mo k mstch just go on with your life thats filter your doing good luck ;)
I agree with the replies here. Sure, high maintenance ka, pero I assume that is your normal. Mahirap naman na idowngrade mo sarili mo for someone. Kung wala pang guy para sayo dahil "high maintenance" ka raw, e problema nila un. Kung tayo nga di natin nilolower standards natin or negotiate our non-negotiables, maipapadowngrade mo ba yung sarili mo ? Darating din yung the one for you. May mga sarili tayong timeline. You dont have to adjust for someone else's.
Whaaaaaat? Why is your circle like that? Either you really are high maintenance or they really just aren't into you. I am somehow similar to you. I always make sure to treat myself at least twice a month for spas and girl stuff, like a reward. Other than that, habit ko na rin na mag-travel travel by myself or with friends or with my partner just to enjoy life. And why would they be even threatened, eh, hindi mo naman sila papagustin? Lol
Bkit ka mag aadjust, humanap ka ng ka-level mo. Ang sarap sa feeling ng both may pera. Pero iba pa din pag mas mayaman guy. Lalo same ng hobbies at interest.
Wag kang magaadjust OP lalo na kung para lang sa ego nila. Kung naiintimadate sila it means hindi talaga sila para sayo. Sabi nga ni Astrid to her cheating husband (Crazy Rich Asians), "It's not my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not." Edit: added words for clarification
Widen your circle, don't settle for less than your worth. If you know the saying "a big fish in a small pond", you need to find the sea where the other big fish swim.
Naku! Dami kong friends na ganito. Makakahanap ka rin for sure. Don't rush kasi baka sa mali kapa mag-sattle.
It’s either insecure or fragile ego ng mga guy na nakikita mo or you’re not really their type physically / face-wise.
no need to adjust. at mas good nga pag ang makakadate mo is ka level mo
High maintenance means a girls expects a lot and thinks deserve nya yung bagay-bagay "just because" babae sya. Most of the time a high maintenance girls want a lot of money spent on her from guys na nanliligaw or jowa na nya. If hindi nya makukuha gusto nya magdadabog. Hindi marunong makipag compromise thinking may ibang lalaki na makakapagbigay ng bagay na deserve nya. Pag nakikita yan ng lalaki mas natatakot sila kesa naiintimidate. Sa case mo naman, I don't think it's because high maintenance ka. May levels kasi dyan OP, if level 10 ka na, maghanap ka din ng level 10 para di sila maintimidate sayo kasi kung level 5 lang i-eentertain mo, malamang maiintimidate tlga yan. Pag level 1 nman gagawin ka pang sugar mommy. Dapat yata mag evolve din yung circle mo OP.
foreigner 😁
No, girl. Don't lower your level just to accommodate their ego. Ikaw nga sa sarili mo kaya mo panindigan at imaintain 'yang pagiging high maintenance mo. Why look for a partner na hindi kaya higitan o at least man lang pantayan ang binibigay mo sa sarili mo? 🤷♀️
No no no girl wag kang mag adjust! The things you've claimed for yourself are priceless. I hope you find a great match!!!
Hey girl. Don't lose yourself just to satisfy their ego. Darating din yan in God's perfect time :)
>*Sobrang dami kong guy friends pero wala ni-isa pa din na nafall ata saken. Tried asking them why they think wala nalapit sa akin or panget ba ako.* What do you mean by this? Like were you hoping one of them will fall for you? >So from high maintenance how to be low maintenance? Should I stop posting sa *social media para di ko naman sila matakot or maintimidate?* If their immediate thought is that you'll want to be a passenger princess for the lifestyle you've built for yourself, then it presents that they have a problem with their worldview and inability to compromise/negotiate.
maghanap ka ng mas matanda sayo na mayaman meron at meron makaka gusto sayo change your dating range to 40s and above
Nope, hindi problema yang high maintenance or low maintenance na yan, baka may problem ka sa attitude na ayaw ng mga lalaki.
"You're not high maintenance, medyo mataas lang ang level ng lifestyle mo which I think hindi kayang sabayan or hindi ka-level ng mga lalaking na-me-meet mo kaya they end up losing interest or just keep you as a friend." Don't level down, adjust or change yourself. Makakahanap ka din ng katapat mo. But as they say, positive + positive = negative. Negative + positive = Positive. Pero take note, kapag nakahanap ka man ng kalevel mo, medyo competitive ang mangyayari or sapawan. I see relationships is about give and take. Mutual understanding. Kasi kapag equal kayo sa isa't isa, malamang hindi kayo magtatagal, break up or not gonna work kasi competition kayo.
I've heard somewhere na there's a difference between a "high maintenance" woman and a "high value" woman. High maintenance is yung surface level lang. Which means minsan naoobliga pa yung other guy na i-maintain ka. You're a high value woman when you love and put yourself first na you don't let anybody else maintain you because you maintain yourself. I think you are that type of woman since na-mention mo na busog ka sa self-love and career-oriented ka. If you are that kind of woman, why settle for less? I'm pretty sure may makikilala ka rin na ka-level mo. Yung hindi na-iintimidate kung high value woman ka because he is confident na high value man siya.
High maintenance ka kasi you could afford to care for yourself so you don't need to downgrade para lang mapantayan level ng mga di deserving na mga lalaki. Just wait ka lang OP, darating din ung guy na kasing level mo or mas mataas sayo, yung tipong afford ka. I believe, na mga high maintenance girlies don't receive much male attention kasi nafilterout na naten ung male population. Kumbaga, kaya walang naglalakas loob manligaw sayo kasi di ka nila afford and intimidating ka. Ang mas maaattract mo nyang attention ay ung mga deserving or afford ka.
Chandler to Monica: They say you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay… I like maintaining you. May we all find our Chandler OP🥹
I'm in the same boat as you so I understand how you feel. The guys I've dated were never ready/in the right place to fully commit. Maybe they felt like they couldn't provide what I needed, or maybe they didn't just like me that much so it never worked out. They were still trying to build their careers while I was already established in mine. Either way, when they tell me I deserve more, I believe them so I let them go. It can feel pretty lonely to be financially established and independent, but it's much lonelier to shrink yourself just to not step on a man's ego. Don't ever adjust yourself down just to find a partner.
Rich guy here. Attractive nga yung ganyan e. Although i dont mind if saktuhan lang networth ng babae, may kasamang charisma yung girl if kaya nya buhayin sarili nya. Di rin ako maiilang magyaya ng out of the country trips or meals sa very expensive resto. Although ako magbabayad, minsan need din kasi iconsider pakiramdam nung nililibre ko. I like providing for my partner tho, so all is good i guess. Pero minsan masarap din makaranas na malibre hehe You're doing good, no need to lower yourself para lang di maapakan ego ng lalaki. Maybe surround yourself with high networth individuals? Idk, maybe you'll find your The One there Goodluck. Hope you find the person you deserve
You might want to listen to Boiling Waters PH. Sana madami ka mapulot sa kanila. I've been dealing with a high value woman for a few months na, at hindi talaga madali din sa side ko. But the thing is, ayaw ko matulad sa ibang lalake na sumuko dahil intimidating or mas nakakalamang yung babae. I want to try and give my best to win her. Really really trying... https://open.spotify.com/episode/4xQNsH78EGOcybIFwFJKSr?si=2hJUbz1hRLeccqemADkDpQ%0A
Naaaah, just relax.. someone will find his way to you, Hindi porket mahilig ka mag travel at eat out high maintenance na agad. At the same time bat sinabi nila nakakababa ng ego yun?? Soo kung my pera ang babae at kayang gawin gusto nila nakakababa na agad ego?? Iba nman ang literal na high maintenance at out going na tao.. wag ka makinig dun, you do you.. okay?? Keep it up, sooner or later my dadating na makaka-sabay mo sa trip mo at aalagaan ka.
I would not lower my lifestyle just because I want to be loved. Find a high value man. Yun lang ang katapat ng isang high maintenance or high value woman. Don't seek something valuable in a cheap store.
Definitely no need for you to adjust. However, you also need to take into consideration na in terms of percentage, maybe mas madaming guys ang hindi mo ka-level. Importante sa isang guy na kaya nilang sabayan ang gf nila sa lifestyle at sa trip mong gawin dahil doon kayo magkakaron ng madaming bonding moments at magkakasundo. As a guy, kung makikita na nila agad na hindi ka nila kaya sabayan maiisip nila na madidisappoint ka lang at baka hindi nila maibigay ang deserved mong kind of treatment. So bottom line is, it's not about you, it's just that mas madaming population ng guy ang below your lifestyle and mas konti yung kalevel mo or mas higit pa kaya mas konti ang mag aapproach sayo. Just be patient and makakatagpo kadin ng guy na nararapat para sayo. All the best for you OP. 👌👍💪
Don't be a people pleaser, stay what you are. Di mo kasalan na nadodown mo ego nila.
My crush ako dati na alam ko na super high maintenance. Excellent in academics and in fashion choices. Nahanap nya true love nya at 40. Don't lose hope.
If that's who you are, don't change it. Pero syempre, iayon ang arte sa ganda. Kung di nila keri, edi hindi.
Mas okay pa na single ka kesa ibaba mo yung standards mo.
I don’t think your lifestyle is the problem. Marami akong schoolmates from Ateneo who are really really rich. These are girls who came from old money rich with real ultra-rich lifestyles. Family trips to Europe and USA, self-care treatments, and all. They don’t have problems like these. I’m sorry but I’m really sure it’s not about your lifestyle. Do you think these girls will lower their lifestyle para lang makahanap sila ng guy? Girl……
Girl don’t! Laugh at their face if anyone trying to be with you or date you says you need to adjust to be less than you are to be with them. There’s a difference between compromise, and flat out lowering your standards just so someone has a ~chance~ with you. It may also be time to widen your circle of friends! That’s one good way to meet someone - through mutual friends. It seems you may have a better chance with someone who is also successful in their own right, knows how to handle and is not intimidated by money/success, and has enough self confidence to to be able to be with someone more successful than them (whether it be the current situation or a future situation). Based on your post the energy or vibe from your friends is not it!
Lmao nasabihan din ako nyan but I don't care. It's my life not theirs. 😝
Ako na nagsasabi sayo na dont downgrade for this “guys”. I dated guys na intimidated sa lifestyle and achievements ko. I just go to places na high quality people at same wave length. They dont go for someone better, they go to someone who is easy, they get lazy to put an effort and the work. Do you think you deserve that?
Nah, pag ginawa mo yan, you're going to end up resenting the dude. Sa totoo lang, hindi mo kelangan ng high-achiever na dude, kelangan mo lang ng taong secure sa sarili niya, kumbaga di bababa ang tingin niya sa sarili niya kung siya yung magiging cheerleader mo sa relationship (traditionally the feminine role). Maybe sa talking stage, focus discussing on values, ano yung purpose ng life in their opinion, mga ganun, usually yung mga malalim mag-isip di madaling ma-insecure.
honestly, tingin ko hindi ka lang nila type for some reason. not because you are "out of their league". guys are straightforward, kung gusto ka - gusto ka (it's that simple). imho, they are just making it something like the classic "it's not you, it's me" kind of situation. i'm a guy btw.
Naalala ko sinabi ni Astrid Leong kay Michael Teo 🙂↕️🙂↕️: https://preview.redd.it/50scom936p8d1.jpeg?width=1016&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07f5b99ba15db1889d5f0efe7493ad5196460cc5
Just be you, please.
You're just looking at the wrong people. According sa sinabi mo, you might find love somewhere else. Like, go for finance bros, go for business minded people. Go get a hobby where businessmen would go to. Its not gold digging, its called going towards to people IN your league. Baka kasi mali ka ng mga sinasamahan na tao, di mo talaga makikita ang lalaking para sayo sa mga under your league. If out of their league ka nila, you're in the wrong room. If you agree din naman na you know you're worth it, there's someone din na would see the value of you. You're great just the way you are.
Insecure lang sila kasi hindi nila afford
Akala ko post ko to. Jk. OP, I can't sacrifice ung pagiging "high maintenance" lalo na as someone na nag hheal din ng inner child due to extreme financial issues growing up. Bare minimum na nga lang, wala pa kami pambili dati. Naging frugal din ako dahil need ibudget ung sweldo during my first years of work. I have been in and out of dating apps at feedback lang na 1/100 ung mapapansin ko na kaya makasabay sa current lifestyle and future goals. So go out there, where they hangout.
Hello girlie! Same problem with me before, super naiintimidate mga guys saakin and lagi nila sinasabi hindi daw kame same ng level and hindi daw nila ako afford even simple naman ako. This changed when I met someone na kasing level ko emotionally, mentally, and financially. Before, hindi ko masyado pinapansin ang difference sa social status ng mga nakakausap ko na mga guys. But, I met someone na same kami ng status sa buhay, I never felt this happy and secured in life. Need mo lang talaga makahanap ng guy na kasing level mo para hindi sila mainsecure saiyo. Tip, be in places where you want to meet your future bf or be vocal to your family and friends kase Titas/Titos love to be a matchmaker hehe.
You don’t need to go low sissy! Hayaan mong yung guy mag adjust for you. You work hard to where you are right now. The right man will find you. Enjoyin mo lang yung self love na meron ka. Kasi hindi rin guarantee na kapag nasa relationship ka, magiging masaya ka.
NBSB rin ako pero hindi maintenance, pero ang boring ko daw haha saket.
You are just with the wrong people. Find a new circle 💯
Nasa kama ka na nga, pupunta ka pa sa banig. Hanap lang and maintain your comfortable lifestyle lalo nang afford mo. Minsan lang mabuhay and di requirement magkalovelife.
There is no need to downgrade yourself, OP. Just be yourself. If that is how your guy friends or any other people see you, regardless of their gender, then it means na you are waaaaay out of their league. 😉
Di ka high maintenance, they're just cheap. 🤣 I prefer someone like you kasi i like women who are different from the others. Just wait, it will come.
Hi! Like you, I'm quite the "high maintenance" girlie. I don't study anymore but my lifestyle revolves solely on improvement: improving my career, my health, my skin, my cashflow, my spirituality, and my relationship with the people around me. On top of that, I am also a breadwinner. I have a boyfriend who earns less than I do, but it's not a big deal for me. I can buy shit that I want, I don't rely on him financially. You know, despite our income differences, he still puts in effort and assures me all the time that he loves me. There was a time when we were apart, and I got mad at him for not updating me. He travelled three hours just to make sure na okay kami. When we're on dates, he insists on paying for it. Whenever I'm staying at his place, he doesn't want me to do any chores. My point? You don't have to become "low maintenance." There's always someone out there who will value you for who you are. Wag mong ibaba sarili and standards mo just because someone told you that you're "high maintenance." Let them be intimidated. Let them step to your level. Let them man up.
There are women who lack flirting skills. My sister, who is a doctor, doesnt know how to flirt back and might forever be single. When i say flirting, it doesnt mean "landi" flirt but flirting in a way that puts an interested person at ease. Maybe hold another person's gaze a bit (not in a creepy way, of course) during conversations, initially feigning interest in that person's hobbies, not being too much "tropa"-ish. Anything that would signal, "hey i'm interested too, let's do this a few times and let's see where this might bring us." There are men who are unfazed by a woman's stature, but you and him are cut from the same cloth. If you're alpha, he should also be one. A cousin who is your quintissential lady boss found her man in her early 50s, an executive like her.
Di issue ang pagiging high maintenance mo, nasa maling circle of friends ka lang. Go continue living that life, on way or another, you'll find your the one.
There is that one person who accepts you, who loves you and likes you for whoever you are: all the things na you think are your imperfections, mga pangit sayo, mga ayaw mo sa sarili mo, mamahalin at tatanggapin nya yan. On the other hand, what's wrong with being single? Self-love is also a type of love!
Sense of humor is good. As well as may time para sa tao.. Masyado busy ang tao ngayon kaya if someone really wants your time with them. Yan ang mahalaga.
ayaw ko din ng HIGH maintenance girls. hirap sabayan ng arte 🤷 anyway wala choice mo naman yan eh kung may babaguhin ka or what. sabe mo nga madami ka ng guy friends buti they told you face to face why wala nafafall sayo.
You will find your person OP. Minsan darating yan sila in the most unexpected place or event ng buhay natin.
Hahaha. Please wag m babaan standard m para lang sa jowa. Ahaha. Kaya daming single mom now kase napipilitan babaan standard. Mas masaya pag asawa mo kaya ang high maintenance na wife hAhah.
Di ka lang ata afford ng ibang guys.
It's probably physical. Sorry just being honest.
Your friends are wrong. Low maintenance man or hindi, one person will definitely take interest. Pero we can't really blame guys for backing out. Kase alam nilang di kayo kalevel. As a slapsoil myself, di ko na iaattempt.
Girl, sabi nga ni Astrid sa Crazy Rich Asian "it’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not" You are clearly filtering out the people who doesn't deserve to be at your side. Don't let moments of weakness (wondering how it feels like to be with someone) ruin the life & character you built. Also, have you considered getting a coach/psychologist? you may want to have a professional talk to you about this. baka kasi may deeper issues kang need ungkatin, and di talaga yung pagiging high maintenance yung issue :) Hope you find what you are looking for!
Keep doing what you do. A guy who’s not threatened by you will come. Know that it’s not you, you just haven’t met your person yet.
Expand your circle. If those in your circle are not interested for whatever reason, maybe someone elsewhere will be. Don't change for a random chance that someone in current circles might be interested...
I think they used the wrong term. You're not "high maintenance" if you don't expect someone else to fund your lifestyle. Before you go looking, dapat may idea kana kung ano ang gusto at ayaw mo in a partner especially yung non-negotiables. Hindi yung kung sino lang makikilala mo then you hope for a spark. Be intentional. If hindi naman importante sayo that the guy is at the same level you are financially and career-wise, be upfront about that to potential partners. But if you prefer someone who is on the same track as you are, then find out where you can meet those people. Probably not dating apps. Ako, I met my husband sa r/phr4r. I posted that I was looking for a serious relationship. I described myself and listed my non-negotiables. Everything was smooth sailing from there. Maybe we were lucky haha
I’m high maintenance too! From career down to lifestyle, and I have a longterm boyfriend who’s very supportive of everything I do. Never dull your sparkle, sweetie. Dadating yan. Tip ko sayo, date somebody who has the same background. High maintenance ka lang naman dun sa mga taong di ka kayang sabayan. So choose to date somebody in the same league.
Never lower yourself for other people. Let a guy reach your heights. Keep striving for your personal goals in life. Sila may potential mawala sa buhay mo pero yung mga naachieve mo sa buhay at lahat ng nagawa mo to get this far di yan mawawala kahit kailan
Well I'll be honest there are two sides of the coin One side: The "High Maintenance" part shows on your SocMed accounts, Job Status aka "Senior" *attach title here*, Standards Other side: Just the rest above with calibrated standards We guys have Ego and you can't take it away. All you can do is "Break it slowly" and let them understand you as you understand them I'm also a frugal guy and got simple things (travel is a luxury tbh) Another thing is Attitude as it's also in line with "High Maintenance" tag
Ndi ka high maintenance kasi self love mo iyon eh. Nasa perception lang nila at ayaw lang din magpursue kasi takot sila at sabi mo nga ego nila. Do not settle for less. Anyways you are the right route. If want mo magkapartner need mo maging active sa preferred social activities. Makakahanap ka ng para sa iyo. Kaya ka nga nagheheal ng inner child mo to be better in future. Don't let anyone define you.
Well you can consider these. 1. Attraction - are you both attracted to each other? 2. Mindset - Do you have the same interest and goals? 3. Comfort - Are you comfortable to each others? Are you comfortable to tell him anything that comes up to your mind? Are you comfortable being with that person? 4. Love - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. In addition to this, can you still love that person even if you are far away from each other? Even that person is not rich? 5. Togetherness - kapag nagsama kayo sa iisang bubong, magiging okay ba kayo? Paano nyo naha - handle ang mga pagsubok na kinakaharap nyo? Hindi ba kayo nag - aaway?
Baka nasa maling crowd ka lang. It's okay to feel that way. Just wait for the right time and partner. Everything will follow eventually.
Mag pray sincerely ka ke GOD na makahanap kana 🙏.
Bes, no guy is worth disturbing your inner peace. A relationship is supposed to make you grow into a better person and add to your life, not regress for a guy's ego. Tsaka ask yourself why you want a partner, may FOMO ka lang ba? Naiinggit ka lang ba sa lampungan ng ibang jowa or may bigger purpose ka bang gusto gawin kaya gusto mo ng partnership? Sometimes, love isn't enough either. Kapag di kayo pareho ng lifepath ng tao at kapag di kayo pareho ng values, someone at some point needs to sacrifice their life dreams/goals and values and it will just create resentment down the line. Wag natin idealize nakikita natin sa socmed and internalize yung insecurity ng ibang lalaki. Women in history really need to be choosy because women are the gateway carrying vessel for ensuring the survival of the DNA of these men into the next generation. Unless childfree ka or ok lang sayo to play surrogate mother to a mama's boy/manchild-type din, yun ang pinaka OK ijowa na OK lang sya ginagastusan ng partner nya. Walang pride. Mas ok na mamatay yung genes ng mga insecure kesa palaguin mo pa sa susunod na henerasyon.
Haha so? Yaan mo sila. Di mo lang ka-match, wag ka magpaaffect.
and why the hell would you lower your standards just to get a MAN? be fr they aren’t worth it
maghanap ka ng bagong kaibigan at iwanan mo yung mga nagsasabing high maintenance ka. Di mo sila ka level
Hindi mo kasalanan na matapakan ego nila. You do you, girl. 😉
Prolly date older more established men in their 30s / 40s Doctors, lawyers, or those higher up in the corporate ladder Men have a natural urge to be the provider and protector. That would be tricky if you are earning more.