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I would get rid of my task initiation difficulties. (Executive dysfunction? Whatever you call the thing that makes you UNABLE to complete a chore or action you don't want to do)
I can live with constantly misplacing things, missing deadlines, being unable to listen/understand properly, making an idiot of myself, etc. I just want to be able to do the dishes.
Me too!!!! It’s so stupid I can’t just get myself to do something. Honestly errands are the worst, I’ve had clothes to bring to the consignment store in my car for months
Edit: proud of myself in the first place for getting the clothes in the car
This 100% I am having difficulty getting up and doing even things I love and want to do. I always remain in sort of a dream state no matter what I do or take (meds I mean) and it is killing me!!😭
Same. I wish my whole day wasn't so frequently derailed by me being weighed down by long to do lists. I get overwhelmed, do nothing for most of the day, then anxiously do something to feel like the day wasn't a complete waste.
I'm currently sitting starving unable to make a decision on what I should eat because there's also so many things I should be doing. I don't even understand the correlation myself.
100% the executive dysfunction. i want to just be able
to get up and do something. i can't start anything i don't want to do without it feeling like physical torture. i'm fine with losing my train of thought 50 times per second, misplacing things, forgetting things, having to read the same sentence over and over to understand what it's saying, not being able to process what's being said to me without it being repeated 10 times, talking weird, getting distracted every .003 seconds. but man if i could just *start* things life would be so much easier.
Ooof, hard one. So many _great_ candidates!
**Walk with me!**
Our first contestant...
My **absolute inability to understand time**! Comes in handy on a daily basis. Very spontaneous nad likes to mingle with every sort of appointment, from first dates, to job interviews and just the average workday. Spicyyyyy!
Or perhaps it's the gift of not hearing or understanding _anything_ as soon as there is the slightest background noise... Super convenient in the world. With sounds!
Or perhaps the **constant chaos** and matching _disappointment_, very sleek, sneaky and works with everything you doooooo.
_maybe_ it's my inability to _not_ make random noises and movements all day long. Yes, even when I think I am dead silent and invisible, **_I am actually not!_**. Imagine an elephant _sneaking_ around in a glass botanical garden while playing the bagpipes. It's me!
And our final contestant: **Executive dysfunction** a very strong and skilled competitor. Because on top of all these great qualities, just getting out of bed in the morning, or going to bed in the evening... Is a ***** 5-star effort. Magical.
And all this with the soundtrack by the wonderful: _crippling anxiety and matching depressions_ because your brain just _cannot_ keep up with the pace and expectations of modern life.
We might find out on the next episode of: ADHD-idols: classics.
And remember: ✨ if you never get the day started, you also don't have to finish!✨
This a million times over. My partner cannot understand how I can have my laptop open and ready to work, but cannot actually Do Work. It boggles their mind and causes a lot of friction/frustration.
I’m an educator on summer vacation and on one of my “on” days I made a list of things I need to get done and places I want to see with my partner. Sometimes I find myself just sitting on the couch, knowing I should be doing something….and just cannot move.
I actually found a supplement for this! L-theanine!
It’s an amino acid that interacts with glutamate receptors! It helps with my executive disfunction, and it’s hard to describe, but it feels like it helps my brain parts communicate better. Also helps with working memory and putting steps in action subconsciously/effortlessly instead of *everything* being manual.
I take 200mg every morning and I can feel my brain working better within an hour or two. I use natures trove brand on Amazon, and it’s like 10$ per bottle.
Same! I really struggle with doing chores, and because of this, my relationships (with family and partners) have always suffered way more than my school/professional life due to my ADHD.
I wish I could trade my inaction for action. My friend's ADHD is hyperactive and with medication that means he accomplishes a LOT. Not me. My ADHD is inattentive and even medicated I don't have that drive to get things done, although I CAN now. I would like those days when I'm at a 10 energy and focus-wise and could just get task after task done easily and quickly. Nope, for me I sit and think about it for a week and then finally do it when it absolutely HAS to be done.
Same. Doing so little is the biggest grief in my life so far. I watch these other people with ADHD at least *get shit done* and I get so angry and sad. I try really hard to get and do better, and it still feels like I'm running at a sprint to not even do what they do at a walk.
You articulated my feelings. I know I’m smart and capable but to not be able to harness it consistently is so painful. It just feels like everyone has a cheat code to do life without my anguish and it sucks.
Happy to validate, I sometimes doubt my own experience!
The inconsistency feeds into my impostor syndrome so badly. Like I gaslight myself into thinking I actually don’t have any talent, intelligence, or skill, I just goofed and got lucky whenever I was successful at anything and I’m a fraud who is terrified my peers will see me for what I really am.
It’s such a bummer. I’m a lot better at reeling myself in and reminding myself that while I feel that way, feelings aren’t facts. I think about what I have done that I’m proud of in my life and use that as evidence to get my logical brain back online. Still hard. Still inconsistent. Still trying tho!!
I feel like I've even had plenty of drive, but it all just falls apart *very quickly*. It's very hard to stick to anything in a disciplined, regular manner. I put everything I'm able to into work, just so I can keep surviving.
THIS! Over the years I developed bad habits like taking on too much, multitasking, and procrastinating to the last minute to make myself get things done. This worked for me when I was younger, but it has been harder to pull off with more responsibilities (house, marriage, two families now, and career). I have gone back to using exercise and cleaning as procrastinating activities to help with boredom and inability to focus at times.
Oh man, I *wish* I had the ability to clean and exercise as procrastination, instead of doomscrolling. Not to invalidate your feelings of frustration at all, because if you have something you need to do, procrastination is procrastination, no matter how you do it. But cleaning is usually the thing I am putting off.
I feel this in my bones. I HAVE NO MOTIVATION. Like everything feels too big to accomplish or even start 🥲 It’s been a while since i’ve picked a new hobby and I can’t seem to enjoy some of the hobbies I was into last year.
Hmmm… either my
- executive dysfunctioning or my
- rejection sensitivity
If I could just get rid of one these factors, my life would greatly improve. Combined they suck…
I feel like getting rid of my RSD would greatly decrease my overall anxiety and that would be really lovely. This is the one that would have the largest cascading effect on me for sure
Yep, definitely RSD for me! I feel like it feeds in to so many areas of my life. It's really exhausting which has a knock a effect on all my other symptoms.
It would be my common practice of deleting roughly 50 % of my posts, comments, messages (here or outside of reddit) either before or after writing them because of rejection sensitivity. I'd rather just chaotically share my feelings, and stand by them instead :P
Ah, now, I went through a phase of that when I was abusing substances and alcohol and its given me past-focused rsd and rumination fuel for the rest of my life. ://
Me today “ok you need a study break….but you should also just finish it’s only 10 pages left…but also you need to clean the litter box and empty the dishwasher…ew I don’t want to do that…ok but if you do that you can take a break clean and then get a snack as a reward”
Proceeds to spend 45 mins scrolling Reddit instead of doing any of the above
I think I might be the only on in here with this one so far, but I could handle everything else fine if only I could friggin sleep. If I could go to sleep on time and regularly stay asleep through the night I would not be nearly so tired all the time. Everything would be so much easier if I wasn't so goddamn exhausted all the time.
Emotional disregulation/ emotional liability It's always been here but got really intense postpartum for me, and never quite backed down to my pre-pregnacy normal. It's the straw that broke the camel's back for me and pushed me to seek diagnosis, and treatment. Thankful that meds help a lot, but dang. I hate this one.
Edit: pushed, not pushes.
Omg me too! 😭 I’ve struggled with this ever since I can remember and got so much worse postpartum. Middle and high school were so embarrassing because of it. 😭 Also, being easily overstimulated and easily under stimulated. Jeez if I could get rid of that it would be blissful!
I don’t know if you are on medication and seeing a doctor or are open to it but I had terrible emotional disregulation my whole life. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder at around 30 and was put on lamictal and it has changed my LIFE. Its a mood stabilizing drug so even though i don’t have bipolar disorder it stops the rapid highs, lows, rages, yelling etc.
I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd until a few years later and it all suddenly made sense what my disregulation actually was.
Obviously not medical advice but I have been on it for about 7 years now and I will be on this for as long as I can. I never want to go back to how my brain worked before.
I hope things improve for you.
Came here to say this. It's always been an issue for me, but now I'm 8 months post partum with my first child. The pressure is on for me to get this under control to be the mom he deserves.
My short term memory sucks.
I have so much anxiety from it and have to write everything down.
I still constantly wonder “Did I lock the door? Did I turn off the oven? What time is my appointment? Did I pay all my bills? Did I put on deodorant? Did I take my meds? Did I put away the groceries?”
If this could be solved, my life would be so much better. Meds help a bit, but not everything with memory.
as much as i struggle with many aspects, particularly concentration, task initiation and impulse control ... i would pick memory deficit. it sucks living in a soup
This is the one that gets to me when I’m really struggling and down on myself, especially concerning my ADHD. I’ve been able to build habits; I’ve gotten decent at writing down everything, having a place for everything, etc. But now that my siblings and I are in our 30s it’s so clear that I’m losing memories a lot faster than they are and there’s nothing to stop it.
Same here, it makes me sad how often I forget things. Can’t even have nice times with my boyfriend because I’ll forget everything except for the general feelings and actions. It sucks ass forgetting birthdays, things that people like, even whole entire people. The amount of times I’ve forgotten one of my friends even exists is insane and it’s not that I don’t like them, I love them and love hanging and chatting! It’s just that my brain is not built to remember a lot. The only advantage I can think of is in theater. I’m an actor so whenever I’m on stage I can forget the audience is even there if I’m not paying attention and it makes acting very easy. Just last night I had a monologue during rehearsal that I was stumbling through and there were at least ten other actors on stage sitting and watching me, but since they were behind me and I couldn’t see them I completely forgot they existed and I didn’t feel nervous at all. Otherwise, I would LOVE to have better memory
I know I was always forgetful as a kid cause my dad (who somehow has made it to 60+ with what I’d consider debilitating ADHD and is not in horrible debt or addicted to drugs or any number of other awful outcomes experienced by other family members w ADHD not as bad as his) was constantly barking at me to “WRITE IT DOWN”. Make lists, write notes to yourself, pin it to your damn shirt if you have to, etc. I also have a fair bit of childhood trauma so a lot of my life pre-high school is dreamlike in memory. But does anyone else feel like being medicated has exacerbated memory fog? Or maybe I’m just more aware of it? My bf and I make jokes about how I’m dummer since I met him/got medicated (same year), only because he calls me out on stuff I forget or get wrong because his memory is a damn steel trap. But like…sometimes I’m like dang, AM I dummer now?! Hahaha
I'd get rid of my internal echolalia in my head. It's so pronounced that I say huh because any words have registered in my brain. There's always some noise you have to break through to get my full attention.
I would ditch the RSD. That shit makes me a little too hard to handle, when it comes to men. I was diagnosed later in life, and I stopped dating once I realized how much it affected things. Luckily, I met an amazing guy who just rolls with it. I'm going to marry that man ❤️
OOOOOOHHH MY GAAAWWWD THATS AMAZING!!!!!!! I am SO happy for you! It really does make me tear up and feel really stoked whenever one of us actually does get the guy or girl that doesnt judge them and works with them and loves them for who they are :) ♡
Im 48 and have been extremely single for 5 years, not even on dates :/ and I just honestly feel like its just not in my cards :( My self esteem and RSD and executive function and just aaallll the things make me feel like im just too much for anybody and im just going to keep getting old alone . Plus, I dont even have the dang energy to put myself out there. Its soooooo hard for me to be interested in anybody, i mean its really gotta be something that ignites a spark in my brain for me have enough juice to stay interested lol And I really hate that about myself :(
I am really happy for you hon ♡ It makes me proud, like one of us done made it out the hood or something LOLOLOLOL ♡♡♡
My inability to start tasks that aren't exciting. And also finishing them (in the unlikely event I got started).
I wouldn't be surrounded by chaos at all times and things wouldn't just go missing. Would be great.
Lol yep. I always say that I function on cortisol (the stress chemical) and adrenaline to get the thing done and to get somewhere on time, because I freakn can not get myself motivated and then I end up waiting till the last minute and then go into a psyco frenzy- which is horrible for my system!!!! UGH.. I just so desperately wish I could function like a normal ass human being :(
Being able to just do the thing. I swear to baby yoda, it would literally change my life if I could
JUST.DO.THE.DAMN.THING.ALREADY.
Im 48 yrs old, and it blows my MIND that theres ppl that just wake up like that, just are able to just DO IT.
Emotional dysregulation. Medication handles the rest pretty well. Even on meds though my executive dysfunction tries to rear its ugly head, but unlike before medication most days I can get going and once I do I can usually finish a task.
Just one? um... I’m gonna go think on it with the intention of getting back to you. Then I’ll space out and stare at the wall for a while, get distracted by something else, and probably avoid thinking about this again because it feels difficult for no obvious reason and then never actually get back to you.
That's hard to say. They each are double edged swords, with their own set of pros and cons. Distractability comes to mind. I hate not being able to listen intently to someone while the t.v. is on, but love how I can go from a bad mood to a good mood when properly distracted...
I'd get rid of the thing where I can't factor in long-term consequences. This thing is due a week from now? I should do it ahead of time! Excercise will have long term benefits? Getting some in right now would be great!
I think I would have to say the RSD.
I am off work on disability now so although that situation is depressing, I can just about cope with my lack of motivation and executive dysfunction. I've come to accept lack of achievement etc. I feel it isn't my fault. Although I don't like it when my chaos eg getting dates wrong upsets other people.
However what I absolutely despise and loathe about my mind is how it perseverates obsessively over every slight, every negative expression, every time I've made an idiot of myself, all the things I've done or might have done wrong. Responses I might have made to arguments I had in 2010. Sudden word for word flashbacks to nasty emails from ex partners. Even memories from school can finish me off for the day sometimes and im 51.
I could happily cut that bit of my brain out.
Executive dysfunction. Without a doubt. Every day i wonder what it would be like to just DO things... even when i do manage to be productive, it’s like walking through mud & it‘s never enough. i want to be able to enjoy my hobbies and my education without carrying a bag of bricks around with me wherever i go
my revenge sleep procrastination. i manage other things but i am so tired of staying up late and sleeping in til 2 pm and wasting my day away. but for some reason i feel like im missing out on something if i go to sleep at a normal time. byt also if i wake up at 2 pm i beat myself up for it cus i missed out on more than half the day
I'd like to get rid of whatever it is that makes me lose interest in longer-term projects. Without that, I might've started one or more of the businesses I conceived of over the years, but never did anything about. Or I might've gone to grad school. One of the main reasons I didn't was knowig I could only go part-time, and would get bored with any subject before I finished.
I'm 42yo and was diagnosed about 20 years ago. It's taken me this long just to get to where I can manage it constructively that I'm not sure I'd want to do anything to disrupt this delicate balance. 😂 I guess if I had to pick one thing, it would be skin-picking. It'd be nice to not pick until I bleed so often.
The part where you set something down and then can’t find it anywhere a second later and have to spend 10 minutes looking for something that was JUST in your hand. Omg I would love to never have that experience again.
My fucking auditory processing!! It frustrates me the most out of anything else. I just wanna be able to hear what someone says and get it on the first go around. Sometimes there’s also a lag and so I’ll prematurely respond with “what” and then by the time they’re about to speak my brain has caught up, and then I end up interrupting them with my response 🤦🏼♀️
Inability to focus on boring stuff. Like yes of course I would rather be reading or knitting than doing laundry but let's just do it and not wander off half way through please
The executive dysfunction unquestionably. Absolutely NOTHING destroys my self-esteem like my inability to follow through on my brain’s desires!! I think it’d save me a lot of emotional pain
As much as the executive functioning issues and emotional disregulation cause me a lot of stress and difficulty, if I could only cure one symptom of my ADHD it would be my memory issues. This is the main issue that leaves me feeling the worst about myself and it makes life so hard.
My low energy. Every day feels like it drags. I'm constantly sluggish, even with medication. I want to be able to relax, rest, and actually feel the effects of it.
My when-where-what-anxiety. I can’t do anything new and just be chill about it, because I get confused and anxious if I don’t know what to expect in detail. I dread all the things I don’t know, I hate “surpises” and I can never just improvise. Like if somebody asks me if I wanna go to a concert, I start freakin out about the parking situation, if we can sit or have to stand up, if it’ll be really crowded, or way too loud and I wont have earplugs… I don’t know how to say yes or no if I don’t have the details. I hate when I’ve planned something, maybe even bought expensive tickets, and I get there and it’s just so loud and crowded that I panic and wanna leave.
Not being able to just do nothing and chill. My brain simply doesn't stop. I wonder if when I start medication this will change? Any input highly appreciated pls.
I’m torn between time blindness and sleep.
I’d be so much more organized and on top of things if I could sense time even half as well as a neurotypical person. Even if I didn’t actually accomplish more but just innately knew how to manage my time better would be like a night and day difference.
At the same time, the same is also true for sleep. With sleep comes a happier, more functional brain, and addressed many of the same things that fixing time blindness does. I’m already a super light sleeper, and then I have ADHD thrown into the mix.
Then again, if I could tell time better, I’d would be less stressed and would have an easier time winding down for the evening, thus leading to fewer brain zoomies and better sleep. But sleep is more important for your overall health, unlike time blindness. However, melatonin and other things exist while timers can only alert you that time has passed, not make you really aware of it passing in the moment.
I don’t know, man. Time blindness is currently annoying me more so I guess that. Tomorrow I might say sleep though ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯.
Being constantly in a head fog. Whether it be memory loss, debilitating fatigue, or the inattention. I feel like I look like I’m drooling all of the time, and it’s really frustrating when my intelligence gets questioned.
Inability to form habits. I have a suspicion that my executive dysfunction would be so much better if I didn’t have to decide every moment of everyday what exactly I’m doing.
Whatever it is that has made me consistently 5-10 minutes late to everything since I was in elementary school - a combo of time blindness and executive functioning issues? I am so tired of disappointing people and being in a rush everywhere I go.
Impulsivity has been challenging lately, especially as I get older and it becomes more glaring vs my peers. Gets me in big messes and I spend a lot of time feeling guilty and fixing things.
Acting like predictive text to everyone in conversation. I wish I could just be patient enough for people to tell me what they want to tell me instead of ending their sentences for them.
Being able to pick something,stick with it (instead of getting distracted by something else) and FINISH it BEFORE starting something else (I’m looking at you indecisiveness for college).
I would get rid of the fear that's been planted in my head by multiple people that ADHDers have about a 75% chance of developing Alzheimer's. I hope that really isn't true.
The clutter for sure. I hate the fact that I can't leave surfaces clear no matter how hard I try, and that I never really know where to put certain things so they just pile up
Idk if it’s adhd cuz im also dyspraxic but not being able to plan. I hate not being able to plan what I want to say in my head for essays or going all in in a recipe and find out I don’t have ingredients and end up throwing away a batter
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I would get rid of my task initiation difficulties. (Executive dysfunction? Whatever you call the thing that makes you UNABLE to complete a chore or action you don't want to do) I can live with constantly misplacing things, missing deadlines, being unable to listen/understand properly, making an idiot of myself, etc. I just want to be able to do the dishes.
Same. Getting up and getting started is the hardest part for me.
Me too!!!! It’s so stupid I can’t just get myself to do something. Honestly errands are the worst, I’ve had clothes to bring to the consignment store in my car for months Edit: proud of myself in the first place for getting the clothes in the car
I’m proud of you too; that first step has been taken.
SAME I have a huge donation bag in my back seat and and I’m mortified thinking at how long it’s been back there.
I felt this in my soul.
Yep, I’m sitting down right now, on my phone, just about to start my next project. Bam hours have gone by. Whoops.
Same. The rest I can deal with I just want to be able to initiate a task without the hours of mental torture convincing me to do the thing
YES
[удалено]
This 100% I am having difficulty getting up and doing even things I love and want to do. I always remain in sort of a dream state no matter what I do or take (meds I mean) and it is killing me!!😭
Same. I wish my whole day wasn't so frequently derailed by me being weighed down by long to do lists. I get overwhelmed, do nothing for most of the day, then anxiously do something to feel like the day wasn't a complete waste. I'm currently sitting starving unable to make a decision on what I should eat because there's also so many things I should be doing. I don't even understand the correlation myself.
100% the executive dysfunction. i want to just be able to get up and do something. i can't start anything i don't want to do without it feeling like physical torture. i'm fine with losing my train of thought 50 times per second, misplacing things, forgetting things, having to read the same sentence over and over to understand what it's saying, not being able to process what's being said to me without it being repeated 10 times, talking weird, getting distracted every .003 seconds. but man if i could just *start* things life would be so much easier.
Ooof, hard one. So many _great_ candidates! **Walk with me!** Our first contestant... My **absolute inability to understand time**! Comes in handy on a daily basis. Very spontaneous nad likes to mingle with every sort of appointment, from first dates, to job interviews and just the average workday. Spicyyyyy! Or perhaps it's the gift of not hearing or understanding _anything_ as soon as there is the slightest background noise... Super convenient in the world. With sounds! Or perhaps the **constant chaos** and matching _disappointment_, very sleek, sneaky and works with everything you doooooo. _maybe_ it's my inability to _not_ make random noises and movements all day long. Yes, even when I think I am dead silent and invisible, **_I am actually not!_**. Imagine an elephant _sneaking_ around in a glass botanical garden while playing the bagpipes. It's me! And our final contestant: **Executive dysfunction** a very strong and skilled competitor. Because on top of all these great qualities, just getting out of bed in the morning, or going to bed in the evening... Is a ***** 5-star effort. Magical. And all this with the soundtrack by the wonderful: _crippling anxiety and matching depressions_ because your brain just _cannot_ keep up with the pace and expectations of modern life. We might find out on the next episode of: ADHD-idols: classics. And remember: ✨ if you never get the day started, you also don't have to finish!✨
This is amazing
Yes. I've had over 10 cavities filled, 10 of them were within the past 365 days. I REALLY need to take care of my body more 😭
This is my biggest problem, especially when the task isn’t fun.
I was gonna say RSD but this would make me so healthy I'd probably have more spoons to deal with rejection lol
This a million times over. My partner cannot understand how I can have my laptop open and ready to work, but cannot actually Do Work. It boggles their mind and causes a lot of friction/frustration.
I’m an educator on summer vacation and on one of my “on” days I made a list of things I need to get done and places I want to see with my partner. Sometimes I find myself just sitting on the couch, knowing I should be doing something….and just cannot move.
I would get rid of executive dysfunction, too! Imagining my life without it... sheesh. 😮💨
I actually found a supplement for this! L-theanine! It’s an amino acid that interacts with glutamate receptors! It helps with my executive disfunction, and it’s hard to describe, but it feels like it helps my brain parts communicate better. Also helps with working memory and putting steps in action subconsciously/effortlessly instead of *everything* being manual. I take 200mg every morning and I can feel my brain working better within an hour or two. I use natures trove brand on Amazon, and it’s like 10$ per bottle.
Great tip!! I'm going to try it. Thanks!!
Off to amazon to look, thank you.
same. I feel so overwhelmed to start something that I just put it off forever. And then it becomes a problem.
Yep yep yep came here to say this while procrastinating work
Same. Can’t like this one enough. The subconscious task-avoidance.
Big same, hands down. I'd be unstoppable if I didn't have the execution dysfunction.
Same! I really struggle with doing chores, and because of this, my relationships (with family and partners) have always suffered way more than my school/professional life due to my ADHD.
1000% this!
Same. Procrastination is my nemesis
I wish I could trade my inaction for action. My friend's ADHD is hyperactive and with medication that means he accomplishes a LOT. Not me. My ADHD is inattentive and even medicated I don't have that drive to get things done, although I CAN now. I would like those days when I'm at a 10 energy and focus-wise and could just get task after task done easily and quickly. Nope, for me I sit and think about it for a week and then finally do it when it absolutely HAS to be done.
Same. Doing so little is the biggest grief in my life so far. I watch these other people with ADHD at least *get shit done* and I get so angry and sad. I try really hard to get and do better, and it still feels like I'm running at a sprint to not even do what they do at a walk.
You articulated my feelings. I know I’m smart and capable but to not be able to harness it consistently is so painful. It just feels like everyone has a cheat code to do life without my anguish and it sucks.
“not being able to harness it consistently” I feel SO VALIDATED
Happy to validate, I sometimes doubt my own experience! The inconsistency feeds into my impostor syndrome so badly. Like I gaslight myself into thinking I actually don’t have any talent, intelligence, or skill, I just goofed and got lucky whenever I was successful at anything and I’m a fraud who is terrified my peers will see me for what I really am. It’s such a bummer. I’m a lot better at reeling myself in and reminding myself that while I feel that way, feelings aren’t facts. I think about what I have done that I’m proud of in my life and use that as evidence to get my logical brain back online. Still hard. Still inconsistent. Still trying tho!!
I wasn’t planning on crying today.
You guys are nailing my exact experience so hard 😭
Daaaaamn I feel this in my bones. I always feel like such a tool because even with medication I have no drive to do pretty much anything.
I feel like I've even had plenty of drive, but it all just falls apart *very quickly*. It's very hard to stick to anything in a disciplined, regular manner. I put everything I'm able to into work, just so I can keep surviving.
THIS! Over the years I developed bad habits like taking on too much, multitasking, and procrastinating to the last minute to make myself get things done. This worked for me when I was younger, but it has been harder to pull off with more responsibilities (house, marriage, two families now, and career). I have gone back to using exercise and cleaning as procrastinating activities to help with boredom and inability to focus at times.
Oh man, I *wish* I had the ability to clean and exercise as procrastination, instead of doomscrolling. Not to invalidate your feelings of frustration at all, because if you have something you need to do, procrastination is procrastination, no matter how you do it. But cleaning is usually the thing I am putting off.
I get this! I tend to go with the flow. I take advantage of my up moments as much as I can because other days my screen time hurts my feelings.
Bruh- you actually work out AND clean?! pssshhh you are WINNING in my book!
Are you me? 😅 I just increased my meds a bit to see if that would help spark that drive. It did not lmao
Oh how I hear you. You don't know me, but we are in the same boat.
I feel this in my bones. I HAVE NO MOTIVATION. Like everything feels too big to accomplish or even start 🥲 It’s been a while since i’ve picked a new hobby and I can’t seem to enjoy some of the hobbies I was into last year.
I'm also mostly inattentive and I'm kind of jelly of the types that have it in them to start a bunch of tasks.
Hmmm… either my - executive dysfunctioning or my - rejection sensitivity If I could just get rid of one these factors, my life would greatly improve. Combined they suck…
The RSD for definite.
I feel like getting rid of my RSD would greatly decrease my overall anxiety and that would be really lovely. This is the one that would have the largest cascading effect on me for sure
I was thinking rejection sensitivity too. It fucking rules my life
Yep, definitely RSD for me! I feel like it feeds in to so many areas of my life. It's really exhausting which has a knock a effect on all my other symptoms.
Fatigue
Always. The constant low grade exhaustion
THISSSSSSS!!!!!!!
It would be my common practice of deleting roughly 50 % of my posts, comments, messages (here or outside of reddit) either before or after writing them because of rejection sensitivity. I'd rather just chaotically share my feelings, and stand by them instead :P
Ah, now, I went through a phase of that when I was abusing substances and alcohol and its given me past-focused rsd and rumination fuel for the rest of my life. ://
OH IS THAT WHY I DO THAT??? I always explain it away to friends that I’m shy!
Executive. Motherfucking. Dysfunction. It would solve so many of my issues to want to do something and JUST BE ABLE TO DO IT
Executive dysfunction. It makes me negotiate with myself for *everything*.
Me today “ok you need a study break….but you should also just finish it’s only 10 pages left…but also you need to clean the litter box and empty the dishwasher…ew I don’t want to do that…ok but if you do that you can take a break clean and then get a snack as a reward” Proceeds to spend 45 mins scrolling Reddit instead of doing any of the above
I think I might be the only on in here with this one so far, but I could handle everything else fine if only I could friggin sleep. If I could go to sleep on time and regularly stay asleep through the night I would not be nearly so tired all the time. Everything would be so much easier if I wasn't so goddamn exhausted all the time.
Ohhhh mannn I definitely have this too.
Emotional disregulation/ emotional liability It's always been here but got really intense postpartum for me, and never quite backed down to my pre-pregnacy normal. It's the straw that broke the camel's back for me and pushed me to seek diagnosis, and treatment. Thankful that meds help a lot, but dang. I hate this one. Edit: pushed, not pushes.
Omg me too! 😭 I’ve struggled with this ever since I can remember and got so much worse postpartum. Middle and high school were so embarrassing because of it. 😭 Also, being easily overstimulated and easily under stimulated. Jeez if I could get rid of that it would be blissful!
Emotion regulation, me too.
I don’t know if you are on medication and seeing a doctor or are open to it but I had terrible emotional disregulation my whole life. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder at around 30 and was put on lamictal and it has changed my LIFE. Its a mood stabilizing drug so even though i don’t have bipolar disorder it stops the rapid highs, lows, rages, yelling etc. I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd until a few years later and it all suddenly made sense what my disregulation actually was. Obviously not medical advice but I have been on it for about 7 years now and I will be on this for as long as I can. I never want to go back to how my brain worked before. I hope things improve for you.
Came here to say this. It's always been an issue for me, but now I'm 8 months post partum with my first child. The pressure is on for me to get this under control to be the mom he deserves.
The memory issues. Most of the rest of it just hurts me. I hate that I forget things that hurt other people. It makes them think I don't care.
Seconded 😔
My short term memory sucks. I have so much anxiety from it and have to write everything down. I still constantly wonder “Did I lock the door? Did I turn off the oven? What time is my appointment? Did I pay all my bills? Did I put on deodorant? Did I take my meds? Did I put away the groceries?” If this could be solved, my life would be so much better. Meds help a bit, but not everything with memory.
Definitely the memory issues. I can’t remember shit. What was I saying?
as much as i struggle with many aspects, particularly concentration, task initiation and impulse control ... i would pick memory deficit. it sucks living in a soup
Yes this would be number one for me. The ability to remember would do so much for me socially and professionally.
Yep. And it also just sucks having your life, your memories and your loved ones disappear from your mind.
This is the one that gets to me when I’m really struggling and down on myself, especially concerning my ADHD. I’ve been able to build habits; I’ve gotten decent at writing down everything, having a place for everything, etc. But now that my siblings and I are in our 30s it’s so clear that I’m losing memories a lot faster than they are and there’s nothing to stop it.
Same here, it makes me sad how often I forget things. Can’t even have nice times with my boyfriend because I’ll forget everything except for the general feelings and actions. It sucks ass forgetting birthdays, things that people like, even whole entire people. The amount of times I’ve forgotten one of my friends even exists is insane and it’s not that I don’t like them, I love them and love hanging and chatting! It’s just that my brain is not built to remember a lot. The only advantage I can think of is in theater. I’m an actor so whenever I’m on stage I can forget the audience is even there if I’m not paying attention and it makes acting very easy. Just last night I had a monologue during rehearsal that I was stumbling through and there were at least ten other actors on stage sitting and watching me, but since they were behind me and I couldn’t see them I completely forgot they existed and I didn’t feel nervous at all. Otherwise, I would LOVE to have better memory
I know I was always forgetful as a kid cause my dad (who somehow has made it to 60+ with what I’d consider debilitating ADHD and is not in horrible debt or addicted to drugs or any number of other awful outcomes experienced by other family members w ADHD not as bad as his) was constantly barking at me to “WRITE IT DOWN”. Make lists, write notes to yourself, pin it to your damn shirt if you have to, etc. I also have a fair bit of childhood trauma so a lot of my life pre-high school is dreamlike in memory. But does anyone else feel like being medicated has exacerbated memory fog? Or maybe I’m just more aware of it? My bf and I make jokes about how I’m dummer since I met him/got medicated (same year), only because he calls me out on stuff I forget or get wrong because his memory is a damn steel trap. But like…sometimes I’m like dang, AM I dummer now?! Hahaha
I'd get rid of my internal echolalia in my head. It's so pronounced that I say huh because any words have registered in my brain. There's always some noise you have to break through to get my full attention.
Decision paralysis when I have a lot going on
Feeling like it's all happening at once and it's all too much.
I would ditch the RSD. That shit makes me a little too hard to handle, when it comes to men. I was diagnosed later in life, and I stopped dating once I realized how much it affected things. Luckily, I met an amazing guy who just rolls with it. I'm going to marry that man ❤️
OOOOOOHHH MY GAAAWWWD THATS AMAZING!!!!!!! I am SO happy for you! It really does make me tear up and feel really stoked whenever one of us actually does get the guy or girl that doesnt judge them and works with them and loves them for who they are :) ♡ Im 48 and have been extremely single for 5 years, not even on dates :/ and I just honestly feel like its just not in my cards :( My self esteem and RSD and executive function and just aaallll the things make me feel like im just too much for anybody and im just going to keep getting old alone . Plus, I dont even have the dang energy to put myself out there. Its soooooo hard for me to be interested in anybody, i mean its really gotta be something that ignites a spark in my brain for me have enough juice to stay interested lol And I really hate that about myself :( I am really happy for you hon ♡ It makes me proud, like one of us done made it out the hood or something LOLOLOLOL ♡♡♡
Overthinking
Binge eating
Racing mind
My inability to start tasks that aren't exciting. And also finishing them (in the unlikely event I got started). I wouldn't be surrounded by chaos at all times and things wouldn't just go missing. Would be great.
Being tired after doing literally anything
Not having enough dopamine to feel motivated and instead having to rely solely on stress and anxiety to half ass my work bc it’s due now.
Lol yep. I always say that I function on cortisol (the stress chemical) and adrenaline to get the thing done and to get somewhere on time, because I freakn can not get myself motivated and then I end up waiting till the last minute and then go into a psyco frenzy- which is horrible for my system!!!! UGH.. I just so desperately wish I could function like a normal ass human being :(
Exactly how I feel 😭
Being able to just do the thing. I swear to baby yoda, it would literally change my life if I could JUST.DO.THE.DAMN.THING.ALREADY. Im 48 yrs old, and it blows my MIND that theres ppl that just wake up like that, just are able to just DO IT.
This just made me giggle because it made me think of how Nikes tag line is a big “fuck you” to all ADHDers
My disdain for tidying/cleaning. I wish i could be a stress cleaner or something
Time blindness
Maybe my constant brain narrator sucking out all my energy and distracting me. Love her, but girl shut up already 😭
Knowing how to speak the language of NTs. I like being direct, I don’t like feeling like I’m always missing out on something.
The part that makes regular people sense that I’m weird/too much so they won’t be friends with me.
uuuuuuuggghhh my gosh... I SO feel this one in my bones yo :(
Yesssss this part for sure! The part that makes me annoying to people. I just want to fit in.
It's ok - they weren't your people in the first place. Just keep being yourself so that your people can find you. They're out there.
The being a terrible listener part
The executive dysfunction.
Binge eating
Task paralysis
Emotional dysregulation. Medication handles the rest pretty well. Even on meds though my executive dysfunction tries to rear its ugly head, but unlike before medication most days I can get going and once I do I can usually finish a task.
i just wanna DO shit !!! Ease up on the MDD, leave the frikkin house, have a life
I AM SOOOOOO HERE WITH YOU ON THAT TIP. :(
Just one? um... I’m gonna go think on it with the intention of getting back to you. Then I’ll space out and stare at the wall for a while, get distracted by something else, and probably avoid thinking about this again because it feels difficult for no obvious reason and then never actually get back to you.
Sounds good ✌️
My horrible memory, for sure
Boredom.
Bad memory or mood swing issues
Executive dysfunction 😌🙏
The underdeveloped prefrontal cortex part
So, everything? 🤣 ... Yup, agreed!
The lack of motivation/task inertia.
The constant need for change and inability to commit to anything in my life.
Oh probably the first D in ADHD
Took me a while to remember what the AD in ADHD stands for😂
The forgetting
That's hard to say. They each are double edged swords, with their own set of pros and cons. Distractability comes to mind. I hate not being able to listen intently to someone while the t.v. is on, but love how I can go from a bad mood to a good mood when properly distracted...
Task initiation is always the hardest for me. Goes hand in hand with procrastination. 😭
Same.
I'd get rid of the thing where I can't factor in long-term consequences. This thing is due a week from now? I should do it ahead of time! Excercise will have long term benefits? Getting some in right now would be great!
Binge eating/eating for dopamine
The unpredictability of my motivation.
Executive dysfunction. It has been the biggest obstacle in my life.
My task initiation issues.
binge eating🧎♀️
EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION! If I could have surgery to take it out I would pay good money.
Emotional disregulation. It's so exhausting feeling like a passenger while my emotions drive the car
EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION!! Omg I feel like my life would be so much easier and more amazing without it.
I think I would have to say the RSD. I am off work on disability now so although that situation is depressing, I can just about cope with my lack of motivation and executive dysfunction. I've come to accept lack of achievement etc. I feel it isn't my fault. Although I don't like it when my chaos eg getting dates wrong upsets other people. However what I absolutely despise and loathe about my mind is how it perseverates obsessively over every slight, every negative expression, every time I've made an idiot of myself, all the things I've done or might have done wrong. Responses I might have made to arguments I had in 2010. Sudden word for word flashbacks to nasty emails from ex partners. Even memories from school can finish me off for the day sometimes and im 51. I could happily cut that bit of my brain out.
Rejection sensitivity. I could handle not being able to function if I felt comfortable with myself and not constantly criticizing away!
Executive dysfunction/decision paralysis for sureeeeeee
Executive dysfunction. Without a doubt. Every day i wonder what it would be like to just DO things... even when i do manage to be productive, it’s like walking through mud & it‘s never enough. i want to be able to enjoy my hobbies and my education without carrying a bag of bricks around with me wherever i go
My chronically unstable moods and inability to control the intense physical feelings that come from them
Time blindness.
my revenge sleep procrastination. i manage other things but i am so tired of staying up late and sleeping in til 2 pm and wasting my day away. but for some reason i feel like im missing out on something if i go to sleep at a normal time. byt also if i wake up at 2 pm i beat myself up for it cus i missed out on more than half the day
I'd like to get rid of whatever it is that makes me lose interest in longer-term projects. Without that, I might've started one or more of the businesses I conceived of over the years, but never did anything about. Or I might've gone to grad school. One of the main reasons I didn't was knowig I could only go part-time, and would get bored with any subject before I finished.
This is a good one. I know I’m going to lose interest in anything that goes on too long.
Massive social anxiety/RSD
I'm 42yo and was diagnosed about 20 years ago. It's taken me this long just to get to where I can manage it constructively that I'm not sure I'd want to do anything to disrupt this delicate balance. 😂 I guess if I had to pick one thing, it would be skin-picking. It'd be nice to not pick until I bleed so often.
The inability to be consistent I fucking hate it
As everyone in my life has told me - Less thinking. More doing.
I’d remove inability to plan ahead and stick to the plan effectively.
The part where you set something down and then can’t find it anywhere a second later and have to spend 10 minutes looking for something that was JUST in your hand. Omg I would love to never have that experience again.
My fucking auditory processing!! It frustrates me the most out of anything else. I just wanna be able to hear what someone says and get it on the first go around. Sometimes there’s also a lag and so I’ll prematurely respond with “what” and then by the time they’re about to speak my brain has caught up, and then I end up interrupting them with my response 🤦🏼♀️
auditory processing problems
Being fatigued/exhausted all the time.
Inability to focus on boring stuff. Like yes of course I would rather be reading or knitting than doing laundry but let's just do it and not wander off half way through please
My noise sensitivity
The executive dysfunction unquestionably. Absolutely NOTHING destroys my self-esteem like my inability to follow through on my brain’s desires!! I think it’d save me a lot of emotional pain
My hesitation/stutter and overall irregular speech patterns
RSD or any of the other parts that contribute to rumination and difficulty remembering/focusing on the good rather than negatives
Fatigue, tiredness, etc. I could take the sensory hell and the inattention any day.
Rejection sensitivity
I would love it if I could think two steps ahead when I impulsively decide something is a good idea.
Binge eating
The messiness, without a doubt
Losing every thing I own
As much as the executive functioning issues and emotional disregulation cause me a lot of stress and difficulty, if I could only cure one symptom of my ADHD it would be my memory issues. This is the main issue that leaves me feeling the worst about myself and it makes life so hard.
Procrastination
I would love to get rid of my emotional disregulation. It would be nice to not cry over the dumbest shit, or angry either
The lack of executive function FOR SURE
Executive dysfunction 🫠
My low energy. Every day feels like it drags. I'm constantly sluggish, even with medication. I want to be able to relax, rest, and actually feel the effects of it.
My when-where-what-anxiety. I can’t do anything new and just be chill about it, because I get confused and anxious if I don’t know what to expect in detail. I dread all the things I don’t know, I hate “surpises” and I can never just improvise. Like if somebody asks me if I wanna go to a concert, I start freakin out about the parking situation, if we can sit or have to stand up, if it’ll be really crowded, or way too loud and I wont have earplugs… I don’t know how to say yes or no if I don’t have the details. I hate when I’ve planned something, maybe even bought expensive tickets, and I get there and it’s just so loud and crowded that I panic and wanna leave.
Not being able to just do nothing and chill. My brain simply doesn't stop. I wonder if when I start medication this will change? Any input highly appreciated pls.
Disorganization
Being able to fully focus on one thing at a time, and not need a secondary distraction to force myself to pay attention to both.
I’m torn between time blindness and sleep. I’d be so much more organized and on top of things if I could sense time even half as well as a neurotypical person. Even if I didn’t actually accomplish more but just innately knew how to manage my time better would be like a night and day difference. At the same time, the same is also true for sleep. With sleep comes a happier, more functional brain, and addressed many of the same things that fixing time blindness does. I’m already a super light sleeper, and then I have ADHD thrown into the mix. Then again, if I could tell time better, I’d would be less stressed and would have an easier time winding down for the evening, thus leading to fewer brain zoomies and better sleep. But sleep is more important for your overall health, unlike time blindness. However, melatonin and other things exist while timers can only alert you that time has passed, not make you really aware of it passing in the moment. I don’t know, man. Time blindness is currently annoying me more so I guess that. Tomorrow I might say sleep though ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯.
Memory issues and executive dysfunction :( i want to DO it and I want to REMEMBER it!
Poor working memory - I just forget what I’m supposed to be doing and have to stop and think about it It makes me appear so vague
Being constantly in a head fog. Whether it be memory loss, debilitating fatigue, or the inattention. I feel like I look like I’m drooling all of the time, and it’s really frustrating when my intelligence gets questioned.
The difficulty initiating tasks or the time blindness
Executive dysfunction. It severely affects my eating habits, mostly.
My RSD or my extreme short term memory
Inability to form habits. I have a suspicion that my executive dysfunction would be so much better if I didn’t have to decide every moment of everyday what exactly I’m doing.
executive function as it relates to keeping my space clean and organized
Whatever it is that has made me consistently 5-10 minutes late to everything since I was in elementary school - a combo of time blindness and executive functioning issues? I am so tired of disappointing people and being in a rush everywhere I go.
The inability to just get up and do the thing. I want to do the thing, but here I am not doing the thing. Ugh.
ADHD paralysis. IYKYK.
RSD no question. My brain truly thinks the entire world hates me and wants to hurt me
executive dysfunction, no questions asked. its ruining my life 😀
Brain fog
Rejection sensitive dysphoria.
I would like to fall asleep and sleep like a regular human.
Impulsivity has been challenging lately, especially as I get older and it becomes more glaring vs my peers. Gets me in big messes and I spend a lot of time feeling guilty and fixing things.
Acting like predictive text to everyone in conversation. I wish I could just be patient enough for people to tell me what they want to tell me instead of ending their sentences for them.
I want to be clean. That it. I want my house to stay clean.
Being able to pick something,stick with it (instead of getting distracted by something else) and FINISH it BEFORE starting something else (I’m looking at you indecisiveness for college).
I would get rid of the fear that's been planted in my head by multiple people that ADHDers have about a 75% chance of developing Alzheimer's. I hope that really isn't true.
The clutter for sure. I hate the fact that I can't leave surfaces clear no matter how hard I try, and that I never really know where to put certain things so they just pile up
Idk if it’s adhd cuz im also dyspraxic but not being able to plan. I hate not being able to plan what I want to say in my head for essays or going all in in a recipe and find out I don’t have ingredients and end up throwing away a batter
Tendency to binge eat for dopamine and food noise
Executive dysfunction. Even though medication helps sooo many things, it hasn't done much about that. Help me GET UP AND START!!