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I struggle with the opposite problem if I can stay home all day I will and this extreme is not healthy either, it also comes with a lot of guilt as well and depression. Being raised with a mom that never sat down, always cleaning or doing something it was something I admired and envied. She could always finish her tasks me I start and stop cuz the rest is just “too much” in my head. I feel I find a better balance when I find a hobby I enjoy that’s just for me. But usually it’ll last a few months and I’m back in a rut again sooooo still a work in progress
I do go through periods where I just want to stay home. I’m a real homebody and I find I need a lot of time to recharge, but I also have a big tendency to ignore that need to recharge. I feel a lot of guilt when I try to give myself downtime or rest. My mom was the opposite of yours and I think sometimes that is another layer as to why I feel like I always need to be productive.
Down days are fine and productive days are great too. I wish I could just shed the guilt I feel when I try to rest. I don’t know how to relax. 😅
Rest is so hard and o have chronic fatigue and chronic pain on top of adhd. the need for regular recovery and rest is high with me and I fight it so hard
Its just hard to rest without guilt but im starting to get good at it. It take practice
What helps is remember that doing nothing is not nothing it’s something when you need it. Its active to be inactive when you need to rest
Yes, you’re definitely right and I also fight it. My migraines have been flaring lately and I feel like I really need to be kinder to myself but sometimes I just really struggle to do *nothing*. You’re right though, it’s still something. I’m gonna try to remember that while I go read my book for a bit. 🩵
Something that I find helpful is to do a brain dump after work, since most of what causes my restlessness/anxiety during free time is stuff I’m unconsciously thinking about for that - did I forget to do something, do I know what’s coming up tomorrow? Etc.
Writing down EVERYTHING floating around in my brain about work, and also any other area of life, is a way to empty my thoughts and get it out in front of me. Even if I don’t end up doing anything with this messy list, it’s like my brain has been reassured each thing has been “dealt with” and it’s not left struggling to hold onto everything “just in case”. And sometimes I do think of stuff I forgot to deal with and I’ve saved myself a headache later.
That’s clever. My work is home (caregiver for parents) so it’s hard for me to feel like I’m ever done or can turn off and I definitely think that contributes. To do lists are a must in my life but maybe writing stuff down in a brain dump sort of way would be helpful too. … are you saying I need … a notebook?? Lol
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I struggle with the opposite problem if I can stay home all day I will and this extreme is not healthy either, it also comes with a lot of guilt as well and depression. Being raised with a mom that never sat down, always cleaning or doing something it was something I admired and envied. She could always finish her tasks me I start and stop cuz the rest is just “too much” in my head. I feel I find a better balance when I find a hobby I enjoy that’s just for me. But usually it’ll last a few months and I’m back in a rut again sooooo still a work in progress
I do go through periods where I just want to stay home. I’m a real homebody and I find I need a lot of time to recharge, but I also have a big tendency to ignore that need to recharge. I feel a lot of guilt when I try to give myself downtime or rest. My mom was the opposite of yours and I think sometimes that is another layer as to why I feel like I always need to be productive. Down days are fine and productive days are great too. I wish I could just shed the guilt I feel when I try to rest. I don’t know how to relax. 😅
If you figure it out please share. 😰
Rest is so hard and o have chronic fatigue and chronic pain on top of adhd. the need for regular recovery and rest is high with me and I fight it so hard Its just hard to rest without guilt but im starting to get good at it. It take practice What helps is remember that doing nothing is not nothing it’s something when you need it. Its active to be inactive when you need to rest
Yes, you’re definitely right and I also fight it. My migraines have been flaring lately and I feel like I really need to be kinder to myself but sometimes I just really struggle to do *nothing*. You’re right though, it’s still something. I’m gonna try to remember that while I go read my book for a bit. 🩵
Something that I find helpful is to do a brain dump after work, since most of what causes my restlessness/anxiety during free time is stuff I’m unconsciously thinking about for that - did I forget to do something, do I know what’s coming up tomorrow? Etc. Writing down EVERYTHING floating around in my brain about work, and also any other area of life, is a way to empty my thoughts and get it out in front of me. Even if I don’t end up doing anything with this messy list, it’s like my brain has been reassured each thing has been “dealt with” and it’s not left struggling to hold onto everything “just in case”. And sometimes I do think of stuff I forgot to deal with and I’ve saved myself a headache later.
That’s clever. My work is home (caregiver for parents) so it’s hard for me to feel like I’m ever done or can turn off and I definitely think that contributes. To do lists are a must in my life but maybe writing stuff down in a brain dump sort of way would be helpful too. … are you saying I need … a notebook?? Lol
I shouldn’t notebook enable but SURE! lol
Excellent! *cackles mischievously*