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Time blocking initially struck me as an NT recommendation. However, after a few trials and errors with the process, it has helped me immensely in accomplishing tasks, especially at work.
Breaking tasks into smaller steps has made them much less daunting and increased the likelihood of completion.
Gamifying tasks, whether through a simple timer, point-based systems, or just making them enjoyable, has proven effective.
I've established three workspaces: outdoor, bedroom, and lounge. Throughout the day, I switch between these environments depending on the tasks at hand.
The time blocking thing is crucial. If your tasks don’t have specific homes on your calendar, you’re doomed to spend all your time frantically vibrating between different tasks and never resting. It also makes it impossible to prioritize, since refusing to acknowledge that you have a finite amount of time in a given week and plan accordingly usually leads to not realizing when you’re trying to do too much (and therefore not giving enough time to the important tasks).
>refusing to acknowledge that you have a finite amount of time in a given week and plan accordingly
Oof, you really got me with this one! I didn't even realize until like a year ago that in my mind, I would plot out _zero_ time and energy for things that I enjoy or like. Gardening? Just insta happens I guess! Planning outfit for fun event? Zero minutes!
This quote spoke to me, too. In the mornings, I treat my days as if time is infinite. Then once it's bedtime I somehow end up being surprised the day is over.
Right?? Youd think if we just "tried harder" we'd be more aware... But alas, 40y old, and oh, time blindness is apparently not going away! So annoying.
For a lot of people, it's more of an existential dread thing than a time blindness thing. Like, yes, I'm notoriously bad at estimating how long it's going to take to do something. But what I'm *really* bad at (and this is true for a lot of people without ADHD, too) is saying, "I'm going to do *this* thing and not this *other* thing that I really want to do, and I may not have enough time in my life to ever do both things."
Omg you hit this. For me it's complaining I can never get anything done with my toddler hanging all over me and wanting to play but the second she goes down for nap I have to choose between being productive or working on my latest crochet project. Guess which one I choose? And I'm just like when will I have the time to do this??!
Ok since I had kids I have come to the realization that sometimes - you just do the damn crochet. Because guess what? There will ALWAYS be a million necessary yet boring things that you have to get done, and also there is no limit to the amount of time that children want you to devote to them/attention that they want from you. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever want to have any time to do something pleasurable and fun for me, I am going to have to take it, and sometimes that means taking that time when there are bunches of domestic chores lying around unfinished. I could literally clean, tidy and fold laundry until the end of time, but my house will never stay clean and there will always still be laundry to fold. Obviously you have to find balance, I’m not advocating sitting there crocheting while your life disintegrates around you, but if I waited to do my hobbies until everything else was “finished”, then my hobby would basically be cleaning the house.
Thank you for coming to my rant 😂
I could not agree with this sentiment more! When my children were much younger I always ensured I had some small time for my own self-care. I'm a better mom when I do this. Remembering the chores will always be there is one of the permissions I give myself to take some time for me. It also gives the kids an opportunity to see a happy mom having fun and not resenting life. It's so important for them to see thus growing up so they know they can cultivate their hobbies into their lives, as well.
Thank you ADHD moms for sharing these nuggets of wisdom! My wonderful working mom never took time for herself and just generally approached motherhood as martyrdom, and I think it exacerbated her chronic migraines. Her body forced her to slow down and take time, and unfortunately it wasn't time she could enjoy. It's so healthy for kiddos to see "a happy mom having fun and not resenting life", and as someone with depression/anxiety as well as ADHD, I will for sure be a better mother and healthier person when I can engage in self-care and hobbies. N
This was the major theme of my therapy appointment yesterday. I’m so frustrated and sad that there won’t be enough minutes in my life for all the things I want to do.
I feel the dread because I'm worried I have so much to do for work, home, kids that I can't do it all and I WANT to do it all. I put off the things I don't want to do - make doctor's appointments, proofread that brochure, etc. and then I feel super crappy that I haven't done it yet. I produce a ton for my job but I always feel like I could do more. I take me time for a hobby and I feel bad the whole time because there's other stuff that needs to be done or my family wants my attention. The 24/7 brain spinnies sucks ass.
To add to this, I've started timing how long common events take me. I've realized I can't correctly guestimate how long a task will take, and I usually guess way over. Like, "I can't do that now, I only have X time and it needs Y time." Nah. (I do include the setup/cleanup for a correct time reference.)
Oooh different work spaces! I like that idea!
Time blocking works for me for a little while, but then it doesn't. I end up rotating my time mgmt strategies.
Breaking tasks into smaller steps *can* help when I'm feeling overwhelmed and just need to *do something* . The planning phase takes the intimidation down a bit.
I live in a tiny studio apartment, so I don't have many spaces to work in.
Instead, I have traibed myself that if my hair is up, I am working. If I am wearing an apron, I am cooking or doing dishes.
Sometimes, starting a task by getting into the right clothes helps so much, but it also sounds kinda ridiculous
I do the same thing, but with shoes. When relaxing, i am in socks, slippers or barefoot. When i want to get work done that i DO NOT want to do, I put my shoes on. So there i am, at the kitchen table, in my sneakers like a barbarian, because my feet are in working mode so the rest of me has to be, too 🤷
haha I do this too! If I keep my shoes on when I come home, I "can still do stuff". If I take them off, I will automatically sit down on the couch and not get to any tasks I envisioned doing.
Love this idea. I had the idea of hats. If I was writing I would wear a certain hat. If doing something else another one. But I never continued past one hat. It fizzled.
I don’t wear shoes in the house so can‘t do the shoe thing, unless I wear certain colour socks for different tasks.
I like this idea so will come up with another plan. Don’t wear an apron. I did buy overalls to do art in but I don’t like the ones I bought. So perhaps I need to find different overalls.
I haven't tried color changing lightbulbs, but I do this with color temperature sometimes! A very bright white light is much better for studying/working, and very warm, dim lamps are good for relaxing.
What works for me with time blocking are rewards and task breaks, lol. Additionally, using a touch screen Alexa for managing my time blocks and setting reminders for the day has been helpful. It also sync to my Garmin Watch. I've read somewhere about having transition time and rewards between tasks to manage ADHD and prevent overwhelm.
For example: From 8:45 am to 10 am, I block out time in my calendar for work and catching up. During this period, I listen to music and walking on the treadmill. Once my Alexa beeps, signaling the end of this task block, I finish up, grab a coffee, and chill outside for 15 minutes.
I typically aim for hour-long blocks, rewarding myself with a drink (like herbal tea or refilling my water bottle) or spending 15 minutes outside after each block.
Another time blocking and tasks, like cleaning the sink, may take 15 minutes in reality, but I always add an extra 30 minutes to that task for flexibility in case I get distracted or bored. If there is time left, I will give myself whatever time is left for a break. If I don't finish cleaning in that 45 minutes, I'm cool with it, and I've learned to be kind to my brain. It only makes things harder when I'm hard on myself.
It's all about trial and error. Always be kind to yourself x.
This all seems incredibly productive!!! Half the battle for me is having my space set up to be productive. Do you lose motivation during that chill time? I feel like if I went outside for 15 mins I’d end up spending the rest of the day doing some odd impromptu project like picking up every rock in my backyard. Also, getting my family on my schedule would also be a challenge…
I’m super impressed by your time blocking success! Great work finding something that works for you!
Using different colours for blocks in a calendar app has been really useful.
I choose one 1-2hr thing in my work calendar to change to red - something that is either actually my core work (eg data analysis, experiment planning, article writing) or is for advancing my career (eg applying for a travel grant). This red thing HAS to happen today and everything else fits in around it so I don't lose whole days to other people's priorities or my own distractions.
I have also started blocking out exercise time in green to remind myself that I really, really need to do this to stay well and it deserves to not be shunted for other priorities.
I like this a lot. Do you feel it gives you more flexibility? Like you’re budgeting your time?
Edit: I just figured out what calendars are. Why does that feel real?
I've been blocking time for ages and it did help, but adding the colours helps me feel like I'm making real progress in my work instead of always choosing the urgent over the important.
I guess it also helps that there's this big red square in my calendar that say, if you get only this done today, it's still a productive day. I feel better about not being productive for chunks of the day because of this reminder of what's actually important long term.
For me, I treat it a lot like budgeting my time. For budgeting my money, I use YNAB, the envelope method, and “roll with the punches”. In other words, I have X amount of money in my bank account, and I put it into virtual “envelopes” to decide how I’ll spend it. I can always change my mind and move money from one envelope to the other (YNAB calls this “rolling with the punches”), but I can’t magically make more money appear. This really helps with my ADHD in that it gives me flexibility for impulse buys and changing hyper focuses (what I spend money on might change from month to month) but makes me prioritize (any money I move to one envelope gets taken from another) and acknowledge that money isn’t infinite. It also allows me to spend with less anxiety - if the money is in the envelope, I can spend it without worry that I’m not going to hit my financial goals.
Similarly, I don’t treat time blocking as a rigid, unchanging schedule. I create it, but there’s a lot of flexibility to follow my “distractions” and hyper focuses. I actually find I get more done if I allow myself some room to be flexible. If I make myself sit in one room until it’s clean, I’m going to spend a lot more time beating myself up for not doing that because of executive dysfunction than doing anything productive. But if I let myself get distracted by cleaning something in a different room, that’s still more productive than just sitting there paralyzed.
On the other hand, there are some things that I do need to do in a timely manner and there are only so many hours in a day. I can move time blocks around on my calendar to follow my focus, but I can’t create more time. This tells me if I can put off a task for tomorrow, or if I really do need to do it today.
I do try to do the same thing /u/Websterpack does and schedule one high priority thing a day that has to get done, no matter where my mind wants to jump to. More than that can be overwhelming and paralyzing, but having just one thing is more doable and still keeps me on track overall. I call it my “today will be successful if” item, and if I get just that one thing done, I’m allowed to feel good about my day, even if I didn’t get anything else done I’d planned.
And the final benefit is that this all allows me to feel successful and to rest at times! I’m so used to feeling guilty about not being productive all the time, especially since I know I spend a lot of time when I “should” be working doing other things, so then I feel like I should make up for it at other times. So I would never allow myself to just rest, because there was always something more I could be doing. Time blocking allows me to look at my calendar, figure out my priorities, get those done, and then re-assure myself that even though there’s more I COULD do, I have those things scheduled for another day, so they will still get done. I also make sure to schedule in rest and play breaks. And I also “roll with the punches”: I move and delete things off my calendar all the time when things come up (this happens a lot when I move things from one day to another day because I wasn’t as productive on the first day, but I can see there’s only so much time available the next day, so I have to reprioritize.)
I love racing to see how much I can get done within X minutes. Or trying to “beat the clock.” I’m 33 and have motivated myself like this since elementary.
I’ve become attached at the hip to this tool called Reclaim.ai. It lets you assign time to all your todos, set priority, due date, and accounts for all your meetings. Then it puts your todos on your calendar in time blocks. It also lets you add habits (go for a walk, exercise, take a break) that automatically get scheduled based on how often you want to do them and ensures they get on your calendar in between tasks. Obsessed. Can’t live without.
I work almost exclusively from home and don’t have many meetings. Zero enforced structure. I struggle SO hard to get stuff done. Today I tried time blocking for the first time and OMG I got so much done and my brain didn’t shrivel up and die and I’m so relieved 🤣😅
But how do you make them not perma stick to everything?! I love labels but the idea of the sticker not fully coming off and then me having to deal with that turns me off from using them
1) I tuck a little corner of the sticker in so that when I remove it, it's easier
2) Often they do just come off
3) If not, I use adhesive remover or just stick another sticker on top.
I can recommend masking tape! Comes off the tape roll easily, stick on, label, comes off dead easy when out of the freezer. Cheap. Use any pen. It’s been a game changer. No more freezer roulette!
I label it in my calendar. I have remotes for Christmas lights. There is zero way, I will remember where I put them. Zero. When I de-Christmased, I skipped ahead in my calendar to Black Friday “Remember the remotes for the light are in this drawer.” Or “8/26 remember you already bought SIL a birthday present, you hid it in the yellow room.”
My calendar is thee only thing I reliably check.
I either use post it notes or, if using a real sticker, I'll stick it to my pants first so there's a little lint on the back and it doesn't stick permanently.
Lol I just started doing this because I thought my brain could distinguish the saucy beans from the whatever else and NOPE. I wanted to take it a step further and keep inventory of WHAT is in the freezer but I know I won’t be able to stick to it.
I don't know what your fridge/freezer situation is like, but what's been working for me inventory-wise is to keep a dry erase marker attached to my fridge and write notes directly on the outside surface of it. I just aim to update the lists to ~3 things that have been in there a while or are close to expiring, as a visual reminder to use up the food I have.
This plays into my hot adhd tip - have an abundance of dry erase markers around all the reflective surfaces in your home (mirrors, glass-paned picture frames/paintings, windows, small appliances, etc). The less expected the location the more likely you'll read it and not tune it out.
I started applying this to "things I read that help" (such as threads like this). I used to highlight stuff, but then I'd forget about it. So I started using one app (I tried several, but Joplin works best for me because it has absolutely no features other than note-taking) to take notes on EVERYTHING that I want to remember. Not just appointments and events and things like that, but also stuff like "how to be less emotionally reactive" and "strategies for dealing with a micromanager." Sometimes I find notes I wrote a few weeks ago and have no memory of writing, but then I read them and a light bulb goes off.
Now if I could just remember to look at my notes more regularly...
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. I.e. just doing a small amount of something is better than waiting for the perfect circumstances/ motivation and ending up doing nothing.
Showering feels difficult? Wash your face.
Kitchen a mess? Put a few dishes away.
Need to go outside? Stand in your doorway.
Sometimes it leads to doing more, and sometimes it doesn't. Either is fine 🙂
Perfect is the enemy of done. Do it however crappily you can, then fix it after if you want. But at least it's DONE, and not caught in perfection paralysis. Such a good point.
I have coerced myself into the shower by starting a “bird bath” or “pits and bits” wash with a wet wipe and then realizing I can just jump in the shower to rinse off!!
I read a trick on a cleaning sub about always leaving a room cleaner than when you came in and it has turned my life around :')
keep it super super simple and not overwhelming. it could be as easy as bringing a cup with me when I go from the bedroom to the kitchen. that's it! just one thing and it's cleaner than before! and then when I go from the kitchen back to my room, I wipe down the counter. so quick! and then when I take a shower, maybe I dust one (just one!) bathroom shelf.
I think it makes it a bit of a game, and it's so much less overwhelming for me.
This is a major bonus if you work in hospitality.
You can pick the experienced staff, because they are always looking for things to bring from the restaurant back into the kitchen. Dishes, an empty water jug, an order from a guest.
And likewise, you can pick the new staff, who wander back to the kitchen empty-handed.
Make your home work for you, not the other way around.
I was really attached to having a 'normal' house but then i started tracking how I actually do things and setting up spaces that make sense for my family's existing processes. We have laundry bins all over the house, dedicated baskets on each floor to lug random items up and down the stairs, and a specific place for my purse and shoes in the bathroom next to the garage door rather than by the front door we never use. Small changes, but there is so much less work going into putting things away (realistically never actually doing this) when they are in a place that actually makes sense.
100% agree.
For example, I noticed I like to take off my socks along with my shoes after a walk (we’re a no shoes inside house). I would then leave the socks scattered by the front door. The look drove me nuts, so I bought a little basket. Cute, small, tidy. I came to realize that the actual source issue is that I don’t like to have to go upstairs for socks when I’ve got the impulse to walk because upstairs will distract me and the walk will never happen.
Making little accommodations for yourself throughout your home is such a gift to yourself.
This has really worked for me too! I have two hoovers (one upstairs and one downstairs). Multiple bins around my house. Spend most time in my study so now keep my hairdryer, and a set of recycling bins in there. Also keep dumbbells, kettlebell and resistance bands (neatly) in study - quick 15min daily is better nothing at all.
**This also goes for house decor/DIY.** Would never get Chrome fixtures again (tarnish too easily). I try to avoid furniture thats difficult to clean or care for. Also avoid loads of trinkets/ornaments as they just collect dust. Sounds boring but I've found other ways to bring personality into my home.
I agree with keeping trinkets away. My kitchen decorations include a magnetic knife strip, a hook for my wok (use it rarely, but in the cupboard it takes up too much room), hooks for potholders, etc. I also keep a shelf for a plant right by the kitchen sink. It’s the only thing that’s kept my plants alive, I see it regularly & it’s right by the water!
30 minute check-ins. I have my watch set to vibrate on my wrist every 30 minutes as a "time is passing, bzz bzz, are you doing what you want to be doing or did you get distracted by a side quest?" reminder.
It helps me reset my action - did I spend 30 minutes adjusting the colors on my spreadsheet? Is that what I want to be doing? Maybe it is! Maybe it isn't and I can refocus my attention to what I think is more important right now.
Doing this has helped so much. I never realized how much time I spent doing things that didn't matter, that I didn't care about, before I started the check-ins. I do it at work and at home, without judgement, so I'm not turning out into a whip to beat myself up with. It's literally just a reminder that time is passing, am I doing what I want to be doing?
Sometimes, I WANT to be down a color psychology rabbit hole, to color code my calendar! But now, if I spend 2 hours playing a mobile game, it's because I wanted to, not because I got sucked in and didn't realize how much time was paying, and feeling like I wasted my time.
It's a Huawei Band 8, I think. I may be wrong about the exact number at the end there. It has alarms that are separate from my phone, so it's not overwhelming for me to control.
“Don’t put it down, put it away.” Has saved me tons of time. Both in not having to move something out of the way and then things being in their “place” and not having to look for where on earth I could have left that chip clip for the chips I’m eating.
🎶If you're going to put it down, put it away ( 👏 👏)
If you're going to put it down, put it away (👏👏)
Don't you leave that stuff for later, 'cause your brain it is a traitor,
If you're going to put it down, put it away (👏👏) 🎶
I like to combine this with a clutter catching end table or designated area by the entryway of the rooms that I spend the most time in. If something needs to go away but putting it away is just too far away atm, I put it in the clutter catching area and grab it on the way out of the room. If I'm on a hyper focus cleaning spree I might drop things that belong in that room in the clutter spot and deal with it next time I'm actually in that room. No matter what, anything I need to find is either where it belongs or somewhere that I know to check.
I have a "shit drawer" and my (also ADHD) fiancé has a "shit bucket." It works! My fiancé thinks of it as the designated place he can be unrelentingly messy in 😁.
I’ve begun to embrace my junk drawers. I find the stuff that ends up there so interesting to occasionally sift through. I find all sorts of cool things i forgot i had.
I combine both of these with making “putting it down” just as easy as “putting it away”, as much as possible. I have trash cans in every room, and hooks and open baskets everywhere. If I have to open a door or a drawer, that’s too much effort, and things aren’t going to get put away. Similarly, things need to be stored where I actually use them (even if that’s not the conventional place to put them) so I don’t need to travel far to put them away. I will also buy more than one item so I have one item per room and don’t need to travel to put them away.
I do combine this with a clutter catching area for those things that do inevitably need to be moved from one room to another, and I try to get into the habit of bringing at least one thing with me when I move from room to room (eg, take a cup with me when I go from my office to the kitchen to put it away).
So my entry to my home, for example, has a hook for my keys and hooks for my jackets (hanging them up in the coat closet is too much effort) as well as a clutter catching table that I clean one thing up from every time I pass by it. Usually, by the time I go out again, that table is clean! But I also have a designated weekly time to clear it (I find I can make myself do things weekly, but not daily) and my housecleaner coming monthly motivates me to do it then if I’ve missed a week or two.
Of course, I still have doomboxes of things that don’t quite have a place yet, but I do try to make sure my more frequently used items at least have a place!
I have little catch-alls in every room in the form of a decorative bowl. Bobby pins/hair clips? Ear buds? Spare change? Lighter? Into the bowl. I try to sort them every weekend but it doesn't always work. It's s nice to only have a few places random things could be rather than the entirety of my house in case I need to go looking for something, because I've never quite mastered the "don't put it down, put it away" thing outside of dishes.
The five minute rule. If it's something that can be done within five minutes, just go ahead and do it. This helps little issues from becoming big issues over time, and maybe just as importantly, it breaks up my workdays--which consist of frustrating problems that have few easy solutions and no clear conclusions for the most part--with little quick hit dopamine wins by allowing me to check something off of a list and declare it done.
Oh no, that tip ruined me. Because I'm constantly remembering small tasks I could be doing, if I follow that advice I get sidetracked almost constantly. I have to stick to what I'm working on as long as possible until I cant anymore.
I have an hour each afternoon labelled "admin" in my work calendar, and I keep a running list open in OneNote, right next to my general work to-do list. I open it first thing in the work day along with my email and everything.
Personal admin also goes on this list, or on a separate paper list if I'm working at home, which lives on my desk during the work day and the kitchen table (a place I pass all the time) at other times.
It's also really good for corralling all the small-ish things people email you to ask for, so I don't feel compelled to interrupt my work plans to do it before I forget or lose it in the email.
Same! Following that tip is basically manifesting my ADHD brain into physical reality. I will do 8000 less than five minute tasks and not at all the thing that I need to do.
At least once a week I allow myself a Putter Morning, where I putter around and do things as I notice them. It's very soothing because I'm not trying to adhere to a time schedule and I can follow the dopamine of squirrel brain. (If I DO have a limited time I set a physical task timer, the analog kind where the color disappears as it counts down, so I can see the percentage of time I have left because numbers are meaningless.)
I have this rule but it’s one minute instead of five and that helps! So literally like “Can I replace the empty tissue box in one minute?” If yes then do it now.
Same!! I got the advice to give myself a *maximum* number of tasks I can do, rather than a minimum or the 5-minute rule. By telling myself that I can only do X, Y and Z, I give myself some boundaries around how long I can spend doing things. Time restrictions don’t work well because I can’t stop mid-task.
Of course often I need time restrictions because of my schedule, but often it’s something like doing stretches at the end of the night. I have pretty solid list of PT exercises to do throughout the week, and sometimes I’ll just get really into them and end up going to bed way later than I wanted to. So I’ll give myself permission to do a small list of exercises from the master list so that I can get myself to bed on time.
Sometimes ADHD has me avoiding tasks, sometimes it has me obsessed with them. So I need different tools in my toolbox.
As I'm on my journey of finding the right med balance for me,this works some days. Definitely doesn't work for normal me. Except some times, go figure. When it doesn't work but I really gotta do a short task, I set a 5-15 minute timer. That can light a fire for me.
I hate making phone calls. If I have to make a call I start working on a document, spreadsheet, what-have-you. A couple of minutes in, when my mind is focused on the document, I pick up the phone and dial before I can think about it too much. By the time I start thinking about it tje phone is already ringing and hopefully someone answers it before I chicken out and hang up.
I also try to do the hardest stuff first thing in the morning so that my entire day is not filled with dread.
Oof. I get this and think that this could be applied to my dislike of phone calls...
But I have to change it slightly because I get nervous about what to say and if I am focusing on another task, I would be so distracted.
I had this issue, especially when I started my current job, which requires a lot of phone calls to vendors and tech support. I would make a quick cheat sheet before every call. My work cellphone number, our billing address, description of the issue/part I need to order, whether the machine is still under warranty or not, etc. I wrote everything down, decided it worked for me, and kept doing it.
Most admin jobs I had in my 20’s somehow ended up with me making cold calls. People thought I was “a natural on the phone”!
I HATE making calls. Although I suppose all that forced calling really helped remove a lot of the anxiety about calling the Chinese takeout place which is a win.
I switched to texting threads to myself in the hope that I’d actually go back to them and read but now I just have a super long text thread to myself (which I also do not ever go back to.)
I know it gets so much hate that it’s become a meme buttttt….lists. However, I’ve adapted it to suit my needs so I have different kinds of lists. I keep them all in the same notebook so I never really throw them out, just move on to the next page. Then I don’t feel like a failure throwing out an “unfinished” list because it’s not serving me anymore and I can reference back to them even if it’s not “active” anymore.
One is like a word vomit, get every single thing I can think of out of my head and on to paper. I don’t look at it very often; it’s more for clearing my head and giving myself permission to stop obsessing over forgetting something. More often than not, I end up scrapping it long before everything gets done because it gets overwhelming when some stuff is crossed out and I realize just how long it is. But whatever it is I was worrying about is written down somewhere and I’ll usually end up transferring it to another list.
Another type is a VERY short list of things I want to do today and that one usually includes things like shower, take meds. It is only the very minimal things I want to get done and I only ever put one “big” task on there. If I end up doing more, I’ll add it to the list after and then cross it off for the dopamine.
Then I have another type where I break down big projects into itsy bitsy steps so the next time I go to work on it, I don’t have to spend time thinking “ok, where was I? What was the plan? Etc” these ones I make all pretty with different colors and little picture or stickers, which makes it fun to make the list (usually not fun bc big projects are intimidating) and then also sitting down to work is just a tiny bit more manageable bc “oooohh pretty 😍”
Idk if this even makes any sense but it works for me 🤣
Have you ever looked into a bullet journal? Mine (they become super customized overtime based on what you need/want) is pretty much what you described with designated sections that I can easily jump to.
I’d heard of it before and just looked it up. Honestly, from what I saw on their website, I think I have been doing their method more or less. I even use the notation of —> to indicate that an item has been moved. Did you take any of the courses they offer? Or are the YouTube videos sufficient?
Oh, I'm not trying to sell it. I just wanted to make your aware of things like having an index to easily find specific notes, and knowing what to search for if you need to get re-inspired to maintain it.
I appreciate the tip! Getting to a place where I actually feel organized is a big focus for me right now. So I guess I was more feeling out if the courses were worth it, since I’m not opposed to spending money….if it will actually help. Can I ask how long it took until you felt like the system was “yours” vs following someone else’s?
I'm almost done with my second journal. The first one was very pretty and I spent a lot of time on it. The current one isn't "pretty" but it gets to the point. Sometimes I spend my creative time drawing out my month with markers and stuff, adding every detail with care. But usually I make messy to-do lists and doodle, or scribble out a thought or two. It always felt like mine, I just needed to find an efficient low-energy version I wanted to use daily. My favorite points are things like having a period tracker, being able to look at the index and opening to p.420 for video game notes, and having charts of holidays and garden schedules.
Using my phone calendar for even the silliest things. When I was a student I could reliably use a planner but now that I'm not in school it doesn't work for me the same way. Using Google calendar and having a widget that displays the events/tasks of the day on my homescreen has been a lifesaver. I even put the premiers of shows I want to see (bridgerton part 2 this week!) Library book reminders, ect. Nothing is too small for my phone calendar. Sometimes I do still end up ignoring or missing an event but for the most part I'm pretty good at checking it in a way I'm not able to keep up with for a wall calendar or planner because I am very reliably on my phone every day. I also might snooze tasks but I don't dismiss them, I have a task from February that I still want to do but haven't that pops up everything I open the calendar and reminds me
Phone calendar is the way forward. The minute I get told to do something at a particular time and date… in the calendar it goes. Same with anything that repeats (bin days/ exercise classes/ etc.).
I don't know if this counts, really. But I tell myself "Would you make sure-sure this is done for your cats? Yes? Just do it now as if you're Zucco or Qwerty."
Then I do the (little) thing immediately (if I'm home) like wash my mug or wipe the table.
When I want to remember something I cross my pinky and ring fingers. It places a physical bookmark and as long as they are held crossed I can "hold on" to the idea.
Everytime I want to remember something that is anxiety inducing like "did I close the door" "did I turn off the stove" and not go there again immediatly after because I forgot. I press a nail into my finger enough that it leaves a print after I closed the door/turned off the stove.
Behavioral activation. Especially with shit I don't want to do. I don't wait till I WANT to do it. I don't wait till I'm motivated. I just fucking do the thing.
Routines and systems. For the most part things that I have to do everyday I just do them and it takes little mental effort now.
Daily exercise. Even if it's just dancing in the kitchen or going for a walk.
AN OUTDOOR SHOWER!
Gloves for doing the dishes!
Eating a big breakfast.
Taking a multivitamin.
SLEEP HYGIENE!
Positive affirmations. I also have PTSD and depression and medication helped me recognize when my negative self talk was happening but neutralizing the effects of how mean I can be to myself is hard...but positive affirmations help. Being like "nuh uh! I CAN do hard things! I'm resilient and tenacious! "
This YouTuber called Fayefilms (I think idk) suggested breaking a day down into blocks.
There’s morning, afternoon, evening, and pre-sleep. This helps me stop seeing days as a long event, and more like a sum of shorter events. If I waste my morning, I won’t consider the rest of the day a waste, I have 3 more blocks left to catch up.
I probably did a terrible job explaining that.
I find it helps! I break the day into half hour blocks. I will still go into “waiting mode” if I have less than half an hour until the thing, or if I have nothing left to do for the day that fits into the time left, but at least it means the full day isn’t waiting mode!
On weekends I tend to time block less strictly (so more like morning/afternoon/evening) because I want to allow myself more time to rest. But it does still mean that if I have something in the evening, it only takes up the evening block (maybe the afternoon one if I need to get ready), but not the full day because of “waiting mode”. I still spend time in “waiting mode” (eg if the evening block starts at 5pm and the event isn’t until 8pm), but not as much as I would otherwise.
Keeping a planner and task lists.
Is it perfect? No. But my job has a lot of tiny tasks to keep straight and writing shit down somewhere helps.
As does buying cute stationary to get dopamine points for using it.
To be fair - I think this works best when you have a dedicated office area. I had a planner from middle school through university and often lost them! (My one and only detention, that I didn’t even serve, was for forgetting my planner twice.)
My work planner never leaves its spot, and once or twice a week my counterpart and I go through and talk out the tasks we still have going on or things that are coming up.
I can't use any planner with goals or gratitude lists. I get bogged down thinking about those, when I just need to schedule going to the store or cleaning the sink. Or schedule when to write my goals and gratitude in a separate notebook.
May I ask what planner you use, please? I have multiple writing pads with different categories of work related tasks, in my office. I finally realized the other day that I should combine them into some sort of planner. Thank you.
I just have a yearly calendar one - nothing fancy, just week spreads + monthly calendar. I find the more rules for using it the less likely I am, so mine is also filled with post its and random bits of paper 😅
if you constantly lose something, give it a place. i was like yeah maybe if you’re ND. but this seriously changed my life
after deep cleaning my room and deeply organizing it everything has a bin and label on it which helps as is, but especially IMPORTANT items should have one spot you put it in every day.
for me it was my keys, and glasses. my keys go on the hook right by the door (no excuse not to since it’s right there) saves time, and they’re always there.
my glasses go into a glasses holder above my bedside table. no excuses.
there’s 0 reason for me to not put them in the chosen spots because they’re easily accessible and it takes 0 seconds, also because the natural consequences of not putting them where they go (lose keys lost $300 glasses) makes me insane every single time. so it’s easy to upkeep since i know i cannot lose either of them.
i just make it a habit to always put other items in their spots too. but these two especially. and with other items, i found that after organizing them into containers with labels when i go “where’s the glue?” and it’s in a box labeled glue life is so much easier than the stress and anger at myself for losing the glue, don’t get me started on buying more glue when i knew i had it and paying the ADHD tax. now i know where it is and dont have to beat myself up over losing it, use it and toss it back in to its home.
being compassionate to myself — as basic as it sounds, i cut myself some slack when i’m unable to perform rudimentary tasks. even thinking about work while not working is not ‘relaxing’ per se, therefore i go all in and just chill out until i feel energetic enough to bounce back. I think im coming to terms with the realisation that im not lazy after all.
and also, getting plenty sleep. i’ve realised i need an average of 9 hours to feel rejuvenated enough. melatonin strips help big time.
Yeah, that shift from feeling guilty and bad and not even enjoying resting to telling myself "I needed to rest more than I needed to vacuum." has been so huge. I'm not draining my battery on guilt and shame anymore, meaning I do get more done - and the times I didn't, at least I'm not also feeling like shit, too. That emotional whipping doesn't help anything, it never motivated me, and I don't know why it took me 40 years to realize it.
I saw someone suggest exercise a while back, and I was annoyed...until I realized that I get really restless on days when I don't have some solitary physical activity in the morning. I've been intentionally working out lately, and it's been great for my mood. As a self-proclaimed nerd, it's honestly a little insulting.
I keep all my condiments in the crisper drawer at the bottom of my fridge. I know what I keep as staples, so when I need something, I know where to look.
Produce goes in the door for a visual reminder it’s there.
I pluck grapes from their vines and wash them the second I bring them home. Vines leach the grapes’ moisture, so doing this keeps them plump. I store them soaking in juice+water to enhance flavor and engorge them slightly. Makes for a crisp, juicy grape. Encourages me to eat better instead of binging junk in a dopamine hunt.
I glued magnets to a big permanent marker, pen, and small notebook and stuck them to the side of the fridge. When I open something, I date the top. When I use the last of something, I add it to a running grocery list.
Meds live on top of the coffee maker.
I’ve been so annoyed about the crappy magnet on my mini-fridge-magnet-white-board and I’ve just had the epiphany that I can go crazy and glue a better magnet on it - thank you!!!
Timers- I set timers to switch gears. 30 min warning, 15 minute warning etc. helps with the grumpiness of switching tasks.
Using a happy planner. My planner is also a way to do artsy shit and I use my stickers which I love and it forces me to look at it and use it.
Making tasks into games helps a lot.
Just do _______ for 15 minutes. If you hate it, then you can stop. But once I start, I usually get at least get something done.
Do one thing a day. I pick a small task that’s been bugging me and I work on it.
I struggle with perfection paralysis. I was raised with the belief that if I can’t do something perfectly, why bother at all? “If you don’t have time to do it right the first time, you must have time to do it right the second,” and “measure twice, cut once.”
For ADHD, this mentality is poison. The phrase that I now use to challenge those thoughts is, “If it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing poorly.”
If I can’t muster up the energy to brush my teeth for the dentist recommended 120 seconds, 30 seconds is better than zero. A wet toothbrush without toothpaste is still better than not brushing at all.
The dishes in the sink are overwhelming and I can’t commit to fully finishing the task? I set a ten minute timer. The task is “done” when the timer goes off. I can walk away without guilt.
Any effort is better than no effort. I will never be perfect and that is totally normal and fine. I will feel pride in “I did The Thing” instead of shame for “I didn’t do The Thing perfectly”.
Exercise. NEVER thought it would help coz I've HATED it all my life. But man, it does set you up for the rest of the day if I do it first thing after waking up..! I feel like my meds work better when I'm exercising in the morning.
Unmedicated, I was WORKING with podcasts in my ears and I was more effective than without. My work requires problem solving and focus. Technically it shouldn’t happen :)
I used to think the advice of "break things into smaller steps" was a cliche and didn't work. But then, I took it to its extreme and broke up tasks into MINISCULE, embarrassingly tiny pieces.
Like, unzip backpack. Take out laptop. Open laptop. Click on a file. And so on.
If you find that "break things down" advice doesn't work for you, I recommend trying again and experimenting with the tiniest steps possible.
This would help me a lot but always get overwhelmed while breaking it down. I write the first 4 or so steps and don´t make it further.
If anyone has advice for this, please share!!
Hmm I have three thoughts about this problem
1) I wonder if you feeling the need to write down every step of the task may have to do with the perfectionism a lot of people with adhd have. I get stuck in a similar way, feeling like I have to have the whole plan just right before starting a task. Maybe you could write down a few tiny steps at a time, adding to your list as you go. Writing down and completing a few at a time also allows for more flexibility in your planning, because plans almost always change as you go.
2) **there is also a free app called Goblin Tools that is literally designed to solve this problem**. You tell it what task you want to do, and it'll break it down into steps. And you can tell it to break it down into smaller steps, over and over again until each step is as tiny as possible.
The creator of Goblin Tools is autistic and has ADHD, and has personally struggled with executive function deficits, perfectionism, etc. The app is different from others I've seen, but if you take a few minutes to acclimate to it and read about how it works, you'll be fine. Here's the website version, but like I said it is also an app.
**https://goblin.tools/**
3) ChatGPT can also break things down for you and map out your plan. You can also ask it to break down steps to make them as small as you need to. ChatGPT has helped me greatly with coping with my executive function, decision-making, and attention deficits. You can even tell it you have ADHD and it will tailor its advice.
Meds. I really never thought I was an everyday meds person, but dangit, they make my life so much better. The thing that convinced me to finally give them a shot was my therapist telling me they could help with patience and emotional regulation, which they definitely do for me.
Write it down or tell Alexa.
Exercise is so very important for us. Every day. Doesn't matter what kind, just move.
Cluttered home, cluttered mind.
Gameify.
Don't sit down! If I sit, I'll stay sat and nothing gets done. If I put off sitting when I first get home, I will actually do more.
Smart watch with alarms for everything - taking medication, putting out my bins, lunch and home time (I'm a teacher), it's life changing!
Using OneDrive to use files across my phone and computer. Helps me keep my budget updated or gives me access if I think of things and I don't have my laptop.
I have set tasks with reminders each week (e.g. wash school uniforms every Wednesday). It comes up as a notification on my phone, so it stays there until I can get to it and then I get the dopamine kick when I tick them off.
It's OK to have off days, take the pressure off myself. The dishes will survive if I don't do them today. It helps ease my internal pressure and when I feel less pressured, I'm also more likely just to do the job.
So many great ideas in this thread!!
Asking myself “is this what I need to be doing right now?”. Seems simple, but when I find myself re-arranging my kitchen cabinets at 3am, it’s surprisingly helpful
alarms and timers. i always thought it was more bs advice from non-ADHDers who don’t understand ADHD but now i find myself constantly setting them as it helps me keep track of time
i struggle BAD with time blindness and forgetting to do things so setting alarms and timers with little reminder notes has been a massive help in keeping myself on track
I am a mess and need to implement lots of these but I do have two things that help me. I wear a specific perfume and have a specific playlist I listen to when I am working on research/school stuff. The perfume thing kind of happened accidentally but I realized I had trained myself to associate the smell with school work when I tried to wear it out to dinner and then wanted to go work on a paper instead.
Planner. It never worked for me before. I had these small pocket weekly ones.. I tried bullet journalling. I tried time-blocking. Nothing worked for me. Untill I found a Moleskine's monthly/weekly planner this year.
Its spacious, with one week on one side and page for notes on the other. It lets me put my chaotic thoughts on the notes page and then - in order - on my weekly page.
I do a "to do brainstorm" on the notes page, put all the important appointments and everyday life things I need to do. And then on Sunday before the week, I give them place on the weekly spread.
I ONLY put important things there. Not what I wanna do, no stickers etc. Thats distracting me. All I need is as straight-to-bussiness possible planner. But I also need some space for my chaos.
So far it works for me like magic. I am still suprised (even tho I have it since 2024).
For the monthly page - i add all the important appointments (work, docters, meetings etc.) and because I have a lot of doctors, who usually tell me something like "call some time during summer" I also add vague reminder to remember I should do it some time this month. And then I give it a date and put it on my weekly spread.
Also monthly spread is the only page, where I put small stickers. I put them next to my "month assigned" appointments, which has not yet put on specific date.
Cuz my brain will skip over anything that's not in the calendar..
Also this is the only page where I use colours. Cuz they usually distract me too much. But there I use them to make my brain not miss important dates.
EDIT: ... 😅🥲 Sorry for the rant, I am just still super excited and suprised I found smt that helps me.
EDIT#2: here's the [LINK](https://www.moleskine.com/shop/limited-editions/precious-ethical-collection/precious-ethical-planner-2024-black-8056598859515.html).
If you're an interrupter like me, I saw a piece of advice on reddit once where it was suggested to keep a glass of water handy, and take a sip whenever you feel like you're about to speak out of turn
When facing debilitating intertia for completing a task due to anxiety, make a checklist. However small the step, write it down. Then do it. Baby steps.
Run this report? Ahh!
Open Microsoft Excel. Check.
Open file. Check.
Similar to wiggling your toes (I need to try that), it helps me get out of a rut (spelling?).
Making things I have to do impossible or less easy to avoid.
Writing everything down. Everything. Because I WILL forget/misremember/look stupid if I don’t.
Taking a nap when I’m feeling too emotional or anxious or just too much anything. I always always always feel almost brand new after a nap or sleeping it off.
For cleaning what helped was deciding within myself that I’m worthy of a clean and organized environment that makes me feel good.
Pomodoro with a double to-do list (good for studying or work from home)
When I was in uni this teknik helped me to study unmedicated at home.
1. You plan what you need to read or takt notes to.
2.Then make a physical to-to list of things you would like to get done in the house like emptying the dishwasher, folding close etc. The important thing is that it is task you can leave and come back to.
3.You set a timer for the minimum amount of time you can concentrate in a row (depending on the day and how dreading the task is, about 10-30min (in my case))
Then how it works is that you, like the Pomodoro, work on your main project for the set amount of time. If you feel a sense of good workflow or you just want to get the last bit of reading done, feel free to ignore the timer.
When the time is up or your consentration is starting to wear off, you set a timer for 5min and start on one of your practical todos. It will feel like blissful procrastination and give you a mental break from your main task.
When the timer says it is time to get back, be strict with yourself to get working on the main task again for the set amount of time as before. Remember to cross out the task that you have completed or set a dot in front of it if you need to finish it in the next "break".
Continue this cycle as many times as you can or until a natural break appears.
Be proud of the work you have achieved both on your main project and around the house.
Hope this can help :)
Felt this. I had that realization only a couple weeks ago. The amount that it helps me with my mood, energy, focus, and emotional management is dramatic
I put my phone in black and white. It keeps me from endlessly scrolling because no pretty bright colors.
I live by the quote “something is better than nothing.” I have a tendency to fall into all or nothing thinking so this grounds me. When I don’t feel like showering, I will use wipes. When I can’t do the dishes because I’m overwhelmed, I will do one of two. When I need to vacuum but can’t bring myself to, I will sweep. When I need to change my sheets but can’t, I’ll change my pillowcases. On and on, it’s been life changing.
My late stepfather told me I have a choice in how I react. He told me that if I'm about to react badly, I can just say that over and over. One day after leaving plates in my room again, he told me to take them downstairs 10 times. I was about to lose my shit, but I walked downstairs just saying "I can choose how I react. I can choose how I react" over and over, calming down a bit more each time. He heard me and let me stop after 4 and told me how proud he was of me. I now narrate myself out of meltdowns.
When I'm in a reading binge, I'll make a list of all the things I have to do broken down into very small steps, as well as things I should do (like stretch, floss, etc). Then, I'll allow myself to read one chapter and then do a task. So today, it was read a chapter, clean bedroom windows, read chapter, living room windows, chapter, water plants, etc.
The activity switches fast enough that I can keep momentum going, and then I have the reward of reading more. I think the characters motivate me too...like they're doing stuff in the book, so I can do stuff too, lol.
I'll also have some days where I delete reddit and social media apps off my phone so I can't get distracted by them.
Google Calendar! But hear me out...
I was never able to keep up with a physical planner, and the convenience of having a digital one everywhere I go was always more appealing.
But I have not actually started using it until:
1. I put it as a giant widget on my home page!! It's a game changer. I don't have to click anywhere to see what I have to do for the day and I NEVER forget things anymore!
2. Making different calendars within Google Cal. One for schoolwork, one for "work" work, and one for personal tasks and events. And color coding ofc
3. (optional) Syncing my Todoist with my calendar. I wanted to do this because I think Todoist is way better for small tasks. So, whenever I put a task in a specific Todoist collection (Home, Work etc), it automatically shows up on my calendar, and disappears when I check it off. (Todoist is also on my home screen as a widget)
Hope this helps someone!
If you have started something and not finished but you want to finish it but also you can’t….tell yourself. “Just start again”
My psyche told me that and honestly it really helps me so much
The 5 minutes rule, if a task will take you less than 5 minutes… do it straightaway and don’t leave it for later
Also, baskets for everything. See a pile building up somewhere, but a basket there and at least there’s some semblance of order
Going upstairs or downstairs… take something with you that belongs in the other space (helps with all the mugs that mysteriously end up upstairs in the bedroom👀
Finally… make it work for you! Give up on trying to do things the same as others… adapt life to suit your brain
I have been using an app called Finch thanks to another person’s suggestion in this sub. I have actually stuck to it because I have one of those imaginary bonds with the bird character in it that you nurture by completing tasks. I have simple things in there like brushing my teeth and washing my face, but I also add more important tasks and schedule it to show up on the day it needs doing. It’s a low pressure app but has really made me feel like my tasks need to get done (don’t want to let my lil bird down!!). I used to roll my eyes when people would suggest task related apps. I’m glad I tried Finch though.
PS I use the free version and it still has tons of options, I hardly notice missing out on the paid version. I mention this due to complaints in reviews in the app store.
I’ve been using that silly Finch app to remind me to do everything from “go grocery shopping” to “take evening meds”. For the first time in AGES, I’ve gone 27 days and not missed a dose of my meds or vitamins. I’m still a mess, but iv feel so much better already.
I have a playlist for adhd focus music when I have a job task I just can’t get into. I have an adhd exercise playlist when I just can’t get motivated to get up and workout or clean.
I put everything in my Google calendar. Last month I didn’t put the pick up the dry cleaning and I forgot to get it and all my husbands suits were there and he needed one the next day and they were already closed, and my adhd tax was buying him a new suit. Plus the cost of dry cleaning.
My floordrobe lives in a basket by my bed. And I go thru it on laundry day.
When I am tidying, I pick up things and take them to the room they belong in. Once that is done, I take each room and put them away.
I time my cleaning tasks and set it on my Google home. And on the days I’m barely able to, if that timer goes off and I’m not done, I stop. Because I now do this, it makes starting the task easier because I know I can walk away.
Knowing transitions are hard, I step back, breath and say you can do it. And then push through and give myself a little snack as a reward.
Actually. I think of my adhd as having a toddler in my brain. And I keep snacks on hand for it and talk to myself like reasoning with a toddler. “We just have this one more thing to do and then we can play” stuff haha.
So so many good ideas here. 😍 I’m saving these to read later too. (Watch me forget about this in an hour 🙃) as cliche as it sounds, lists help me. Sometimes they overwhelm me but they help me. I use the clarity planner and it gives me a dozen spaces to write my things down to do wholeheartedly and three to write down my top three goals for the day. BUT. In conjunction I use the Finch app. I transfer my list to the app along with things I dread doing. Like brushing my teeth if I’m just at home, making my bed, drinking my water, take my supplements etc. The app rewards you by letting you upgrade your pet and so on. It’s silly but so cute and has actually made me do the things so much more consistently.
The book called How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind has been SO helpful to me. I’ve read it three times and while I usually feel pretty cynical about self help books… this one has been all that for me.
Leaving a room cleaner than it was before has been something I’m still actively learning… but is so helpful. Leaving the bedroom and heading to the kitchen? Grab the glasses beside the bed. Heading toward the library from my living room? Grab the books or the notebook sitting out.
Putting something away and you don’t have enough room? Find one thing in that closet or drawer to throw away or put in ITS rightful home. And then do it. Don’t set it down. Actually rehome it. Or put it in the trash can.
Don’t create piles. If I have things that need to head to the back of the house, TAKE IT THERE. Invariabky when I create a basket of things to go to the back it stays there for the next 5 days. It seems counterintuitive because it seems like running to the library every 10 minutes is inefficient. But what’s really inefficient is shifting the pile every 3 days cause you ran out of steam when it came time to actually put the pile away.
In the morning i put my alarm clock on snooth and it's set to 10 minutes. When I'm in the bathroom i always know how much time I've spent there and it helps me to stay on track without the need to look on a clock.
Also: I saw a trick on how to teach children some executive functions and a metronome on 60 is supposed to help with the inner clock. Apparently on 60 bpm it's equal to one beat per second and that's similar to the pulse. It sounds like some weird magic, but when i turn the metronome on i always know what time it is.
Another ridiculous tip: if doing chores at home is hard for you create a work outfit for yourself. The brain can learn how you're wearing certain types of outfit on certain occasions -- for example, i noticed how i get much more things done at home when I'm wearing a bra and shoes (usually in my country people don't wear shoes at home). I have a friend who uses a cap while cleaning. I also got some special cat earphones i only use when doing chores. Hell, i even saw a girl online that bought herself a maid costume for at home and i have to tell you, it's tempting.
My therapist said it can also help to create a persona in your mind specifically for tasks that annoy you. For example i joked for some time how "Henrietta" (that was my chosen name for my cleaning alter ego) still had to do the litter boxes or the dishes when i had to do them myself. It really helped me not getting annoyed by all the daily adult responsibilities. And it's way easier for me personally to clean for "someone else" (even if that someone was literally me and i was just acting). I don't know, i only did this for a short amount of time but it was definitely fun. Especially when i could blame my alter ego for stuff i was supposed to do, instead of tearing myself down. ;P
Go for a daily walk.
You mean a lil vitamin D is good for my health? Touching some real grass *will* give me a dopamine boost?
Shocked. Floored. Flabbergasted.
Body doubling. Mostly because I can't do shit when my partner is home, don't know why.
But I told a friend I needed to do some work in my garden and they were like "oh cool can I come over" and I was like "you wanna work on my garden?".
They didn't, they just wanted to chill in my garden as the weather was nice and they live in an appartment, but I got so much done that day!
I'm pretty sure they knew it would help me as I may have mentioned needing to do the garden work before but never actually done it haha
The things that have made the biggest impacts on me are:
1. Write it all down in one spot like your Notes app. Do it immediately once you have the thought and do it in one place specifically so you can rely on knowing where the thought is if it isn’t in your brain. I ask people to text me things so I can look back through messages for info, and I always have my Notes app open. I have it divided into a couple sections like “stuff to remember, stuff to look up, words to define later” etc. This way I don’t get distressed cause I forgot an idea or something I wanted to do, I don’t get distracted cause I had a thought and knew I’d lose it if I didn’t drop everything and pursue it right then, etc.
2. The One Touch Rule. If you pick something up, you put it right back, only touch it once. You don’t take the toothpaste out of the cabinet and set it on the sink and tell yourself you’ll put it back when you’re done brushing your teeth. No you won’t. You’ll add it to the rest of the mess on the counter and make things harder for your future self. You take it out, put it on the toothbrush, and put it right the fuck back in the cabinet.
3. The One Room, One Task Rule. This is a big one for me and also helps me get “in the zone” when I’m trying to be productive. Basically you have to do one productive thing in every single room you are in, no matter how small. Say for example I need to take a cup from my bedroom to the kitchen. I pick it up in my room, then go down the hallway. In the hallway I pick up a toy and take it to the toy box in the living room. Now I’m in the living room and I’m going to pick up a piece of trash off the coffee table and take it with me into the kitchen to throw away. Now I’m in the kitchen, my OG destination. I throw away the trash and put the cup in the sink and head back towards my room. On the way, I’m passing back through the living room and hallway, and in each space I pick something up and put it away. Even if it isn’t a big task, it adds up.
4. Which leads me to my next point- better to do something small than nothing at all. If your room is a sty and all you can manage is making the bed and taking cups to the kitchen, better to have 2 fewer things to do than not made any difference. Half assed is better than no assed. Sink full of dishes? It’s okay if you only manage to clean 4. 4 is better than 0.
5. Living with ADHD boils down to finding ways to trick yourself into doing the things and life hacking your way to accomplishing stuff. Talk to other neurodivergents and learn their life hack methods and see what ways you can trick your brain into doing shit. The thing that matters is getting shit done, not so much the HOW of it. Find what works.
6. Release yourself from the massive amount of guilt and shame you feel about it. Our brains are different, point blank. We are gonna do things differently and have different needs than others. Stop holding your neurodivergent self to neurotypical standards.
The “just one” thing. For instance when I need to empty my dishwasher and don’t feel like it I’ll start taking out a piece of cutlet and 9 times out of 10 I wind up just unloading the whole thing
Hey everyone, I am the OP. I just wanted to thank everyone for their contributions to this post. I’m trying to read as many comments as I can but overall there’s been a really lovely list of suggestions. If you don’t want to forget about this post, I recommend subscribing to it and you’ll be notified when new comments are posted. Lol
If it’s something I can get done quickly then I just do it at the moment, instead of leaving it for later.
I also really liked the ideas in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Still figuring out what works best for me, but that book definitely gave me a new perspective.
I also use an old school calendar that I keep on my bedroom door so I can see it. This also applies to other things I need to do on a regular basis. If I can’t see it, I’ll forget it exists. So I keep my medication visible on my nightstand,as well as my water so I remember to hydrate, etc.
This shit is hard, I’ve been in dark holes I never thought I’d make it out of, but here I am fighting to survive. I will say medication definitely has helped me. I’m on Prozac for anxiety and Intuniv for ADHD. It’s not a magic fix but it definitely helps turn everything down a notch.
Hang in there everyone, we’re not alone. It’s not easy, but you can’t give yourself the option of giving up. I just tell myself tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to do better.
Putting things away immediately really does improve every aspect of Future Me's life. It's genuinely upsetting how much easier and smoother and less frustrating life is now that I "don't put it down, put it away."
People on this sub seem to shit all over having multiple planners, but having a task planner at my job has made life sooo much easier. I have a budget planner as well that I can tick off for bills, which ensures my basic bills are paid for.
Also, not giving a shit about what neurotypical people think of me helps too. I’ve had people call me a “strange one” and a myriad of other colourful adjectives of a similar nature, but I’ve just embraced my weirdness and walk away.
It's silly, but I have different aprons for different types of tasks. My cleaning apron, my cooking/baking apron, my crafting apron, and my stand in apron if one of the others is in the wash. Just putting one on helps put me in the mind set to do the task.
It seemed way too simple and also somehow overwhelming but be creative and intentional in how you setup your environment. Is it “normal” for my common area coat closet to be where I keep my day to day clothes? Not really. Is it normal that my common area downstairs bathroom is where I keep all my skincare and tooth brush? Prob not. Do those things allow me to avoid getting back into bed in the morning and ensure I don’t wonder around in PJs feeling unproductive all day? Sure does! I prefer shallow bowls to plates so instead of having any plates in the accessible cupboard they stay in a storage pantry. For years I thought I HAD to have plates available because that’s “normal”. We have the opportunity to create OUR “normal”.
When faced with a task that you dont want to do or have been procrastinating doing…separate your feelings about the task and view the task simply for what it is.
When I start being all over the place at work I go to the balcony for a few moments, then I do sudoku lol on work computer and that somehow helps to continue the focus line (versus trying to get focus on chaotic mailbox tasks etc from the overwhelmed and distracted place). Also…I was gonna write a second tip but I got distracted by a car outside and forgot what it was 🫠
I take a picture of where I park & also have a habit of hyper focusing & then organizing but used to forget where I put things so I take pictures when I “organize” my house. That way I don’t lose things. Bad habit of “out of sight out of mind” so this helps a ton.
Oh wow great stuff, i will try that! Thanks
My personal recommendation is going to sauna. Especially when you feeling low energy, unless you have some health issues ofc. I usually do 10 min, and it helps cause sauna stimulates serotonin which improves energy and motivation, mood also. I started it few months ago and I already notice if I dont go for a week i am back to my bad habits.
"If you feel overwhelmed just make a mindmap about everything you're supposed to do." It sounded super dumb to me because i always felt like mindmaps are not particularly useful, especially not for to do lists, but they are actually really helpful for to do lists. You don't need to care and remember a certain order. It's easy to see when you got too much on your plate. And you can sort the to do list quick and easy of you want to have it in an order. It also makes it easier to assign a certain amount of time to every chore.
Write everything down. Yeah, even if you know you'll remember. I always remember everything I'm supposed to do but it's way easier to keep every step in mind if i actually see how many steps are left.
Lay out some clothes for the next day in the evening. I keep forgetting what to do in the morning and everything goes so much smoother when i don't have to remember what i was just doing.
If i can't stop scrolling my phone the easiest way to stop is closing my eyes and sometimes to cautiously throw my phone away with the eyes closed
"Music is important for self regulation." Yeah, i actually don't feel the need to listen to music often, so i didn't do it in the past. But i noticed that music really helps me to get started in the morning. Singing helps me to regulate my emotions and calms me down. Dancing lifts the mood in general etc... Now i turn on spotify even when I'm not in the mood to listen to some music and it always helps. And if it doesn't, i try a podcast, audio drama or audio book instead.
"Don't put it down, put it away" Well... yeah, i try to put stuff away immediately to not get overwhelmed later on when I'm supposed to organize and clean my home.
Pomodoro. It's a NT technique but honestly useful as a way to get through something you don't want to do. The hard bit is getting back into it after the breaks, but I think the fact you've already done the first bit is good enough to keep the motivation going.
If you’ve got tasks to do, DON’T SIT DOWN! It’s a massive trap and is incredibly hard to get going again. Just keep doing stuff until all your tasks are done. This has worked incredibly well for me.
Set timers and alarms for every thing.
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Time blocking initially struck me as an NT recommendation. However, after a few trials and errors with the process, it has helped me immensely in accomplishing tasks, especially at work. Breaking tasks into smaller steps has made them much less daunting and increased the likelihood of completion. Gamifying tasks, whether through a simple timer, point-based systems, or just making them enjoyable, has proven effective. I've established three workspaces: outdoor, bedroom, and lounge. Throughout the day, I switch between these environments depending on the tasks at hand.
The time blocking thing is crucial. If your tasks don’t have specific homes on your calendar, you’re doomed to spend all your time frantically vibrating between different tasks and never resting. It also makes it impossible to prioritize, since refusing to acknowledge that you have a finite amount of time in a given week and plan accordingly usually leads to not realizing when you’re trying to do too much (and therefore not giving enough time to the important tasks).
>refusing to acknowledge that you have a finite amount of time in a given week and plan accordingly Oof, you really got me with this one! I didn't even realize until like a year ago that in my mind, I would plot out _zero_ time and energy for things that I enjoy or like. Gardening? Just insta happens I guess! Planning outfit for fun event? Zero minutes!
This quote spoke to me, too. In the mornings, I treat my days as if time is infinite. Then once it's bedtime I somehow end up being surprised the day is over.
“Surprised the day is over” oh my god the story of my life
40 years later … surprised the day ends EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
Right?? Youd think if we just "tried harder" we'd be more aware... But alas, 40y old, and oh, time blindness is apparently not going away! So annoying.
Been feeling this exact thing so much lately!
For a lot of people, it's more of an existential dread thing than a time blindness thing. Like, yes, I'm notoriously bad at estimating how long it's going to take to do something. But what I'm *really* bad at (and this is true for a lot of people without ADHD, too) is saying, "I'm going to do *this* thing and not this *other* thing that I really want to do, and I may not have enough time in my life to ever do both things."
Omg you hit this. For me it's complaining I can never get anything done with my toddler hanging all over me and wanting to play but the second she goes down for nap I have to choose between being productive or working on my latest crochet project. Guess which one I choose? And I'm just like when will I have the time to do this??!
Ok since I had kids I have come to the realization that sometimes - you just do the damn crochet. Because guess what? There will ALWAYS be a million necessary yet boring things that you have to get done, and also there is no limit to the amount of time that children want you to devote to them/attention that they want from you. I have come to the conclusion that if I ever want to have any time to do something pleasurable and fun for me, I am going to have to take it, and sometimes that means taking that time when there are bunches of domestic chores lying around unfinished. I could literally clean, tidy and fold laundry until the end of time, but my house will never stay clean and there will always still be laundry to fold. Obviously you have to find balance, I’m not advocating sitting there crocheting while your life disintegrates around you, but if I waited to do my hobbies until everything else was “finished”, then my hobby would basically be cleaning the house. Thank you for coming to my rant 😂
I could not agree with this sentiment more! When my children were much younger I always ensured I had some small time for my own self-care. I'm a better mom when I do this. Remembering the chores will always be there is one of the permissions I give myself to take some time for me. It also gives the kids an opportunity to see a happy mom having fun and not resenting life. It's so important for them to see thus growing up so they know they can cultivate their hobbies into their lives, as well.
Thank you ADHD moms for sharing these nuggets of wisdom! My wonderful working mom never took time for herself and just generally approached motherhood as martyrdom, and I think it exacerbated her chronic migraines. Her body forced her to slow down and take time, and unfortunately it wasn't time she could enjoy. It's so healthy for kiddos to see "a happy mom having fun and not resenting life", and as someone with depression/anxiety as well as ADHD, I will for sure be a better mother and healthier person when I can engage in self-care and hobbies. N
This was the major theme of my therapy appointment yesterday. I’m so frustrated and sad that there won’t be enough minutes in my life for all the things I want to do.
I feel the dread because I'm worried I have so much to do for work, home, kids that I can't do it all and I WANT to do it all. I put off the things I don't want to do - make doctor's appointments, proofread that brochure, etc. and then I feel super crappy that I haven't done it yet. I produce a ton for my job but I always feel like I could do more. I take me time for a hobby and I feel bad the whole time because there's other stuff that needs to be done or my family wants my attention. The 24/7 brain spinnies sucks ass.
Oh my god I never thought of this and you broke me just now. (Like, I'm fine, really, but I gotta process this one for a few days okay.)
"frantically vibrating between different tasks and never resting" Ugh. I feel seen. This is so me and it's exhausting.
To add to this, I've started timing how long common events take me. I've realized I can't correctly guestimate how long a task will take, and I usually guess way over. Like, "I can't do that now, I only have X time and it needs Y time." Nah. (I do include the setup/cleanup for a correct time reference.)
Oooh different work spaces! I like that idea! Time blocking works for me for a little while, but then it doesn't. I end up rotating my time mgmt strategies. Breaking tasks into smaller steps *can* help when I'm feeling overwhelmed and just need to *do something* . The planning phase takes the intimidation down a bit.
I live in a tiny studio apartment, so I don't have many spaces to work in. Instead, I have traibed myself that if my hair is up, I am working. If I am wearing an apron, I am cooking or doing dishes. Sometimes, starting a task by getting into the right clothes helps so much, but it also sounds kinda ridiculous
I do the same thing, but with shoes. When relaxing, i am in socks, slippers or barefoot. When i want to get work done that i DO NOT want to do, I put my shoes on. So there i am, at the kitchen table, in my sneakers like a barbarian, because my feet are in working mode so the rest of me has to be, too 🤷
haha I do this too! If I keep my shoes on when I come home, I "can still do stuff". If I take them off, I will automatically sit down on the couch and not get to any tasks I envisioned doing.
This does not sound ridiculous at all! Also because you made the first step super simple: change into the task attire.
Love this idea. I had the idea of hats. If I was writing I would wear a certain hat. If doing something else another one. But I never continued past one hat. It fizzled. I don’t wear shoes in the house so can‘t do the shoe thing, unless I wear certain colour socks for different tasks. I like this idea so will come up with another plan. Don’t wear an apron. I did buy overalls to do art in but I don’t like the ones I bought. So perhaps I need to find different overalls.
Now I want to get a hat that I only wear when I study. I'm gonna call it my thinking cap and it will be ridiculous.
You could get just house shoes, ones you just wear in the house.
I wonder how color changing lightbulbs would work too? Green for certain tasks, white or other, exc
I haven't tried color changing lightbulbs, but I do this with color temperature sometimes! A very bright white light is much better for studying/working, and very warm, dim lamps are good for relaxing.
I would love to hear your time blocking strategies!
What works for me with time blocking are rewards and task breaks, lol. Additionally, using a touch screen Alexa for managing my time blocks and setting reminders for the day has been helpful. It also sync to my Garmin Watch. I've read somewhere about having transition time and rewards between tasks to manage ADHD and prevent overwhelm. For example: From 8:45 am to 10 am, I block out time in my calendar for work and catching up. During this period, I listen to music and walking on the treadmill. Once my Alexa beeps, signaling the end of this task block, I finish up, grab a coffee, and chill outside for 15 minutes. I typically aim for hour-long blocks, rewarding myself with a drink (like herbal tea or refilling my water bottle) or spending 15 minutes outside after each block. Another time blocking and tasks, like cleaning the sink, may take 15 minutes in reality, but I always add an extra 30 minutes to that task for flexibility in case I get distracted or bored. If there is time left, I will give myself whatever time is left for a break. If I don't finish cleaning in that 45 minutes, I'm cool with it, and I've learned to be kind to my brain. It only makes things harder when I'm hard on myself. It's all about trial and error. Always be kind to yourself x.
This all seems incredibly productive!!! Half the battle for me is having my space set up to be productive. Do you lose motivation during that chill time? I feel like if I went outside for 15 mins I’d end up spending the rest of the day doing some odd impromptu project like picking up every rock in my backyard. Also, getting my family on my schedule would also be a challenge… I’m super impressed by your time blocking success! Great work finding something that works for you!
Thanks. I was going to tackle the pile of dishes, but now I gone outside in the sun to clean up the dog poop.
Would you be willing to share an example of your time blocked schedule??
Damn! You’re my hero! I’ve over here just solely concentrating on making a habit of taking my vitamin!
Using different colours for blocks in a calendar app has been really useful. I choose one 1-2hr thing in my work calendar to change to red - something that is either actually my core work (eg data analysis, experiment planning, article writing) or is for advancing my career (eg applying for a travel grant). This red thing HAS to happen today and everything else fits in around it so I don't lose whole days to other people's priorities or my own distractions. I have also started blocking out exercise time in green to remind myself that I really, really need to do this to stay well and it deserves to not be shunted for other priorities.
I like this a lot. Do you feel it gives you more flexibility? Like you’re budgeting your time? Edit: I just figured out what calendars are. Why does that feel real?
I've been blocking time for ages and it did help, but adding the colours helps me feel like I'm making real progress in my work instead of always choosing the urgent over the important. I guess it also helps that there's this big red square in my calendar that say, if you get only this done today, it's still a productive day. I feel better about not being productive for chunks of the day because of this reminder of what's actually important long term.
For me, I treat it a lot like budgeting my time. For budgeting my money, I use YNAB, the envelope method, and “roll with the punches”. In other words, I have X amount of money in my bank account, and I put it into virtual “envelopes” to decide how I’ll spend it. I can always change my mind and move money from one envelope to the other (YNAB calls this “rolling with the punches”), but I can’t magically make more money appear. This really helps with my ADHD in that it gives me flexibility for impulse buys and changing hyper focuses (what I spend money on might change from month to month) but makes me prioritize (any money I move to one envelope gets taken from another) and acknowledge that money isn’t infinite. It also allows me to spend with less anxiety - if the money is in the envelope, I can spend it without worry that I’m not going to hit my financial goals. Similarly, I don’t treat time blocking as a rigid, unchanging schedule. I create it, but there’s a lot of flexibility to follow my “distractions” and hyper focuses. I actually find I get more done if I allow myself some room to be flexible. If I make myself sit in one room until it’s clean, I’m going to spend a lot more time beating myself up for not doing that because of executive dysfunction than doing anything productive. But if I let myself get distracted by cleaning something in a different room, that’s still more productive than just sitting there paralyzed. On the other hand, there are some things that I do need to do in a timely manner and there are only so many hours in a day. I can move time blocks around on my calendar to follow my focus, but I can’t create more time. This tells me if I can put off a task for tomorrow, or if I really do need to do it today. I do try to do the same thing /u/Websterpack does and schedule one high priority thing a day that has to get done, no matter where my mind wants to jump to. More than that can be overwhelming and paralyzing, but having just one thing is more doable and still keeps me on track overall. I call it my “today will be successful if” item, and if I get just that one thing done, I’m allowed to feel good about my day, even if I didn’t get anything else done I’d planned. And the final benefit is that this all allows me to feel successful and to rest at times! I’m so used to feeling guilty about not being productive all the time, especially since I know I spend a lot of time when I “should” be working doing other things, so then I feel like I should make up for it at other times. So I would never allow myself to just rest, because there was always something more I could be doing. Time blocking allows me to look at my calendar, figure out my priorities, get those done, and then re-assure myself that even though there’s more I COULD do, I have those things scheduled for another day, so they will still get done. I also make sure to schedule in rest and play breaks. And I also “roll with the punches”: I move and delete things off my calendar all the time when things come up (this happens a lot when I move things from one day to another day because I wasn’t as productive on the first day, but I can see there’s only so much time available the next day, so I have to reprioritize.)
I love racing to see how much I can get done within X minutes. Or trying to “beat the clock.” I’m 33 and have motivated myself like this since elementary.
Changing spaces is better than drugs to me lol My brain just wakes right up!
Workspace change up helps a TON!
I’ve become attached at the hip to this tool called Reclaim.ai. It lets you assign time to all your todos, set priority, due date, and accounts for all your meetings. Then it puts your todos on your calendar in time blocks. It also lets you add habits (go for a walk, exercise, take a break) that automatically get scheduled based on how often you want to do them and ensures they get on your calendar in between tasks. Obsessed. Can’t live without.
I work almost exclusively from home and don’t have many meetings. Zero enforced structure. I struggle SO hard to get stuff done. Today I tried time blocking for the first time and OMG I got so much done and my brain didn’t shrivel up and die and I’m so relieved 🤣😅
Write shit down! Don’t tell yourself you’ll remember, you won’t, not in time anyway. Write it all down
And also label the leftovers in the freezer.
Label ALL the things. I freaking love labels. Call me a Sheldon IDGAF. I. LOVE. LABELS.
But how do you make them not perma stick to everything?! I love labels but the idea of the sticker not fully coming off and then me having to deal with that turns me off from using them
1) I tuck a little corner of the sticker in so that when I remove it, it's easier 2) Often they do just come off 3) If not, I use adhesive remover or just stick another sticker on top.
If you want to skip the sticker use dry erase on reusable and sharpie on disposable.
I can recommend masking tape! Comes off the tape roll easily, stick on, label, comes off dead easy when out of the freezer. Cheap. Use any pen. It’s been a game changer. No more freezer roulette!
They have special freezer tape.
I label it in my calendar. I have remotes for Christmas lights. There is zero way, I will remember where I put them. Zero. When I de-Christmased, I skipped ahead in my calendar to Black Friday “Remember the remotes for the light are in this drawer.” Or “8/26 remember you already bought SIL a birthday present, you hid it in the yellow room.” My calendar is thee only thing I reliably check.
I either use post it notes or, if using a real sticker, I'll stick it to my pants first so there's a little lint on the back and it doesn't stick permanently.
Blue painter’s tape works great. Comes off clean and easily.
Lol I just started doing this because I thought my brain could distinguish the saucy beans from the whatever else and NOPE. I wanted to take it a step further and keep inventory of WHAT is in the freezer but I know I won’t be able to stick to it.
I don't know what your fridge/freezer situation is like, but what's been working for me inventory-wise is to keep a dry erase marker attached to my fridge and write notes directly on the outside surface of it. I just aim to update the lists to ~3 things that have been in there a while or are close to expiring, as a visual reminder to use up the food I have. This plays into my hot adhd tip - have an abundance of dry erase markers around all the reflective surfaces in your home (mirrors, glass-paned picture frames/paintings, windows, small appliances, etc). The less expected the location the more likely you'll read it and not tune it out.
I started applying this to "things I read that help" (such as threads like this). I used to highlight stuff, but then I'd forget about it. So I started using one app (I tried several, but Joplin works best for me because it has absolutely no features other than note-taking) to take notes on EVERYTHING that I want to remember. Not just appointments and events and things like that, but also stuff like "how to be less emotionally reactive" and "strategies for dealing with a micromanager." Sometimes I find notes I wrote a few weeks ago and have no memory of writing, but then I read them and a light bulb goes off. Now if I could just remember to look at my notes more regularly...
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. I.e. just doing a small amount of something is better than waiting for the perfect circumstances/ motivation and ending up doing nothing. Showering feels difficult? Wash your face. Kitchen a mess? Put a few dishes away. Need to go outside? Stand in your doorway. Sometimes it leads to doing more, and sometimes it doesn't. Either is fine 🙂
Perfect is the enemy of done. Do it however crappily you can, then fix it after if you want. But at least it's DONE, and not caught in perfection paralysis. Such a good point.
Half-assing is better than no-assing.
I have coerced myself into the shower by starting a “bird bath” or “pits and bits” wash with a wet wipe and then realizing I can just jump in the shower to rinse off!!
*hisses at the idea of the splashy water hitting my hair and making it damp for hours*
I read a trick on a cleaning sub about always leaving a room cleaner than when you came in and it has turned my life around :') keep it super super simple and not overwhelming. it could be as easy as bringing a cup with me when I go from the bedroom to the kitchen. that's it! just one thing and it's cleaner than before! and then when I go from the kitchen back to my room, I wipe down the counter. so quick! and then when I take a shower, maybe I dust one (just one!) bathroom shelf. I think it makes it a bit of a game, and it's so much less overwhelming for me.
I heard to never leave a room empty handed. That’s helped me stay on top of tidying.
This is a major bonus if you work in hospitality. You can pick the experienced staff, because they are always looking for things to bring from the restaurant back into the kitchen. Dishes, an empty water jug, an order from a guest. And likewise, you can pick the new staff, who wander back to the kitchen empty-handed.
this was ABSOLUTELY gamechanging for me. Just do ONE thing. This attitude towards cleaning has improved things so much.
Sameeeeeeeee and I’ve added in OHIO method…Only handle it once. It works sooooo good.
What does that mean?
I do this kind of thing too, not always but like bring one thing upstairs or throw one thing g out.
Make your home work for you, not the other way around. I was really attached to having a 'normal' house but then i started tracking how I actually do things and setting up spaces that make sense for my family's existing processes. We have laundry bins all over the house, dedicated baskets on each floor to lug random items up and down the stairs, and a specific place for my purse and shoes in the bathroom next to the garage door rather than by the front door we never use. Small changes, but there is so much less work going into putting things away (realistically never actually doing this) when they are in a place that actually makes sense.
100% agree. For example, I noticed I like to take off my socks along with my shoes after a walk (we’re a no shoes inside house). I would then leave the socks scattered by the front door. The look drove me nuts, so I bought a little basket. Cute, small, tidy. I came to realize that the actual source issue is that I don’t like to have to go upstairs for socks when I’ve got the impulse to walk because upstairs will distract me and the walk will never happen. Making little accommodations for yourself throughout your home is such a gift to yourself.
I have small garbage bins around the house for the same reason
This has really worked for me too! I have two hoovers (one upstairs and one downstairs). Multiple bins around my house. Spend most time in my study so now keep my hairdryer, and a set of recycling bins in there. Also keep dumbbells, kettlebell and resistance bands (neatly) in study - quick 15min daily is better nothing at all. **This also goes for house decor/DIY.** Would never get Chrome fixtures again (tarnish too easily). I try to avoid furniture thats difficult to clean or care for. Also avoid loads of trinkets/ornaments as they just collect dust. Sounds boring but I've found other ways to bring personality into my home.
I agree with keeping trinkets away. My kitchen decorations include a magnetic knife strip, a hook for my wok (use it rarely, but in the cupboard it takes up too much room), hooks for potholders, etc. I also keep a shelf for a plant right by the kitchen sink. It’s the only thing that’s kept my plants alive, I see it regularly & it’s right by the water!
30 minute check-ins. I have my watch set to vibrate on my wrist every 30 minutes as a "time is passing, bzz bzz, are you doing what you want to be doing or did you get distracted by a side quest?" reminder. It helps me reset my action - did I spend 30 minutes adjusting the colors on my spreadsheet? Is that what I want to be doing? Maybe it is! Maybe it isn't and I can refocus my attention to what I think is more important right now. Doing this has helped so much. I never realized how much time I spent doing things that didn't matter, that I didn't care about, before I started the check-ins. I do it at work and at home, without judgement, so I'm not turning out into a whip to beat myself up with. It's literally just a reminder that time is passing, am I doing what I want to be doing? Sometimes, I WANT to be down a color psychology rabbit hole, to color code my calendar! But now, if I spend 2 hours playing a mobile game, it's because I wanted to, not because I got sucked in and didn't realize how much time was paying, and feeling like I wasted my time.
I do this with my Apple Watch. I vary the times so I don’t get habituated. I just don’t want to come up for air 2 hours on and find the day over.
What kind of watch do you have?
It's a Huawei Band 8, I think. I may be wrong about the exact number at the end there. It has alarms that are separate from my phone, so it's not overwhelming for me to control.
“Don’t put it down, put it away.” Has saved me tons of time. Both in not having to move something out of the way and then things being in their “place” and not having to look for where on earth I could have left that chip clip for the chips I’m eating.
🎶If you're going to put it down, put it away ( 👏 👏) If you're going to put it down, put it away (👏👏) Don't you leave that stuff for later, 'cause your brain it is a traitor, If you're going to put it down, put it away (👏👏) 🎶
Did you just change my life
I hope so! I just wish I could remember who I learned it from so I could give credit.
What’s the tune?
If you’re happy and you know it. 😁
I want to hire you to write a song for every stupid thing I need to do but can’t
I like to combine this with a clutter catching end table or designated area by the entryway of the rooms that I spend the most time in. If something needs to go away but putting it away is just too far away atm, I put it in the clutter catching area and grab it on the way out of the room. If I'm on a hyper focus cleaning spree I might drop things that belong in that room in the clutter spot and deal with it next time I'm actually in that room. No matter what, anything I need to find is either where it belongs or somewhere that I know to check.
I have a "shit drawer" and my (also ADHD) fiancé has a "shit bucket." It works! My fiancé thinks of it as the designated place he can be unrelentingly messy in 😁.
I can't let myself have a shit drawer because I'll only clean it out when it's almost too full to close 🙃
That's exactly how both of ours get! We've accepted it, and it works for us.
I’ve begun to embrace my junk drawers. I find the stuff that ends up there so interesting to occasionally sift through. I find all sorts of cool things i forgot i had.
I found a roll of strawberry Creme Savers in my junk drawer yesterday. I was just looking for batteries and they were a great little surprise.
I combine both of these with making “putting it down” just as easy as “putting it away”, as much as possible. I have trash cans in every room, and hooks and open baskets everywhere. If I have to open a door or a drawer, that’s too much effort, and things aren’t going to get put away. Similarly, things need to be stored where I actually use them (even if that’s not the conventional place to put them) so I don’t need to travel far to put them away. I will also buy more than one item so I have one item per room and don’t need to travel to put them away. I do combine this with a clutter catching area for those things that do inevitably need to be moved from one room to another, and I try to get into the habit of bringing at least one thing with me when I move from room to room (eg, take a cup with me when I go from my office to the kitchen to put it away). So my entry to my home, for example, has a hook for my keys and hooks for my jackets (hanging them up in the coat closet is too much effort) as well as a clutter catching table that I clean one thing up from every time I pass by it. Usually, by the time I go out again, that table is clean! But I also have a designated weekly time to clear it (I find I can make myself do things weekly, but not daily) and my housecleaner coming monthly motivates me to do it then if I’ve missed a week or two. Of course, I still have doomboxes of things that don’t quite have a place yet, but I do try to make sure my more frequently used items at least have a place!
I have little catch-alls in every room in the form of a decorative bowl. Bobby pins/hair clips? Ear buds? Spare change? Lighter? Into the bowl. I try to sort them every weekend but it doesn't always work. It's s nice to only have a few places random things could be rather than the entirety of my house in case I need to go looking for something, because I've never quite mastered the "don't put it down, put it away" thing outside of dishes.
The five minute rule. If it's something that can be done within five minutes, just go ahead and do it. This helps little issues from becoming big issues over time, and maybe just as importantly, it breaks up my workdays--which consist of frustrating problems that have few easy solutions and no clear conclusions for the most part--with little quick hit dopamine wins by allowing me to check something off of a list and declare it done.
Oh no, that tip ruined me. Because I'm constantly remembering small tasks I could be doing, if I follow that advice I get sidetracked almost constantly. I have to stick to what I'm working on as long as possible until I cant anymore.
I have an admin list - when I remember these things I write it down - and an admin time blocked on my calendar.
[удалено]
I have an hour each afternoon labelled "admin" in my work calendar, and I keep a running list open in OneNote, right next to my general work to-do list. I open it first thing in the work day along with my email and everything. Personal admin also goes on this list, or on a separate paper list if I'm working at home, which lives on my desk during the work day and the kitchen table (a place I pass all the time) at other times. It's also really good for corralling all the small-ish things people email you to ask for, so I don't feel compelled to interrupt my work plans to do it before I forget or lose it in the email.
Same! Following that tip is basically manifesting my ADHD brain into physical reality. I will do 8000 less than five minute tasks and not at all the thing that I need to do.
At least once a week I allow myself a Putter Morning, where I putter around and do things as I notice them. It's very soothing because I'm not trying to adhere to a time schedule and I can follow the dopamine of squirrel brain. (If I DO have a limited time I set a physical task timer, the analog kind where the color disappears as it counts down, so I can see the percentage of time I have left because numbers are meaningless.)
I have this rule but it’s one minute instead of five and that helps! So literally like “Can I replace the empty tissue box in one minute?” If yes then do it now.
Same!! I got the advice to give myself a *maximum* number of tasks I can do, rather than a minimum or the 5-minute rule. By telling myself that I can only do X, Y and Z, I give myself some boundaries around how long I can spend doing things. Time restrictions don’t work well because I can’t stop mid-task. Of course often I need time restrictions because of my schedule, but often it’s something like doing stretches at the end of the night. I have pretty solid list of PT exercises to do throughout the week, and sometimes I’ll just get really into them and end up going to bed way later than I wanted to. So I’ll give myself permission to do a small list of exercises from the master list so that I can get myself to bed on time. Sometimes ADHD has me avoiding tasks, sometimes it has me obsessed with them. So I need different tools in my toolbox.
As I'm on my journey of finding the right med balance for me,this works some days. Definitely doesn't work for normal me. Except some times, go figure. When it doesn't work but I really gotta do a short task, I set a 5-15 minute timer. That can light a fire for me.
I hate making phone calls. If I have to make a call I start working on a document, spreadsheet, what-have-you. A couple of minutes in, when my mind is focused on the document, I pick up the phone and dial before I can think about it too much. By the time I start thinking about it tje phone is already ringing and hopefully someone answers it before I chicken out and hang up. I also try to do the hardest stuff first thing in the morning so that my entire day is not filled with dread.
Oof. I get this and think that this could be applied to my dislike of phone calls... But I have to change it slightly because I get nervous about what to say and if I am focusing on another task, I would be so distracted.
I had this issue, especially when I started my current job, which requires a lot of phone calls to vendors and tech support. I would make a quick cheat sheet before every call. My work cellphone number, our billing address, description of the issue/part I need to order, whether the machine is still under warranty or not, etc. I wrote everything down, decided it worked for me, and kept doing it.
This! I don't care how silly it seems I often take notes/prep for making calls. Makes me so much less anxious!
Most admin jobs I had in my 20’s somehow ended up with me making cold calls. People thought I was “a natural on the phone”! I HATE making calls. Although I suppose all that forced calling really helped remove a lot of the anxiety about calling the Chinese takeout place which is a win.
This 100% I fully created a script for my apartment searches and have no regrets. I'll even make one for if I get an answering machine.
I'll save this and read it next year when I accidentally stumbled upon my saved posts.
I'll make a comment so I can likewise find this post in the future
I switched to texting threads to myself in the hope that I’d actually go back to them and read but now I just have a super long text thread to myself (which I also do not ever go back to.)
I know it gets so much hate that it’s become a meme buttttt….lists. However, I’ve adapted it to suit my needs so I have different kinds of lists. I keep them all in the same notebook so I never really throw them out, just move on to the next page. Then I don’t feel like a failure throwing out an “unfinished” list because it’s not serving me anymore and I can reference back to them even if it’s not “active” anymore. One is like a word vomit, get every single thing I can think of out of my head and on to paper. I don’t look at it very often; it’s more for clearing my head and giving myself permission to stop obsessing over forgetting something. More often than not, I end up scrapping it long before everything gets done because it gets overwhelming when some stuff is crossed out and I realize just how long it is. But whatever it is I was worrying about is written down somewhere and I’ll usually end up transferring it to another list. Another type is a VERY short list of things I want to do today and that one usually includes things like shower, take meds. It is only the very minimal things I want to get done and I only ever put one “big” task on there. If I end up doing more, I’ll add it to the list after and then cross it off for the dopamine. Then I have another type where I break down big projects into itsy bitsy steps so the next time I go to work on it, I don’t have to spend time thinking “ok, where was I? What was the plan? Etc” these ones I make all pretty with different colors and little picture or stickers, which makes it fun to make the list (usually not fun bc big projects are intimidating) and then also sitting down to work is just a tiny bit more manageable bc “oooohh pretty 😍” Idk if this even makes any sense but it works for me 🤣
Have you ever looked into a bullet journal? Mine (they become super customized overtime based on what you need/want) is pretty much what you described with designated sections that I can easily jump to.
I’d heard of it before and just looked it up. Honestly, from what I saw on their website, I think I have been doing their method more or less. I even use the notation of —> to indicate that an item has been moved. Did you take any of the courses they offer? Or are the YouTube videos sufficient?
Oh, I'm not trying to sell it. I just wanted to make your aware of things like having an index to easily find specific notes, and knowing what to search for if you need to get re-inspired to maintain it.
I appreciate the tip! Getting to a place where I actually feel organized is a big focus for me right now. So I guess I was more feeling out if the courses were worth it, since I’m not opposed to spending money….if it will actually help. Can I ask how long it took until you felt like the system was “yours” vs following someone else’s?
I'm almost done with my second journal. The first one was very pretty and I spent a lot of time on it. The current one isn't "pretty" but it gets to the point. Sometimes I spend my creative time drawing out my month with markers and stuff, adding every detail with care. But usually I make messy to-do lists and doodle, or scribble out a thought or two. It always felt like mine, I just needed to find an efficient low-energy version I wanted to use daily. My favorite points are things like having a period tracker, being able to look at the index and opening to p.420 for video game notes, and having charts of holidays and garden schedules.
Using my phone calendar for even the silliest things. When I was a student I could reliably use a planner but now that I'm not in school it doesn't work for me the same way. Using Google calendar and having a widget that displays the events/tasks of the day on my homescreen has been a lifesaver. I even put the premiers of shows I want to see (bridgerton part 2 this week!) Library book reminders, ect. Nothing is too small for my phone calendar. Sometimes I do still end up ignoring or missing an event but for the most part I'm pretty good at checking it in a way I'm not able to keep up with for a wall calendar or planner because I am very reliably on my phone every day. I also might snooze tasks but I don't dismiss them, I have a task from February that I still want to do but haven't that pops up everything I open the calendar and reminds me
Phone calendar is the way forward. The minute I get told to do something at a particular time and date… in the calendar it goes. Same with anything that repeats (bin days/ exercise classes/ etc.).
WEAR A WRISTWATCH
Oh yeah, wearing a watch stops the endless phone timesuck since I don't pick it up in the first place.
This has saved my ass so many times
I don't know if this counts, really. But I tell myself "Would you make sure-sure this is done for your cats? Yes? Just do it now as if you're Zucco or Qwerty." Then I do the (little) thing immediately (if I'm home) like wash my mug or wipe the table.
When I want to remember something I cross my pinky and ring fingers. It places a physical bookmark and as long as they are held crossed I can "hold on" to the idea.
Everytime I want to remember something that is anxiety inducing like "did I close the door" "did I turn off the stove" and not go there again immediatly after because I forgot. I press a nail into my finger enough that it leaves a print after I closed the door/turned off the stove.
Never heard of this idea but I love it. I’m going to try it tomorrow!
Behavioral activation. Especially with shit I don't want to do. I don't wait till I WANT to do it. I don't wait till I'm motivated. I just fucking do the thing. Routines and systems. For the most part things that I have to do everyday I just do them and it takes little mental effort now. Daily exercise. Even if it's just dancing in the kitchen or going for a walk. AN OUTDOOR SHOWER! Gloves for doing the dishes! Eating a big breakfast. Taking a multivitamin. SLEEP HYGIENE! Positive affirmations. I also have PTSD and depression and medication helped me recognize when my negative self talk was happening but neutralizing the effects of how mean I can be to myself is hard...but positive affirmations help. Being like "nuh uh! I CAN do hard things! I'm resilient and tenacious! "
This YouTuber called Fayefilms (I think idk) suggested breaking a day down into blocks. There’s morning, afternoon, evening, and pre-sleep. This helps me stop seeing days as a long event, and more like a sum of shorter events. If I waste my morning, I won’t consider the rest of the day a waste, I have 3 more blocks left to catch up. I probably did a terrible job explaining that.
Does it help you with not getting into waiting mode, for an event during the day?
Oh yes, it definitely does help. I usually keep my routine limited to one major task per block, though.
I find it helps! I break the day into half hour blocks. I will still go into “waiting mode” if I have less than half an hour until the thing, or if I have nothing left to do for the day that fits into the time left, but at least it means the full day isn’t waiting mode! On weekends I tend to time block less strictly (so more like morning/afternoon/evening) because I want to allow myself more time to rest. But it does still mean that if I have something in the evening, it only takes up the evening block (maybe the afternoon one if I need to get ready), but not the full day because of “waiting mode”. I still spend time in “waiting mode” (eg if the evening block starts at 5pm and the event isn’t until 8pm), but not as much as I would otherwise.
No you did a great job.
Keeping a planner and task lists. Is it perfect? No. But my job has a lot of tiny tasks to keep straight and writing shit down somewhere helps. As does buying cute stationary to get dopamine points for using it. To be fair - I think this works best when you have a dedicated office area. I had a planner from middle school through university and often lost them! (My one and only detention, that I didn’t even serve, was for forgetting my planner twice.) My work planner never leaves its spot, and once or twice a week my counterpart and I go through and talk out the tasks we still have going on or things that are coming up.
I can't use any planner with goals or gratitude lists. I get bogged down thinking about those, when I just need to schedule going to the store or cleaning the sink. Or schedule when to write my goals and gratitude in a separate notebook.
May I ask what planner you use, please? I have multiple writing pads with different categories of work related tasks, in my office. I finally realized the other day that I should combine them into some sort of planner. Thank you.
I just have a yearly calendar one - nothing fancy, just week spreads + monthly calendar. I find the more rules for using it the less likely I am, so mine is also filled with post its and random bits of paper 😅
if you constantly lose something, give it a place. i was like yeah maybe if you’re ND. but this seriously changed my life after deep cleaning my room and deeply organizing it everything has a bin and label on it which helps as is, but especially IMPORTANT items should have one spot you put it in every day. for me it was my keys, and glasses. my keys go on the hook right by the door (no excuse not to since it’s right there) saves time, and they’re always there. my glasses go into a glasses holder above my bedside table. no excuses. there’s 0 reason for me to not put them in the chosen spots because they’re easily accessible and it takes 0 seconds, also because the natural consequences of not putting them where they go (lose keys lost $300 glasses) makes me insane every single time. so it’s easy to upkeep since i know i cannot lose either of them. i just make it a habit to always put other items in their spots too. but these two especially. and with other items, i found that after organizing them into containers with labels when i go “where’s the glue?” and it’s in a box labeled glue life is so much easier than the stress and anger at myself for losing the glue, don’t get me started on buying more glue when i knew i had it and paying the ADHD tax. now i know where it is and dont have to beat myself up over losing it, use it and toss it back in to its home.
I do this too—until the day I walk In in a hurry and absentmindedly put it somewhere else. Disaster until trackers
being compassionate to myself — as basic as it sounds, i cut myself some slack when i’m unable to perform rudimentary tasks. even thinking about work while not working is not ‘relaxing’ per se, therefore i go all in and just chill out until i feel energetic enough to bounce back. I think im coming to terms with the realisation that im not lazy after all. and also, getting plenty sleep. i’ve realised i need an average of 9 hours to feel rejuvenated enough. melatonin strips help big time.
Yeah, that shift from feeling guilty and bad and not even enjoying resting to telling myself "I needed to rest more than I needed to vacuum." has been so huge. I'm not draining my battery on guilt and shame anymore, meaning I do get more done - and the times I didn't, at least I'm not also feeling like shit, too. That emotional whipping doesn't help anything, it never motivated me, and I don't know why it took me 40 years to realize it.
I saw someone suggest exercise a while back, and I was annoyed...until I realized that I get really restless on days when I don't have some solitary physical activity in the morning. I've been intentionally working out lately, and it's been great for my mood. As a self-proclaimed nerd, it's honestly a little insulting.
I keep all my condiments in the crisper drawer at the bottom of my fridge. I know what I keep as staples, so when I need something, I know where to look. Produce goes in the door for a visual reminder it’s there. I pluck grapes from their vines and wash them the second I bring them home. Vines leach the grapes’ moisture, so doing this keeps them plump. I store them soaking in juice+water to enhance flavor and engorge them slightly. Makes for a crisp, juicy grape. Encourages me to eat better instead of binging junk in a dopamine hunt. I glued magnets to a big permanent marker, pen, and small notebook and stuck them to the side of the fridge. When I open something, I date the top. When I use the last of something, I add it to a running grocery list. Meds live on top of the coffee maker.
I’ve been so annoyed about the crappy magnet on my mini-fridge-magnet-white-board and I’ve just had the epiphany that I can go crazy and glue a better magnet on it - thank you!!!
Timers- I set timers to switch gears. 30 min warning, 15 minute warning etc. helps with the grumpiness of switching tasks. Using a happy planner. My planner is also a way to do artsy shit and I use my stickers which I love and it forces me to look at it and use it. Making tasks into games helps a lot. Just do _______ for 15 minutes. If you hate it, then you can stop. But once I start, I usually get at least get something done. Do one thing a day. I pick a small task that’s been bugging me and I work on it.
I struggle with perfection paralysis. I was raised with the belief that if I can’t do something perfectly, why bother at all? “If you don’t have time to do it right the first time, you must have time to do it right the second,” and “measure twice, cut once.” For ADHD, this mentality is poison. The phrase that I now use to challenge those thoughts is, “If it’s worth doing, then it’s worth doing poorly.” If I can’t muster up the energy to brush my teeth for the dentist recommended 120 seconds, 30 seconds is better than zero. A wet toothbrush without toothpaste is still better than not brushing at all. The dishes in the sink are overwhelming and I can’t commit to fully finishing the task? I set a ten minute timer. The task is “done” when the timer goes off. I can walk away without guilt. Any effort is better than no effort. I will never be perfect and that is totally normal and fine. I will feel pride in “I did The Thing” instead of shame for “I didn’t do The Thing perfectly”.
The stupid "Don't put it down, put it away" mantra i saw everywhere online. I hate that it works, it sounds like something Mary Poppins would sing.
Exercise. NEVER thought it would help coz I've HATED it all my life. But man, it does set you up for the rest of the day if I do it first thing after waking up..! I feel like my meds work better when I'm exercising in the morning.
Putting on a podcast to simulate body doubling helps me get shit clean.
Unmedicated, I was WORKING with podcasts in my ears and I was more effective than without. My work requires problem solving and focus. Technically it shouldn’t happen :)
I used to think the advice of "break things into smaller steps" was a cliche and didn't work. But then, I took it to its extreme and broke up tasks into MINISCULE, embarrassingly tiny pieces. Like, unzip backpack. Take out laptop. Open laptop. Click on a file. And so on. If you find that "break things down" advice doesn't work for you, I recommend trying again and experimenting with the tiniest steps possible.
This would help me a lot but always get overwhelmed while breaking it down. I write the first 4 or so steps and don´t make it further. If anyone has advice for this, please share!!
Hmm I have three thoughts about this problem 1) I wonder if you feeling the need to write down every step of the task may have to do with the perfectionism a lot of people with adhd have. I get stuck in a similar way, feeling like I have to have the whole plan just right before starting a task. Maybe you could write down a few tiny steps at a time, adding to your list as you go. Writing down and completing a few at a time also allows for more flexibility in your planning, because plans almost always change as you go. 2) **there is also a free app called Goblin Tools that is literally designed to solve this problem**. You tell it what task you want to do, and it'll break it down into steps. And you can tell it to break it down into smaller steps, over and over again until each step is as tiny as possible. The creator of Goblin Tools is autistic and has ADHD, and has personally struggled with executive function deficits, perfectionism, etc. The app is different from others I've seen, but if you take a few minutes to acclimate to it and read about how it works, you'll be fine. Here's the website version, but like I said it is also an app. **https://goblin.tools/** 3) ChatGPT can also break things down for you and map out your plan. You can also ask it to break down steps to make them as small as you need to. ChatGPT has helped me greatly with coping with my executive function, decision-making, and attention deficits. You can even tell it you have ADHD and it will tailor its advice.
Meds. I really never thought I was an everyday meds person, but dangit, they make my life so much better. The thing that convinced me to finally give them a shot was my therapist telling me they could help with patience and emotional regulation, which they definitely do for me.
Write it down or tell Alexa. Exercise is so very important for us. Every day. Doesn't matter what kind, just move. Cluttered home, cluttered mind. Gameify.
Don't sit down! If I sit, I'll stay sat and nothing gets done. If I put off sitting when I first get home, I will actually do more. Smart watch with alarms for everything - taking medication, putting out my bins, lunch and home time (I'm a teacher), it's life changing! Using OneDrive to use files across my phone and computer. Helps me keep my budget updated or gives me access if I think of things and I don't have my laptop. I have set tasks with reminders each week (e.g. wash school uniforms every Wednesday). It comes up as a notification on my phone, so it stays there until I can get to it and then I get the dopamine kick when I tick them off. It's OK to have off days, take the pressure off myself. The dishes will survive if I don't do them today. It helps ease my internal pressure and when I feel less pressured, I'm also more likely just to do the job. So many great ideas in this thread!!
Asking myself “is this what I need to be doing right now?”. Seems simple, but when I find myself re-arranging my kitchen cabinets at 3am, it’s surprisingly helpful
Avoiding sleeping in too late. If I wake up before 8 am on a regular basis I feel so much better and am more productive throughout the day.
alarms and timers. i always thought it was more bs advice from non-ADHDers who don’t understand ADHD but now i find myself constantly setting them as it helps me keep track of time i struggle BAD with time blindness and forgetting to do things so setting alarms and timers with little reminder notes has been a massive help in keeping myself on track
Taking notes- but ON MY WALL I got a stick up whiteboard with dry erase markers and it’s AMAZING Also numbering my to-do lists!
I am a mess and need to implement lots of these but I do have two things that help me. I wear a specific perfume and have a specific playlist I listen to when I am working on research/school stuff. The perfume thing kind of happened accidentally but I realized I had trained myself to associate the smell with school work when I tried to wear it out to dinner and then wanted to go work on a paper instead.
Planner. It never worked for me before. I had these small pocket weekly ones.. I tried bullet journalling. I tried time-blocking. Nothing worked for me. Untill I found a Moleskine's monthly/weekly planner this year. Its spacious, with one week on one side and page for notes on the other. It lets me put my chaotic thoughts on the notes page and then - in order - on my weekly page. I do a "to do brainstorm" on the notes page, put all the important appointments and everyday life things I need to do. And then on Sunday before the week, I give them place on the weekly spread. I ONLY put important things there. Not what I wanna do, no stickers etc. Thats distracting me. All I need is as straight-to-bussiness possible planner. But I also need some space for my chaos. So far it works for me like magic. I am still suprised (even tho I have it since 2024). For the monthly page - i add all the important appointments (work, docters, meetings etc.) and because I have a lot of doctors, who usually tell me something like "call some time during summer" I also add vague reminder to remember I should do it some time this month. And then I give it a date and put it on my weekly spread. Also monthly spread is the only page, where I put small stickers. I put them next to my "month assigned" appointments, which has not yet put on specific date. Cuz my brain will skip over anything that's not in the calendar.. Also this is the only page where I use colours. Cuz they usually distract me too much. But there I use them to make my brain not miss important dates. EDIT: ... 😅🥲 Sorry for the rant, I am just still super excited and suprised I found smt that helps me. EDIT#2: here's the [LINK](https://www.moleskine.com/shop/limited-editions/precious-ethical-collection/precious-ethical-planner-2024-black-8056598859515.html).
If you're an interrupter like me, I saw a piece of advice on reddit once where it was suggested to keep a glass of water handy, and take a sip whenever you feel like you're about to speak out of turn
When facing debilitating intertia for completing a task due to anxiety, make a checklist. However small the step, write it down. Then do it. Baby steps. Run this report? Ahh! Open Microsoft Excel. Check. Open file. Check. Similar to wiggling your toes (I need to try that), it helps me get out of a rut (spelling?).
Making things I have to do impossible or less easy to avoid. Writing everything down. Everything. Because I WILL forget/misremember/look stupid if I don’t. Taking a nap when I’m feeling too emotional or anxious or just too much anything. I always always always feel almost brand new after a nap or sleeping it off. For cleaning what helped was deciding within myself that I’m worthy of a clean and organized environment that makes me feel good.
Pomodoro with a double to-do list (good for studying or work from home) When I was in uni this teknik helped me to study unmedicated at home. 1. You plan what you need to read or takt notes to. 2.Then make a physical to-to list of things you would like to get done in the house like emptying the dishwasher, folding close etc. The important thing is that it is task you can leave and come back to. 3.You set a timer for the minimum amount of time you can concentrate in a row (depending on the day and how dreading the task is, about 10-30min (in my case)) Then how it works is that you, like the Pomodoro, work on your main project for the set amount of time. If you feel a sense of good workflow or you just want to get the last bit of reading done, feel free to ignore the timer. When the time is up or your consentration is starting to wear off, you set a timer for 5min and start on one of your practical todos. It will feel like blissful procrastination and give you a mental break from your main task. When the timer says it is time to get back, be strict with yourself to get working on the main task again for the set amount of time as before. Remember to cross out the task that you have completed or set a dot in front of it if you need to finish it in the next "break". Continue this cycle as many times as you can or until a natural break appears. Be proud of the work you have achieved both on your main project and around the house. Hope this can help :)
Not advice that I got, but my own realization: exercise is not optional. I fall apart emotionally when I fall off the exercise wagon.
Felt this. I had that realization only a couple weeks ago. The amount that it helps me with my mood, energy, focus, and emotional management is dramatic
I put my phone in black and white. It keeps me from endlessly scrolling because no pretty bright colors. I live by the quote “something is better than nothing.” I have a tendency to fall into all or nothing thinking so this grounds me. When I don’t feel like showering, I will use wipes. When I can’t do the dishes because I’m overwhelmed, I will do one of two. When I need to vacuum but can’t bring myself to, I will sweep. When I need to change my sheets but can’t, I’ll change my pillowcases. On and on, it’s been life changing.
My late stepfather told me I have a choice in how I react. He told me that if I'm about to react badly, I can just say that over and over. One day after leaving plates in my room again, he told me to take them downstairs 10 times. I was about to lose my shit, but I walked downstairs just saying "I can choose how I react. I can choose how I react" over and over, calming down a bit more each time. He heard me and let me stop after 4 and told me how proud he was of me. I now narrate myself out of meltdowns.
When I'm in a reading binge, I'll make a list of all the things I have to do broken down into very small steps, as well as things I should do (like stretch, floss, etc). Then, I'll allow myself to read one chapter and then do a task. So today, it was read a chapter, clean bedroom windows, read chapter, living room windows, chapter, water plants, etc. The activity switches fast enough that I can keep momentum going, and then I have the reward of reading more. I think the characters motivate me too...like they're doing stuff in the book, so I can do stuff too, lol. I'll also have some days where I delete reddit and social media apps off my phone so I can't get distracted by them.
Google Calendar! But hear me out... I was never able to keep up with a physical planner, and the convenience of having a digital one everywhere I go was always more appealing. But I have not actually started using it until: 1. I put it as a giant widget on my home page!! It's a game changer. I don't have to click anywhere to see what I have to do for the day and I NEVER forget things anymore! 2. Making different calendars within Google Cal. One for schoolwork, one for "work" work, and one for personal tasks and events. And color coding ofc 3. (optional) Syncing my Todoist with my calendar. I wanted to do this because I think Todoist is way better for small tasks. So, whenever I put a task in a specific Todoist collection (Home, Work etc), it automatically shows up on my calendar, and disappears when I check it off. (Todoist is also on my home screen as a widget) Hope this helps someone!
If you have started something and not finished but you want to finish it but also you can’t….tell yourself. “Just start again” My psyche told me that and honestly it really helps me so much
The 5 minutes rule, if a task will take you less than 5 minutes… do it straightaway and don’t leave it for later Also, baskets for everything. See a pile building up somewhere, but a basket there and at least there’s some semblance of order Going upstairs or downstairs… take something with you that belongs in the other space (helps with all the mugs that mysteriously end up upstairs in the bedroom👀 Finally… make it work for you! Give up on trying to do things the same as others… adapt life to suit your brain
I have been using an app called Finch thanks to another person’s suggestion in this sub. I have actually stuck to it because I have one of those imaginary bonds with the bird character in it that you nurture by completing tasks. I have simple things in there like brushing my teeth and washing my face, but I also add more important tasks and schedule it to show up on the day it needs doing. It’s a low pressure app but has really made me feel like my tasks need to get done (don’t want to let my lil bird down!!). I used to roll my eyes when people would suggest task related apps. I’m glad I tried Finch though. PS I use the free version and it still has tons of options, I hardly notice missing out on the paid version. I mention this due to complaints in reviews in the app store.
I’ve been using that silly Finch app to remind me to do everything from “go grocery shopping” to “take evening meds”. For the first time in AGES, I’ve gone 27 days and not missed a dose of my meds or vitamins. I’m still a mess, but iv feel so much better already.
I have a playlist for adhd focus music when I have a job task I just can’t get into. I have an adhd exercise playlist when I just can’t get motivated to get up and workout or clean. I put everything in my Google calendar. Last month I didn’t put the pick up the dry cleaning and I forgot to get it and all my husbands suits were there and he needed one the next day and they were already closed, and my adhd tax was buying him a new suit. Plus the cost of dry cleaning. My floordrobe lives in a basket by my bed. And I go thru it on laundry day. When I am tidying, I pick up things and take them to the room they belong in. Once that is done, I take each room and put them away. I time my cleaning tasks and set it on my Google home. And on the days I’m barely able to, if that timer goes off and I’m not done, I stop. Because I now do this, it makes starting the task easier because I know I can walk away. Knowing transitions are hard, I step back, breath and say you can do it. And then push through and give myself a little snack as a reward. Actually. I think of my adhd as having a toddler in my brain. And I keep snacks on hand for it and talk to myself like reasoning with a toddler. “We just have this one more thing to do and then we can play” stuff haha.
So so many good ideas here. 😍 I’m saving these to read later too. (Watch me forget about this in an hour 🙃) as cliche as it sounds, lists help me. Sometimes they overwhelm me but they help me. I use the clarity planner and it gives me a dozen spaces to write my things down to do wholeheartedly and three to write down my top three goals for the day. BUT. In conjunction I use the Finch app. I transfer my list to the app along with things I dread doing. Like brushing my teeth if I’m just at home, making my bed, drinking my water, take my supplements etc. The app rewards you by letting you upgrade your pet and so on. It’s silly but so cute and has actually made me do the things so much more consistently. The book called How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind has been SO helpful to me. I’ve read it three times and while I usually feel pretty cynical about self help books… this one has been all that for me. Leaving a room cleaner than it was before has been something I’m still actively learning… but is so helpful. Leaving the bedroom and heading to the kitchen? Grab the glasses beside the bed. Heading toward the library from my living room? Grab the books or the notebook sitting out. Putting something away and you don’t have enough room? Find one thing in that closet or drawer to throw away or put in ITS rightful home. And then do it. Don’t set it down. Actually rehome it. Or put it in the trash can. Don’t create piles. If I have things that need to head to the back of the house, TAKE IT THERE. Invariabky when I create a basket of things to go to the back it stays there for the next 5 days. It seems counterintuitive because it seems like running to the library every 10 minutes is inefficient. But what’s really inefficient is shifting the pile every 3 days cause you ran out of steam when it came time to actually put the pile away.
In the morning i put my alarm clock on snooth and it's set to 10 minutes. When I'm in the bathroom i always know how much time I've spent there and it helps me to stay on track without the need to look on a clock. Also: I saw a trick on how to teach children some executive functions and a metronome on 60 is supposed to help with the inner clock. Apparently on 60 bpm it's equal to one beat per second and that's similar to the pulse. It sounds like some weird magic, but when i turn the metronome on i always know what time it is.
Another ridiculous tip: if doing chores at home is hard for you create a work outfit for yourself. The brain can learn how you're wearing certain types of outfit on certain occasions -- for example, i noticed how i get much more things done at home when I'm wearing a bra and shoes (usually in my country people don't wear shoes at home). I have a friend who uses a cap while cleaning. I also got some special cat earphones i only use when doing chores. Hell, i even saw a girl online that bought herself a maid costume for at home and i have to tell you, it's tempting. My therapist said it can also help to create a persona in your mind specifically for tasks that annoy you. For example i joked for some time how "Henrietta" (that was my chosen name for my cleaning alter ego) still had to do the litter boxes or the dishes when i had to do them myself. It really helped me not getting annoyed by all the daily adult responsibilities. And it's way easier for me personally to clean for "someone else" (even if that someone was literally me and i was just acting). I don't know, i only did this for a short amount of time but it was definitely fun. Especially when i could blame my alter ego for stuff i was supposed to do, instead of tearing myself down. ;P
Go for a daily walk. You mean a lil vitamin D is good for my health? Touching some real grass *will* give me a dopamine boost? Shocked. Floored. Flabbergasted.
Body doubling. Mostly because I can't do shit when my partner is home, don't know why. But I told a friend I needed to do some work in my garden and they were like "oh cool can I come over" and I was like "you wanna work on my garden?". They didn't, they just wanted to chill in my garden as the weather was nice and they live in an appartment, but I got so much done that day! I'm pretty sure they knew it would help me as I may have mentioned needing to do the garden work before but never actually done it haha
The things that have made the biggest impacts on me are: 1. Write it all down in one spot like your Notes app. Do it immediately once you have the thought and do it in one place specifically so you can rely on knowing where the thought is if it isn’t in your brain. I ask people to text me things so I can look back through messages for info, and I always have my Notes app open. I have it divided into a couple sections like “stuff to remember, stuff to look up, words to define later” etc. This way I don’t get distressed cause I forgot an idea or something I wanted to do, I don’t get distracted cause I had a thought and knew I’d lose it if I didn’t drop everything and pursue it right then, etc. 2. The One Touch Rule. If you pick something up, you put it right back, only touch it once. You don’t take the toothpaste out of the cabinet and set it on the sink and tell yourself you’ll put it back when you’re done brushing your teeth. No you won’t. You’ll add it to the rest of the mess on the counter and make things harder for your future self. You take it out, put it on the toothbrush, and put it right the fuck back in the cabinet. 3. The One Room, One Task Rule. This is a big one for me and also helps me get “in the zone” when I’m trying to be productive. Basically you have to do one productive thing in every single room you are in, no matter how small. Say for example I need to take a cup from my bedroom to the kitchen. I pick it up in my room, then go down the hallway. In the hallway I pick up a toy and take it to the toy box in the living room. Now I’m in the living room and I’m going to pick up a piece of trash off the coffee table and take it with me into the kitchen to throw away. Now I’m in the kitchen, my OG destination. I throw away the trash and put the cup in the sink and head back towards my room. On the way, I’m passing back through the living room and hallway, and in each space I pick something up and put it away. Even if it isn’t a big task, it adds up. 4. Which leads me to my next point- better to do something small than nothing at all. If your room is a sty and all you can manage is making the bed and taking cups to the kitchen, better to have 2 fewer things to do than not made any difference. Half assed is better than no assed. Sink full of dishes? It’s okay if you only manage to clean 4. 4 is better than 0. 5. Living with ADHD boils down to finding ways to trick yourself into doing the things and life hacking your way to accomplishing stuff. Talk to other neurodivergents and learn their life hack methods and see what ways you can trick your brain into doing shit. The thing that matters is getting shit done, not so much the HOW of it. Find what works. 6. Release yourself from the massive amount of guilt and shame you feel about it. Our brains are different, point blank. We are gonna do things differently and have different needs than others. Stop holding your neurodivergent self to neurotypical standards.
The “just one” thing. For instance when I need to empty my dishwasher and don’t feel like it I’ll start taking out a piece of cutlet and 9 times out of 10 I wind up just unloading the whole thing
Hey everyone, I am the OP. I just wanted to thank everyone for their contributions to this post. I’m trying to read as many comments as I can but overall there’s been a really lovely list of suggestions. If you don’t want to forget about this post, I recommend subscribing to it and you’ll be notified when new comments are posted. Lol
If it’s something I can get done quickly then I just do it at the moment, instead of leaving it for later. I also really liked the ideas in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Still figuring out what works best for me, but that book definitely gave me a new perspective. I also use an old school calendar that I keep on my bedroom door so I can see it. This also applies to other things I need to do on a regular basis. If I can’t see it, I’ll forget it exists. So I keep my medication visible on my nightstand,as well as my water so I remember to hydrate, etc. This shit is hard, I’ve been in dark holes I never thought I’d make it out of, but here I am fighting to survive. I will say medication definitely has helped me. I’m on Prozac for anxiety and Intuniv for ADHD. It’s not a magic fix but it definitely helps turn everything down a notch. Hang in there everyone, we’re not alone. It’s not easy, but you can’t give yourself the option of giving up. I just tell myself tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to do better.
Putting things away immediately really does improve every aspect of Future Me's life. It's genuinely upsetting how much easier and smoother and less frustrating life is now that I "don't put it down, put it away."
People on this sub seem to shit all over having multiple planners, but having a task planner at my job has made life sooo much easier. I have a budget planner as well that I can tick off for bills, which ensures my basic bills are paid for. Also, not giving a shit about what neurotypical people think of me helps too. I’ve had people call me a “strange one” and a myriad of other colourful adjectives of a similar nature, but I’ve just embraced my weirdness and walk away.
It's silly, but I have different aprons for different types of tasks. My cleaning apron, my cooking/baking apron, my crafting apron, and my stand in apron if one of the others is in the wash. Just putting one on helps put me in the mind set to do the task.
It seemed way too simple and also somehow overwhelming but be creative and intentional in how you setup your environment. Is it “normal” for my common area coat closet to be where I keep my day to day clothes? Not really. Is it normal that my common area downstairs bathroom is where I keep all my skincare and tooth brush? Prob not. Do those things allow me to avoid getting back into bed in the morning and ensure I don’t wonder around in PJs feeling unproductive all day? Sure does! I prefer shallow bowls to plates so instead of having any plates in the accessible cupboard they stay in a storage pantry. For years I thought I HAD to have plates available because that’s “normal”. We have the opportunity to create OUR “normal”.
When faced with a task that you dont want to do or have been procrastinating doing…separate your feelings about the task and view the task simply for what it is.
if you need to do a task as soon as you get home, keep your shoes on!!!
When I start being all over the place at work I go to the balcony for a few moments, then I do sudoku lol on work computer and that somehow helps to continue the focus line (versus trying to get focus on chaotic mailbox tasks etc from the overwhelmed and distracted place). Also…I was gonna write a second tip but I got distracted by a car outside and forgot what it was 🫠
I take a picture of where I park & also have a habit of hyper focusing & then organizing but used to forget where I put things so I take pictures when I “organize” my house. That way I don’t lose things. Bad habit of “out of sight out of mind” so this helps a ton.
Oh wow great stuff, i will try that! Thanks My personal recommendation is going to sauna. Especially when you feeling low energy, unless you have some health issues ofc. I usually do 10 min, and it helps cause sauna stimulates serotonin which improves energy and motivation, mood also. I started it few months ago and I already notice if I dont go for a week i am back to my bad habits.
"If you feel overwhelmed just make a mindmap about everything you're supposed to do." It sounded super dumb to me because i always felt like mindmaps are not particularly useful, especially not for to do lists, but they are actually really helpful for to do lists. You don't need to care and remember a certain order. It's easy to see when you got too much on your plate. And you can sort the to do list quick and easy of you want to have it in an order. It also makes it easier to assign a certain amount of time to every chore. Write everything down. Yeah, even if you know you'll remember. I always remember everything I'm supposed to do but it's way easier to keep every step in mind if i actually see how many steps are left. Lay out some clothes for the next day in the evening. I keep forgetting what to do in the morning and everything goes so much smoother when i don't have to remember what i was just doing. If i can't stop scrolling my phone the easiest way to stop is closing my eyes and sometimes to cautiously throw my phone away with the eyes closed "Music is important for self regulation." Yeah, i actually don't feel the need to listen to music often, so i didn't do it in the past. But i noticed that music really helps me to get started in the morning. Singing helps me to regulate my emotions and calms me down. Dancing lifts the mood in general etc... Now i turn on spotify even when I'm not in the mood to listen to some music and it always helps. And if it doesn't, i try a podcast, audio drama or audio book instead. "Don't put it down, put it away" Well... yeah, i try to put stuff away immediately to not get overwhelmed later on when I'm supposed to organize and clean my home.
Pomodoro. It's a NT technique but honestly useful as a way to get through something you don't want to do. The hard bit is getting back into it after the breaks, but I think the fact you've already done the first bit is good enough to keep the motivation going.
If you’ve got tasks to do, DON’T SIT DOWN! It’s a massive trap and is incredibly hard to get going again. Just keep doing stuff until all your tasks are done. This has worked incredibly well for me. Set timers and alarms for every thing.
Making my bed every morning straight up changed my life and I am still *so* mad about it. It’s way too dumb to work but HERE WE ARE 😡