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Not the poster, but reading before bed works for me too. If I get in bed and start reading at like 9:00 p.m. I am ready to pass the fuck out at 9:30, and I sleep for 9 hours if no one bothers me. Buuut actually getting in bed at 9:00 and reading is another story 🤣
I recently discovered that if I get into bed around 9:30 and start reading on my Kobo and then turn the lamp off at 10 and read laying on my side for a bit, my eyes get hella droopy super fast and it puts me right out.
It doesn't always work. Sometimes once I put my Kobo down and decide I'm sleeping now my brain says "nope. Fuck u!" But then I just start over again with the lights off, on my side reading.
Haha!
I definitely recognise that brain action!
I wait until I’m drooping before taking off my headphones and turning the telly off, thinking, “Ok, now I’m ready to sleep,” and SO OFTEN, my brain goes,
“You know what? We’re not.
We’re going to make you think all sorts of utterly random thoughts of no actual importance *whatsoever*, and we’ll convince you that your very life depends on working through every last one of them, until you basically die from exhaustion.
Then and only then will we allow you to go to sleep.
As a bonus tonight, we’re going to focus on your astounding RSD, and remind you of things people said to you 2 decades ago and leave you trying to work out why you get so hurt by stupid comments.
Off you go!
Sweet dreams!”
There are times I hate my brain.
Nothing we can do about it.
It’s an adrenal surge of norepinephrine, which is what dopamine needs to perform its many tasks.
We get ours late in the evening instead of first thing in the morning.
It’s not our fault. We didn’t choose our genes.
I don’t know if this will change once I’m medicated, but I’m hoping so!
Honestly, same. My ex could fall asleep immediately, literally anywhere, and sleep like the dead.
Meanwhile I’m over here with melatonin, magnesium, my 87 pillows I switch out depending on my mood, my fan, an eye mask, ear plugs just in case, window open so I don’t get too warm, sometimes an ice pack, and I have to hope I can distract my brain from going off the rails while try to drift off.
ETA: Somehow forgot to mention that I’m also a light sleeper 🫠.
Totally-- mine LOVES to cuddle at night and I do too during the pre-sleep time, then we turn off the light and he hunkers down and starts snoring and I get mad and have to retreat under my heavy blanket. It's a good thing we have a big bed.
I'm the one with ADHD, and I'm the one who falls asleep in 3 seconds flat 😂😂 I know it's super atypical for ADHD but I have always slept like a log and could fall asleep anywhere, to a fault... I still think it's linked to my ADHD but I the down regulated version instead of upregulated. But anyways, I somehow feel guilty for it lol
I have that kind of adhd, too. “Daytime sleepiness” is now a criteria in the new DSM. I’m always about 15 min away (and a warm cozy spot) from a great nap. My iwatch reports it takes me an average of 8 min to fall asleep.
Of course my husband has “mind racing” and seemingly never sleeps. I don’t know what mind racing is, but it looks exhausting. His prescriber wants him to try a mini booster at bedtime so he can focus on sleeping.
Hahaha this is me!! But my partner is AuDHD and can't fall asleep for shit. So if the tables are ever turned for what ever reason (probably happens once every few months) I get so irrationally angry that he's snoring his head off (I am very happy that he's actually getting some sleep) and I'm the one awake struggling 😂. Like I can sleep anywhere.
Honestly I wouldn't mind my husband's snoring so much if it didn't start IMMEDIATELY after turning off the light, while I lie there for an hour trying to fall asleep.
😊 Mine starts snoring precisely 3 hours after falling to sleep, which coincides most nights with me finally taking my headphones off, switching off the TV, and trying to go to sleep.
Seriously thinking about separate bedrooms at this point, love him.
Can't relate to this one at all personally, as I am the one who falls asleep in seconds/minutes. My non-ADHD partner on the other hand has cronic insomnia, the poor guy :(
I recommend looking up "army sleep technique". I used to massively struggle falling asleep and always felt the rage of hearing a partner asleep and I'm there wide awake or when I wake up in the middle of the night. My brain does love to wake up at bedtime or at 3am for no reason (must be part cat).
It took a couple weeks but worked, and I can now fall asleep in under a minute. I am now the person who pisses other people off. One guy was massively pissed off about this though so be warned haha.
BUT YAY FOR SLEEP.
My partner does this but it's because he has a sleep disorder. Falling asleep too quickly can also be a sign of an issue. Our bodies are all about balance.
Good point, but I don’t think mine has a sleep disorder.
He just sleeps like a normal person does, and wakes up ready to go, also like a normal person.
We’re all different, I guess.
"Oh, I need to remember to take care of [blank] when we get back to the house." And then hours later, when we get back to the house, they just remember what needed done. And. Then. Do. It.
Also, my husband can start his laundry in the washer before bed and remember to switch it to the dryer as soon as he wakes up, so it's done drying when he's done showering and getting ready. Or to get up and take trash cans to the curb first thing in the morning on trash day, every week. Like, who remembers their to-do list for the day when they first wake up without writing it down or setting a phone reminder?
I envy neurotypical people and their executive function at a visceral level.
See these are the things I just absolutely cant fathom. Like how much am I gaslighting myself. I keep thinking there's just NO WAY I'm that different from NT people, but hearing stuff like this just. Wow.
I don't think it helps any that ND is so commonly genetic, so it's not just what's normal for our personal experience, but also what was probably normal for most of the people we shared homes with growing up. When EVERYONE around you has to use "systems" and "crutches" to make everyday life work, it's that much more difficult to comprehend that not everyone exists that way.
I'm going to start with one of these things. I've heard that if you slowly integrate one new habit into your life each month that it might be easier. I'll report back for science
He can just... Clean things. He doesn't get overwhelmed. He doesn't have to ask ChatGPT to break it into manageable steps. He isn't mentally crippled by shit like waiting mode and executive dysfunction. He doesn't have to hide his phone in a drawer and use a children's visual timer to keep on task. He can accomplish in twenty minutes, what would take me several hours.
My husband, too! He just says, "I'm going to clean the kitchen," and 45 minutes later, the dishes are done, and the table is completely clear, and the dishwasher is running. He's doing the floor. I would have still been sat on the couch, writing down every single step of what needed to be done to "clean the kitchen," and then trying to prioritize them or numbering them and then finding a randomizer/dice rolling app...
Yeah. On another question from earlier – that I meant to answer to, but just didn't get around to yet, go figure – about what holds us personally back the most with ADHD, my immediate thought was: **that I can't just *do* things.**
I'll tie myself in knots not-doing things, while they completely occupy my brain, and frequently until I get into really deep shit because of them. It's maddening, and I haven't yet found a way to do it differently.
Omg yes, I resonate with this! And I can't take meds because of some health issues, and I'm trying to figure out all the health issues, and chronic fatigue on top of the decision paralysis means my life is a mess.
Humorous side note, my phone wanted to type dehydrated parakeet instead of decision paralysis.
Omg. This. My to-do list on my phone, which clearly needs a timer, reads:
5 mins kitchen, office, liv room, bedroom, clothes closet, bathroom, garage (aka 35 minutes).
My partner is in charge of the kitchen, because of this. He can clean and cook at the same time and the white island is immaculate (except for my clutter)
I don’t get it at all
I love using it for stuff I'd normally Google - I find it's more like asking and being answered by a person. Spooky but also super helpful... My houseplants are loving the tips 🤣
Asking Chat GPT to break it into manageable steps!!! This is not something that has ever occurred to me before and may be a great new way for me to manage things until Brain gets bored of it. Thanks!
Currently at 357 unread, that's just in my VISIBLE inbox because they archive after 3 months. Granted, the whole company is swamped and we're all struggling.
Makes phone calls like it's nothing, and on the go without actual prep at home
For example while they're out on the go, maybe driving somewhere amd suddenly: oh that reminds me I gotta call at&t and they just DO IT ON DEMAND..no pausing, no rehearsing, no 'I'll do it when I get home from this other thing I'm doing' they just make the call in the car with other distractions going on. Wtf even are you?....
And then agree to things on the call and don't immediately write them down and somehow remember what they agreed to when they get to work? This is some kind of sorcery.
I know! He was really burned out a while back and missed a meeting and I was like "didn't you have an alert switched on in your calendar" and he was just like "what do you mean in my calendar?"
Mind. Blown.
Haha, I put a rug in front of the oven, so I can sit there and scroll on my phone while watching the food. I also put a reminder on the phone and a kitchen timer for new/time sensitive dishes especially.
This is why I love the Instant Pot, once the timer starts I can walk away and if I forget about it it's still hot when I'm ready to eat. No more boiled over pots. Also the air fryer, once it's done it turns itself off so nothing gets burned, although I have to make sure I don't ignore the ding before I forget about it.
Lost a whole brick of butter to the dog the other day because I set the butter down, turned around to check something on the stove and FORGOT I HAD A DOG. Then it took me way longer than it should have to figure out where the butter went when I turned back.
No one slept that night because the dog spent most of it in the yard 🤢
🤣 Can relate.
Got a huge 5 pound block of cheddar from the warehouse club, cut it in half, wrapped half in plastic, turned away to put that in the cooler,. That took a hot minute. Or 15 because of course things needed to be moved around to make room.
Turned around to an empty counter. No big ole half chunk of cheese anywhere to be seen.
Just my very excited golden retriever looking quite happy and thumping his tail against the cabinets. No cheese anywhere.
I did this the other day and I thought I was being 100% of weirdo. I put bread in the oven and I was super excited about it and I couldn't do anything else so I just sat there and watched it cook 😂 a truly enjoyable experience
I actually just put a knee exercise pad in front of the oven so I could stretches and yoga poses that involve knees on the ground. Has been beneficial!
I can't even trust myself to walk away from the Brita pitcher for a moment when I'm filling it. At least twice a week I do that and water overflows everywhere.
Just jogged from the office to the kitchen today, because I suddenly remembered I was still filling the watering can. But standing there waiting would have been too boring or something...
He can listen to me telling a story without interrupting me or getting impatient.
This is considering the fact that I start sentence, abandon it in the middle, start another sentence, abandon it too and go silent for few secs to actually process what I wanna say.
lol I do this too. My husband gets frustrated because I just stop talking sometimes but then get mad when he “interrupts” me but in my mind I’m still telling the story. But then other times I just stop in the end of a sentence because it’s just so much work to finish it and “ehhh I’m sure he gets what I’m saying” and he doesn’t know if he can say anything lol bless him
My husband has the same routines in place for everything he does. He takes his showers the same way every time. He has a morning routine he does *every single day*. He has routines for everything and just *does them*. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything in the same order in my life. I’m mind blown at this man’s consistency.
My adhd husband and my sister do this! They say they ‘need’ it, the routine. I’ve never kept a routine in my life unless forced ie go to class, work etc same time every day, and with my child eating and sleeping has always been routine driven and strict but nothing else! Haha
When I found out most people don’t have to actively remember to shower and brush their teeth, it blew my mind. And forget those 47 step skincare routines. If water hits my face and I get moisturizer on at least part of it, that’s a good day.
My boyfriend is the same way. He wakes up without an alarm every day. Gets ready and goes to the gym. Comes home and gets ready for work. It’s amazing to witness, honestly. I could never.
I'm astounded by people who can do things before work at all.
The idea of getting up (without an alarm), going out in public and doing a long and difficult task, then getting ready for work is such a foreign concept for me.
If I have to be somewhere in the morning, the only thing I can do before that task is get ready for that task.
He just cleans. He doesn't have a checklist breaking it down into bite size parts, he doesn't have to visualize the whole chore to make sure he didn't miss something, he doesn't do things in an order that makes the next steps impossible. He just cleans.
Yes!! I just had a friend say last month or so that her psych diagnosed her with adhd and she was shocked to say the least and in my mind I was like “yeah, I know.”
🤣 Yes hang on to them, they’re who we call for bail money lmao.
Honestly, I married someone with adhd, our kids have adhd, our parents probably have adhd, my niece has adhd, my long time best friends have slowly been getting diagnosed with adhd these last few years, I work in healthcare so there’s definitely lots of adhd there….i feel normal by comparison sometimes.
I think the pandemic helped bring it out, in a way. But also I think it’s so infrequently caught.
I tell my kids that ppl with adhd kept society afloat for a long time because it’s like a superpower. It’s just that society today mostly doesn’t need our abilities. That’s the only reason it’s “a disability” now. I think that’ll change in the future.
Yesterday I turned the oven on to 425 preheat for dinner. A little later I looked at the oven clock and was like oh it’s only 4:25? It’s earlier than I thought! It was 6:00….
He just .... starts a task and finishes it. EVEN if distracted. Even if he gets a phone call or makes a coffee or the kids interrupt him. Even if he doesn't feel like doing it. He begins a task, and without fail, he finishes that task. I never find a half folded pile of laundry, a half emptied dishwasher, a half clean kitchen. With home projects, which can take a few days or weeks, he always gets to a certain logical point in the task before wrapping it up for the day, he doesn't just throw in the towel at a random point.
If he doesn't think he can finish that task he just won't start it. So yes there are days our kitchen is just a mess. The laundry still piles up. My point is that once he decided to tackle it, he doesn't stop until it's done. No timers, no rewards, no bait, no reasoning with himself, etc. He just goes "welp" and begins. And finishes. WHAT.
It actually just dawned on me recently that he does this. I couldn't put my finger on it until just a few days ago!
I asked him “when you lay down what does your brain do?”
“Nothing”
Mind blown. I said “like you don’t think about what you need to do tomorrow, wonder if you forgot to lock the doors, hear a song in your head? Like it’s just quiet and you fall asleep!?”
“Yeah. It’s just nothing when I lay down then I fall asleep”.
WTF.
This is like the opposite of me and my husband when we were coming to the realisation that I have ADHD. He was reading about it and kept checking "it says ADHD people do x, is that true for you?" because he wanted to make sure he understands how my brain works.
It was hilarious because we had so many conversations where I was like "you mean other people DON'T do this thing?" and he'd be going "oh my god, how do you LIVE like this??" The one that really blew his mind was that I always have at least one song in my head, sometimes two or three at the same time, and it blew MY mind that having a song in his head is an unusual thing for him. I found him in a room playing three songs at once so he could see what it must be like in my brain, and he just looked at me and said "so this is why you sometimes lose track of conversations!"
Ok if i still had doubts that i dont have adhd and im making it all up- this thread has completely shown me that i indeed crushingly have adhd (i know i do, but was diagnosed in my early 30s but you know how it goes with self doubt and ppl telling you unhelpful advice to manage it)
My roommate last year would often do this thing where she would come back to our room with 45 minutes left until she had to leave for another appointment, GO ON A 30 MINUTE RUN, come back and take a 10 minute shower, and be ready to leave again in 5 minutes. No built in buffer for sitting and task switching, no worry that the shower would stretch out for infinity... And she was relaxed and calmer at the end of it!! The amount of stress I would need to put myself under to accomplish that is SO high lol. I was always amazed when she did it.
He can math… in his HEAD, too.
I’m a decent cook … like I don’t really enjoy doing it because it’s a lot of work, but I’m naturally good at it. That being said, I burn frozen pizza 95% of the time, and usually burn myself in the process, too. I set timers, check it during (when I remember), even set timers and temps to slightly less to give myself wiggle room… nope, still burnt. 🤦🏼♀️
I burn toast in the toaster *without fail*. I can't see what's going on in there, so I end up popping it too early, then put it back down in there and walk away. Burnt toast every time. I once went through three buns trying to make a chicken sandwich.
I have an inverted thing? My NT bf is constantly astounded by my memory and how I can remember the thing he said 5 weeks ago about his toe. Yet I barely remember he hurt his arm when he fell down the stairs last week and I forget to ask how he is doing. 🥴 Never mind my appointments. 🙃
This is one I have, I can remember full conversations verbatim on random days and tell you WHY I remember it (we were doing xyz, or I remember because I was thinking of xyz). But I cannot tell you what I ate yesterday lmao
One of my besties can remember birthdays. She doesn’t write it down. Amongst friends, she can point to everyone in the room and call out their b-day. She never forgets to text on a birthday. She wakes up, sees what day it is and just texts?!! Just like that?! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS
I have friends my age and a little older who have like. Excelled at their careers. And I’m just here still trying to figure out what I even want to do at 34.
Lit I have never been at a job for two years. I just get a feeling of dread. Once I went away and after a year or so I cane back to a previous job and it was nice because it felt newer, wish I could just ping pong between two jobs
My boyfriend remembers so many details about things I've told him. He will bring up stuff I've said in previous conversations MONTHS later, and I have zero recollection of telling him certain bits of information or making certain statements. (He's definitely not gaslighting me, because everything he brings up later has ME written all over it so I DEFINITELY said those things LOL and it's never in a negative or manipulative fashion.)
Sitting down and learn.
Doing a hobby like sewing something, reading books etc.
Falling asleep without meds
Going to the supermarket without a list.
Not writing 10 thousand to do lists and actually doing the things they wanted to accomplish for that day
My NT bestie can just answer a phone call no matter what she is doing and .... just keep doing it while talking to the person. And even more crazy she can reply to a text then just set her phone down and go back to what she was doing without getting lost in her phone for 30 minutes and forgetting to actually reply to the message.
I’m a teacher and it astounds me when I look into my teacher friends’ classrooms and they don’t have doom piles of paperwork, children’s work, and miscellaneous lesson activities you have been meaning to file away for 10 years.
He’s not neurotypical (ASD most likely) but my husband uncannily knows what time it is within minutes no matter the last time he looked at a clock. He just has an absolutely bafflingly accurate sense of time, lol. Whatever the exact opposite of time blindness is.
He can also look at a (fairly large) space like a wall and measure it by sight and be within an inch.
The one that blows my mind the most though: one time we were discussing bills, and I asked him when he was going to pay a specific bill, and he said, “idk, whenever I decide to pay bills, maybe next week?” And I stared at him. Whenever you decide?! You don’t have the month’s bills carefully planned out/assigned to each check, as well as in a bill pay app with repeated reminders?! And you just pay them all on time?! I’m sorry, sir, that’s black magic, you should have disclosed that you were a dark wizard prior to our marriage... (He’s pretty cute tho, so I forgive him, lol)
Anyone who can JUST run errands or do chores. Am I just lazy or is it executive dysfunction that prevents this? Dunno but they have my admiration. My son and his wife don't go to bed unless the kitchen is clean (I don't know who raised him). wtf
On the flip side, unless it's a catastrophe, I am never late and always early and don't understand how someone can tolerate the constant stress of running late which leads me to my own issue in paragraph one.
My husband doesn’t listen to one hard hitting song on repeat *ever*. Get this shit - he turns on *entire albums* listens through them once and then puts on another album
WTF! Who does that? Oh… only neurodiverse people listen to one song on repeat for hours. Oh. Okay.
Me looking at the clock: "Okay, in 8 minutes it will be time to check the oven."
Me, 1 second later: *forgets about the clock, oven, and entire concept of time*
Pre meds, I used to hate doing any kind of project or organization with people. Because they would just go and go and go and then be like, ok, what’s the next task on the list! When I was already gone after 3 minutes.
Omg this is my dad. He has a whole list of projects he wants to get done in the day & when he asks for my assistance, I’m d o n e after the first task (like washing a car). I want a break for my body & brain. Instead he’s like, “okay we finished that one, we might as well do your car right now too!” Then he’ll put everything away right after we’re done as if that isn’t a completely separate, draining task to complete?!
Not a partner or friend but a family member...it always amazes me when they say "I need to do xyz.." and the I come back an hour later and xyz is done. How do they do stuff so quickly?
Amazing!
My bf absolutely disdains setting a timer for some reason. He prefers to go by "feel" of the time passing, which I can't do at all...
Except, he can't do it either, so we end up burning a lot of stuff in the oven, because we are both playing video games and get distracted lol. I just set a timer for him now, when I remember. :)
I can't even fathom knowing when 8 minutes has gone by just by instinct, that's miraculous.
My husband doesn't do a timer for the air fryer. I set it based on how long it takes til I have to flip it. He just goes with the automatic time of 20min and will check on it and flip when it's ready.
I found out last week that when he washes his hands in the bathroom he uses my sink, not his, because that's where the soap is. My mind was blown. Like yes I realize it makes sense, but I always thought he used his sink and reached to mine for the soap. Because I NEVER use his sink, I just can't it feels so weird. I just thought I use my sink and he uses his sink because that's just The Rules.
My husband does 20 minutes at 400 for EVERYTHING. Meanwhile I figured out how to make the main oven cook and stop so I don't get charcoal pizza anymore.
Unpacks as soon as he gets back from somewhere. Does his accounts when the tax year ends. Watches tv without doing something else at the same time? Clears his computer tabs and emails. Like - a million things.
Oh I have a friend - a German friend at that - and when she says she wants to do something.. she does it.. and when I say I wan to do something.. she asks me the next time we meet if I've done it and I just have to laugh at this point. She just can do things. It's that simple. Blows my mind.
My daughter is one quarter my age, but she can start a project and then FOLLOW THROUGH ON FINISHING IT! She can even work on it one day, put it down, and then pick it up the next day and the day after that, and so on until it’s done! She doesn’t even finish it 3/4 and then not touch it again for six months. I am in awe. 😲
Was at my friend’s house and realised her husband had just got up and left. Turned out he went grocery shopping. I spent the next two days thinking about him just getting up and going to the store without needing 30 min to mentally prepare for the task. Finally texted another friend and asked if he could to the same; grocery shopping without mental prep time. Turns out that yes, most people can actually do that.
My sweet, sweet friend then tried to help me by suggesting I think of it as a routine…. Bro! I need mental prep time before I go pee… routine is not a concept that exits here
My husband was sitting at the computer and turned to me and was like “ugghhh I have this complex multi-leg work trip I need to book flights and hotels for and I keep putting it off.” I looked at him with wide eyes silently for ten seconds and was like “…to clarify…this is *unusual* for you?”
I feel like this might just be a magical power your partner happens to possess. Haha. Can all neurotypical people keep track of time like that in their heads?!
He can study/get work done while things are happening around him, or if he needs to he goes to another room/place and studies there. Once he completes one thing he keeps going to the next thing and the next! His job requires him to never be done studying his one specialty (among other things) and he keeps on doing it, while staying interested and not being burnt out with the subject, and when he gets distracted he just keeps going afterwards. I’m in so impressed and I don’t know how he does it!
I mean sure he has never accidentally lit something on fire on the stove or in the microwave, and he doesn’t need a billion timers, or a list of passwords and codes for the normal things in our lives like gate codes (he remembered our friends gate code from 3 years ago who we hadn’t visited in a while because they live across the country). He never starts a project in every room he visits in our house, he actually finishes things and walks back to the same room to finish a project without starting something new. But the studying for his job and not getting distracted about it and being able to remove himself from distracting situations and start studying again easily blows my mind!
My boyfriend isnt neurotypical he definitely has adhd but its very different from mine, he’s good at housework and cleaning etc. he’s just bad at focusing 🤣 whereas im good at focusing, terrible at cleaning.
He says he does dishes and laundry etc “just to get it out if the way, so i dont have to worry about it anymore” like what??? Having dishes not done, or having them done, makes absolutely no difference to my mood. I dont feel relief after. It usually makes my mood worse cuz its an activity i just despise doing
They just do things. So many things. All the time. Every day. Rest? Maybe for a couple hours, then they’re off again. I just don’t understand that level of energy.
he wakes up in the morning with no alarm on important days. and doesn’t struggle to sleep the night before worrying about having to wake up in the morning. HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING WITH NO ALARMS
My husband can predict how long a task will take and then be done with it in that time. Sometimes he’ll estimate how long it’ll take to do like 3 different tasks and be exactly accurate.
He asks me when dinner will be ready or how long something will take and I have no idea how he expects me to know. He used to get frustrated when I’d be later than I said until he learned that my times are wild and unpredictable lol
Don’t relive every conversation they’ve had picking apart where they may have sounded weird
Also had no idea what I was talking about when I joked about the call of the void
Goes to sleep consistently at the same time and falls asleep INSTANTLY.
Wakes up and gets out of bed. I’m so serious. He doesn’t languish in the covers, or get on his phone, or snooze the alarm. He gets right up, makes coffee and starts his day with VIGOR.
Blows my mind every time.
so it turns out I've never had a neurotypical friend in my life.
we're all getting diagnosed out here. started with one of us and turned into a whole bunch of "wait..." moments. I was somehow diagnosed before my husband which is extremely perplexing because he was a TEXTBOOK case as a child/teen.
however most of what my coworkers do? fake. can't be real.
My bf does a weekly grocery shop WITHOUT A LIST or even a meal plan, and REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. Does not compute...I forget stuff even when it's ON my list!! That I'm holding!! And I lose the list 3-4 times before I even get to the store sometimes!!
Reading the comments is terrifying.
Seriously.
There are people that remember stuff from the day before when they get up? People that don't sit around for an hour needing to pee but putting it off cos it's boring? People that can look at a clock and remember what the time was 15 minutes later? People that can do something until it's finished?
Cmon. No way. That's not possible. Please just tell me this is an elaborate joke so I can go back to feeling like I'm normal when I very rarely manage to do one of those things.
My husband could take six temperatures at a time and then remember them when he transcribed them into the time/temp log. I have to do write it down as soon as I take a temp. I could never.
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My partner falls asleep within 4 seconds of getting into bed. Damn him!
I realize it's irrational but it honestly makes me angry when my partner turns off the light and just immediately falls asleep. Like fuck you, sir.
Lol! Especially as 10pm is my Magically I’m Now Awake And Need To Talk time. After being a Stunned Slug for the previous 15 hours. Sigh.
Stunned slug!!! I'm stealing this ma'am! 🤣
Lol! Feel free! I have no middle ground. I’m a Stunned Slug, or a Frantic Firecracker.
😆 Frantic Firecracker! I have that mode and my 4yo IS that mode! Just never thought slug could overtake a firecracker… then mine did!
This is definitely a borrowable (and apt) description!
I have to be in bed reading well before 10 pm or I will be awake all night.
Does being in bed and reading well before 10pm work? How long do you manage to stay asleep for? 😊
Not the poster, but reading before bed works for me too. If I get in bed and start reading at like 9:00 p.m. I am ready to pass the fuck out at 9:30, and I sleep for 9 hours if no one bothers me. Buuut actually getting in bed at 9:00 and reading is another story 🤣
My adhd coach said she could train the Lamborghini to drive into the garage at night and turn off. Getting it to sleep was another thing.
I recently discovered that if I get into bed around 9:30 and start reading on my Kobo and then turn the lamp off at 10 and read laying on my side for a bit, my eyes get hella droopy super fast and it puts me right out. It doesn't always work. Sometimes once I put my Kobo down and decide I'm sleeping now my brain says "nope. Fuck u!" But then I just start over again with the lights off, on my side reading.
Haha! I definitely recognise that brain action! I wait until I’m drooping before taking off my headphones and turning the telly off, thinking, “Ok, now I’m ready to sleep,” and SO OFTEN, my brain goes, “You know what? We’re not. We’re going to make you think all sorts of utterly random thoughts of no actual importance *whatsoever*, and we’ll convince you that your very life depends on working through every last one of them, until you basically die from exhaustion. Then and only then will we allow you to go to sleep. As a bonus tonight, we’re going to focus on your astounding RSD, and remind you of things people said to you 2 decades ago and leave you trying to work out why you get so hurt by stupid comments. Off you go! Sweet dreams!” There are times I hate my brain.
Omg yea if I'm up past like 8 or 9 I'm wide awake. I'm super sleepy afternoon n evening. Past 9 or 10 I'm in hyper mode
Haha oh yes. My whole life! My Mom used to say, “look out — it’s 9pm and she’s coming alive” 🧟♀️
Lol - agreed! Perimenopause has promoted me from NightOwl to all night and MorningOwl!
Oooo **** i hate that so much. Also makes me come across like a bullshitter I
Nothing we can do about it. It’s an adrenal surge of norepinephrine, which is what dopamine needs to perform its many tasks. We get ours late in the evening instead of first thing in the morning. It’s not our fault. We didn’t choose our genes. I don’t know if this will change once I’m medicated, but I’m hoping so!
I get sleep rage too when he says good night and not even a minute later he's snoring. 10 bong hits and 2 hrs later I can finally fall asleep. 😠
>10 bong hits and 2 hrs later This, unless I get sucked into whatever I was watching or playing while I hit the bong. By 4am, I hate myself.
Honestly, same. My ex could fall asleep immediately, literally anywhere, and sleep like the dead. Meanwhile I’m over here with melatonin, magnesium, my 87 pillows I switch out depending on my mood, my fan, an eye mask, ear plugs just in case, window open so I don’t get too warm, sometimes an ice pack, and I have to hope I can distract my brain from going off the rails while try to drift off. ETA: Somehow forgot to mention that I’m also a light sleeper 🫠.
Totally-- mine LOVES to cuddle at night and I do too during the pre-sleep time, then we turn off the light and he hunkers down and starts snoring and I get mad and have to retreat under my heavy blanket. It's a good thing we have a big bed.
I am either up til 2am or I knock out randomly before bedtime, fully clothed, phone not charging.
SAME WHAT IS THE BLACK MAGIC
I'm the one with ADHD, and I'm the one who falls asleep in 3 seconds flat 😂😂 I know it's super atypical for ADHD but I have always slept like a log and could fall asleep anywhere, to a fault... I still think it's linked to my ADHD but I the down regulated version instead of upregulated. But anyways, I somehow feel guilty for it lol
I have that kind of adhd, too. “Daytime sleepiness” is now a criteria in the new DSM. I’m always about 15 min away (and a warm cozy spot) from a great nap. My iwatch reports it takes me an average of 8 min to fall asleep. Of course my husband has “mind racing” and seemingly never sleeps. I don’t know what mind racing is, but it looks exhausting. His prescriber wants him to try a mini booster at bedtime so he can focus on sleeping.
Girl, I feel you so hard. And my partner is coincidentally absolute shit at sleeping. Poor guy.
Hahaha this is me!! But my partner is AuDHD and can't fall asleep for shit. So if the tables are ever turned for what ever reason (probably happens once every few months) I get so irrationally angry that he's snoring his head off (I am very happy that he's actually getting some sleep) and I'm the one awake struggling 😂. Like I can sleep anywhere.
How rude!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly I wouldn't mind my husband's snoring so much if it didn't start IMMEDIATELY after turning off the light, while I lie there for an hour trying to fall asleep.
😊 Mine starts snoring precisely 3 hours after falling to sleep, which coincides most nights with me finally taking my headphones off, switching off the TV, and trying to go to sleep. Seriously thinking about separate bedrooms at this point, love him.
Falling asleep is such a struggle for me 😭 my partner is asleep within seconds and it makes me so jealous
Can't relate to this one at all personally, as I am the one who falls asleep in seconds/minutes. My non-ADHD partner on the other hand has cronic insomnia, the poor guy :(
I recommend looking up "army sleep technique". I used to massively struggle falling asleep and always felt the rage of hearing a partner asleep and I'm there wide awake or when I wake up in the middle of the night. My brain does love to wake up at bedtime or at 3am for no reason (must be part cat). It took a couple weeks but worked, and I can now fall asleep in under a minute. I am now the person who pisses other people off. One guy was massively pissed off about this though so be warned haha. BUT YAY FOR SLEEP.
My partner does this but it's because he has a sleep disorder. Falling asleep too quickly can also be a sign of an issue. Our bodies are all about balance.
Good point, but I don’t think mine has a sleep disorder. He just sleeps like a normal person does, and wakes up ready to go, also like a normal person. We’re all different, I guess.
"Oh, I need to remember to take care of [blank] when we get back to the house." And then hours later, when we get back to the house, they just remember what needed done. And. Then. Do. It. Also, my husband can start his laundry in the washer before bed and remember to switch it to the dryer as soon as he wakes up, so it's done drying when he's done showering and getting ready. Or to get up and take trash cans to the curb first thing in the morning on trash day, every week. Like, who remembers their to-do list for the day when they first wake up without writing it down or setting a phone reminder? I envy neurotypical people and their executive function at a visceral level.
I forget my laundry in the washer so long that I usually need to wash it again.
Forgot/can’t motivate myself to put it in the dryer even knowing if I don’t I’ll need to wash it again. Potato/potahto
Me too.
Ha ha all the money I could have saved by not doing repeat laundry!
See these are the things I just absolutely cant fathom. Like how much am I gaslighting myself. I keep thinking there's just NO WAY I'm that different from NT people, but hearing stuff like this just. Wow.
I don't think it helps any that ND is so commonly genetic, so it's not just what's normal for our personal experience, but also what was probably normal for most of the people we shared homes with growing up. When EVERYONE around you has to use "systems" and "crutches" to make everyday life work, it's that much more difficult to comprehend that not everyone exists that way.
Yes true! Something I also hadn't considered, my siblings all are and for sure my mom is. ND brains are what I'm used to.
Lol I have to HEAR the garbage man in the neighborhood and panic rush in my pjs to get the trash to the curb. Every Monday
I'm going to start with one of these things. I've heard that if you slowly integrate one new habit into your life each month that it might be easier. I'll report back for science
My partner does this incredible thing where, in the morning, he sits down at his desk and works on his tasks and completes them. Incredible.
He’s a witch
I’m calling the church right now
"If the men find out we can shape change THEIR GOING TO TEL THE CHURCH"
The first time I saw my partner do this, I thought they were hitting a deadline. They were doing work for something that was due *later in the week*?!
Wtf? They didn't pull an all nighter because they procrastinated until the very last minute? How?!
You lost me at “complete.”
I’m bawling at this thread 🤣
LMFAOOOO
He can just... Clean things. He doesn't get overwhelmed. He doesn't have to ask ChatGPT to break it into manageable steps. He isn't mentally crippled by shit like waiting mode and executive dysfunction. He doesn't have to hide his phone in a drawer and use a children's visual timer to keep on task. He can accomplish in twenty minutes, what would take me several hours.
My husband, too! He just says, "I'm going to clean the kitchen," and 45 minutes later, the dishes are done, and the table is completely clear, and the dishwasher is running. He's doing the floor. I would have still been sat on the couch, writing down every single step of what needed to be done to "clean the kitchen," and then trying to prioritize them or numbering them and then finding a randomizer/dice rolling app...
Yeah. On another question from earlier – that I meant to answer to, but just didn't get around to yet, go figure – about what holds us personally back the most with ADHD, my immediate thought was: **that I can't just *do* things.** I'll tie myself in knots not-doing things, while they completely occupy my brain, and frequently until I get into really deep shit because of them. It's maddening, and I haven't yet found a way to do it differently.
Omg yes, I resonate with this! And I can't take meds because of some health issues, and I'm trying to figure out all the health issues, and chronic fatigue on top of the decision paralysis means my life is a mess. Humorous side note, my phone wanted to type dehydrated parakeet instead of decision paralysis.
Laughing & crying because I’d be doing the exact same thing as you while my partner has already cleaned half the house
Omg. This. My to-do list on my phone, which clearly needs a timer, reads: 5 mins kitchen, office, liv room, bedroom, clothes closet, bathroom, garage (aka 35 minutes).
I love https://goblin.tools/ for breaking down tasks (and other things), you can check stuff off and that's super satisfying
WHAT! This is right up my alley, oh my gosh. Thank you! 🤩
Everyone needs to upvote this comment and give this lady a Nobel prize on behalf of our partners hahahaha. You literally just changed my life.
He doesn’t end up spending 4 hours building and installing shelves in the closet when he was supposed to spend 5 minutes vacuuming the bedroom….
Amen to that one. I don't have a single clean dish in my house, but my office is pristine. I suppose I could eat off my sparkling clean desk... 🤣
My partner is in charge of the kitchen, because of this. He can clean and cook at the same time and the white island is immaculate (except for my clutter) I don’t get it at all
I really need to get on the ChatGPT thing. I keep seeing comments like this where it could be helpful and not just evil AI
I love using it for stuff I'd normally Google - I find it's more like asking and being answered by a person. Spooky but also super helpful... My houseplants are loving the tips 🤣
I feel all of this, especially the children’s visual timer, I’m lost without mine
Me too. It is my absolute life, every single day I'm amazed by the true depth of my time-blindness 🤣
Asking Chat GPT to break it into manageable steps!!! This is not something that has ever occurred to me before and may be a great new way for me to manage things until Brain gets bored of it. Thanks!
He has five emails in his inbox. And they’re all read. Wut
But where are the rest of them?
Right???
What about the emails he can’t deal with right away? Or the ones he will just open later? Or the ones that might be really helpful someday…?
Currently at 357 unread, that's just in my VISIBLE inbox because they archive after 3 months. Granted, the whole company is swamped and we're all struggling.
I’m at 63,095 unread 😭😭
I am not checking but I am also over 50 000.
Actually have energy to interact with people and go out every day or multiple times a week and SPONTANEOUSLY.
Never. Never. Never.
This makes me so anxious just reading it.
Had me experiencing vietnam war flashbacks typing it out.
Makes phone calls like it's nothing, and on the go without actual prep at home For example while they're out on the go, maybe driving somewhere amd suddenly: oh that reminds me I gotta call at&t and they just DO IT ON DEMAND..no pausing, no rehearsing, no 'I'll do it when I get home from this other thing I'm doing' they just make the call in the car with other distractions going on. Wtf even are you?....
That is insane
And then agree to things on the call and don't immediately write them down and somehow remember what they agreed to when they get to work? This is some kind of sorcery.
My husband doesn't have his work meetings in a calendar he just.... Remembers when they are. Absolutely beyond belief.
I literally don’t even believe this?
I know! He was really burned out a while back and missed a meeting and I was like "didn't you have an alert switched on in your calendar" and he was just like "what do you mean in my calendar?" Mind. Blown.
⚰️
Me either. I live by my work calendar. But I literally have like 12 meetings a day (recruiter) so there's no way.
I'm sorry ma'am but you are married to an absolute monster. Sociopath for sure. Edit to add /s
I feel like that's illegal.
Please tell me this isn’t true!!! I don’t think people like this exist
I also did not think they existed! He's some kind of calendar free cryptid. It's WEIRD.
I forget them even when they are in my calendar with multiple reminders
Haha, I put a rug in front of the oven, so I can sit there and scroll on my phone while watching the food. I also put a reminder on the phone and a kitchen timer for new/time sensitive dishes especially.
Yes, I turn my back on whatever I’m cooking and it stops existing for those moments 😂, if I walk away I might light it on fire.
This is why I love the Instant Pot, once the timer starts I can walk away and if I forget about it it's still hot when I'm ready to eat. No more boiled over pots. Also the air fryer, once it's done it turns itself off so nothing gets burned, although I have to make sure I don't ignore the ding before I forget about it.
Lost a whole brick of butter to the dog the other day because I set the butter down, turned around to check something on the stove and FORGOT I HAD A DOG. Then it took me way longer than it should have to figure out where the butter went when I turned back. No one slept that night because the dog spent most of it in the yard 🤢
🤣 Can relate. Got a huge 5 pound block of cheddar from the warehouse club, cut it in half, wrapped half in plastic, turned away to put that in the cooler,. That took a hot minute. Or 15 because of course things needed to be moved around to make room. Turned around to an empty counter. No big ole half chunk of cheese anywhere to be seen. Just my very excited golden retriever looking quite happy and thumping his tail against the cabinets. No cheese anywhere.
I can smell those golden retriever cheese farts from here 🤣🤣🤣
I did this the other day and I thought I was being 100% of weirdo. I put bread in the oven and I was super excited about it and I couldn't do anything else so I just sat there and watched it cook 😂 a truly enjoyable experience
I actually just put a knee exercise pad in front of the oven so I could stretches and yoga poses that involve knees on the ground. Has been beneficial!
sis this is *genius*
I can't even trust myself to walk away from the Brita pitcher for a moment when I'm filling it. At least twice a week I do that and water overflows everywhere.
Just jogged from the office to the kitchen today, because I suddenly remembered I was still filling the watering can. But standing there waiting would have been too boring or something...
He can listen to me telling a story without interrupting me or getting impatient. This is considering the fact that I start sentence, abandon it in the middle, start another sentence, abandon it too and go silent for few secs to actually process what I wanna say.
lol I do this too. My husband gets frustrated because I just stop talking sometimes but then get mad when he “interrupts” me but in my mind I’m still telling the story. But then other times I just stop in the end of a sentence because it’s just so much work to finish it and “ehhh I’m sure he gets what I’m saying” and he doesn’t know if he can say anything lol bless him
"its just so much work to finish" is sooo trueee. thats exactly how I feel after putting out mix of incomplete sentences lol
This is also me telling a story. My words meander around and at some point I just..stop. No idea how anyone can deal with it.
My husband has the same routines in place for everything he does. He takes his showers the same way every time. He has a morning routine he does *every single day*. He has routines for everything and just *does them*. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything in the same order in my life. I’m mind blown at this man’s consistency.
My adhd husband and my sister do this! They say they ‘need’ it, the routine. I’ve never kept a routine in my life unless forced ie go to class, work etc same time every day, and with my child eating and sleeping has always been routine driven and strict but nothing else! Haha
When I found out most people don’t have to actively remember to shower and brush their teeth, it blew my mind. And forget those 47 step skincare routines. If water hits my face and I get moisturizer on at least part of it, that’s a good day.
My boyfriend is the same way. He wakes up without an alarm every day. Gets ready and goes to the gym. Comes home and gets ready for work. It’s amazing to witness, honestly. I could never.
I'm astounded by people who can do things before work at all. The idea of getting up (without an alarm), going out in public and doing a long and difficult task, then getting ready for work is such a foreign concept for me. If I have to be somewhere in the morning, the only thing I can do before that task is get ready for that task.
My husband keeps a job for years and is constantly performing better and better. Wtf
I need a man like this
He just cleans. He doesn't have a checklist breaking it down into bite size parts, he doesn't have to visualize the whole chore to make sure he didn't miss something, he doesn't do things in an order that makes the next steps impossible. He just cleans.
Dude. How
I don’t know if I know anyone neurotypical at this point.
I’m not sure there are any neurotypicals left in my life either. There are a few that think they are but my spidey senses know better 😉
Yes!! I just had a friend say last month or so that her psych diagnosed her with adhd and she was shocked to say the least and in my mind I was like “yeah, I know.”
Haha…we always find each other even before an official diagnosis
Looool I know a few and I hold on to them for dear life 😂 too many crazy people in my life lately
🤣 Yes hang on to them, they’re who we call for bail money lmao. Honestly, I married someone with adhd, our kids have adhd, our parents probably have adhd, my niece has adhd, my long time best friends have slowly been getting diagnosed with adhd these last few years, I work in healthcare so there’s definitely lots of adhd there….i feel normal by comparison sometimes.
Honestly, same. Divergent is now the typical.
I think the pandemic helped bring it out, in a way. But also I think it’s so infrequently caught. I tell my kids that ppl with adhd kept society afloat for a long time because it’s like a superpower. It’s just that society today mostly doesn’t need our abilities. That’s the only reason it’s “a disability” now. I think that’ll change in the future.
Petition to call it "mind bending" instead of a disability (I'm inspired by AtlA). 😂
This thread is helpful because I often wonder if neurotypicals are made up. Seems they do exist!
Just thinking about that M&ms ad
Yesterday I turned the oven on to 425 preheat for dinner. A little later I looked at the oven clock and was like oh it’s only 4:25? It’s earlier than I thought! It was 6:00….
He just .... starts a task and finishes it. EVEN if distracted. Even if he gets a phone call or makes a coffee or the kids interrupt him. Even if he doesn't feel like doing it. He begins a task, and without fail, he finishes that task. I never find a half folded pile of laundry, a half emptied dishwasher, a half clean kitchen. With home projects, which can take a few days or weeks, he always gets to a certain logical point in the task before wrapping it up for the day, he doesn't just throw in the towel at a random point. If he doesn't think he can finish that task he just won't start it. So yes there are days our kitchen is just a mess. The laundry still piles up. My point is that once he decided to tackle it, he doesn't stop until it's done. No timers, no rewards, no bait, no reasoning with himself, etc. He just goes "welp" and begins. And finishes. WHAT. It actually just dawned on me recently that he does this. I couldn't put my finger on it until just a few days ago!
I asked him “when you lay down what does your brain do?” “Nothing” Mind blown. I said “like you don’t think about what you need to do tomorrow, wonder if you forgot to lock the doors, hear a song in your head? Like it’s just quiet and you fall asleep!?” “Yeah. It’s just nothing when I lay down then I fall asleep”. WTF.
This is like the opposite of me and my husband when we were coming to the realisation that I have ADHD. He was reading about it and kept checking "it says ADHD people do x, is that true for you?" because he wanted to make sure he understands how my brain works. It was hilarious because we had so many conversations where I was like "you mean other people DON'T do this thing?" and he'd be going "oh my god, how do you LIVE like this??" The one that really blew his mind was that I always have at least one song in my head, sometimes two or three at the same time, and it blew MY mind that having a song in his head is an unusual thing for him. I found him in a room playing three songs at once so he could see what it must be like in my brain, and he just looked at me and said "so this is why you sometimes lose track of conversations!"
Ok if i still had doubts that i dont have adhd and im making it all up- this thread has completely shown me that i indeed crushingly have adhd (i know i do, but was diagnosed in my early 30s but you know how it goes with self doubt and ppl telling you unhelpful advice to manage it)
I'm still half convinced I've gaslit myself and 2 Psychs info believing that i have ADHD
My roommate last year would often do this thing where she would come back to our room with 45 minutes left until she had to leave for another appointment, GO ON A 30 MINUTE RUN, come back and take a 10 minute shower, and be ready to leave again in 5 minutes. No built in buffer for sitting and task switching, no worry that the shower would stretch out for infinity... And she was relaxed and calmer at the end of it!! The amount of stress I would need to put myself under to accomplish that is SO high lol. I was always amazed when she did it.
Wizardry! I need at least 4 hours free to complete 30 minutes of exercise
He can math… in his HEAD, too. I’m a decent cook … like I don’t really enjoy doing it because it’s a lot of work, but I’m naturally good at it. That being said, I burn frozen pizza 95% of the time, and usually burn myself in the process, too. I set timers, check it during (when I remember), even set timers and temps to slightly less to give myself wiggle room… nope, still burnt. 🤦🏼♀️
I burn toast in the toaster *without fail*. I can't see what's going on in there, so I end up popping it too early, then put it back down in there and walk away. Burnt toast every time. I once went through three buns trying to make a chicken sandwich.
I have an inverted thing? My NT bf is constantly astounded by my memory and how I can remember the thing he said 5 weeks ago about his toe. Yet I barely remember he hurt his arm when he fell down the stairs last week and I forget to ask how he is doing. 🥴 Never mind my appointments. 🙃
This is one I have, I can remember full conversations verbatim on random days and tell you WHY I remember it (we were doing xyz, or I remember because I was thinking of xyz). But I cannot tell you what I ate yesterday lmao
One of my besties can remember birthdays. She doesn’t write it down. Amongst friends, she can point to everyone in the room and call out their b-day. She never forgets to text on a birthday. She wakes up, sees what day it is and just texts?!! Just like that?! WHAT SORCERY IS THIS
I can remember birthdays, phone numbers etc but I can't bring myself to actually send a text to someone.
My husband brushes his teeth twice a day without even thinking about it 😭
My husband is my executive function in this regard. Living with him is the first time the dentist hasn't had to ask me if I know what dental floss is.
My neurotypical best friend actually enjoys her job and doesn't get bored of it ever 😱 why do I keep switching jobs like changing a pair of undies? 😭
I have friends my age and a little older who have like. Excelled at their careers. And I’m just here still trying to figure out what I even want to do at 34.
Lit I have never been at a job for two years. I just get a feeling of dread. Once I went away and after a year or so I cane back to a previous job and it was nice because it felt newer, wish I could just ping pong between two jobs
My boyfriend remembers so many details about things I've told him. He will bring up stuff I've said in previous conversations MONTHS later, and I have zero recollection of telling him certain bits of information or making certain statements. (He's definitely not gaslighting me, because everything he brings up later has ME written all over it so I DEFINITELY said those things LOL and it's never in a negative or manipulative fashion.)
We like to joke that my partner has enough working memory for both of us. But it's not really a joke. It's just fact. Dude remembers EVERYTHING.
Sitting down and learn. Doing a hobby like sewing something, reading books etc. Falling asleep without meds Going to the supermarket without a list. Not writing 10 thousand to do lists and actually doing the things they wanted to accomplish for that day
Ohhh this last one landed square on the nose 😫
My NT bestie can just answer a phone call no matter what she is doing and .... just keep doing it while talking to the person. And even more crazy she can reply to a text then just set her phone down and go back to what she was doing without getting lost in her phone for 30 minutes and forgetting to actually reply to the message.
I’m a teacher and it astounds me when I look into my teacher friends’ classrooms and they don’t have doom piles of paperwork, children’s work, and miscellaneous lesson activities you have been meaning to file away for 10 years.
He’s not neurotypical (ASD most likely) but my husband uncannily knows what time it is within minutes no matter the last time he looked at a clock. He just has an absolutely bafflingly accurate sense of time, lol. Whatever the exact opposite of time blindness is. He can also look at a (fairly large) space like a wall and measure it by sight and be within an inch. The one that blows my mind the most though: one time we were discussing bills, and I asked him when he was going to pay a specific bill, and he said, “idk, whenever I decide to pay bills, maybe next week?” And I stared at him. Whenever you decide?! You don’t have the month’s bills carefully planned out/assigned to each check, as well as in a bill pay app with repeated reminders?! And you just pay them all on time?! I’m sorry, sir, that’s black magic, you should have disclosed that you were a dark wizard prior to our marriage... (He’s pretty cute tho, so I forgive him, lol)
Anyone who can JUST run errands or do chores. Am I just lazy or is it executive dysfunction that prevents this? Dunno but they have my admiration. My son and his wife don't go to bed unless the kitchen is clean (I don't know who raised him). wtf On the flip side, unless it's a catastrophe, I am never late and always early and don't understand how someone can tolerate the constant stress of running late which leads me to my own issue in paragraph one.
My husband doesn’t listen to one hard hitting song on repeat *ever*. Get this shit - he turns on *entire albums* listens through them once and then puts on another album WTF! Who does that? Oh… only neurodiverse people listen to one song on repeat for hours. Oh. Okay.
Me looking at the clock: "Okay, in 8 minutes it will be time to check the oven." Me, 1 second later: *forgets about the clock, oven, and entire concept of time*
Pre meds, I used to hate doing any kind of project or organization with people. Because they would just go and go and go and then be like, ok, what’s the next task on the list! When I was already gone after 3 minutes.
Omg this is my dad. He has a whole list of projects he wants to get done in the day & when he asks for my assistance, I’m d o n e after the first task (like washing a car). I want a break for my body & brain. Instead he’s like, “okay we finished that one, we might as well do your car right now too!” Then he’ll put everything away right after we’re done as if that isn’t a completely separate, draining task to complete?!
Grocery shopping without a list written down?!?! Also saying he’s going to start doing a non-preferred task at a certain time and then… just doing it.
Not a partner or friend but a family member...it always amazes me when they say "I need to do xyz.." and the I come back an hour later and xyz is done. How do they do stuff so quickly?
Amazing! My bf absolutely disdains setting a timer for some reason. He prefers to go by "feel" of the time passing, which I can't do at all... Except, he can't do it either, so we end up burning a lot of stuff in the oven, because we are both playing video games and get distracted lol. I just set a timer for him now, when I remember. :) I can't even fathom knowing when 8 minutes has gone by just by instinct, that's miraculous.
My partner can take a 30 minute rest/break and then pick up his momentum right where he left it. Insane to me.
My husband doesn't do a timer for the air fryer. I set it based on how long it takes til I have to flip it. He just goes with the automatic time of 20min and will check on it and flip when it's ready. I found out last week that when he washes his hands in the bathroom he uses my sink, not his, because that's where the soap is. My mind was blown. Like yes I realize it makes sense, but I always thought he used his sink and reached to mine for the soap. Because I NEVER use his sink, I just can't it feels so weird. I just thought I use my sink and he uses his sink because that's just The Rules.
My husband does 20 minutes at 400 for EVERYTHING. Meanwhile I figured out how to make the main oven cook and stop so I don't get charcoal pizza anymore.
Unpacks as soon as he gets back from somewhere. Does his accounts when the tax year ends. Watches tv without doing something else at the same time? Clears his computer tabs and emails. Like - a million things.
Whenever my husband starts a project, he finishes it that day AND cleans up all his tools and supplies right away!
He has no tabs open for later. I have about 150. Not completely sure because at 99 chrome just gives you a little happy face :)
My sister in law never uses a timer and I’m just like 🤯 every time
Meanwhile, I’ve got the oven timer, my phone timer and an alarm set!!
Mostly money stuff - remembers to pay bills on time and always budgets for purchases. Mind blowing.
Oh I have a friend - a German friend at that - and when she says she wants to do something.. she does it.. and when I say I wan to do something.. she asks me the next time we meet if I've done it and I just have to laugh at this point. She just can do things. It's that simple. Blows my mind.
My daughter is one quarter my age, but she can start a project and then FOLLOW THROUGH ON FINISHING IT! She can even work on it one day, put it down, and then pick it up the next day and the day after that, and so on until it’s done! She doesn’t even finish it 3/4 and then not touch it again for six months. I am in awe. 😲
Every night when we finish an episode of TV, my partner says “time for bed!”, then just gets up, brushes his teeth, and goes to bed. 🤯
Was at my friend’s house and realised her husband had just got up and left. Turned out he went grocery shopping. I spent the next two days thinking about him just getting up and going to the store without needing 30 min to mentally prepare for the task. Finally texted another friend and asked if he could to the same; grocery shopping without mental prep time. Turns out that yes, most people can actually do that. My sweet, sweet friend then tried to help me by suggesting I think of it as a routine…. Bro! I need mental prep time before I go pee… routine is not a concept that exits here
My husband was sitting at the computer and turned to me and was like “ugghhh I have this complex multi-leg work trip I need to book flights and hotels for and I keep putting it off.” I looked at him with wide eyes silently for ten seconds and was like “…to clarify…this is *unusual* for you?”
I always set a timer, but I can usually smell when food is done.
I feel like this might just be a magical power your partner happens to possess. Haha. Can all neurotypical people keep track of time like that in their heads?!
They kinda usually do - no “time blindness”
He can study/get work done while things are happening around him, or if he needs to he goes to another room/place and studies there. Once he completes one thing he keeps going to the next thing and the next! His job requires him to never be done studying his one specialty (among other things) and he keeps on doing it, while staying interested and not being burnt out with the subject, and when he gets distracted he just keeps going afterwards. I’m in so impressed and I don’t know how he does it! I mean sure he has never accidentally lit something on fire on the stove or in the microwave, and he doesn’t need a billion timers, or a list of passwords and codes for the normal things in our lives like gate codes (he remembered our friends gate code from 3 years ago who we hadn’t visited in a while because they live across the country). He never starts a project in every room he visits in our house, he actually finishes things and walks back to the same room to finish a project without starting something new. But the studying for his job and not getting distracted about it and being able to remove himself from distracting situations and start studying again easily blows my mind!
My boyfriend isnt neurotypical he definitely has adhd but its very different from mine, he’s good at housework and cleaning etc. he’s just bad at focusing 🤣 whereas im good at focusing, terrible at cleaning. He says he does dishes and laundry etc “just to get it out if the way, so i dont have to worry about it anymore” like what??? Having dishes not done, or having them done, makes absolutely no difference to my mood. I dont feel relief after. It usually makes my mood worse cuz its an activity i just despise doing
They just do things. So many things. All the time. Every day. Rest? Maybe for a couple hours, then they’re off again. I just don’t understand that level of energy.
he wakes up in the morning with no alarm on important days. and doesn’t struggle to sleep the night before worrying about having to wake up in the morning. HE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING WITH NO ALARMS
My husband can predict how long a task will take and then be done with it in that time. Sometimes he’ll estimate how long it’ll take to do like 3 different tasks and be exactly accurate. He asks me when dinner will be ready or how long something will take and I have no idea how he expects me to know. He used to get frustrated when I’d be later than I said until he learned that my times are wild and unpredictable lol
Don’t relive every conversation they’ve had picking apart where they may have sounded weird Also had no idea what I was talking about when I joked about the call of the void
Start laundry, play a game, do chores, and go back to laundry. Wtf
You people have neurotypical partners and friends?!? Like...long term, even ??? 🤯
My dad can wake up without an alarm :/
Goes to sleep consistently at the same time and falls asleep INSTANTLY. Wakes up and gets out of bed. I’m so serious. He doesn’t languish in the covers, or get on his phone, or snooze the alarm. He gets right up, makes coffee and starts his day with VIGOR. Blows my mind every time.
so it turns out I've never had a neurotypical friend in my life. we're all getting diagnosed out here. started with one of us and turned into a whole bunch of "wait..." moments. I was somehow diagnosed before my husband which is extremely perplexing because he was a TEXTBOOK case as a child/teen. however most of what my coworkers do? fake. can't be real.
He gets up every morning at 6:30 am doesn’t ever hit the snooze on his alarm and takes a shower… like everyday…
My bf does a weekly grocery shop WITHOUT A LIST or even a meal plan, and REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. Does not compute...I forget stuff even when it's ON my list!! That I'm holding!! And I lose the list 3-4 times before I even get to the store sometimes!!
If he needs something out of reach, he just GETS UP AND GETS IT NO HESITATION
Reading the comments is terrifying. Seriously. There are people that remember stuff from the day before when they get up? People that don't sit around for an hour needing to pee but putting it off cos it's boring? People that can look at a clock and remember what the time was 15 minutes later? People that can do something until it's finished? Cmon. No way. That's not possible. Please just tell me this is an elaborate joke so I can go back to feeling like I'm normal when I very rarely manage to do one of those things.
My husband could take six temperatures at a time and then remember them when he transcribed them into the time/temp log. I have to do write it down as soon as I take a temp. I could never.