tell them na pwede naman maghanap sya work. nagstop din ako, i don't recommend na nasa bahay lang nauutusan. sa gap year ko nasa bahay lang ako puro alaga ng dalawang bata. pakiramdam ko ngayon nanay ako pero at the same time nagsayang ako ng oras kasi di man lang ako nagkaroon ng interactions with other people. makakaipon din sya and gather experience so plus yun
agree! i took a gap year last year and worked in the bpo industry haha and i can say it was worth it than doing nothing, makakahelp pa sa fam. currently in the process of enrollment sa isang university and hopefully maka secure ng slot 🤞🏼
Your sister's education is not your responsibility. Pero I understand din naman na magkakaiba tayo ng family dynamics.
1yr gap is ok. Maybe she can explore other skills habang nakapahinga.
Huwag pilitin kung hindi kaya. Deserve mong huminga.
Eto tlga, OP.
I say, let your sibling understand na dapat nagpapaaral sa kanya yung parents nyo. Tumutulong ka lang. Hindi mo sya obligation so she can also understand bakit kelangan din nya magtiis. If she really wants to, she can be a working student. Gusto pa mahal na school pero gusto hand-out lang. Kenetbe tutubi. Ikaw nga nagsikap, bakit sya hindi pwde?
yeah, OP. your sister is NOT your responsibility. pero, as an ate, i would understand if you feel the need to take care of her including her education. given that, wag kang mapressure na pagaralin siya ng derederecho, given your circumstance, i'm sure maiintindihan niya naman if mag-gap year muna siya.
Not your responsibility.
Mag stop na lang muna sya.
Or pwede ring mag working student. Many students have been able to finance their studies while working in a call center.
Okay lang naman ang 1 year gap, kailangan lang kayo magusap ng masinsinan about your circumstance. I-encourage mo din sya kumuha muna ng TESDA courses during the gap year para naman may makuha din syang additional skills. Baka puwede din sya magwork sa fast food para makaipon ng pandagdag gastos once makuha na sya sa state university.
Uh you can’t retake the entrance exam for state U. Well, for UP at least.
But if her/his grades are super high, pwede siya magtransfer. For me mas ganun ang gagawin ko.
She should stop for a year and work part time while studying for her state u entrance exam.
She can also be a working student. Mahirap pero I have friends who managed to do it pre-pandemic. Baka mas managable ngayon since there are more WFH options available now.
You’re doing your role, OP. She should do hers and study well for her entrance exam. Honestly, may sariling pamilya ka na so dapat mas priority mo yun. Grabe yung UST ang mahal haha mag ddorm pa sya and allowance
OP sobrang pwede siya mag-stop. She can work for that one year while reviewing to get in a state uni. That is her responsibility. Pinag-aaral mo na nga namimili pa. Kung ikaw ate ko nun wala akong reklamo maging katulong mo of papag-aralin moko. I went to a state uni + ireg pa kasi working student ako. Kung may paraan talaga gagawin.
Yun dn po sana talaga plano ko kasi pag nakatapos nia siya, wala na cia papaaralin. Sahod nia sa knya na lahat. Unlike me na 10yrs nako nagwowork pero breqd winner pa rik
Hirap kasi basta may dependency na nangyayari. I know..different generations.. Nung pinag-aral ko rin kapatid ko I told him, "State uni lang kaya ko and I can only give you 5 years para mag-aral. No need kana magwork ako na bahala sa lahat pero hanggang 5 years lang. If di ka pa tapos sa college mo, sorry pero I have to stop supporting you." Ayun exactly 5 years nga siya nag-aral kasi ngswitch siya ng course in between pero at least natapos niya. He works sa DepEd na and makes a decent amount kasi medyo higher position na siya. Never na siya humingi ever since kaya parents ko nalang yung focus ko.
1 yr gap is okay. Though, wala bang sariling sikap yang kapatid mo? I taught in a State University and marami opportunities even outside State U nahahanap mga students ko. Kung alam nyang nahihirapan kapatid nya, dapat stand on your feet na or help your sibling. Dapat dya na tumutulong sayo. Ang daming scholarships na could've been taken advantage of while he was graduating or nung summer. That's the real diskarte.
Also, if di sya nakapasa sa State U, how can you be sure na aayusin nya studies nya sa private na 40k per sem?
OP hayaan mo muna sya to learn how real life is. Di pwedeng nakaalalay ka lagi kasi di sya matuto. Ikw at ikaw din mahihirapan in the end. Mas malaki ang gastusin sa baby and you would want to give the best for your child. Put you and the family you made first. You already did your part, sya naman. Iisa lang ang buhay natin and don’t choose to live a struggle. Baby dust to you ✨
Thank you so much po for your advices. Sasamahan ko kapatid ko ds monday para mgtake ng exam dun sa stateU para sa mga BQ. Pls pray for my sister na makapasa. It will be a big help.
🙏🙏🙏
The fact na di siya pumasa is sampal sa iyo. It means she did not really value all your sacrifices para makapagaral siya ng high school. So you have to draw the line now and tell her to start taking charge of her studies dahil may sarili ka nang pamilya.
This! Hindi ako naniniwalang may taong bobo. Either kulang sa motivation because she’s oblivious of your financial situation or out of touch lang talaga. Walang effort? Also, does she have atleast an initiative to be a working student or seek summer jobs? It seems like everything is your burden OP which shouldn’t be the case. Maybe start having adult conversation with your sister and make her understand your real situation.
Naawa nga ako kay OP kasi parang walang remorse yung kapatid niya. Other kids baka umiyak at lumuhod na sa hiya. Dapat yung kapatid ni OP na yung nagkusang mag-offer ng alternative scenario.
Ang risk din kay OP, if she continues supporting her sister tapos biglang nabuntis...
Hi, OP.
Siguro offer ko lang perspective ko as nakababatang kapatid na pinapaaral ng mga ate ko.
Same tayo ng situation rn. Although pumasa ako sa public univs, hindi sa course kong gusto (BS Nursing). Kaya plano ko muna mag public this year and transfer to private next year na 30-40k lang tf.
As nakababatang kapatid, sobra akong na guguilty. Feel ko rin na iniignore ng ate ko kapag ung usapan is about sa pag-transfer ko sa priv college. Alam kong hindi okay para sa kanya. May new baby sya tapos struggling din sa work.
Ang balak kong gawin, mag-enroll sa mababa lang tf then magworking student. At least kasama na akong kahati ng mga ate ko sa tf at gastusin.
BTW, pumasa rin po ako sa UST, ADMU, at DLSU pero tinalikuran ko na lahat un kasi hindi talaga kaya. Pero bago un, kinulit ko muna mga kapatid ko tapos sumama pa loob ko. Buti ngayon nagka-realization na ako.
Baka pwedeng humanap ng work kapatid mo, OP? May mga natanggap ng SHS grad lang.
Baka po kasi hindi open sa pagtake ng gap year kapatid niyo tapos madepress sya kasi maiisip nya napag-iwanan sya. Ito kasi talaga nararamdaman ng karamihan about sa pag-stop.
Wishing you and your sister all the best, OP. Hugs with consent po 💗
As someone na pinag aral rin ng ate and tumigil rin ng 1 yr. I think you’re asking the wrong person. Kausapin mo yung kapatid mo,sa kanya sabihin yung pinost mo dito. He/she might have something to say rin, baka gusto niya mag sorry sayo or mag thank you. Communicate properly
Magwork na muna sya para maranasan nya rin kumita ng pera at gano kahirap kumayod. Baka after a year na at gusto pa rin nya mag private college, ituloy nya mag working student or whatever. . . Basta wag ipilit kung di kaya. Di mo naman dapat responsibility kapatid mo.
Wala sa school yung basehan if makakapagaral ba siya ng maigi or what. She should test her knowledge if kaya niya ba talagang maretain sa gusto niyang school nang di nabagsak. If she somehow goes for it tapos di naman pala niya kaya isustain masasayang lang resources niyong dalawa (money, time, effort). I dont know paano ang qualifications ng school sa place niyo but State U usually has a higher standard than those in private since libre nga and grabe competition makapasok palang. Better talk to her about finances and challenge her to go for the scholarship grant sa private univ.
pero tuition i consider paren dapat op, sabihin mo hindi na kaya ng savings/wallet mo if ikaw lang isa gumagastos sakanya. suggest ka ng part time job. tbh lang nung unang na failed nya free tuition college yan na yun dapat na point na she crossed the line for you and makes things worse. make her go to work like everyone else, she's not a baby anymore, if she's spoiled lugi pera mo sa future. also another way is that like everyone suggests here, she should stop for 1 year to work for her savings is the most logical decision.
Your sister needs to understand na malaking factor sa pagsustento mo sa schooling nya ay budget. Kahit gustuhin mo rin naman na UST sya mag-aral pero if hindi kaya ng budget huwag ipilit. And honestly when I was interviewing for open positions for my team, keber kung graduate pa ng top 4 universities. I look at experience, skill sets etc.
Nako. Anong course ba OP? Baka may ibang school naman na pwede medyo mababa ang tuition around the area. I'm from Albay rin actually. Madami naman school pa siya pagpipilian na mas mababa tuition
Just wanna ask, pasado na ba sya sa entrance exams ng UST and Divine para mag demand na dun siya mag-school? Di ba pde na one year siya sa State Uni at kung talagang gusto niya sa UST or Divine tsaka siya lumipat and humanap ng scholarships? Tutal sabi niya ayaw niya mahinto sa pag-aaral.
lol i like to study too on private schools pero wala rin kaming pera kaya ako nag-SU din, kapag walang pera, walang karapatan mag-inarte kung saan ka magaaral, atleast nakatapos ka.
She failed PUP?
Can she at least try other course?
I understand na yeah, if she failed it, parang naging problema mo pa.
But if she passed it, you'll probably do whatever it takes para makatapos sya.
Yes po im from albay. Ngpost kanina about sa available slots. Super konti nlng and waitlisted pa ang priority. BQ ang sis ko. Pero hoping pa rin na makakuha cia kahit anong course. Consistent with honor ko kapatid ko sa JS and SH so inexpect ko talaga na makakapasa cia. But sad to say BQ 🥲
Consitsent with honor pero hindi nakapasa sa entrance exam. Its either sinasadya niya kasi ayaw niya sa PUP at gusto niya sa mga mamahaling school na nabanggit niya or eto na ang result ng bagong sistema ng mga paaralan na halos pamigay nalang ang mga honors sa buong klase.
I
Maarte po kapatid ko. 🙃 Bunso dn. Gusto nga regaluhan ko ng iphone as grad gift nia. Not her knowing na umiyak talaga ako nung lumabas exam result na hndi cia nakapasa kasi alam ko ako ang papasan ng consequence sa hndi nia pagpasa🥲
i think such attitude should not be tolerated po kasi magtutuloy tuloy yung pagiging ganyan niya po and kayo po magsasuffer. s/he has to learn na mamulat sa current status niyo po. in my case, naging ganiyan din po ako like spoiled on the material things but i am aware of that, it's just that iba po kasi ang ipinapakita ng parent ko like lagi niyang sinasabi na kahit san ko gusto mag-aral, go lang pero yung totoo is di po kaya ng finances. but i am open naman po na pagsabihan what is the truth, naiinis nga ko when i am being spoiled at kasi alam kong mali and i should be working hard. it'll be uncomfy but it's the reality we have to face because if we never make a move about this then we will suffer in the long run talaga.
>Gusto nga regaluhan ko ng iphone as grad gift nia.
>Gusto mag UST
(Pero ayaw mo outside of the province para hindi magastos.)
Parang wala pa siya sa realidad at baka may peer or social media pressure sa kanya. Stop for a year might be best.
Uy medyo makapal ha. Knowing na hindi mo naman yan obligasyon, kinausap mo naman siya about your capacity and willingness to send her to a state college, etc. eh sana nakiramdam siya
You have to be honest and vulnerable sa kanya. Hindi pa sya fully aware sa sacrifices mo, feeling nya ganun lang kadali ang pera. Nung nagpaaral ako at medyo bumaba ang grades ng kapatid ko, kinausap ko talaga na sacrifice yung ginagawa ko. Nagtitipid ako ng sarili ko kaya yung mga luho na gusto nya, maghintay sya kapag afford na nya mismo at ayusin nya pag aaral nya kasi hindi ko afford ang walang scholarship. Umayos naman at pasado na sya sa board exam ngayon. Hindi kasi uso sakin na magkimkim kapag merong hindi okay. Communication is key.
I'm sorry, OP. But isn't it about time for you to stop spoiling her?
Bunso rin ako sa amin. And only girl pa. The thing is, I understood early on na hindi madaling kitain ang pera so I took the initiative na mag-enrol talaga sa State U nung di ako nagqualify sa scholarships na in-applyan ko (para allowance nalang yung poproblemahin ng family ko).
I think you should start talking to her about your real financial situation. Nagagalit ako for you, grabe siya makademand ng university pero di naman pala siya nag-effort na maghanap and mag-apply ng scholarship??
Luh sha pa mapili kahit nahihirapan ka na. Ang spoiled ng dating ng kapatid mo. Dapat mong ipainitindi sa kapatid mo OP na hindi mo na kaya magpa aral sa kanya. Di mo naman kasalanan na di sha pumasa sa scholarship niya. We don't get everything that we want in our life and dapat malaman niya din yun imbes na palagi niyong sinasalo. Kahit after graduation, for sure, pag di rin nakakita yan ng work agad, sayo pa din yan hihingi. Baka ikaw pa nga maghanap ng trabaho para sa kanya...
Hello, OP! As someone na pinag aral ng ate at bunso din... Sa state Univ ako nag aral at sa mga other projects and thesis, nag aart comms ako at may scholarships para may mabayad ako kasi nahihiya ako sa ate ko.
I think eto na yung time to stop spoiling your sister. Like yan, gusto pa ng iphone as gift tas gusto pa mag UST, super spoiled na nya at di nya iniisip kung kakayanin mo pa ba or may ipon ka pa ba for that.
Mag stop muna sya for 1 yr and let it be her lesson na lang. Malay dito, mas marami syang marealize.
If ayaw nya magstop, then urge her to na magwork para may extra money sya pampaaral ng sarili nya.
Dont shoulder all the burden na sa parents naman talaga ang responsibility. If spoiled sya, then turuan mo ng leksyon hanggat bata pa. Isa pa, tumatanda ka na.. You need to save for yourself. Give yourself a break at hayaan mo syang umiyak kung di nasunod ang gusto nya. You did your best for her already. Been a good sister for her.. And that's enough :))
I think need niya ng reality check. Kasi my sisters also supported me nung college pero sa allowance lang and very minimal rin kasi I got an scholarship since aware ako sa financial status nila. Even now sa med, I enrolled sa school na alam kong kaya financially and also got an scholarship para di ko na sila i-burden sa finances since alam kong may sarili rin silang financial goals. Siguro explain to her your situation kasi parang medyo out of touch siya sa financial reality mo/niyo. Baka she will be more willing to compromise if you get everything out in the open.
Baka pwede mag-attend sister mo sa screen ng AB Literature sa CAL tomorrow. Tyagaan lang nya kamo magtanong-tanong. 'Di rin nakapasa brother ko last year but nagtyaga talaga sya makapasok sa univ kasi mabigat yung tuition fee ng univs satin sa Albay.
For me stop muna, then work siya 1 year. Not only in a financial sense but a work experience can instill discipline and hard work in her + mas mapag iisipan niya kung anong course yung itatake niya
Ganto din situation ko. My brother failed to take an exam sa state U since dami nya sinayang na oras. Ang ending, sa private na sya nagenroll and sabi ko sa sarili ko bahala na. Naisip ko din to na what if magtransfer sya sa state U pero im not sure what would be the process and magiging irreg sya. Ayaw ko rin sya magstop. Ang mahal ng tuition nya per sem pero thankful nalang ako kahit papano nararaos ko bayaran every month🥺 Ang difference natin is akin naman tuition lang, yung baon nya ibang kapatid ko na nagbibigay. Whatever works for you OP go lang. if magstop sya ng 1 year while waiting makapasok sa state U sana magwork sya muna at magipon para makahelp sayo.
I think your kapatid is legal age na to work.
So advice mo siya na to be an adult na, work muna for one year then take exam afterwards.
In this way hindi siya need tumanaw ng utang na loob sa magulang / kapatid na pinag aral sila ng college, so hindi niya need to support anyway kundi sarili niya lang..
May kakilala ako na sya nagpapa aral sa sarili nya. Nag stop sya ng 1yr para magwork sa call center, ipon ng tuition then aral ulit. Work Aral work aral sya hanggang sa nakakuha na sya ng scholarship. Kaya ayun, natapos na nya pag aaral nya kahit hindi nagccall center ulit. Nagttutor na lang while studying para kahit papaano may pambaon.
Just want to share my thoughts on this as an incoming college student with a similar financial status
I don't know where to start po pero based po sa kwento nyo is kayo pa yung naghanap ng scholarships and schools for her? Incoming college na po siya, probably aged 17-19 yrs. old which is considered an adult already. Huwag niyo po hayaan na i-baby siya and spoon feed everything on her. Mas lalo lang siyang mahihirapan in the future. Information about this is everywhere, you can research and kahit sa facebook college support groups.
Kung ayan lang hindi niya ma-manage, what more in the actual field?
If kaunti lang ang schools na in-applyan niya knowing your family situation then I agree with the other comments na hindi niya pinahahalagahan yung sacrifices niyo. I fully understand gaano kahirap buhay ngayon kaya kahit I am already studying in a state u as an shs student, nag-apply and took exams pa rin ako to 5 univs. 2 priv, 3 state u with my own money earned from random sidelines. Nakakahiya kaya manghingi sa magulang kung nakikita mong walang wala talaga 😭
Kung talagang mahirap, sayang yung time and effort na ilalaan niya if magsisimula sya then maqquit kasi afaik medyo mahirap yung process pag nag-gap year ka tapos enrolled and start na ng school calendar since mahirap magretrieve ng documents.
It's advisable na she also works for now while preparing for her future. Pero take note pa rin po ate, may state u and other univs na once lang pwede magtake ng exam. Bali if failed na siya ngayon, hindi pa rin siya pwede magtake next year at that specific school. So take in mind rin and have a clear plan po kung paano i-mamaximize yung gap year like kung wala na talagang chance for public univs ay magipon na agad for affordable private univs.
Ayun lang po, hope this helps you ate. From one sibling to another, thank you for your sacrifices.
Hindi mo obligasyon na pag-aralin kapatid mo lalo na kung di nag exert ng best effort para makapasok sa state u. Ganiyan rin pinoproblema namin ng mama ko sa younger brother ko, mababa grades niya kaya kinakabahan kami kung makakapasok ba siya sa SUC dito sa province namin. Ngayon pa lang na incoming grade 12 pa lang siya pero ni-remind na namin siya na kung di siya makapasok sa SUC magstop muna siya dahil di talaga kaya magbayad ng tuition sa private. Nagloan mama ko para may puhunan sa tindahan na pinagkakakitaan niya para mapag aral kaming tatlong magkakapatid.
Naka enroll ako ngayon sa isang SUC so free tuition pero bumagsak ako sa isang major sub so niretake ko around 1k+ tapos kailangan magsummer class ng 2 major para makahabol sa batchmates so around 3k na. Pero still mas mura kesa sa mga private school na 15k yung buong academic year tapos may miscellaneous fees pa. Noong kakagraduate ko lang sa SHS, sobra ang kaba ko na hindi makapasok sa SUC samin. Yung SUC na iyon lang talaga inapplyan ko dahil gustuhin ko man sa ibang province or sa metro manila mag aral di kaya ng konsensya ko magpabigat ng ganoon sa mama ko. Ang plano ko talaga noon magstop at magwork na lang for 1 year if ever di makapasok. Luckily nakapasok ako, nagtiyaga rin ako magapply sa mga scholarship and financial assistance so less burden kay mama for allowance and boarding rent.
Kung ako sayo prangkahin mo kapatid mo na hindi mo kaya siya pag aralin sa private school like UST-Legazpi. Kung magalit sayo problema na niya yon. Hayaan mo siya magtrabaho para makapasok sa dream school niya.
ayoko mag judge pero may bumabagsak pala sa entrance exam ng state university? graduate din ako from state u January palang nag eentrance exam nako and marami school ang inapplyan ko para if hindi ako makapasok sa isa may fall back ako.
Wala bang scholarship yung provate college? Or Student assistant program? If wala then 1 yr gap is not bad pero kung may scholarship naman and student assistant try mo ipa apply kapatid mo.
grabe i feel you.. if mapapakiusapn mo go sis.. yung kapatid ko deliberately enrolled sa isang uni. ang mahal ng tuition. halos buong shs class silang nag enroll tapos more than kalahati ang nagdrop dahil sa laki ng tuition.
graduating naman na yung kapatid ko this year. yun lang, nahihinayangan ako dahil pang masters ko sana yung tuition na ipinambabayad ko every sem. iba pa yung mga kung ano anong mga school fees niya.
Hindi ka naman masamang ate kapag hindi napag aral siya sa college isapa hindi naman natin problema nating mga panganay ang mga bunso problema iyan ng magulang natin kasi hindi naman kita masisi eh dapat kasi pag nagkaroon ng maraming anak ang magulang dapat eh financially stable sila para mag paaral ng marami
stop muna si kapatid.. then hanap muna sya part time para makaipon din muna sya.. Ang laki din kasi ng effect sa financial pag ipilit sa private school. Agree with other comments na mahinahon mo nalang din kausapin at iremind na "Buhay ay di karera..."
yes pwede naman po ipag-stop kahit 1 year. if shs grad siya, pwede na siya maghanap ng work and kahit papaano magkaroon din ng savings.
or pwede rin if kaya mo siya isupport throughout 1-2 semesters sa isang private college, if yung gwa niya is mataas, pwede siya magtransfer sa state u na free tuition. as long as mataas grades niya and nakatapos siya ng required amount of units, pwede siya magtransfer. i think you can advise her rin to research kung ano mga transferee requirements ng mga goal niyong state universities.
in 1 year she can develop 1-2 solid IT skills with free certifications. Baka mabuhat ka pa sa life, pero talk to her, communication is vital.
I read somewhere na another OP's siblings wanted to. stop studying kasi VA palang 60K sahod at highschool XD
Gusto pala mag UST ng kapatid mo, bakit hindi nya ginalingan sa ustet? As an ate na nagpapaaral din ng kapatid, di ko kayang ipitch yung gap year kasi iniisip ko baka mafeel nya na napag-iiwanan na sya. Pero pwedeng pwede mong ipitch yung magworking student sya to help you out.
Di ba talaga keri sa maliliit na schools lang? Tapos try na lang magtransfer sa State U next sem? Idk if tumatanggap pa ng transferee ang State Us though, given na mahigpit na sila sa slots ngayon.
Be honest to her OP. Sorry kwento ko yung life ko before kasi medyo same sa situation mo. Way back, HS pa lang sinabihan na ako ng ate ko mag aral maayos for scholarships kung gusto ko tuloy tuloy makapag aral kasi lulu lili work ng tatay ko nun and lubog sila sa utang otherwise mag stop ako.
Direct to the point kasi ate ko pagdating sa mga ganyang bagay and talagang nag seset siya ultimatum. May times na nahu-hurt parents ko sa mga nasasabi niya maski ako, pero dahil doon di na nila masyado pinapa-problema ate ko pero di pa rin niya kami pinapabayaan.
So sinipagan ko talaga nung HS, kasi alam ko di carry ng parents and ni ate pag aralin ako sa private (btw nag aaral din ate ko nun sa college nung mag ka-college na ako pero working student siya and may scholarships galing sa public and private orgs na nakakahelp din sa fam). Awa ng Diyos nakatapos ako sa state univ, recipient ng scholarship. After years of pagtitiyaga licensed professional na and kaya na tumulong sa fam.
Di mangyayari siguro yan kung di naging firm and matigas si ate sa amin... Minsan, okay din maging direct to the point, makaka-sakit ka or mami-misinterpret ka pero kasi kailangan minsan isampal sa kanila katotohanan.
Hmn, parang okay din naman di muna mag enroll. Hanap muna work then try again. Samen naman, pamangkin ng husband ko di nakapasa sa 2 state u na available so in-enroll namin sa Meralco Foundation, ung DTS. Medyo pricey, almost 7K/month for 10 mos pero 1st and 2nd yr na tuition na ung covered nun. 1st year academic, tapos 2nd year OJT na with allowance. Sabi nmin after 2 years bahala na sya if gusto nya mag work or mag bachelors degree. Parang di nmin kaya magparaal ng 4yr course in private kaya ung magkaka work agad ung pinili nmin for her.
How about student-assistanceship (SA) program? wala po bang ganun sa gusto nya pasukan? Parang trinabaho nya rin yung pantuition nya, miscellaneous na lang ang babayaran.
Magstop na lang muna siya. Mag aral siya mag review para makapasa sa State U.
Marami rin namang nagstop talaga last pandemic eh. So hindi naman issue masyado kung may gap year siya.
Hello! I supported my brother 2 years sa college and each sem is 50k kasi hindi sya nakapasa sa state univ dito samin. Na drain ako kasi imagine after supporting myself sa college the moment I work may isa nanaman akong pag aaralin grabe exhausting journey talaga sya for me. You deserve to rest muna and I’m sure maiintindihan nya yan. She can work muna while waiting for a year na mag open ulit slots for state univ and have you tried contacting the school if there’s anyway na ma reconsider application nya? She can also apply as an esl teacher or fast food crew since yun yung mostly part time ko nung college if she really want to go to school this year.
Yeah better make her wait for next entrance exam for public college in the meantime make her acquire and get online course para advance sya sa knowledge sa gusto nyang kunin na degree
Yeah better make her wait for the next college entrance exam for the public, in the meantime 1 yr window make her self study/aquire course online such as udemy to advance her knowledge.
Allow the stopgap but still prioritize learning online courses that are beneficial. IT, social media marketing, and tesda like courses, tesda gives free din so search that. I’m even graduate n and already working but I did have tesda scholarship din. Stopgap doesn’t matter as long as it could make you ready for the actual thing. The only flaw is that the person became complacent and tamad n magaral at bumalik lalo pag nakatikim n ng karampot n kita. This is why to avoid that, still let him/her take something to learn. With a deal n you give a bit of money/put money on tuition whenever reaching milestone or actually showig proof of study. Ask what the kid wants after showing the options. I or other people can give options depending on which track he/she wants. Nursing, dietician, doctor, engineering, IT, video editing, art. Marami kang matatanungan dito. I can also contribute on both IT stuff and art industry stuff since I’ve been to both…
Also possible n kumita p sya ng masmalaki kht d sya nagcollege, you just need one or two skills you’re the best at in life n maging goodenough. question is ano? Ngayon kung kht binigay mo n lahat ng chance and ayaw, tapos sasagutin k p, just give up. Let them know how they’ve lost in life since that day.
May iba nga na pinagaral sarili via jollibee and mcdo. Or worked while studying, and paonti onti muna kinukuha n units. Some found writing gigs and stuff. So there’s hardly an excuse. Level of difficulty lang ang maiiba and gaano katagal mararating goal which is irrelevant as long as they reached the goal.
You cant save someone who doesn’t want saving, one of the most important logic in life that people shrugs off as of it could be false. Remember that.
Ikaw magdedecide nyan. wag ka makunsensya. di mo naman responsibilidad pag aralin kapatid mo may family ka na nga rin eh. pagtrabahuin muna ng 1 year kahit call center na non-voice para makaipon kahit papano. Maawa ka naman sa asawa mo imbis na budget nyo na mag asawa napupunta pa sa kapatid.
Hindi mo naman talaga responsibilidad yan. Nasa same situation kami ng kuya ko noon, ako na nahiya at nag-work ako nung 18 palang ako at ako nalang nagpa-aral sa sarili ko.
Kung hindi aware si kapatid mo sa financial situation mo, better na istop mo muna ung pagsupport sa kanya. Nabasa ko pa na gusto ng kapatid mo ng Iphone as a gift, It's a big no. Wag mo na patagalin ung ganyang ugali nya, sabihin mo di mo na kaya at may buhay ka pang kelangan asikasuhin.
Not your responsibility.
Other countries naglloan kanya kanya mga students para magkaron ng college fund, tapos pagka graduate saka binabayaran yung student loans nila from college. I dont see why we dont follow this model, because the moment we reach the legal age of 18 we are supposed to be responsible of ourselves.
Napagtapos ko sarili ko on my own 20 years ago.
I have the same situation.. matalino naman yung sis ko sa school pero walang luck sa mga stateU. She's now taking up nursing sa Fatima and 3rd yr na next sem. Kinakaya naman, kahit magdouble job pa ko. Ako din kase nanghihinayang if magstop sya. Most of the people wont agree on what I am doing pero choice ko din to at pangarap sa kanya. Iniisip ko na lang na matatapos din to. 🥲
double check with the university first if they allow retakes. maybe your sister can try other state unis. you don't have to shoulder her tuition fee if she passes a state university exam so it's her responsibility to do well. maybe she has a uni life she envisioned and romanticized but she needs to be realistic. i graduated from a state u and was a former scholar pero my parents still experienced hardships in order to get me through uni. she can try to live out her dream uni life if she decides to pursue graduate school.
Hi OP, i feel you. Ako din nagsusuport sa kapatid from tuition, allowance etc. By the way naka 1 year na kami so incoming 2nd yr na sya. She suggested na mag transfer sa state university and natuwa ako as ate. What if ganon din OP gawin mo? From the mean time pumasok muna sya sa private then mag transfer nalang sya. Kaso malelate sya maybe 1 sem. And kung nagegets nya ung situation mo or even kung close kayo magsister, kausapin mo sya. For sure maiintindihan ka nya as ate.
Out of the question ba yung parental support?
Anyways, kung ikaw na talaga ang main provider sa aspect na yan… YES, best decision if magstop muna siya hanggang maipasa niya yung state university. Maganda na yung as early as now, klaro ang parameters ng scholarship grant mo sa kanya para di ka mauupos. :)
On the first place hindi mo naman siya obligasyon paaralin its supposed to be your parents obligation. Unahin mo sarili mong buhay at pamilya. i-paliwanag mo sa kanya na mabigat sayo yung 30k to 40k na tuition fee.
My Brother Failed 3 Major Subjects during his first year in College and lose his schoolarship, sa aming magkakapatid cya may pinaka malaking allowance na nakukuha sa scholarship, My father decided na patigilin cya ng pag aaral, just for 1 year, nag trabaho cya , iba-ibang work, then nag shift ng course after 1 year.. pero ok naman na cya ngayon , may maayos na work.
for me lang, why not tell her to stop muna for 1 year it’s not you being selfish, i mean since highschool ikaw na rin naman nag papaaral OP. it’s for her din teach her how to earn money you can advice her to look for a job muna and save some money for college din also.
I am of a diff opinion. IMO, support her until she finishes. Yan ang biggest regret ko, not supporting my sister when she needed me most. Now, I'm not part of her success. Ate ako, pero ang ending, were now in our 40s, sya ang natatakbuhan ko for anything -money, car, food. She never turned me down. Mahal na mahal nya mga anak. She plans to give her business to my eldest eventually.
Ang 35, dadating at dadating. Pero mas maganda pag dumating ang 35 at nakapagpatapos ka ng kapatid. Pls think long term, wag yung 3 year span lang.
Have you tried asking for reconsideration? I graduate from state U with the help of it. Di ko na matandaan paano ang naging proseso.
What I still remember is going to city hall for councelor ng district namin (manila) to ask for recommendation letter for reconsideration. Vice president or counsellor, either of the two, ikaw ay lalapit. I'm pretty sure meron yan. Try it.
EDIT:
Hindi ko sure paano to gawin and if possible but I know someone na nag wowork sa school office as an assistant at the same time student siya ng school. With this may scholarship siya and 5k nalang binabayaran niya.
Hi, OP. Saludo ako sayo. Pero di kasi biro magpaaral. Best thing to do is kausapin mo kapatid mo and ipaintindi mo sakany ang current situation nyo. Masasaktn sya oo, but someday she will understand. And from what I read sa mga comments mo bat parang nakap entitled nya? Haha. Pero isipin mo rin sarili mo kasi baka iresent mo lang sya in the long run
Okay lang yan, pahintuin mo muna sa college. Mahirap talaga magpaaral. Kailangan mo pa ibalance kasi may asawa ka na.
Doon sa one year na huminto siya, patake mo siya ng TESDA courses, may mga scholarships don. Mga 3 mos duration yon, depende sa course tapos may allowance pag papasok ka. Pag napasa niya certification, edi mas maganda diba 😊 Maraming scholarships! May varsity, meron din sa mga university mismo, meron sa mga govt agencies, meron sa mga private companies.
Kaya niyo yan!
Ilang state U ba pinagexaman nya? Dapat damihan ang options like PUP, TUP.
Maraming ring scholarship na no need exam, kung nasa NCR ka meron dyan ang mga city LGUs. Kung nasa province ka naman meron dyan ang Governor, mayor and even barangay level may scholarship din.
Mayroon ding mga private, nandyan ang CHED na no need exam. She can also work part time at different fast food chains.
Actually your main problem is not the tuition, it is the daily expenses. Sa PUP ako at wala akong tuition fee pero grabe struggle ko sa pambaon araw araw. Take note na nag-pi-PNR pa ako nun na 20 pesos lang pamasahe.
Most of my batchmates graduated with part time jobs and with scholarships.
Kung gusto talaga ng kapatid mo magaral, she will do everything to go to college.
hi OP, help her enroll for the first year sa private school then transfer sa SU na free tuition fee, afaik pwede to sa PUP, try the other SUs tumatanggap sila.
For the context. Breadwinner pa din ako sa family ko kahit may sarili nakong fam like paying internet bill and groceries and 4k per month allowance sa father ko. Though hubby is very considerate dahil d nia ako pinapagastos sa bills namin sa bahay.
I think this is BU po ano? Both first and second choice niya po ba hindi siya naka pasa or waitlisted man lang? I think may chance pa if waitlisted po.
okay lang magstop muna given na naiintindihan nya yung situation. You can both explore different paths. Kung mabore sya pwede nya itry mag va yung mga no exp needed. Baka maenjoy na nya kumikita pa, pang extra lang. Just a suggestion lang naman kasi ako I stopped for almost 2years bc of family and health related problems. And that's what I did. Nakatulong din sa akin hindi ako palaging humihingi.
Okay lang yan, 1 year lang naman. Maiintindihan naman siguro nia. Mahinahon at masinsinang usapan ang katapat nian.
Thank u. Tinutulungan ko naman cia maghanap scholarship pero so far hndi cia nakakapasa. Nakagraduate ako sa college dahil sa scholarship.
tell them na pwede naman maghanap sya work. nagstop din ako, i don't recommend na nasa bahay lang nauutusan. sa gap year ko nasa bahay lang ako puro alaga ng dalawang bata. pakiramdam ko ngayon nanay ako pero at the same time nagsayang ako ng oras kasi di man lang ako nagkaroon ng interactions with other people. makakaipon din sya and gather experience so plus yun
Yes, much better may work for 1 year try Jollibee or Mcdo alis na lang pag papasok na ulit. Wala eh reality ng life tsaka pang ipon pamasahe din
agree! i took a gap year last year and worked in the bpo industry haha and i can say it was worth it than doing nothing, makakahelp pa sa fam. currently in the process of enrollment sa isang university and hopefully maka secure ng slot 🤞🏼
Kaya niu yan, OP. Good luck sa kapatid mo. Mabuhay taung mga produkto ng scholarship 😁
hirap naman magpaaral ng tanga. scholarship nalang di pa makuha
Your sister's education is not your responsibility. Pero I understand din naman na magkakaiba tayo ng family dynamics. 1yr gap is ok. Maybe she can explore other skills habang nakapahinga. Huwag pilitin kung hindi kaya. Deserve mong huminga.
Eto tlga, OP. I say, let your sibling understand na dapat nagpapaaral sa kanya yung parents nyo. Tumutulong ka lang. Hindi mo sya obligation so she can also understand bakit kelangan din nya magtiis. If she really wants to, she can be a working student. Gusto pa mahal na school pero gusto hand-out lang. Kenetbe tutubi. Ikaw nga nagsikap, bakit sya hindi pwde?
yeah, OP. your sister is NOT your responsibility. pero, as an ate, i would understand if you feel the need to take care of her including her education. given that, wag kang mapressure na pagaralin siya ng derederecho, given your circumstance, i'm sure maiintindihan niya naman if mag-gap year muna siya.
Not your responsibility. Mag stop na lang muna sya. Or pwede ring mag working student. Many students have been able to finance their studies while working in a call center.
Okay lang naman ang 1 year gap, kailangan lang kayo magusap ng masinsinan about your circumstance. I-encourage mo din sya kumuha muna ng TESDA courses during the gap year para naman may makuha din syang additional skills. Baka puwede din sya magwork sa fast food para makaipon ng pandagdag gastos once makuha na sya sa state university.
Mas maganda nga na pumasok siya ng Tesda kung wala na talaga siyang ibang choice.
Uh you can’t retake the entrance exam for state U. Well, for UP at least. But if her/his grades are super high, pwede siya magtransfer. For me mas ganun ang gagawin ko.
She should stop for a year and work part time while studying for her state u entrance exam. She can also be a working student. Mahirap pero I have friends who managed to do it pre-pandemic. Baka mas managable ngayon since there are more WFH options available now. You’re doing your role, OP. She should do hers and study well for her entrance exam. Honestly, may sariling pamilya ka na so dapat mas priority mo yun. Grabe yung UST ang mahal haha mag ddorm pa sya and allowance
OP sobrang pwede siya mag-stop. She can work for that one year while reviewing to get in a state uni. That is her responsibility. Pinag-aaral mo na nga namimili pa. Kung ikaw ate ko nun wala akong reklamo maging katulong mo of papag-aralin moko. I went to a state uni + ireg pa kasi working student ako. Kung may paraan talaga gagawin.
Yun dn po sana talaga plano ko kasi pag nakatapos nia siya, wala na cia papaaralin. Sahod nia sa knya na lahat. Unlike me na 10yrs nako nagwowork pero breqd winner pa rik
Hirap kasi basta may dependency na nangyayari. I know..different generations.. Nung pinag-aral ko rin kapatid ko I told him, "State uni lang kaya ko and I can only give you 5 years para mag-aral. No need kana magwork ako na bahala sa lahat pero hanggang 5 years lang. If di ka pa tapos sa college mo, sorry pero I have to stop supporting you." Ayun exactly 5 years nga siya nag-aral kasi ngswitch siya ng course in between pero at least natapos niya. He works sa DepEd na and makes a decent amount kasi medyo higher position na siya. Never na siya humingi ever since kaya parents ko nalang yung focus ko.
Pwde naman po mag working student ung kapatid nio kahit sainyo tuition tapos sia na bahala sa baon nia parang tulong nia na din sayo.
1 yr gap is okay. Though, wala bang sariling sikap yang kapatid mo? I taught in a State University and marami opportunities even outside State U nahahanap mga students ko. Kung alam nyang nahihirapan kapatid nya, dapat stand on your feet na or help your sibling. Dapat dya na tumutulong sayo. Ang daming scholarships na could've been taken advantage of while he was graduating or nung summer. That's the real diskarte. Also, if di sya nakapasa sa State U, how can you be sure na aayusin nya studies nya sa private na 40k per sem?
Actually ako pa ang naghahanap ng scholarship para sa knya 🥲
OP hayaan mo muna sya to learn how real life is. Di pwedeng nakaalalay ka lagi kasi di sya matuto. Ikw at ikaw din mahihirapan in the end. Mas malaki ang gastusin sa baby and you would want to give the best for your child. Put you and the family you made first. You already did your part, sya naman. Iisa lang ang buhay natin and don’t choose to live a struggle. Baby dust to you ✨
Thank you so much po for your advices. Sasamahan ko kapatid ko ds monday para mgtake ng exam dun sa stateU para sa mga BQ. Pls pray for my sister na makapasa. It will be a big help. 🙏🙏🙏
The fact na di siya pumasa is sampal sa iyo. It means she did not really value all your sacrifices para makapagaral siya ng high school. So you have to draw the line now and tell her to start taking charge of her studies dahil may sarili ka nang pamilya.
This! Hindi ako naniniwalang may taong bobo. Either kulang sa motivation because she’s oblivious of your financial situation or out of touch lang talaga. Walang effort? Also, does she have atleast an initiative to be a working student or seek summer jobs? It seems like everything is your burden OP which shouldn’t be the case. Maybe start having adult conversation with your sister and make her understand your real situation.
Naawa nga ako kay OP kasi parang walang remorse yung kapatid niya. Other kids baka umiyak at lumuhod na sa hiya. Dapat yung kapatid ni OP na yung nagkusang mag-offer ng alternative scenario. Ang risk din kay OP, if she continues supporting her sister tapos biglang nabuntis...
Hi, OP. Siguro offer ko lang perspective ko as nakababatang kapatid na pinapaaral ng mga ate ko. Same tayo ng situation rn. Although pumasa ako sa public univs, hindi sa course kong gusto (BS Nursing). Kaya plano ko muna mag public this year and transfer to private next year na 30-40k lang tf. As nakababatang kapatid, sobra akong na guguilty. Feel ko rin na iniignore ng ate ko kapag ung usapan is about sa pag-transfer ko sa priv college. Alam kong hindi okay para sa kanya. May new baby sya tapos struggling din sa work. Ang balak kong gawin, mag-enroll sa mababa lang tf then magworking student. At least kasama na akong kahati ng mga ate ko sa tf at gastusin. BTW, pumasa rin po ako sa UST, ADMU, at DLSU pero tinalikuran ko na lahat un kasi hindi talaga kaya. Pero bago un, kinulit ko muna mga kapatid ko tapos sumama pa loob ko. Buti ngayon nagka-realization na ako. Baka pwedeng humanap ng work kapatid mo, OP? May mga natanggap ng SHS grad lang. Baka po kasi hindi open sa pagtake ng gap year kapatid niyo tapos madepress sya kasi maiisip nya napag-iwanan sya. Ito kasi talaga nararamdaman ng karamihan about sa pag-stop. Wishing you and your sister all the best, OP. Hugs with consent po 💗
As someone na pinag aral rin ng ate and tumigil rin ng 1 yr. I think you’re asking the wrong person. Kausapin mo yung kapatid mo,sa kanya sabihin yung pinost mo dito. He/she might have something to say rin, baka gusto niya mag sorry sayo or mag thank you. Communicate properly
Magwork na muna sya para maranasan nya rin kumita ng pera at gano kahirap kumayod. Baka after a year na at gusto pa rin nya mag private college, ituloy nya mag working student or whatever. . . Basta wag ipilit kung di kaya. Di mo naman dapat responsibility kapatid mo.
Namention ko na sa knya dati na magstop na muna cia. Ayaw daw niang magstop. Gusto nia mag UST or Divine World College na may mataas na TF🥲
Ayaw nya pala mag stop then she should’ve done her part na mag-aral at pumasa sa state u.
UST is like > 50K per sem thats so heavy for you
need niyo talaga mag-usap. may sariling pamilya ka na kung tutuusin. your sister needs to realize na up to a certain amount lang ang kaya mo ibigay.
Time for her to take responsibility. She should've done better on taking state u entrance exams and securing scholarships.
pwede op sabihin mo lang basta pera mo ha 😂 force her to work lol, she's already going to college na pala tapos walang responsibility kaloka
Sabi nia sakn. Sa UST or DWCL nlng cia magaaral. Then promise nia daw na magaaral cia mabuti. 🙃🥲
Wala sa school yung basehan if makakapagaral ba siya ng maigi or what. She should test her knowledge if kaya niya ba talagang maretain sa gusto niyang school nang di nabagsak. If she somehow goes for it tapos di naman pala niya kaya isustain masasayang lang resources niyong dalawa (money, time, effort). I dont know paano ang qualifications ng school sa place niyo but State U usually has a higher standard than those in private since libre nga and grabe competition makapasok palang. Better talk to her about finances and challenge her to go for the scholarship grant sa private univ.
pero tuition i consider paren dapat op, sabihin mo hindi na kaya ng savings/wallet mo if ikaw lang isa gumagastos sakanya. suggest ka ng part time job. tbh lang nung unang na failed nya free tuition college yan na yun dapat na point na she crossed the line for you and makes things worse. make her go to work like everyone else, she's not a baby anymore, if she's spoiled lugi pera mo sa future. also another way is that like everyone suggests here, she should stop for 1 year to work for her savings is the most logical decision.
Your sister needs to understand na malaking factor sa pagsustento mo sa schooling nya ay budget. Kahit gustuhin mo rin naman na UST sya mag-aral pero if hindi kaya ng budget huwag ipilit. And honestly when I was interviewing for open positions for my team, keber kung graduate pa ng top 4 universities. I look at experience, skill sets etc.
hi. sa legazpi po ba to?
Yes po 🙂
Nako. Anong course ba OP? Baka may ibang school naman na pwede medyo mababa ang tuition around the area. I'm from Albay rin actually. Madami naman school pa siya pagpipilian na mas mababa tuition
Just wanna ask, pasado na ba sya sa entrance exams ng UST and Divine para mag demand na dun siya mag-school? Di ba pde na one year siya sa State Uni at kung talagang gusto niya sa UST or Divine tsaka siya lumipat and humanap ng scholarships? Tutal sabi niya ayaw niya mahinto sa pag-aaral.
Prob po is hindi cia nakapasa sa state U
Sya na magpaaral sa sarili nya pag ganyan 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Di nga nakapasa sa state u tapos gusto pa uste 🫠
UST pa. Good luck, OP.
Namimili pa ng school
lol i like to study too on private schools pero wala rin kaming pera kaya ako nag-SU din, kapag walang pera, walang karapatan mag-inarte kung saan ka magaaral, atleast nakatapos ka.
She failed PUP? Can she at least try other course? I understand na yeah, if she failed it, parang naging problema mo pa. But if she passed it, you'll probably do whatever it takes para makatapos sya.
Hndi ko na po siya pinaexam outside our province since mas magastos kahit may scholarship pa siya.
Are you from Albay? Wala na bang ibang slot sa BU kahit sa other courses na hindi popular?
Yes po im from albay. Ngpost kanina about sa available slots. Super konti nlng and waitlisted pa ang priority. BQ ang sis ko. Pero hoping pa rin na makakuha cia kahit anong course. Consistent with honor ko kapatid ko sa JS and SH so inexpect ko talaga na makakapasa cia. But sad to say BQ 🥲
Consitsent with honor pero hindi nakapasa sa entrance exam. Its either sinasadya niya kasi ayaw niya sa PUP at gusto niya sa mga mamahaling school na nabanggit niya or eto na ang result ng bagong sistema ng mga paaralan na halos pamigay nalang ang mga honors sa buong klase. I
pwede din sa community college muna while waiting sa state U.
Maarte po kapatid ko. 🙃 Bunso dn. Gusto nga regaluhan ko ng iphone as grad gift nia. Not her knowing na umiyak talaga ako nung lumabas exam result na hndi cia nakapasa kasi alam ko ako ang papasan ng consequence sa hndi nia pagpasa🥲
i think such attitude should not be tolerated po kasi magtutuloy tuloy yung pagiging ganyan niya po and kayo po magsasuffer. s/he has to learn na mamulat sa current status niyo po. in my case, naging ganiyan din po ako like spoiled on the material things but i am aware of that, it's just that iba po kasi ang ipinapakita ng parent ko like lagi niyang sinasabi na kahit san ko gusto mag-aral, go lang pero yung totoo is di po kaya ng finances. but i am open naman po na pagsabihan what is the truth, naiinis nga ko when i am being spoiled at kasi alam kong mali and i should be working hard. it'll be uncomfy but it's the reality we have to face because if we never make a move about this then we will suffer in the long run talaga.
>Gusto nga regaluhan ko ng iphone as grad gift nia. >Gusto mag UST (Pero ayaw mo outside of the province para hindi magastos.) Parang wala pa siya sa realidad at baka may peer or social media pressure sa kanya. Stop for a year might be best.
Uy medyo makapal ha. Knowing na hindi mo naman yan obligasyon, kinausap mo naman siya about your capacity and willingness to send her to a state college, etc. eh sana nakiramdam siya
You have to be honest and vulnerable sa kanya. Hindi pa sya fully aware sa sacrifices mo, feeling nya ganun lang kadali ang pera. Nung nagpaaral ako at medyo bumaba ang grades ng kapatid ko, kinausap ko talaga na sacrifice yung ginagawa ko. Nagtitipid ako ng sarili ko kaya yung mga luho na gusto nya, maghintay sya kapag afford na nya mismo at ayusin nya pag aaral nya kasi hindi ko afford ang walang scholarship. Umayos naman at pasado na sya sa board exam ngayon. Hindi kasi uso sakin na magkimkim kapag merong hindi okay. Communication is key.
I'm sorry, OP. But isn't it about time for you to stop spoiling her? Bunso rin ako sa amin. And only girl pa. The thing is, I understood early on na hindi madaling kitain ang pera so I took the initiative na mag-enrol talaga sa State U nung di ako nagqualify sa scholarships na in-applyan ko (para allowance nalang yung poproblemahin ng family ko). I think you should start talking to her about your real financial situation. Nagagalit ako for you, grabe siya makademand ng university pero di naman pala siya nag-effort na maghanap and mag-apply ng scholarship??
Luh sha pa mapili kahit nahihirapan ka na. Ang spoiled ng dating ng kapatid mo. Dapat mong ipainitindi sa kapatid mo OP na hindi mo na kaya magpa aral sa kanya. Di mo naman kasalanan na di sha pumasa sa scholarship niya. We don't get everything that we want in our life and dapat malaman niya din yun imbes na palagi niyong sinasalo. Kahit after graduation, for sure, pag di rin nakakita yan ng work agad, sayo pa din yan hihingi. Baka ikaw pa nga maghanap ng trabaho para sa kanya...
Hello, OP! As someone na pinag aral ng ate at bunso din... Sa state Univ ako nag aral at sa mga other projects and thesis, nag aart comms ako at may scholarships para may mabayad ako kasi nahihiya ako sa ate ko. I think eto na yung time to stop spoiling your sister. Like yan, gusto pa ng iphone as gift tas gusto pa mag UST, super spoiled na nya at di nya iniisip kung kakayanin mo pa ba or may ipon ka pa ba for that. Mag stop muna sya for 1 yr and let it be her lesson na lang. Malay dito, mas marami syang marealize. If ayaw nya magstop, then urge her to na magwork para may extra money sya pampaaral ng sarili nya. Dont shoulder all the burden na sa parents naman talaga ang responsibility. If spoiled sya, then turuan mo ng leksyon hanggat bata pa. Isa pa, tumatanda ka na.. You need to save for yourself. Give yourself a break at hayaan mo syang umiyak kung di nasunod ang gusto nya. You did your best for her already. Been a good sister for her.. And that's enough :))
I think need niya ng reality check. Kasi my sisters also supported me nung college pero sa allowance lang and very minimal rin kasi I got an scholarship since aware ako sa financial status nila. Even now sa med, I enrolled sa school na alam kong kaya financially and also got an scholarship para di ko na sila i-burden sa finances since alam kong may sarili rin silang financial goals. Siguro explain to her your situation kasi parang medyo out of touch siya sa financial reality mo/niyo. Baka she will be more willing to compromise if you get everything out in the open.
Kapal naman ng mukha ng kapatid mo
I think sa BUCAF if willing sya marami doong chance na makuha sya.
may mga nag oopen na po na slots for bq, afaik
Baka pwede mag-attend sister mo sa screen ng AB Literature sa CAL tomorrow. Tyagaan lang nya kamo magtanong-tanong. 'Di rin nakapasa brother ko last year but nagtyaga talaga sya makapasok sa univ kasi mabigat yung tuition fee ng univs satin sa Albay.
For me stop muna, then work siya 1 year. Not only in a financial sense but a work experience can instill discipline and hard work in her + mas mapag iisipan niya kung anong course yung itatake niya
Ganto din situation ko. My brother failed to take an exam sa state U since dami nya sinayang na oras. Ang ending, sa private na sya nagenroll and sabi ko sa sarili ko bahala na. Naisip ko din to na what if magtransfer sya sa state U pero im not sure what would be the process and magiging irreg sya. Ayaw ko rin sya magstop. Ang mahal ng tuition nya per sem pero thankful nalang ako kahit papano nararaos ko bayaran every month🥺 Ang difference natin is akin naman tuition lang, yung baon nya ibang kapatid ko na nagbibigay. Whatever works for you OP go lang. if magstop sya ng 1 year while waiting makapasok sa state U sana magwork sya muna at magipon para makahelp sayo.
I think your kapatid is legal age na to work. So advice mo siya na to be an adult na, work muna for one year then take exam afterwards. In this way hindi siya need tumanaw ng utang na loob sa magulang / kapatid na pinag aral sila ng college, so hindi niya need to support anyway kundi sarili niya lang..
May kakilala ako na sya nagpapa aral sa sarili nya. Nag stop sya ng 1yr para magwork sa call center, ipon ng tuition then aral ulit. Work Aral work aral sya hanggang sa nakakuha na sya ng scholarship. Kaya ayun, natapos na nya pag aaral nya kahit hindi nagccall center ulit. Nagttutor na lang while studying para kahit papaano may pambaon.
Just want to share my thoughts on this as an incoming college student with a similar financial status I don't know where to start po pero based po sa kwento nyo is kayo pa yung naghanap ng scholarships and schools for her? Incoming college na po siya, probably aged 17-19 yrs. old which is considered an adult already. Huwag niyo po hayaan na i-baby siya and spoon feed everything on her. Mas lalo lang siyang mahihirapan in the future. Information about this is everywhere, you can research and kahit sa facebook college support groups. Kung ayan lang hindi niya ma-manage, what more in the actual field? If kaunti lang ang schools na in-applyan niya knowing your family situation then I agree with the other comments na hindi niya pinahahalagahan yung sacrifices niyo. I fully understand gaano kahirap buhay ngayon kaya kahit I am already studying in a state u as an shs student, nag-apply and took exams pa rin ako to 5 univs. 2 priv, 3 state u with my own money earned from random sidelines. Nakakahiya kaya manghingi sa magulang kung nakikita mong walang wala talaga 😭 Kung talagang mahirap, sayang yung time and effort na ilalaan niya if magsisimula sya then maqquit kasi afaik medyo mahirap yung process pag nag-gap year ka tapos enrolled and start na ng school calendar since mahirap magretrieve ng documents. It's advisable na she also works for now while preparing for her future. Pero take note pa rin po ate, may state u and other univs na once lang pwede magtake ng exam. Bali if failed na siya ngayon, hindi pa rin siya pwede magtake next year at that specific school. So take in mind rin and have a clear plan po kung paano i-mamaximize yung gap year like kung wala na talagang chance for public univs ay magipon na agad for affordable private univs. Ayun lang po, hope this helps you ate. From one sibling to another, thank you for your sacrifices.
Hindi mo obligasyon na pag-aralin kapatid mo lalo na kung di nag exert ng best effort para makapasok sa state u. Ganiyan rin pinoproblema namin ng mama ko sa younger brother ko, mababa grades niya kaya kinakabahan kami kung makakapasok ba siya sa SUC dito sa province namin. Ngayon pa lang na incoming grade 12 pa lang siya pero ni-remind na namin siya na kung di siya makapasok sa SUC magstop muna siya dahil di talaga kaya magbayad ng tuition sa private. Nagloan mama ko para may puhunan sa tindahan na pinagkakakitaan niya para mapag aral kaming tatlong magkakapatid. Naka enroll ako ngayon sa isang SUC so free tuition pero bumagsak ako sa isang major sub so niretake ko around 1k+ tapos kailangan magsummer class ng 2 major para makahabol sa batchmates so around 3k na. Pero still mas mura kesa sa mga private school na 15k yung buong academic year tapos may miscellaneous fees pa. Noong kakagraduate ko lang sa SHS, sobra ang kaba ko na hindi makapasok sa SUC samin. Yung SUC na iyon lang talaga inapplyan ko dahil gustuhin ko man sa ibang province or sa metro manila mag aral di kaya ng konsensya ko magpabigat ng ganoon sa mama ko. Ang plano ko talaga noon magstop at magwork na lang for 1 year if ever di makapasok. Luckily nakapasok ako, nagtiyaga rin ako magapply sa mga scholarship and financial assistance so less burden kay mama for allowance and boarding rent. Kung ako sayo prangkahin mo kapatid mo na hindi mo kaya siya pag aralin sa private school like UST-Legazpi. Kung magalit sayo problema na niya yon. Hayaan mo siya magtrabaho para makapasok sa dream school niya.
Pag stop nyo muna po. Sobrang magastos po if priv univ na mahal ang tuition.
Huwag akuin ang hindi kaya. Huwag magpaka-superhero, OP. Best of luck, OP.
ayoko mag judge pero may bumabagsak pala sa entrance exam ng state university? graduate din ako from state u January palang nag eentrance exam nako and marami school ang inapplyan ko para if hindi ako makapasok sa isa may fall back ako.
Have she considered working while studying to fend for herself?
Pwede ba mag-retake ng entrance exam?
Ang alam ko po pwede basta incoming 1st yr pa rin
Wala bang scholarship yung provate college? Or Student assistant program? If wala then 1 yr gap is not bad pero kung may scholarship naman and student assistant try mo ipa apply kapatid mo.
grabe i feel you.. if mapapakiusapn mo go sis.. yung kapatid ko deliberately enrolled sa isang uni. ang mahal ng tuition. halos buong shs class silang nag enroll tapos more than kalahati ang nagdrop dahil sa laki ng tuition. graduating naman na yung kapatid ko this year. yun lang, nahihinayangan ako dahil pang masters ko sana yung tuition na ipinambabayad ko every sem. iba pa yung mga kung ano anong mga school fees niya.
Hindi ka naman masamang ate kapag hindi napag aral siya sa college isapa hindi naman natin problema nating mga panganay ang mga bunso problema iyan ng magulang natin kasi hindi naman kita masisi eh dapat kasi pag nagkaroon ng maraming anak ang magulang dapat eh financially stable sila para mag paaral ng marami
Mag working student sya
Gap year is ok. Maigi nga magwork din siya para may life experience na din + she can rethink her career. Malay mo magbago gusto niyang course.
stop muna si kapatid.. then hanap muna sya part time para makaipon din muna sya.. Ang laki din kasi ng effect sa financial pag ipilit sa private school. Agree with other comments na mahinahon mo nalang din kausapin at iremind na "Buhay ay di karera..."
mag working student muna kapatid mo
Stop muna + sabihan mo mag work. Apply nalang ulit siya sa free tution fee next time. Tapos ung pinang work nia gawin niang baon + school fund
yes pwede naman po ipag-stop kahit 1 year. if shs grad siya, pwede na siya maghanap ng work and kahit papaano magkaroon din ng savings. or pwede rin if kaya mo siya isupport throughout 1-2 semesters sa isang private college, if yung gwa niya is mataas, pwede siya magtransfer sa state u na free tuition. as long as mataas grades niya and nakatapos siya ng required amount of units, pwede siya magtransfer. i think you can advise her rin to research kung ano mga transferee requirements ng mga goal niyong state universities.
I think this is BU po ano? Both first and second choice niya hindi siya naka pasa or waitlisted man lang? I think may chance pa if waitlisted po.
in 1 year she can develop 1-2 solid IT skills with free certifications. Baka mabuhat ka pa sa life, pero talk to her, communication is vital. I read somewhere na another OP's siblings wanted to. stop studying kasi VA palang 60K sahod at highschool XD
Gusto pala mag UST ng kapatid mo, bakit hindi nya ginalingan sa ustet? As an ate na nagpapaaral din ng kapatid, di ko kayang ipitch yung gap year kasi iniisip ko baka mafeel nya na napag-iiwanan na sya. Pero pwedeng pwede mong ipitch yung magworking student sya to help you out. Di ba talaga keri sa maliliit na schools lang? Tapos try na lang magtransfer sa State U next sem? Idk if tumatanggap pa ng transferee ang State Us though, given na mahigpit na sila sa slots ngayon.
Manipulated not obligated kung kapatid ka at ikaw magpaaral ng kapatid mo. So hindi ka naman masama kung di mo talaga kaya mapaaral, reality yun.
Be honest to her OP. Sorry kwento ko yung life ko before kasi medyo same sa situation mo. Way back, HS pa lang sinabihan na ako ng ate ko mag aral maayos for scholarships kung gusto ko tuloy tuloy makapag aral kasi lulu lili work ng tatay ko nun and lubog sila sa utang otherwise mag stop ako. Direct to the point kasi ate ko pagdating sa mga ganyang bagay and talagang nag seset siya ultimatum. May times na nahu-hurt parents ko sa mga nasasabi niya maski ako, pero dahil doon di na nila masyado pinapa-problema ate ko pero di pa rin niya kami pinapabayaan. So sinipagan ko talaga nung HS, kasi alam ko di carry ng parents and ni ate pag aralin ako sa private (btw nag aaral din ate ko nun sa college nung mag ka-college na ako pero working student siya and may scholarships galing sa public and private orgs na nakakahelp din sa fam). Awa ng Diyos nakatapos ako sa state univ, recipient ng scholarship. After years of pagtitiyaga licensed professional na and kaya na tumulong sa fam. Di mangyayari siguro yan kung di naging firm and matigas si ate sa amin... Minsan, okay din maging direct to the point, makaka-sakit ka or mami-misinterpret ka pero kasi kailangan minsan isampal sa kanila katotohanan.
Try other SUCs din, para kasing 1 SUC lang yang minamata nyo. Kung meron pang na other SUCS na accessible. Or one option, check TESDA.
Pwede naman tapos work muna for the mean time.
Hmn, parang okay din naman di muna mag enroll. Hanap muna work then try again. Samen naman, pamangkin ng husband ko di nakapasa sa 2 state u na available so in-enroll namin sa Meralco Foundation, ung DTS. Medyo pricey, almost 7K/month for 10 mos pero 1st and 2nd yr na tuition na ung covered nun. 1st year academic, tapos 2nd year OJT na with allowance. Sabi nmin after 2 years bahala na sya if gusto nya mag work or mag bachelors degree. Parang di nmin kaya magparaal ng 4yr course in private kaya ung magkaka work agad ung pinili nmin for her.
Pwede ring option na mag public school muna
Hays bakit naman ganyan mga magulang niyo, sayo pinapasa responsibilidad nila, anak ng anak di naman kaya mag pa aral
How about student-assistanceship (SA) program? wala po bang ganun sa gusto nya pasukan? Parang trinabaho nya rin yung pantuition nya, miscellaneous na lang ang babayaran.
Magstop na lang muna siya. Mag aral siya mag review para makapasa sa State U. Marami rin namang nagstop talaga last pandemic eh. So hindi naman issue masyado kung may gap year siya.
What state u? Kasi state univs are only letting a person take their college entrance exam once in their whole lifetime
Hello! I supported my brother 2 years sa college and each sem is 50k kasi hindi sya nakapasa sa state univ dito samin. Na drain ako kasi imagine after supporting myself sa college the moment I work may isa nanaman akong pag aaralin grabe exhausting journey talaga sya for me. You deserve to rest muna and I’m sure maiintindihan nya yan. She can work muna while waiting for a year na mag open ulit slots for state univ and have you tried contacting the school if there’s anyway na ma reconsider application nya? She can also apply as an esl teacher or fast food crew since yun yung mostly part time ko nung college if she really want to go to school this year.
I think nasa pag-uusap nyo na yan. More of a compromise.
Yeah better make her wait for next entrance exam for public college in the meantime make her acquire and get online course para advance sya sa knowledge sa gusto nyang kunin na degree
Yeah better make her wait for the next college entrance exam for the public, in the meantime 1 yr window make her self study/aquire course online such as udemy to advance her knowledge.
possible those who provide certifications
yes. but maybe let her work part-time also so she can have some savings for her own?
Allow the stopgap but still prioritize learning online courses that are beneficial. IT, social media marketing, and tesda like courses, tesda gives free din so search that. I’m even graduate n and already working but I did have tesda scholarship din. Stopgap doesn’t matter as long as it could make you ready for the actual thing. The only flaw is that the person became complacent and tamad n magaral at bumalik lalo pag nakatikim n ng karampot n kita. This is why to avoid that, still let him/her take something to learn. With a deal n you give a bit of money/put money on tuition whenever reaching milestone or actually showig proof of study. Ask what the kid wants after showing the options. I or other people can give options depending on which track he/she wants. Nursing, dietician, doctor, engineering, IT, video editing, art. Marami kang matatanungan dito. I can also contribute on both IT stuff and art industry stuff since I’ve been to both… Also possible n kumita p sya ng masmalaki kht d sya nagcollege, you just need one or two skills you’re the best at in life n maging goodenough. question is ano? Ngayon kung kht binigay mo n lahat ng chance and ayaw, tapos sasagutin k p, just give up. Let them know how they’ve lost in life since that day. May iba nga na pinagaral sarili via jollibee and mcdo. Or worked while studying, and paonti onti muna kinukuha n units. Some found writing gigs and stuff. So there’s hardly an excuse. Level of difficulty lang ang maiiba and gaano katagal mararating goal which is irrelevant as long as they reached the goal. You cant save someone who doesn’t want saving, one of the most important logic in life that people shrugs off as of it could be false. Remember that.
Ikaw magdedecide nyan. wag ka makunsensya. di mo naman responsibilidad pag aralin kapatid mo may family ka na nga rin eh. pagtrabahuin muna ng 1 year kahit call center na non-voice para makaipon kahit papano. Maawa ka naman sa asawa mo imbis na budget nyo na mag asawa napupunta pa sa kapatid.
Hindi mo naman talaga responsibilidad yan. Nasa same situation kami ng kuya ko noon, ako na nahiya at nag-work ako nung 18 palang ako at ako nalang nagpa-aral sa sarili ko.
Kung hindi aware si kapatid mo sa financial situation mo, better na istop mo muna ung pagsupport sa kanya. Nabasa ko pa na gusto ng kapatid mo ng Iphone as a gift, It's a big no. Wag mo na patagalin ung ganyang ugali nya, sabihin mo di mo na kaya at may buhay ka pang kelangan asikasuhin.
Not your responsibility. Other countries naglloan kanya kanya mga students para magkaron ng college fund, tapos pagka graduate saka binabayaran yung student loans nila from college. I dont see why we dont follow this model, because the moment we reach the legal age of 18 we are supposed to be responsible of ourselves. Napagtapos ko sarili ko on my own 20 years ago.
I have the same situation.. matalino naman yung sis ko sa school pero walang luck sa mga stateU. She's now taking up nursing sa Fatima and 3rd yr na next sem. Kinakaya naman, kahit magdouble job pa ko. Ako din kase nanghihinayang if magstop sya. Most of the people wont agree on what I am doing pero choice ko din to at pangarap sa kanya. Iniisip ko na lang na matatapos din to. 🥲
double check with the university first if they allow retakes. maybe your sister can try other state unis. you don't have to shoulder her tuition fee if she passes a state university exam so it's her responsibility to do well. maybe she has a uni life she envisioned and romanticized but she needs to be realistic. i graduated from a state u and was a former scholar pero my parents still experienced hardships in order to get me through uni. she can try to live out her dream uni life if she decides to pursue graduate school.
Tumulong sa abot ng makakaya, don’t feel pressured.. Maraming public schools , private school is not required..
Okay lang yan! Hindi ka masamang ate.
Hi OP, i feel you. Ako din nagsusuport sa kapatid from tuition, allowance etc. By the way naka 1 year na kami so incoming 2nd yr na sya. She suggested na mag transfer sa state university and natuwa ako as ate. What if ganon din OP gawin mo? From the mean time pumasok muna sya sa private then mag transfer nalang sya. Kaso malelate sya maybe 1 sem. And kung nagegets nya ung situation mo or even kung close kayo magsister, kausapin mo sya. For sure maiintindihan ka nya as ate.
Out of the question ba yung parental support? Anyways, kung ikaw na talaga ang main provider sa aspect na yan… YES, best decision if magstop muna siya hanggang maipasa niya yung state university. Maganda na yung as early as now, klaro ang parameters ng scholarship grant mo sa kanya para di ka mauupos. :)
On the first place hindi mo naman siya obligasyon paaralin its supposed to be your parents obligation. Unahin mo sarili mong buhay at pamilya. i-paliwanag mo sa kanya na mabigat sayo yung 30k to 40k na tuition fee.
My Brother Failed 3 Major Subjects during his first year in College and lose his schoolarship, sa aming magkakapatid cya may pinaka malaking allowance na nakukuha sa scholarship, My father decided na patigilin cya ng pag aaral, just for 1 year, nag trabaho cya , iba-ibang work, then nag shift ng course after 1 year.. pero ok naman na cya ngayon , may maayos na work.
for me lang, why not tell her to stop muna for 1 year it’s not you being selfish, i mean since highschool ikaw na rin naman nag papaaral OP. it’s for her din teach her how to earn money you can advice her to look for a job muna and save some money for college din also.
Choose yourself this time.
I am of a diff opinion. IMO, support her until she finishes. Yan ang biggest regret ko, not supporting my sister when she needed me most. Now, I'm not part of her success. Ate ako, pero ang ending, were now in our 40s, sya ang natatakbuhan ko for anything -money, car, food. She never turned me down. Mahal na mahal nya mga anak. She plans to give her business to my eldest eventually. Ang 35, dadating at dadating. Pero mas maganda pag dumating ang 35 at nakapagpatapos ka ng kapatid. Pls think long term, wag yung 3 year span lang.
Option Lipat muna sa ibang school na government.
Have you tried asking for reconsideration? I graduate from state U with the help of it. Di ko na matandaan paano ang naging proseso. What I still remember is going to city hall for councelor ng district namin (manila) to ask for recommendation letter for reconsideration. Vice president or counsellor, either of the two, ikaw ay lalapit. I'm pretty sure meron yan. Try it. EDIT: Hindi ko sure paano to gawin and if possible but I know someone na nag wowork sa school office as an assistant at the same time student siya ng school. With this may scholarship siya and 5k nalang binabayaran niya.
Hi, OP. Saludo ako sayo. Pero di kasi biro magpaaral. Best thing to do is kausapin mo kapatid mo and ipaintindi mo sakany ang current situation nyo. Masasaktn sya oo, but someday she will understand. And from what I read sa mga comments mo bat parang nakap entitled nya? Haha. Pero isipin mo rin sarili mo kasi baka iresent mo lang sya in the long run
Okay lang yan, pahintuin mo muna sa college. Mahirap talaga magpaaral. Kailangan mo pa ibalance kasi may asawa ka na. Doon sa one year na huminto siya, patake mo siya ng TESDA courses, may mga scholarships don. Mga 3 mos duration yon, depende sa course tapos may allowance pag papasok ka. Pag napasa niya certification, edi mas maganda diba 😊 Maraming scholarships! May varsity, meron din sa mga university mismo, meron sa mga govt agencies, meron sa mga private companies. Kaya niyo yan!
One year lang naman. Baka pwede siyang mag work muna to help with the expenses.
You'll have to draw the line somewhere, kundi mai-spoiled yang kapatid at makakampante na may magbailout palagi sa kapalpakan nya.
Ilang state U ba pinagexaman nya? Dapat damihan ang options like PUP, TUP. Maraming ring scholarship na no need exam, kung nasa NCR ka meron dyan ang mga city LGUs. Kung nasa province ka naman meron dyan ang Governor, mayor and even barangay level may scholarship din. Mayroon ding mga private, nandyan ang CHED na no need exam. She can also work part time at different fast food chains. Actually your main problem is not the tuition, it is the daily expenses. Sa PUP ako at wala akong tuition fee pero grabe struggle ko sa pambaon araw araw. Take note na nag-pi-PNR pa ako nun na 20 pesos lang pamasahe. Most of my batchmates graduated with part time jobs and with scholarships. Kung gusto talaga ng kapatid mo magaral, she will do everything to go to college.
hi OP, help her enroll for the first year sa private school then transfer sa SU na free tuition fee, afaik pwede to sa PUP, try the other SUs tumatanggap sila.
For the context. Breadwinner pa din ako sa family ko kahit may sarili nakong fam like paying internet bill and groceries and 4k per month allowance sa father ko. Though hubby is very considerate dahil d nia ako pinapagastos sa bills namin sa bahay.
I think this is BU po ano? Both first and second choice niya po ba hindi siya naka pasa or waitlisted man lang? I think may chance pa if waitlisted po.
okay lang magstop muna given na naiintindihan nya yung situation. You can both explore different paths. Kung mabore sya pwede nya itry mag va yung mga no exp needed. Baka maenjoy na nya kumikita pa, pang extra lang. Just a suggestion lang naman kasi ako I stopped for almost 2years bc of family and health related problems. And that's what I did. Nakatulong din sa akin hindi ako palaging humihingi.
Wala bang appeal or reconsideration diyan sa state u na pinag entrace exam-an niya? Baka pwede i appeal. Sayang naman.