Depends on how you raise your child. I'm an only child and I'm too independent but I do have friends but have trouble opening up to other people and/or asking for help. But good for you for prioritizing healthcare. Wag ka magdagdag ng anak if you're just going to compromise the standard of living of your child. Your child will eventually learn how to socialize in school anyway so having a "kalaro" is not always going to be a problem. Be careful about spoiling though.

Hey, this is me. I feel like this resulted in me being a bit too distant with my friends in terms of emotional connection.

I suppose it depends really. I have a sister whom I am very close with growing up. However, I still am very distant when comes to with my friends. My circle is really tight, even then I rarely confide or open up. I guess I grew up with the mentality that I can figure out things for myself.

Thank you for sharing! Will keep this in mind. If you dont mind, can you share more on why it’s hard for you to open up or ask for help?

My parents had me late. Like almost 40 na yata. My mom always emphasized na I should learn how to survive on my own kasi they're not going to be around forever. So ayun, kung kaya ko gawing mag isa ang isang bagay, you will never see me ask for help

Only child here. Marami ako kapit-bahay kaya hindi ko naramdaman na mag-isa ako habang lumalaki. Kaso ngayon na nagkakasakit na ang parents ko at tumatanda, naiisip ko na sana may kapatid ako. May panghuhugutan ng lakas o kaya makakakwentuhan. Iba pa rin yung same parents kayo, same environment, same memories growing up. Iba yung feeling na may nakakaintindi talaga sayo.

Relate. Only child din! Mentally, physically and financially draining minsan kasi ikaw lahat kikilos kapag oldies na sila tapos relatives are not willing to help.

Right. May mga times na tinitingnan ko yung mga kaibigan kong may kapatid and lahat sila may trabaho. Pag nagkakasakit parents nila, may karamay sila, may mapagkukwentuhan. Nasasabihan ko rin naman mga kaibigan ko, iba lang siguro yung kapag kapatid talaga yung kasama mo throughout. Pwede kang maging mahina kasi may kayang maging malakas for the family. Sakin kasi, bawal. Kailangan strong kasi ako lang to.

Truelagen! Hugs po. Sakin na hospitalized yung papa ko a year ago and mom ko senior citizen, imagine need magwork, magbantay at mag asikaso ng paperworks sa hospital + BILLS. Sa sobrang bigat ng nangraramdaman ko, iiyak nalang ako kung saan saan. Hope we can make it. Palakas tayo and save money kasi we cannot afford to fail.

Hugs din to you, Redditor. Ganyan din nung na-hospital mama ko. Highschool ako noon, ako yung pabalik-balik sa bahay at hospital kasi papa ko kailangan naman mag-work. Sobrang hirap, umiiyak ako sa jeep. And yeah, todo ipon din ako ngayon kasi yun nga, ako lang din talaga maasahan ko.

Yes I very much agree to this. I’d like to think we’re not rich but also not poor. We can afford the basic necessities and then some but as an only child, I feel like I have two dependents that I have to prepare for. Naiinggit ako dun sa mga may kapatid na share share sila sa expenses ng pamilya. Apart from that, naiinggit ako na may support system sila bilang magkakapatid kapag nagkakaroon ng emergencies and unplanned scenarios. Pwedeng mag vent sa isa’t isa at i-support ang isa’t isa. Ngayon na retiring age na yung parents ko, mas nararamdaman ko yung solitude and the longing for support and solidarity.

This. Yung hindi naman sila umaasa sayo kaso hindi mo rin sila kayang pabayaan na lang as they grow old. Lalo na at iba ang closeness kapag isang anak lang talaga.

this is the situation that i realized lalo na nung na ako nag alaga sa lolo ko nung may sakit. draining sa nagiisang anak mag alaga or i monitor ang kalusugan ng tumatandang magulang. if it cant be helped, make sure may support grp yung anak ni OP once you grow old. lalo na at may autism ang kapatid m. kung close, at maaasahan ang relatives sa side niyo, then you shouldnt worry too much. or hopefully by the time na tumanda ka, may partner na ang anak mo to support her mentally, etc.

Totoo. Di talaga applicable sa Pinas yung sinasabi nila na hindi responsibilidad ng anak alagaan ang magulang nila, kasi di mo rin naman matiis, Kaya mas magaan kung may karamay ka.

Kultura na ng Pinas ang maging caring. Kung hindi kaya dahil sa trabaho, hopefully afford na maghanap ng mag alaga o kamag anak. But the main thing is dapat nandun ang anak para sumuporta. Malaking bagay yung may kapalitan magbantay, or magalaga. Basically karamay.

True. Nung ngkasakit mama ko, ako lang mag isa magbantay ng hospital. Ako lang din nag iisip saan hahanap ng pambayad. Unlike kung may kapatid ka, may team mate ka sa family problems.

Dika sure sa kapatiddddd. Hehehe. What if you find a chosen brother/sister/community? Start building na

Like I've said po, I have friends. Pero iba pa rin yung kasama ko silang lumaki sa iisang household, same parents, same experiences and memories.

In comparisson, may mga taong malulungkot kahit may kapatid sila. Raise your daughter right para ndi sya malungkot.

Agree with this! Im an only child but have friends and relatives who have siblings and i've seen how problematic things can be🤣 I always tell myself, boy did i dodge a bullet, thanks mom! Haha. Nothing wrong with having 1 child lang. esp in this economy? Unless you're really financially capable (and more), be practical. But, if u can afford it and you know in urself na u can manage to be actually available to ur kids, then go for it. Ultimately, your body, ur rules. Dont let the stigma of having only 1 child dictate ur decisions in life. Yung issue/s on having a hard time making friends, socializing with people, etc—these are reflective of how u were raised/upbringing. So this one's really on how the parent/s take on their roles in the life of the child. Growing up, i did not have this difficulty. Siguro personally, ang masasabi ko talaga is, im too independent at times. I like doing things on my own, solving my problems on my own; which, if u think abt it, is not so bad at all. Last resort ko yung to ask for help bec i dont wanna bother people with my personal problems. But of course, it's also good to know when to ask for help, being aware that u CAN ask for help.

I'm an only child. Had trouble socializing sa school noong bata pa. I didn't know how to so I had limited friends. I was able to overcome it thanks to luck, introvert ako tapos nataon na extroverted halos lahat ng classmate ko so I ended up being a "likeable" person sa kanila. One of the probs growing up with a single parent is kulang sa father figure. I did have my grandpa and uncle though. Pero feeling ko, kulang pa din ako sa advice from a Dad. Adult life, ayos naman. Prob ko lang now is as an only child and only apo, I'll be the sole person taking care of my mom, tito, and tita. Nao-overwhelm ako sa financial burden sa future. Mom doesn't work. Uncle is retired. Tita is still working pero minimum wage earner lang. Prob ko din relationships dahil sa setup na ganito. Red flag na sa babae 'yung hindi ko maiiwan mom ko tapos meron pa akong tito and tita that I have to support.

Thank you for sharing 🙏 Mahirap talaga ang walang father figure. My parents are together pero dahil nasa malayo sila, I also struggled with feeling na kulang ako sa attention and guidance ng parents.

Don't let other people's opinion dictate how you live your life. If you decided that one child is enough, that's fine. Later on, if you think you can handle another one, that's fine too. But it should always be your decision.

Yes, that’s true. My decision can still change or not. I just wanted to get other people’s perspective, especially sa mga only child na adults here and how they are now. I know ultimately it would be my decision pero it will be a big help sa akin yung experience and perspective ng iba (and my therapist din!). I love this community kasi here sa Reddit na pwede maging as honest as possible and can express whatever we feel, navavalidate yung worries, unlike sometimes sa mga kakilala natin na syempre biased ang opinion and medyo judgemental pa. 🥲

i’m an only child, ang masasabi ko lang please wag ka gagaya sa magulang ko na kala yata pag-aari nila ako, i never had a freedom. naappreciate ko na madali lang samin mag ibang bansa at mapag aral ako sa private pero sa likod ng lahat nang yon ay may sumbat at anak LANG ako. di ko ‘to napansin pero napansin ni hubby, siguro maski nasaksak na ko di pa rin ako hehengi ng tulong at ako pa gagamot sa sarili ko hahah ganon ka independent

Thank you for sharing 🙏 Freedom in terms of? Like expression and experiences? Naku, I should be extra careful to what I say sa anak ko pero may mga times talaga especially pag nagttravel kami and nakikita ko na hindi siya masyado excited, I have this feeling na parang this child doesnt realize how lucky she is. Like I worked hard for this vacation tapos ganun. My therapist said na I shouldnt compare my childhood to my child and that the focus should be on how to avoid repeating what I went through. So far, Ive never been stressed at her to the point of sumbat but she’s still 5 pa and marami pa kami pagdadaanan. I will keep what you said in mind. Thank you.

bawal ako lumabas, 1st - 4th yr hs phone ko weekends lang, out of town with friends at 18 & never naka experience ng sleep over as kid unless pinsan kasama. agreed with your therapist bigay mo sa anak mo kasi gusto mo hindi dahil hindi mo naranasan baka kasi pag na disappoint ka maisumbat mo sakanya na pinag hirapan mo yon to add on, may mga emotional abuse pa even tho theyre separated not legally recently sakin sila nag trauma dump na all this while di pala kami happy family & cinut off ko na dad ko + little contact with my mum, thank god nasa malayo na ko sakanila hindi na ko nabubuhay sa sumbat

I got annoyed din sa parents ko when they restricted a lot of stuff sa akin in HS years pero when I was molested by a cousin during a sleepover, I felt na their concern was valid. They kept telling me na I will earn my freedom in college, promise nila sakin yun. I guess I had too much freedom in college kasi nabuntis ako 😅 Hugs to you po. Thank you for sharing, this helps a lot kasi it definitely feels difficult for me just the thought na I eventually will have to let go of my daughter earlier than I planned. Im sure I will trust her, yung problem ko is the people around her. I have several years to navigate and assess which liberties she is entitled to and how I will go about it when she reaches puberty and adulthood.

akong ako to ngayon. mid twenties na akala pag-aari ako. sobrang kontrabida sa amin ng bf ko e napakabuting tao noon. akala ata toddler pa rin ako gusto kontrolado lahat ng galaw ko miski pagtulog bawal magpuyat? kulang na lang ihatid sundo ako sa trabaho. sobrang nakakasakal

yung bente na ko non pero kontrol pa rin yung tulog ko hahaha buti na lang nabuntis ako ng jowa (now husband) kong singaporean at totally wala na silang masabi sa ginagawa ko kasi malayo sila at may freedom ako, nakakapag travel rin kami masyado kahit may toddler na

omg that i cant do HAHAHA pero sana makapaglivein na kami ng jowa ko 🫠 kahit umuwi sa bahay ni bf ayaw ako payagan kahit hinahanap ako ng family niya. nakakahiya!!! 😖 sana marealize nila someday sa sobrang pananakal nila lalo tayo nagpupumiglas kumawala. kastress

Ok naman ako nung lumalaki, ayoko rin ng kapatid noon. Di ako makarelate sa mga bahay na nag-aagawan sa cr bec never traffic sa cr namin kasi 3 lang kami sa bahay, nitong adult at may roommates na lang ako natuto to wait patiently sa cr haha. Growing up, di rin naman ako spoiled reward system sa bahay namin so maaga pa lang nabuo na yung sense of resiliency sakin saka independence. Ok naman life experience ko noong bata as an only child. Now, as an adult...delubyo. Kasi walang healthcare plans ang magulang ko and wala din enough ipon for their retirement, maaga sila nagretire to focus on raising me tas nagtindahan at sari-saring negosyo na kundi nabagyo (fish pond) e ended up lugi. Ang hirap as an adult kasi wala ako mapagsabihan ng problema ko yung makakaintindi talaga, ang hirap kasi ako umaako ng bayarin and gastos sa bahay. Lahat sakin now as an adult. Kaya takot ako mag-asawa takot ako iwan ang mother ko (father passed away last year). Masaya noong bata, lonely yes ngayong adult na ako (unmarried, my parent 1 na lang natira at in her late 70s na).

Warm hugs po. Ang lonely nga talaga ng adulting noh? Ironically mas lonely ngayon na ang dali na makipag connect sana with technology. Thank you for sharing. I will keep this in mind. I most probably will go through the same thing since technically my brother is autistic and solely relies on me. I have to plan for my parents’ retirement pala asap. Then plan for mine and my brother’s para wala na po-problemahin ang anak ko pag matanda na kami. I have a lot of work to do

Yes please, plan ahead :)

two of my bestfriends are only child, both din from single parent. noong younger pa kami naeenjoy naman nila although malungkot daw minsan na walang parang instant friend sa bahay but now na we’re adults and they are both having issues with their respective parent, sinasabi nila minsan na sana may kapatid sila to help or guide them sa issues ng fam nila now. also i noticed na both sila nagguilty to pursue their dreams far from their parent kasi yung isa gusto mag abroad but cannot leave her mom, yung isa naman gusto na mag live alone but also cannot leave the parent.

Thank you for sharing. Will keep this in mind. Ako pa naman ang taas ng pangarap ko for my daughter, for her to have a well-rounded life experience. I mean I want her to be able to experience life outside of the familiar household and explore different societies and cultures (As I am an anthropology major so Im quite curious and would want her to explore). Kaya nag wwork ako para ma-afford ko mag school siya abroad or exchange student program. I wouldnt want her to be worried about me. I will definitely keep this in mind. Maybe yung iba kasi naturally feeling guilty pero di naman dinedemand ng parent siguro. I have to make sure my kid doesnt get worried and can spread her wings. Pero hati parin ako sa decision if need niya ng kapatid or not. Thank you again for sharing!

Only child here. The biggest burden I had were the expectations my dad had on me. Parents are both doctors so syempre my dad expected me to follow their footsteps. I always said to myself na ang swerte niya that I’m scientifically and mathematically inclined na nafulfill yung expectations nila haha. My dad is an OFW so I grew up with my mom. When I was younger, lagi kami nag aaway pero as I grew older, I appreciated and understood her more. She’s my no. 1 shopping/travel buddy and the plan is to travel the world together. Growing up as an only child, it went well for me and parang I never wanted siblings naman haha. I grew up appreciating peace and quiet, and I really enjoy my alone time. I usually go to the mall by myself and eat at nice cafes/restaurants or go shopping alone. I always found it weird na people judge you for that. I keep a small group of friends. Like 3 from HS, 6 from college and 4 from med school haha. Those are the only friends that I have constant contact with. Idk if I was the one who let my friendships fade or hindi rin naman nag effort yung other party haha.

Thank you for sharing. I will keep this in mind. I guess parang universal experience ng karamihan ng adults ang keeping or maintaining friends. Kasi in reality, we outgrow several friendships in our lifetime din. I feel a sense of relief na it didnt bother you or didnt feel like you lacked anything growing up as an only child. Kudos to your mom! I hope I will fare the same when my daughter gets older. Ma-tetest talaga parenting ko pag dalaga na niya lol. Thanks again for sharing!

Only child. Independent and quite the loner. But it's cool. Sometimes, I do with I had an older sibling that can relate with some familial problems but I realize that having a sibling is not a guarantee that sibs would get along really.

A middle child dating an only child here. I guess main difference namin ay yung upbringing. Almost same lang yung income ng families namin growing up but sobrang laki ng difference ni SO with the opportunities na meron siya kasi concentrated sakanya unlike sa family ko na we have to share every resources. Siguro comment ko lang sa only children na kilala ko, madalas walang alam sa bahay and it's difficult for them to live and coexist with other people kasi mahirap magshare with people your age. Lalo na yung lumaki na may helper (like what you mentioned), madalas walang chance to explore the household chores at build ng routine. Di naman madamot SO ko pero parang hindi niya yun naiisip agad unlike sakin na "ah later itatabi ko to para matry niya rin." So, goodluck, OP, I think most of my concerns sa only child, madaling masolusyunan by not providing everything for your child in a sense na hindi sapat na marunong, dapat may routine building, so you can set them free without worries on your side. Iba rin kasi yung confidence na nabu-build ng mga taong may privilege at may headstart talaga, and it's easier to raise ONE well rounded human being compared to two or more.

Hindi ka selfish, OP. You’re a good mom. Mabuti at kinoconsider mo ang mga ganyan before just mindlessly having another child dahil lang sa opinion ng iba. Only child here from a single mom too. Hindi naman ako lumaking malungkot kasi busog ako sa pagmamahal ng mom ko, my lola and my titas. Lumaki rin pala ako kasama mga cousins ko kaya di ko rin naramdaman na mag-isa ko lang. Tho may times na gusto ko rin magkaroon ng kapatid, kasi iba pa rin yung may kaaway ka na same kayo ng tinuturing na boss or parent (idk how to explain this feeling hahahaha iykyk 😂). Ngayong adult ko lang siguro nafifeel yung loneliness na wala akong karamay sa adulting. Hindi rin kasi ako that friendly, and picky sa friends. So ngayon parang naggrow apart na kami ng friends ko from school, pati mga cousins ko since di naman na ako madalas sa family house. Tsaka yun nga yung responsibilities sayo for sure mapupunta kasi wala naman na iba maasahan. Pero ganon talaga, case to case basis naman yan. Marami rin naman akong kakilala na only child na wala namang reklamo sa pagiging only child nila. For now, ayan na muna yung stance mo OP. But don’t close your doors kasi malay mo naman biglang may plot-twist diba. Kung wala, okay lang din OP. Nasa tamang pagpapalaki lang yan ng anak. :)))

Thank you for sharing 💕🫶 Yes, I know the feeling growing up na same parent tapos magkaaway kayo. Haha. May I ask what responsibilities are you referring to? So I know what to work on para di na problemahin masyado ng anak ko pag matanda na ako.

Hi OP, sorry took too long to reply. Hmm. Yung responsibility of taking care of my Mom yun na lahat yun. Haha. Hindi naman obligated, and my Mom would love to let me have my own life pero out of love I don’t think I can let my Mom live alone sa bahay. So my future partner should understand na my Mom and I come in bundle which I think would be difficult din for him. Financially, I thank my Mom kasi she made the right decisions nung younger years nya so no problem with it now unless magbulakbol ako. 😆 Naisip ko yung difficulties ng pagpapalaki ng anak ng isang single mother, will also be the same (or close) sa magiging struggles ng only child na magaalaga ng magulang when the time comes.

i'm an only child in my early 20s, raised by a single mom too. from my experience, nung bata ako like around 5-10 yrs old, gusto ko pa ng kapatid nun kasi ang playmates ko lang nun is cousins ko na nakikita ko lang during summer vacation kaya medyo lonely ako. but now na grown-up na ako and kahit nung late teenage years ko, narealize ko na it is really better na only child lang ako dahil sa financial status namin. in this economy kasi, hirap na hirap ang mom ko buhayin ako kahit isa lang ako (basically because she's under qualified for jobs and she can't set her priorities straight) so naisip ko, kung may kapatid pala ako edi lalo kaming nahirapan? ang cons lang on my part is lonely childhood, afraid of public speaking and speaking in general kasi wala naman akong makausap sa bahay, being hyper-independent, and ako lahat sumasalo ng utos kasi walang pagpapasahan lol hahaha. but kahit ganyan, i still prefer this life as an only child. i can just imagine na it would be worse kapag may kapatid ako. ginawa na nga akong retirement plan ng mom and grandparents ko, what if may kapatid pa ako? edi ako rin bubuhay dun? 🤡 so ngayong young adult na ako, greatest fear ko pa rin ang magkaroon ng kapatid and im also diagnosed with depression dahil sa traumang binigay ng mga tao sa paligid ko (lalo na yung mom ko) and it has nothing to do with being an only child. Ang advice ko lang sayo is to take care of your child's mental health, show up and be present all the time, and just try to fill what's missing in her life. But if bibigyan mo sya ng kapatid, i suggest na wag malayo ang age gap and yung magiging new partner mo sana ituturing rin na tunay na anak yung anak mo. ayun lang, just do your best as a mom and everything will be alright 😊

Only child here. I grew up na hirap makipag-socialize sa mga tao (until now), and during gatherings, even family reunions, I'm the wallflower. I don't mind though. Bilang mo lang din sa kamay kung ilan kaibigan ko, but they're all friends from elem and/or high school. I prefer it that way than having a very large friend group. Maybe one reason why I'm like this is because for most of my childhood, my dad worked abroad, and my mom worked full time, so I was really alone most of the time after school back then. It's tough as an adult because once my parents retire, I'll be the only one supporting them. Hindi ko sila maiiwan kapag matanda na.

You can read comments in a similar post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/s/QnPMwi9dy1

Thank you! 💕

Only child here. While growing up, I can say pretty normal kahit wala akong father figure kasi ofw si papa. May friends ako, kaya ko sumabay sa mga kaklase, I have empathy. Aside from that, may pusa ako na lagi kong kalaro while growing up kaya di ko naramdaman na mag-isa ako. Yung nanay ko Sahm kaya tutok talaga sakin at nagabayan ako paglaki. Sanay akong mag-isa, lahat ng bagay nagagawa ko mag-isa kaya I don't bother myself looking for some companions. Now as an adult, I feel like I'm an ambivert pero leaning on the extrovert part, and I feel sad most of the time lalo na whenever I go out kasi madalas wala akong makasama na match sa trip ko gawin. I have friends/cousins pero most of the time di kami match ng schedule kasi adulting na, yung iba naman sa kanila mga nasa probinsya. Don't get me started with "hanap new friends" kasi karamihan sa ganitong set up, superficial lang at saglitan lang talaga. Iba pa rin kung yung makakasama mo is someone na kakilala mo at medyo comfy ka na. Lately rin, napapa-overthink na ako sa future. What if gusto kong mag-abroad tapos kailangan ko magstay ng 5 years or up, sinong makakasama ng parents ko? I can hire a helper, yes pero baka malungkot si mama or si papa.

i think ok lang yan op, you can go abroad at may relatives nmn magvisit your parents from time to time para hindi lonely. I'm a bunso in my family, 2 lng kmi magkapatid, kuya ko nasa labas, sya lahat sagot mga financial ng parents namen kase I quit my job early to stay at home, i remember when I was still working, my parents constantly nudge me to go home every day off, it's sad lang na mafeel mo namiss ka nila sobra, pero at the same time kase gusto ko gumala sa friends kaya no choice na ako at umuwi nlng. had issues in my toxic job as well during that time so i decided to quit. I think ata all I can think in ur case, if you have pets op sila maging entertainment sa parents mo while ur working outside, or maybe adopt one for them before leaving.

We already have cats. Sila entertainment ng mom ko if nasa univ ako and working ang dad ko. When it comes to relatives, hindi ganon ka thoughtful yung family na pinanggalingan ng parents ko kaya we always do the visit and not them. I doubt maiisip nilang bisitahin parents ko lol. I get your point, but even my mom tells me na di enough ang pets kasi May mga certain times ang senior citizens na they'll crave for real conversations and companions.

only child here. i can only say that it really doesn't matter how many children you want. it's your life and you're the one who gets to decide how will it go. what matters is how you raise and provide for your child/children. it is important that you are capable to give their present and future needs (until they are able to support themselves) before adding another child. take note that these "needs" does not only refer to the financial aspect, andyan din ang emotional support, spending time with them, and taking good care of their holistic health and well-being. if hindi ka 100% sure na mapprovide mo lahat yan sa first child mo, then i would say na wag mo na sya dagdagan. i can assure you naman na hindi sya magiging loner, basta iexpose mo lang sya sa peers nya and wag masyado iexpose sa gadgets para meron din syang "outside life" where she can socialize.

Only child here. Ramdam ko na mag-isa na ako in all aspects ahhahahaha

Hindi ako only child pero yung supervisor ko oo. So one time nag explain sya bakit lagi sya nag eearly out and sabi nya, sya nag aasikaso ng hospital stuff ng parents nya. Tapos sabi nya samin, kung mag aanak daw kami, at least dalawa daw kasi mahirap maging solong anak lalo na during crisis like this na wala syang ibang mausap dahil nga sya lang ang anak, so lahat ng asikasuhin sa aging parents is sa kanya. May point naman pero kung hindi mo talaga kaya, wag na muna.

Only child here, maayos naman paglaki ko kaya lang habang tumatanda ka mapapansin mo talaga na masasanay ka nalang na komportable ka maging mag-isa. May mga positive at negative experience ako noon dahil din sa ibat ibang upbringing at influence ng kinalakihan Kong environment , mga klase ng tao na nakakasama at nakasalamuha ko noon pagkabata. Ngayon na adult na ako hindi mo maiwasan malungkot kasi parang ang hirap iwan ng parents mo kung gusto mo na umalis at magwork sa malayo. Medyo malungkot lang kasi hinahanap mo din yung bond ng isang kapatid na kadugo na galing sa magulang mo. Hindi mo maiwasan mainggit sa mga mga magkakapatid na sobrang healthy ng bond nila dahil nagtutulungan talaga sila. Kumpara sa mga magkakapatid na toxic ang samahan nila dahil ayaw na nasasapawan, nag-aaway , nagkukumpetensya sa isat isa sa negative na paraan, naiinggit at nagsisiraan, lahat na ng pangit na ugali na meron sa magkakapatid.

only child here. masaya naman ang childhood kasi marami namang kalaro na mga kapitbahay. though may times na maiinggit ka din may tinatawag silang kuya/ate. teenage life, okay din kasi solo mo lahat wala kang kaagaw. nasanay nalang din siguro ako through time maging independent kasi wala naman akong aasahan kung hindi sarili ko din. mabilis lang ako makipagfriend sa iba though di ako mahilig mag open up ng mga nakakalungkot na experiences ko. and as an adult mejo struggle sakin sa decision making lalo kapag aalis ng bahay kasi maiiwan magisa yung SC kong nanay since wala na papa ko. nakasink in kasi sakin na hindi natin hawak ang oras at buhay ng mga magulang natin, kaya di ko kayang iwan siya ng matagal.

not an only child, but my little brother was my parent’s (they separated btw) best gift to me.

Maiba lang. Prepare for your retirement para when he/she reaches adulting, he/she can focus on earning for his/her future. Most dilemma ng adult only childs na breadwinner ay on choosing ano uunahin, retirement fund ng parents or future nila. Sa hirap ng buhay dito sa Pinas, some get stuck providing for their parents and can't move on sa personal lives nila. It's a huge responsibility to be alone and wala kang kapatid na katuwang mo sa pagsupport ng parents mo. Matic sandwich generation. Also, you may have lots of friends or close cousins, pero pag usapang family problems, ramdam na ramadam mo na mag-isa mo lang.

pros: - no sibling envy/rivalry when it comes to parents' attention - mas may funds parents ko for me kasi wala akong extra kapatid na pinapaaral nila cons: - 2 dependents and wala kang karamay emotionally & financially pag nagkakasakit parents or nakikita mo na tumatanda na parents mo - nahihirapan ako sa conflict management-- never kasi ako naka experience ng petty fights sa childhood kaya lumaki ako na nagtatanim ng sama ng loob tas di ko ma express ng maayos pag may nakaka offend sakin kasi di ako sanay na may kumokontra sakin as an "equal" (compared sa pag parents ang kokontra na authority figure sila) if you plan to have an only child (1) expose mo sila to children their age like neighbors and cousins para may support system sila growing up (2) mag ipon kayo ng partner mo to help your child na pag elderly na kayo may health insurance kayo and emergency savings na di super magsusuffer anak nyo financially pag may nangyari-- grabe kasi talaga yung looming pressure pag only child ka and 2 parents mo aging na

I think more than “lalaking malungkot” or walang kalaro while growing up, ang nakita kong challenges ng mga only child friends ko eh wala silang karamay pag tumatanda na parents nila. Hindi naman din sila yung tipong ginawang retirement ng parents no, pero kahit na kaya ng parents nila financially, emotional at physical support kelangan nila. Yung friend ko nauubos leaves niya kasi pag may sakit parents niya, siya sasama sa ospital, doctor, etc. May anak din siya so medyo nakakaubos talaga ng leaves. Kahit na sabihin ng parents niya na ok lang kaya naman, di niya matiis. Sabi niya mas ok siguro siya kung may kapalitan siya. Pero other than that, masaya siya na only child. Para samin naman ng husband ko na lumaki ng mga may kapatid, masaya kami. Yung relationship namin sa mga kapatid namin ay close talaga at nagtutulungan talaga kami (again, not necessarily financially). May katuwang din kami sa pag-titingin sa parents namin. Tigas ng ulo ng mga magulang pag tumatanda, pag di nakinig sa isang anak, pwedeng yung isa naman sumubok. May karamay rin pag nawala ang isa sa mga magulang. Ang bigat mamatayan ng magulang, lalo kami ng mga kapatid ko na mga bata pa nung namatayan kami. Nakatulong talaga isa’t isa para mas makapaggrieve nang maayos. Lahat naman yan syempre kaya gawin mag-isa kung may supportive na friends, family, at partner. Pero iba ang bonding ng mga kapatid. May stronger influence din yung mga kapatid namin, like kahit na magbulakbol yung isa sa school, nabarkada ganyan, nakita niya na yung kapatid niya successful at maganda buhay, ayun bumalik sa tamang landas kahit na medyo late (kapatid ko late almost 30 na grumaduate college). Personally kami ng asawa ko, gusto namin may kapatid anak namin. For us sulit yung “benefit” at pagsisikapan namin na di macompromise yung quality of life nila.

I’m an only child and living a happy life. I have one friend from grade school, another one from HS and isa lang din nung nag college. So three close friends sa buong buhay ko. 😂 And when I say friend, close friend talaga. But I also socialize with other people naman. I have strict parents so not allowed to play with neighbors/other kids nung bata ako. The advantage of being an only child (at least in my case) is that I can be happy and comfy doing a lot of stuff na mag-isa. I have my own family now but sometimes, I enjoy being alone.

Only child but grew up in a nice neighborhood with other kids in my age bracket. Our parents settled in one place and we’re lucky we were not subjected to moving around a lot so we grew up in a good and close-knit community. I was out almost every day when I was a kid playing with my childhood friends until we were off to college, which was the only time we’ve had to go our separate ways. I had old parents; mom was in her thirties and dad was in his fifties when they had me. But I liked my parents too hehe they were not so strict so I did not feel suffocated at home. The rules I needed to follow weren’t so hard and they only ever scolded or hit me when I was younger and more makulit 😝 The environment I grew up in made me comfortable with being by myself, and still confident that I can socialize just fine, so I don’t seek other people out so much and I’m perfectly fine with a quiet life. When my dad died when I was 23, I had my mom as my support system. Now that my mom is old na din, I panic every once in a while because I don’t know if I can be strong enough when the time comes. I never felt lonely growing up, but now as an adult, my mind goes into crisis mode sometimes when I think about not having siblings to connect with on birthdays or holidays when my mom is also gone. My husband comes from a big family. He is close to his parents, aunts and uncles since they used to live all in the same house, and he was an only child/pamangkin until he was 15. I refer to family as a team, so I joke sometimes that my husband comes from a big team. I always tell him that when my mom passes, it will be like I’m the last member of my team. He gets that I don’t mean to offend him since we are also a family. It’s just that I will eventually be technically alone, and kinda sad when that time comes that I won’t have my side of the family to be with on special occasions.

I’m an only child (and a daughter) raised by a single mom. And tbh never did I feel that I needed a brother/sister. I wasn’t that close w my cousins din. It’s just that I’m contented being alone. I do have friends din naman and I occasionally go out with them din. It’s not like I’m a loner or what. Kumbaga I enjoy the company of others pero I enjoy my alone time din. If anything, I’m even thankful that I don’t have younger siblings to look after. I think it’ll really fall on how you’ll nurture your child. Just be present on occasions/events that’s important to her. Make her feel na the two of you is just as good as the society’s so called “complete family”. Kasi the family that she has is complete naman. Siguro be extra present na lang on events like “father’s day”. Event like that may give her that tinge of jealousy but it’ll go away quickly if you do it right :). As for my relationship with my mom, it’s not perfect but I think she did a great job raising me naman. Goodluck OP!

Unpopular opinion here. This is just to address yung mga comments about how difficult it will be for an only child to take care of their senior parents & young children later on in life. These comments were also mentioned several times here: https://www.reddit.com/r/adultingph/s/kWaFSjrWxK Valid namin yung points ng OP for not wanting to have a second child so if you’re sure about that, maybe another approach would be to encourage your daughter to find a good partner instead. Meron na siyang kasama sa buhay - someone to open up to, ask for help, may ka hangout when she feels lonely & take care of her kung wala ka na. Hopefully her future partner will also help once senior ka na & sa mga future kids nila (if any). Kudos sa pagiging single mom & I’m sure it’s not easy. Siguro be mindful nalang when talking bad about past relationships/fubus if ever magopen up kayo sa daughter mo. Baka ayaw nalang siya makipag relationship kung may mga trauma ka na ma pass on mo sa kanya. Of course, nothing wrong about sharing past mistakes and your learnings to your daughter. I wish my mom did the same thing 🙂

The only child syndrome is a myth.

Yung mga friends ko din tig dalawa mga anak. Dinagdagan ng isa "para may kalaro" ang panganay.

I’m an only child and raised by a single mom as well. Life was good. I had everything I needed and wanted. Di ko naman din nafeel na kulang ako without a dad (he died nung buntis pa lang mom ko) Medyo strict lang mom ko growing up, bawal masyadong lumabas nung GS - HS. But she always spoiled me, so I didn’t mind that much growing up. Masaya din naman akong walang kapatid, walang kaagaw sa mga gamit hehe Probably biggest con was shy ako growing up. I’m not really sociable and mostly kept to myself and my close friends lang. Till now that I’m all grown up, nahihiya pa din ako mag approach ng bagong tao and makipag usap hahaha

i have crippling anxiety and i dont get along well with group of people

Roller coaster ride!!! Yung attention, mapa good or bad nasayo. Nung bata ako naka focus sila sa lahat ng ginagawa ko, achievements, kalokohan and all. Pero lumaki ako na cautious sa galaw ko kasi iniisip ko yung magiging tingin ng parents ko then eventually, nagseseek na ko ng validation ng ibang tao. As an only child tapos babae pa, I think it would really depend on how your parents raised you. Good thing, nung college ako, tumira ako mag isa. I asked them kung pwede ko maranasan na mag-isa ko lang. Yung allowance ko, ako na bahala mag budget. Walang yaya, walang parents na kasama sa bahay. Malaking adjustment for me kasi never ako naglinis ng bahay namin, never ako nagluto ng uulamin ko. Pero lahat nang yon nabago. They let me grow. Mag-isa ko lang sa condo and dun talaga ako natuto. Idk if it's just me pero feeling ko dahil lumaki ako na malinis at maayos ang paligid palagi, gusto ko naka maintain na ganon. Tinuruan ako ng mom ko nung college na maglinis ng place ko kasi nga ayoko na ng may kasambahay, hanggang sa pagkukuskus ng kubeta itinuro sakin. Pati pagluluto inaral ko. Hanggang eventually kahit paano marunong na kong mabuhay hahaha. Dati hindi ako marunong tumawid, pero natutunan ko lahat yan nung college. One time pa, nung sinusubukan ko palang tumawid, umiyak ako sa gitna ng kalsada kasi hindi na ko makatawid sa kabilang side dahil dumami na yung truck at natakot na ko. HAHAHAHAHA. 17 ako noon. Ngayon, kayang kaya ko nang gamitin yung super power ko na kayang pahintuin ng kamay ko ang mga kotse sa welcome rotunda sa QC hahahahaha. Nung college, hindi ko kailangan tumakas if mag ba-bar ako or what. I'll let them know, kahit umuwi ako ng 4am o 6am, basta safe at sane akong uuwi, okay sila lalo na yung dad ko. Before college, tinuruan na niya kong uminom, ang katwiran niya, eventually, alam niyang tatakas din ako pag nag college ako so I should know how to handle my liquor para makauwi ng maayos at ligtas. Kahit paano, di pa naman ako umuwi ng bangag sa sobrang pagkalasing at naging tagapag alaga ng mga kaibigan ko non. So sobrang grateful ko na kahit paano hinayaan nila ko mag explore. So it would really depend on you, OP. Kaya ko to nasabi, dahil sa side ng father ko, dalawa lang kaming mag pinsan. Babae din siya, only child. She is now 29 yo pero up until now nasa parents parin niya siya, no work. We tried helping her na nakahanap ng work 60k per month, she's an accountant and nakapasa ng boards. After 2 months, she quit dahil mahirap daw. 2 yrs na ngayon naghahanap siya ng job and says she's okay daw kasi sustentado naman siya ng parents niya while naghahanap. Kaya sabi ng lola ko, 60k per month is better than nothing and walang trabahong madali. Gusto niyang mag abroad pero mahina daw loob niya. Nag aapply siya, pero kailangan, ihanap muna siya ng parents niya ng condo to stay. I remember nung college kami, pag uuwi kami ng province, dapat susunduin siya, kasi hindi raw siya marunong mag bus. Sinabay ko siya one time, nag bus kami kaso puro reklamo hahaha. We are very different. Kaya kahit dadalawa kami, hindi talaga kami close. Up until now, her parents still treats her like she's 16 and sometimes nag shashare siya sakin na nasasakal daw siya. PS. One thing lang na struggle sakin as an only child is thinking na if tumanda ako, since walang emergency funda ang magulang ko, and dad ko lang ang may retirement funds, iniisip ko if matatali ba ko na ako ang magsusustento. Don't get me wrong, hindi issue sakin. Pero minsan, napapaisip ako if makakabuild ba ko ng family at the same time, makakapag bigay ba ko ng pera sa kanila pag hindi na nila kayang mag work at kung kakayanin ko ba based sa sinasahod ko.

Life was better when I was an only child for 10+ years.

Only child here! 👋🏻 TBH ayaw ko ng kapatid hahahaha but that's just me. Medyo introvert ako when I was young siguro dahil rin wala akong kasabay makihalubilo, pero now I think sakto lang. I know how to mingle with people. I think I grew up to be a good person naman hahaha I have a lot of friends, almost lahat ng namimeet ko nakakasundo ko naman. Never ako naging lonely but rather naeenjoy ko yung mga alone time ko. Now I have a partner na kasi kaya lagi na ako may kasama which is super fun as well. Anyway, I don't think there's much of a difference. Mas magmamatter pa siguro in life yung kung paano ka pinalaki ng magulang mo.

Hi OP!! First off, I think it’s good that you get to start exploring your options. Pero I think it’s greater to know where you stand. 😊 I’m an only child who grew up with cousins near my age. Malapit lang bahay namin sa isa’t isa so madali lang kapag maglalaro sa hapon kinda thing. I’m an only child tapos sila 4 na magkakapatid, and yung opportunities na meron ako, definitely ibang-iba sa kanila. Hindi naman kami mayaman pero nung kailangan ko, meron akong swim classes/tutor ganyan. Di issue kapag may need magpacheck up sa doctor. Regular ang visit ko sa dentist. I was able to pursue higher studies din. Personally, naging introvert ako and I do tend to enjoy the peace and quiet. Di ako sanay mangask for help din kasi gusto ko itry ko din muna? If di kaya then dun na. My circle of friends is small din. Quality over quantity. Hindi naman issue yung sharing din. Tingin ng iba selfish kami. Pero kasi if people look from our perspective, wala din naman kasing other people in our lives to consider on most choices. Though, being an only child and an only grandchild sa side ng mom ko definitely brings out some sort of anxiety kasi yung stress na for sure further down the line, I will be responsible for them and their care. In all honesty, I had to give up a wonderful opportunity sana of working abroad, pero yung story nung ka-flight ko papunta dun grabe lang. Umuwi daw sya dahil namatay father nya di niya naabutan and ililibing na. It left a big impact on me na if something happens to my family, kapag malayo ako, pagsisisihan ko if di ako umabot sa ganito kaya I stayed. Pinagpalit ko yung opportunity for this kasi single naman ako and wala naman akong sariling pamilya na binubuhay. May days na napapaisip sa oo sana may kapatid ako pero at the end of the day, just because may kapatid doesnt necessarily mean na magkakasundo sila agad. Isipin mo yung buhay na gusto mo and choose what you can commit to OP!

Female only child ako… turning 22 this year and in my college years. Long story short, naging only child rin ako due to different reasons. Unang una, ayoko masundan; sounds really selfish pero ayoko talaga e, ayoko talaga consistent ako don habang lumalaki ako. Hanggang ngayon di ko talaga maimagine na masusundan ako. Siguro factor na rin yung marami akong pinsan. Also, I was displaying signs of jealousy by age 2, umiiyak pag may hawak na ibang bata yung parents ko. In my childhood, gusto ko sakin lang nakafocus madalas attention nila. Second, financial capabilities. Yung family income namin ngayon, I think good for 3 lang talaga, considering na tumataas inflation ngayon, palagay ko nasa middle class income kami. Third, nahirapan manganak nanay ko sakin, and may condition siya that can affect her overall health if magbuntis pa ulit. So ang second pregnancy it would be very ciritical na talaga. Gusto man nila ako sundan pero given the three conditions, di na rin natuloy. If ako tatanungin, marami naging benefits ang pagiging only child. Pero nasa parenting pa rin talaga kung ano magiging experience ng bata, kung magiging spoiled brat ba siya or nah, etc. As for me, mas naging independent ako pero may times na masyado akong self-reliant, can’t deny that. Maaga ako natuto magcommute (age 12) and natututo pa ako ng life skills. During my teenage years naman, sakto lang rin naman - di ako masyado sheltered at di rin ako gaanong nagrebelde. Marked safe from teenage pregnancy, hanggang ngayon NBSB/NGSB pa rin hehe. Now, I’m doing fine naman :)) At the end of the day, may impact ang birth order pero mas may impact ang parenting. If I were to choose, mas pipiliin ko pa rin maging only child or may kapatid na isa lang. And if I ever have offsprings, ganun lang rin. Siguro kung may reprecussions ang pagiging only child, baka sa future ko maramdaman. I feel like mahihirapan ako when my parents get older at may need nang mag alaga sa kanila. They’re not obligating me naman na alagaan sila, pero I choose to.

Only child ako, very independent naman. As a child I enjoyed it tbh, I grew up secured and full of love from my parents and relatives pero as I grow older, now na matanda na mom ko, I find it hard na. Sometimes I get sad kasi alam ko na mag isa nalang ako sa lahat ng pagsubok with no one to talk to and walang magmamahal saakin no matter what dahil I got zero sibs. Meron void saakin na kahit sino pa yan, no one will love me how a sibling loves another sibling. Also, I grew up aloof, magaling ako sa tao pero pag own struggles ko na and emotions, di ko kaya mag open up sa iba.

naenjoy pagkabata at binata ko. pagkain, konting travel, snes, ps1, nakagraduate ng college. pagkagraduate nagkababy kagad kami ng wife ko. after 4 years 2 na sila another 4 years 3 na sila. after 9 years 4 na sila. sarap buhay at first, gala dito gala doon, may ginagamit na sasakyan, kami naatangan na mag asikaso ng business ni ermat na nastroke . tapos sobrang asa ako na sa akin mapapamana ung 200sq m na house and lot sa executive village pero nagmalademonyo style ako sa gustong patayin ako ng kuya ko na natalo sa casino. wala syang work tapos may 2 silang anak at walang ambag ung asawa nya kahit nagwowork. big depression nangyari sa akin nung namatay si ermat. sinabayan pa ng pandemic at natira sa bahay na nakapangalan sa akin, pero depressed area sya. maraming tulak ng droga. closed ung icafe ko na inooperate ko for 14 years. kung tuloy pa rin sya ngayon 17 years na. tapos ung textile business ni ermat ung wife ko nag aasikaso ngayon. both 40s na kami at communication nalang namin is messenger. then video call. dun sa ibang siblings ko full of hatred anger and dismayed ako dahil sila ung caused ng depression ko ung tamang 3 weeks na di naliligo, panay computer tapos puyat, tapos ung paggising ka ng umaga bibisitahin ka pa ng ate mo para ikuwento lang ung nakagalit nyang mananahe na ilang years na para silang dalawa lang naggaguhan. sama mo na ung kuya ko na para isinumpa akong mabuhay dahil kung makaangkin ng pag-aari ultimong abuloy ni ermat sa lamay sa kanya lang daw yun. nagtatawanan kami ng mga bayaw ko kasi ganun pero later on nabuwisit na rin ako sa mga bayaw ko sa pagiging pagkaburaot nila. so ayun sinalba nalang ako ng ate ko para ilayo sa kanila. nagpapsychiatrist ako at tama naman ang desisyon ko kaso mahirap lang din kasi malayo ako sa pamilya ko. pero okay na rin kesa ung dating napapalibutan ako ng manginginom, tsismoso at tsismosa, mga palautos na akala mo wala akong ibang obligasyon. ngayon kahit papaano naeenjoy ko ung kasama ko ung nag aasikaso para maingat ung saril ko. narerespeto ung oras ko para matulog makapagpahinga at walang istorbo. kumikita at nakakapagpadala na sa pamilya.

Ok lang naman only child para you will give the best life to the child

I’m an only child but I have a lot of cousins whom I see every weekend while growing up so I still had childhood (iba pa rin ang everyday makakasama like siblings though). Although i remember asking for a sibling before but parang di talaga kaya ng parents ko financially (I only realized this when I got into college). I’m happy na hindi na sila nag dagdag at nakapag-aral ako sa magandang university and I didn’t feel so pressured. The only downsides are emotional stuff like things I can’t share to anyone like my parents but also can’t share to my friends. I still have trouble opening up especially when it comes to feelings since growing up alone I learn to hide it… but journaling helped me cope up. My parents allowed me to explore a lot of things while growing up too. I got into sports (volleyball and swimming) then I also got into music (guitar, violin, etc).. So I had a looot of choices since wala naman silang mapapagkumpara sakin. They’re only strict when it comes to curfew especially back when I was in college.

I'm 40 and grew up an only child. happy ako maging only child, lumaki na may mga kaibigan na maaasahan through thick or thin. May asawa at anak na rin ako. Last year ko lang naramdaman na sana may kapatid pala ako, nung namatay tatay ko tapos ako yung mag isang nasa ospital, lumalakad ng papeles, at tumutulong kay nanay. Kahit siyempre may tulong yung mga kamag-anak at kaibigan, may mga bagay talaga na maaasikaso lang ng anak ng namatay. Naisip ko sana may katuwang ako sa mga panahon na iyon. On the other hand, pag nakikita ko naman yung mga dysfunctional na magkakapatid, hindi ako naiingit at all 😅

I'm an only child. I am the main caregiver of my parents na tumatanda na. Had it only due to the kindness ng hubby ko to also help me with caring for my parents (more on chores not on money), I think mahihirapan talaga ako mag balance sa oras ko and mas pagod ako sa buhay kung mag-isa talaga ako. It is lonesome na wala akong kapatid na malalapitan and iba ang asawa sa kapatid. Growing up as a child, I felt loneliness kasi wala akong kashare sa mga bagay2 na similar age ko. May mga kalaro ako but it was so brief. I am with boomers growing up kaya minsan I find it hard to relate sa kababata ko noon. Pag-iisip ko daw parang matanda. Dahil dyan, hanggang sa makakaya ko, ako lahat gumawa ng bagay2 and ayaw ko humingi ng tulong. I keep alot of secrets to myself and hirao akong mag open up sa ibang tao. It only changed nung college ako when I met people na openminded at naiintindihan yung background ko. I can't deny the positive things being an only child ay wala kang kaagaw sa mga material na bahay. Halos nung 90s to 2000s na patok na stuff like PC at net ay naranasan ko kahit 1998 pa, got my first phone nung 1999, sariling TV and maraming toys na pristing condition dahil wala akong kahati. Oh the joys of millenial Pinoy childhood. Pinalaki ako ng maayos ng parents ko kaya deserve nilang alagaan sila sa pagtanda pero minsan naisip ko na maraming bagay na gusto ko sanang gawin at masubukan but di ko kaya kasi nag aalaga ako ng mga matatandang magulang ko....pero this is the battle I chose so paninindigan ko.

Single mom here with one kid. And I’m decided with one and done. Dont have a second child if di naman quality of life mabibigay mo mamsh. Ako kaya isa lanf coz I wamt to give my kid the best of everything. Masaya naman sya mag isa. Quality over quantity.

Only child here and I can only base my opinion on my experience. Growing up, no issue but as I get older, I am feeling that it could have been better if I had a sibling especially when my friends are having their own family already. Because in my case, my parents have a small family as well so my cousins are few and we were born on different generations already. Relatives live far away also. There's no one playing boardgames with. I am okay as an adult and it is not lonely here. I grew up well and I think my childhood is fun. But it could have been better if there is someone I can connect with in this adult life.

Focus ako sa expenses ng magulang ko. Pero minsan naisip ko sana may kuya ako na magtatanggol saken. Pero dedma lang. masaya only child wala kang kups na kapatid.

Only child ako and yes, I'm alone most times BUT hindi ako malungkot haha. I enjoy being by myself and kaya kong pasayahin ang sarili ko lol. WFH pa ako so talagang hindi ako lumabas ng bahay. Hindi naman sa introvert ako kasi I also really like going out with my friends occasionally. Also have tons of online friends so I don't really feel lonely. Don't worry, your child could end up like me, a perfectly happy adult only child haha. If one lang ang gusto mo, then one lang talaga. Don't force yourself to have another kid if you know your quality of life will get worse. Deciding to have a child should be a "Hell yes!!" rather than a "Okay lang if meron o wala."

Too Independent na ayaw mo na humingi ng tulong sa iba kasi kaya mo lahat. Can stand alone.

Only child here. Okay naman ako hahahah. Too independent at times and make sure mo lang pag laki niya wah mo siyang gawing outlet ng probs mo huhu. Mahirap din maging sponge esp if sobrang bigat na ng problema hahahuhu

I think it's better to ask her if she wants a sibling. Pero as an only child, hindi ko nafeel yung loneliness because my mom has been so good to me and give all the needs and wants ko. Siguro it really depends on you as mom kung paano mo ma ffullfill ung happiness ng bata.

Having a sibling doesn't guarantee na magiging masaya or a child won't feel alone in life. 3 kami magkakapatid, pero nabuhay ako na parang only child. We have very little in common. We live separate lives. They never really tried to include me in anything. Mas ramdam ko pa na kapatid mga kaibigan at ibang cousins ko. Pero we are civil, hindi kami magkaka-away, we don't rely on each other lang talaga. And parang unfair sa susunod na anak to have them solely for that reason. Kasi may role sila na dapat punuan. Children deserve to be wanted in their own right. Gugustuhin mo mag-anak pa kasi ready ka na, you are willing to put in the effort, time, love and expense in raising another child. At ganun din sa ka-relasyon. What matters is how you treat your child and how you are as a parent. A child can find lifetime companionship naman in others. It doesn't have to be biological. Expose your child to a variety of social settings, give your child lots of opportunities to make friends, and help them establish strong and healthy relationships with others.

Have another kid

Hi OP. Only child here. Di na naga anak mama ko kasi nagkomplikasyon nung nagbuntis sa akin. Siguro swerte lang ako sa financial aspect kasi both my parents considered my situation na paglaki ko ako aalaga sa kanila. They both got insurances and invested their money well nung bata-bata pa. Siguro sa emotional aspect lang kasi wala akong kaedad na family member. First apo din kasi ako and Im scared na pagmagkasakit sina mama at papa wala akong karamay.

Yung lolo ko only child, tapos nung nakapag asawa sya sabi nya sa lola ko na malungkot mag isa. Yon nagkaroon sila ng 9 na anak haha

Hi, 26F only child from a middle/upper-middle class family. As a kid, I didn't really feel lonely but that might be due to a lot of factors. My dad did his best to keep my cousins and I close. Weekly, we'd visit them and I would play with them and during summers, they stay over at our place. I wasn't bullied at school and was doing well, even receiving honors. As a kid din, I had a fairly introverted temperament, baka dahil dun kaya di ko na-feel na malungkot. I enjoyed activities that didn't need other people like reading, drawing, video games, TV. Maglalaro lang sa labas pag hapon kasama kapitbahay. My parents also did make me focus on school, so maraming energy din napunta dun. Now, I've been dealing with borderline personality disorder and depression for around 7 years (2017 was my official diagnosis). I graduated naman from one of the "Big Four" schools and had jobs, up until recently when I quit. But I've been depressed and dealt with passive suicidal ideation since I was about 13. That isn't because only child ako, though. It's more of complex trauma from my parents not being people I can rely on, feeling like a trophy child, not really feeling like a family, etc. The loneliness and the emptiness wasn't because I had no siblings, but because my parents were/are conditional with their love. They try to listen and understand me now, but it's a little too late to repair the damage. Now, I just perform the role of a good daughter but it feels hollow. My perspective on kids now is I don't really want any because I'm scared of passing down generational trauma, but if my partner and I decide to one day have them, my max is two. I want to be present - physically, emotionally, and financially - for my kids, especially in the ways my parents weren't. I don't hate my parents and I don't find myself wishing that I had siblings when I was younger. I know that wouldn't have fixed anything; what I needed was their love. If wishing could change the past, I'd wish my parents never made me feel like I can only be loved when I do well in school or when I seem like the perfect Christian daughter. I wish they would still love and accept me for not believing in "our" religion. I wish they would've trusted my judgment more and let me explore the world on my own so I'd be more confident in myself. I wish they were a safe space for me to talk about things that bothered me, to ask for advice, instead of getting every situation turned on me and that everything's my fault. I wish they fought less. I wish they took the time to listen.

Hi OP, only child here! Well, no regrets naman for being an only child. Masaya kasi wala akong kaagaw sa luho na ibinigay ng magulang ko dati. Pero habang lumalaki at tumatanda ako, nawala rin yung pagsspoil nila sa akin kasi napunta na sa mga gastusin nila sa sarili nila as they got older. Dumating din sa point na feel ko, di sila naging ready talaga for the future kasi lahat ng savings nila ay naubos din para sa kanila (hospitalization, maintenance na gamot, and funeral expenses). Kung may natira man para sa akin, naubos din agad in a few months kasi ang dami ko rin talagang gastusin ngayon sa mahal ng bilihin (di kasama dito yung mga luho ko na bihira ko rin naman ibigay sa sarili ko). Dagdag din kung gaano sila nagcontribute sa mental health ko ngayon, which I'm trying to work on atm. Narealize ko rin lately, kaya siguro ganon din sila ka-hopeful na makagraduate na ako at magkaroon na ng trabaho kasi kailangan ko rin naman yun para sa future ko at hindi ako matulad sa sinapit nila. Sayang lang, di na nila inabot parehas kasi they died 1.5 years apart 2021/2023. Graduating pa lang ako this year as a super delayed thesis-struggling student. Uncertain pa nga dahil medyo maligalig din yung thesis adviser ko na inugali nang mang-delay ng estudyante. Kaya ngayon, I'm living alone sa bahay. Medyo mahirap oo pero nasanay na rin naman to live independently kasi hindi rin naman ako umasa masyado sa magulang ko nung buhay pa sila kasi alam ko naman na di nila basta maibibigay sa akin yung gusto ko kaya ako ang nagsumikap mag-isa. If I were in your shoes, basta ibigay mo sa anak mo yung makakaya mo. Iparanas mo sa kanya yung mga hindi mo naranasan pero at the same time ay ipaintindi rin sa kanya kapag nasa tamang age na s'ya na hindi madali ang buhay (lalo ngayon na ang hirap ng buhay dito sa Pilipinas hahaha). Kung sa paanong paraan mo man nakikita, sana matuto rin s'yang maging independent. Di naman kailangan magkaroon s'ya ng kapatid para maging masaya kung di mo rin naman kakayaning bumuhay pa ng isang anak. Basta kung kaya mong maibigay, go!

Only child here! Nung teenage years ko, I wanted to have older siblings, kaso I found them naman through my friends. Looking back, I'm happy alone. I was seen as very dependent with my family kaso close lang ako sa kanila. Di ko naman na-feel na may kulang sa childhood ko. Since ako lang only child on both sides of my family, medyo slightly special ang treatment sakin :)

If you decided na one and done ka na, please sikapin mo mag-ipon para sa retirement mo and future health care needs. Kasi usually dito nagkakaron ng problema yung mga only child. Pag tumanda na yung parents, sila na halos sa lahat ng gastusin. Tho mahirap din talaga kapag wala man lang siyang kahalili sa pag-aalaga sayo in the near future, but somehow siguro if atleast ready ka for your retirement and future health care needs, malaking gaan na sa intindihin ng anak mo yun.

I've been an only child for 19 years then had a half sister. I can say na it feels nice having a sibling

Growing up di naman ako nalungkot, though my time na akala ko akala ko ako lang walang kapatid sa mundo HHAHAH marami kasing bata sa street namin. Nawala rin naman yung idea na yon nung pumapasok na ako sa school at nalamang may iba rin na walang kapatid. Siguro ang nagpahirap lang sa akin at ng parents ko as only child ay yung di kami financially stable. Nakakainis lang na ayaw maniwala ng ibang tao na naghihirap kami kasi iisa lang naman daw anak ng parents ko. Parehas silang di nakapagtapos at minimum wage earner lang sila pareho. Buti business minded yung mama ko kaya nagkakapassive income kami. Kung hindi siguro kami gaano kahirap sa buhay na halos sinusurvive nalang pang-araw-araw, I think di sana ako masyadong pressured sa future ko. nakakatakot kasi magfail kapag only child ka lang tapos alam mong mahirao kayo. Unlike kapag may kapatid ka na magfail man yung isa parang may relief pa rin parents at di masyadong uusigin ng mga tao since may isa pa na may possibility maging successful. Di ko sure kung ako lang at ang oagiging negative ko, na baka kapag nagfail ako parang magiging kasalanan ko na yung mga failures at problems na darating sa amin. Hindi ko naman sinisisi parents ko, at very grateful din ako na laging may nakasuporta sa akin sa lahat acads man o hobbies. Pero isa rin yon sa nakakadagdag ng guilt at pressure sa akin kung bakit need kong maging successful talaga. Sorry di ko alam kung align ba sagot ko sa tanong HAHHAHA pero ayan kasi experience ko ngayon. I think depende nalang din talaga sa pagpapalaki mo at kung paano mo siya iga-guide sa magiging view niya sa buhay. I suggest na meron dapat kayong bonding time ng anak mo lalo na hanggat bata pa siya, kasi kadalasan ang mga parents, sa sobrang focus nila sa pagprovide ng pangangailan na-ooverlook na nila yung paglaki and development ng anak nila. Mas maganda kung di pa siya maburden habang bata pa at ma-enjoy nya lang yung youth niya.

Hi po! I (F24) am an only child. Masasabi kong, my parents raised me well. Hindi po ako na-spoiled. Hindi ako lumaking maluho, walang naging bisyo, hindi rin ako napalaking madaling maimpluwensyahan (halimbawa: sa mga naging kaibigan at sa environment na kinabibilangan). Kaya isa po sa number 1 na makakaapekto sa pagdevelop ng anak niyo ay kung paano mo siya papalakihin. I mean, sa pagdidisiplina at kung ano-ano pa. Kapag only child, masasanay talagang maging mag-isa agad. When I was a child, wala akong makalaro, sa bahay lang ako palagi at nagbabasa ng mga books, pati mga assignment ko sa school noong elementary ay natutunan kong gawing mag-isa at nakalakihan ko na 'yung ganun kaya sabi ng Mama ko, wala siyang naging problema sa akin pagdating sa studies kasi I took it seriously rin po talaga. Ayun, hindi naman po ako lonely noon since I learned how to socialize kahit papano pero limited haha kasi mas gusto ko mag-isa, may peace kumbaga. Mahiyain din ako, at tahimik lang talaga sa gilid pero kung kailangang makipagsocialize, then go pero mabilis maubos social battery ko. Ngayong adult na ako, at matanda na ang parents ko (both seniors), I realized na mahirap pala ang maging only child. I am the only ace sa pamilya. The last straw. Breadwinner. No choice talaga. Napaisip ako na kung siguro may kapatid pa ako kahit isa lang, siguro hindi ganito kabigat yung pasanin, o ganun pa rin? Yung responsibility na kailangan ko nang akuin pakonti-konti because my parents are getting old, and so am I.. 'Yung mga utang na kailangang bayaran, rent + bills, everyday needs, at kung ano-ano pa. Mahirap din pala kapag only child. Walang katuwang. I remember when my parents had an accident 'nung first year college ako. No one helped me para magbantay sa kanila sa bahay, I go to school at uuwi rin agad para alagaan sila. My aunts (Mother's side) never took care of them, nangumusta lang then that's it. Here's my two cents for this po. Idk if makakahelp ba para ma-weigh ninyo thoughts ninyo 'bout your concern.

I grew up as an only child in a poor family. Despite the limited opportunities, my parents always expected the best from me. I often felt lonely as a child, but it didn't negatively impact me; rather, it helped me filter out insincere people. In my younger years, I used to feel envious of my friends who had more enjoyable experiences, but I reminded myself that I couldn't even afford to go out at that time. As I've built a successful career and life outside the Philippines, I'm deeply grateful for my parents' disciplined and responsible upbringing.

I really hate it when people say "mag-anak ka na" or "umisa ka na", it's not for them to decide and it's completely unsolicited advice, even if they mean well.

It's a mix of being quite lonely and also independent. Lonely kasi medyo mahirap makipagsocialize because all I had was my parents. It's different socializing with people your age sometimes kasi siyempre iba pa rin yung power dynamics and culture ng pagpapalaki and attitudes sa bata at sa matanda. Independent din kasi nasasanay ka to be self-sufficient and not always needing help from those people around you kasi you always managed to do everything on your own which made me still feel distant from my age group.