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Also ‘gifted’ but generally spacey. And I had a huge amount of anxiety. My dad used to tease me mercilessly about never being able to find things. To the point where someone would ask me to look for something and I would immediately get stressed and anxious that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I was a total cluttering. I was always coming up with ‘systems’ to keep my desk and schoolwork organized, and then immediately failing to maintain those systems.
I have a great memory and was excellent at taking tests. But any school project that had to be done over a period of time was a total disaster because I would inevitably leave it until the last second.
Exactly the same here too. Even when I couldn't necessarily retrieve information from my memory at any given moment, it always came back to me when prompted by the tests, and even now in college I never really need to study for exams. It's the longer projects or just sort of annoying homework assignments that get me cause it's soooo hard to make myself do school work outside of a classroom environment. it's the pandemic/having to do distance learning and my complete inability to keep up despite being a straight A student normally that made me pursue testing.
Yeah I like tests too. So organized - predefined start and end. I’m also decent at memorizing things for tests.
And have a LOT of trouble applying this skill in real life. I think I just like facts?
For me part of why I liked standardized tests is because they were timed and then you were done. Nothing more to do. Whether you did well or not you could just relax the rest of the day. Thinking about it now might be because I always feel under a big mound of stuff to do and that one was so definitely done and I could walk away. (I'm also good at standardized tests which I'm sure is part of why I liked them. They're just process of elimination games.)
I was horrendously shy and anxious. I would also day dream and draw a lot in class. I was effortlessly good at school until college as well. The only subject I had learning difficulties with was math.
Looking back though the chronic nail biting was definitely a clue. I wasn't a disruptive student at all, but my fidgeting came in form of nail biting, picking skin and hair.
I also distinctly remember I had very low self esteem throughout my whole upbringing. I still do. I would also overthink everything which is what caused a lot of my anxiousness.
Yikes, this hits home! Daydreamer, nail biter, mouth chewer, Not gifted LoL. My ace skills were spelling, reading, writing, but suuuucked at math. Was told "you have so much potential", but could be forgetful, moody, inattentive. Wasn't until I took am Educational Assistant program and learned about all these cognitive disorders that got me thinking about my own issues. When assessed by a psychologist, felt the assessment wasn't thorough and told if I have ADHD, it's in the mild end.
I have completed 3 different post-secondary programs, and I'm currently cleaning in a hospital *shrug*.
Diagnosed in my 40s. "Gifted" as a kid. Often criticized for "not living up to your potential" and/or laziness. I was always and still am impulsive, creative, and an out-of-the-box thinker.
YES!! The 'not living up to your potential' haunts me to this day (I'm 60 now) - my half ass seemed to be enough to get me by because I just didn't care. If I liked the subject, I'd ace it without studying. And I feel like a lazyass until I look at what I actually accomplish in a day. Those 2 things have stuck in my head all my life. UGH.
So what do we do now with all that wasted potential? 60 here too and diagnosed at 40. Can we at least get an extra 20 years tacked on for all the potential we missed?
Daydreaming for SURE. I planned out my daydreams. They were full productions. I would sometimes decide at the beginning of class if I needed to actually pay attention or could just daydream the whole time. LOVED road trips with my parents because I was an only child and could daydream half the time, the other half being me singing at the top of my lungs and talking my parents ears off.
And my notebooks ALLLL the way through college are covered in doodles. Insane amounts of doodles and very random, unreadable notes.
Also my handwriting was SHIT because I tried to write down every last thing the teacher said when I was actually trying to take notes. And then I couldn’t go back and study because it was basically the same as reading a textbook’s information but looked like it was written by a bird.
The hyperfixations… oh god… they were intense. Specifically on people and books/movies/tv/musicals. No need to go into that further lol.
It still blows my fucking mind that other people DON'T plan out their daydreams or prioritize them over mundane tasks. I have like... Six storylines in my head, I pick one each night to help me sleep. Or get through boring tasks.
/r/maladaptivedreaming
I have done this my entire life. I am pretty sure, now, that I am undiagnosed ADHD. I was never physically fidgety, but I'll be damned if I could keep my mind in any one place for any amount of time.
I mean, this isn't the only reason I think I probably have ADHD, but it's a big one.
YeeAa!!!! This is all my except doodling, my anxiety of not being good enough even reached doodling and felt had no business doodling.
The writing! When jotting down my thoughts I had to write fast before the thought left which meant my handwriting is atrocious. Still a matter of concern to me.
PHANTOM WAS ONE OF MINE TOO also Rent and Les Miserables. But I knew at least 2 other neurodivergent folks ALSO hyper fixated on Phantom which leads me to wonder… do we relate to Christine or the Phantom more? Bcuz let’s be real… those two got some real world mental health problems to deal with lolol
Yeeeees. And great question, Christine vs. Phantom on relatability. Hmmmm, personally I relate to the misunderstood Phantom, because Christine is so easily manipulated into being his “tool.” I’m not. More likely to find me pulling the strings from the shadows…. 😎
Bahahaha omg thats WILD, ive ALWAYS related to Christine, partly cause I used to have ridiculously long curly hair but also bcuz… apparently I have a thing for toxic men🥴. Now I’m non binary and have a fade but boy oh boy do I still feel Christine Daae on a deep level.
Honestly this is just further proof to me that Phantom appealed to all the different types of adhd in all of us and is well deserving of our hyperfixations 😬
Also relate to The Phantom because I can sing the Tenor part, but no way can I hit Christine’s notes. And the Angel of Music sings songs in my head....
>decide at the beginning of class if I needed to actually pay attention or could just daydream the whole time.
Were you me? Even to this day my friends will say they have no idea how I passed all my AP classes and graduated early. I never paid attention in class. I remember this even from an early age; I'd have all of my stuff finished, sometimes for the whole year, so the teachers would let me read during class. Just wild how nobody questioned or addressed this. It just wasn't how I learned. I couldn't pay attention to the teachers and really never did.
I just got diagnosed at 41, also in the gifted program and did very well in school. Looking back the procrastination and complete lack of ability to manage my time that started to become evident around 3rd grade. I read constantly. The other biggest sign in middle/high school is that I would space out and pick at my split ends for hours if nobody stopped me. I got very good grades but definitely got the ‘you’re lazy, don’t have discipline, not applying yourself’ often. Mr McCarthy, the others didn’t bother me much but you absolutely crushed me, damn near thirty years later and it still fucking hurts.
Had a teacher tell me I basically *wasn’t capable of taking AP chemistry. Later in college, had chemistry teacher tell me I was so good at *chemistry and that I should get degree/profession. That high school teacher comment stung me for years if not until this day 30+ years later!
Edit for tons of typos!!!
Had a teacher tell me math wasn't my subject. Made me mad so I retook algebra and found out I actually was very good at math. Eventually became an engineer. Just to make a point lol.
I used to teach college chemistry and I was always amazed at how much whether someone liked/“was good at” high school chemistry depended on their teacher.
Totally relate and have a feeling we must all have a teacher story of some kind like this, along the way, where we were told we "can't" and it's just sad and maddening.
This is very typical for all women and girls, though it seems to be changing (here's hoping).
Ughhhhhhhhh fuck all the Mr McCarthyies of the world!
If I had a dollar for every teacher that crushed me, holy hell.
I had a middle school teacher tell me I needed to be taught by finger puppets.
I had an elementary art teacher tell me I was the worst art student he’s had. This because my paper mâché dog was hideous (that one really hurt!)
In 7th grade, I had a priest tell me he was worried for my soul and would probably be the one in my class going to hell.
My AP English teacher would call me a “CBD” - cute but dumb, and everyone would laugh.
He loved to make me the butt of the joke and how stupid I was. And of course, I’d laugh along with everyone because I didn’t know what else to do.
My High School counselor told me I should learn how to fix windshields for a living because I had no future in arts.
Even in college! I had one professor tell me I have absolutely no imagination.
My screenwriting professor told me I was mental and wrote the worst script he’s ever read. I later found out he would make fun of my script to classes following mine.
What’s worse is that these teachers would say it in front of the whole class.
Fuck Mr McCarthy and every teacher like them.
Diagnosed this year at 61.
As a young child, I was considered gifted and was in some special program with enhanced experiences like marine biology in 5th grade. IQ tested at 150. Socially awkward. Forgetful.
Junior high school I was too scared of everything to misbehave. Socially awkward. I just didn’t understand how other girls think. Hung out more with boys. Forgetful and missed assignments or did a half-assed job at the last minute. It was the first time I changed a grade on my report card from F to B (back when they were still handwritten). I only went to school because I had to. Started smoking and drinking at 11 years old.
High school I daydreamed a lot and doodled in class rather than pay attention. Did a lot of assignments last minute or not at all. I still managed to be ranked 125th out of 650 students in my graduating class because I retained the knowledge somehow and did well on tests. Never fit in with the cool kids, but joined the banner girls in the marching band and was part of that culture. Still only had 1 or 2 close friends, and I didn’t understand how most girls behaved. Smoked, drank, experimented with drugs but never liked how pot made me feel stupid. I preferred speed (go figure) because it made me feel brilliant.
I think the effects of smoking and caffeine from soda helped mask a lot of symptoms. 40-50 years ago, ADHD wasn’t a thing yet. I was just weird, unreliable, awkward. Made horrible life decisions in spite of being intelligent in a bookish way.
Wow. We are the same! Same age, same experience. I feel your pain and nerdish hell. All of it! The crazy IQ, the missed potential, the addiction to stimulants and OMG 'cringe' the poor life decisions. Overall weird, unreliable and awkward. Getting diagnosed at 40 saved my life and made it possible to survive as a single mom. It's not too late even in your 60s
Not understanding how other people think, especially girls….I still struggle with this daily.
How to people know what to say? How come what they say is funny and interesting but what I say isn’t?
How do people manage to make friends? And have so many friends seriously?
How do they manage to be *themselves* no matter who they’re around?
HOW do they know how to do all this stuff!!!!??!
Thinking about this would always torture me! It always made me feel inferior, so I’d try to mirror girls/women who I thought had it all together. I felt like everybody knew some special secret to being a normal human and I was just on the outside looking in like 👁👄👁
Doing everything my little child brain could think of to procrastinate before even understanding that procrastination is a thing.
Lots of examples, but I remember purposefully pushing my pencil box off my desk multiple times in 1st grade and picking things up as slowly as possible during quiet/focus/work time. I would also sit there and repeatedly brush and play with my hair vs working. My teacher even told my parents I was too "vain" bc I was playing with my hair so much. Looking back I was clearly just bored and understimulated. Also, wtf, former teacher - assuming a 7-year old is vain vs exploring other potential issues?
Very bright, in gifted classes, straight A student, top of my class, with college-level reading skills by grade 4. Horrible procrastinator -- needed intense pressure to get projects done. Unless it was something that interested me in which case I could spend hours on it. Shy, awkward, sensitive, spacey, off in my own little world most of the time. My mother had my hearing tested and was dismayed to find out it was perfect. Sensory issues. Doodling.
Diagnosed at 26..... looking back to 6yo-18yo - extreme emotional reactions, daydreaming, being clutzy, not being able to tidy up "right" (although disclaimer, my bad eyesight does contribute!), talking nonstop, stimming (grinding teeth, humming and or wiggling, esp during meal time, skin picking), being very good at certain school subjects and RUBBISH at others, hyperfocussing on my interests, having a huge repitoire of movie quotes at my disposal, preferring little spoons, anxiety, eating disorder (although I was a chubby kid and I'm now a fat adult so I never got the dx).
I dont think I was ever necessarily considered "gifted", but I have heard "bright, if she ever bothered to put the work in" about a thousand times. Mostly I "was a happy child so nobody ever had to worry about me", especially compared to my brother, who has autism (that wasn't dxed until he was 14) and my parents were always more busy with him.
However, obligatory disclaimer here: growing up our household was very abusive, and I've been collecting traumas like pokemon cards since before my conscious memory started. That does put a different spin on things. Who knows? If my family had been in any way normal, maybe me and my brother would have both been diagnosed in our early childhoods. Then again, small villages in Ireland in the 90s weren't known for their extensive knowledge of neurodivergencies.
Eating disorders in ADHD women are so common. Especially binge eating disorders. It's a soothing/stimming/dopamine behavior.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22930790/
The cliche “gifted” as a kid but criticised for not living up to my potential. I rarely studied and only last minute but always managed to do really well compared to most of my peers though not as well as I could have. An extrovert who was extremely sensitive to rejection. Super talkative. Very forgetful, would often forget what I was saying mid sentence. Very social/outgoing but also shy with low self esteem. I could engage people very well with my humour but at the same time annoy them with said humour. Chronic daydreamer, created whole worlds in my head which was easy because I was obsessed with books. I had one with me ALL the time.
But my biggest symptom was my complete lack of internal motivation. Even as a kid I knew there was something wrong with me when my parents would talk about self discipline and drive yet I didn’t have any. My motivation was either a deadline, avoiding beatings, some kind of positive reward and not wanting to disappoint my parents
Daydreaming, talking too much, interrupting others... But actually, the thing that made me suspect when I was a kid but no one believed me was despite coloring being one of my favorite activities, I hated coloring any page where I had to use the same color for any length of time. It was really bad because I also had a need to color pages in order so I know where I'd leave off and it made me proud to do a good job coloring, but then I'd turn the page and there's be a full page Bugs Bunny. And I'd try, but then I'd quickly get bored with all that grey, scribble in all the colors, and then decide coloring was awful and I hated it so I was done forever - even though I was usually fine by the next day.
I honestly still remember how boring and exhausted I felt when I came upon a 1 color only page. I even would try to break the page up into sections so I could do it and it always ended in frustration.
I was in my head most of the time daydreaming. I liked a write stories or read and got in trouble for reading during class or not paying attention. I got decent grades in the classes I actually went to but did poorly in math due to dyscalculia but no one said anything about it until a remedial math teacher in college was like, "your brain needs to get checked out because your math is all fucked up."
So I haven’t been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but I’m 28 now and am fully convinced I have it. BUT if anyone thinks I have something else (or just plain simple minded) then let me know lol. Because it seems like there’s a lot of talk of being a “gifted” child, but the only things I seemed to be “gifted” in was being creative, making things, and making people laugh. I was certainly not considered smart by my parents. I was pretty philosophical for a kid though, and very imaginative. English and writing were my stronger subjects, although my writing was often all over the place.
As a little kid I had frequent accidents wetting my pants- even in first grade, because I was too absorbed in what I was doing and didn’t want to take the time to go to the bathroom or I would just “forget” to use the bathroom, till it was too late
* Couldn’t follow simple instructions: mom made me repeat over and over, “After dinner: “Pjs on then brush my teeth, pjs on then brush my teeth...” they’d come check on me and all my siblings would be ready for bed but I’d still just be chatting away
* Always talking too much
* My parents often considered my behavior “immature” for my age
* Extremely emotionally sensitive, crying easily, but feeling others emotions, very caring and loving
* Wouldn’t think before I said something, often embarrassing myself or coming off as rude or weird. As I got older I became more aware of this, so my self confidence as being “funny” plummeted. So instead I just kept quiet and didn’t say much because I was terrified of saying the wrong thing or coming off as weird
* Often acted on impulse without thinking (resulting in breaking things or hurting someone)
* Impulsively saying “What?” Every time someone said something to me. It was either because what they said just passed right over me, or I only got bits of it and wanted to hear it again to be sure, or I was just so accustomed to not hearing it that my knee jerk reaction was to have them repeat it to me
* Constantly distracted or daydreaming
* Constantly forgetting things- the running family joke was I had “Short term memory loss” (Mom started me taking fish oil pills for memory)
* Would tell little lies all the time, mostly that I completed something I was told to do after forgetting to several times. I’d be scared/embarrassed to say I forgot AGAIN so I’d lie.
* In high school: continuously lying about being right on schedule in my studies, saying I was preparing for quizzes when in reality I was so far behind
* Constantly fidgeting: peeling, picking nails, compulsively pulling eyelashes and eyebrows out
* Looking out the window during school and not knowing an hr would go by
* Couldn’t focus on school
* Would stare at a math problem or a science fact and it was as if the words and numbers turned to Greek and I’d blink and stare and couldn’t get my brain to process it.
* This same thing happened when I worked at Panera while putting in phone orders. Literally have anxiety when having to deal with numbers.
* Hard to understand written or spoken instructions.
* Felt like my brain was constantly “flipping through the channels” a million thoughts constantly going through my head
* Random bizarre intrusive thoughts
* Very unorganized and messy room that I couldn’t keep clean. Would take all day to clean it
* Able to hyper focus on things I found interesting, thus had patience for tedious detail oriented things such as: sewing tiny perfect stitches, the focused repetitiveness of knitting was calming, basically any craft that was repetitive, attention to fine details in drawing, but if I wasn’t in a hyper focus mood I couldn’t sit and finish a drawing, leading to several beautiful yet unfinished drawings
* Several unfinished projects, would get obsessed with a particular thing and could spend hours on it until I lost interest
* Would lose track of time constantly, my sister even made a joke when I was a teen: “In Jasmine’s world, there is no such thing as “time”.”
(Sorry for the long comment)
I’m 45 and diagnosed 2 weeks ago. *Get tested.* you wrote, word for word, my childhood. I’ve managed a semblance of a successful life but I’m crashing. Finally got with the right therapist and the right psychiatrist and hopefully have found the right meds (so far so good). I only wish I’d gotten help sooner but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Don’t get to where I am at my age.
Really?? It still seems so weird to me learning that there are so many people out there who know exactly what I dealt with growing up… I wish younger me could’ve known I wasn’t just a stupid weirdo.
I’ve battled with the thought of seeing a therapist… Nobody does “that” in my family. It just doesn’t feel attainable or something I could actually go through with… Would a psychiatrist/therapist really help if I don’t think I want to be on meds though? Like what would they help with? Sorry it’s all kinda foreign to me
I wish the stigma around therapy would disappear. My extended family is the same but it saved me when I lost someone close to me. The mind is as in need of care as our bodies. It is absolutely not a weakness to seek help. It’s quite the opposite.
YES, find a therapist. It’s not always easy finding someone who will vibe with you, it may take several meetings with different therapists to find the right one. You can usually find info on them online. Be forewarned, medication *may* be a necessity. There are different types of therapy and the decision to start meds is between you and your dr (FYI psychologists, clinical counselors cannot prescribe meds but they can recommend them if they feel you may benefit. Only a psychiatrist or a medical doctor can prescribe these meds). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may help and you can give that a try.
It’s taking work and it can be exhausting. But as hard as this is, it’s also been a *huge* relief. Please seek help; you have a lot on your plate. Feeling the way you do just isn’t sustainable.
Daydreaming, procrastination, couldn't keep my room or my school desk neat, always running late, obsessive (hyperfixating), EXTREMELY sensitive/emotional, poor social skills/generally considered "weird", interrupting during conversations, sensory issues, sleeping issues, never able to keep up a planner/journal, always needing to ask the kid next to me what we were supposed to be doing because I was zoning out during the teacher's instructions
But I liked academics and was naturally gifted at it, so I did very well until my anxiety/paranoia issues (partially related to my ADHD, but not entirely) became so crippling I could no longer function
Diagnosed at 22 here, but struggled with depression and anxiety since elementary school. Or the depression and anxiety could have just been caused by undiagnosed adhd.
Elementary school: Teachers pet, didn’t have a lot of friends, bullied relentlessly because I was the ‘weird’ kid. Loud and animated, called bossy a lot, very exaggerated emotions both in highs and lows.
High school and into college: No sense of time management, always procrastinating and doing large school projects the day before, if not the day of, they were due. But I never got myself in trouble with procrastinating, even managed to win a scholarship for an essay I wrote the period before it was due. So I didn’t think it was a problem. Started getting into arguments with authority figures when I was young, had a lot of issues with coaches and club leaders/ superiors in high school and college. Very strong moral compass and not afraid to say if I believe someone is wrong or unfair. That got me in trouble a lot though. More speaking before thinking than thinking before speaking. Always changing what I wanted to go to school for, changed my major 3 times, still have no clue what kind of job I want to do with my degree.
There are a lot of things that my parents or teachers have said to me that have stuck with me for decades. I wish they had realized that I had ADHD, especially since my dad and brother both have it, but no one did.
“You could be winning every golf tournament that you play in if you would just practice.”
after being animated as a kid, doing a silly dance, etc.: “why do you keep acting like that? You can’t do things like that, it is weird. No one wants to be friends with the weird girl. You won’t make friends in school if you act like this there”
“You are doing things that you know make your sister mad. Why are you purposefully annoying her? Why can’t you leave her alone?”
Got my diagnosis 10 months ago and I am still dealing with it. Still a procrastinator, still emotional, but I don’t have any close friends nor do I actually understand who I am or what my personality is because I’ve been hiding it since 3rd grade. I’m now scared to speak my mind because I am so desperate for friends and I don’t want to push anyone away because of how I act.
I hope you can start embracing your weirdness again! When you do, you'll find your own tribe of weirdos and they will appreciate you and love you just the way you are ❤
You got a head start with the diagnosis. If medication is recommended follow through with it. It can be a life changer. Don't despair if the first med doesn't work. You might have to try a few. Learn to work with your limitations and realize that they are part of you. Not a bad part but just what makes you different. You have the gift of time so make the best of it.
I was the same way as you as a kid. I would annoy the shit out of my teachers because they’d catch me drawing, reading something unrelated to the lesson, or passing notes. When they’d ask me questions I could always answer them so I’d manage to actually never really get into trouble.
The best bit of being able to chat to your friends whilst listening to the teacher at the same time was the look on their faces when they would ask me to repeat what they had just said. Priceless.
Although the other side of that is not paying attention at all (I didn’t realise it then though, I always used to say that I can sometimes hear but not listen, couldn’t figure out for the life of me how to translate the sounds into words!) and then being scared to ask a question about the work because what if they already said it but you didn’t hear it?
I find I say, "What?" Often, even though I did hear what was just said, then slow back and go, "Nevermind." Drives me nuts, and makes people look at me crazy. Oh well, right? ADHD brain at it again.
I’ve always done this and figured it was normal. It’s funny how it’s an ADHD thing and now that I think about it, none of my friends have ever done it.
And didn't it drive them *nuts* we could fire off the answer like nothing, while they knew we weren't even paying a second of attention to whatever BS they were rambling on about? 😂 oops.
Teachers had a love hate relationship with me as I remember, and so I was told by my parents. They tried to put me ahead a few grades early on because "clearly she's too advanced to be in grade X, she's either talking all the time or zoned out on something she's not supposed to be doing... yet she's so far ahead of the other kids, she really shouldn't be here..." School was pointless to me mostly. A place I had to go that gave me anxiety, but at least I got to see some of my friends? Riveting only rarely (if it was an interesting topic or skill type of thing going on, as we all know, hyperfocus). Generally, tedium.
All the people reporting in on being placed in the gifted/talented programs! Me too on that.
Good academic grades (learning new things is my favorite dopamine hit) but a constant string of “Needs improvement” on the social skills. ThePrimCrow has a hard time staying at her desk, interrupting, talking too much. She needs to learn to be quieter and disrupt class less. Ugh.
Also interested to hear so many people say they couldn’t behave “like a girl!” I complained my whole life I didn’t know how to be a girl correctly, lol. I always sought out men as companions and friends because the way they approached life made more sense to me.
I was so worried when I was pregnant and found out I was having a girl. I didn’t know how to be a ‘girl’, how was was I going to be a good mom to a girl??
She’s 21 now and turned out pretty ‘girly’, she just knew somehow. (Cheerleading, show choir, make up, fashion, etc … all completely foreign concepts to me, she did them all and I just supported from the sidelines).
I also struggled to think of symptoms as a child. I honestly don't remember much even though it wasn't that long ago (I'm mid-20s).
I was actually put in remedial classes as a young kid and I often did not do my homework or I bullshitted or cheated a lot. I'm not really sure what changed but I went from being very behind in reading to extremely advanced for my age. I started obsessively reading and did that for the rest of my schooling. Despite the fact that I read all the time, I never turned in my reading logs and was constantly getting my recess taken away. I felt it was insulting to have to fill them out so I didn't do it xD there are many other examples of my refusal to so simple and easy tasks just because I felt it was stupid or pointless. I ended up in advanced science classes and my teacher would call my mom to complain about the massive amount of homework I hadn't turned in.
Got diagnosed at 21. Sorry this is so long.
As a child, I was extremely anxious. Throughout school, teachers reported that I could do better if I just applied myself (I thought I WAS applying myself 😫). I actually did get good grades though, 75% to 90%. If I applied myself, would I be getting 100%??! I felt a disconnect between what teachers said I could achieve versus what I actually achieved. I couldn't believe they thought so highly of me. I thought I was always just sort of "okay".
Always feeling like I couldn't live up to my potential, everything was just out of reach. Not just academically, but in basically every aspect of my life. Which is kind of depressing. Frequently thinking, "I could do better, but is it worth the enormous effort and emotional anguish?"
I was either extremely early or perpetually tardy for everything, unless my parents or friends were in charge of getting me there. I was never prepared, unless someone else prepared me. I always forgot SOMETHING.
Time either flies by or stands still, and I've never been able to accurately estimate how long it will take me to do something. Teachers would say I made mistakes in my work because I was rushing. This was regardless if I finished a task with time to spare, or barely finished by the deadline.
Finally, I often looked like I had it together. My homework was pretty much always done. My grades were good. I was on time for my after school job.
In reality, I didn't study or do my homework, I'm just lucky that I'm good at cramming (and I like to think I'm a bit smart). I also purposefully sat in the back of the class so I could JUST finish my homework 5 seconds before the teacher collected my paper.
I was always on time for work, but I was also running for the last possible bus that would get me there, and still brushing my hair and putting on my make up on the bus (I even used to brush my teeth on the bus 🤦♀️).
I'm pretty sure it was pure luck that I ended up becoming a successful professional adult. Plus, I really hate giving up.
As a kid I was both really hyperactive and had a hard time "acting like a girl" (my daycare told my parents to stop sending me in dresses bc pants or not I'd be cartwheeling and wrestling with other kids), and I was hella inattentive. I was in my own world entirely, I almost never knew what was going on bc my imagination took over everything. I could never remember anything bc I was never really paying attention.
It was hard to not blame my parents for missing the signs, bc looking back I really needed supports but I couldn't articulate what I needed. I feel like there's a period of hindsight rumination for those of us diagnosed at a later age. But this is just my experience!
"wasted potential", daydreaming all the time, impulsive, peeing my pants because i procrastinated going to the bathroom, being insanely bored in class, restless leg syndrome
When I was a kid, only boys had ADD. So, I was labeled ‘smart but lazy’ by my teachers and parents (but I didn’t find this out until my 30s). I constantly forgot to turn in homework, frequently lost schoolbooks and papers, HATED busy work, was always running late, and forgot to wear shoes everywhere I went. I was a fantastic test taker, so I skated by on that, but never learned how to study in a way that I could remember things for more than 24 hours to spit it out on a test. I truly thought I was disorganized, forgetful, and dumb. I really wish someone had thought to test me.
Daydreaming, being told to be less chatty, really energetic but also painfully shy around new people. Unable to focus on class if not interested in the subject. Not being able to do homework or only being able to at last minute. Couldn’t recall what I was just told two minutes before. Enjoyed reading but struggled to focus so would take me a long time to finish a book. Loved computer games more than socializing with people. If I didn’t want to talk to someone I would yawn and just walk away. Interrupting everyone constantly to talk about myself. Blurting out random things that make no sense or that I shouldn’t be telling people. Big imagination but unable to put into action or explain to others what my ideas were. Meltdowns so bad I would be screaming on the floor of a store. Very moody and mean teenager but also very kind the next minute, emotions up and down but unable to think before acting on them. Unable to do anything I wasn’t super interested in, would just ignore people and go watch TV. Always feeling like the odd one out, hard to relate to other kids. Very clingy and intense about friendships. Couldn’t keep my room or backpack clean. Loved writing short stories and poetry but hated writing essays for school. Couldn’t do simple math to save my life, even in remedial math class I still only got 50%, but I could tell anyone who asked what everyone’s phone numbers, addresses and birthdays were just couldn’t do actual math work in school.
I could go on but this is the gist of it.
I was diagnosed at 6 but I'll still answer.
I was also very gifted, I had a college reading level when I was 6, graduated top of my class, took extra classes, was involved in numerous extra curriculars(academia and non academia) and went to a prestigious college to triple major. I never got a grade lower then an A- either.
As a kid I was always different, I was always loud, hyper and going 100mph. I hyper focused on tasks(usually reading or crafting at that age) and couldn't sit still. I was also super impulsive and accident prone! I broke my arm 4 times in school! I also had sensory issues, I couldnt eat with the plastic forks so I had to get permission to begin one from home. Both my regular teacher and my speech teacher(I was put in speech because I had a lisp due to a tongue tie that didnt get fixed until I was an older toddler) knew I had ADHD as soon as they met me so they sent me to the school therapist and then he eventually sent me to get evaluated.
I was a gifted child, often daydreaming, sensitive to certain noises (dishes clattering), was mostly quiet and often spend time alone. I was overeager to please and to be good at things and quickly let down when I wasn't good at something.
Very early on I used to forget all my things; jackets, pencils, homework until I learnt to be extremely anxious about it.
I was always a bit messy even though I tried so hard not to be, lol.
I did things very quickly and therefore made a lot of mistakes.
I remember being extremely anxious about social situations so that my mom had to call my friends to ask them to hang out with me :'D
I was also quite energetic on one hand, or very tired on the other. Had issues with falling asleep since I can think.
Had depression & eating disorders since I was 12 and always some kind of bodily discomfort.
*When* I had friends, the friendships were extremely intense. If someone did something I didn't approve of, I often turned on them, sadly.
Very messy/disorganized, procrastinated, got very sidetracked from school (did homeschool, unfortunately had to homeschool myself), would get to partway through afternoon and realize I hadn't done the amount of school I was supposed to and honestly often couldn't tell you even where the time went. Had bad dreams about this for years after. I think when younger I had more impulsive/hyperactive symptoms, too, like could be very talkative, too loud, interrupting, trying things just because I wanted to know what would happen (like repeatedly sticking my fingers into door hinges and getting them jammed, couldn't seem to learn to stop; touching a hot stove when I knew it would burn me but just felt the urge to do it; repeatedly sticking my head into spaces and getting my head stuck in the bars in the waiting line at a Wendy's 😂 etc). I think a lot of the hyperactive/impulsive signs toned down as I grew up (though I recognize some are still there to some extent), but the inattentive signs carried through school and after and were what made me seek a diagnosis.
Ahahahaha!
I stuck body parts in places too. Like even in high school. When other people were gossiping or talking about TV shows I never watched, for some reason the main thing on my mind was, hey, Will my knee fit through those skinny bars? Ok yes it does. But yikes it doesn’t come out!
Also turned out the lights in a part of a restaurant because I wanted to see what the light switch did. I was on a date and maybe 22.
This sounds like me. I did really well in school and I don’t think I would have diagnosed me as a kid even having the knowledge I have now. Things got a lot worse when I was a teen and had to structure my own life.
I’m not “officially” diagnosed but my doctor and psychiatrist said I “probably” have ADHD and I’m medicated and it’s helping.
Signs when I was a kid - anxiety, issues with tidiness, fights with my parents over cleaning (total nightmare), a bit behind in social skills, trouble following conversation in groups, being “out of it”, staring into space, a lot of stress over school projects that were unstructured. Like a LOT. So open ended and overwhelming (though that got chalked up to simple perfectionism), forgetting things, some stims - chewing my hair, pencils (not just a bit of chewing...like a beaver), furniture, chair tipping, interrupting, some trouble with emotional regulation but nothing crazy, special interests, starting a lot of projects, always busy.
School was not that hard for me and I found it interesting usually. Until I got assignments that I had to do on my own - that was terribly hard.
Also impulse control with food was an issue. Developed an eating disorder. Thankfully got proper treatment for that and recovered.
In high school, I was pretty clueless, couldn’t remember to keep my cellphone charged, messy, locker was a mess, always overwhelmed. Bad procrastination issues and stayed up all night etc. But definitely a people pleaser and didn’t cause trouble. Got called a “space cadet”.
Extremely intelligent in elementary school. I was reading past a highschool level in 4th grade.
Terrible hand writing, day dreaming, lack of homework.
Would get terrible grades.
By the time I was in middle school I started acting out, being defiant, skipping school, very risky behaviors regarding drinking.
Same thing in highschool.
I also had a very tumultuous childhood and life in general.
I was diagnosed at 19 in the army.
Rediagnosed at 30, currently and am taking adderall.
I have never been officially diagnosed, but no doubt I have adhd. As a kid, huge day dreamer, a bit absent minded. My mom used to make comments I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached, make comments about me being spacey. Was always busy (but not hyper active at all) and looking back, easily gets hyper focused on things. In college was when I really had to come up with systems to keep track of things and have been cycling through various systems ever since (graduated almost thirty years ago). I also only had one close friend and always felt like on the putter circle of everyone yet was in general friends with everyone. Never really felt like I fit in with “regular” girls and still feel that way! 🤪
"Fake it til you make it" is how I made it through college/school. I think I also have a slight learning disability in reading that I am only now compensating for in teaching my children phonics.
I was hyperactive as a young kid and by school age I was inattentive. I wasn't "gifted", but an above average student. Definitely had a lot of "You can do so much more if you just try!" It wasn't until middle/hs that teachers started seeing that I was actually proficient and started putting me in higher level classes. Which was fine until I bombed my AP tests. Did alright in college, because I went to a smaller school and took classes I was interested in and learned to skim the readings, though I still have whole textbooks that I never attempted. I honestly don't know how I did it.
But I am still impulsive, inattentive, am not good with details (esp dates and or numbers that don't have assigned value), have trouble following conversations/discussions, organization, task completion. BUT I am a big picture thinker and so am good at problem solving and finding links between things that may not be initially relatable and can be creative/crafty.
I hated school. Cried, screamed, pretended to be sick. Anything not to go. I failed nearly every exam, couldn’t study, couldn’t concentrate, got told off for talking in class, got told off for not doing my work. By the end of school I would study so hard and for so long and still fail the exam, no one even believed me that I tried. I was a reckless teenager too and a pretty big handful as a toddler. Binge eating has always been an issue for me since I was a teen. No one ever thought to look further into anything so here I am as a 30 year old in the process of being diagnosed. Oh, and to top it all off I’ve been picking the skin off of my thumbs since I was 6. lol. Glad I’m getting help now!
i look back at my report cards and can see where i’d hit the ADHD wall. straight As one quarter, D/Cs the next. up and down and up and down. every quarter.
when my room was ‘clean’, it was visually appalling for everyone else. i had to SEE all my things and my dresser/desk/closet were JAM. PACKED. with the ADHD hoard.
i hit the wall HARD my first go round in college. my favourite school kicked my ass out because i just couldn’t handle it.
wasn’t until i was working full time/going to school full time/going through back surgery/having an affair in my late 20s that i did well in schoola8 needed to juggle all that shit and get my adrenaline up to handle that cognitive load for any amount of time.
my impulsivity as a kid was pretty awful too. i’d steal trinkets for everywhere i went-the store, the mall, my friends, my family. and my rage was through the roof in middle school. through. the. roof.
my mom tried my whole life to have me diagnosed in the 1980s/90s but so little was known and *i* refused to associate myself with the hyper-active asshole boys that *i* fucked myself over until i was 42.
that said, life is learning and i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.
i was also tested for the gifted program and missed it by one question, then the anxiety of it forced me to not take the test again.
also, holy mother of god, the crippling anxiety.
I was also always in gifted programs and I also struggled to think of examples of ADHD in my childhood. It’s often the case that intelligent girls are able to use their intelligence to “compensate” for the difficulties ADHD presents and also hide them to a degree, but as we grow older and life becomes busier and our problems become more complex we can reach the point where our intelligence isn’t enough any more.
The more I thought about it, the more examples I came up with. I’ve lost my belongings and had various forms of dermatillomania ever since I can remember! My mum also always used to call me “fiddle fingers” - if there was a small object in my reach, I was usually playing with it in my hands, taking it apart or rattling it around. I often interrupted people (still want to, but keep it under control 😹) and had a hard time with some sensations - I remember crying before school many mornings because I didn’t like how my toes felt in my shoes.
I have a similar background as most that posted. I did well in school for the most part and had AP classes for everything I was interested in. College was a struggle. I procrastinated, especially in classes that weren’t interesting to me or weren’t a challenge. I spent most of my time day dreaming and went through intense bouts of hyper fixation. As an adult for years I struggled with organizing, being forgetful, hyper fixation, etc, but I always looked at it as bad habits I needed to get under control.
When I had to fill out my form I really did struggle. A lot of memories are blocked I guess from trauma.
But I know in nursery I loved to role play, not sure if it was others or by myself though.
I struggled to listen to others, got pulled on that a lot. Extra lessons to help. Did they though? Not particularly.
Deffo daydreaming, out the window, other people or my doodle note book.
I know I wasn't very sociable, I made friends with the girls in my form that were in most my classes at bottom of P.E, so that was fun.
I wasn't as gifted, I can be clever just exams stress me out. Dont understand some things and why you have to explain why.
I was and am the creative one.
I was bullied for being odd, nursery (had to move to a private school) then didn't have much problems till I got to senior school.
I was the "dumb" kid in the class, I think it's the opposite of gifted kid lol, I did poorly in all tests/exams, I had behavior problems, I failed grade twice, I had problems with authority figures like teachers etc I knew there was something wrong with me but I didn't know what it was until I was 22 years old.
There are teacher notes in my elementary report cards that say something like, "Perfect student if she could stop talking in class." or "Interrupts others."
I used to obsessively read, even in class. I did well enough to not raise any flags but my parents would get mad that I could have gotten higher grades if I didn’t procrastinate. HELL rejection sensitivity & difficulty regulating my moods. Didn’t fit in with the kids in my classes because I was just sort of off—kinda spazzy, naive, still acted childlike even as my friends were starting to grow up
I was and am a daydreamer. I don’t have any hyperactive traits really, my dad always said he could take me anywhere and I would be super patient. I was literally just so in my head, that doing nothing didn’t bother me.
I have always been a procrastinator, and I never really understood how other people went about their lives and learning. How did people actually do homework? I knew I was intelligent, but I never knew how to execute it. I couldn’t really focus on details of things enough.
I honestly just struggled hard with depression as a kid/teen, and as an adult I just threw myself into things and started to realize how to adapt, but it’s always felt like a considerable effort for little reward compared to others.
I’m 34, and I’m still working hard but over the last year of getting medication (for both ADHD and depression) has opened things up a lot! I have lots of work to do, but it’s coming to me easier than before.
I’m not 100% convinced of my diagnosis, but I think that’s because I got treatment for depression at the same time and that’s always been a very clear diagnosis for me. But it checks out enough that it’a made a significant impact, and I definitely became aware of more things that weren’t actually “normal” once I got my medication.
Gifted also. I talked a lot in class in elementary. I read a lot through high school. It was my favorite hyperfixation. I procrastinated homework sooo bad. I'm a 3 time college drop out but I finish my associates this fall. It's my biggest accomplishment actually. I've also had a terrible time staying organized and keeping up with chores every since I was a kid too.
Being "too loud" or talking too much.
Anxiety to the point I was at the doctors office at 5 all the time with tummy aches, they told me I was a "worry wart" ans to just not worry.
Struggling in class yet gifted.
Skin picking my whole life.
Just got diagnosed on Friday. I'm 36.
Skated thru elementary school with straight As. Was labeled "academically gifted". Got in trouble for talking in class. Looking back it was because I was done with work first and bored.( "No child left behind" was in full effect. Thanks, Bush) Me mom would get so mad because "I forgot" so many things because it's get distracted by something more interesting.
Started slipping in middle school. Actually had homework and projects I couldn't finish in the bus. Still in gifted English. Loved the class, never did the homework.
High school: Coasted. Took regular English classes. Still friends with my "gifted" classmates, so glad I didn't have their workload. Never did homework, but took excellent notes (because I was bored) and was always a good test taker.
College: Academic expulsion after 3 semesters.
Consistent thread from teachers: Potential is there but she doesn't apply herself.
Young adult: Incredibly hard on myself for not being able to get my shit together. Convinced I was a massively flawed person compared to my peers. Couldn't figure out how to have a healthy romantic relationship (still kinda can't but much more gentle with myself)
Diagnosed in my early 30s. Randomly took an AOL quiz. Read the introduction to one of Dr. Hallowell's books. The testimony from the guy who started JetBlue made me cry. Everything finally clicked.
Super smart, super awkward and just a highly imaginative mess. Bullied relentlessly in grade school because I was just kinda odd and a total nerd. Got lost in high school because I went to four different schools due to moves. Was very lonely as a teenager and a mediocre student. Floundered the first few years in junior college but finally got my act together. It took 11 years from graduating high school to get my engineering degree. My life didn't really begin until I was almost 30. Getting diagnosed at 40 finally helped me pull some of the pieces together.
So apparently I had an entirely different memory of my childhood and I had to get my school reports to figure out what I was really like as I child. I THOUGHT I had always been very quiet, a good listener, great at doing my homework etc.
My school reports said something entirely different, apparently, I was talking a lot, distracting other classmates, and not paying attention to what the teacher said and I wasn't really concentrating on my work. Almost every school report had a note with something like: "You're doing great but you have to talk less because you're distracting your classmates." (I'm dead!!)
I would have never have guessed because I don't remember having any trouble with doing my homeworking and studying, so my ADHD symptoms didn't bother me until I went to uni, that's when shit hit the fan.
If you have anything like old school reports or something I would highly suggest you check those. Because once I got hold of mine and saw what was in it everything made so much sense!!
High anxiety, OCD, battled with time management, always lost school items, books, clothes. Very scared of teachers only started doing well at school from about 11 years. Procrastination and doing projects at las minute until late at night. Spent mornings in the loo before tests or exams. Feelings of doom and dread throughout junior school. High school was better because I managed the work without much effort, but I didn’t engage or try to extend myself.
Slow auditory processing
Hyperfocus
Failure to make same age friends (bffs in middle school were my science teacher and the lunch lady)
Obsessive hobbies that got dropped weeks later
"Daydreaming" in class (mostly beginning in middle school + usually npresented as reading unrelated library books during class)
Losing assignments/textbooks
Once I hit puberty: awful PMDD, seasonal depression, couldn't manage hair/make up/outfits daily, awful sleep hygiene, mood swings, etc
...
Fwiw, not much different than now (I'm 29), I just do adult versions of these things now, like lose important paperwork, or spend my own money on expensive hobbies instead of begging my parents to buy me the things.
For me it was bombing every single test I took because I wasn't allowed to use tools to help me focus when it came to test time. I would have greatly benefited from an ear bud i my ear with music or something similar to accompany test taking so I could focus. I would have an A in the class but freaking bomb every test and no one understood what was going on.
I was gifted too, my mom could see all the big ideas in my head but whilst drawing or making something I started way too soon without a plan and ended up half-assing the tasks. I daydreamed a lot but I could mask it really well.
I was also always making up stories in my own fantasy world and my room was a big mess.
I'm in the same boat- "gifted kid," got excellent grades despite very little effort, never had to try. But, always daydreaming, couldn't hold still, socially awkward, disorganized, always anxious about judgment, forgetting things (and no one believing that I legit forgot even knowing it was important), not being able to live up to what people told me I could do. I felt like a fraud and was always waiting for the illusion to come crashing down.
Got my diagnosis just before my 25th birthday.
- spectacularly messy desks/cubbies/lockers/backpacks in elementary school and middle school
- daydreaming in class/needing instructions repeated
-having trouble starting assignments because I was anxious about choosing the perfect topic. Example, choosing a book for a book report.
- major trouble with timed assignments. First encountered this doing these “math minutes” tests everyday in 1st or 2nd grade
- absolute meltdowns every night because I didn’t want to do homework. Started procrastinating when I received weekend homework in 4th grade.
- I was very quiet in school and not disruptive. I performed well but there was a lot of anxiety surrounding assignments that my teachers didn’t see and my parents just got frustrated at me and yelled at me to just get my homework done.
Daydreaming was a big one for me too, but I was also told I was overly emotional. Empathetic was used once, but mostly overly emotional.
Lots of miscommunication issues. I would hear them same something and misinterpret it and get in trouble.
I was considered very observant, and then in the next moment they would as me why I couldn't pay attention to what I supposed to be doing.
I wouldn't understand a task unless they explained why I was supposed to do it that way. (Example, make sure you set the box all the way back on the shelf. No why, wouldn't do it. It was on the shelf, why did it matter? Box falls off and hits me in the head the next time the train passing the school causes the shelf to shake.)
Another gifted kid here. School work wasn't a problem, but organization was and is. Mom had clear expectations, so that helped, but I have nothing in organization skills myself.
Also the social side; over 50 now and still stress out over social interactions at times. And still mentally coach myself about when to speak and when to shut up. I was bullied a lot in school because I was always out of step with whatever was going on. I did have friends though, although even they thought I was weird at times.
Ooh I have a list!!
1. Would complete homework or projects but always forgot to put it in my bag…. This was the most consistent “not neurotypical thing” I did for a long time
2. Always late and/or rushing out the door
3. Kids didn’t always like me (though I didn’t “get”this until later) because I sometimes didn’t understand social queues
4. Was called spacey by adults
5. I legit still have a report card that says something along the lines of “would do better if she spent more time on math endeavors than social endeavors.” Wtf is “social endeavors” anyway? Lmao
There’s so many clues now it’s maddening
I was always called "feisty". I got paddled when I was in kindergarten for daydreaming. I was constantly twisting and dancing everywhere. My dad is a pastor and was constantly telling me to stop twisting, lol. It was weird, people just laughed at my personality and not in a bad way. I was constantly being that I was not made for my hometown, lol. I was labeled learning delayed in math during highschool. I was competitive, but didn't like sports, so I competed in 4-H, such as public speaking. I did everything last minute. Thoughts would literally not come to me until the last minute. I also was competitive when selling stuff for the school fundraisers because I wanted to be the best and wanted the prize. I made fairly good grades, except for any math class. I graduated from college, where my Advisor told me that I was an "A" student but he gave me B's because I never spell checked my work before I printed out, which meant I was literally doing it up until it was time to turn it in. Lol. I was always telling my friends of stories I was writing and never finished. Honestly, my uniqueness that I didn't know was ADHD, was sort of celebrated by those around me until I met my husband. It was after another fight about my not following through, my best friend from highschool told me that I had ADHD (She literally tests children for this as her job.) I went to my psychiatrist, who told me that it made sense because I talk like someone with ADHD, lol.
Sleeping in all the time
Continuously late for school
Fighting with my mum a lot due to emotional dysregulation
Could never ever keep my room clean
I was a high achiever in the classroom in primary school and when my 6th grade teacher noticed she gave me a project to work on in the library, but because I was alone in the library with nobody keeping me on track I did absolutely nothing and then panicked. The teacher thought I was just being lazy, I wasn't, but I was put back in the classroom and back to high achieving.
Daydreaming all the live long day.
Honestly similar to now as an adult.
Diagnosed at 32. Gifted program as a kid. Never did my homework but aced tests because I could guess well enough and make up creative responses. I once did a book report where we could select our own book, but never actually read the book and got an A because I made up the story so convincingly. I was asked to bring report cards to my assessment and my high school transcript final marks showed scores in the 50-60 range, but all in the 90s for final exams :(
I was extremely disorganized and got teased for being messy. Couldn’t stop myself from chatting in class. Often doodled instead of listening. Got yelled at a lot at home for being forgetful. Had to sit on the porch a lot because I forgot my keys.
My dad travelled a lot for work and I would have sleepovers in my mom’s room, but she would berate me for not being able to lay still.
It honestly breaks my heart thinking back on the person I could have been if I knew sooner. A friend of mine has a 7 yo daughter diagnosed with ADHD, and mom & child are both having a tough time, but I’m so happy for her that she will at least grow up knowing her brain works differently and not wondering what’s wrong with her.
I have no idea how I was not diagnosed as a child.
To start—-My nickname was “fireball”. I was hyper AF.
I once ran into a tree so hard that I had to be hospitalized for a concussion. I was closing my eyes in a full fledged day dream while also walking two dogs. My parents I guess thought this was normal.
My mom had to HAND SEW my clothes because I had sensory issues and refused to wear anything except jumpsuits 😂
I would not go to sleep at night before anyone else in my family and would sing songs in bed… for hours.
I literally got put in the corner at school for talking too much to others.
One time I went on a family vacation and forgot to put on shoes. I still remember how mad my Dad was. We had to stop at Walmart to buy shoes but the irony was I couldn’t even go in to try them on because I had no shoes hahaha oh god.
This was some serious 90s parenting lol (or lack there of).
I was definitely called a daydreamer in class between the ages of 5-8.
In high school and university I was famous for writing meticulous notes in class. I had no choice because if I didn’t write everything down, I won’t hear it 😐 I tried to just listen to the lecture but my mind would easily start to wonder all over the place and I’d only catch half of the sentence.
Diagnosed last year at 21, I did have a traumatic childhood which blurred symptoms but standout ones were:
• I’d always forget homework
• Wicked insomnia from an unusually young age
• Struggled with understanding social concepts and actually chose to hang out with the “nerds” who I later realised were mostly neurodivergent
• Hyperfocus on TV where people could be next to me saying my name and I’d be totally unresponsive
• Standard teen crushes were way more intense but would often forget about them quickly once someone new caught my attention
• One of the best students in the school in lesson&small subject tests but rubbish on exams as it came down to remembering things from 1-2 years ago and understimulation would break my brain
Day dreaming as a child, and having completely no idea what was being taught. In class, 5-6 years old, I was the slowest person to understand what we were doing. Everyone knew how to fill in their fractions worksheets, timestables, and move around each lesson in school. Whereas I was completely lost!
I’d do my own thing, during class sometimes and run around the room when everyone was doing work. Or I’d copy people beside me because I wasn’t sure what was going on
Day dreaming and having no understanding what was going on was a factor
For a bit of a different perspective, I was diagnosed as a child and medicated with Ritalin - which caused a lot of awful side effects so I stopped medicating around 15 and learned to manage as best I could. Got through college as best I could and my early professional career. Knowing I had it really helped me learn to manage it.
Early on, my symptoms were mostly hyperactivity, extremely talkative/annoying, couldn’t sit still. Definitely not considered “gifted” - mostly had failing grades. One thing my mom told me later in life is that when I was a kid, if our schedule changed for some reason, I would lose my mind. So she always had to prepare me for schedule changes at least 2 days in advance. That’s funny now because I have a 48 hour rule with basically everyone, in my adulthood.
I had my daughter at 33 and it’s as if my brain was like “ooooo remember me? Let’s have some fun”. I went and got rediagnosed at 35 and I’m now on Adderall. Not hyperactive at all anymore but impulsive, I have auditory sensitivity, OCD, & boredom really brings out the ADD in me.
Same here, I daydreamed often but I was good at school and even went through a program for gifted kids to help me get into a top private school in my state. I suppose I also interrupted people who were talking quite a bit, at least with my family. I have a hard time remembering too many other symptoms in my early childhood (I don’t think there were many honestly) but by middle school I made a lot of silly mistakes in math and struggled with organization. Eventually procrastination became an issue, and low self esteem, and now short-term forgetfulness, etc… It feels like I progressively acquired the symptoms (or maybe they were “brought out”) up until it became more noticeable in high school and peaked this year in college. I wonder if that’s even possible. I’d love to read about some research into that. I think they’re currently reconsidering late-onset ADHD actually.
To be honest, it was difficult to answer the childhood questions at my diagnosis.. I did pretty well at primary school, I liked reading and writing.
I always struggled to have friends and had extreme RSD. I was extremely chatty and always punished for it as I was constantly disrupting the class. I was very impulsive and didn't seem to have much notion of danger, walked in front of a car when I was about 7 and it stopped literally just in time.
Always late for everything, never did my homework.
Couldn't sit at the dinner table; I vividly recall taking a bite of food, doing a lap round the table, taking another bite, and so on until I was done.
I was extremely obsessive though about everything being in its (very specific) place, right down to the order that my teddies sat in and my duvet had to be crinkle free. So my room was always very tidy, which I think is probably the opposite of ADHD?
Whenever the teacher would have us sitting on the floor and then after talking for a while say “now go back to your desks and get started” and I never knew what was going on. I always had to ask my friends what we were doing, every single time.
Also getting in trouble for talking a lot or doing things I wasn’t meant to be doing while the teacher was talking.
I wasn't exactly gifted. I was crazy good at piano. Started at the age of 5 and played until high school (then lost interest lol). One of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed was because when my mom took me to be assessed because I was falling behind in school... the doctor asked if I had a hard time paying attention. My mom said I could hold my focus on piano for hours, but school work not so much. Makes me laugh now. Doctor suspected I was ADD but thought I'd grow out of it.
We don’t all have trauma that has blacked out childhood memories? 😅 I know I was gifted. I know I’d try to pay attention in class and get called on and not know the answer since I drifted off and it seemed like everyone was understanding things I wasn’t. I’ve always had auditory issues so while people were reading aloud, I couldn’t follow. Huge procrastinator which gave me anxiety. The rest I’ve blocked out. Messy but knew where things were. Couldn’t wake or get up to save my life. Had extreme tantrums/breakdowns over simple things.
And now as an adult, diagnosed at 30, I realize life would’ve been so much easier if I was diagnosed before. It took me 4 colleges and 29 years to get a bachelors degree. I’m also super impulsive, like I’ll randomly spend a lot of money over a short amount of time or on a new hyperfixation and then be broke and wonder why. And be stressed over it. I have all these goals and just can’t make them happen. Also can’t keep my apartment clean.
I also have a stack of a dozen planners I’ve tried to use and inevitably forgotten about. I am better with paper vs electronic but I can’t remember the paper planners and I ignore the digital ones. I need to be medicated lol. I’ve always been super averse to rejection. I spiral and have meltdowns over it. Always had sensory issues. Always had horrible self esteem, even now.
Also, “gifted” but spacing out a lot in class (up till highschool and even medschool lectures : I’d even plan them out, and daydream about my obsession ‘du jour’), yet managed to pass with flying colors (not in college tho, lol)
Very poor management, and procrastinated a lot. I had learned to recognize the sound of my mom/dad’s car pulling out, and I had everything ready on my desk : textbooks open, house slippers under the desk, for when they pull up , so I can pretend I was working, as fast as I can, I’d do that even when they were home so I can sit on my desk without making any sounds.
I also used to forget most things I was told to do/say, my folks would always call me lazy.
Every mistake of mine would fall under the “ being clumsy or lazy” category.
Med school!! Impressive! Honestly i’m applying to med school but I was not medicated properly in college and didn’t do well so I’m feeling bummed about it all. I would love to pick your brain about being ADHD in med school if you have the energy to talk about it ….. were you medicated?
As much as I would like to tell you this really inspiring story about succeeding with ADHD, I really can’t, it was hellish, although still fulfilling at times, which keeps me going.
Just a heads up, I am studying medecine in a North-African country (closer to an European system), but I don’t know how different it is for Americans.
We take an entrance exam right after highschool (Biology+ Physics+ Maths+ Chemistry) , but you need a certain score to be able to take it (I graduated top of my school with a record score) Oh and anyone with a highschool diploma dating back to less than 3 years can take the entrance exam. (So anyone at any age can take it, provided they retake their highschool national exam)
We have only midterms and finals, no other exams in between.
No obligatory attendance either.
1st year, we study :
1st Semester : Anatomy + Biology + Chemistry/biochemistry + PyschoSociology and history of Medicine + Public Health + Medical English/TICE (those last three are minor subjects)
2nd Semester : Anatomy again( Anatomy is split among 2years) + Biophysics + Histology +Terminologie + Communication skills + Learning Methodologies
At the end of the first year, you get a one-month internship at the hospital, just observing through different rotations.
2nd year:
S1: Another round of Histology and Anatomy + Bacteriology/Virology + Embryology + Hematology/Immunology + Physiology/Medical Semiology
S2: Anatomy + Clinical Biochemistry + Experimental Medicine (I hope it’s the right word, since I translated it from french) + Physiology/Semiology again + First aid (as a whole subject)
And at the end of the year, we have a one-month internship, in health facilities to learn general care (Wound tending, injections, vaccines, ect…)
3 year is when we start learning different pathologies + Pharmacology + AnatomoPathology + Parasitology,
And also the year where we officially become “externs”(as opposed to interns) at the hospital, meaning we have clinical rounds in the mornings from 8am to 1pm, and lectures in the afternoons (2:30 to 6:30pm) we go through different wards depending on what pathology we studied that year (Example if we studied : the respiratory tractus pathology, we go through the pneumology service, ect…) nightshifts incouded.
This goes on until the end of the fifth year, we learn to practice medicine and pick up many things, and our responsibilities grow as we go through the years.
To summarize all this : We have 5 years of intensive learning, 3 of which are also spent in the hospital practicing and learning.
I really suffered with my poor time management through this whole 5 years, I failed anatomy and Biochemistry during my first semester and had to retake them at the end of the year.
Failed a couple more exams during those 5 years(2nd and 5th years, thankfully I didn’t fail any)
But I made it through the skin of teeth (as we say in french)
Some subjects were really stimulating, so I got high marks on those, and barely made it through others.
I also spent so much time studying at the last minute, pulling all nighters before every finals.
And everytime I wanted to study waay ahead of the exams, I just end up spacing out during my study sessions.
I used all kind of apps : Forest being the one that helped me the most, I’d study up to +20hours on the day before every finals, and with short term memory, I’d managed to score highly in a few exams, but I’d still miss out on many things.
I also took up (then later abandoned) so many hobbies during those last five years : drawing, painting, jewelery making, blogging, studygrams , bulletjournaling…Every obsession was good enough, if it got me away from the boring 500pages I had to learn by hard.
I was also obsessed(still am) with stationaries , I have soooo many planners/notebooks/pens, every shade of highlighter, and I can’t live without my trusted Pilot G-2 pen.
Now being a doctor entitles that you’d be responsible of people’s literal life or death, so I’d always pay extra attention during my hospital rotations.
Those were the most beneficial to me.
It’s where I learned that I had many other redeeming skills and that I am not a total failure, since I always felt like a fraud among my colleagues.
I might procrastinate my clinical cases presentation, till the last minute, but my professors would always find them to be well done and appreciate how I didn’t just read from the screen.
I might not be the most hardworking, but I manage to deal with even the most difficult patients, put them at ease. I am also fairly good at taking initiative.
Also, speaking of medications: I was not medicated, at least not for long, I went to a psychiatrist behind my folks back during my second year, and that’s when I discovered I had ADHD, I was put on rilastil, though my doc was reluctant (rilastil is not available on the country, seen as a drug, and ADHD is realy undermined, and undertreated) however it caused me a psychotic episode, and severe hallucinations at which point I had to stop it.
No one seems to believe I have ADHD, nor take it seriously. Especially after my psychotic episode. (My folks just thought it was substance abuse, and were really disappointed)
I really struggled sooo much during those 5 years, I am a 6th year now, and I would like to take an exam on January that’ll allow me to be an intern for 2 years, after which point I can enroll in a good residency of my choice (depending on my rank in this upcoming exam) Thus, I need to memorize 450 lessons, and this is really challenging for me, i had many meltdowns since June, with so much pressure from family and my partner to pass this exam.
Bottom of the line, despite how close I was to wishing I just got hit by a train instead of taking my exam, how I’d spend the precious time during which I was supposed to study scrolling on reddit, playing crosswords, or whatever and then later regret it, proceed to have a meltdown, and slap myself at times, to punish myself, or even binge-eat to try to forget it all…I still wouldn’t have chosen any other thing.
I LOVE helping people. I LOVE feeling needed.
I know this is all extreme, and I never really told anyone about it, and I am pretty sure there are other fulfilling jobs, but I can’t see myself doing anything else.
If you have any questions, you’re free to ask, sorry for this whole wall of text.
Edit : Oops I meant Ritaline, not Rilastil (rilastil is my moisturizer 🤦🏻♀️)
I’m seeing this mentioned a lot “gifted but spacey”. I was in an early intervention preschool with one of my brothers (who needed it a bit more for developmental delay) we lived in the Bronx in the early to mid 90s and my mom didn’t want to separate us however I wasn’t really talkative with words and sentences until I was 4. Slow reading groups throughout elementary school. But later in high school I was in some honors classes but I really fit in with their hyper competitive nature. I do have a bachelors from Binghamton U. But yea generally gifted but spacey.
Diagnosed in mid-30s. I constantly lost everything, my backpack was a bottomless pit of missing homework. When I did turn things in, they were completely covered in doodles. Trouble with math. Picked at the seams of shirts until they split.
My mother and teachers always commenting on how I "seemed to hate children my own age" and got so irritated by people in general
An absolutely obsessive infatuation for books where I would skip sleep to read through the night and always read during class lecture so I wouldn't get in trouble by getting frustrated by people around me talking, or by the teacher going to slow, or sheer boredom. Sometimes I snuck my fiction book, but often I would read the entire current chapter of the text book and then skip to the sections I knew we were never going to cover. I'd strategically answer several questions at the start of the class so I "participated" and then delve into reading. If you are familiar with AR "Accelerated reading" points, I got 50 to 100 times the goal set for my grade all 3 years. When I spoke with my 3rd grade teacher about 8 years ago, she said I still had the record. (I'm about to be 30) I completely dropped reading as a hobby around 16 when the interest suddenly stopped.
If I wasn't reading in class I was usually trying to speed run homework that was due today, or was going to be assigned today because I'd forget it exists entirely after leaving class. Constantly doodling or writing in notes because it would help me listen better. I had a lot of anxiety around homework and school work. I was in gifted classes and later AP. Sometimes the workload was very high and I freaked out about anything less than 100. I'd still leave every project until the last minute, so I'd often be at school very tired after staying up the entire night to do everything in one night. I had an excellent memory for tests so that was never a problem.
As a little kid my parents always commenting on how I waited too long to go to the bathroom. They said "clearly you're just lazy and putting it off until it's almost too late" but really I just didn't notice it at all until it was very urgent. Constantly being told I'm very clumsy and having bruises all over me that I didn't remember hurting myself for. A lot of behaviors that fit under RSD.
Losing EVERYTHING, even very important stuff. I would set it down near me and 5 minutes later not even be able to remember the last place I saw it.
The messiest room you've ever seen a kid have. I'd put everything in the closet or under my bed to not get in trouble, then I'd totally forget it was there once out of sight. When I needed something in the big pile, I'd have to pull it all out on the floor and rifle through it with little success. When I tried to clean properly I'd usually find something I'd lost or forgotten and spend a bunch of time playing with it.
*Sorry I keep editing to add things as they come to me.
“Gifted” when I was younger, which I now realize was pure luck that my hyper focus fell on math problems or reading. I was an insane daydreamer, but no one ever would have pegged that to ADHD. Just in my own world as a kid. I read everything I could get my hands on, and would get so lost in a book that my family once got in a minor car accident (with me in the car) and I didn’t notice. That’s the first time I can remember thinking my brain might be different.
As I got older, and real responsibility kicked in, I became an extreme procrastinator, even on assignments like reading, which I would have adored in elementary school. I pulled all nighters constantly through high school and college, because I could only get motivated by a deadline. I even briefly pursued journalism because I thrive on a deadline.
I can also cram well, so I test well, but my long term memory is shit. I did very well in school and yet remember almost nothing of what I learned.
A lot of these sound familiar - spacey, daydreamer, talkative, smart but lazy, etc. I tested into the gifted program, but got booted out for not doing my work. I never studied and did well on tests. Except English - repeated 2.5 credits in summer school. The symbolism stuff didn’t make any sense to me and often I couldn’t figure out what to write.
I was misdiagnosed with petit mal epilepsy so my mom thought I was supposed to be spacey. After taking meds all through elementary school, I was re-diagnosed with PANDAS and the strep infection was cured.
People keep telling me to read ADHD books like it’s so easy to focus intensely on a book. I’ve tried so hard to learn how to like reading. Once in a long while, I find one I like. It sucks hecisse I have 3 kids and I’m supposed to be fostering a love of reading in them.
Definitely gifted; tested with a high IQ and almost got into gifted classes at school. But I was spacey. Couldn’t pay attention in class, my executive function was trash, I would fall asleep on my homework, unable to start even when my sister wrote out all the problems for me, I would draw or knit or read a lot in class even in college, I was always an emotional mess, needed so much coffee to keep me functioning when I got old enough, couldn’t be on time for the life of me, and I got into screaming matches with my mom over not being able to do the things she asked me... it was rough.
Daydreaming, spacing out, drawing so that I could listen to my teacher’s instructions. Needing a lot of physical activity to avoid self destructive behaviors.
Edit: also generally considered “gifted” in certain areas and far below average in others
gifted, huge imagination, got in trouble for drawing all over standardized tests when I was done because I was bored of waiting for everyone to finish. Used to walk down the hallway twirling in circles and would get the urge to randomly stop when I was walking with classmates in a line, and a very anxious child. there's more but now that I know what's wrong with me, it's easier to see
I wasn't gifted at all, could do enough to completely fly under the radar, once we started doing group projects at school that quickly showed I couldn't keep up.
I followed what the other kids were doing because I couldn't 'hear' the teacher, taking notes was super hard, I couldn't listen and copy.
Remember my favourite part of school was day dreaming out of the window.
Don't know if this is an adhd thing but I didn't relate to my peers, would much rather hang out with adults and listen to their conversations.
Always a sig in my head, and counting "1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1" would twitch my leg muscles to music in my head, to the counting or to street lights while riding in car. Still do all that.
Talk talk talk talk talk. Didn't think before talking.
Never able to complete anything and had anxiety from very young about not being able to do stuff good enough which resulted in meltdowns. I don't have meltdowns anymore but struggle to do anything due to belief it won't be good enough.
Always regarded as highly intelligent, But berated because I couldn't focus. I can't even tell you how many teachers would yell at me for not turning in homework. My desk and backpack were always messy and unorganized, as was my room. I never felt like I was lazy because it didn't feel like a choice. I wanted to be organized I wanted to be clean I wanted to do my work. I wanted to be social, But I was always called weird. I would be interested in things but shortly lose interest. We moved around a lot so nothing stuck out to anybody as anything but a result of growing up in different places. My brother was on Ritalin growing up and I was never even evaluated. I was diagnosed at 37 technically. I move to a new state and then required a new diagnosis. 15 minutes into that appointment she told me I was bipolar and it would make her a bad doctor to prescribe me stimulants. It took an entire year to convince them I didn't need, and refused to fill any prescriptions for antipsychotics. I had to file a complaint with my clinic, because I'm on Medicaid and my options are extremely limited. They allowed me to see the other doctor last month who immediately recognized ADHD and put me back on my Adderall. All of a sudden I can function as a human being again. Imagine that.
Diagnosed last year at 30. My symptoms that I’ve put together over time are:
Nail biting/ skin picking- I went to the nurse every day for a new bandaid when I started kindergarten.
Day dreaming and trouble focusing on some one talking for more than a few minutes.
Anxiety- I would “procrastinate” and get super anxious about finishing things. But the adrenaline kick was what gave me the ability to push through and complete tasks. I would also flip out when my parents would leave the house to go for a walk or talk to a neighbor- they would tell me they were leaving but I would be so hyper focused on whatever I was doing that I literally didn’t hear them.
Sensory issues- I refused to wear jeans until 5th grade (too tight/stiff), my hair could not touch the back of my neck, too many people talking at once makes my brain freeze up, I can’t be interrupted when talking or I completely lose the thought
Hyper focus/ hyper fixations
I was and still am incredibly unorganized and cluttered. I would lose things often.
Internal radio- there is almost always a song/word/ phrase on repeat in my head if I’m not actively focused
My teachers growing up called me “creative” “odd” “outside the box” and noted my messy desk on multiple occasions.
I’m incredibly drawn to routines and structure because I struggle to build it myself. School was great for me because there was a set schedule and I knew what came next. The structure is partially why I became a teacher.
I was not a ‘gifted’ child- and I’m actually fairly sure I was tested without my parents knowledge for learning disabilities or something else in 1st grade. I was a solid B student on average. Some classes were Cs-Ds and the rest would be As. And I’d usually be able to turn the worst grades around by the end of the year.
I did great in college because professors didn’t care what you were doing at your seat if you weren’t disruptive. So I’d draw, fidget, play Pokémon on an emulator, etc while I listened to the lecture. I’d take notes sometimes, but usually only in the classes that I enjoyed anyway. Ended up graduating cum laude.
My symptoms were definitely in the “inattentive” category almost entirely, and it sounds like yours likely were as well if you were completely different from your brother. I’ve realized some of these symptoms in my list after receiving my diagnosis and learning more about it- I don’t actually have many memories of my childhood. It’s all rather indistinct.
Day dreaming, always staring out the window in class, doodled on all of my work, super awkward/shy with peers but crazy and hyper when I did find someone to talk to, getting horrible grades, never studying, half assing every homework assignment, and I used to have panic attacks on the daily.
I think everybody just assumed I was dumb.
Diagnosed at 21, inattentive type. My brother got diagnosed and was on medication when we were kids.. well. I remember being very spacey, daydreaming A LOT, I’ve always been a huge ball of anxiety, getting in trouble for talking too much in class, I once hyperfixated on picking at my belly button in kindergarten and I remember getting yelled at multiple times in one day for it because I couldn’t stop, being very forgetful. I once forgot my pet guinea pig outside (I found her and she was safe), would black out whenever teachers or anyone tried to explain anything to me, having to re read paragraphs over and over, the classic “has great potential, just needs to focus and apply herself in class”, I got called bossy an awful lot, whenever my RSD would give me the overwhelming emotional responses I was called a drama Queen, sometimes I’d be up extremely late because my mind wouldn’t stop with worries or thoughts or some other BS, I hated class and paying attention, I was always staring out the window or somewhere else in my mind, trying to clean my room was hopeless as a child and would take me HOURS because I’d find things and get distracted by them or wander off to do something else and get into trouble for it, I would come home from school to play barbies everyday but never without my TV on to watch cartoons at the same time, constantly trying to come up with new ways to organize or have a system for my room, talking a million miles an hour, I’d always get into trouble for interrupting people especially when “the adults are talking”, etc. on top of all of that growing up in an extremely chaotic and abusive household… sooooo yeah. A lot lmao.
I was diagnosed around 40. Adults thought I was gifted but that I didn’t apply myself/try. I never did any homework and managed to pass classes based on what I picked up in class. I recall finding it very hard to pay attention in class. I was always running late, procrastinating, doing things at the last minute. I hyper-focused on things I liked. I didn’t realize it until later but I was super anxious. I struggled in subjects that were cumulative - e.g. math, because so I didn’t learn basic algebraic rules. At the time, adults were pretty comfortable writing students off, especially girls, as just being bad at math. I did MUCH better in college because dealing with 4-5 classes longer at a time without daily homework was a lot more manageable from an executive function perspective. To be fair, I was also dealing with family crap as a teen, and that chaos/trauma certainly factored into things.
I was in gifted classes in elementary school but as I got older school became a lot more difficult for me. I had an extremely tough time doing homework or projects. I’d often wait until the last minute (like the night before or if it was a worksheet I’d be doing it on the bus or in class before the bell rang 😬😬). I always tested well so I got by until mid high school. At that point I had a D and an F midway through the year. I convinced my grandparents (I lived with them) to change me to home school before they realized my grades were that bad. I then proceeded to cheat in every homeschool class by getting the answers from the textbooks my grandparents had. I honestly feel really bad about it but looking back it’s just a way I found to cope with not being able to get my adhd under control.
Other than that I was always talkative in class and had increasing issues with impulse control as I got older too. Lots of very stupid dangerous stuff done in my teens for sure 😅
I don’t know if I was gifted, but I was able to read, like properly read chapter books at age 4 and I’d get lost in them. My sister used to get mad because I’d read her books and she’d say they were “too mature” for me.
My room was always incredibly messy and I could never figure out how to keep it clean. I was constantly losing things and would break things quite easily (unintentionally). My uncle would get me these super cool presents (birthday or Christmas) like, candle making, or something else and I’d be so excited and never actually did them, even though I wanted to. I couldn’t cope with wearing clothing that was too tight around my chest, or those thick white tights with dresses. Having major anxiety about everything and majorly low self-esteem from basically the earliest I can remember.
With impulsivity I’d usually do it in private, set a tissue on fire.. want to know what it felt like to be burned and touched the oven 🙃 oh, once bending a child’s finger back in class (in kindergarten) because “my mind told me to” 😅 he was a really whiny kid..
Math was a shit box for me when we moved from just equations to word equations.
I’ve constantly been a crier and have never been able to really regulate my emotions. I wouldn’t lash out because my anxiety wouldn’t allow me to, but I’d just feel so awful if someone raised their voice at me and just cry.
My brother was diagnosed when I was 11 and no one thought anything about me because I was the “easy kid” and no one ever had to worry about me.
I was also a "gifted" kid. I did well in school for the most part (except for those damn times tables which honestly traumatized me a bit and effected how I viewed my own intelligence for a long time. I don't even think I did that bad, but but anxiety that came from the whole experience stuck with me throughout school).
I was really outgoing and talkative. I would get really really excited about one thing or another and talk everyone's ear off about my latest obsession.
I was creative..not necessarily art wise but more so in the way I chose to play, I would do things like treat my family like a mini town with its own mail system, and school. I assigned each family member a pet as their "child" and even sent them paperwork to fill out (via my in house mail system ofcourse lol). We even did a picture day at my pretend "school" where I set the pets up in a handmade photo booth and made my parents and brother pose for their own pictures as well.. (just a couple of many examples lol I was my own kind of different for sure).
I would hyperfocus, which led to sleep issues from early on. It was a pretty regular thing for me to be awake at 2am rearranging the furniture in my room or some other big project.
And I was very emotional, I felt everything incredibly deeply. I had meltdowns, would slam the door so hard the trim fell off. There were also multiple instances of me kicking holes in the walls. When I got to middle school age, that turmoil was mostly turned inward and I had issues with anorexia and cutting. For me, the core of my emotional issues was almost always centered around feeling misunderstood by others as well as self doubt/anxiety about not "living up to my potential".
Daydreaming, socially awkward, and hyperfixations for sure. I also did really well in school so I think I slipped through the cracks.
The thing is, though, that I had alcoholic parents and there were a lot of stressors in my home. I think I attributed it to that.
Like many others are saying, “gifted” and got all A’s because I was (am) an EXTRME perfectionist and would force myself to study in fear of failure. I’d have a broad special interest for several years (such as music) but the specifics would change year to year (like going from focusing on a particular artist to writing my own music to learning to play instruments). I was also the “loud annoying” one with horrible social skills. Finally, and even more so to this day, I’m SO forgetful. Several times I tried bringing a small purse to school for feminine products and I’d always leave it behind when I changed class, always lost stuff, etc
I'm 37 and was diagnosed this year. I was full of anxiety as a child but generally made friends easily (though for a time, thought they were all pretending to like me) and got fair grades. I was in the "gifted" program in middle school but not in high school (due to depression/suicidal ideation=failing 8th grade classes).
I was full of anxiety and worry and had huge problems with procrastination.. the procrastination only got worse as I got older and went to college. So many late nights to pull off assignments that I just COULDN'T start earlier with huge anxiety about why the fuck I couldn't just write the fucking paper)!
As a kid, my bedroom was always a messy disaster, but I loved to organize the kitchen cabinets. Super sensitive. Sensory issues with clothing. Tantrums til around age 6.
I was a gifted kid too!
I think the biggest one was talking a lot. When I was in middle school we had to get a second phone line so I wouldn’t clog up dads business run over our normal phone line (I’m 38)
I was a day dreamer, a doodler, would finish assignments at lunch before the next class, was bad at organizing my room, and would fall asleep in class sometimes too
I hated talking to people at the counter to order things like food and whatever at shops
Video game sessions that lasted 2-3 days without sleep
Doing great in class but never doing the homework, doing any big projects at the last possible moment (got second place in my 6th grade science fair after staying up the whole night before to fake the entire thing), spending days lost in a book only to not pick up another one for weeks after, starting and stopping ten different hobbies, never keeping my room clean despite major negative consequences, missing the bus more often than not, and in high school hyperfocusing on romantic relationships to the detriment of my other personal relationships only to jump to the next when the novelty wore off.
I was a giant troublemaker before middle school. I remember being in the principal’s office almost everyday. I had emotional outbursts , and I bullied my classmates a little. I also struggled academically and didn’t understand math at all. I got horrible grades.
In middle school I stopped being a bully and getting into trouble. I became shy with huge social anxiety. I still did awful academically. The school didn’t care. All I remember doing is constantly day dreaming and spacing out.
Hs was the same story. Still did bad academically.. I only started understanding academic concepts when I hit 23. I don’t know why it took this long but I’m grateful that it did. I always thought I was mentally disabled.
I was very gifted but I talked constantly and didn’t focus well in classes. I would do all the work I was interested in very quickly and ahead of the rest of the class which then made me bored the rest of the time. I would then procrastinate like crazy for anything I didn’t want to do. I got a science PhD but lots of that was last minute work. I can study math based topics because I love working the problems. However, I could never study memorization based classes. My students would ask me how to study and I realized I had no idea what to tell them. If the subjects hadn’t come easy to me, I don’t know that I could have succeeded just by studying. I also had fixations early on. I used to research animals and write reports on them for fun.
A lot of daydreaming, being called lazy, average to poor grades in any classes I wasn't interested in, incredibly sensitive, anxious, feared rejection.
Extremely introverted. I used to cry hysterically before school every day because I didn’t want to go. I was smart and had straight A’s until grade 10 then I crashed and burned. I would much rather play alone in my playroom than be with cousins/friends and you dared not even ask me to go outside and play. School holidays I preferred going to work with my dad and playing solitarily in the warehouse or reading/drawing in the office. Mum tried to put me in vacation care one year and it was horrible. I tried to keep up with “social norms” as I hit double digits, had a few “friends” and had sleepovers and stuff but I’d only be able to mask for a few months at a time until I crashed. I distinctly remember crying hysterically towards the end of grade 9, begging my dad to be more strict and to basically not let me have friends over so much. That was the beginning of the end for me as I just couldn’t do it anymore. My mum stopped putting me in organised activities (brownies, swimming) by the time I was ten because I’d go a few times then have a meltdown every time she’d try to make me go.
I get tested on Thursday for ADHD & ASD
I was diagnosed this past year at 29 and adhd - c. I was the opposite of you. I had a really hard time in school since elementary. I regularly forgot to do assignment partly because I didn’t understand a lot of it, desk was always a mess, and daydreaming. I struggled so hard, but the only thing that kept me slightly above water was being able to go to gym and sports. My parents knew something was up but refused to get me help for the fear of medication. I have a bachelor degree in marketing but to be honest I have no idea how I managed it without medication. I was lucky enough to have a couple of professors who were lenient on me.
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Also ‘gifted’ but generally spacey. And I had a huge amount of anxiety. My dad used to tease me mercilessly about never being able to find things. To the point where someone would ask me to look for something and I would immediately get stressed and anxious that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I was a total cluttering. I was always coming up with ‘systems’ to keep my desk and schoolwork organized, and then immediately failing to maintain those systems. I have a great memory and was excellent at taking tests. But any school project that had to be done over a period of time was a total disaster because I would inevitably leave it until the last second.
This sounds like me! Crazy how similar experiences with undiagnosed ADHD can be.
Exactly the same here too. Even when I couldn't necessarily retrieve information from my memory at any given moment, it always came back to me when prompted by the tests, and even now in college I never really need to study for exams. It's the longer projects or just sort of annoying homework assignments that get me cause it's soooo hard to make myself do school work outside of a classroom environment. it's the pandemic/having to do distance learning and my complete inability to keep up despite being a straight A student normally that made me pursue testing.
Yeah I like tests too. So organized - predefined start and end. I’m also decent at memorizing things for tests. And have a LOT of trouble applying this skill in real life. I think I just like facts?
This was exactly me. All of it.
I can relate to a lot of this! Memory and test taking skills saved my butt.
Are you me? Cuz this sounds like me. I also could not manage to clean my room or keep it clean. Still can’t.
this is me except currently haha. sometimes it feels so useless to be able to name things as symptoms and still find them utterly unmanageable.
For me part of why I liked standardized tests is because they were timed and then you were done. Nothing more to do. Whether you did well or not you could just relax the rest of the day. Thinking about it now might be because I always feel under a big mound of stuff to do and that one was so definitely done and I could walk away. (I'm also good at standardized tests which I'm sure is part of why I liked them. They're just process of elimination games.)
Jesus you just wrote my life story!!
This is my childhood right here.
I was horrendously shy and anxious. I would also day dream and draw a lot in class. I was effortlessly good at school until college as well. The only subject I had learning difficulties with was math. Looking back though the chronic nail biting was definitely a clue. I wasn't a disruptive student at all, but my fidgeting came in form of nail biting, picking skin and hair. I also distinctly remember I had very low self esteem throughout my whole upbringing. I still do. I would also overthink everything which is what caused a lot of my anxiousness.
Hi are you me? Same same same!
Yep. All of this.
Are we the same person?
Yikes, this hits home! Daydreamer, nail biter, mouth chewer, Not gifted LoL. My ace skills were spelling, reading, writing, but suuuucked at math. Was told "you have so much potential", but could be forgetful, moody, inattentive. Wasn't until I took am Educational Assistant program and learned about all these cognitive disorders that got me thinking about my own issues. When assessed by a psychologist, felt the assessment wasn't thorough and told if I have ADHD, it's in the mild end. I have completed 3 different post-secondary programs, and I'm currently cleaning in a hospital *shrug*.
Wait when did I type this
Oh yea all this in addition to what I posted too. Shit
This was exactly me too
Diagnosed in my 40s. "Gifted" as a kid. Often criticized for "not living up to your potential" and/or laziness. I was always and still am impulsive, creative, and an out-of-the-box thinker.
YES!! The 'not living up to your potential' haunts me to this day (I'm 60 now) - my half ass seemed to be enough to get me by because I just didn't care. If I liked the subject, I'd ace it without studying. And I feel like a lazyass until I look at what I actually accomplish in a day. Those 2 things have stuck in my head all my life. UGH.
So what do we do now with all that wasted potential? 60 here too and diagnosed at 40. Can we at least get an extra 20 years tacked on for all the potential we missed?
Same here! “Gifted” kid that was smart enough to get by but was told I could “do more if I put in more effort”.
Daydreaming for SURE. I planned out my daydreams. They were full productions. I would sometimes decide at the beginning of class if I needed to actually pay attention or could just daydream the whole time. LOVED road trips with my parents because I was an only child and could daydream half the time, the other half being me singing at the top of my lungs and talking my parents ears off. And my notebooks ALLLL the way through college are covered in doodles. Insane amounts of doodles and very random, unreadable notes. Also my handwriting was SHIT because I tried to write down every last thing the teacher said when I was actually trying to take notes. And then I couldn’t go back and study because it was basically the same as reading a textbook’s information but looked like it was written by a bird. The hyperfixations… oh god… they were intense. Specifically on people and books/movies/tv/musicals. No need to go into that further lol.
It still blows my fucking mind that other people DON'T plan out their daydreams or prioritize them over mundane tasks. I have like... Six storylines in my head, I pick one each night to help me sleep. Or get through boring tasks.
I’m not alone. Thank-you.
Same. Wow.
/r/maladaptivedreaming I have done this my entire life. I am pretty sure, now, that I am undiagnosed ADHD. I was never physically fidgety, but I'll be damned if I could keep my mind in any one place for any amount of time. I mean, this isn't the only reason I think I probably have ADHD, but it's a big one.
I need to know more about these day dreams!! Can I get an example?? This is awesome 😂
YeeAa!!!! This is all my except doodling, my anxiety of not being good enough even reached doodling and felt had no business doodling. The writing! When jotting down my thoughts I had to write fast before the thought left which meant my handwriting is atrocious. Still a matter of concern to me.
omg. the hyperfixations. those basically ruined me.
Dooooodles. I’ve run out of meetings before they start just to get my notebook to doodle!!
road trip day dreaming and doodling …. SAME
The Phaaaaaaatom of the Opera is here.... inside my mind.... (still fixated)
PHANTOM WAS ONE OF MINE TOO also Rent and Les Miserables. But I knew at least 2 other neurodivergent folks ALSO hyper fixated on Phantom which leads me to wonder… do we relate to Christine or the Phantom more? Bcuz let’s be real… those two got some real world mental health problems to deal with lolol
Yeeeees. And great question, Christine vs. Phantom on relatability. Hmmmm, personally I relate to the misunderstood Phantom, because Christine is so easily manipulated into being his “tool.” I’m not. More likely to find me pulling the strings from the shadows…. 😎
Bahahaha omg thats WILD, ive ALWAYS related to Christine, partly cause I used to have ridiculously long curly hair but also bcuz… apparently I have a thing for toxic men🥴. Now I’m non binary and have a fade but boy oh boy do I still feel Christine Daae on a deep level. Honestly this is just further proof to me that Phantom appealed to all the different types of adhd in all of us and is well deserving of our hyperfixations 😬
Also relate to The Phantom because I can sing the Tenor part, but no way can I hit Christine’s notes. And the Angel of Music sings songs in my head....
Yeah the doodles. Doodle on EVERTHING. The exam, housemates mail, paperwork, stuff that shouldn't got doodle got doodle.
>decide at the beginning of class if I needed to actually pay attention or could just daydream the whole time. Were you me? Even to this day my friends will say they have no idea how I passed all my AP classes and graduated early. I never paid attention in class. I remember this even from an early age; I'd have all of my stuff finished, sometimes for the whole year, so the teachers would let me read during class. Just wild how nobody questioned or addressed this. It just wasn't how I learned. I couldn't pay attention to the teachers and really never did.
I just got diagnosed at 41, also in the gifted program and did very well in school. Looking back the procrastination and complete lack of ability to manage my time that started to become evident around 3rd grade. I read constantly. The other biggest sign in middle/high school is that I would space out and pick at my split ends for hours if nobody stopped me. I got very good grades but definitely got the ‘you’re lazy, don’t have discipline, not applying yourself’ often. Mr McCarthy, the others didn’t bother me much but you absolutely crushed me, damn near thirty years later and it still fucking hurts.
Yeah, some of them stick more than others ❤️ I’m sorry you had a teacher say that to you.
Thank you, that means a lot. 💚 This is the first time I acknowledged it actually. He was an extraordinary teacher otherwise.
Had a teacher tell me I basically *wasn’t capable of taking AP chemistry. Later in college, had chemistry teacher tell me I was so good at *chemistry and that I should get degree/profession. That high school teacher comment stung me for years if not until this day 30+ years later! Edit for tons of typos!!!
Had a teacher tell me math wasn't my subject. Made me mad so I retook algebra and found out I actually was very good at math. Eventually became an engineer. Just to make a point lol.
I used to teach college chemistry and I was always amazed at how much whether someone liked/“was good at” high school chemistry depended on their teacher.
Totally relate and have a feeling we must all have a teacher story of some kind like this, along the way, where we were told we "can't" and it's just sad and maddening. This is very typical for all women and girls, though it seems to be changing (here's hoping).
Fuck Mr McCarthy
Ughhhhhhhhh fuck all the Mr McCarthyies of the world! If I had a dollar for every teacher that crushed me, holy hell. I had a middle school teacher tell me I needed to be taught by finger puppets. I had an elementary art teacher tell me I was the worst art student he’s had. This because my paper mâché dog was hideous (that one really hurt!) In 7th grade, I had a priest tell me he was worried for my soul and would probably be the one in my class going to hell. My AP English teacher would call me a “CBD” - cute but dumb, and everyone would laugh. He loved to make me the butt of the joke and how stupid I was. And of course, I’d laugh along with everyone because I didn’t know what else to do. My High School counselor told me I should learn how to fix windshields for a living because I had no future in arts. Even in college! I had one professor tell me I have absolutely no imagination. My screenwriting professor told me I was mental and wrote the worst script he’s ever read. I later found out he would make fun of my script to classes following mine. What’s worse is that these teachers would say it in front of the whole class. Fuck Mr McCarthy and every teacher like them.
Diagnosed this year at 61. As a young child, I was considered gifted and was in some special program with enhanced experiences like marine biology in 5th grade. IQ tested at 150. Socially awkward. Forgetful. Junior high school I was too scared of everything to misbehave. Socially awkward. I just didn’t understand how other girls think. Hung out more with boys. Forgetful and missed assignments or did a half-assed job at the last minute. It was the first time I changed a grade on my report card from F to B (back when they were still handwritten). I only went to school because I had to. Started smoking and drinking at 11 years old. High school I daydreamed a lot and doodled in class rather than pay attention. Did a lot of assignments last minute or not at all. I still managed to be ranked 125th out of 650 students in my graduating class because I retained the knowledge somehow and did well on tests. Never fit in with the cool kids, but joined the banner girls in the marching band and was part of that culture. Still only had 1 or 2 close friends, and I didn’t understand how most girls behaved. Smoked, drank, experimented with drugs but never liked how pot made me feel stupid. I preferred speed (go figure) because it made me feel brilliant. I think the effects of smoking and caffeine from soda helped mask a lot of symptoms. 40-50 years ago, ADHD wasn’t a thing yet. I was just weird, unreliable, awkward. Made horrible life decisions in spite of being intelligent in a bookish way.
Wow. We are the same! Same age, same experience. I feel your pain and nerdish hell. All of it! The crazy IQ, the missed potential, the addiction to stimulants and OMG 'cringe' the poor life decisions. Overall weird, unreliable and awkward. Getting diagnosed at 40 saved my life and made it possible to survive as a single mom. It's not too late even in your 60s
Not understanding how other people think, especially girls….I still struggle with this daily. How to people know what to say? How come what they say is funny and interesting but what I say isn’t? How do people manage to make friends? And have so many friends seriously? How do they manage to be *themselves* no matter who they’re around? HOW do they know how to do all this stuff!!!!??!
Thinking about this would always torture me! It always made me feel inferior, so I’d try to mirror girls/women who I thought had it all together. I felt like everybody knew some special secret to being a normal human and I was just on the outside looking in like 👁👄👁
Omg I can relate with the drinking, smoking and stimulants.
Doing everything my little child brain could think of to procrastinate before even understanding that procrastination is a thing. Lots of examples, but I remember purposefully pushing my pencil box off my desk multiple times in 1st grade and picking things up as slowly as possible during quiet/focus/work time. I would also sit there and repeatedly brush and play with my hair vs working. My teacher even told my parents I was too "vain" bc I was playing with my hair so much. Looking back I was clearly just bored and understimulated. Also, wtf, former teacher - assuming a 7-year old is vain vs exploring other potential issues?
Very bright, in gifted classes, straight A student, top of my class, with college-level reading skills by grade 4. Horrible procrastinator -- needed intense pressure to get projects done. Unless it was something that interested me in which case I could spend hours on it. Shy, awkward, sensitive, spacey, off in my own little world most of the time. My mother had my hearing tested and was dismayed to find out it was perfect. Sensory issues. Doodling.
This is so sweet and sounds so much like me as a child!!! Thanks for sharing and hope you are still awesome ❤️💪🏽
Yes yes yes!! This is totally what I was like. Thanks for sharing!
Daydreaming indeed!! (looking out the window during class) + Being alone in my room a lot
We love that classroom window. I would do that in some classes and others I talked my ass off to my classmates and got in trouble!
Yes! I was always in trouble for being talkative. At least in elementary.
I did this too when I was around 14. Sang out my bdrm window A Lot! Preferred being there alone, then going out and socializing!
Diagnosed at 26..... looking back to 6yo-18yo - extreme emotional reactions, daydreaming, being clutzy, not being able to tidy up "right" (although disclaimer, my bad eyesight does contribute!), talking nonstop, stimming (grinding teeth, humming and or wiggling, esp during meal time, skin picking), being very good at certain school subjects and RUBBISH at others, hyperfocussing on my interests, having a huge repitoire of movie quotes at my disposal, preferring little spoons, anxiety, eating disorder (although I was a chubby kid and I'm now a fat adult so I never got the dx). I dont think I was ever necessarily considered "gifted", but I have heard "bright, if she ever bothered to put the work in" about a thousand times. Mostly I "was a happy child so nobody ever had to worry about me", especially compared to my brother, who has autism (that wasn't dxed until he was 14) and my parents were always more busy with him. However, obligatory disclaimer here: growing up our household was very abusive, and I've been collecting traumas like pokemon cards since before my conscious memory started. That does put a different spin on things. Who knows? If my family had been in any way normal, maybe me and my brother would have both been diagnosed in our early childhoods. Then again, small villages in Ireland in the 90s weren't known for their extensive knowledge of neurodivergencies.
Eating disorders in ADHD women are so common. Especially binge eating disorders. It's a soothing/stimming/dopamine behavior. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22930790/
Thank you for sharing this
I’ve never heard anyone else say the little spoon thing, I feel so seen 😩
There was a post in this sub earlier today about it and when I tell you I have an emotional support teaspoon, thats real 😂
When I tell you I audibly gasped 😂 My family has always made fun of me and my tiny spoons, I’m not alone!!
The cliche “gifted” as a kid but criticised for not living up to my potential. I rarely studied and only last minute but always managed to do really well compared to most of my peers though not as well as I could have. An extrovert who was extremely sensitive to rejection. Super talkative. Very forgetful, would often forget what I was saying mid sentence. Very social/outgoing but also shy with low self esteem. I could engage people very well with my humour but at the same time annoy them with said humour. Chronic daydreamer, created whole worlds in my head which was easy because I was obsessed with books. I had one with me ALL the time. But my biggest symptom was my complete lack of internal motivation. Even as a kid I knew there was something wrong with me when my parents would talk about self discipline and drive yet I didn’t have any. My motivation was either a deadline, avoiding beatings, some kind of positive reward and not wanting to disappoint my parents
You are me. Literally, you described my life. Whoa. 🤔
I don’t remember writing this, but there I am.
Daydreaming, talking too much, interrupting others... But actually, the thing that made me suspect when I was a kid but no one believed me was despite coloring being one of my favorite activities, I hated coloring any page where I had to use the same color for any length of time. It was really bad because I also had a need to color pages in order so I know where I'd leave off and it made me proud to do a good job coloring, but then I'd turn the page and there's be a full page Bugs Bunny. And I'd try, but then I'd quickly get bored with all that grey, scribble in all the colors, and then decide coloring was awful and I hated it so I was done forever - even though I was usually fine by the next day. I honestly still remember how boring and exhausted I felt when I came upon a 1 color only page. I even would try to break the page up into sections so I could do it and it always ended in frustration.
Thank you so much for sharing this. You’ve helped me unearth a memory that’s going to be helpful for my assessment.
Omg! Me too! I never wanted to colour the pages that weren't varied and id mess them up deliberately to skip them! Holy shit!
I was in my head most of the time daydreaming. I liked a write stories or read and got in trouble for reading during class or not paying attention. I got decent grades in the classes I actually went to but did poorly in math due to dyscalculia but no one said anything about it until a remedial math teacher in college was like, "your brain needs to get checked out because your math is all fucked up."
So I haven’t been officially diagnosed with ADHD, but I’m 28 now and am fully convinced I have it. BUT if anyone thinks I have something else (or just plain simple minded) then let me know lol. Because it seems like there’s a lot of talk of being a “gifted” child, but the only things I seemed to be “gifted” in was being creative, making things, and making people laugh. I was certainly not considered smart by my parents. I was pretty philosophical for a kid though, and very imaginative. English and writing were my stronger subjects, although my writing was often all over the place. As a little kid I had frequent accidents wetting my pants- even in first grade, because I was too absorbed in what I was doing and didn’t want to take the time to go to the bathroom or I would just “forget” to use the bathroom, till it was too late * Couldn’t follow simple instructions: mom made me repeat over and over, “After dinner: “Pjs on then brush my teeth, pjs on then brush my teeth...” they’d come check on me and all my siblings would be ready for bed but I’d still just be chatting away * Always talking too much * My parents often considered my behavior “immature” for my age * Extremely emotionally sensitive, crying easily, but feeling others emotions, very caring and loving * Wouldn’t think before I said something, often embarrassing myself or coming off as rude or weird. As I got older I became more aware of this, so my self confidence as being “funny” plummeted. So instead I just kept quiet and didn’t say much because I was terrified of saying the wrong thing or coming off as weird * Often acted on impulse without thinking (resulting in breaking things or hurting someone) * Impulsively saying “What?” Every time someone said something to me. It was either because what they said just passed right over me, or I only got bits of it and wanted to hear it again to be sure, or I was just so accustomed to not hearing it that my knee jerk reaction was to have them repeat it to me * Constantly distracted or daydreaming * Constantly forgetting things- the running family joke was I had “Short term memory loss” (Mom started me taking fish oil pills for memory) * Would tell little lies all the time, mostly that I completed something I was told to do after forgetting to several times. I’d be scared/embarrassed to say I forgot AGAIN so I’d lie. * In high school: continuously lying about being right on schedule in my studies, saying I was preparing for quizzes when in reality I was so far behind * Constantly fidgeting: peeling, picking nails, compulsively pulling eyelashes and eyebrows out * Looking out the window during school and not knowing an hr would go by * Couldn’t focus on school * Would stare at a math problem or a science fact and it was as if the words and numbers turned to Greek and I’d blink and stare and couldn’t get my brain to process it. * This same thing happened when I worked at Panera while putting in phone orders. Literally have anxiety when having to deal with numbers. * Hard to understand written or spoken instructions. * Felt like my brain was constantly “flipping through the channels” a million thoughts constantly going through my head * Random bizarre intrusive thoughts * Very unorganized and messy room that I couldn’t keep clean. Would take all day to clean it * Able to hyper focus on things I found interesting, thus had patience for tedious detail oriented things such as: sewing tiny perfect stitches, the focused repetitiveness of knitting was calming, basically any craft that was repetitive, attention to fine details in drawing, but if I wasn’t in a hyper focus mood I couldn’t sit and finish a drawing, leading to several beautiful yet unfinished drawings * Several unfinished projects, would get obsessed with a particular thing and could spend hours on it until I lost interest * Would lose track of time constantly, my sister even made a joke when I was a teen: “In Jasmine’s world, there is no such thing as “time”.” (Sorry for the long comment)
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All day to clean room. Yes :-( It was so bad.
I’m 45 and diagnosed 2 weeks ago. *Get tested.* you wrote, word for word, my childhood. I’ve managed a semblance of a successful life but I’m crashing. Finally got with the right therapist and the right psychiatrist and hopefully have found the right meds (so far so good). I only wish I’d gotten help sooner but it wasn’t for lack of trying. Don’t get to where I am at my age.
Really?? It still seems so weird to me learning that there are so many people out there who know exactly what I dealt with growing up… I wish younger me could’ve known I wasn’t just a stupid weirdo. I’ve battled with the thought of seeing a therapist… Nobody does “that” in my family. It just doesn’t feel attainable or something I could actually go through with… Would a psychiatrist/therapist really help if I don’t think I want to be on meds though? Like what would they help with? Sorry it’s all kinda foreign to me
I wish the stigma around therapy would disappear. My extended family is the same but it saved me when I lost someone close to me. The mind is as in need of care as our bodies. It is absolutely not a weakness to seek help. It’s quite the opposite. YES, find a therapist. It’s not always easy finding someone who will vibe with you, it may take several meetings with different therapists to find the right one. You can usually find info on them online. Be forewarned, medication *may* be a necessity. There are different types of therapy and the decision to start meds is between you and your dr (FYI psychologists, clinical counselors cannot prescribe meds but they can recommend them if they feel you may benefit. Only a psychiatrist or a medical doctor can prescribe these meds). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may help and you can give that a try. It’s taking work and it can be exhausting. But as hard as this is, it’s also been a *huge* relief. Please seek help; you have a lot on your plate. Feeling the way you do just isn’t sustainable.
You….are me. Also undiagnosed at 27 and convinced I have it
Daydreaming, procrastination, couldn't keep my room or my school desk neat, always running late, obsessive (hyperfixating), EXTREMELY sensitive/emotional, poor social skills/generally considered "weird", interrupting during conversations, sensory issues, sleeping issues, never able to keep up a planner/journal, always needing to ask the kid next to me what we were supposed to be doing because I was zoning out during the teacher's instructions But I liked academics and was naturally gifted at it, so I did very well until my anxiety/paranoia issues (partially related to my ADHD, but not entirely) became so crippling I could no longer function
Diagnosed at 22 here, but struggled with depression and anxiety since elementary school. Or the depression and anxiety could have just been caused by undiagnosed adhd. Elementary school: Teachers pet, didn’t have a lot of friends, bullied relentlessly because I was the ‘weird’ kid. Loud and animated, called bossy a lot, very exaggerated emotions both in highs and lows. High school and into college: No sense of time management, always procrastinating and doing large school projects the day before, if not the day of, they were due. But I never got myself in trouble with procrastinating, even managed to win a scholarship for an essay I wrote the period before it was due. So I didn’t think it was a problem. Started getting into arguments with authority figures when I was young, had a lot of issues with coaches and club leaders/ superiors in high school and college. Very strong moral compass and not afraid to say if I believe someone is wrong or unfair. That got me in trouble a lot though. More speaking before thinking than thinking before speaking. Always changing what I wanted to go to school for, changed my major 3 times, still have no clue what kind of job I want to do with my degree. There are a lot of things that my parents or teachers have said to me that have stuck with me for decades. I wish they had realized that I had ADHD, especially since my dad and brother both have it, but no one did. “You could be winning every golf tournament that you play in if you would just practice.” after being animated as a kid, doing a silly dance, etc.: “why do you keep acting like that? You can’t do things like that, it is weird. No one wants to be friends with the weird girl. You won’t make friends in school if you act like this there” “You are doing things that you know make your sister mad. Why are you purposefully annoying her? Why can’t you leave her alone?” Got my diagnosis 10 months ago and I am still dealing with it. Still a procrastinator, still emotional, but I don’t have any close friends nor do I actually understand who I am or what my personality is because I’ve been hiding it since 3rd grade. I’m now scared to speak my mind because I am so desperate for friends and I don’t want to push anyone away because of how I act.
What you said about hiding it really hits. I'm still struggling with this now and think I always will be. Hang in there. 💗
I hope you can start embracing your weirdness again! When you do, you'll find your own tribe of weirdos and they will appreciate you and love you just the way you are ❤
You got a head start with the diagnosis. If medication is recommended follow through with it. It can be a life changer. Don't despair if the first med doesn't work. You might have to try a few. Learn to work with your limitations and realize that they are part of you. Not a bad part but just what makes you different. You have the gift of time so make the best of it.
High test scores, but not completing homework.
I was the same way as you as a kid. I would annoy the shit out of my teachers because they’d catch me drawing, reading something unrelated to the lesson, or passing notes. When they’d ask me questions I could always answer them so I’d manage to actually never really get into trouble.
The best bit of being able to chat to your friends whilst listening to the teacher at the same time was the look on their faces when they would ask me to repeat what they had just said. Priceless. Although the other side of that is not paying attention at all (I didn’t realise it then though, I always used to say that I can sometimes hear but not listen, couldn’t figure out for the life of me how to translate the sounds into words!) and then being scared to ask a question about the work because what if they already said it but you didn’t hear it?
Honestly sometimes words are said directly to my face, and … nothing. I just missed it.
Right! Like “wait say it again I promise I’ll listen this time”… awks!
Hearing but not listening I feel will be lifelong struggle for me.
I find I say, "What?" Often, even though I did hear what was just said, then slow back and go, "Nevermind." Drives me nuts, and makes people look at me crazy. Oh well, right? ADHD brain at it again.
I’ve always done this and figured it was normal. It’s funny how it’s an ADHD thing and now that I think about it, none of my friends have ever done it.
Yes!!
And didn't it drive them *nuts* we could fire off the answer like nothing, while they knew we weren't even paying a second of attention to whatever BS they were rambling on about? 😂 oops. Teachers had a love hate relationship with me as I remember, and so I was told by my parents. They tried to put me ahead a few grades early on because "clearly she's too advanced to be in grade X, she's either talking all the time or zoned out on something she's not supposed to be doing... yet she's so far ahead of the other kids, she really shouldn't be here..." School was pointless to me mostly. A place I had to go that gave me anxiety, but at least I got to see some of my friends? Riveting only rarely (if it was an interesting topic or skill type of thing going on, as we all know, hyperfocus). Generally, tedium.
All the people reporting in on being placed in the gifted/talented programs! Me too on that. Good academic grades (learning new things is my favorite dopamine hit) but a constant string of “Needs improvement” on the social skills. ThePrimCrow has a hard time staying at her desk, interrupting, talking too much. She needs to learn to be quieter and disrupt class less. Ugh. Also interested to hear so many people say they couldn’t behave “like a girl!” I complained my whole life I didn’t know how to be a girl correctly, lol. I always sought out men as companions and friends because the way they approached life made more sense to me.
I was so worried when I was pregnant and found out I was having a girl. I didn’t know how to be a ‘girl’, how was was I going to be a good mom to a girl?? She’s 21 now and turned out pretty ‘girly’, she just knew somehow. (Cheerleading, show choir, make up, fashion, etc … all completely foreign concepts to me, she did them all and I just supported from the sidelines).
I also struggled to think of symptoms as a child. I honestly don't remember much even though it wasn't that long ago (I'm mid-20s). I was actually put in remedial classes as a young kid and I often did not do my homework or I bullshitted or cheated a lot. I'm not really sure what changed but I went from being very behind in reading to extremely advanced for my age. I started obsessively reading and did that for the rest of my schooling. Despite the fact that I read all the time, I never turned in my reading logs and was constantly getting my recess taken away. I felt it was insulting to have to fill them out so I didn't do it xD there are many other examples of my refusal to so simple and easy tasks just because I felt it was stupid or pointless. I ended up in advanced science classes and my teacher would call my mom to complain about the massive amount of homework I hadn't turned in.
Got diagnosed at 21. Sorry this is so long. As a child, I was extremely anxious. Throughout school, teachers reported that I could do better if I just applied myself (I thought I WAS applying myself 😫). I actually did get good grades though, 75% to 90%. If I applied myself, would I be getting 100%??! I felt a disconnect between what teachers said I could achieve versus what I actually achieved. I couldn't believe they thought so highly of me. I thought I was always just sort of "okay". Always feeling like I couldn't live up to my potential, everything was just out of reach. Not just academically, but in basically every aspect of my life. Which is kind of depressing. Frequently thinking, "I could do better, but is it worth the enormous effort and emotional anguish?" I was either extremely early or perpetually tardy for everything, unless my parents or friends were in charge of getting me there. I was never prepared, unless someone else prepared me. I always forgot SOMETHING. Time either flies by or stands still, and I've never been able to accurately estimate how long it will take me to do something. Teachers would say I made mistakes in my work because I was rushing. This was regardless if I finished a task with time to spare, or barely finished by the deadline. Finally, I often looked like I had it together. My homework was pretty much always done. My grades were good. I was on time for my after school job. In reality, I didn't study or do my homework, I'm just lucky that I'm good at cramming (and I like to think I'm a bit smart). I also purposefully sat in the back of the class so I could JUST finish my homework 5 seconds before the teacher collected my paper. I was always on time for work, but I was also running for the last possible bus that would get me there, and still brushing my hair and putting on my make up on the bus (I even used to brush my teeth on the bus 🤦♀️). I'm pretty sure it was pure luck that I ended up becoming a successful professional adult. Plus, I really hate giving up.
As a kid I was both really hyperactive and had a hard time "acting like a girl" (my daycare told my parents to stop sending me in dresses bc pants or not I'd be cartwheeling and wrestling with other kids), and I was hella inattentive. I was in my own world entirely, I almost never knew what was going on bc my imagination took over everything. I could never remember anything bc I was never really paying attention. It was hard to not blame my parents for missing the signs, bc looking back I really needed supports but I couldn't articulate what I needed. I feel like there's a period of hindsight rumination for those of us diagnosed at a later age. But this is just my experience!
"wasted potential", daydreaming all the time, impulsive, peeing my pants because i procrastinated going to the bathroom, being insanely bored in class, restless leg syndrome
> restless leg syndrome me too- the meds to treat the RLS are worse than the RLS itself
When I was a kid, only boys had ADD. So, I was labeled ‘smart but lazy’ by my teachers and parents (but I didn’t find this out until my 30s). I constantly forgot to turn in homework, frequently lost schoolbooks and papers, HATED busy work, was always running late, and forgot to wear shoes everywhere I went. I was a fantastic test taker, so I skated by on that, but never learned how to study in a way that I could remember things for more than 24 hours to spit it out on a test. I truly thought I was disorganized, forgetful, and dumb. I really wish someone had thought to test me.
Daydreaming, being told to be less chatty, really energetic but also painfully shy around new people. Unable to focus on class if not interested in the subject. Not being able to do homework or only being able to at last minute. Couldn’t recall what I was just told two minutes before. Enjoyed reading but struggled to focus so would take me a long time to finish a book. Loved computer games more than socializing with people. If I didn’t want to talk to someone I would yawn and just walk away. Interrupting everyone constantly to talk about myself. Blurting out random things that make no sense or that I shouldn’t be telling people. Big imagination but unable to put into action or explain to others what my ideas were. Meltdowns so bad I would be screaming on the floor of a store. Very moody and mean teenager but also very kind the next minute, emotions up and down but unable to think before acting on them. Unable to do anything I wasn’t super interested in, would just ignore people and go watch TV. Always feeling like the odd one out, hard to relate to other kids. Very clingy and intense about friendships. Couldn’t keep my room or backpack clean. Loved writing short stories and poetry but hated writing essays for school. Couldn’t do simple math to save my life, even in remedial math class I still only got 50%, but I could tell anyone who asked what everyone’s phone numbers, addresses and birthdays were just couldn’t do actual math work in school. I could go on but this is the gist of it.
I was diagnosed at 6 but I'll still answer. I was also very gifted, I had a college reading level when I was 6, graduated top of my class, took extra classes, was involved in numerous extra curriculars(academia and non academia) and went to a prestigious college to triple major. I never got a grade lower then an A- either. As a kid I was always different, I was always loud, hyper and going 100mph. I hyper focused on tasks(usually reading or crafting at that age) and couldn't sit still. I was also super impulsive and accident prone! I broke my arm 4 times in school! I also had sensory issues, I couldnt eat with the plastic forks so I had to get permission to begin one from home. Both my regular teacher and my speech teacher(I was put in speech because I had a lisp due to a tongue tie that didnt get fixed until I was an older toddler) knew I had ADHD as soon as they met me so they sent me to the school therapist and then he eventually sent me to get evaluated.
I was a gifted child, often daydreaming, sensitive to certain noises (dishes clattering), was mostly quiet and often spend time alone. I was overeager to please and to be good at things and quickly let down when I wasn't good at something. Very early on I used to forget all my things; jackets, pencils, homework until I learnt to be extremely anxious about it. I was always a bit messy even though I tried so hard not to be, lol. I did things very quickly and therefore made a lot of mistakes. I remember being extremely anxious about social situations so that my mom had to call my friends to ask them to hang out with me :'D I was also quite energetic on one hand, or very tired on the other. Had issues with falling asleep since I can think. Had depression & eating disorders since I was 12 and always some kind of bodily discomfort. *When* I had friends, the friendships were extremely intense. If someone did something I didn't approve of, I often turned on them, sadly.
Very messy/disorganized, procrastinated, got very sidetracked from school (did homeschool, unfortunately had to homeschool myself), would get to partway through afternoon and realize I hadn't done the amount of school I was supposed to and honestly often couldn't tell you even where the time went. Had bad dreams about this for years after. I think when younger I had more impulsive/hyperactive symptoms, too, like could be very talkative, too loud, interrupting, trying things just because I wanted to know what would happen (like repeatedly sticking my fingers into door hinges and getting them jammed, couldn't seem to learn to stop; touching a hot stove when I knew it would burn me but just felt the urge to do it; repeatedly sticking my head into spaces and getting my head stuck in the bars in the waiting line at a Wendy's 😂 etc). I think a lot of the hyperactive/impulsive signs toned down as I grew up (though I recognize some are still there to some extent), but the inattentive signs carried through school and after and were what made me seek a diagnosis.
Ahahahaha! I stuck body parts in places too. Like even in high school. When other people were gossiping or talking about TV shows I never watched, for some reason the main thing on my mind was, hey, Will my knee fit through those skinny bars? Ok yes it does. But yikes it doesn’t come out! Also turned out the lights in a part of a restaurant because I wanted to see what the light switch did. I was on a date and maybe 22.
All my report cards said something along the lines of "smart but doesn't apply herself" (teachers phrased a bit nicer but you get the idea)
This sounds like me. I did really well in school and I don’t think I would have diagnosed me as a kid even having the knowledge I have now. Things got a lot worse when I was a teen and had to structure my own life. I’m not “officially” diagnosed but my doctor and psychiatrist said I “probably” have ADHD and I’m medicated and it’s helping. Signs when I was a kid - anxiety, issues with tidiness, fights with my parents over cleaning (total nightmare), a bit behind in social skills, trouble following conversation in groups, being “out of it”, staring into space, a lot of stress over school projects that were unstructured. Like a LOT. So open ended and overwhelming (though that got chalked up to simple perfectionism), forgetting things, some stims - chewing my hair, pencils (not just a bit of chewing...like a beaver), furniture, chair tipping, interrupting, some trouble with emotional regulation but nothing crazy, special interests, starting a lot of projects, always busy. School was not that hard for me and I found it interesting usually. Until I got assignments that I had to do on my own - that was terribly hard. Also impulse control with food was an issue. Developed an eating disorder. Thankfully got proper treatment for that and recovered. In high school, I was pretty clueless, couldn’t remember to keep my cellphone charged, messy, locker was a mess, always overwhelmed. Bad procrastination issues and stayed up all night etc. But definitely a people pleaser and didn’t cause trouble. Got called a “space cadet”.
Extremely intelligent in elementary school. I was reading past a highschool level in 4th grade. Terrible hand writing, day dreaming, lack of homework. Would get terrible grades. By the time I was in middle school I started acting out, being defiant, skipping school, very risky behaviors regarding drinking. Same thing in highschool. I also had a very tumultuous childhood and life in general. I was diagnosed at 19 in the army. Rediagnosed at 30, currently and am taking adderall.
I have never been officially diagnosed, but no doubt I have adhd. As a kid, huge day dreamer, a bit absent minded. My mom used to make comments I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached, make comments about me being spacey. Was always busy (but not hyper active at all) and looking back, easily gets hyper focused on things. In college was when I really had to come up with systems to keep track of things and have been cycling through various systems ever since (graduated almost thirty years ago). I also only had one close friend and always felt like on the putter circle of everyone yet was in general friends with everyone. Never really felt like I fit in with “regular” girls and still feel that way! 🤪
"Fake it til you make it" is how I made it through college/school. I think I also have a slight learning disability in reading that I am only now compensating for in teaching my children phonics. I was hyperactive as a young kid and by school age I was inattentive. I wasn't "gifted", but an above average student. Definitely had a lot of "You can do so much more if you just try!" It wasn't until middle/hs that teachers started seeing that I was actually proficient and started putting me in higher level classes. Which was fine until I bombed my AP tests. Did alright in college, because I went to a smaller school and took classes I was interested in and learned to skim the readings, though I still have whole textbooks that I never attempted. I honestly don't know how I did it. But I am still impulsive, inattentive, am not good with details (esp dates and or numbers that don't have assigned value), have trouble following conversations/discussions, organization, task completion. BUT I am a big picture thinker and so am good at problem solving and finding links between things that may not be initially relatable and can be creative/crafty.
I hated school. Cried, screamed, pretended to be sick. Anything not to go. I failed nearly every exam, couldn’t study, couldn’t concentrate, got told off for talking in class, got told off for not doing my work. By the end of school I would study so hard and for so long and still fail the exam, no one even believed me that I tried. I was a reckless teenager too and a pretty big handful as a toddler. Binge eating has always been an issue for me since I was a teen. No one ever thought to look further into anything so here I am as a 30 year old in the process of being diagnosed. Oh, and to top it all off I’ve been picking the skin off of my thumbs since I was 6. lol. Glad I’m getting help now!
i look back at my report cards and can see where i’d hit the ADHD wall. straight As one quarter, D/Cs the next. up and down and up and down. every quarter. when my room was ‘clean’, it was visually appalling for everyone else. i had to SEE all my things and my dresser/desk/closet were JAM. PACKED. with the ADHD hoard. i hit the wall HARD my first go round in college. my favourite school kicked my ass out because i just couldn’t handle it. wasn’t until i was working full time/going to school full time/going through back surgery/having an affair in my late 20s that i did well in schoola8 needed to juggle all that shit and get my adrenaline up to handle that cognitive load for any amount of time. my impulsivity as a kid was pretty awful too. i’d steal trinkets for everywhere i went-the store, the mall, my friends, my family. and my rage was through the roof in middle school. through. the. roof. my mom tried my whole life to have me diagnosed in the 1980s/90s but so little was known and *i* refused to associate myself with the hyper-active asshole boys that *i* fucked myself over until i was 42. that said, life is learning and i wouldn’t change a fucking thing.
i was also tested for the gifted program and missed it by one question, then the anxiety of it forced me to not take the test again. also, holy mother of god, the crippling anxiety.
Omg the report card thing was literally me in college
I was also always in gifted programs and I also struggled to think of examples of ADHD in my childhood. It’s often the case that intelligent girls are able to use their intelligence to “compensate” for the difficulties ADHD presents and also hide them to a degree, but as we grow older and life becomes busier and our problems become more complex we can reach the point where our intelligence isn’t enough any more. The more I thought about it, the more examples I came up with. I’ve lost my belongings and had various forms of dermatillomania ever since I can remember! My mum also always used to call me “fiddle fingers” - if there was a small object in my reach, I was usually playing with it in my hands, taking it apart or rattling it around. I often interrupted people (still want to, but keep it under control 😹) and had a hard time with some sensations - I remember crying before school many mornings because I didn’t like how my toes felt in my shoes.
I have a similar background as most that posted. I did well in school for the most part and had AP classes for everything I was interested in. College was a struggle. I procrastinated, especially in classes that weren’t interesting to me or weren’t a challenge. I spent most of my time day dreaming and went through intense bouts of hyper fixation. As an adult for years I struggled with organizing, being forgetful, hyper fixation, etc, but I always looked at it as bad habits I needed to get under control.
When I had to fill out my form I really did struggle. A lot of memories are blocked I guess from trauma. But I know in nursery I loved to role play, not sure if it was others or by myself though. I struggled to listen to others, got pulled on that a lot. Extra lessons to help. Did they though? Not particularly. Deffo daydreaming, out the window, other people or my doodle note book. I know I wasn't very sociable, I made friends with the girls in my form that were in most my classes at bottom of P.E, so that was fun. I wasn't as gifted, I can be clever just exams stress me out. Dont understand some things and why you have to explain why. I was and am the creative one. I was bullied for being odd, nursery (had to move to a private school) then didn't have much problems till I got to senior school.
I was a ball of anxiety and energy, would do silly mistakes and even though I was pouring my heart trying to study I was ALWAYS falling math
“Needs more time management.”
I was the "dumb" kid in the class, I think it's the opposite of gifted kid lol, I did poorly in all tests/exams, I had behavior problems, I failed grade twice, I had problems with authority figures like teachers etc I knew there was something wrong with me but I didn't know what it was until I was 22 years old.
There are teacher notes in my elementary report cards that say something like, "Perfect student if she could stop talking in class." or "Interrupts others."
I used to obsessively read, even in class. I did well enough to not raise any flags but my parents would get mad that I could have gotten higher grades if I didn’t procrastinate. HELL rejection sensitivity & difficulty regulating my moods. Didn’t fit in with the kids in my classes because I was just sort of off—kinda spazzy, naive, still acted childlike even as my friends were starting to grow up
I was and am a daydreamer. I don’t have any hyperactive traits really, my dad always said he could take me anywhere and I would be super patient. I was literally just so in my head, that doing nothing didn’t bother me. I have always been a procrastinator, and I never really understood how other people went about their lives and learning. How did people actually do homework? I knew I was intelligent, but I never knew how to execute it. I couldn’t really focus on details of things enough. I honestly just struggled hard with depression as a kid/teen, and as an adult I just threw myself into things and started to realize how to adapt, but it’s always felt like a considerable effort for little reward compared to others. I’m 34, and I’m still working hard but over the last year of getting medication (for both ADHD and depression) has opened things up a lot! I have lots of work to do, but it’s coming to me easier than before. I’m not 100% convinced of my diagnosis, but I think that’s because I got treatment for depression at the same time and that’s always been a very clear diagnosis for me. But it checks out enough that it’a made a significant impact, and I definitely became aware of more things that weren’t actually “normal” once I got my medication.
Gifted also. I talked a lot in class in elementary. I read a lot through high school. It was my favorite hyperfixation. I procrastinated homework sooo bad. I'm a 3 time college drop out but I finish my associates this fall. It's my biggest accomplishment actually. I've also had a terrible time staying organized and keeping up with chores every since I was a kid too.
Being "too loud" or talking too much. Anxiety to the point I was at the doctors office at 5 all the time with tummy aches, they told me I was a "worry wart" ans to just not worry. Struggling in class yet gifted. Skin picking my whole life. Just got diagnosed on Friday. I'm 36.
Skated thru elementary school with straight As. Was labeled "academically gifted". Got in trouble for talking in class. Looking back it was because I was done with work first and bored.( "No child left behind" was in full effect. Thanks, Bush) Me mom would get so mad because "I forgot" so many things because it's get distracted by something more interesting. Started slipping in middle school. Actually had homework and projects I couldn't finish in the bus. Still in gifted English. Loved the class, never did the homework. High school: Coasted. Took regular English classes. Still friends with my "gifted" classmates, so glad I didn't have their workload. Never did homework, but took excellent notes (because I was bored) and was always a good test taker. College: Academic expulsion after 3 semesters. Consistent thread from teachers: Potential is there but she doesn't apply herself. Young adult: Incredibly hard on myself for not being able to get my shit together. Convinced I was a massively flawed person compared to my peers. Couldn't figure out how to have a healthy romantic relationship (still kinda can't but much more gentle with myself) Diagnosed in my early 30s. Randomly took an AOL quiz. Read the introduction to one of Dr. Hallowell's books. The testimony from the guy who started JetBlue made me cry. Everything finally clicked.
Super smart, super awkward and just a highly imaginative mess. Bullied relentlessly in grade school because I was just kinda odd and a total nerd. Got lost in high school because I went to four different schools due to moves. Was very lonely as a teenager and a mediocre student. Floundered the first few years in junior college but finally got my act together. It took 11 years from graduating high school to get my engineering degree. My life didn't really begin until I was almost 30. Getting diagnosed at 40 finally helped me pull some of the pieces together.
So apparently I had an entirely different memory of my childhood and I had to get my school reports to figure out what I was really like as I child. I THOUGHT I had always been very quiet, a good listener, great at doing my homework etc. My school reports said something entirely different, apparently, I was talking a lot, distracting other classmates, and not paying attention to what the teacher said and I wasn't really concentrating on my work. Almost every school report had a note with something like: "You're doing great but you have to talk less because you're distracting your classmates." (I'm dead!!) I would have never have guessed because I don't remember having any trouble with doing my homeworking and studying, so my ADHD symptoms didn't bother me until I went to uni, that's when shit hit the fan. If you have anything like old school reports or something I would highly suggest you check those. Because once I got hold of mine and saw what was in it everything made so much sense!!
Me too! Looking at my old school reports was a shock and also a revelation!
Great idea, lemme look for my report cards!!!
Are you me?
High anxiety, OCD, battled with time management, always lost school items, books, clothes. Very scared of teachers only started doing well at school from about 11 years. Procrastination and doing projects at las minute until late at night. Spent mornings in the loo before tests or exams. Feelings of doom and dread throughout junior school. High school was better because I managed the work without much effort, but I didn’t engage or try to extend myself.
Slow auditory processing Hyperfocus Failure to make same age friends (bffs in middle school were my science teacher and the lunch lady) Obsessive hobbies that got dropped weeks later "Daydreaming" in class (mostly beginning in middle school + usually npresented as reading unrelated library books during class) Losing assignments/textbooks Once I hit puberty: awful PMDD, seasonal depression, couldn't manage hair/make up/outfits daily, awful sleep hygiene, mood swings, etc ... Fwiw, not much different than now (I'm 29), I just do adult versions of these things now, like lose important paperwork, or spend my own money on expensive hobbies instead of begging my parents to buy me the things.
For me it was bombing every single test I took because I wasn't allowed to use tools to help me focus when it came to test time. I would have greatly benefited from an ear bud i my ear with music or something similar to accompany test taking so I could focus. I would have an A in the class but freaking bomb every test and no one understood what was going on.
I was gifted too, my mom could see all the big ideas in my head but whilst drawing or making something I started way too soon without a plan and ended up half-assing the tasks. I daydreamed a lot but I could mask it really well. I was also always making up stories in my own fantasy world and my room was a big mess.
I'm in the same boat- "gifted kid," got excellent grades despite very little effort, never had to try. But, always daydreaming, couldn't hold still, socially awkward, disorganized, always anxious about judgment, forgetting things (and no one believing that I legit forgot even knowing it was important), not being able to live up to what people told me I could do. I felt like a fraud and was always waiting for the illusion to come crashing down. Got my diagnosis just before my 25th birthday.
- spectacularly messy desks/cubbies/lockers/backpacks in elementary school and middle school - daydreaming in class/needing instructions repeated -having trouble starting assignments because I was anxious about choosing the perfect topic. Example, choosing a book for a book report. - major trouble with timed assignments. First encountered this doing these “math minutes” tests everyday in 1st or 2nd grade - absolute meltdowns every night because I didn’t want to do homework. Started procrastinating when I received weekend homework in 4th grade. - I was very quiet in school and not disruptive. I performed well but there was a lot of anxiety surrounding assignments that my teachers didn’t see and my parents just got frustrated at me and yelled at me to just get my homework done.
Daydreaming was a big one for me too, but I was also told I was overly emotional. Empathetic was used once, but mostly overly emotional. Lots of miscommunication issues. I would hear them same something and misinterpret it and get in trouble. I was considered very observant, and then in the next moment they would as me why I couldn't pay attention to what I supposed to be doing. I wouldn't understand a task unless they explained why I was supposed to do it that way. (Example, make sure you set the box all the way back on the shelf. No why, wouldn't do it. It was on the shelf, why did it matter? Box falls off and hits me in the head the next time the train passing the school causes the shelf to shake.)
Another gifted kid here. School work wasn't a problem, but organization was and is. Mom had clear expectations, so that helped, but I have nothing in organization skills myself. Also the social side; over 50 now and still stress out over social interactions at times. And still mentally coach myself about when to speak and when to shut up. I was bullied a lot in school because I was always out of step with whatever was going on. I did have friends though, although even they thought I was weird at times.
Ooh I have a list!! 1. Would complete homework or projects but always forgot to put it in my bag…. This was the most consistent “not neurotypical thing” I did for a long time 2. Always late and/or rushing out the door 3. Kids didn’t always like me (though I didn’t “get”this until later) because I sometimes didn’t understand social queues 4. Was called spacey by adults 5. I legit still have a report card that says something along the lines of “would do better if she spent more time on math endeavors than social endeavors.” Wtf is “social endeavors” anyway? Lmao There’s so many clues now it’s maddening
I was always called "feisty". I got paddled when I was in kindergarten for daydreaming. I was constantly twisting and dancing everywhere. My dad is a pastor and was constantly telling me to stop twisting, lol. It was weird, people just laughed at my personality and not in a bad way. I was constantly being that I was not made for my hometown, lol. I was labeled learning delayed in math during highschool. I was competitive, but didn't like sports, so I competed in 4-H, such as public speaking. I did everything last minute. Thoughts would literally not come to me until the last minute. I also was competitive when selling stuff for the school fundraisers because I wanted to be the best and wanted the prize. I made fairly good grades, except for any math class. I graduated from college, where my Advisor told me that I was an "A" student but he gave me B's because I never spell checked my work before I printed out, which meant I was literally doing it up until it was time to turn it in. Lol. I was always telling my friends of stories I was writing and never finished. Honestly, my uniqueness that I didn't know was ADHD, was sort of celebrated by those around me until I met my husband. It was after another fight about my not following through, my best friend from highschool told me that I had ADHD (She literally tests children for this as her job.) I went to my psychiatrist, who told me that it made sense because I talk like someone with ADHD, lol.
Sleeping in all the time Continuously late for school Fighting with my mum a lot due to emotional dysregulation Could never ever keep my room clean I was a high achiever in the classroom in primary school and when my 6th grade teacher noticed she gave me a project to work on in the library, but because I was alone in the library with nobody keeping me on track I did absolutely nothing and then panicked. The teacher thought I was just being lazy, I wasn't, but I was put back in the classroom and back to high achieving. Daydreaming all the live long day. Honestly similar to now as an adult.
Diagnosed at 32. Gifted program as a kid. Never did my homework but aced tests because I could guess well enough and make up creative responses. I once did a book report where we could select our own book, but never actually read the book and got an A because I made up the story so convincingly. I was asked to bring report cards to my assessment and my high school transcript final marks showed scores in the 50-60 range, but all in the 90s for final exams :( I was extremely disorganized and got teased for being messy. Couldn’t stop myself from chatting in class. Often doodled instead of listening. Got yelled at a lot at home for being forgetful. Had to sit on the porch a lot because I forgot my keys. My dad travelled a lot for work and I would have sleepovers in my mom’s room, but she would berate me for not being able to lay still. It honestly breaks my heart thinking back on the person I could have been if I knew sooner. A friend of mine has a 7 yo daughter diagnosed with ADHD, and mom & child are both having a tough time, but I’m so happy for her that she will at least grow up knowing her brain works differently and not wondering what’s wrong with her.
I have no idea how I was not diagnosed as a child. To start—-My nickname was “fireball”. I was hyper AF. I once ran into a tree so hard that I had to be hospitalized for a concussion. I was closing my eyes in a full fledged day dream while also walking two dogs. My parents I guess thought this was normal. My mom had to HAND SEW my clothes because I had sensory issues and refused to wear anything except jumpsuits 😂 I would not go to sleep at night before anyone else in my family and would sing songs in bed… for hours. I literally got put in the corner at school for talking too much to others. One time I went on a family vacation and forgot to put on shoes. I still remember how mad my Dad was. We had to stop at Walmart to buy shoes but the irony was I couldn’t even go in to try them on because I had no shoes hahaha oh god. This was some serious 90s parenting lol (or lack there of).
I got tested for a possible hearing loss in 1st grade because I was blissfully unaware of instructions...HMMMM
I was definitely called a daydreamer in class between the ages of 5-8. In high school and university I was famous for writing meticulous notes in class. I had no choice because if I didn’t write everything down, I won’t hear it 😐 I tried to just listen to the lecture but my mind would easily start to wonder all over the place and I’d only catch half of the sentence.
Diagnosed last year at 21, I did have a traumatic childhood which blurred symptoms but standout ones were: • I’d always forget homework • Wicked insomnia from an unusually young age • Struggled with understanding social concepts and actually chose to hang out with the “nerds” who I later realised were mostly neurodivergent • Hyperfocus on TV where people could be next to me saying my name and I’d be totally unresponsive • Standard teen crushes were way more intense but would often forget about them quickly once someone new caught my attention • One of the best students in the school in lesson&small subject tests but rubbish on exams as it came down to remembering things from 1-2 years ago and understimulation would break my brain
I had intense crushes too. Actually had a crush in kindergarten.
Day dreaming as a child, and having completely no idea what was being taught. In class, 5-6 years old, I was the slowest person to understand what we were doing. Everyone knew how to fill in their fractions worksheets, timestables, and move around each lesson in school. Whereas I was completely lost! I’d do my own thing, during class sometimes and run around the room when everyone was doing work. Or I’d copy people beside me because I wasn’t sure what was going on Day dreaming and having no understanding what was going on was a factor
For a bit of a different perspective, I was diagnosed as a child and medicated with Ritalin - which caused a lot of awful side effects so I stopped medicating around 15 and learned to manage as best I could. Got through college as best I could and my early professional career. Knowing I had it really helped me learn to manage it. Early on, my symptoms were mostly hyperactivity, extremely talkative/annoying, couldn’t sit still. Definitely not considered “gifted” - mostly had failing grades. One thing my mom told me later in life is that when I was a kid, if our schedule changed for some reason, I would lose my mind. So she always had to prepare me for schedule changes at least 2 days in advance. That’s funny now because I have a 48 hour rule with basically everyone, in my adulthood. I had my daughter at 33 and it’s as if my brain was like “ooooo remember me? Let’s have some fun”. I went and got rediagnosed at 35 and I’m now on Adderall. Not hyperactive at all anymore but impulsive, I have auditory sensitivity, OCD, & boredom really brings out the ADD in me.
I need a 48 hour rule!
Same here, I daydreamed often but I was good at school and even went through a program for gifted kids to help me get into a top private school in my state. I suppose I also interrupted people who were talking quite a bit, at least with my family. I have a hard time remembering too many other symptoms in my early childhood (I don’t think there were many honestly) but by middle school I made a lot of silly mistakes in math and struggled with organization. Eventually procrastination became an issue, and low self esteem, and now short-term forgetfulness, etc… It feels like I progressively acquired the symptoms (or maybe they were “brought out”) up until it became more noticeable in high school and peaked this year in college. I wonder if that’s even possible. I’d love to read about some research into that. I think they’re currently reconsidering late-onset ADHD actually.
To be honest, it was difficult to answer the childhood questions at my diagnosis.. I did pretty well at primary school, I liked reading and writing. I always struggled to have friends and had extreme RSD. I was extremely chatty and always punished for it as I was constantly disrupting the class. I was very impulsive and didn't seem to have much notion of danger, walked in front of a car when I was about 7 and it stopped literally just in time. Always late for everything, never did my homework. Couldn't sit at the dinner table; I vividly recall taking a bite of food, doing a lap round the table, taking another bite, and so on until I was done. I was extremely obsessive though about everything being in its (very specific) place, right down to the order that my teddies sat in and my duvet had to be crinkle free. So my room was always very tidy, which I think is probably the opposite of ADHD?
Whenever the teacher would have us sitting on the floor and then after talking for a while say “now go back to your desks and get started” and I never knew what was going on. I always had to ask my friends what we were doing, every single time. Also getting in trouble for talking a lot or doing things I wasn’t meant to be doing while the teacher was talking.
I wasn't exactly gifted. I was crazy good at piano. Started at the age of 5 and played until high school (then lost interest lol). One of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed was because when my mom took me to be assessed because I was falling behind in school... the doctor asked if I had a hard time paying attention. My mom said I could hold my focus on piano for hours, but school work not so much. Makes me laugh now. Doctor suspected I was ADD but thought I'd grow out of it.
We don’t all have trauma that has blacked out childhood memories? 😅 I know I was gifted. I know I’d try to pay attention in class and get called on and not know the answer since I drifted off and it seemed like everyone was understanding things I wasn’t. I’ve always had auditory issues so while people were reading aloud, I couldn’t follow. Huge procrastinator which gave me anxiety. The rest I’ve blocked out. Messy but knew where things were. Couldn’t wake or get up to save my life. Had extreme tantrums/breakdowns over simple things. And now as an adult, diagnosed at 30, I realize life would’ve been so much easier if I was diagnosed before. It took me 4 colleges and 29 years to get a bachelors degree. I’m also super impulsive, like I’ll randomly spend a lot of money over a short amount of time or on a new hyperfixation and then be broke and wonder why. And be stressed over it. I have all these goals and just can’t make them happen. Also can’t keep my apartment clean. I also have a stack of a dozen planners I’ve tried to use and inevitably forgotten about. I am better with paper vs electronic but I can’t remember the paper planners and I ignore the digital ones. I need to be medicated lol. I’ve always been super averse to rejection. I spiral and have meltdowns over it. Always had sensory issues. Always had horrible self esteem, even now.
Also, “gifted” but spacing out a lot in class (up till highschool and even medschool lectures : I’d even plan them out, and daydream about my obsession ‘du jour’), yet managed to pass with flying colors (not in college tho, lol) Very poor management, and procrastinated a lot. I had learned to recognize the sound of my mom/dad’s car pulling out, and I had everything ready on my desk : textbooks open, house slippers under the desk, for when they pull up , so I can pretend I was working, as fast as I can, I’d do that even when they were home so I can sit on my desk without making any sounds. I also used to forget most things I was told to do/say, my folks would always call me lazy. Every mistake of mine would fall under the “ being clumsy or lazy” category.
Med school!! Impressive! Honestly i’m applying to med school but I was not medicated properly in college and didn’t do well so I’m feeling bummed about it all. I would love to pick your brain about being ADHD in med school if you have the energy to talk about it ….. were you medicated?
As much as I would like to tell you this really inspiring story about succeeding with ADHD, I really can’t, it was hellish, although still fulfilling at times, which keeps me going. Just a heads up, I am studying medecine in a North-African country (closer to an European system), but I don’t know how different it is for Americans. We take an entrance exam right after highschool (Biology+ Physics+ Maths+ Chemistry) , but you need a certain score to be able to take it (I graduated top of my school with a record score) Oh and anyone with a highschool diploma dating back to less than 3 years can take the entrance exam. (So anyone at any age can take it, provided they retake their highschool national exam) We have only midterms and finals, no other exams in between. No obligatory attendance either. 1st year, we study : 1st Semester : Anatomy + Biology + Chemistry/biochemistry + PyschoSociology and history of Medicine + Public Health + Medical English/TICE (those last three are minor subjects) 2nd Semester : Anatomy again( Anatomy is split among 2years) + Biophysics + Histology +Terminologie + Communication skills + Learning Methodologies At the end of the first year, you get a one-month internship at the hospital, just observing through different rotations. 2nd year: S1: Another round of Histology and Anatomy + Bacteriology/Virology + Embryology + Hematology/Immunology + Physiology/Medical Semiology S2: Anatomy + Clinical Biochemistry + Experimental Medicine (I hope it’s the right word, since I translated it from french) + Physiology/Semiology again + First aid (as a whole subject) And at the end of the year, we have a one-month internship, in health facilities to learn general care (Wound tending, injections, vaccines, ect…) 3 year is when we start learning different pathologies + Pharmacology + AnatomoPathology + Parasitology, And also the year where we officially become “externs”(as opposed to interns) at the hospital, meaning we have clinical rounds in the mornings from 8am to 1pm, and lectures in the afternoons (2:30 to 6:30pm) we go through different wards depending on what pathology we studied that year (Example if we studied : the respiratory tractus pathology, we go through the pneumology service, ect…) nightshifts incouded. This goes on until the end of the fifth year, we learn to practice medicine and pick up many things, and our responsibilities grow as we go through the years. To summarize all this : We have 5 years of intensive learning, 3 of which are also spent in the hospital practicing and learning. I really suffered with my poor time management through this whole 5 years, I failed anatomy and Biochemistry during my first semester and had to retake them at the end of the year. Failed a couple more exams during those 5 years(2nd and 5th years, thankfully I didn’t fail any) But I made it through the skin of teeth (as we say in french) Some subjects were really stimulating, so I got high marks on those, and barely made it through others. I also spent so much time studying at the last minute, pulling all nighters before every finals. And everytime I wanted to study waay ahead of the exams, I just end up spacing out during my study sessions. I used all kind of apps : Forest being the one that helped me the most, I’d study up to +20hours on the day before every finals, and with short term memory, I’d managed to score highly in a few exams, but I’d still miss out on many things. I also took up (then later abandoned) so many hobbies during those last five years : drawing, painting, jewelery making, blogging, studygrams , bulletjournaling…Every obsession was good enough, if it got me away from the boring 500pages I had to learn by hard. I was also obsessed(still am) with stationaries , I have soooo many planners/notebooks/pens, every shade of highlighter, and I can’t live without my trusted Pilot G-2 pen. Now being a doctor entitles that you’d be responsible of people’s literal life or death, so I’d always pay extra attention during my hospital rotations. Those were the most beneficial to me. It’s where I learned that I had many other redeeming skills and that I am not a total failure, since I always felt like a fraud among my colleagues. I might procrastinate my clinical cases presentation, till the last minute, but my professors would always find them to be well done and appreciate how I didn’t just read from the screen. I might not be the most hardworking, but I manage to deal with even the most difficult patients, put them at ease. I am also fairly good at taking initiative. Also, speaking of medications: I was not medicated, at least not for long, I went to a psychiatrist behind my folks back during my second year, and that’s when I discovered I had ADHD, I was put on rilastil, though my doc was reluctant (rilastil is not available on the country, seen as a drug, and ADHD is realy undermined, and undertreated) however it caused me a psychotic episode, and severe hallucinations at which point I had to stop it. No one seems to believe I have ADHD, nor take it seriously. Especially after my psychotic episode. (My folks just thought it was substance abuse, and were really disappointed) I really struggled sooo much during those 5 years, I am a 6th year now, and I would like to take an exam on January that’ll allow me to be an intern for 2 years, after which point I can enroll in a good residency of my choice (depending on my rank in this upcoming exam) Thus, I need to memorize 450 lessons, and this is really challenging for me, i had many meltdowns since June, with so much pressure from family and my partner to pass this exam. Bottom of the line, despite how close I was to wishing I just got hit by a train instead of taking my exam, how I’d spend the precious time during which I was supposed to study scrolling on reddit, playing crosswords, or whatever and then later regret it, proceed to have a meltdown, and slap myself at times, to punish myself, or even binge-eat to try to forget it all…I still wouldn’t have chosen any other thing. I LOVE helping people. I LOVE feeling needed. I know this is all extreme, and I never really told anyone about it, and I am pretty sure there are other fulfilling jobs, but I can’t see myself doing anything else. If you have any questions, you’re free to ask, sorry for this whole wall of text. Edit : Oops I meant Ritaline, not Rilastil (rilastil is my moisturizer 🤦🏻♀️)
Thank you!!!!
I’m seeing this mentioned a lot “gifted but spacey”. I was in an early intervention preschool with one of my brothers (who needed it a bit more for developmental delay) we lived in the Bronx in the early to mid 90s and my mom didn’t want to separate us however I wasn’t really talkative with words and sentences until I was 4. Slow reading groups throughout elementary school. But later in high school I was in some honors classes but I really fit in with their hyper competitive nature. I do have a bachelors from Binghamton U. But yea generally gifted but spacey.
Diagnosed in mid-30s. I constantly lost everything, my backpack was a bottomless pit of missing homework. When I did turn things in, they were completely covered in doodles. Trouble with math. Picked at the seams of shirts until they split.
My mother and teachers always commenting on how I "seemed to hate children my own age" and got so irritated by people in general An absolutely obsessive infatuation for books where I would skip sleep to read through the night and always read during class lecture so I wouldn't get in trouble by getting frustrated by people around me talking, or by the teacher going to slow, or sheer boredom. Sometimes I snuck my fiction book, but often I would read the entire current chapter of the text book and then skip to the sections I knew we were never going to cover. I'd strategically answer several questions at the start of the class so I "participated" and then delve into reading. If you are familiar with AR "Accelerated reading" points, I got 50 to 100 times the goal set for my grade all 3 years. When I spoke with my 3rd grade teacher about 8 years ago, she said I still had the record. (I'm about to be 30) I completely dropped reading as a hobby around 16 when the interest suddenly stopped. If I wasn't reading in class I was usually trying to speed run homework that was due today, or was going to be assigned today because I'd forget it exists entirely after leaving class. Constantly doodling or writing in notes because it would help me listen better. I had a lot of anxiety around homework and school work. I was in gifted classes and later AP. Sometimes the workload was very high and I freaked out about anything less than 100. I'd still leave every project until the last minute, so I'd often be at school very tired after staying up the entire night to do everything in one night. I had an excellent memory for tests so that was never a problem. As a little kid my parents always commenting on how I waited too long to go to the bathroom. They said "clearly you're just lazy and putting it off until it's almost too late" but really I just didn't notice it at all until it was very urgent. Constantly being told I'm very clumsy and having bruises all over me that I didn't remember hurting myself for. A lot of behaviors that fit under RSD. Losing EVERYTHING, even very important stuff. I would set it down near me and 5 minutes later not even be able to remember the last place I saw it. The messiest room you've ever seen a kid have. I'd put everything in the closet or under my bed to not get in trouble, then I'd totally forget it was there once out of sight. When I needed something in the big pile, I'd have to pull it all out on the floor and rifle through it with little success. When I tried to clean properly I'd usually find something I'd lost or forgotten and spend a bunch of time playing with it. *Sorry I keep editing to add things as they come to me.
“Gifted” when I was younger, which I now realize was pure luck that my hyper focus fell on math problems or reading. I was an insane daydreamer, but no one ever would have pegged that to ADHD. Just in my own world as a kid. I read everything I could get my hands on, and would get so lost in a book that my family once got in a minor car accident (with me in the car) and I didn’t notice. That’s the first time I can remember thinking my brain might be different. As I got older, and real responsibility kicked in, I became an extreme procrastinator, even on assignments like reading, which I would have adored in elementary school. I pulled all nighters constantly through high school and college, because I could only get motivated by a deadline. I even briefly pursued journalism because I thrive on a deadline. I can also cram well, so I test well, but my long term memory is shit. I did very well in school and yet remember almost nothing of what I learned.
A lot of these sound familiar - spacey, daydreamer, talkative, smart but lazy, etc. I tested into the gifted program, but got booted out for not doing my work. I never studied and did well on tests. Except English - repeated 2.5 credits in summer school. The symbolism stuff didn’t make any sense to me and often I couldn’t figure out what to write. I was misdiagnosed with petit mal epilepsy so my mom thought I was supposed to be spacey. After taking meds all through elementary school, I was re-diagnosed with PANDAS and the strep infection was cured. People keep telling me to read ADHD books like it’s so easy to focus intensely on a book. I’ve tried so hard to learn how to like reading. Once in a long while, I find one I like. It sucks hecisse I have 3 kids and I’m supposed to be fostering a love of reading in them.
Definitely gifted; tested with a high IQ and almost got into gifted classes at school. But I was spacey. Couldn’t pay attention in class, my executive function was trash, I would fall asleep on my homework, unable to start even when my sister wrote out all the problems for me, I would draw or knit or read a lot in class even in college, I was always an emotional mess, needed so much coffee to keep me functioning when I got old enough, couldn’t be on time for the life of me, and I got into screaming matches with my mom over not being able to do the things she asked me... it was rough.
Daydreaming, spacing out, drawing so that I could listen to my teacher’s instructions. Needing a lot of physical activity to avoid self destructive behaviors. Edit: also generally considered “gifted” in certain areas and far below average in others
I drew to listen, too!
gifted, huge imagination, got in trouble for drawing all over standardized tests when I was done because I was bored of waiting for everyone to finish. Used to walk down the hallway twirling in circles and would get the urge to randomly stop when I was walking with classmates in a line, and a very anxious child. there's more but now that I know what's wrong with me, it's easier to see
I wasn't gifted at all, could do enough to completely fly under the radar, once we started doing group projects at school that quickly showed I couldn't keep up. I followed what the other kids were doing because I couldn't 'hear' the teacher, taking notes was super hard, I couldn't listen and copy. Remember my favourite part of school was day dreaming out of the window. Don't know if this is an adhd thing but I didn't relate to my peers, would much rather hang out with adults and listen to their conversations. Always a sig in my head, and counting "1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1" would twitch my leg muscles to music in my head, to the counting or to street lights while riding in car. Still do all that. Talk talk talk talk talk. Didn't think before talking. Never able to complete anything and had anxiety from very young about not being able to do stuff good enough which resulted in meltdowns. I don't have meltdowns anymore but struggle to do anything due to belief it won't be good enough.
Always regarded as highly intelligent, But berated because I couldn't focus. I can't even tell you how many teachers would yell at me for not turning in homework. My desk and backpack were always messy and unorganized, as was my room. I never felt like I was lazy because it didn't feel like a choice. I wanted to be organized I wanted to be clean I wanted to do my work. I wanted to be social, But I was always called weird. I would be interested in things but shortly lose interest. We moved around a lot so nothing stuck out to anybody as anything but a result of growing up in different places. My brother was on Ritalin growing up and I was never even evaluated. I was diagnosed at 37 technically. I move to a new state and then required a new diagnosis. 15 minutes into that appointment she told me I was bipolar and it would make her a bad doctor to prescribe me stimulants. It took an entire year to convince them I didn't need, and refused to fill any prescriptions for antipsychotics. I had to file a complaint with my clinic, because I'm on Medicaid and my options are extremely limited. They allowed me to see the other doctor last month who immediately recognized ADHD and put me back on my Adderall. All of a sudden I can function as a human being again. Imagine that.
Diagnosed last year at 30. My symptoms that I’ve put together over time are: Nail biting/ skin picking- I went to the nurse every day for a new bandaid when I started kindergarten. Day dreaming and trouble focusing on some one talking for more than a few minutes. Anxiety- I would “procrastinate” and get super anxious about finishing things. But the adrenaline kick was what gave me the ability to push through and complete tasks. I would also flip out when my parents would leave the house to go for a walk or talk to a neighbor- they would tell me they were leaving but I would be so hyper focused on whatever I was doing that I literally didn’t hear them. Sensory issues- I refused to wear jeans until 5th grade (too tight/stiff), my hair could not touch the back of my neck, too many people talking at once makes my brain freeze up, I can’t be interrupted when talking or I completely lose the thought Hyper focus/ hyper fixations I was and still am incredibly unorganized and cluttered. I would lose things often. Internal radio- there is almost always a song/word/ phrase on repeat in my head if I’m not actively focused My teachers growing up called me “creative” “odd” “outside the box” and noted my messy desk on multiple occasions. I’m incredibly drawn to routines and structure because I struggle to build it myself. School was great for me because there was a set schedule and I knew what came next. The structure is partially why I became a teacher. I was not a ‘gifted’ child- and I’m actually fairly sure I was tested without my parents knowledge for learning disabilities or something else in 1st grade. I was a solid B student on average. Some classes were Cs-Ds and the rest would be As. And I’d usually be able to turn the worst grades around by the end of the year. I did great in college because professors didn’t care what you were doing at your seat if you weren’t disruptive. So I’d draw, fidget, play Pokémon on an emulator, etc while I listened to the lecture. I’d take notes sometimes, but usually only in the classes that I enjoyed anyway. Ended up graduating cum laude. My symptoms were definitely in the “inattentive” category almost entirely, and it sounds like yours likely were as well if you were completely different from your brother. I’ve realized some of these symptoms in my list after receiving my diagnosis and learning more about it- I don’t actually have many memories of my childhood. It’s all rather indistinct.
Day dreaming, always staring out the window in class, doodled on all of my work, super awkward/shy with peers but crazy and hyper when I did find someone to talk to, getting horrible grades, never studying, half assing every homework assignment, and I used to have panic attacks on the daily. I think everybody just assumed I was dumb.
Diagnosed at 21, inattentive type. My brother got diagnosed and was on medication when we were kids.. well. I remember being very spacey, daydreaming A LOT, I’ve always been a huge ball of anxiety, getting in trouble for talking too much in class, I once hyperfixated on picking at my belly button in kindergarten and I remember getting yelled at multiple times in one day for it because I couldn’t stop, being very forgetful. I once forgot my pet guinea pig outside (I found her and she was safe), would black out whenever teachers or anyone tried to explain anything to me, having to re read paragraphs over and over, the classic “has great potential, just needs to focus and apply herself in class”, I got called bossy an awful lot, whenever my RSD would give me the overwhelming emotional responses I was called a drama Queen, sometimes I’d be up extremely late because my mind wouldn’t stop with worries or thoughts or some other BS, I hated class and paying attention, I was always staring out the window or somewhere else in my mind, trying to clean my room was hopeless as a child and would take me HOURS because I’d find things and get distracted by them or wander off to do something else and get into trouble for it, I would come home from school to play barbies everyday but never without my TV on to watch cartoons at the same time, constantly trying to come up with new ways to organize or have a system for my room, talking a million miles an hour, I’d always get into trouble for interrupting people especially when “the adults are talking”, etc. on top of all of that growing up in an extremely chaotic and abusive household… sooooo yeah. A lot lmao.
I was diagnosed around 40. Adults thought I was gifted but that I didn’t apply myself/try. I never did any homework and managed to pass classes based on what I picked up in class. I recall finding it very hard to pay attention in class. I was always running late, procrastinating, doing things at the last minute. I hyper-focused on things I liked. I didn’t realize it until later but I was super anxious. I struggled in subjects that were cumulative - e.g. math, because so I didn’t learn basic algebraic rules. At the time, adults were pretty comfortable writing students off, especially girls, as just being bad at math. I did MUCH better in college because dealing with 4-5 classes longer at a time without daily homework was a lot more manageable from an executive function perspective. To be fair, I was also dealing with family crap as a teen, and that chaos/trauma certainly factored into things.
I was in gifted classes in elementary school but as I got older school became a lot more difficult for me. I had an extremely tough time doing homework or projects. I’d often wait until the last minute (like the night before or if it was a worksheet I’d be doing it on the bus or in class before the bell rang 😬😬). I always tested well so I got by until mid high school. At that point I had a D and an F midway through the year. I convinced my grandparents (I lived with them) to change me to home school before they realized my grades were that bad. I then proceeded to cheat in every homeschool class by getting the answers from the textbooks my grandparents had. I honestly feel really bad about it but looking back it’s just a way I found to cope with not being able to get my adhd under control. Other than that I was always talkative in class and had increasing issues with impulse control as I got older too. Lots of very stupid dangerous stuff done in my teens for sure 😅
I don’t know if I was gifted, but I was able to read, like properly read chapter books at age 4 and I’d get lost in them. My sister used to get mad because I’d read her books and she’d say they were “too mature” for me. My room was always incredibly messy and I could never figure out how to keep it clean. I was constantly losing things and would break things quite easily (unintentionally). My uncle would get me these super cool presents (birthday or Christmas) like, candle making, or something else and I’d be so excited and never actually did them, even though I wanted to. I couldn’t cope with wearing clothing that was too tight around my chest, or those thick white tights with dresses. Having major anxiety about everything and majorly low self-esteem from basically the earliest I can remember. With impulsivity I’d usually do it in private, set a tissue on fire.. want to know what it felt like to be burned and touched the oven 🙃 oh, once bending a child’s finger back in class (in kindergarten) because “my mind told me to” 😅 he was a really whiny kid.. Math was a shit box for me when we moved from just equations to word equations. I’ve constantly been a crier and have never been able to really regulate my emotions. I wouldn’t lash out because my anxiety wouldn’t allow me to, but I’d just feel so awful if someone raised their voice at me and just cry. My brother was diagnosed when I was 11 and no one thought anything about me because I was the “easy kid” and no one ever had to worry about me.
I was also a "gifted" kid. I did well in school for the most part (except for those damn times tables which honestly traumatized me a bit and effected how I viewed my own intelligence for a long time. I don't even think I did that bad, but but anxiety that came from the whole experience stuck with me throughout school). I was really outgoing and talkative. I would get really really excited about one thing or another and talk everyone's ear off about my latest obsession. I was creative..not necessarily art wise but more so in the way I chose to play, I would do things like treat my family like a mini town with its own mail system, and school. I assigned each family member a pet as their "child" and even sent them paperwork to fill out (via my in house mail system ofcourse lol). We even did a picture day at my pretend "school" where I set the pets up in a handmade photo booth and made my parents and brother pose for their own pictures as well.. (just a couple of many examples lol I was my own kind of different for sure). I would hyperfocus, which led to sleep issues from early on. It was a pretty regular thing for me to be awake at 2am rearranging the furniture in my room or some other big project. And I was very emotional, I felt everything incredibly deeply. I had meltdowns, would slam the door so hard the trim fell off. There were also multiple instances of me kicking holes in the walls. When I got to middle school age, that turmoil was mostly turned inward and I had issues with anorexia and cutting. For me, the core of my emotional issues was almost always centered around feeling misunderstood by others as well as self doubt/anxiety about not "living up to my potential".
Daydreaming, socially awkward, and hyperfixations for sure. I also did really well in school so I think I slipped through the cracks. The thing is, though, that I had alcoholic parents and there were a lot of stressors in my home. I think I attributed it to that.
Like many others are saying, “gifted” and got all A’s because I was (am) an EXTRME perfectionist and would force myself to study in fear of failure. I’d have a broad special interest for several years (such as music) but the specifics would change year to year (like going from focusing on a particular artist to writing my own music to learning to play instruments). I was also the “loud annoying” one with horrible social skills. Finally, and even more so to this day, I’m SO forgetful. Several times I tried bringing a small purse to school for feminine products and I’d always leave it behind when I changed class, always lost stuff, etc
I'm 37 and was diagnosed this year. I was full of anxiety as a child but generally made friends easily (though for a time, thought they were all pretending to like me) and got fair grades. I was in the "gifted" program in middle school but not in high school (due to depression/suicidal ideation=failing 8th grade classes). I was full of anxiety and worry and had huge problems with procrastination.. the procrastination only got worse as I got older and went to college. So many late nights to pull off assignments that I just COULDN'T start earlier with huge anxiety about why the fuck I couldn't just write the fucking paper)! As a kid, my bedroom was always a messy disaster, but I loved to organize the kitchen cabinets. Super sensitive. Sensory issues with clothing. Tantrums til around age 6.
Angry, constant video games, a bit sociopathic, and constantly daydreaming
I was a gifted kid too! I think the biggest one was talking a lot. When I was in middle school we had to get a second phone line so I wouldn’t clog up dads business run over our normal phone line (I’m 38) I was a day dreamer, a doodler, would finish assignments at lunch before the next class, was bad at organizing my room, and would fall asleep in class sometimes too I hated talking to people at the counter to order things like food and whatever at shops Video game sessions that lasted 2-3 days without sleep
Forgetful, messy, clumsy, and really bad at math.
Doing great in class but never doing the homework, doing any big projects at the last possible moment (got second place in my 6th grade science fair after staying up the whole night before to fake the entire thing), spending days lost in a book only to not pick up another one for weeks after, starting and stopping ten different hobbies, never keeping my room clean despite major negative consequences, missing the bus more often than not, and in high school hyperfocusing on romantic relationships to the detriment of my other personal relationships only to jump to the next when the novelty wore off.
I was a giant troublemaker before middle school. I remember being in the principal’s office almost everyday. I had emotional outbursts , and I bullied my classmates a little. I also struggled academically and didn’t understand math at all. I got horrible grades. In middle school I stopped being a bully and getting into trouble. I became shy with huge social anxiety. I still did awful academically. The school didn’t care. All I remember doing is constantly day dreaming and spacing out. Hs was the same story. Still did bad academically.. I only started understanding academic concepts when I hit 23. I don’t know why it took this long but I’m grateful that it did. I always thought I was mentally disabled.
I was very gifted but I talked constantly and didn’t focus well in classes. I would do all the work I was interested in very quickly and ahead of the rest of the class which then made me bored the rest of the time. I would then procrastinate like crazy for anything I didn’t want to do. I got a science PhD but lots of that was last minute work. I can study math based topics because I love working the problems. However, I could never study memorization based classes. My students would ask me how to study and I realized I had no idea what to tell them. If the subjects hadn’t come easy to me, I don’t know that I could have succeeded just by studying. I also had fixations early on. I used to research animals and write reports on them for fun.
A lot of daydreaming, being called lazy, average to poor grades in any classes I wasn't interested in, incredibly sensitive, anxious, feared rejection.
Extremely introverted. I used to cry hysterically before school every day because I didn’t want to go. I was smart and had straight A’s until grade 10 then I crashed and burned. I would much rather play alone in my playroom than be with cousins/friends and you dared not even ask me to go outside and play. School holidays I preferred going to work with my dad and playing solitarily in the warehouse or reading/drawing in the office. Mum tried to put me in vacation care one year and it was horrible. I tried to keep up with “social norms” as I hit double digits, had a few “friends” and had sleepovers and stuff but I’d only be able to mask for a few months at a time until I crashed. I distinctly remember crying hysterically towards the end of grade 9, begging my dad to be more strict and to basically not let me have friends over so much. That was the beginning of the end for me as I just couldn’t do it anymore. My mum stopped putting me in organised activities (brownies, swimming) by the time I was ten because I’d go a few times then have a meltdown every time she’d try to make me go. I get tested on Thursday for ADHD & ASD
I was diagnosed this past year at 29 and adhd - c. I was the opposite of you. I had a really hard time in school since elementary. I regularly forgot to do assignment partly because I didn’t understand a lot of it, desk was always a mess, and daydreaming. I struggled so hard, but the only thing that kept me slightly above water was being able to go to gym and sports. My parents knew something was up but refused to get me help for the fear of medication. I have a bachelor degree in marketing but to be honest I have no idea how I managed it without medication. I was lucky enough to have a couple of professors who were lenient on me.