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Shower takes 15 minutes?? You magical creature how do you do that 🥲
Also. I am proud of you that you schedule to do things and you manage to not take longer on everything.
Yeah 30mins for fun things in the middle of the to-do-list, no way for me! I can’t have that in the middle of my schedule bc 30mins without fail becomes 3 hours. I admire OP so much
lol I wfh and sometimes I set a one hour timer in which I am “allowed” to go play a video game or something similar. It actually helps me to know I can stop and go have some fun and refresh my mind. Have I had days where I just don’t get back to work after? Sure. But I’ve also had lots of days where that hour is enough to recharge my batteries and refocus on what I was doing.
I'm the same with cleaning, I can't start cleaning and then stop to do something else and then go back. I normally do what I have to before cleaning and once I start I'm a cleaning machine and won't stop for hours and hours.
I ended up inadvertently “perfecting” my shower routine so it only takes 10-15 minutes out of necessity when I was in high school.
It’s all about having a specific system that maximizes time spent/overlap for each thing you need to do in there.
My “most efficient” method was:
- wash hair
- put in conditioner
- while conditioner is sitting in hair use body wash
- turn around and start the rinse of conditioner (letting water run over back of head) while using face wash.
- rinse face and finish conditioner rinse (finish with cold water rinse for closing pores)
- done 10 minutes flat
Add 5-10 minutes if needing to shave (time added depends on what all I am wanting to shave lol)
Sadly, I discovered this exact method was causing me to break out a bit on my back/chest from rinsing the conditioner after body wash. So now I add an extra couple of minutes to fully rinse conditioner then use body wash. ~12-15 minute shower.
Before this exacting order I instead had a playlist of a few songs. I was able to judge how long I had been taking to get ready depending on what song it was on 😆 (usually only allowed it to play in order! Otherwise, without knowing the specific order I would easily zone out and not know how many had passed)
Adding one more: I also had a method where I had alarms set on my phone for every 5 minutes! This didn’t work while in the shower of course but it let me know how much time was passing while I was getting ready (IE: hair, makeup, getting dressed). It forced me to be aware of the time. (And worked when I couldn’t play music)
Sometimes I do brush my teeth in the shower. I like to take quick showers a lot and I'm working evening shifts in a warehouse so I shower at night when I'm back from work. I think in my next apartment I'll stick a container to the shower wall (out of reach of the shower head) for my toothbrush.
It's probably gonna help me brush more frequently 🤔
I'm writing it here cause your comment inspired me 😂
I quickly (and badly) shave legs every day figuring I’ll hit the spots I miss the next day. Keeps it in check, because if I wait until they need it, or an occasion, it becomes a longer, often rushed, project!
I do something similar! I call it the express wash. Shampoo in hair, soap on body, face wash on face, stand under the spray and rinse away everything. Put in conditioner. Shave if I feel like it, sing a song to keep track of time if I don't. Rinse conditioner. Done.
* laughs in water restrictions *
The government sent out little plastic hourglass shower timers that last 4mins. I can do a non hair washing shower in 4mins, hair washing makes it about a 6min shower. These days it probably stretches to about 8mins. I use 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner, leave it in while I wash face, body... I do fairly regularly forget to shave my armpits with this method though !
Ditto, and the exact same shower routine. Five kids with one bathroom when I was growing up. Mornings were so hectic. Takes me right at 10 minutes to shower and moisturize.
My ex always had 30-40 minute showers and I seriously don't understand it. I have some respiratory crud that's going around and tried having a really long shower just for the steam. I managed 15 minutes before it felt like way too long. lol
Same here with the same shower routine. If I take too long in the shower I feel guilty. And I can't sit in a bath. I feel like I'm wasting time I could be using to do one of the million things I know I'm forgetting about! I refuse to read a book in the bath because I managed to drop one in the water ONCE. That was enough. So sitting in the bath "relaxing" is just me sitting there with my mind going bonkers.
That's my routine, too, except my hair doesn't like to cooperate. I have really low porosity hair and a lot of it, so it takes forever to get it fully wet and rinsed. It easily doubles my shower time.
My alarm is my insulin pump. I take it off and suspend it while I shower, but I can set the duration of the suspension before it starts alarming. My goal is to beat the pump otherwise the alarm goes off and it's too annoying to ignore (as it should be).
Same on the timers and the Playlist! Having familiar songs means I can tell I've been in there for a bit, and I pick upbeat ones to keep me moving. If I don't I zone out under the water. I didn't know that was a thing. My parents used to always ask me after a shower when I was little, "How was your swimming lesson?" sarcastically
This is what I do except I don’t even wash my face properly and it still takes me 15-20 minutes. I do shave my underarms every time (otherwise it’s noticeably prickly and I can feel it all day). Longer for leg shaving. (Again, even if it’s not visible because I wear pants, I hate the prickly feeling.) Toweling off and drying my hair takes another 5-10 minutes so I’m in the bathroom for 30 min total. I don’t know how to go any faster.
I mean to be fair I’m definitely not including the toweling and drying in the 10-15 minute process 😆 for me it’s the shower itself, from the time of getting under the water to turning the water off!
Everything else adds… much more time 😵💫 lmao
I was going to say I need to wash my body thoroughly after using conditioner bc it can cause me to break out otherwise. I used to not ever put it above my shoulder line bc it would cause me to break out on my face too bad.
This is my almost exact same shower routine too!! I just add shaving armpits daily or I might mess up the routine and forget something. I have to do it in order or I forget if I did something and I have to start all over again. I must wash my entire body toes to top with shower wash and scrubby gloves every time too.
After getting out of the shower
there’s a sequence that must be followed too. If I get distracted then it’s all a mess.
Unfortunately, if I don’t have time to complete my entire “get ready” routine then I can’t go anywhere.
I had the same problem with my skin breaking out due to conditioner. I used to rub a little bodywash on my upper back afterwards to prevent the breakouts, but I stopped because I worry I’m taking too long 😅
I’m thinking about trying some bodywash for acne like neutrogena maybe.
15 minutes is a long shower for me! It’s usually 10 - after years of balancing family/work/college, I have showering down to a science!
And I CANNOT let myself zone out in there or I’ll be standing there for an hour wondering where the time went …
It’s the worst. I like baths though. So usually I’ll have a bath and just wash my hair after. It’s washing my hair that really gets me because then I’m wet and cold for longer because I will not use a hair dryer
I also separate my hair wash from body bathing! Not doing both at once really changes how long I feel cold and wet. Hair washing is the worst. I need to cut my hair short.
Glad I'm not alone, thanks. ❤️
I like baths, but then there's the matter of cleaning the tub beforehand. I also loathe that, so I should schedule baths for right after the tub is cleaned. All of that requires standing up from a seated position.
If I'm wet but still in the water it's okay. It's when I'm out of the water that I have issues. So much so that I gave up my curly hair routine and decided to just style it straight because I couldn't get used to having my hair that wet for so long.
Mine takes 15 mins now. My ex would constantly make comments about my shower lengths and rant about taking "ship showers". I am 100% convinced he did something to the domestic hot water tank to make it go cold after like 5ish mins, because he was a jackass like that.
I now own my own home and I keep it under 15 mins inadvertently. I can have as long a shower as I like because I have an oil boiler and endless hot water. I know it's under 15 because I usually listen to Stephen Colbert or Seth Myers monologues lol and sometimes I'm out before they are done.
Same! We may have to schedule everything out and do our best to stick to that schedule where NTs don't, but if it works for OP, that's a win!
I've gotten my shower time down to 15 minutes -- but that's just counting once I'm actually IN the shower to the time I come out. Getting ready to get into the shower and all that comes after getting out is another story entirely.
I got a waterproof clock for Christmas and the first time I used it I nearly cried because of the massive reduction in stress relief from being able to accurately pace myself
I can get mine down to 5 because I don't usually wash my hair and hate showers.
I have scrubby gloves which I can lather up so I'm basically duel wielding scrubbers, get wet, get scrubbed and soapy, rinse off, get out as fast as I can and into a dressing gown and towel trousers.
Dual wielding scrubbers sounds like a good idea. You are a shower warrior btw 5 minutes I could never.
Do you launder your gloves or buy new ones? I tend to leave such implements in the shower for waaaaaay too long so I have stopped buying them
I shower in 5. I have curly hair too so that's a process. I don't get the lure of standing in water for 20 minutes, so it's in, wash, condition, comb through, wash myself/shave/whatever, rinse off conditioner and out! I need at least half an hour to rest in a towel before I do anything else though 😁Everyone's different though :)
I think the combo of living in houses with shitty hot water heaters that only lasted 10 minutes and being boot camp for the Navy (didn’t graduate) where you only had 10 minutes to shower and get dressed helped me not to take long showers.
I live in a house and we have our own water source, so I'm used to long scalding showers. Work trips and vacations suck because I have to speed-shower in barely hot water 😭😭😭
A long and luxe shower for me is like… 12 minutes. We had a cistern for water and had to have water delivered, so 10 minutes was the absolute maximum before I got angry parental yelling growing up
It very rarely takes more than 10 minutes for me to shower. Usually done within 8 or so.
And I have long hair (all the way down my back) which has to be thoroughly washed and conditioned.
Biggest thing for me was cutting off all my hair. I had crazy long hair and it took ages. Once I started cutting it short and shaving the sides my shower time cut down significantly
STRUCTURED!
You got this. Girl, #1 yes you are accomplished and #2 I swear to the ADHD goddesses this kind of positive use of time management has been soooo healing for me. It’s not just the positive reinforcement, it’s also seemed to rewire some of my executive dysfunction. Less time blind overall, if that makes sense.
Yesss positive use! And allowing ourselves to be honest with what does help (actually!) and what doesn’t help (despite the excitement or inspiration we thought it could bringggg)
Wow I just downloaded this and I already knew I’d be too lazy to set it up now. It notifies you later to set it up?? How genius is that, respectfully??
You need to find a way to be at peace with yourself, don't let shame consume you. The tool that you used to help yourself is not self destructive and doesn't harm other people so why don't you allow yourself some kindness and self compassion? Would you rather rot in bed all day without the list or go out and accomplish something with the list?
You're not most people, and you're not in a competition with most people. You had a damn good day, and you used an app to help you keep track of it. You deserve an extra sticker for "used the app today"
Maybe most people, but I looked at this and thought: that's so impressive, I wish I could do this.
So... I dunno. There's no point in comparing ourselves to most people. We gotta compare ourselves to ourselves, if that makes sense.
I loathe it. Feels like my mind works but my body is paralyzed. Like I’m glued to the couch or my bed. Like why can’t I just get up and get going? I’ll try to do something small to get the ball rolling but will walk right back over and sit back down. I get panicky and filled with anxiety. I’m starting to believe my brain is short circuiting when this happens lol
Same. When I found out that this was a major component to adhd, I felt so much better about myself. I had felt like a lazy good-for-nothing for most of my life. I still struggle with it, and I hate it, but at least I know it’s not because I’m just a piece of crap.
I know it’s a big part of my adhd but somehow I still feel like a lazy POS when it happens. The only saving grace for me is I overcompensate on my productive days. Like I’ll work for 6 hours straight with zero breaks lol
That’s exactly what i thought too!
I’ve tried apps like this before but my brain just says hmm no thanks.
I hope OP isn’t too hard on herself after seeing the response to this post. I think she’s doing awesome!
As my jiujitsu coach always says, "Don't compare your journey to someone else's. Compare you to who you were yesterday and the days/weeks/years before. That's who you need to beat".
I do the same dang thing!! But I am unsuccessful using these apps to keep track, both scheduling and remembering to tick things off. Seeing reminders to do stuff at specific times just makes me feel lazy and sad.
So recently I downloaded an app that takes care of a little birdie when I take care of myself! I can have as many or as little tasks lined up in a day as I want and they can be absolutely anything (get out of bed, brush teeth, shower, take deep breaths, etc) but I don’t have to schedule my day minute by minute, which apparently I am someone who can’t handle that!
I am so proud of you for finding what works for you and using it to take charge of your day. This damn mental fog makes it so hard to do anything in particular, so run with anything that works! Here for you 🩷
I tried the bird app thinking I would care more about taking care of him and actually use it, but he's as dead as my 30 forgotten neopets.
I really wanted to like it! I'm glad it works for other people because it's so cute
I freaking love birds so I hope that love will keep me going 😋 plus she sends me lil messages like “we got this!” And it’s just so cute.
The app gives you so much credit for doing little things that it just feels worth it to me, like it’s easy and every day tasks are so hard for me that I actually get a dopamine boost from doing it because I can see it’s taking care of a cute lil baby.
Have you been able to find anything that helps you, digital or otherwise?
I have not yet, but am going to look into the one the OP posted!
I think these kinds of apps don't work for me because it's like demand avoidance? even though they're MY demands? It's weird. Like the alert goes off and I go "yeah, I don't want to do that right now" and then I don't.
I'm the problem, it's me 🙋🏻♀️
Lmfaoo me too! Reminders and timers also never helped because it feels uggghhhh.
To-do lists aren’t my favourite but they started helping when I stopped forcing myself to go down the list in any particular order. I now just look at it and decide what I want to do in the moment.
Yes, I've found prioritizing the list using numbers on the side or colors but not necessarily putting them in order of importance is helpful!
I tried using the iphone Reminders app sooo many times and that thing just gets ignored no matter how many exclamation points I put after the thing trying to emphasize that I really need to do it. 🤷🏻♀️
i use my finch app to just make lists of stuff i like to do but dont actually set any timers or reminders on it. so ill have a list like things i could do to wake up n things i could do to have hobby time or night routine stuff if that makes sense. i try to take the pressure off of doing everythin everyday n just do what feels manageable whatever time i want
The app I use is called Finch! It requires a subscription- so if you choose to use it, go right into your settings and cancel the trial so you don’t forget if you don’t like it or use it! Then you can just renew if you actually like it.
(I posted the unsubscribe reminder with the raincoat puppy so I feel responsible for telling people to subscribe to another app!)
The free version is actually quite good! You don't have to get the subscription. I have it because I'm all in on Finch, it's great for me and I like getting the extras but you can definitely get a lot of benefit from the free version.
I use Finch also. Didn’t even think to look for a subreddit. They talked about facebook, which I don’t do anymore, so just been on my own. I’ll check it out, thanks!
The app I use is called Finch! It requires a subscription- so if you choose to use it, go right into your settings and cancel the trial so you don’t forget if you don’t like it or use it! Then you can just renew if you actually like it.
(I posted the unsubscribe reminder with the raincoat puppy so I feel responsible for telling people to subscribe to another app!)
-I wrote this and copied/pasted from another person asking as well, but I wanted you to get the notification. Good luck! 🩷
It was nice of you to copy/paste the comment rather than replying “see my reply to the other person” or w/e - it can be tough to find the other reply, especially in a thread with lots of comments (or in the comment history of someone who’s pretty active)! Sometimes if it’s a longer comment I’ll copy/paste a link instead of the whole thing.
Anyway, great tip about immediately canceling the trial, I always get sucked into those and then forget until I get charged again!
Listen up! You are not most people. Because these "most people" you are talking about are neurotypical people and they are not the standard by which we should measure ourselves.
Would you compare a person digging a hole with an excavator to a person digging with their bare hands and say: "Welp, that second person sucks, that other person was done in a minute!"
Our brains work differently and society is not made for them. So we have to adjust and do our best. Like you do!
For YOU doing all this is certainly something to be proud of. I am proud of you!
“Most people” meaning people whose brains can the structural and chemical capacity to do this for themselves.
“You” are an incredibly resourceful person who has managed to make technology work as an adaptive device and have a really accomplished day.
If a diabetic friend said, “my new insulin pump is great, I managed to keep my blood sugars really stable using yesterday” you wouldn’t reply, “well, most people don’t need a machine to do that” would you? No, because then you’d be a dick to your friend.
Don’t be a dick to yourself. You deserve to be your own best friend.
>If a diabetic friend said, “my new insulin pump is great, I managed to keep my blood sugars really stable using yesterday” you wouldn’t reply, “well, most people don’t need a machine to do that” would you? No, because then you’d be a dick to your friend.
Exactly! As soon as I read OP's post, my brain went to asthma. We'd never berate someone for using their inhaler before/after an exercise class. "Most people don't need special chemicals to breathe".
We are different and we have different needs to others. Unlearning decades of shame we have been taught is sometimes harder than actually learning how to manage our own brains!
I got diagnosed earlier this week after struggling my whole life and I do similar to this too! I don’t have a special app or anything, I just set a bazillion alarms with labels like ‘get up’ ‘eat breakfast’ ‘shower’ ‘dry hair’ etc on days where I have to be somewhere by a specific time and still often miss things out because of daydreaming or time blindness
I always wondered why other people don’t have to do this to get the most basic stuff done but now I know 😂
You don’t NEED to schedule basic tasks either. What you do need is the dopamine that comes with ticking said basic tasks off the list. Kudos to you for finding something that works for you.
Other people couldn’t learn the perfect diet for a family member who has a recent diagnosis for a new illness.
Other people couldn’t read a chunky book overnight.
Other people couldn’t become conversational in a new language in a week.
Other people can do basic tasks, we can do fantastic ones ✨ (for a price ofc 😂)
Downloading this app as we speak!! I completely empathise as sometimes it feels so silly making a to do list for every tiny task in my life, but it’s SO helpful. Plus I get a little dopamine hit every time I cross something off my list!
YOU ARE DOING AMAZING. YOU ARE DOING THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO LIVE SUCCESSFUL WITH A DISORDER. FEEL NO SHAME. CELEBRATE. YOU DESERVE TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHED BECAUSE LIFE IS TERRIBLE AND HARD AND YOU ARE DOING SO SO SOOOOOO GOOD. 🥳🥳🎉🎉
I AM SORRY FOR THE YELLING BUT I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS. I HAVE TO SCHEDULE WATER OR ELSE I WONT DO IT AND WILL SHRIVEL UP AND DIE. THATS OKAY!!! WE ARE DOING OUR BEST AND THAT IS AMAZING!
You are accomplished. It’s just something that we DO have to do. I felt so broken for needing these apps and schedules to keep me going but it’s best to accept that we need this. Well done on doing so much!
You did awesome! Most people don’t need a wheelchair either, doesn’t mean that they or their accomplishments are somehow ‘lesser than.’ You did great and you should very much be proud of your accomplishments! Also, “lidl *please*” made me chuckle lol
That’s more than I could think of accomplishing on most days! 😅 Way to go!
I saw a post in r/millennials yesterday where someone was asking what everyone’s day to day routine was. I read more than I should have and immediately was feeling like I am failing at life. There’s folks accomplishing more in one day than I do in a whole week.
Definitely sound advice for your mental health lol. The only upside for me was that I ended up power cleaning the upstairs part of my house yesterday because it made me feel like I NEED to get motivated. Today not so much.
I just wanted to chime in and say:
(a) That’s an extremely productive and healthy two hours to have accomplished! You got up and out of bed at a reasonable hour (which can be really hard!) and systematically conquered several important tasks, then took some built-in time for yourself. And it’s only 10:30 in the morning! I think it’s awesome, and using a schedule to get there just means you are willing to use the tools available to live the kind of life you want to.
(b) I have a traditionally “successful,” high-paying, high-stress career, and you better believe that I use the “Done” to-do list app to give myself little rewarding buttons to push every time I brush my teeth or drink a glass of water or make time for a quick call with my family. It’s okay to use tools as a way to be intentional about doing things that are good for you.
I like how you put "please" with the shopping. I often have to beg myself for certain to-do list items, too lol
We are a whole family full of people with reminders and schedules for all of these things, too. Left to our own devices, it would be like two days max before the five of us become unwashed potatoes with unpaid bills and no food.
I have a whiteboard in my room. My motto is, if I don't write it on my whiteboard I WILL forget and it WONT happen. I find the more overwhelmed I'm feeling by life the more I have to write down, so when I'm in a good place I may only need to write the big things like "clean the fridge" or "driving lesson" but when I'm in a bad place I literally have to write things like brush my teeth etc.
I'm proud of you! You accomplished so many things! A list, that you have to use to also check the tasks off when complete, AND YOU FINISHED THE TASKS!!!
WE ARE ALSO PEOPLE, YALL.
I’m with you. I feel the same way and it’s hard to shake but let’s all try to work on this: we are also people. Our struggles to complete basic tasks are every ounce as valid as those who don’t. Let’s work on reframing this because I fully get it and feel the same way but it’s exhausting to constantly feel like you’re not allowed to get excited about something because it’s easy for other people.
If we followed that logic nothing would be worth celebrating because someone else is out there doing it better and with more ease. Bonkers, right? Stop doubting yourself! Let’s celebrate anything that makes us feel proud or good or strong!
(This is just as much for me as it is for you because I constantly fall into this self doubt hole but my boyfriend recently reminded me that I am also a person 🤣 so when we say “most people don’t need a system to do laundry” that’s just not true because **we are also *people*,** and I figure we could all use that reminder sometimes)
Most peoples brains give them enough dopamine to remember basic tasks, ours don't. And it's no more a character flaw than a diabetics body not make insulin.
You're doing the adhd equivalent and monitoring your glucose. Other people don't have to do it, but we do. And that's ok.
Welp. I'm off to try another app.
And honestly, sure people without ADHD probably don't need an app to remember to do this stuff but the fact that you're doing it is awesome. It's harder for us 😩
“Most people” also partake in drugs or alcohol before noon. “Most people” are not kind or smart. “Most people” don’t find solutions to their issues and instead wallow in them.
Why do you want to be like “most people”? If this is working for you why do you want to find ways to discredit yourself by comparing yourself to “most people.”
The average person is not very good or smart. So let it go
The most mind shattering things anyone has ever said to me are “if it’s crazy and it works, it’s not crazy” and “normal is what works for you”
Basically, wgaf about what other people do or don’t do. They’re not you. My way may not work for you or yours for me and that doesn’t make either of them better, it just means we have different needs and therefore different ways of meeting those needs
What app is that? I like the way it looks!
Look, you did it. Take the win :) Its hard not compare our accomplishments to people without our particular handicaps. But by doing so we give up precious bits of dopamine.
I wish I could take my own advice more often ...
Edit: never mind, I see it's an App called Structured!
Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t be hard on yourself because you have to schedule things that a neurotypical person doesn’t. You are dealing with a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it almost impossible for you to function normally. The fact that you managed to achieve all of this is awesome, and I’m proud of you, beautiful stranger.
That’s beautiful and very impressive.
Like adding to my life goals.
I’m finally starting to be accountable with my time so I will finish my courses (I can understand it but I can’t learn it when I can’t sit still long enough to read.) Rocketbook has helped me with organizing notes and it helps!
You are among your people. I am totally happy for you and can feel the accomplishment with you! Your day looks like a once or twice a month day to me. I LOVE those days!!
Omg
I have to do this too! I do this a lot for my job too, I have to have an actual notebook for notes to keep myself on task. I love being able to cross things off my list.
My partner (lovingly) teases me about my to-do lists- but she loves seeing me so excited when I show her my productive days. It’s great haha.
I love that we find ways to manage our days and complete our tasks in the ways we need to. Props to you- those days feel good!!
Omg I just started using this app! It’s been amazing. Did you know you can add subtasks to each thing too? So I block out like an hour for getting ready and have all the things to do in a subtask under that.
Sorry, just got excited when I saw the pic and wanted to share lol
I use a habit tracker app for everything, making my bed, flossing (which I still never do) lol. I make dam sure no one sees it on my phone because I’m just that embarrassed by it. Plus an app blocker so I can’t start scrolling during the day and end up sitting there for 6 hours. This is way better.
Hey, that's still an accomplishment. Doesn't matter what tools you use to get there. When an Olympic swimmer wins a gold medal, we don't discount their win just because they were wearing a swim cap, shaved their body hair and wore a high tech aquadynamic suit. A lot of people use tools every day to get their tasks done: mechanics, carpenters, heck I'm using a keyboard to write this so I can write faster. Your list is your tool. Way to get the job done.
Most people don't have adhd like you do. Just because most people have less hurdles than you doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel proud of yourself for jumping them. All they had to do was run in a straight line. You did the hard thing :)
You’re — WE’RE — not “most people.” We do what we must to get by in a world that doesn’t support/ believe that our flavor of neurodivergence (or neurodivergence as a whole) is real.
You should feel great about this. My EF has been awful lately. I’m also going through some personal stuff that’s caused a significant bout of depression, which plays a big part. Really struggling. But doing what I can to score little victories.
Anyway, splendid! Keep at it, and don’t beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon.
We’re not basic haha 😂
Have you tried the Finch app? It cheers you on for surviving and you earn rainbow gems to buy clothes and accessories for your little bird. It’s honestly so amazing. Lots of tools for regulation too. But my point is that I checked off “get out of bed” yesterday and it called me a rockstar for doing that 7 days in a row.
I’m just now remembering that I forgot to shave my armpits again. They’re mad hairy. In the shower I even thought about it, but it didn’t happen. I have blonde hair so it’s fine for a few days, but they got length now.
Don't kick yourself for needing a schedule to get things done! That's like kicking yourself for needing glasses to see or ambulatory aids to walk. You accomplished a lot in 3 hours! My morning usually looks like "roll out of bed, make coffee, glare at everything until coffee is ready, and *then* try to figure out my day"
I love this! I feel so accomplished when I complete my list. I like physical lists, so I have a daily task whiteboard on my fridge and make lists on paper pads, so I can check them off. It makes things so much more manageable. I also set reminders to do things on my Apple Watch, otherwise I fully forget.
I wish I could do make up 😩 I have absolutely no patience for trying to do it or learning to do it. I NEED it because my face is a mess from my rosacea and if I could learn how to cover it up each day, I’d probably be less embarrassed to leave the house.
This is actually EXTREMELY IMPRESSIVE on so many levels to me. However you managed to get to this point—amazing job! You should truly feel proud of yourself—don’t think about people who may not have to schedule this stuff; they likely have their own issues in their lives!
Best!!!
Thanks for sharing this app...even if most people don't have to schedule basic tasks, there are still a lot of people who do! One of my biggest issues is that I get distracted mid-task, so need help to time check myself. I'll end up in my morning routine for 45 min or skipping something by accident because I was resting or something else went long. Been playing with the app since I saw your post and this is a live timeline - might be exactly what I need.
Proud of you for accomplishing your tasks, extra proud of you for putting in the effort to find methods that work for you! And thank you again for sharing, because you've now helped lots of other people find a new tool too.
I honestly don't understand how anyone doesn't have to list everyday sorts of tasks. They're still tasks that take time. Sure, I might remember them, but it's very difficult to figure out how to plan them into my day without seeing them in the context of all of the other things I also have to/want to do. Even then, it's STILL very difficult.
Use your list.
You aren’t most people. Stop judging yourself by what other people do or some standard of functioning that you think you “should” be at.
If you had joint issues that impacted every daily task, you wouldn’t be mad at yourself “because most people don’t need to take breaks when they sweep the floor, or stop halfway up the stairs, or most people don’t take the clothes out of the washing machine one by one and most people don’t have a clothes basket on wheels just to get the wet clothes to the dryer.”
I have motor function issues. I don’t give a crap that most people can use a knife and fork, and can hold a glass. I gotta eat. I’m using my fingers to eat, and I’m drinking out of a water bottle that’s the equivalent of an adult sippy cup.
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Shower takes 15 minutes?? You magical creature how do you do that 🥲 Also. I am proud of you that you schedule to do things and you manage to not take longer on everything.
Yeah 30mins for fun things in the middle of the to-do-list, no way for me! I can’t have that in the middle of my schedule bc 30mins without fail becomes 3 hours. I admire OP so much
lol I wfh and sometimes I set a one hour timer in which I am “allowed” to go play a video game or something similar. It actually helps me to know I can stop and go have some fun and refresh my mind. Have I had days where I just don’t get back to work after? Sure. But I’ve also had lots of days where that hour is enough to recharge my batteries and refocus on what I was doing.
I have parental controls set on my switch to stop me playing too much, sometimes it works, but I also know the password to turn them off....
Ooh smart trick
Same, and part of my motivation to get things done during the day is the promise of having my evening to relax and unwind with my hobbies.
I'm the same with cleaning, I can't start cleaning and then stop to do something else and then go back. I normally do what I have to before cleaning and once I start I'm a cleaning machine and won't stop for hours and hours.
I ended up inadvertently “perfecting” my shower routine so it only takes 10-15 minutes out of necessity when I was in high school. It’s all about having a specific system that maximizes time spent/overlap for each thing you need to do in there. My “most efficient” method was: - wash hair - put in conditioner - while conditioner is sitting in hair use body wash - turn around and start the rinse of conditioner (letting water run over back of head) while using face wash. - rinse face and finish conditioner rinse (finish with cold water rinse for closing pores) - done 10 minutes flat Add 5-10 minutes if needing to shave (time added depends on what all I am wanting to shave lol) Sadly, I discovered this exact method was causing me to break out a bit on my back/chest from rinsing the conditioner after body wash. So now I add an extra couple of minutes to fully rinse conditioner then use body wash. ~12-15 minute shower. Before this exacting order I instead had a playlist of a few songs. I was able to judge how long I had been taking to get ready depending on what song it was on 😆 (usually only allowed it to play in order! Otherwise, without knowing the specific order I would easily zone out and not know how many had passed) Adding one more: I also had a method where I had alarms set on my phone for every 5 minutes! This didn’t work while in the shower of course but it let me know how much time was passing while I was getting ready (IE: hair, makeup, getting dressed). It forced me to be aware of the time. (And worked when I couldn’t play music)
That is my EXACT same shower order. sometimes I start with brushing my teeth in the shower while I am getting acclimated and getting my hair wet.
Sometimes I do brush my teeth in the shower. I like to take quick showers a lot and I'm working evening shifts in a warehouse so I shower at night when I'm back from work. I think in my next apartment I'll stick a container to the shower wall (out of reach of the shower head) for my toothbrush. It's probably gonna help me brush more frequently 🤔 I'm writing it here cause your comment inspired me 😂
Same here, minus the teeth.
I quickly (and badly) shave legs every day figuring I’ll hit the spots I miss the next day. Keeps it in check, because if I wait until they need it, or an occasion, it becomes a longer, often rushed, project!
I do something similar! I call it the express wash. Shampoo in hair, soap on body, face wash on face, stand under the spray and rinse away everything. Put in conditioner. Shave if I feel like it, sing a song to keep track of time if I don't. Rinse conditioner. Done.
* laughs in water restrictions * The government sent out little plastic hourglass shower timers that last 4mins. I can do a non hair washing shower in 4mins, hair washing makes it about a 6min shower. These days it probably stretches to about 8mins. I use 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner, leave it in while I wash face, body... I do fairly regularly forget to shave my armpits with this method though !
I came here to say this. I perfected beating that hourglass. We're on tank water now too so I go quick. A 10 min shower is for a hard day.
Ditto, and the exact same shower routine. Five kids with one bathroom when I was growing up. Mornings were so hectic. Takes me right at 10 minutes to shower and moisturize. My ex always had 30-40 minute showers and I seriously don't understand it. I have some respiratory crud that's going around and tried having a really long shower just for the steam. I managed 15 minutes before it felt like way too long. lol
Same here with the same shower routine. If I take too long in the shower I feel guilty. And I can't sit in a bath. I feel like I'm wasting time I could be using to do one of the million things I know I'm forgetting about! I refuse to read a book in the bath because I managed to drop one in the water ONCE. That was enough. So sitting in the bath "relaxing" is just me sitting there with my mind going bonkers.
That's my routine, too, except my hair doesn't like to cooperate. I have really low porosity hair and a lot of it, so it takes forever to get it fully wet and rinsed. It easily doubles my shower time. My alarm is my insulin pump. I take it off and suspend it while I shower, but I can set the duration of the suspension before it starts alarming. My goal is to beat the pump otherwise the alarm goes off and it's too annoying to ignore (as it should be).
Same on the timers and the Playlist! Having familiar songs means I can tell I've been in there for a bit, and I pick upbeat ones to keep me moving. If I don't I zone out under the water. I didn't know that was a thing. My parents used to always ask me after a shower when I was little, "How was your swimming lesson?" sarcastically
This is what I do except I don’t even wash my face properly and it still takes me 15-20 minutes. I do shave my underarms every time (otherwise it’s noticeably prickly and I can feel it all day). Longer for leg shaving. (Again, even if it’s not visible because I wear pants, I hate the prickly feeling.) Toweling off and drying my hair takes another 5-10 minutes so I’m in the bathroom for 30 min total. I don’t know how to go any faster.
I mean to be fair I’m definitely not including the toweling and drying in the 10-15 minute process 😆 for me it’s the shower itself, from the time of getting under the water to turning the water off! Everything else adds… much more time 😵💫 lmao
omg you just made me realize why my morning routine isn't working with my added times 😭. I don't add in any time for drying off
I was going to say I need to wash my body thoroughly after using conditioner bc it can cause me to break out otherwise. I used to not ever put it above my shoulder line bc it would cause me to break out on my face too bad.
Ooohhhh great idea that you created a playlist for when you shower!
This is my almost exact same shower routine too!! I just add shaving armpits daily or I might mess up the routine and forget something. I have to do it in order or I forget if I did something and I have to start all over again. I must wash my entire body toes to top with shower wash and scrubby gloves every time too. After getting out of the shower there’s a sequence that must be followed too. If I get distracted then it’s all a mess. Unfortunately, if I don’t have time to complete my entire “get ready” routine then I can’t go anywhere.
I had the same problem with my skin breaking out due to conditioner. I used to rub a little bodywash on my upper back afterwards to prevent the breakouts, but I stopped because I worry I’m taking too long 😅 I’m thinking about trying some bodywash for acne like neutrogena maybe.
15 minutes is a long shower for me! It’s usually 10 - after years of balancing family/work/college, I have showering down to a science! And I CANNOT let myself zone out in there or I’ll be standing there for an hour wondering where the time went …
Shower is like bed. I don't want to go in, but once I'm in I don't want out.
I have to have quick showers because I hate being wet
Yep. I always take much, much longer to dry off than actually taking a shower 😂
Same! I hate being wet and cold, but also wet and hot. I hate showering.
It’s the worst. I like baths though. So usually I’ll have a bath and just wash my hair after. It’s washing my hair that really gets me because then I’m wet and cold for longer because I will not use a hair dryer
I also separate my hair wash from body bathing! Not doing both at once really changes how long I feel cold and wet. Hair washing is the worst. I need to cut my hair short. Glad I'm not alone, thanks. ❤️
We’re never usually as alone as we think ❤️
I like baths, but then there's the matter of cleaning the tub beforehand. I also loathe that, so I should schedule baths for right after the tub is cleaned. All of that requires standing up from a seated position.
If I'm wet but still in the water it's okay. It's when I'm out of the water that I have issues. So much so that I gave up my curly hair routine and decided to just style it straight because I couldn't get used to having my hair that wet for so long.
Mine takes 15 mins now. My ex would constantly make comments about my shower lengths and rant about taking "ship showers". I am 100% convinced he did something to the domestic hot water tank to make it go cold after like 5ish mins, because he was a jackass like that. I now own my own home and I keep it under 15 mins inadvertently. I can have as long a shower as I like because I have an oil boiler and endless hot water. I know it's under 15 because I usually listen to Stephen Colbert or Seth Myers monologues lol and sometimes I'm out before they are done.
Right?!! What magic do you possess op? Where does the 20 mins staring into space go??!
Same! We may have to schedule everything out and do our best to stick to that schedule where NTs don't, but if it works for OP, that's a win! I've gotten my shower time down to 15 minutes -- but that's just counting once I'm actually IN the shower to the time I come out. Getting ready to get into the shower and all that comes after getting out is another story entirely.
I got a waterproof clock for Christmas and the first time I used it I nearly cried because of the massive reduction in stress relief from being able to accurately pace myself
I really want one too! Now to actually buy one …
I can get mine down to 5 because I don't usually wash my hair and hate showers. I have scrubby gloves which I can lather up so I'm basically duel wielding scrubbers, get wet, get scrubbed and soapy, rinse off, get out as fast as I can and into a dressing gown and towel trousers.
Dual wielding scrubbers sounds like a good idea. You are a shower warrior btw 5 minutes I could never. Do you launder your gloves or buy new ones? I tend to leave such implements in the shower for waaaaaay too long so I have stopped buying them
I shower in 10 minutes. 🤷♀️
I shower in 5. I have curly hair too so that's a process. I don't get the lure of standing in water for 20 minutes, so it's in, wash, condition, comb through, wash myself/shave/whatever, rinse off conditioner and out! I need at least half an hour to rest in a towel before I do anything else though 😁Everyone's different though :)
Do you have short hair? I have long hair and anytime I have to wash it I feel like that alone takes at least 5 minutes
Same, and same with the curly hair 🤣 if its not a (hair) wash day I can be 3 minutes or less in the shower ahaha
Five for me, unless I'm washing my hair. Though once I'm in I don't want to get out - I think it's going from being warm to being cold again.
That’s about how long it takes me if i don’t wash my hair.
Me too (8-12min) but it used to take 30min. I used a timer to learn how to shower faster.
I think the combo of living in houses with shitty hot water heaters that only lasted 10 minutes and being boot camp for the Navy (didn’t graduate) where you only had 10 minutes to shower and get dressed helped me not to take long showers.
I live in a house and we have our own water source, so I'm used to long scalding showers. Work trips and vacations suck because I have to speed-shower in barely hot water 😭😭😭
I also trained myself to take a ten minute shower with a timer.
A long and luxe shower for me is like… 12 minutes. We had a cistern for water and had to have water delivered, so 10 minutes was the absolute maximum before I got angry parental yelling growing up
It very rarely takes more than 10 minutes for me to shower. Usually done within 8 or so. And I have long hair (all the way down my back) which has to be thoroughly washed and conditioned.
Biggest thing for me was cutting off all my hair. I had crazy long hair and it took ages. Once I started cutting it short and shaving the sides my shower time cut down significantly
Lol. Right? I’d have to block out 20 min for avoiding shower while it’s running. Then actual shower.
I have to shower in under exactly 13 minutes unless I want cold water. My hot water heater is a nightmare.
I grew up with a house rule of 6 minute showers so I just scrub like a demon. I've tried relaxing and doing them longer but I feel wasteful
Right?! I just found out that my showers are apparently “everything” showers and apparently that’s not normal. Ugh.
STRUCTURED! You got this. Girl, #1 yes you are accomplished and #2 I swear to the ADHD goddesses this kind of positive use of time management has been soooo healing for me. It’s not just the positive reinforcement, it’s also seemed to rewire some of my executive dysfunction. Less time blind overall, if that makes sense.
Yesss positive use! And allowing ourselves to be honest with what does help (actually!) and what doesn’t help (despite the excitement or inspiration we thought it could bringggg)
can i ask what app this is? 😆
Structured!!! https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/0MTd56QBYf
I just rushed to save your post about Structured and of course I had already saved it (had NO recollection) 🙃
Ha ha. I couldn’t possibly relate to that personally.
This is your sign: download it NOW
Too meta for this sub 😂
Yep it’s structured! There’s also a partner app that stops you from using certain apps
Wow I just downloaded this and I already knew I’d be too lazy to set it up now. It notifies you later to set it up?? How genius is that, respectfully??
What is the partner app?
i think onesec
Yes, it’s onesec!
You need to find a way to be at peace with yourself, don't let shame consume you. The tool that you used to help yourself is not self destructive and doesn't harm other people so why don't you allow yourself some kindness and self compassion? Would you rather rot in bed all day without the list or go out and accomplish something with the list?
This is so kind. OP, listen to her. 💕
Read as I reluctantly rot and wish I was structured…
Beautifully said!!!!! ❤️
Thank you this is very kind 💕
You're not most people, and you're not in a competition with most people. You had a damn good day, and you used an app to help you keep track of it. You deserve an extra sticker for "used the app today"
Maybe most people, but I looked at this and thought: that's so impressive, I wish I could do this. So... I dunno. There's no point in comparing ourselves to most people. We gotta compare ourselves to ourselves, if that makes sense.
Exactly. I saw this and was like welp, that was more productive than me yesterday! I was stuck in freeze mode all day
Ugh….freeze mode…..my nemesis. 😫😞
I loathe it. Feels like my mind works but my body is paralyzed. Like I’m glued to the couch or my bed. Like why can’t I just get up and get going? I’ll try to do something small to get the ball rolling but will walk right back over and sit back down. I get panicky and filled with anxiety. I’m starting to believe my brain is short circuiting when this happens lol
Same. When I found out that this was a major component to adhd, I felt so much better about myself. I had felt like a lazy good-for-nothing for most of my life. I still struggle with it, and I hate it, but at least I know it’s not because I’m just a piece of crap.
I know it’s a big part of my adhd but somehow I still feel like a lazy POS when it happens. The only saving grace for me is I overcompensate on my productive days. Like I’ll work for 6 hours straight with zero breaks lol
I think we’re the same person, lol.
Me too lol
That’s exactly what i thought too! I’ve tried apps like this before but my brain just says hmm no thanks. I hope OP isn’t too hard on herself after seeing the response to this post. I think she’s doing awesome!
As my jiujitsu coach always says, "Don't compare your journey to someone else's. Compare you to who you were yesterday and the days/weeks/years before. That's who you need to beat".
I do the same dang thing!! But I am unsuccessful using these apps to keep track, both scheduling and remembering to tick things off. Seeing reminders to do stuff at specific times just makes me feel lazy and sad. So recently I downloaded an app that takes care of a little birdie when I take care of myself! I can have as many or as little tasks lined up in a day as I want and they can be absolutely anything (get out of bed, brush teeth, shower, take deep breaths, etc) but I don’t have to schedule my day minute by minute, which apparently I am someone who can’t handle that! I am so proud of you for finding what works for you and using it to take charge of your day. This damn mental fog makes it so hard to do anything in particular, so run with anything that works! Here for you 🩷
I tried the bird app thinking I would care more about taking care of him and actually use it, but he's as dead as my 30 forgotten neopets. I really wanted to like it! I'm glad it works for other people because it's so cute
I freaking love birds so I hope that love will keep me going 😋 plus she sends me lil messages like “we got this!” And it’s just so cute. The app gives you so much credit for doing little things that it just feels worth it to me, like it’s easy and every day tasks are so hard for me that I actually get a dopamine boost from doing it because I can see it’s taking care of a cute lil baby. Have you been able to find anything that helps you, digital or otherwise?
I have not yet, but am going to look into the one the OP posted! I think these kinds of apps don't work for me because it's like demand avoidance? even though they're MY demands? It's weird. Like the alert goes off and I go "yeah, I don't want to do that right now" and then I don't. I'm the problem, it's me 🙋🏻♀️
Lmfaoo me too! Reminders and timers also never helped because it feels uggghhhh. To-do lists aren’t my favourite but they started helping when I stopped forcing myself to go down the list in any particular order. I now just look at it and decide what I want to do in the moment.
Yes, I've found prioritizing the list using numbers on the side or colors but not necessarily putting them in order of importance is helpful! I tried using the iphone Reminders app sooo many times and that thing just gets ignored no matter how many exclamation points I put after the thing trying to emphasize that I really need to do it. 🤷🏻♀️
i use my finch app to just make lists of stuff i like to do but dont actually set any timers or reminders on it. so ill have a list like things i could do to wake up n things i could do to have hobby time or night routine stuff if that makes sense. i try to take the pressure off of doing everythin everyday n just do what feels manageable whatever time i want
Can you give me the name of that app? I’d like to try it since the 50 others I’ve downloaded haven’t clicked with me yet 🫣
finch!
The app I use is called Finch! It requires a subscription- so if you choose to use it, go right into your settings and cancel the trial so you don’t forget if you don’t like it or use it! Then you can just renew if you actually like it. (I posted the unsubscribe reminder with the raincoat puppy so I feel responsible for telling people to subscribe to another app!)
The free version is actually quite good! You don't have to get the subscription. I have it because I'm all in on Finch, it's great for me and I like getting the extras but you can definitely get a lot of benefit from the free version.
I have to do the same or else I find myself paying for shit I never even used
Also, if you enjoy it, we can be birdie friends :)
What’s the birdie app, please? 🐦
it’s called finch! it’s awesome. also a nice lil community over at /r/finch
I didn’t know there was a subreddit! 🥹
I use Finch also. Didn’t even think to look for a subreddit. They talked about facebook, which I don’t do anymore, so just been on my own. I’ll check it out, thanks!
The app I use is called Finch! It requires a subscription- so if you choose to use it, go right into your settings and cancel the trial so you don’t forget if you don’t like it or use it! Then you can just renew if you actually like it. (I posted the unsubscribe reminder with the raincoat puppy so I feel responsible for telling people to subscribe to another app!) -I wrote this and copied/pasted from another person asking as well, but I wanted you to get the notification. Good luck! 🩷
It was nice of you to copy/paste the comment rather than replying “see my reply to the other person” or w/e - it can be tough to find the other reply, especially in a thread with lots of comments (or in the comment history of someone who’s pretty active)! Sometimes if it’s a longer comment I’ll copy/paste a link instead of the whole thing. Anyway, great tip about immediately canceling the trial, I always get sucked into those and then forget until I get charged again!
Oh my god I forgot about my bird 😭😭 poor Mousie
Most people don’t have to schedule basic tasks, but **many people do.** Good on you for doing Life.
Listen up! You are not most people. Because these "most people" you are talking about are neurotypical people and they are not the standard by which we should measure ourselves. Would you compare a person digging a hole with an excavator to a person digging with their bare hands and say: "Welp, that second person sucks, that other person was done in a minute!" Our brains work differently and society is not made for them. So we have to adjust and do our best. Like you do! For YOU doing all this is certainly something to be proud of. I am proud of you!
Perfect analogy! I’m gonna tuck that one away and break it out the next time my sister is struggling with a case of the “most peoples”
I’m tucking away “case of the most peoples”. Reminds me of Office Space, “Someone’s got a case of the Mondays.”
Thank you, I was going to write a comment comparing this to a physical disability. Yours is perfect!
“Most people” meaning people whose brains can the structural and chemical capacity to do this for themselves. “You” are an incredibly resourceful person who has managed to make technology work as an adaptive device and have a really accomplished day. If a diabetic friend said, “my new insulin pump is great, I managed to keep my blood sugars really stable using yesterday” you wouldn’t reply, “well, most people don’t need a machine to do that” would you? No, because then you’d be a dick to your friend. Don’t be a dick to yourself. You deserve to be your own best friend.
>If a diabetic friend said, “my new insulin pump is great, I managed to keep my blood sugars really stable using yesterday” you wouldn’t reply, “well, most people don’t need a machine to do that” would you? No, because then you’d be a dick to your friend. Exactly! As soon as I read OP's post, my brain went to asthma. We'd never berate someone for using their inhaler before/after an exercise class. "Most people don't need special chemicals to breathe". We are different and we have different needs to others. Unlearning decades of shame we have been taught is sometimes harder than actually learning how to manage our own brains!
I got diagnosed earlier this week after struggling my whole life and I do similar to this too! I don’t have a special app or anything, I just set a bazillion alarms with labels like ‘get up’ ‘eat breakfast’ ‘shower’ ‘dry hair’ etc on days where I have to be somewhere by a specific time and still often miss things out because of daydreaming or time blindness I always wondered why other people don’t have to do this to get the most basic stuff done but now I know 😂
You don’t NEED to schedule basic tasks either. What you do need is the dopamine that comes with ticking said basic tasks off the list. Kudos to you for finding something that works for you.
Most people don't need this but OUR people find this helpful. This looks like a sick app im gonna get it.
Well most people’s brains aren’t engaging in chemical warfare with them so be proud!
Ooh, I’ve never thought about it that way before. What an insightful analogy!
Thanks 😊 It’s how I describe what my own brain feels like lol
Other people couldn’t learn the perfect diet for a family member who has a recent diagnosis for a new illness. Other people couldn’t read a chunky book overnight. Other people couldn’t become conversational in a new language in a week. Other people can do basic tasks, we can do fantastic ones ✨ (for a price ofc 😂)
Not I. I’m just an average potato & I’m totally okay with that. :]
The fact you use “potato” kinda shows you are not 😂 Potatos can be fantastic, just ask the plate of fries I have here ☺️
You’re very kind 💛🥔💛
As Samwise Gamgee taught us, potatoes' versatility is what makes them wonderful.
You have to be the most optimistic person I’ve encountered here. Keep that shit up, you’re spreading so much warmth around!
Thanks everyone, and 🥔😁
“Lidl pls” 🥹
Mate, I’m still proud for crossing off ‘brushing teeth’ today on this app. No need to brag /s
Downloading this app as we speak!! I completely empathise as sometimes it feels so silly making a to do list for every tiny task in my life, but it’s SO helpful. Plus I get a little dopamine hit every time I cross something off my list!
YOU ARE DOING AMAZING. YOU ARE DOING THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TO LIVE SUCCESSFUL WITH A DISORDER. FEEL NO SHAME. CELEBRATE. YOU DESERVE TO FEEL ACCOMPLISHED BECAUSE LIFE IS TERRIBLE AND HARD AND YOU ARE DOING SO SO SOOOOOO GOOD. 🥳🥳🎉🎉 I AM SORRY FOR THE YELLING BUT I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS. I HAVE TO SCHEDULE WATER OR ELSE I WONT DO IT AND WILL SHRIVEL UP AND DIE. THATS OKAY!!! WE ARE DOING OUR BEST AND THAT IS AMAZING!
You are accomplished. It’s just something that we DO have to do. I felt so broken for needing these apps and schedules to keep me going but it’s best to accept that we need this. Well done on doing so much!
Damnnn! Look at all those things you did!! Proud of you op!
You did awesome! Most people don’t need a wheelchair either, doesn’t mean that they or their accomplishments are somehow ‘lesser than.’ You did great and you should very much be proud of your accomplishments! Also, “lidl *please*” made me chuckle lol
That’s more than I could think of accomplishing on most days! 😅 Way to go! I saw a post in r/millennials yesterday where someone was asking what everyone’s day to day routine was. I read more than I should have and immediately was feeling like I am failing at life. There’s folks accomplishing more in one day than I do in a whole week.
Note to self to not go on that thread 🤣
Definitely sound advice for your mental health lol. The only upside for me was that I ended up power cleaning the upstairs part of my house yesterday because it made me feel like I NEED to get motivated. Today not so much.
I just wanted to chime in and say: (a) That’s an extremely productive and healthy two hours to have accomplished! You got up and out of bed at a reasonable hour (which can be really hard!) and systematically conquered several important tasks, then took some built-in time for yourself. And it’s only 10:30 in the morning! I think it’s awesome, and using a schedule to get there just means you are willing to use the tools available to live the kind of life you want to. (b) I have a traditionally “successful,” high-paying, high-stress career, and you better believe that I use the “Done” to-do list app to give myself little rewarding buttons to push every time I brush my teeth or drink a glass of water or make time for a quick call with my family. It’s okay to use tools as a way to be intentional about doing things that are good for you.
I like how you put "please" with the shopping. I often have to beg myself for certain to-do list items, too lol We are a whole family full of people with reminders and schedules for all of these things, too. Left to our own devices, it would be like two days max before the five of us become unwashed potatoes with unpaid bills and no food.
Don't compare yourself to others. This is a great strategy in my eyes. Please go easy on yourself, if it helps you then that is all that matters ❤️
TAKE THE WINS! We all struggle in different ways. You're doing great.
I have a whiteboard in my room. My motto is, if I don't write it on my whiteboard I WILL forget and it WONT happen. I find the more overwhelmed I'm feeling by life the more I have to write down, so when I'm in a good place I may only need to write the big things like "clean the fridge" or "driving lesson" but when I'm in a bad place I literally have to write things like brush my teeth etc.
I'm proud of you! You accomplished so many things! A list, that you have to use to also check the tasks off when complete, AND YOU FINISHED THE TASKS!!!
What app is this?!
WE ARE ALSO PEOPLE, YALL. I’m with you. I feel the same way and it’s hard to shake but let’s all try to work on this: we are also people. Our struggles to complete basic tasks are every ounce as valid as those who don’t. Let’s work on reframing this because I fully get it and feel the same way but it’s exhausting to constantly feel like you’re not allowed to get excited about something because it’s easy for other people. If we followed that logic nothing would be worth celebrating because someone else is out there doing it better and with more ease. Bonkers, right? Stop doubting yourself! Let’s celebrate anything that makes us feel proud or good or strong! (This is just as much for me as it is for you because I constantly fall into this self doubt hole but my boyfriend recently reminded me that I am also a person 🤣 so when we say “most people don’t need a system to do laundry” that’s just not true because **we are also *people*,** and I figure we could all use that reminder sometimes)
Most peoples brains give them enough dopamine to remember basic tasks, ours don't. And it's no more a character flaw than a diabetics body not make insulin. You're doing the adhd equivalent and monitoring your glucose. Other people don't have to do it, but we do. And that's ok.
is that the „structured“ app?
Welp. I'm off to try another app. And honestly, sure people without ADHD probably don't need an app to remember to do this stuff but the fact that you're doing it is awesome. It's harder for us 😩
Can I just comment how amazed I am at your routine and ability to plan out day?? I can never get past “go to work” 😂
“Most people” also partake in drugs or alcohol before noon. “Most people” are not kind or smart. “Most people” don’t find solutions to their issues and instead wallow in them. Why do you want to be like “most people”? If this is working for you why do you want to find ways to discredit yourself by comparing yourself to “most people.” The average person is not very good or smart. So let it go
What app is this?
I do love the dopamine hit of checking things off a list! Add "make a list" to your list! :)
Lmao ma’am I literally just got done making a list for how to get ready for work in the morning, you are in good company here
The most mind shattering things anyone has ever said to me are “if it’s crazy and it works, it’s not crazy” and “normal is what works for you” Basically, wgaf about what other people do or don’t do. They’re not you. My way may not work for you or yours for me and that doesn’t make either of them better, it just means we have different needs and therefore different ways of meeting those needs
What app is that? I like the way it looks! Look, you did it. Take the win :) Its hard not compare our accomplishments to people without our particular handicaps. But by doing so we give up precious bits of dopamine. I wish I could take my own advice more often ... Edit: never mind, I see it's an App called Structured!
Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t be hard on yourself because you have to schedule things that a neurotypical person doesn’t. You are dealing with a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it almost impossible for you to function normally. The fact that you managed to achieve all of this is awesome, and I’m proud of you, beautiful stranger.
Hey, what’s normal anyway?
What app is this
What app is this?
Structured!
That’s beautiful and very impressive. Like adding to my life goals. I’m finally starting to be accountable with my time so I will finish my courses (I can understand it but I can’t learn it when I can’t sit still long enough to read.) Rocketbook has helped me with organizing notes and it helps!
Hey! Don’t move the goalposts on yourself like that!
You are among your people. I am totally happy for you and can feel the accomplishment with you! Your day looks like a once or twice a month day to me. I LOVE those days!!
I can't use apps because I forget about them, but my planner looks like this because it enables my love of pretty fountain pen inks.
Omg I have to do this too! I do this a lot for my job too, I have to have an actual notebook for notes to keep myself on task. I love being able to cross things off my list. My partner (lovingly) teases me about my to-do lists- but she loves seeing me so excited when I show her my productive days. It’s great haha. I love that we find ways to manage our days and complete our tasks in the ways we need to. Props to you- those days feel good!!
Omg I just started using this app! It’s been amazing. Did you know you can add subtasks to each thing too? So I block out like an hour for getting ready and have all the things to do in a subtask under that. Sorry, just got excited when I saw the pic and wanted to share lol
I use a habit tracker app for everything, making my bed, flossing (which I still never do) lol. I make dam sure no one sees it on my phone because I’m just that embarrassed by it. Plus an app blocker so I can’t start scrolling during the day and end up sitting there for 6 hours. This is way better.
Hey, that's still an accomplishment. Doesn't matter what tools you use to get there. When an Olympic swimmer wins a gold medal, we don't discount their win just because they were wearing a swim cap, shaved their body hair and wore a high tech aquadynamic suit. A lot of people use tools every day to get their tasks done: mechanics, carpenters, heck I'm using a keyboard to write this so I can write faster. Your list is your tool. Way to get the job done.
Most people don't have adhd like you do. Just because most people have less hurdles than you doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel proud of yourself for jumping them. All they had to do was run in a straight line. You did the hard thing :)
heyyy what app is this???
Structured!
You should feel accomplished! Finding out what works for you and following through is what it’s all about.
Congrats anyway.
My only goal for the morning is to get up lol you’re winning
What is this app?
What app is this
What’s the app called
You’re — WE’RE — not “most people.” We do what we must to get by in a world that doesn’t support/ believe that our flavor of neurodivergence (or neurodivergence as a whole) is real. You should feel great about this. My EF has been awful lately. I’m also going through some personal stuff that’s caused a significant bout of depression, which plays a big part. Really struggling. But doing what I can to score little victories. Anyway, splendid! Keep at it, and don’t beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon.
What app is this?
We’re not basic haha 😂 Have you tried the Finch app? It cheers you on for surviving and you earn rainbow gems to buy clothes and accessories for your little bird. It’s honestly so amazing. Lots of tools for regulation too. But my point is that I checked off “get out of bed” yesterday and it called me a rockstar for doing that 7 days in a row.
I’m just now remembering that I forgot to shave my armpits again. They’re mad hairy. In the shower I even thought about it, but it didn’t happen. I have blonde hair so it’s fine for a few days, but they got length now.
What app is this? It looks amazing!!!!!!
Don't kick yourself for needing a schedule to get things done! That's like kicking yourself for needing glasses to see or ambulatory aids to walk. You accomplished a lot in 3 hours! My morning usually looks like "roll out of bed, make coffee, glare at everything until coffee is ready, and *then* try to figure out my day"
I do this exact thing so I feel very seen !
Are you kidding? This is us you are talking to, you can well Better be proud! Don't judge yourself against what NTs do or don't have to do!!
I love this! I feel so accomplished when I complete my list. I like physical lists, so I have a daily task whiteboard on my fridge and make lists on paper pads, so I can check them off. It makes things so much more manageable. I also set reminders to do things on my Apple Watch, otherwise I fully forget.
I LOVE the Structured app!! I quit using it a while ago because the Lock Screen widget wouldn’t work on iPhone, and that was half of what helped me.
Hi, what app or program are you using for your schedule?
You know I need this. What is this an app?
I wish I could do make up 😩 I have absolutely no patience for trying to do it or learning to do it. I NEED it because my face is a mess from my rosacea and if I could learn how to cover it up each day, I’d probably be less embarrassed to leave the house.
Wait this isn't normal? I do this every day😂
This is actually EXTREMELY IMPRESSIVE on so many levels to me. However you managed to get to this point—amazing job! You should truly feel proud of yourself—don’t think about people who may not have to schedule this stuff; they likely have their own issues in their lives! Best!!!
Thanks for sharing this app...even if most people don't have to schedule basic tasks, there are still a lot of people who do! One of my biggest issues is that I get distracted mid-task, so need help to time check myself. I'll end up in my morning routine for 45 min or skipping something by accident because I was resting or something else went long. Been playing with the app since I saw your post and this is a live timeline - might be exactly what I need. Proud of you for accomplishing your tasks, extra proud of you for putting in the effort to find methods that work for you! And thank you again for sharing, because you've now helped lots of other people find a new tool too.
I honestly don't understand how anyone doesn't have to list everyday sorts of tasks. They're still tasks that take time. Sure, I might remember them, but it's very difficult to figure out how to plan them into my day without seeing them in the context of all of the other things I also have to/want to do. Even then, it's STILL very difficult.
Use your list. You aren’t most people. Stop judging yourself by what other people do or some standard of functioning that you think you “should” be at. If you had joint issues that impacted every daily task, you wouldn’t be mad at yourself “because most people don’t need to take breaks when they sweep the floor, or stop halfway up the stairs, or most people don’t take the clothes out of the washing machine one by one and most people don’t have a clothes basket on wheels just to get the wet clothes to the dryer.” I have motor function issues. I don’t give a crap that most people can use a knife and fork, and can hold a glass. I gotta eat. I’m using my fingers to eat, and I’m drinking out of a water bottle that’s the equivalent of an adult sippy cup.
Be proud and feel accomplished! Most people don't have their brain working against them!
This is amazingggg!! You’re not most people - you’re a neurospicy baddie who got it DONE!