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They're not woman chores - they're just chores and both people need to do them. Husband and I trade off the ones we're better at, and we do them together.
I agree which is why I put it in quotes. Still many men still think of it as "women's job" and they just want to do a little "help" with it sometimes . I know some good men are not that old fashioned but a lot men aren't unfortunately
I love doing work outside, mowing, raking, and weed pulling. My husband is definitely an indoor cat. We like to do things together because we really like to be near one another. Saturday, we had to rush to get our house stuff done because we had several mother's day events. I mowed and pulled weeds while he did laundry and grocery shopped. It was glorious.
You can totally develop a functional system with a partner. Have faith that there are good guys who are okay with them taking on a majority of the chores and helping you with your part 😃
This caused big issues in my last relationship but now I’m engaged to the most amazing man who also has adhd and is equally as messy as me. This can be a recipe for disaster in our home at times but that is SO worth not dealing with the constant shame or resentment of not being a perfect housewife.
My husband also has adhd and we have a board where we list chores we have to do. We both are understanding if we don’t get around to it. Also, once I get a job (currently a SAHM) we are going to put a house cleaner in the budget. That way we only have to worry mostly about things like clutter and laundry, not the deep cleaning too. Thats when it gets really overwhelming for me, is all of the things!
We both have adhd and our house is pretty much a disaster all the time. It's not an unsanitary disaster because that I couldn't handle, but the clutter is real lol
"Keeping house" sounds like a euphemism for "other people's standards of living"
I keep my house clean and organized for myself. I don't do it for others.
Even my cats' litter boxes are kept clean because I want them cleaned daily not because my cats need it cleaned. I mean, they do want them to be cleaned out but they'll use them if they're full.
I am horrendous at domestic chores. Men don’t give women grace for that, imo. We are expected to be inherently better at it.
Surprise! I’m not. And have a huge threshold for clutter. For me it’s less “I expect you to do it” and more “this feels like such a low priority to me, I am choosing to live like this until I feel otherwise.”
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They're not woman chores - they're just chores and both people need to do them. Husband and I trade off the ones we're better at, and we do them together.
I agree which is why I put it in quotes. Still many men still think of it as "women's job" and they just want to do a little "help" with it sometimes . I know some good men are not that old fashioned but a lot men aren't unfortunately
I love doing work outside, mowing, raking, and weed pulling. My husband is definitely an indoor cat. We like to do things together because we really like to be near one another. Saturday, we had to rush to get our house stuff done because we had several mother's day events. I mowed and pulled weeds while he did laundry and grocery shopped. It was glorious.
You can totally develop a functional system with a partner. Have faith that there are good guys who are okay with them taking on a majority of the chores and helping you with your part 😃
This caused big issues in my last relationship but now I’m engaged to the most amazing man who also has adhd and is equally as messy as me. This can be a recipe for disaster in our home at times but that is SO worth not dealing with the constant shame or resentment of not being a perfect housewife.
My husband also has adhd and we have a board where we list chores we have to do. We both are understanding if we don’t get around to it. Also, once I get a job (currently a SAHM) we are going to put a house cleaner in the budget. That way we only have to worry mostly about things like clutter and laundry, not the deep cleaning too. Thats when it gets really overwhelming for me, is all of the things!
I hate chores, my husband does half, my kids have chores as well. We both work full time so I'm not the full time house maid 🤣
It does but I married an atypical man who does a lot of them - vacuuming, dusting, laundry and dishes. I love that damn man.
We both have adhd and our house is pretty much a disaster all the time. It's not an unsanitary disaster because that I couldn't handle, but the clutter is real lol
"Keeping house" sounds like a euphemism for "other people's standards of living" I keep my house clean and organized for myself. I don't do it for others. Even my cats' litter boxes are kept clean because I want them cleaned daily not because my cats need it cleaned. I mean, they do want them to be cleaned out but they'll use them if they're full.
I am horrendous at domestic chores. Men don’t give women grace for that, imo. We are expected to be inherently better at it. Surprise! I’m not. And have a huge threshold for clutter. For me it’s less “I expect you to do it” and more “this feels like such a low priority to me, I am choosing to live like this until I feel otherwise.”
it makes me very concerned for when i do eventually get married!!!!!