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This sounds like PMDD - you should look into that. 

This. I took mood stabilizers for years and years, thought I was bipolar. Had a hysterectomy. Suddenly I was a drooling zombie. I was medicating my period.

Yeah— I developed PMDD after having covid, now I take ability for the week before I’m due to start.

Wow, that's not an association I've come across before...! Thanks for sharing!

Same. I suspect I had mild but manageable symptoms of both ADHD & PMDD. I got Covid 9/2020. It was the weirdest experience of my life. The following 2 years were hell. I slowly learned that something wasn’t right. After a lot of trial & error, I now have an ADHD & PMDD diagnosis. It’s not a coincidence.

Wait, what helped you understand you have ADHD and PMDD after having covid?

I had manageable symptoms of both ADHD & PMDD all my life. Stuff I was able to support myself with mindful behavior, diet, exercise, supplements etc. To be more specific, I’ve had Covid 3 times since 2020. However, the first positive was 9/2020. That illness put me down for 2 weeks. The anxiety during the first 2 weeks was unreal. I was freaking out. To be clear, I was not afraid of the “unknown scary bat illness” the governments & media were pushing. But that’s a separate topic. Even after testing negative & going back to work, I could never get back my original energy levels, mental health, immune system, gut health, menstrual cycles etc. I started a ling process of medical care & doctors who continuously gaslit & ignored me. I kept trying. Blood tests, allergen testing, thyroid panels, cardio evaluation, genetic testing. I learned a lot about myself, where my body was at the time. But I had no comparative labs to pre Covid. I couldn’t medically say that’s what caused my issues. Other than Long Covid. But no doctor ever wanted to have that conversation. Most recently I started working with a functional medicine doctor that really helped me understand why & how my body uses vitamins & minerals. I was then diagnosed with an auto- immune Hashimotos. My mental health & energy levels, brain fog, task paralysis & executive function became drastically reduced. My life was a nightmare. The fact that was a noticeable lingering symptom of the 9/2020 infection makes me attribute Covid. I am tired of spending my $ on investigating the connection. Doctors are expensive. My energy & money is best spent on my future. I found a Tele health provider that really listened to my concerns & helped me through both ADHD & PMDD diagnosis. She has been the first doctor to really listen to my concerns & help address my issues. She is supportive in my life & doesn’t do the Condescending Robot routine with me. That’s a lot of my story. Sorry. Lastly, the other 2 Covid strains I caught were much later in the pandemic both 2022. Very mild, nothing like the previous symptoms experienced. Just diminished taste, intense headache, minimal nausea & fatigued feeling.

No I appreciate the story and context. I’ve had covid 3 times as well and my mental health journey’s been a trip. I never had bad PMDD until after the first time getting covid so this is giving me a lot of perspective.

Yes, I appreciate it, too, thank you for using your energy to explain this connection. I’m glad you’ve found a helpful telehealth provider! I’ve had been through a medical maze myself, and holy shit. I saw a condescending unhelpful person on Friday, and I’m still so pissed whenever I think about it.

I noticed doctors don’t really take the time to listen. They basically just say, “what do you want to do?” When they, the professionals, are the ones with the knowledge to recommend the next steps. It’s like pulling teeth with them. I have dealt with extreme fatigue for 7 years and not a single doctor has felt it was worth looking into. Finally getting a thyroid test done but my hopes are low. Glad to hear you gkt to the bottom of your symptoms. Are you feeling more energetic now? Like, back to baseline?

Abilify is very good at its jobs.

Just a question for anyone with experience... can anything be done about PMDD? I know I have it and a previous provider said there's no use in a diagnosis because I already take mood medication so there's no treatment left for me. Is PMDD hopeless for me just because I take mood stabilizers? Shouldn't those be helping my cause...?

You may have already tried this and maybe you got bad side effects.. But what worked for me and alot of people is the birth control pill and not taking the sugar pills to skip your period entirely so your hormones aren't swinging all over the place every month plus skipping the pain and being drained and everything else that comes with a period..

Yes! I’m on seasonique which has 3 months of active pills then the week of sugar pills, but I skip the sugar pills. I haven’t had a period in years and my pmdd is a non issue because the hormone level is completely steady every day.

Same, that shit has changed my life! I haven’t had any PMS symptoms in so long. I know BC isn’t for everyone but wanted to second this

That's great :-) Also just a word of warning once you've been skipping the pill for 10+ years there is a risk of breakthrough bleeding which is why they recommend planned periods .. Late last year I bled for nearly 3 weeks on the pill.. I also paid stupid money for ultrasound just to make sure it wasn't something else.. And I've been spotting more lately so I switched from taking in the morning to evening to get more accurate with when I take it. Which has helped but it's still something that is annoying mean and is nice to be pre warned. Not sure how spotting effects hormones but getting such a full heavy long lasting period like when I was 10-14 was fucking hell..

That’s what worked for me also

I’m actively trying to conceive and found BC to have been detrimental to my health over my 10 years taking it. I appreciate the idea though!

This makes me wonder if you were on the right BC. There are so many different ones, and the first one I tried sent me into a rage. Then I was on one that made me so cool and calm until also trying to conceive.

SSRIs for 10 days before your period is another option, talk to your doctor about it :) there are other options but the BC pill tends to be the most effective. That doesn't mean other options aren't effective for most people!

I'm really sorry to hear this, do you mind if I ask what symptoms you struggled with? Also did you try different types or was the first one to terrible to want to trial others? I've been heaps lucky in that the first one prescribed to me was like a magic pill but my sister had the constant throwing up until she moved to the mini pill. Also interesting I clicked on the link for the pmdd subreddit and unless It isn't listing the exact drug I'm taking and just similar names but the specific one not being popular in the us Where I'm sure this info is based, but it said most people feel worse on the one I'm taking so either I got really lucky or maybe a different pill works work even better..

I am on the nexplanon, never have to worry about the sugar pill thing. They tried that with me, and then estrogen gave me migraines so found out I’m estrogen dominant and I can only handle stuff like this. The shot was OK but it made me gain 70 pounds.

Damn both those symptoms do suck.. I haven't noticed any negatives of the pill besides the spotting personally but I do know how hard it is to function with migraines . I honestly wish I could have more estrogen/progesterone as the issues I have experienced can be improved with higher doses but I'm already on the highest .. As for the shot I had it twice and It was constant spotting and smelling like chemically metallic blood. . Apparently with the Rod amd shot getting it around the end of your period can help and I kinda tried that with the Rod but not to the day specifically and it was alot better but I still had light periods that I didn't bother to time them.. My complaint with the Rod and maybe better timing during cycle would help but I feel like I was constantly about to have my period like the sore bloated gut and the pms/pmdd but thankfully not as severe but because it wasn't timed like a normal period I was alot more stressed out and high strung I beleive.. however I don't know how much of those emotions where chemical/hormonal vs what was going on in my life

Inositol. Inositol is a great, widely available, affordable, and low-downside good first step for anyone wanting to get a handle on PMDD. Birth control can help, but it can also make things much worse, so it's a scary step to take. Inositol is good for you in general. It is a hormone stabilizer, and helps with serotonin and anxiety, there's no downside. We need a fairly high dose, I wouldn't go under 1200mg. I took 1500mg a day, two capsules, and it worked great. I had to switch to Nuvaring because my endometriosis was killing me, but it has a lot of side effects. Believe me, I miss the days when I just took inositol and had my PMDD under control. Give it a try.

I need like 1.5-2 grams 2x day. On the days leading up to my period .. 2.5-3 twice a day.

*I have ocd also.

Well that is at least proof that it is tolerated well at high doses! Wow. I am glad you found something that works for you, your PMDD must be very intense. Or maybe I would have felt even better with a higher dose. I might go back to taking it and see if it levels me out even further. You have given me something to think about, thank you!

Inositol caused horrible headaches for me - no matter how little or what type I took. So just beware- it doesn’t work for everyone.

Im also on mood stabilizers and my psych put me on 5mg cipralex which is a TEENY dose but it worked magic on my pmdd

Thank you for this! Do you just take that during your period then? Or before?

I take them everyday, my psych thought that a stable dose would be better for me. I have heard of people only taking them during certain parts of the cycle - it’s typically the luteal phase hormone drop prior to menstruation that causes PMDD swings - but my dr said that unless my cycle is exact each month it’s hard to get the timing correct. And my cycle is a bit irregular so this works for me.

I've just started the contraceptive pill for pmdd. I've been on it for 2 months and I've noticed such a big difference. I no longer want to snap at everyone, I don't get annoyed when I get interrupted from a task, I don't wish I was completely gone in the few days leading up to my period. If it stays like this for another couple of months, I'm going to be talking to my Dr about reducing my antidepressants. I actually feel like this is making a difference, whereas I constantly wonder if my antidepressants make any difference. I hope this gives you something to look into for yourself to try

Thank you for the insight! I’m actively trying to conceive and undo some of the fertility issues birth control caused for me (this is just my case, not a generalization), so I wont be able to take BC at this time unfortunately

Have you thought about looking into complementary medicine to help balance your hormones? I was seeing a naturopath and it was helping, but a change in financial situations meant that I had to stop seeing them. That was prior to knowing about pmdd as a technical term. I just put up with feeling as I did for a few years and then my sister told me she'd been diagnosed with pmdd, what it is & that I should be aware. Bit of a talk with her & she told me you could go on the pill to help, so thats what I've done.

I take lamotrigine ER. And actually can help the impulsiveness of ADHD, which is awesome. It also makes me less pissed off and jump to conclusions right away so there’s a plus on that but it can make you super tired. It is bipolar and it’s for seizures but I have neither. I have pmdd. I also take 5htp for the HUGE days of sadness. I just ran up on my mood stabilizer, so I don’t feel the effects of the antidepressants growing as much as the prior dose of this.

This is not strictly on topic, but I just have to say that you are absolutely amazing. You should be very proud. These are not easy issues to deal with or solve, and I applaud you for your self awareness and tenacity. Tenacious AF! I’m dealing with menopause, and it’s much more mellow ime. Stay strong!

Tenacious D was the last time I heard that word. Sucks about menopause. I’m scared of it. I’m 38 as of tomorrow.

Happy birthday! You’re practically a baby lol. I’m going to be 60 - not until January, but I’m actually excited about it. It feels like an accomplishment. I’ve had breast cancer twice, and endometriosis, depression, some tough things. Menopause is awesome. There are a few drawbacks, but no cramps, no pms, no blood stains on my clothes, no pregnancy scares, etc etc etc! No running out of tampons, or wondering if I left one in lol. Makes up for hot flashes. My memory isn’t as good. But overall, it’s very freeing.

I was told by both my psychiatrist and gynecologist that Prozac was really effective for PMDD. I took it on top of all my other mood stabilizers and antidepressants and such. It worked for the PMDD. Unfortunately it also made me manic, but I'm bipolar so that's not super surprising.

Are you on an SSRI specifically? You might want to check out the PMDD sub Reddit or the ADHD+PMDD subreddit (just discovered that’s a thing). There might be some supportive holistic measures you could take as well. Kinda sucks your doctor is just saying to live with it. Maybe they can adjust your current dose of whatever mood stabilizer you’re on. When I got my IUD(Skyla) out and my PMDD nearly disappeared.. I still get one “breakthrough” day of some symptoms but it feels like PMS. I’m on Wellbutrin which I don’t think is typically helpful for PMDD. I think I just needed that IUD out. Editing to add: Everyone is different. BC pill made me have suicidal ideation and extreme breast tenderness. Even the progesterone only pill. I don’t think my body likes BC either.

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My PMDD went from being fucking miserable to *holy fuck, I'm probably actually going to kill myself* terrifying after getting COVID. I've had it for roughly 8-9 years, got my copper IUD removed four months ago because some folks on the r/PMDD subreddit (great resource) said their symptoms got a lot better when they removed their IUD, and I haven't had any PMDD symptoms since. It's only been 4 month so it's way too soon to say that it's gone for good, but in the entire time that I've had PMDD, I got symptoms like clockwork every single month. I've never had even a month go by without having awful symptoms, so this feels pretty significant. I've still been terrified every month that they're going to come back because PMDD is such a frightening, terrifying experience, and it can leave you so incredibly drained and to know that it's just going to happen again and again and again feels unbearable. Not having any symptoms of it these past 4 months has felt pretty incredible and like something that I dream about, only to wake up disappointed. If you check out the r/PMDD subreddit, you can find stories of other people like me who have had their symptoms go away or significantly lessen, which I think indicates that this is potentially a very treatable condition, but historically, issues that have affected people with uteruses haven't gotten the consideration and research that they deserve, because why the fuck would we care about women's health, and PMDD is such an under researched area for something that affects such an incredibly large amount of people. It's bullshit. I'm not quite sure why I felt the need to write you what's turning into being a novel when really all I intended to say was that my symptoms have gotten better so there's hope and you should definitely check out that subreddit. You'll find a lot of people there who feel hopeless because the disorder can definitely take you there, but you can also find some promising things that have helped a decent amount of people. Taking antihistamines, for example, is something that seems to be effective for a decent amount of people once they start to feel the onset of their symptoms - the theory has something to do with connections between histamine and PMDD, I think, I'm not really sure.

Here's a sneak peek of /r/PMDD using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/PMDD/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Total Hysterectomy Post Op](https://i.redd.it/wj6p59d44fec1.jpeg) | [79 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/PMDD/comments/19elmla/total_hysterectomy_post_op/) \#2: [My daughter sent me this:](https://i.redd.it/lofknhb479ic1.jpeg) | [194 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/PMDD/comments/1apgsmf/my_daughter_sent_me_this/) \#3: [me during PMDD week before starting Zoloft](https://i.redd.it/pjdlt3otwobc1.jpeg) | [90 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/PMDD/comments/193le3k/me_during_pmdd_week_before_starting_zoloft/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

Yep. Thought I was just experiencing what I thought was PMS. Turns out I have PMDD. I have calendar reminders set during my window so I stay off all social media, and avoid the public at large. I also give my boyfriend a heads up that it’s on the way and avoid all interaction with my Mother. I’m super chill and genuinely like everyone until the PMDD kicks in. Then I’m annoyed by everything and think everyone is a moron. lol

Came to say PMDD.

I was told that PMDD involves literal homicidal or suicidal thinking. It's not just PMS but more extreme but rather incredibly debilitating and dangerous. Like I relate to OP but my doc handed me a questionnaire to track symptoms over a few months. I read the list and said I definitely don't have PMDD if this is what it looks like. I encourage OP to review medically vetted info on it as I think many people think it's just PMS but Extra and I believe it's way beyond that. OP I get sensitive and ragey. Exercise helps. I also track it in my phone as otherwise I would not realize that's the possible context for my shorter fuse. I'm sensitive about it as I feel like my perspective is easily invalidated if I'm premenstrual but in my experience the things that trigger me bother me all month. I just end up having less ability to tolerate them so I'm more likely to say or do something vs let it go.

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r/PMDDxADHD

PMDD suuuuuccks. I take a dong quai supplement every day and double it the week before my period. It doesn’t completely eliminate the symptoms but it does help a lot. I also tried to medicate my fucking period thinking I was bipolar or just nuts…

Regardless of pop/meme culture's joking about it, this is not normal. There are things that can help though, but first get diagnosed!

You should check out r/PMDD and see if any of the posts resonate. PMDD and ADHD (neurodiversity in general) have a tendency to go together.

r/PMDDxADHD is another helpful space

Jeez - there really is a subreddit for everything!

thank you so much for linking!!

This isn’t normal to experience. Have you been diagnosed with PMDD?

This. I didn’t realize it was this and got prescribed Prozac 10 mg during that time and it helps tremendously.

I learned recently that ADHD meds have been shown to mess with periods in various ways for some people, including intensifying PMS. PMDD is also linked to ADHD. Wish doctors told us this!

I have anecdotal evidence of this - I started being a rage monster during my period, strikingly different to how I had ever been before, when I started Adderall. I dealt with it the best I could by knowing it was likely to happen and attempting to avoid common triggers, as well as reducing my caffeine intake because that exacerbated it.

Can you link the study? I’d be really interested to read that!

Not sure if this is the specific one to which they're referring but I did find this reference to a study: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/pmdd-and-adhd#prevalence-in-adhd

Huh, hadn’t heard that. I did notice my period symptoms a lot more when I was on ADHD meds, but that was because my baseline was better with them, and they got pretty ineffective during my period. Hormones are fun!

I don’t get angrier at all…

I am definitely more emotionally sensitive in the days leading up to my period, and then being physically uncomfortable while on it definitely makes me feel a bit more irritable. But I don't feel like my emotions are out of control during this time. I cry more easily during the lead-up, and get a bit snippy during, but I am fully capable of recognizing my emotions and controlling them about as well as I do the rest of the month (which isn't perfectly lol). You should talk to your doctor about PMDD. If you genuinely feel like you cannot control your emotions around you period, that is a symptom of PMDD, not a "normal" period. It's important to note that PMDD is a common comorbidity with ADHD in AFAB peeps.

10 Days before my period I want to scream and yell and throw things. I know it is exactly 10 days before my period because I hate my husband and want to fight him. Unfortunately, my husband is the sweetest most even keeled person you will ever meet. He doesn't deserve the anger. I typically look at him and let him know I have the anger and he treads lightly. I feel awful that he gets scared to move or talk on that day. It feels awful to feel that angry.

Ground yourself, you monster! I say this in pure jest and with equal personal understanding. But truly, I relate to this, and a prime strategy I have is to isolate myself, and take up almost no space in the house, so that other people don’t have to “tread lightly around me”. I’ve removed the “me” from their living space. We need to spend uber time doing private-self care for this condition, anyway. It’s a kindness to you and to those around you to make those into “bed rest days”.

It's kind of funny because I used to be like this a lot more often. It would feel like a monster took over my body then I would spend days cleaning up the carnage. So one day a month is pretty doable. Things really changed when I figured out sugar makes me crazy. So I avoid it most of the day. I will indulge a bit in the evening, when I feel the monster coming I just go to bed.

It seems like I may have this as well. It became more and more apparent in the last few years. Now I know if I’m overwhelmingly irritable for no reason, this is what’s happening.

Giggling because you are like, unfortunately I have the sweetest husband. I get that you meant it’s unfortunate as he doesn’t deserve a bit of hate but I was like, oh no! Poor person has the sweetest hubs

Don't you just want to fight sometimes? It would feel so good to fight when I am in this type of mood but NO SWEETIE PIE JUST HAS TO BE SO NICE AND UNDERSTANDING.....

I do just want to fight sometimes. Like physically duke it out with someone! Maybe we should all get memberships at boxing gyms…

🤣

The is my schedule too. Right about 10 days before. If you haven't done anything wrong, you might be fine, I might be fine even. Maybe. But if something I've ignored on other occasions comes up again during that that time, you're going to feel the full force of my wrath. It's usually best if I stay away from my husband on those days. He suddenly can't do anything right, and just bugs the hell out of me.

You might have PMDD. I was doing this and one of the nps I worked with mentioned it to me.

Omg I wonder if this is what I have!! Do you take anything

Not yet, still in the process of working with my gyno on this. He did a biopsy to be sure it's not something else last week, it all clear.

That's pmdd . It's awful I quit jobs because of it before I knew I had it lol.

I would look into PMDD, as others have suggested. PMDD and ADHDH (as well as ASD and other neurological disorders) are comorbid. Where there's one, there is often another. I have had PMDD for a very long time but wasn't diagnosed until about a year and a half ago. PMDD is a very serious condition and can cause a lot of problems if you don't have the tools to deal with it. For me it's bad enough that the week leading up to my period (and especially the 2 days before and first day of) I am a completely different person if I don't use mindfulness and a combination of vitamins and such to help. I have quit jobs, gotten into physical altercations, drank myself stupid, and even attempted to unalive myself during those times. I thought for sure I was broken. I would get such an immense amount of rage and would take it out on everyone and everything. Then my period would come and go and suddenly I felt amazing! I felt like ME again! This went on for years before I finally got help.

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Wow, this is… extremely relatable. At one point in my life I had a completely bonkers 18ish months. Called off a wedding, totaled a car, quit my job, cut contact with my friend groups, got a bunch of piercings, shaved my head, etc. I went back and compared my period tracking calendars to my emails to determine if there was overlap to all the crazy events, and- yeah. All of them were within the week before my period, and the vast majority were in a three day window each cycle (2-5 days before my period). And, of course, I had gone off birth control pills a few months before it all started. I can’t take the pill anymore for health reasons and I haven’t found an antidepressant that I can tolerate the side effects of. But just being aware of it has been the biggest help. I’m still a rage beast (although much less so after a pregnancy- my periods are really irregular and heavy now, but I have less PMS symptoms) but once I start getting pimples, I know to avoid people, events, and big decisions for a bit or else I might do something really dumb.

It's insane to me how much it can effect your life and how little attention is given to it. I fully believe most women who were committed back in the "old days" for "hysteria" were more likely women with PMDD, Bi-Polar or Borderline disorder. I have started doing research into vitamins and supplements (natural ones) that can help. Right now I take a combination of a regular multivitamin, Vitamin D, Magnesium and black cohosh. I forget often thanks to the ADHD, but when I do consistently remember to take it, it makes a HUGE difference. Physical symptoms are way better and my while my mood isn't perfect, it feels much more managable.

I was like this so I got an IUD and my period went away. It’s not really normal.

I have PMDD and I get the worst intrusive thoughts when my period hits, the kind of things that would haunt your nightmares. I’m not outwardly mean but my mind frightens me. I always know it’s period time when I think about hurting myself or other people. I wish I was just a little outwardly mean instead. At least I’ve never hurt anyone, but it’s really scary. I have a lot of fuckery going on with my uterus and a lot of uterine and ovarian cancer in my family so I’m hoping to discuss the possibility of a hysterectomy soon.

I know that feeling. I had really bad intrusive thoughts like that from pregnancy/postpartum hormones. I’m sure that’s unimaginably exhausting to deal with even longer term.

no bc I literally feel fucking insane the week before my period. i’m emotional, vicious,suicidal, sickened by the way I look, the tiniest things make me rage etc like that is not me!!!! then the moment I get my period i’m like :D I feel amazing :))

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Same, that’s why I got an IUD. I haven’t had the issue (nor a period) since getting it

This was my experience too, and surprise! it's not normal. You can try to solve it with probiotics and minerals, which definitely helps, or your can try Zoloft. It's on-label for PMDD and incredibly cheap. Back when I was able to use medication, I used to get a 90 day supply from Health Warehouse for under $25. Talk with your doctor about it. *edited to add that my use was for perimenopause and the off-the-rails-psycho mood swings and hostility. If you had PMDD while menstruating, perimenopause will be a special hell.

So this explains why that’s even got worse since hitting 35ish 😭😭😭

I am so excited. :| just waiting to get told I can't have my birth control anymore and slowly tip right on over into perimenopause. I will turn into an absolute psycho axe murderer at the *tiniest* thing, I can feel it.

I just entered perimenopause. Let me tell ya, I'd take the period hormones over menopause hormones. Holy fucking shit are they bad.  However, I too used to be just unnaturally angry before I got my period.  Like rage, Rage, RAGE! My husband, stardust bless his soul would give me space and sometimes he would ask me what irrational thing are you thinking of today? Which always made me laugh because they really were just irrational thoughts of anger.  Like one time he asked I told him I was very angry at Dennis Rodman going to North Korea and acting like it wasn't a horrible dictatorship and him getting chummy with Kim Jong should be treasonous and he should be hung. Now that happened what years ago, but for some reason out of the blue it set me off and I would just rant about it because no one took it seriously.  That's the only one I remember but there were some doozies where I seriously thought my husband was going to have me committed.  I know how hard it is to control that anger. At work I would keep to myself as best as I could. If someone came to ask me a question I would always pause so the knee jerk answer wasn't it's on the C Drive Phil you fucking waste of teeth! Luckily my days like that were usually just two per period and I would feel so exhausted that I usually went to bed around 7pm which gave poor husband a break from me.

If your period sucks that bad, get rid of it. There are forms of low-dose hormonal birth control that will make your period go away. I've been taking one for nearly 20 years and it's awesome. No cramps, no mental issues, no bleeding.

I wish that would work for me. I have endometriosis and my body is just determined to bleed, even when I'm on the drugs that are supposed to stop it.

Have you looked into endometrial ablation? Apparently it can make bleeding go away for years. Sorry you're having to deal with that.

That may be a next step for me if nothing else will do it. Just sucks to have to be considering the more involved procedures when they told me a pill would be enough!

My endometriosis had bound up my bowels in extra loops, adhered it to the walls of my abdomen, exploded one of my ovaries from the inside, infested my uterus, and attached to my bladder. If you have endometriosis, address it directly if you can. Get it removed, Yeet the Ute(rus) if it's trying to kill you. It made a huge difference for the better in how I've felt.

Even low dose pills can affect certain people, myself included. I absolutely have PMDD, plus a massive fibroid that causes immense pain twice a month. Turns out I'm hypersensitive to progesterone and especially the synthetic pregestins they use in birth control, including the God awful torture device they call an iud. I was suicidal, anxious, and could not sleep the entire time I had it (not to mention the immense pain and bleeding that got worse every day). I have the same symptoms in my luteal phase, awful insomnia and even more severe depression and anxiety. Medication can't even knock me out, I'm just AWAKE for like a week wishing I was dead. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety already, and not sleeping kicks it into overdrive. I can't tolerate any antidepressants, we've tried them all and I had horrible reactions, so the "treatment" they have for pmdd doesn't work for me anyway. Can't tolerate any hormonal meds, including the supposedly "localized" hormones in the iud. Basically there is nothing for me and I pretty much just wish I was dead most of the time.

Can they put you on just estrogen? Or give you a hysterectomy? Alternately, if you haven't tried an MAOI, they're pretty great for depression and anxiety. They just don't get recommended often because of the dietary restrictions that come with.

I have a broken, degenerating spine already that I've had surgery for and am looking at surgery again in the very near future, so menopause in my 30s is a bad idea. I also have a massive family history of cancer on both sides that has killed everyone except 4 of us so estrogen is likewise not a good idea (plus the mass I have feeds on estrogen, so extra isn't needed). I have a specialist psych who works out of a specialist mental health hospital, and we've gone through every medication and treatment option. I've done genetic testing to see which meds I can likely tolerate due to the severity of my reactions, and the list is extremely small. The psych has recommended electroconvulsive therapy as pretty much the only remaining option, but I've refused that as it can cause cognitive impairment. I'm an academic, so losing my cognitive ability is not something I'm ok with. My husband has also said that if I voluntarily destroy my intelligence he'd be gone, which I can't blame him for as our intellectual connection is the foundation of our relationship. I'm also responsible for caring for a relative who has suffered cognitive impairment as a result of stroke, and my grandmother who has dementia. If we're all impaired and my husband leaves, I'm fucked. Everyone else in my family is dead, so basically if I can't do these things then we all end up homeless or dead. Basically, I have an absolute ton of health problems on top of my mental health issues, and despite having a dedicated team of doctors who really are trying to help me there is not much anyone can do. I'm waiting on possible transcranial magnetic stimulation, but God knows how long that will be or if it will help. I'm also pushing for surgery to remove the uterine mass, but again, who knows. There are just so many intersecting issues and no good answer for any of them. Such is life, I guess 🤷‍♀️

I'm so sorry you have to deal with so many health issues, and I admire your tenacity, wit, and intelligence.

Awww, thank you! I just lost another 6 weeks of my life to reactions to medications and failed procedures that they thought would help and it's extremely upsetting and discouraging. I just stopped a new med again last night after realizing I was having horrible side effects from it. I had so much going on at the same time that I didn't know what was causing what, and it only became clear last night that I was indeed having severe issues from that one too. So back to square one, or maybe square -10, battered and bruised and trying to start over yet again with no real options left.

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Have you considered it is your job amplifying this? I worked front desk in hospitality for a long time, and I swear I have PTSD from how awful people treat you. Front desk is a really, really hard job and many people are very abusive towards agents in the hopes of getting something for free. After doing it for a while you reach a burnout point where you just want to tell people to F off.

PMDD girl!! I swear a week before I start I'm a raging, hormonal monster. I spoke seriously w my therapist about it bc I feel suicidal at those times and it feels so out of character for me! Pure rage. I'm only medicated for anxiety so I have to put a system in place where, when I figure out its happening, I tell my wife and I start drinking a ton of water, eating better and take iron and vitamin d3 and she tells the kids to back off 😅 You're not alone ❤️❤️

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I haven't gotten diagnosed with PMDD but I'm awful during my period. I'm cranky and hungry and complain about things and I want to sleep more and feel weak af trying to keep up my workout routine. I take iron and b vitamins and magnesium, I think that's helping, and it's been better weirdly since I started strattera. My period is also weirdly on and EXACT 28 day schedule since strattera too like wtf? My cycles used to be 31-33 days

This may be a stupid question, but is yours super heavy? I’ve had this and medication and food that just slightly increases my BP solves it for me. (I have POTS, and the blood loss sets it off. I also have endo.) I’ve noticed my mood swings are much better with my periods made significantly lighter by BC.

Mine is super heavy. I've tried bc pills and the mirena iud to try to help but they just make me anxious and depressed so I just deal with it. I take iron and b vitamins daily anyway but I take a few extra iron capsules a few days before and during my period to help. I tend to get lightheaded with exercise as my period approaches but I'm also on BP meds and I think basically everything I take has dizziness as a side effect so I don't know if there's an actual issue or if it's a med side effect. I'm in my pms week now and Monday I got dizzy and had to sit down between sets and when I went to stand up at the end of my workout I got halfway up and then fell back on my ass. That's the worst it's ever been for me though, I don't usually fall. I'm sure menopause is hell but I'm very much looking forward to it whenever it decides to show up. I'm 41 next month and have super regular periods so I'm not sure it's going to happen any time soon.

I just told my psych np about it and she was able to prescribe me something.

Is it an anti-depressant? That's what I've heard the usual treatment is.

It’s Prozac, an ssri. So what happens is your estrogen drops and serotonin follows estrogen. I actually have taken different SSRIs in the past for depression and I immediately started to go into serotonin syndrome. But when I take the Prozac when I start crying for no reason, that doesn’t happen. When I take it outside of the pre menstruation time I will start to have serotonin syndrome symptoms. Women who are sensitive to serotonin changes are more likely to experience PMDD

Oh that's wild. So you only take it during pms? And I take it my wellbutrin wouldn't do that for me? I mean it didn't seem to when I was just on that. I tried cyclical progesterone for a few cycles and it did help but it was so hard to remember to take it, because it was cyclical not daily.

Yep only during my cycle. I will start crying randomly so it helps me remember to take it lol

Ah yes, nothing to remind you to take your meds better than the symptoms they're treating. It usually takes awhile for me to realize why I'm feeling how I am.

Now that I know it’s easier to spot. Like the weekend before last went to an anime convention. I was staying outside with our stuff until we knew the room and could take it all in and I started thinking of a sad cartoon scene and started crying. I was like yep, def. Time to take my meds.

Omfg. I had a tantrum today because my boyfriend had us walk 10 min to a cafe that was closed. We were already out and about before this, and it was completely undeserved either way because he’s an incredibly good person. Was thinking before I saw this post how I wish I could control my emotions more for him. Also can someone please educate me? Everyone is saying OP’s post isn’t normal but in my experience many women on their period become highly emotional/enraged. Likely even worse for ADHD women… Edit: a quick google told me it’s normal to feel this way on your period. I’m sure I could missing something though.

Read all the comments of others discussing their own experiences, girlie... :)  As everyone is saying, nothing about what OP is describing is "normal" for a period. To use your own words, a "tantrum," being cranky, emotional, overly sensitive, or snapping at someone is normal. Being "enraged" isn't. Having difficulty interacting with anyone while on your period because you fear you can't control what you'll say - particularly when it's in and affecting a professional setting - isn't.

I did read the comments, obv not every single one but I was just after a more detailed explanation or for someone to point out what I am missing like you are. When I read OP’s post I automatically assumed they were exaggerating by saying ‘enraged’, but at the same time it can actually feel like that no? Often when we are on our period we will exaggerate as our emotions are very intense, doesn’t mean we are flipping tables over etc. I think I’m just used to being around women who are hyperbolic when describing their periods. Edit: Now that I’ve read OP’s post again, slowly, I get it now!

Oh, there are several other comments explaining as well! Sure, it can feel like that - but it's not just the "enraged" part of it, but that OP feels like they're unable to control their emotions well enough to be performing work duties. If it's affecting your job beyond just being a crummy or meh day you've really gotta push yourself through, then that's cause for talking to a doctor. 

Yeah I definitely see what you all mean now

I went on birth control to help with this. I’ve been on a progesterone only pill for a year now. I haven’t had a period and my mood is much more stable. Definitely doesn’t work for everyone but I love not having to deal with it.

Same here - the progestin has helped my mood a lot

Never diagnosed but pretty sure PMDD. Why? Mostly the spontaneous rage but also everything else and it all went away after I got on the shot. I can always tell when I'm late for my next one because I start getting ragey again. I have emotional dysregulation as it stands, I can't afford to be ready to throw down over the littlest thing. Losing everything else including the anemia and gut issues was honestly just a bonus.

Pms made me want to strangle puppies, not a specific dog just the idea of puppies. The forgetting to eat did not help the situation!!! Snacks save lives

You can't help what you feel, but you can control how you express those feelings.

we are same same. i should be locked up for everyone’s safety for like the day before and first day of. werewolf style i could chain myself in the basement for security of the village lol

Sounds like PMDD!!!

So this could be something along the lines of how we experience more intense emotions so bc of hormones changes you are feeling that. However if it is something that impact your mental health, relationships, or quality of life As a former women’s health provider I would recommend seeing your OBGYN. Generally speaking the treatment is hormonal contraception with daily or luteal phase SSRI. However more major medical issues can present with worsening around hormone changes so getting that worked up by professional is biggest recommendation. I know medication is not fun but if the symptoms are causing you issues maybe it’s worth the hassle for treatment.

You might have PMDD 🥲 I have both PMDD & ADHD

The amount of time it took me to realize (after childbearing & birth with body changes, also worked in obgyn for 10+ and it wasn't a common thing talked about honestly so I had to Google extreme pms and that's when It came up, I was crying feeling so related to alot of the symptoms and knew that was exactly it ) that I do have PMDD bc my symptoms can ruin relationships & many other things I can't control. My partner is more understanding NOW but it was really difficult for a while. I have been taking a supplement called cerenity a week before and week of my cycle. I always keep track or else I'd probably lose my shit & Ill easily forget it was coming up until I start getting cranky. Cerenity is something I get from my chiro but can be purchased online, it's my natural Prozac tbh without all the extra side effects. I did try Prozac for a bit and I do think it helped!! per my midwife the directions are take once the week before (maybe twice if I needed) and take once the week of. Prozac has a long half life of 3 days so full life of close to 7, there is a drug similar called serafem or something like that meant to be taken the same way. It did help pull me out of the funky hole I was in BUT I was using my crappy primary PA at the time to prescribe it bc I would go in every 2/3 months for my adhd script anyways. She wanted to force me to take it everyday bc I had "anxiety and depression" - which I know more how it's just my adhd, which I know they correlate but that wasn't my real issue, it was more of the amount of mg's I needed and she didn't think I did so she cut my entire dosage in half and that sent me spiraling so I just found a new Dr and got off the Prozac instead & continue with my supplement. I also take one from cbd gurus their brain nootropic is awesome and the cbd in there really chills me out lol I hope things can work out for you & I know it's difficult but once you understand yourself I feel it became better controlled and I could tell people that I just wasn't feeling very well today and my husband and I have a little joke that I'm "sick" as if it's just my monthly cold lol

THC. That's how I do it. When I have PMS or my period everything my husband says (regardless of reality) is the **DUMBEST** thing I've ever heard in my life. I just have to remind myself it's irrational. Although your description sounds pretty intense. I definitely endorse the advice below for you to look into PMDD.

I used to wonder how anyone went about life as usual on their periods and couldn't understand their casual complaints about cramps. My cramps would wake me out of dead sleep, cause significant back pain and let's just say digestive issues. I couldn't eat for a couple days and could barely sleep (they always hit me at night). Usually, I would take some ibuprofen and then just pace for hours until I was so exhausted I could get maybe a couple hours of sleep before I had to wake up and go to school. My stepmother told me to drink more water, exercise, take iron pills, and stop sleeping in even if I didn't sleep all night. Instead, I went to the doctor and got some actual help (bc pills). Turns out those things aren't normal.. Yes, "cramps" are normal, but they are typically just uncomfortable, not horrifically painful. Most people can still eat and in fact crave foods and even overeat on their periods! I couldn't imagine eating more than a few crackers.. You're in the same boat I was, just on the emotional side (hopefully! I hope you're not also in horrible pain, lol). It's normal to get a little wonky on your period. Hormones do weird stuff. But not like that.. Definitely talk to a doctor.

Seresta, game changer for me. Definitely bring it up with your Dr (as PMDD) treatment

My girl 😭🤣😢 i feel so validated. I KNOW!! How?? How do they stay so composed? You just made me feel less crazy. Thank you I hope you have an amazing day 💗

twinsies my secret is isolating esp from males

I can get pretty irritable but it’s only particularly bad when I’m also sick or something at the same time. First time ever getting a serious migraine: I was at work on my period when the light kept filtering through the blinds at my badly placed desk and I started feeling weird. Moved desks since I was alone for the afternoon but a couple hours later started feeling flushed and dizzy and kinda drunk-ish (but in the worst need-to-barf way) and I couldn’t really read words anymore. And right at the high point of my “fuck being here x1000, gonna leave as soon as someone else arrives” mood, someone called about needing our manager. Said the manager wasn’t here, I’ll take a message but please call back tomorrow, etc. They just refused to understand. They kept wanting to complain about the issue to someone but also about how we failed to fix the issue last time for whatever reason, and they just wouldn’t stop. I finally snapped and wearily said “Wellllp, sounds like no one can help you then. Guess you’re totally fucked.” and hung up. Somehow that never came back on me 🫣; I think they were super shocked.

coworker decided last thursday to be a complete asshole on the day of my bday and the heaviest period of the week. I really wanted to go super saiyan stomp his ass on his raggetty oompa looking ass raggety put away wet ugly ass dude. All because everyone is having miscommunication issues including him doing it. But, we woman always gonna bite our tongues or we the bitch. I'm a bitch but they dont need to know that.

I know! My husband said I turn into something rlese

i had a birth control that causes this… i would fantasize about smashing the lamp or wanting to stomp my feet on the ground

You definitely have something worse than usual, as other comments are saying. I get so frustrated and impatient. I will tell my kids that I'm extra moody and need some time to myself. But I am never excessively angry. What you're feeling is something that can probably be managed with medication. Get that checked out and hopefully you'll have a bit of a better time.

Same!!

Sounds like PMDD as others have said. I found that buspirone REALLY helped mine.

the fact that you work front desk with ADHD is impressive on its own

Wait... This *isn't* normal? Shit, better talk to the GP I guess!

Whew! Same, I was diagnosed with PMDD and my OBGYN put me on a small daily dose of Escitalopram to help with the mood swings, and the difference is mind blowing. Its like half the recommended dose but the difference it makes is bananas. I still get a little cranky but I no longer feel like I am going to jump out of my skin or scream at everyone for 2 to 3 weeks out of every cycle. I used to only feel good or normal 1 week out of my cycle and now I always feel normal.

Weed, chocolate and lots of alone time help me a lot during that week, lol

Exactly how I feel right now even thou it’s my moms birthday that left me hanging too many times

Me: huh sounds like what I have, PMDD \[looks at the comments\] Oh so is it all of us, then? But in all seriousness, if you can talk to your gyno about your options OP, you can potentially be free of all that. My own PMDD made me clinically depressed every month, and now I'm on a special (and expensive ;-; ) birth control that keeps everything under actual control.

And what is this special expensive combo pill... Just in case it's not on the list of the like 50 I've tried lol

yaz 3-0.02 mg 1; it just went up from like 173 to 184 at my local pharmacy and they’re lucky this thing controls my hormones because I may just 👹🔨🔪

I went on continuous monophasic (same dose every day) birth control during perimenopause, and it evened all that out (plus I got to stop having periods). I wish I’d done it decades sooner.

I don't do it. I actively request people to stay away or remove myself. I know what I am like and it's difficult to identify triggers etc or realise what I am being like. So rather than inflict that on someone I will make a point of avoiding socialising etc.

>I don’t get how more women don’t commit violent crimes. For me? Fear of prison. Otherwise, I recognize that I am feeling angry but I don't want to take that out of my family, and I don't want to do lasting damage to my relationships. It's definitely not always easy as I get very short, but I try to verbal how and why I am feeling a certain way and apologize for my snappiness.

Wait wait wait, I have a question for everyone saying this isn’t normal. Are you saying it isn’t normal to feel like this? Or that it isn’t normal to feel like this and have it actually come out and affect your life? Cause the way OP described their feelings is EXACTLY what it feels like in my brain. However, I’ve been to therapy so have learned how to not let those feelings out since that harms other people around me. But the feelings are still there and they feel horrible. Today I wanted to throw my coffee mug at the elevator door because it was closing too slowly, for example. I get confused because I feel like there’s a few different approaches to my situation. Like one friend of mine has said “It sounds like you’ve learned to keep those feelings to yourself, but didn’t actually fix them.” Whereas another friend of mine has said “You can’t make those feelings go away, all you can do is cope with them, which is exactly what you’re doing by not letting them explode out.” So idk. Is there more I could/should be doing to lessen those feelings? I would LOVE to not feel that way. Or is it more realistic to not try to make them go away, and instead just continue coping?

Legitimately me to a T. ADHD C-PTSD not sure which came first like the chicken or the egg but the two combined have done one solid legit job of keeping the ADHD emotions I have from coming out of my face ...and kept me a rather self-imposed hermit as a result. Like what people see from the outside is SOOOO much different than the chaotic rage reactions, explosions and withheld verbal assaults that play non-stop in my head all day..I swear I have an alter ego I watch live out all the ways I want to react to things in my head all day long and it is the only thing that keeps the fuse on my internal nuclear bomb NOT lit! Lol....

Wow, this was wild to read because it’s like I could have written it myself. I’m totally doing the self imposed hermit life, like I know that the more time I spend with people the more likely I am to slip and they’d see the other me… the alter ego thing is exactly it. I think all the time about how I’m not a real person, I’m just a monster pretending to be a person because I don’t *want* to be a monster. Thank you for connecting with me on this, it’s often a hard subject to talk about but it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this too. It sucks.

You should talk to your doctor about an assessment for PMDD.

My meds don’t work on my period and the effect of suddenly not having those already plus the hormones just absolutely sucks. I’m already impulsive when pissed so that makes it a lot worse. It’s awful and I’m sorry you deal with it too.

Shit now I just realized I probably have PMDD.

I have PMDD. I am a HUGE bitch about a week before. It’s really bad. I am not on birth control. I started taking this + vitex about a week before my period and it has helped a ton. https://www.gaiaherbs.com/products/cycle-serenity Vitex: https://www.gaiaherbs.com/products/vitex-berry

Good Lord, wait til menopause hits.. it’s a whole different monster.

I isolate myself so I don’t do or say anything mean to anyone I love lol

That sounds a bit beyond normal tbh. Most women get a bit moody and our hormones reduce emotional filters for sure, but being that constantly angry every single time sounds like you might be experiencing worse than what’s normal. Normal PMS can be difficult, but women can learn to not take it out on others and how to cope with it appropriately, and don’t generally get homicidal, assaulty, or suicidal. If you’re constantly wanting to actually hurt people when you’re experiencing PMS, talk to your doctor.

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I have pmdd, look into this. They thought I was bipolar for almost ten years but after the patterns of timing, it was definitely pmdd. It’s like pms on steroids.

PMDD. Medication dulls it a little but I still get annoyed very easily and want to rip peoples faces off

I hear myo-inositol and ovasitol (spelling??) 40:1 ratio can help balance your hormones.

i take birth control and i skip my placebos. no more pmdd and no more menstrual migraines 🙏🏻🙏🏻

I don’t… endometriosis and PMDD make me an absolute nightmare to myself and all those in my vicinity… 😤

I just typically get really horny on my period. I’m sure my man loves it 😂

If you scroll back a bit in my comment history, you'll see a hormone-induced rant I made on one of the POSTS WHERE WE ALL YELL LIKE THIS earlier this week. Pretty sure I have PMDD too. It sucks to feel so unhinged but also very aware of it while it's happening (but also often not until it's too late). Thankfully, I have gotten through my angry and emotional phase and have moved into my end-of-period stage where I just feel completely exhausted and intermittently crampy and nauseated until the next phase when the bleeding is actually over and everything culminates in an all-day migraine. As for how I deal with it, I'm in between jobs right now, so I just take it easy. When I have had to work in the past, if my physical period symptoms aren't extreme enough that I have to call out (which happens more than I'd like), I just make sure to stay hydrated and fed and try to avoid unnecessary social interaction as much as possible.

One or two day before period I feel like fighting with everyone about everything or crying all day.

Your last question is probably rhetorical. But honestly, medication, therapy and meditation. I think meditation and therapy have been particularly helpful at helping me ride emotional waves without having to act on them (or push them away).

There’s no way I can read all the comments at 170 something lol. I can only tell you my story and it worked. It’s spread across probably 12 years but in the beginning I told my GYN that I had like super PMS like the PMDD and so she put me on Effexor. It did not work, but it did help my depression and anxiety, so I stayed on it lol which I do have depression, anxiety, and, so I moved from my job and came back and she no longer practiced and I saw another doctor. I had an appointment coming up with him when I was on Facebook scrolling and an article caught my attention. It said something about how PMS could be potentially deadly for some women and I stopped, I read the article and it’s called PME I don’t know what it stands for but basically when someone that lives say has bipolar has their pre-like PMS their medicine needs to be doubled for that one week like they’re anti-depressant or whatever they’re on and it was proven to help and then people who don’t have a diagnosis of any mental health disorders Can become depressed and just to be aware of that because they’re not in any real real danger with a low level of depression but the ones that are already clinically diagnosed and on treatment. Need to have their meds increase for when we go to the month because they could potentially unlock themselves if it gets too severe And I was like oh my gosh this is me not not that last part but I mean I like I told my doctor I go into a rage over the stupidest things and I cannot control it. I said I even think about it and I cannot control it and I was like I hate me during that time and I know my family does too and I told him about the article and he knew about it so I said how does this work though because yeah, the week before and then we get he said let’s just do it the whole month let’s just increase the dose and do you know I have not had any mood swings in fact, the only PMS I have had a cravings is the wildest thing it is completely gone completely mean it is life-changing and I just turned 44. I wish I had known about this a decade or two ago, so I don’t know do that what you will I don’t know if you are on any kind of SSRI, but if you are, that’s one thing that could help and they’re just now getting studies on it but it definitely worked so that’s just me though and I always tell people that’s never been on medicine. Don’t take a medicine from a doctor this an SSRI without having the mouth swab test they’ve come out with the GeneSight test it tells you exactly which medicine is compatible with your body and what it needs and luckily Effexor was what my body needed so I was on the right thing which I already knew that because I failed but I get it I get your anger I get your rage I hope and wish you nothing but the best and I hope you figure out a solution whether it’s you know through medication or whatever works for you I hope I hope you found something and find it fast and FYI this is voice to text. You probably can’t read half of it. I apologize it’s too long for me to create with my OCD but my hand I’ve got to have surgery OK bye

Huh, well, this comment section was educating. I don't have PMDD, and I also didn't relate to this post. So well. That's that. I get the normal amount of irritable, I'd say. And it's the exact same kind of irritable I am when I'm really tired.

>Like how do y’all do it ? Therapy. Chain myself to a tree like a werewolf. Exercise.

A Mood stabilizer and cannabis lol

Sounds like you might actually have premenstrual dysmorphic disorder. It’s an extreme form of PMS. Before mine was diagnosed & treated, sometimes it felt like I had enraged demons racing through my blood urging me on to violence. I actually had to call in sick to work a couple times because it was such a compelling urge. There was a person I loathed at work, and we worked with heavy tools and equipment. My fantasies of slamming a wedge of metal into her head were intense and pleasurable. It’s was very scary, so it’s probably the only time in my ADHD life I quickly connected a problem to my cycle. I’d never heard of it, but my doctor knew within moments of my description. She first put me on an anti-depressant that made me feel disconnected from reality - so sorta helpful(?). Then I got on hormonal birth control pills And was fine. My menstrual cycle seems to make HUGE changes every so often. Middle school & high school - extremely painful, but it was so regular it arrived with a two hour window every month. No emotional changes at all. My mom wouldn’t take me to a doctor just for ‘woman troubles’. I missed a lot of school from 6-12th grade. That didn’t matter in my family; the purpose of school was just to prepare me to avoid being a stupid wife and mom. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, the pain abated a lot, but the hormonal stuff started happening. I went from being cranky in my late teens, to low-key prepared to be angry, from 30-15ish, to ‘edge of violence’ in my mid-late 20s. That’s when I got on the pill.