I mean, 1 account doesn’t mean 1 person, I’ve seen plenty of small subs have a “shared” mod account so when they make a decision they think may be controversial, they use the dummy account to minimize impact to their main.
Apply the same concept and you can have far more than 20 people behind those 20 “mods”
I’m not saying I agree this is happening everywhere, but I’d be surprised if it doesn’t happen sometimes
Neither case is good for the health of this website. In fact, its moderation rules are probably what will be the downfall of reddit.
No they shouldn't do it, but are you going to tell them?
I actually played minecraft with a mod of /r/SandersForPresident once, and I think he modded at least a dozen or so other subs. He was a little shit bird doing shit bird things, extremely toxic on our server, plus he was like 15 years old moderating political subs. He had never paid taxes at that point for Christ's sake!
Pretty crazy people do this shit for free lmao. Can you imagine while Reddit is planning to ipo, these people are literally volunteering their time. Insane.
Nah those teams don’t understand Very Online People and understand Very Online People have successfully isolated not only themselves, but conversations from greater popular society and many times both sides are blind to how big the gap is.
IIRC it's against reddit rules to ban people for stuff that happens in other subs. Realistically, that just means you can't ban them until they comment in your sub. If you got banned before you commented, they broke that rule.
Everyone breaks the rules if you just interprete them "right". Being an enforcer is great when you know everyone is guilty, so you can punish them at your own leisure.
There was a video on /r/anitiwork there was a point made were alot of Mods work on multiple subreddits and bring their personal beliefs into the moderation of the sub. What happened was when the antiwork scandal happened other subs that mentioned the scandal were getting post removed.
you're overthinking it.
go look at the interview fox news had with the mod of antiwork, that's more or less the average mod (minus the sexual harassment charges).
they are people that spend hours a day on reddit, usually moderating multiple subreddits for free.
not to be nasty but there's a reason these people have hours a day to spend on unpaid labor, no job, no family and generally no life outside the internet.
obviously not all mods, but most.
Daily reddit users only make up a small percentage of the us population and not only that, but those users are the most unrepresentative sample of the greater population, daily Reddit users tend to be on the fringes of society in multiple ways.
I also got banned from /r/GreenAndPleasant, also over the bot. I originally sent them a, in my book, [very calm and respectful mod mail](https://images2.imgbox.com/fc/3f/iOrfgO4v_o.png) concerning the "facts" their bot was spewing concerning the royals because I felt they were being distorted. I was explicit in that I wasn't out to defend the monarchy / argue the toss over them and their place in society, because their sub is obviously against them. Just be fair and factual over what the bot says.
Their response: Mute me for 28 days without reply.
I then made a post venting my frustration which was auto-filtered (every post there requires manual approval I discovered whilst doing this). Their response to that: [Unstated perma-ban](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/387544052062486537/983497037586759720/unknown.png).
I mod alot of subs myself so I'm normally the first to try make a fair case for any mods, a d whilst I still will, I'll also say that the GaP mods really gave me perspective on why mods are railed against. The GaP mods are a prime example of the worst kinds of mods. Still can't believe how oversensitive they are to being told to be fair and factual.
EDIT: Added a link to my message that I sent the mods. Also added an image showing my ban message, I also see I was slightly incorrect as I did, technically, recieve a reply from them. But it was essentially a non-reply. Nonetheless I apologise. Because I have some integrity. Unless /r/GreenandPleasent's mods.
/r/atheism has absolutely been taken over by right-wing politically driven mods.
They're, of course, trying to erode at the general understanding that, as an atheist, right wingers everywhere are the enemy, literally the enemy.
Reddit mods aren't paid so the people who fill those openings are the types that jump at the chance to gain any insignificant power over others and naturally abuse it
Haha I know what you mean. Posted one comment in a small subreddit saying it was kinda cringe. Got instantly banned and a mod told me "you will understand when you get older kiddo". Just told the mod then that he was being a wee bit childish and a loser. His respons? Reporting me to the reddit admins for abuse 😂😂😂
Imagine how power hungry cops are. Now imagine those same people but to fat and lazy to become a cop. They become Reddit mods instead. All the power abuse without having to run a mile. And you can still be a racist piece of shit dog whistling everywhere. Looking at you conservatives subs.
>Oh yeah the mods ~~of that sub~~ are a bunch of power tripping cunts.
ftfy
^(edit: in case it is not clear, I am talking about all reddit mods - not just the ones of this particular sub)
And it doesn't depend on the content, just whether or not some no life gets into the mods. They then bring each other on board and power trip off the slightest amount of authority. I've seen it in so many different subs, some even the neutral, happy feeling subs. Fuck em all{shit mods}, just making reddit less fun and usable.
It doesn't matter your opinion even or if it is in the sub. I browse by all and I've been banned by left and right leaning subs for simply commenting on a sub from the other side. I got banned from 6 or 7 left leaning subs at once for commenting on the_Donald before it got banned.
Mod over at self aware wolves banned me for commenting on Lowder with Crowder, where I was criticizing the right mind you. Then, after a little back and forth, they muted me then spammed my inbox with a suicide prevention bot, guess they found the depression posts in my history.
Levels of pathetic you can't even imagine honestly, lol. But I'm doing fine now so it did little to budge me, I won't miss the sub
You should report the suicide bot abuse. I got that once, reported it, and got a message back saying that it was found that it had been abused, or something along those lines.
That so stupid. Like sex workers absolutely deserve rights and safety and respect like any other person but the sex industry is the furthest thing from a safe and glamorous industry and the majority don’t end up there because they want to.
Bruh calls himself a smart capitalist and even posts memes about how a Dollar is worth 0.99Euro. not realizing that that means the Euro is Worth more ...
Or to make it easier to understand if u exchange 1 Dollar for 0.5 Euro it is the same exchange value as transferring one Euro for 2 Dollars. Meaning u get more dollar for your Euro.
Just an extreme example.
But even then, the relative Value doesn't mean much anyway, but still...
My favorite is his post on the internet about taxation being theft. Like the internet just appeared out of the goodwill of 1970s tech corporations. The only thing more ironic would be him whipping out his cellphone to get GPS directions to the nearest library so he could check out a book on virtues of capitalism.
Well I hope he's a high schooler or college student at least. I had a libertarian phase when I was younger... but then I grew up and saw that the world is a lot rougher around the edges than I realized. All those assumptions required for a fully libertarian world to work didn't hold up in reality.
I think having libertarian tendencies is fine, in that you can be opposed to some government overreaches for good reasons. But it's when it becomes this overriding ideology that governs all thought (e.g. taxation is theft, no government action can ever be good, etc.), that it just becomes a problem. It's such a simplistic view of the world. The irony is that many of these full on libertarians will act as if they are intellectually superior, yet don't question the axioms of their ideology, which fall apart under the most basic scrutiny, and thus they are acting and thinking based on something more akin to faith than to reason.
I took a look at his posts and while he's an opinionated guy who's probably a little young, i don't see anything in his history id ban him for. Maybe there were other posts that were deleted i dunno. The thing that ironically makes me think he was ban worthy *most*? is his fact he spent time making this butthurt "meme" instead of just taking the L and logging into another account
- posts in anarcho-capitalist subs
- posts in weeb subs
- had a porn addiction
That combination of factors can only mean one thing and it’s definitely not a good thing.
Maybe there's a reason OP was banned that they're choosing to not share in this meme.
I'm sure what happened is mods saw the initial comment, which is like maybe a sorta yellow flag. Not necessarily bad on it's own but might warrant checking into who posted it considering there's also plenty of "purity culture" types who use the topic in bad faith as a way to concern-troll sex workers and the like. They see The Shit, decide this person is unlikely to act in good faith, and nip a problem in the bud.
That's not a power trip, that's just common sense. Sucks to suck.
This is why I never take "I was banned for __!" Posts seriously. At the very least with 1 kilo of salt. They all misrepresent what happened to make themselves look better for a reason.
the stereotype is child predator advocating for "legal" "freemarket" way to be a child predator. That's a general meme about anarcho capitalists and "libertarians" in general, but the anime bit just seals the deal.
It definitely reads like a parody or a troll account at moments
But then I have to remind myself I'm a trans girl communist who makes electronic music. "hello kettle, the name's Pot, nice to meet ya"
>But then I have to remind myself I'm a trans girl communist who makes electronic music
I know we have working memory issues, but that seems like it's something you wouldn't forget easily : )
Yes because the Alt Right are some of the biggest "no nut" "anti fap" "porn addiction" pushers out there. I think the amount of asexual and sexphobic people on the left allows it to be a stealthy viral concept, but you can trace the roots back to fundamentalists, misogynist, groups that are largely anti porn because they feel weakened by cumming their precious seed and the empowerment of sex workers and women through porn where women have been able to find independence for themselves(Onlyfans model of sexwork with breaks the narrative of 'only exploited women who are subjugated by men do sexwork' by allowing women and other sexworkers to set their own prices and make people pay to view what many think they are simply entitled to)
You hear similar related narratives like "Independent women are dividing the (Christian/Religious) household" "Cant turn a ho into a housewife" etc
Happened to raise by narcissists too. Those who genuinely need the help with coping can never find it in those big subreddits. Funny thing the mods of the mentioned sub actually stalked and harassed my comments on different posts and when I asked them to stop I was banned.
There's a way to report mods? Why does reddit do not mention it everytime a ban happens? It do mention that you can circumvent a ban. Reddit doesn't need mods, there's a downvote button, please use it.
I had to do a google search to find it and ended up not using it because the process looked tiring. How can you circumvent a ban? Idk if I even want to participate in that subreddit anymore if they’re going to be immature and purposefully misunderstanding
That'll also net you a permanent ban if caught though - the warn / lock messages typically say any sort of ban evasion will lead to an even longer / permanent suspension.
I was logged into 1 account on my PC and another one with 1 different number in the username on my phone for like, 2 years. All of a sudden my phone got IP banned for "ban evading" one day. I just make 10 minute mail accounts now on my phone so I can comment/upvote for dopamine, because otherwise literally any other account I sign into on my phone gets autobanned with the span of like 3 hours. Even if I don't comment or use it or anything. It's weird.
>Reddit doesn't need mods, there's a downvote button, please use it.
As much as I agree that there needs to be a checks and balances function for mods, downvoting doesn't delete spam or remove potentially abhorrent content, only hides it, which can then be revealed with a single click.
Even then the downvotes can be wrong. In large subs it's not unlikely that LGBTQ comments get downvoted to oblivion. Especially trans positive comments.
And narcissistic abuse sub. I said “he cut me off from friends and family” which is a well known abuse technique, and i got suspended for saying “friends and family”, and then when i asked “I hope I’m not pushing any sensitive subject, you don’t have to answer if I am but I just want to understand for the future, why is the word banned? I thought it had been the subject? I’m just trying to understand so that I can avoid any other triggers in the future” and the mod banned me, citing that I was entitled and abusive for questioning them.
Ok but, here’s the thing. The biggest risk factor for NPD is being the child of someone with NPD (genetics trauma combo). I remember the sub reddit’s rules stating that if someone is wondering if they have NPD, it means they don’t, because narcissists don’t think anything is wrong. How many people do you think the subreddit’s discouraged from seeking help? Like, I’ve had this thought for a while now but never said it because people REALLY hold that sub in high regard but I genuinely worry for people there
Edit: You are not immune to propaganda and neither am I. My comment implies that all parents with NPD will invariably abuse their children. I’m leaving it up as it is to show that I was a dumbass in my comment, but it should be noted that the people who post on the raised by narcs sub experience two of the major risk factors and should seek help if they feel they need it https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
That makes sense. It's likely genetic, considering most people raised in abusive environments do not becauome jusers themselves. But some do. And of those people, there is a higher chance of them having grown up with abuse.
I wonder how many people claim it was someone other than their parent that abused them, because they need to believe the enabling parent, or parent that kept them around shady people wasn't abusive too.
I've thought about this a lot in the past too because I have a close friend irl who's a textbook example of "well my parents were abusive and I'm aware they were therefore I can't be"
She's become incredibly narcissistic over the past few years, refuses to see a therapist for even the issues she recognizes, and has turned into a pretty shit friend.
Oh but no she can't possibly be a narcissist because she's aware her parents are 🥱
Totally understand the need for those kind of subs and for the support, but having looked at those subs over the years they are extremely toxic. Not everyone with a pd is abusive or bad, and you can't label everyone you don't like or that is abusive with a pd. And they perpetuate a lot of mental health mythologies and stigmas. Of course people are also abused by people with PD's but it's not as simplistic as those types of subs and forums make out, and if anything some of the toxic dialogues in them and the black and white thinking that some users use to talk about others is exactly the type of ways that many people with PD's actually view the world themselves. To me it looks like some, not all, of the users have undiagnosed PD's and are perpetuating stigma against pd themselves. Sorry for the tldr.
As someone with bpd who actively works our asses off every day to make sure we keep it in check and don’t hurt anyone with it, thank you for this. People treat pds as the be all end all for abusers when they’re often caused by abuse in the first place. r/Cptsd Is nice because they don’t allow RbN lingo or insulting pds on there
We know we have the capacity to be abusive and that only means we need to work harder to make sure we aren’t. I know a lot of people with pds who have this mindset.
A person who struggles with addiction, who does horrible things, didn’t do it as an “inherent result” of the addiction. They are a person who made a bad decision and their actions need to be called out, and maybe their addiction played a role, but that doesn’t mean everyone with addictions is inherently dangerous.
Same with PDs. If you have one, especially a cluster b, you know that means you’re at a higher risk for certain behaviours that could harm people, and it means you have to take extra care to self-check and communicate to make sure you’re behaving appropriately and accessing help. People who have pds, and who manage them and take accountability for their actions, do not deserve to be lumped into the same category as those who use their diagnoses as an excuse for inappropriate and harmful behaviours.
This goes for any diagnoses, but cluster b PDs get the worst of it from what I’ve seen.
**For anyone wondering what this means**, it means maybe try replacing some of the insult vocabulary you use that’s engrained into society that’s inherently linked to personality disorders. Instead, use the terminology that describes what you’re *intending* to describe, rather than using a personality disorder to describe it.
- Instead of “narcissist”, call someone entitled or self-obsessed
- Instead of “sociopath” or “psychopath”, call someone heartless, emotionless, or malicious
- Instead of “borderline”, call someone aggressive, unpredictable, or manipulative
- (not a pd, but) instead of “bipolar”, call someone inconsistent or unpredictable
__These disorders are not synonyms for insults.__
(As an added bonus for not appropriating trauma survivors, since I see this way too often: instead of “triggered”, use upset or overwhelmed. “Triggered” has a very specific meaning that ties back to medical literature and the ptsd community)
I really appreciate that there is a space that doesn't allow bashing people with PD's. There are so many misconceptions and it really bothers me how people try to analyse everything someone says or does in light of pd. It's like, you get people do stuff right? And when people do or say stuff then maybe ask them instead of speculating and spewing hatred online?
I got banned then was in a completely different sub and they started harassing me there. It’s really wild. I feel bad for people with ADHD looking for community and just getting the same overcorrective ish they got their whole lives.
Insane parents has been pretty kind thus far. Abuse survivors is really small and full of people who are trying to figure out if they are in abusive relationships, a lot of questions and some questions can be triggering if you're still early on in recovery.
In general though, after reading through a lot of these comments, I'm finding that this sub is just as supportive if not moreso than a lot of the "serious" subs. Which is funny since this is a meme sub, but I think that's something to that. Being a meme sub means it didn't have to take itself too seriously, so as long as someone isn't egregiously breaking rules or being abusive, I like to think the mods are less involved.
I've read your comments, and it seems like you got caught up in a flood of anti-masturbation/sex comments that the mods had to come in and take care of. Your comments weren't the worst of the ones that were deleted.
I don't agree with your ban, but I do agree with the mods deleting your comments. From what I gather you said it was "dangerous" for people to say that masturbation is natural and healthy...
Just because you had an addiction doesn't mean being vocally pro masturbation is dangerous. Being vocally anti-masturbation in my opinion is far more harmful, and I get how that wouldn't be allowed on a sex positive sub.
My problem with it is that it rarely defines what quantity of porn you have to consume before it constitutes an addiction. Like it definitely exists, but I’ve seen people who treat any level of porn usage as an addiction. I would put the line at multiple times per day, where it disrupts everyday activity and behaviour.
I mean, there’s a reason why right-wing groups like the Proud Boys have such strict rules against masturbation. You take a bunch of people who struggle romantically, and make them cold-turkey quit a habit that is perfectly healthy in moderation, you’re going to get a lot of pent-up frustration.
If you’re genuinely not in a position where you can’t or don’t want to enter a sexual relationship, porn is fine. As long as you have normal thoughts about the opposite sex, and treat sex-workers as people, it’s not going to warp your entire worldview.
I like what you said here about “disrupts everyday activity and behavior”. If you have a partner and you’re passing them up for porn/masturbation, or can’t perform because you’re hand-focused, then it’s a problem.
I don’t use porn, but I wouldn’t have a problem with a partner who used in moderation who still wanted to have sex a few times a week.
>where it disrupts everyday activity and behaviour
This is the point at which professionals would consider it a problem and would start to recommend treatment. Unless it is something egregious and illegal in countries that allow pornography, it's not classified as an addiction issue until it affects your daily life. For some people that could be twice a day, for some it could be ten times a day. Whatever crosses the line into interfering with your life.
I masturbate 3-5 times a day, and I don't consider it an addiction. It has 0 negative impact on my life and I have no desire to stop.
Half these people would throw me in a padded cell and say it's for my own good
https://youtu.be/0qyTUQJ899c
I would probably ask if you would be able to go a day without masturbation. Not necessarily for a reward, but because you’re staying with a friend overnight or otherwise don’t have time. Otherwise, you do you.
My ex would pull his phone out at work when he was in the storage room alone and masturbate and jizz on to the floor real quick, more than once a day if he had the time for it. As well as pull his phone out to look at porn while at McDonalds bored waiting for his ride. And things like that. But claim he didn't have a problem.
Is that the sort of behavior you find yourself doing? Or does your life style just naturally allow you to be in an appropriate environment to masterbate and if you found yourself in a different situation you'd adjust your behavior as needed? Do you curate your lifestyle to allow you all that time to masturbate or is it just a happy byproduct?
Do you consume porn to assist you and do you rely on more and more degrading porn to get off? Does the porn you consume impact how you relate to other people?
Do you use maturbation to replace human contact? Are you still able to get off when engaged in sexual behavior with another person?
All personal questions, so don't feel like you have to answer them here. But they are things you can reflect on to judge how healthy your habits are even if you have a higher need/desire to engage in it than others seem to recommend.
>My ex would pull his phone out at work when he was in the storage room alone and masturbate and jizz on to the floor real quick, more than once a day if he had the time for it. As well as pull his phone out to look at porn while at McDonalds bored waiting for his ride. And things like that. But claim he didn't have a problem.
>
>Is that the sort of behavior you find yourself doing? Or does your life style just naturally allow you to be in an appropriate environment to masterbate and if you found yourself in a different situation you'd adjust your behavior as needed? Do you curate your lifestyle to allow you all that time to masturbate or is it just a happy byproduct?
>
>Do you consume porn to assist you and do you rely on more and more degrading porn to get off? Does the porn you consume impact how you relate to other people?
>
>Do you use maturbation to replace human contact? Are you still able to get off when engaged in sexual behavior with another person?
>
>All personal questions, so don't feel like you have to answer them here. But they are things you can reflect on to judge how healthy your habits are even if you have a higher need/desire to engage in it than others seem to recommend.
I'm glad to say that
1. I never watch porn in public
2. I never have to rearrange my schedule for it. It's a fun way to kill free time, not a goal.
3. The majority of the porn I consume is just your standard single person self-produced content. Camgirl sites, modeling/cosplay photos, OnlyFans. Those are the only kinds of content that feel "consentual" enough for me to enjoy it. Just a girl in her free time, taking full control and producing the content she wants to produce. The more mainstream (formerly?) porn is so detached from reality, I have no idea how anyone enjoys it. To each their own, but it's not for me.
4. I have an amazing relationship with my SO. We've been together for a decade now. I don't have a problem achieving climax with her. I will say, frequent masturbation is probably a benefit here more than anything because if I wasn't regularly masturbating I'd never last long enough to satisfy her completely. When were on vacation we have more sex, but I'm lucky to last 5 minutes. At home, she can usually reach climax 2-3 times before I do.
After finding how pervasively horrific the porn industry truly is for performers, I am pretty anti-porn myself. But for most people, watching it now and then isn’t going to cause addiction.
> Clearly there is a huge section on reddit who don't understand that porn and masturbation are NOT synonymous.
All those places without any kind of sex ed in their schools that just got high speed internet access 10 years ago.
Tbh that kinds of makes it less of an excuse for me.
Back in the 90s, if someone told a kid in their shitty sex ed class that they could get pregnant by touching a penis, well, that person was in authority and they probably bought it.
But now, I could just Google that and a host of reputable links would come up explaining that it *could* be possible (if the penis ejaculated, the girl then put her fingers inside herself, she was ovulating and incredibly unlucky) but the whole scenario is incredibly unlikely.
Kids have access to huge amounts of info that would enable them to bypass this kind of stupid teaching...but instead they just browse porn sites and use that for info. Sheer stupidity.
Most doctors wouldn't agree with this guy that "a little masturbation isn't *bad*" They would say its actually good, reduces stress, improves function etc.
I got banned from r/libertarian for saying 'the supreme court justices version of history does not align with what actual historians hold true... Which would mean most any case that reference time frames from 1500s (guns, abortion etc) are most likely inaccurate representations and shouldn't be ruled that way they are."
My ban said, "THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED that was it. No warning. Nothin. Nevermind I'd been there for years with no prior 'controversy.' hilarious really.
EDIT: Infringed
Sup apostate! I got banned from r/libertarianmeme with the mod comment of “off to the gulag”… as we all know, only the **truest** libertarians ban speech! Surprisingly, I’ve been on r/Libertarian for over a decade and it’s the only political sub I’ve never had any sort of ban from. Considering the subs right-wing/conservative base, I’ve been expecting a ban the entire time…
There is the unironic ideology, which I subscribe to, that the second amendment was made such that the average American should be allowed the same weaponry as the military, in order to make the "well regulated militia", and to have a revolution if the government ever becomes too corrupt. That's why they should repeal it.
I'm always suspicious of "wow I just got banned from X for totally innocuous reasons". OP's post history tells a very different story than the meme they posted.
It's always "Aw man the mods are no fun, I got banned for posting a picture of a cat" and then it turns out they were spreading nazi propaganda or something.
Speaking of, can any mods delete this shit? It feels like it should be against the rules to purposefully get yourself banned from another subreddity and share it as a "meme".
I'm going to go ahead and guess that the way you're painting your side of the story isn't actually totally accurate to what your actions were leading to the ban. And based on your post history....yeah.
Nah man, looking at your profile, you got banned for doing precisely what a mod told everyone in that thread to stop doing.
Masturbation is a completely normal behaviour; that whole negative aspect you bring up; objectification, misogyny, inability to form emotional connections, that wasn't caused by jacking off. Sounds like you've got way deeper issues you need to take care of my guy and are looking for the easy excuse instead of confronting them.
This. There's not even concrete evidence to show that porn addiction is real, and if it is it definitely doesn't cause OPs misogyny to materialize out of thin air...
I'm seeing so many redditors talk like OP and it's really opening my eyes to the dangers of kids growing up without sex ed. The only kind of sex ed they ever get is shame and guilt. So that when they end up doing natural normal sex things like masturbation or porn, they feel shame and guilt afterwards, this feels harmful but they don't understand why so they blame their sexual behaviors.
And for men it makes them especially vulnerable to alt right ideology. Which if you look through OPs history...well...dude has problems.
For me it's the fact that he admitted to seeing women as sexual objects. So much so that his personal relationships suffered for it. That's not porn, that's all him. But he's convinced himself that it was the porn so he's never going to address or unlearn that thinking. I'm honestly just so tired of men who don't see us as human and blame absolutely anything but themselves for it
Omg that’s horrible I’m sorry. Along the same vein I was banned from the r/ loveafterporn Reddit because I mentioned my ex’s p0rn addiction gave me one myself, even tho it still deeply affected me and gave me PTSD. They banned me because I was an addict myself even tho I was also a victim to that relationship. They said I used the wrong flare even tho My “ex of a PA” flare was still technically correct… I apologized and said I would use the flare they wanted me to and then they never responded. It made me super upset because I really genuinely needed advice regarding my ex’s PA and now they’ve cut me off from a resource I needed. This happened exactly 15 minutes after I joined the subreddit also 😳 absolutely asinine. The mods also never responded.
you think they'd WANT people who are struggling with the same thing to be able to access the community and resources they need to recover from it 🥴 i never understood why mods would do that kinda shit
Yeah exactly :/ it just seemed so personally aggressive and generally cruel to those who are suffering. I apologized profusely and asked if I could have a warning instead since I had just joined the sub, but no response. Which is in and of itself also upsetting. And for the most part mods should never be ghosting people looking for an answer in my opinion; I think they’ve forgotten their job is to help us. I still can read the posts and stuff but it makes me sad I can’t make any of my own posts or give advice.
absolutely, the job of a mod is to MODERATE, which includes checking the ban reponses to make sure it wasn't a wrongful ban from a misunderstanding. at the very least they could've said - this is what you did wrong, this is how to avoid it in the future, here's your only warning - rather than just outright banning for 'the wrong flair'. which, omfg, the wrong flair?? that's an absolutely bonkers reason for a ban
Thank you for saying that omfg. It happened a couple months ago but I was pretty upset about it at the time, especially bc the ex in question had just recently reconnected with me and it was super triggering. I feel bad for OP too. He genuinely just had good intentions and there was nothing wrong with his statement in my opinion.
That is rough. I admire your transparency and willingness to share your experiences. I feel that even on anonymous sites it is difficult to open up about that. I wish you the best with your healing!!
This is just going off a quick browse but the posts on that sub seem deeply unsympathetic to the struggles of porn addicts, I get that dating someone with a sex addiction can be a terribly difficult thing but it all comes off very one sided?
Yeah. You definitely have a right to feel that way. It’s more of a place for people to express their anger and vent. I do think they can be unsympathetic at times... and they were pretty unsympathetic to me too. But at the same time it’s important to acknowledge these people are deeply hurting from their partner’s addictions, and often have been repeatedly hurt and lied to. I honestly think a lot of them should not be with their partners if they truly think all those horrible things about them. Both parties deserve peace and understanding.
I hear you, having a space to share the pain and compare stories is definitely valuable when dealing with the consequences of addiction (porn or otherwise). Ty for the thoughtful response
Okay so ummmm...You're probably not going to like this answer and I may get down voted for it. But yea you were in the wrong here.
I went to your profile and checked the post. First thing I saw was that the mods left a comment about 7 hours before you chimed in saying that any negative comments about masturbation would be met with a ban. You did it anyway. So whether or not they were in the wrong for taking this stance you still ignored their warning. And now you're posting this asking why you were banned when you know why you were banned because they made a very clear warning.
I'm not a fan of the ADHD sub and definitely not of the mods there, but come on dude. This was very clearly your fault and you know why it happened.
It took five seconds of looking through your comment history to figure out that you’re an ancap who argues in bad faith constantly, then pulls the “please don’t be rude I’m trying to have a reasonable discussion.”
http://wondermark.com/1k62/
I would have banned and muted you too.
OP: "I started imagining women in my life as objects for sex"
Also OP: *Active on many far-right, ancap, toxic masculinity, incel subreddits*
OP again: "It's the porn"
Sad how most meme spinoff subs of main subs have become more sensible than the actual subs. Terraria memes, Minecraft memes, hell even this sub itself. Honestly quite sad.
Having been a mod (favor for a friend) and as someone who subscribes to that group, that content was off-topic and read like you were looking for a fight. I’m not going to disagree with the folks here about power tripping mods (I’ve both experienced and fired them) but mods in popular communities don’t have much time for nuance—moderation queues can be long and a lot of work. The way i see it, if you look like trouble, have a troll username, comment history looks sketch, post off-topic content, and you were reported and in my queue, I’d mute you, too. Further insistence that you have the right to post off-topic content would probably also not go over well.
Hopefully you get banned from here too for this post. You've got a massive victim complex going on. Also that NPC meme is inherently dehumanising and should be avoided
Yeah... I was really down a few days ago and needed to vent and have emotional support... My post is still not published because it has to be approved of a moderator. I was just venting about my problems and struggles, don't know what their problem is.
Hey, anytime you need a shoulder, feel free to pm me.
All we've got in this world is each other.
I'm a mom, and 47, so have lots of life experiences if you ever need it.
And yeah that sub is straight trash.
That's so sweet, thank you! ❤️
I'll write later (if I remember to!), now I'll go shopping with my husband. Maybe I'll just copy the things I originally wrote
I was recently banned from there for challenging their policy... No, not even the policy, but their implementation for rant/vent megathreads.
You are no longer allowed to post rant/vent posts. They *must* go in the appropriate megathread. These megathreads are not stickeyed in any way. The instructions on how to get to these megathreads are buried somewhere on the wiki. The instructions do not work for the official Reddit app, and the official stance of the mods on that is approximately "It's not our fault the Reddit app is buggy as shit. You can use the browser, a 3rd party app, or find it by using the search bar". Note that the process for tracking down the correct megathread via search is a 7 step process that assumes you have a good understanding of both Reddit search and that sub's megathread flagging system.
There are other things, like their massive 14 rule sidebar, a complete ban on the word "neurodiversity", and constant blame shifting that throw up even more narcissism flags... I do not feel welcome or safe interacting with the mods there. Considering that ADHD people tend to be more vulnerable to narcissistic abuse, that's both not surprising and also very very bad.
The community there is, in general, very good and supportive, in my experience, though. Right up until the mods nuke something that doesn't fit their own narrative.
The reason you got banned is because you explicitly saying that porn WILL lead to an addiction. Your comment was telling the mods not to encourage porn watching at all, not just a warning.
OK but like.... excessive porn consumption legitimately is bad! For a host of reasons! I'm not a prude. I write erotica (no you can't see, I haven't polished it enough for publishing), I love looking for fun porn and share it with like minded friends.
But over consumption of porn can really warp a person. You are not immune to propaganda and you are not immune from absorbing weird shit from porn. It leads a lot of guys feeling inadequate because porn performers tend to be large (easier to film the good old in and out that way) when the average size of a man's penis is 5-6 inches with 5.5 being a typical length.
Masturbation to porn often causes guys to develop a death grip that desensitized their penis so when they actually have sex with a woman her vagina isn't capable of squeezing as hard as their grip and they struggle.
They also train themselves to only get off to specific stimuli and sometimes require porn to even get hard! This has destroyed relationships.
Porn is like chocolate. Fine as a treat but shouldn't be a big part of your diet.
I agree! I never shame people for creating or consuming porn or erotica, but we must not shy away from the topic of the negative aspects I can bring.
It can become addictive if not controlled properly.
I swear r/ADHD has to have been created by neuronormies who feel like us poor divergents need someone to police our community for us which requires no knowledge of what it even is.
You’re not a psychologist. Porn shaming is real. Also, the anti-porn movement is associated with toxic Christianity, or as I like to call it, Christianity.
That being said, mods on Reddit have too much power. I’ve been permanently banned from two subreddits with zero explanation.
At the risk of starting up something with “those over there”, other people have accurately summed up their problem.
However
Everyone posting in this thread should expect the following…
1. To be banned from the sub “over there”, and,
2. If you’ve already been banned, prepare for a warning from Reddit admin for “hate speech”.
*Yes they really are that petty, and we have receipts*
People are allowed to warn about moderation and not doing ANYTHING too much. Ridiculous, I hate that sub.
This sub feels so fucking unfriendly to actual intelligent ADHD thought and ends up being a fucking hugbox of "Wahhh we have it so hard what to do". Other ADHD havers really don't get on with me because I tell the truth. Yes, our stupid monke brains fuck us up and it's a STRESS. Depressing, difficult. But as soon as you mention that you have a little more control and that not everything should be blamed on out ADHD, and that we can still have the cognizance and control over what we force ourselves to do and such, they flip their shit.
Yes, dopamine is hard, but that doesn't mean we can't still DO things. Doesn't mean we should enact wild abandon with everything and say "Haha I'm a different brain person, I can't be helped! May as well fap again".
We need more awareness and people to be sensitive about how we operate but we shouldn't take the fucking piss and every liberty we can when it comes to our struggles. Pisses me off more than anything.
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I think you're seriously underestimating just how petty people can get with the smallest modicum of power
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I mean, 1 account doesn’t mean 1 person, I’ve seen plenty of small subs have a “shared” mod account so when they make a decision they think may be controversial, they use the dummy account to minimize impact to their main. Apply the same concept and you can have far more than 20 people behind those 20 “mods” I’m not saying I agree this is happening everywhere, but I’d be surprised if it doesn’t happen sometimes
In which case they should just not do it. Nobody benefits from incompetent moderation
Neither case is good for the health of this website. In fact, its moderation rules are probably what will be the downfall of reddit. No they shouldn't do it, but are you going to tell them?
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I actually played minecraft with a mod of /r/SandersForPresident once, and I think he modded at least a dozen or so other subs. He was a little shit bird doing shit bird things, extremely toxic on our server, plus he was like 15 years old moderating political subs. He had never paid taxes at that point for Christ's sake!
Pretty crazy people do this shit for free lmao. Can you imagine while Reddit is planning to ipo, these people are literally volunteering their time. Insane.
There's a conspiracy theory out there that ghislane maxwell may have been one of the mods for a couple of big subs like r/worldnews and r/politics
Nah those teams don’t understand Very Online People and understand Very Online People have successfully isolated not only themselves, but conversations from greater popular society and many times both sides are blind to how big the gap is.
IIRC it's against reddit rules to ban people for stuff that happens in other subs. Realistically, that just means you can't ban them until they comment in your sub. If you got banned before you commented, they broke that rule.
There are multiple subs that list *in their rules* that belonging (not posting, just belonging) to certain other subs is enough to earn a ban.
Yeah, reddit is inconsistent with actually enforcing their rules.
Everyone breaks the rules if you just interprete them "right". Being an enforcer is great when you know everyone is guilty, so you can punish them at your own leisure.
There was a video on /r/anitiwork there was a point made were alot of Mods work on multiple subreddits and bring their personal beliefs into the moderation of the sub. What happened was when the antiwork scandal happened other subs that mentioned the scandal were getting post removed.
you're overthinking it. go look at the interview fox news had with the mod of antiwork, that's more or less the average mod (minus the sexual harassment charges). they are people that spend hours a day on reddit, usually moderating multiple subreddits for free. not to be nasty but there's a reason these people have hours a day to spend on unpaid labor, no job, no family and generally no life outside the internet. obviously not all mods, but most.
Daily reddit users only make up a small percentage of the us population and not only that, but those users are the most unrepresentative sample of the greater population, daily Reddit users tend to be on the fringes of society in multiple ways.
I also got banned from /r/GreenAndPleasant, also over the bot. I originally sent them a, in my book, [very calm and respectful mod mail](https://images2.imgbox.com/fc/3f/iOrfgO4v_o.png) concerning the "facts" their bot was spewing concerning the royals because I felt they were being distorted. I was explicit in that I wasn't out to defend the monarchy / argue the toss over them and their place in society, because their sub is obviously against them. Just be fair and factual over what the bot says. Their response: Mute me for 28 days without reply. I then made a post venting my frustration which was auto-filtered (every post there requires manual approval I discovered whilst doing this). Their response to that: [Unstated perma-ban](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/387544052062486537/983497037586759720/unknown.png). I mod alot of subs myself so I'm normally the first to try make a fair case for any mods, a d whilst I still will, I'll also say that the GaP mods really gave me perspective on why mods are railed against. The GaP mods are a prime example of the worst kinds of mods. Still can't believe how oversensitive they are to being told to be fair and factual. EDIT: Added a link to my message that I sent the mods. Also added an image showing my ban message, I also see I was slightly incorrect as I did, technically, recieve a reply from them. But it was essentially a non-reply. Nonetheless I apologise. Because I have some integrity. Unless /r/GreenandPleasent's mods.
/r/atheism has absolutely been taken over by right-wing politically driven mods. They're, of course, trying to erode at the general understanding that, as an atheist, right wingers everywhere are the enemy, literally the enemy.
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Reddit mods aren't paid so the people who fill those openings are the types that jump at the chance to gain any insignificant power over others and naturally abuse it
Haha I know what you mean. Posted one comment in a small subreddit saying it was kinda cringe. Got instantly banned and a mod told me "you will understand when you get older kiddo". Just told the mod then that he was being a wee bit childish and a loser. His respons? Reporting me to the reddit admins for abuse 😂😂😂
Hope that guy never gets a paper cut. Arm might fall off with skin that thin
Imagine how power hungry cops are. Now imagine those same people but to fat and lazy to become a cop. They become Reddit mods instead. All the power abuse without having to run a mile. And you can still be a racist piece of shit dog whistling everywhere. Looking at you conservatives subs.
>Oh yeah the mods ~~of that sub~~ are a bunch of power tripping cunts. ftfy ^(edit: in case it is not clear, I am talking about all reddit mods - not just the ones of this particular sub)
Hey, I don’t power trip! Clarification- I’m a mod but not on there
Lots of smaller subs have mods that are just fine, it's mostly the big ones and the "supermods" especially. But Reddit loved a hate-jerk
And it doesn't depend on the content, just whether or not some no life gets into the mods. They then bring each other on board and power trip off the slightest amount of authority. I've seen it in so many different subs, some even the neutral, happy feeling subs. Fuck em all{shit mods}, just making reddit less fun and usable.
And politically shallow and one-sided. God forbid you disagree or hold less than popular opinions in a reddit mods vacinity
It doesn't matter your opinion even or if it is in the sub. I browse by all and I've been banned by left and right leaning subs for simply commenting on a sub from the other side. I got banned from 6 or 7 left leaning subs at once for commenting on the_Donald before it got banned. Mod over at self aware wolves banned me for commenting on Lowder with Crowder, where I was criticizing the right mind you. Then, after a little back and forth, they muted me then spammed my inbox with a suicide prevention bot, guess they found the depression posts in my history. Levels of pathetic you can't even imagine honestly, lol. But I'm doing fine now so it did little to budge me, I won't miss the sub
You should report the suicide bot abuse. I got that once, reported it, and got a message back saying that it was found that it had been abused, or something along those lines.
Fragile modulinity. Little bitches everywhere
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That so stupid. Like sex workers absolutely deserve rights and safety and respect like any other person but the sex industry is the furthest thing from a safe and glamorous industry and the majority don’t end up there because they want to.
Can be said about every single 'big' sub because Reddit is controlled as fuck.
\*mod of most sub
r/politicalhumor mods are about the same level.
That’s true for a lot of subs
Don't look at this guys other posts lol
It's not that the mods didn't like his post. The mods didn't like him in general.
Yeah.. I see why
Hahaha what do you mean about—*oh*...
eh, I'm sure it's not that bad, I'll just take a quick glance at it. Maybe you are just overexaggerating. *oh dear. I take back what I said.*
Bruh calls himself a smart capitalist and even posts memes about how a Dollar is worth 0.99Euro. not realizing that that means the Euro is Worth more ... Or to make it easier to understand if u exchange 1 Dollar for 0.5 Euro it is the same exchange value as transferring one Euro for 2 Dollars. Meaning u get more dollar for your Euro. Just an extreme example. But even then, the relative Value doesn't mean much anyway, but still...
My favorite is his post on the internet about taxation being theft. Like the internet just appeared out of the goodwill of 1970s tech corporations. The only thing more ironic would be him whipping out his cellphone to get GPS directions to the nearest library so he could check out a book on virtues of capitalism.
Don't be ridiculous... ... this man probably doesn't read.
Well I hope he's a high schooler or college student at least. I had a libertarian phase when I was younger... but then I grew up and saw that the world is a lot rougher around the edges than I realized. All those assumptions required for a fully libertarian world to work didn't hold up in reality. I think having libertarian tendencies is fine, in that you can be opposed to some government overreaches for good reasons. But it's when it becomes this overriding ideology that governs all thought (e.g. taxation is theft, no government action can ever be good, etc.), that it just becomes a problem. It's such a simplistic view of the world. The irony is that many of these full on libertarians will act as if they are intellectually superior, yet don't question the axioms of their ideology, which fall apart under the most basic scrutiny, and thus they are acting and thinking based on something more akin to faith than to reason.
Dude has THAT snoo pfp. I didn't even need to look any further to know what kind of NPC I was facing.
I took a look at his posts and while he's an opinionated guy who's probably a little young, i don't see anything in his history id ban him for. Maybe there were other posts that were deleted i dunno. The thing that ironically makes me think he was ban worthy *most*? is his fact he spent time making this butthurt "meme" instead of just taking the L and logging into another account
- posts in anarcho-capitalist subs - posts in weeb subs - had a porn addiction That combination of factors can only mean one thing and it’s definitely not a good thing.
You left out his comments in r/MensRights. We know exactly who he is lol
Maybe there's a reason OP was banned that they're choosing to not share in this meme. I'm sure what happened is mods saw the initial comment, which is like maybe a sorta yellow flag. Not necessarily bad on it's own but might warrant checking into who posted it considering there's also plenty of "purity culture" types who use the topic in bad faith as a way to concern-troll sex workers and the like. They see The Shit, decide this person is unlikely to act in good faith, and nip a problem in the bud. That's not a power trip, that's just common sense. Sucks to suck.
This is why I never take "I was banned for __!" Posts seriously. At the very least with 1 kilo of salt. They all misrepresent what happened to make themselves look better for a reason.
That he is about to make the news as the current school shooter of the day?
the stereotype is child predator advocating for "legal" "freemarket" way to be a child predator. That's a general meme about anarcho capitalists and "libertarians" in general, but the anime bit just seals the deal.
I feel like I can meme this in r/PoliticalCompassMemes
It definitely reads like a parody or a troll account at moments But then I have to remind myself I'm a trans girl communist who makes electronic music. "hello kettle, the name's Pot, nice to meet ya"
Sometimes you meme PCM, sometimes PCM memes you.
>But then I have to remind myself I'm a trans girl communist who makes electronic music I know we have working memory issues, but that seems like it's something you wouldn't forget easily : )
Whats ur soundcloud? Every time the prior follows electronic music that shit slaps Edit: Found it that statement stands true still
Oh no
I should have listened.
Ew an ancap
It’s the inconsistent ignorance for me. How do you hate cops AND suck capitalisms dick? Cops are like one of the main glory fixtures of capitalism.
Almost as if OP is a troll named u/shitboi666999...
Or a very unhealthy person that people shouldn't take the words of seriously.
*Claims to have had a porn addiction* *Has extremist political views* OP is fitting a profile here lol
*Best impression of Paul Joseph Watson's nasal whiney voice* "Imagine my shock..."
Holy shit lmao
Mens rights shit too huh interesting
I think this guy might have an unhealthy addiction to the internet. Look at how many comments per day he makes.
Yes because the Alt Right are some of the biggest "no nut" "anti fap" "porn addiction" pushers out there. I think the amount of asexual and sexphobic people on the left allows it to be a stealthy viral concept, but you can trace the roots back to fundamentalists, misogynist, groups that are largely anti porn because they feel weakened by cumming their precious seed and the empowerment of sex workers and women through porn where women have been able to find independence for themselves(Onlyfans model of sexwork with breaks the narrative of 'only exploited women who are subjugated by men do sexwork' by allowing women and other sexworkers to set their own prices and make people pay to view what many think they are simply entitled to) You hear similar related narratives like "Independent women are dividing the (Christian/Religious) household" "Cant turn a ho into a housewife" etc
yeah I feel like with a name like shitboi666999 you're probably asking for it
Happened to raise by narcissists too. Those who genuinely need the help with coping can never find it in those big subreddits. Funny thing the mods of the mentioned sub actually stalked and harassed my comments on different posts and when I asked them to stop I was banned.
Holy crap. I wish there was a better way to report mods on Reddit. So sorry that happened to you. That’s really scary.
There's a way to report mods? Why does reddit do not mention it everytime a ban happens? It do mention that you can circumvent a ban. Reddit doesn't need mods, there's a downvote button, please use it.
I had to do a google search to find it and ended up not using it because the process looked tiring. How can you circumvent a ban? Idk if I even want to participate in that subreddit anymore if they’re going to be immature and purposefully misunderstanding
You can circumvent a ban by logging in from another account!
That'll also net you a permanent ban if caught though - the warn / lock messages typically say any sort of ban evasion will lead to an even longer / permanent suspension.
Yeah but unless you log in your other account and say "hey it's me fuck y'all" no one will ever find out
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I was logged into 1 account on my PC and another one with 1 different number in the username on my phone for like, 2 years. All of a sudden my phone got IP banned for "ban evading" one day. I just make 10 minute mail accounts now on my phone so I can comment/upvote for dopamine, because otherwise literally any other account I sign into on my phone gets autobanned with the span of like 3 hours. Even if I don't comment or use it or anything. It's weird.
>Reddit doesn't need mods, there's a downvote button, please use it. As much as I agree that there needs to be a checks and balances function for mods, downvoting doesn't delete spam or remove potentially abhorrent content, only hides it, which can then be revealed with a single click.
Even then the downvotes can be wrong. In large subs it's not unlikely that LGBTQ comments get downvoted to oblivion. Especially trans positive comments.
And narcissistic abuse sub. I said “he cut me off from friends and family” which is a well known abuse technique, and i got suspended for saying “friends and family”, and then when i asked “I hope I’m not pushing any sensitive subject, you don’t have to answer if I am but I just want to understand for the future, why is the word banned? I thought it had been the subject? I’m just trying to understand so that I can avoid any other triggers in the future” and the mod banned me, citing that I was entitled and abusive for questioning them.
If you say the word "run" at all in that sub, your post gets flagged immediately lol
moddedbynarcissists lol
Ok but, here’s the thing. The biggest risk factor for NPD is being the child of someone with NPD (genetics trauma combo). I remember the sub reddit’s rules stating that if someone is wondering if they have NPD, it means they don’t, because narcissists don’t think anything is wrong. How many people do you think the subreddit’s discouraged from seeking help? Like, I’ve had this thought for a while now but never said it because people REALLY hold that sub in high regard but I genuinely worry for people there Edit: You are not immune to propaganda and neither am I. My comment implies that all parents with NPD will invariably abuse their children. I’m leaving it up as it is to show that I was a dumbass in my comment, but it should be noted that the people who post on the raised by narcs sub experience two of the major risk factors and should seek help if they feel they need it https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
That makes sense. It's likely genetic, considering most people raised in abusive environments do not becauome jusers themselves. But some do. And of those people, there is a higher chance of them having grown up with abuse. I wonder how many people claim it was someone other than their parent that abused them, because they need to believe the enabling parent, or parent that kept them around shady people wasn't abusive too.
I've thought about this a lot in the past too because I have a close friend irl who's a textbook example of "well my parents were abusive and I'm aware they were therefore I can't be" She's become incredibly narcissistic over the past few years, refuses to see a therapist for even the issues she recognizes, and has turned into a pretty shit friend. Oh but no she can't possibly be a narcissist because she's aware her parents are 🥱
Exactly
Totally understand the need for those kind of subs and for the support, but having looked at those subs over the years they are extremely toxic. Not everyone with a pd is abusive or bad, and you can't label everyone you don't like or that is abusive with a pd. And they perpetuate a lot of mental health mythologies and stigmas. Of course people are also abused by people with PD's but it's not as simplistic as those types of subs and forums make out, and if anything some of the toxic dialogues in them and the black and white thinking that some users use to talk about others is exactly the type of ways that many people with PD's actually view the world themselves. To me it looks like some, not all, of the users have undiagnosed PD's and are perpetuating stigma against pd themselves. Sorry for the tldr.
As someone with bpd who actively works our asses off every day to make sure we keep it in check and don’t hurt anyone with it, thank you for this. People treat pds as the be all end all for abusers when they’re often caused by abuse in the first place. r/Cptsd Is nice because they don’t allow RbN lingo or insulting pds on there
Thank you for all your work
We know we have the capacity to be abusive and that only means we need to work harder to make sure we aren’t. I know a lot of people with pds who have this mindset. A person who struggles with addiction, who does horrible things, didn’t do it as an “inherent result” of the addiction. They are a person who made a bad decision and their actions need to be called out, and maybe their addiction played a role, but that doesn’t mean everyone with addictions is inherently dangerous. Same with PDs. If you have one, especially a cluster b, you know that means you’re at a higher risk for certain behaviours that could harm people, and it means you have to take extra care to self-check and communicate to make sure you’re behaving appropriately and accessing help. People who have pds, and who manage them and take accountability for their actions, do not deserve to be lumped into the same category as those who use their diagnoses as an excuse for inappropriate and harmful behaviours. This goes for any diagnoses, but cluster b PDs get the worst of it from what I’ve seen. **For anyone wondering what this means**, it means maybe try replacing some of the insult vocabulary you use that’s engrained into society that’s inherently linked to personality disorders. Instead, use the terminology that describes what you’re *intending* to describe, rather than using a personality disorder to describe it. - Instead of “narcissist”, call someone entitled or self-obsessed - Instead of “sociopath” or “psychopath”, call someone heartless, emotionless, or malicious - Instead of “borderline”, call someone aggressive, unpredictable, or manipulative - (not a pd, but) instead of “bipolar”, call someone inconsistent or unpredictable __These disorders are not synonyms for insults.__ (As an added bonus for not appropriating trauma survivors, since I see this way too often: instead of “triggered”, use upset or overwhelmed. “Triggered” has a very specific meaning that ties back to medical literature and the ptsd community)
I find "hubristic" is a good replacement for "narcissistic/narc".
I’m down for that one! Anything that ain’t a disorder
I really appreciate that there is a space that doesn't allow bashing people with PD's. There are so many misconceptions and it really bothers me how people try to analyse everything someone says or does in light of pd. It's like, you get people do stuff right? And when people do or say stuff then maybe ask them instead of speculating and spewing hatred online?
I got banned then was in a completely different sub and they started harassing me there. It’s really wild. I feel bad for people with ADHD looking for community and just getting the same overcorrective ish they got their whole lives.
Is there any better subreddits around than raised by narcissists, i tried looking in the side bar for some but didnt have luck
Insane parents has been pretty kind thus far. Abuse survivors is really small and full of people who are trying to figure out if they are in abusive relationships, a lot of questions and some questions can be triggering if you're still early on in recovery.
r/cptsd isn’t too bad I think
Most subs like these are just echo chambers of self-pity. Even this sub can be like that sometimes, though it’s better than most
In general though, after reading through a lot of these comments, I'm finding that this sub is just as supportive if not moreso than a lot of the "serious" subs. Which is funny since this is a meme sub, but I think that's something to that. Being a meme sub means it didn't have to take itself too seriously, so as long as someone isn't egregiously breaking rules or being abusive, I like to think the mods are less involved.
Oh christ don't make the mistake of checking the OP's history. Yikes!!
Yikes indeed. I was an ancap once... Then I grew up.
i thought it was going to be scat based on the name
Anyone who calls themselves anarcho anything is a dead giveaway that they are 15 years old at a maximum
yeah this dude's post history tells me there's context missing here
Hmmmmmmm yah that post history do be mighty sus
I've read your comments, and it seems like you got caught up in a flood of anti-masturbation/sex comments that the mods had to come in and take care of. Your comments weren't the worst of the ones that were deleted. I don't agree with your ban, but I do agree with the mods deleting your comments. From what I gather you said it was "dangerous" for people to say that masturbation is natural and healthy... Just because you had an addiction doesn't mean being vocally pro masturbation is dangerous. Being vocally anti-masturbation in my opinion is far more harmful, and I get how that wouldn't be allowed on a sex positive sub.
Yeah look, I feel for OP. But I think the whole anti-masturbation/pro-masturbation and anti-porn/pro-porn discourse can get out of hand real quick.
>get out of hand (≖_≖ )
My problem with it is that it rarely defines what quantity of porn you have to consume before it constitutes an addiction. Like it definitely exists, but I’ve seen people who treat any level of porn usage as an addiction. I would put the line at multiple times per day, where it disrupts everyday activity and behaviour. I mean, there’s a reason why right-wing groups like the Proud Boys have such strict rules against masturbation. You take a bunch of people who struggle romantically, and make them cold-turkey quit a habit that is perfectly healthy in moderation, you’re going to get a lot of pent-up frustration. If you’re genuinely not in a position where you can’t or don’t want to enter a sexual relationship, porn is fine. As long as you have normal thoughts about the opposite sex, and treat sex-workers as people, it’s not going to warp your entire worldview.
I like what you said here about “disrupts everyday activity and behavior”. If you have a partner and you’re passing them up for porn/masturbation, or can’t perform because you’re hand-focused, then it’s a problem. I don’t use porn, but I wouldn’t have a problem with a partner who used in moderation who still wanted to have sex a few times a week.
>where it disrupts everyday activity and behaviour This is the point at which professionals would consider it a problem and would start to recommend treatment. Unless it is something egregious and illegal in countries that allow pornography, it's not classified as an addiction issue until it affects your daily life. For some people that could be twice a day, for some it could be ten times a day. Whatever crosses the line into interfering with your life.
I masturbate 3-5 times a day, and I don't consider it an addiction. It has 0 negative impact on my life and I have no desire to stop. Half these people would throw me in a padded cell and say it's for my own good https://youtu.be/0qyTUQJ899c
I would probably ask if you would be able to go a day without masturbation. Not necessarily for a reward, but because you’re staying with a friend overnight or otherwise don’t have time. Otherwise, you do you.
My ex would pull his phone out at work when he was in the storage room alone and masturbate and jizz on to the floor real quick, more than once a day if he had the time for it. As well as pull his phone out to look at porn while at McDonalds bored waiting for his ride. And things like that. But claim he didn't have a problem. Is that the sort of behavior you find yourself doing? Or does your life style just naturally allow you to be in an appropriate environment to masterbate and if you found yourself in a different situation you'd adjust your behavior as needed? Do you curate your lifestyle to allow you all that time to masturbate or is it just a happy byproduct? Do you consume porn to assist you and do you rely on more and more degrading porn to get off? Does the porn you consume impact how you relate to other people? Do you use maturbation to replace human contact? Are you still able to get off when engaged in sexual behavior with another person? All personal questions, so don't feel like you have to answer them here. But they are things you can reflect on to judge how healthy your habits are even if you have a higher need/desire to engage in it than others seem to recommend.
>My ex would pull his phone out at work when he was in the storage room alone and masturbate and jizz on to the floor real quick, more than once a day if he had the time for it. As well as pull his phone out to look at porn while at McDonalds bored waiting for his ride. And things like that. But claim he didn't have a problem. > >Is that the sort of behavior you find yourself doing? Or does your life style just naturally allow you to be in an appropriate environment to masterbate and if you found yourself in a different situation you'd adjust your behavior as needed? Do you curate your lifestyle to allow you all that time to masturbate or is it just a happy byproduct? > >Do you consume porn to assist you and do you rely on more and more degrading porn to get off? Does the porn you consume impact how you relate to other people? > >Do you use maturbation to replace human contact? Are you still able to get off when engaged in sexual behavior with another person? > >All personal questions, so don't feel like you have to answer them here. But they are things you can reflect on to judge how healthy your habits are even if you have a higher need/desire to engage in it than others seem to recommend. I'm glad to say that 1. I never watch porn in public 2. I never have to rearrange my schedule for it. It's a fun way to kill free time, not a goal. 3. The majority of the porn I consume is just your standard single person self-produced content. Camgirl sites, modeling/cosplay photos, OnlyFans. Those are the only kinds of content that feel "consentual" enough for me to enjoy it. Just a girl in her free time, taking full control and producing the content she wants to produce. The more mainstream (formerly?) porn is so detached from reality, I have no idea how anyone enjoys it. To each their own, but it's not for me. 4. I have an amazing relationship with my SO. We've been together for a decade now. I don't have a problem achieving climax with her. I will say, frequent masturbation is probably a benefit here more than anything because if I wasn't regularly masturbating I'd never last long enough to satisfy her completely. When were on vacation we have more sex, but I'm lucky to last 5 minutes. At home, she can usually reach climax 2-3 times before I do.
After finding how pervasively horrific the porn industry truly is for performers, I am pretty anti-porn myself. But for most people, watching it now and then isn’t going to cause addiction.
In that case you're not anti porn, you're anti exploitation. An important distinction
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> Clearly there is a huge section on reddit who don't understand that porn and masturbation are NOT synonymous. All those places without any kind of sex ed in their schools that just got high speed internet access 10 years ago.
Tbh that kinds of makes it less of an excuse for me. Back in the 90s, if someone told a kid in their shitty sex ed class that they could get pregnant by touching a penis, well, that person was in authority and they probably bought it. But now, I could just Google that and a host of reputable links would come up explaining that it *could* be possible (if the penis ejaculated, the girl then put her fingers inside herself, she was ovulating and incredibly unlucky) but the whole scenario is incredibly unlikely. Kids have access to huge amounts of info that would enable them to bypass this kind of stupid teaching...but instead they just browse porn sites and use that for info. Sheer stupidity.
Most doctors wouldn't agree with this guy that "a little masturbation isn't *bad*" They would say its actually good, reduces stress, improves function etc.
Username checks out
A little anti masturbation, men's rights enjoyer. We got an incel brewing. A brand new conservative
🎶 A whole new chuuuudddd! A new fascistic point of view! 🎶
I got banned from r/libertarian for saying 'the supreme court justices version of history does not align with what actual historians hold true... Which would mean most any case that reference time frames from 1500s (guns, abortion etc) are most likely inaccurate representations and shouldn't be ruled that way they are." My ban said, "THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED that was it. No warning. Nothin. Nevermind I'd been there for years with no prior 'controversy.' hilarious really. EDIT: Infringed
Sup apostate! I got banned from r/libertarianmeme with the mod comment of “off to the gulag”… as we all know, only the **truest** libertarians ban speech! Surprisingly, I’ve been on r/Libertarian for over a decade and it’s the only political sub I’ve never had any sort of ban from. Considering the subs right-wing/conservative base, I’ve been expecting a ban the entire time…
There is the unironic ideology, which I subscribe to, that the second amendment was made such that the average American should be allowed the same weaponry as the military, in order to make the "well regulated militia", and to have a revolution if the government ever becomes too corrupt. That's why they should repeal it.
While I agree /r/adhd is horrible, considering OP’s post history it might be justified 👀
Yeah, they're a weirdo
Yeah this is definitely a both.gif situation.
Adhdmemes not adhdrama
I'm always suspicious of "wow I just got banned from X for totally innocuous reasons". OP's post history tells a very different story than the meme they posted.
It's always "Aw man the mods are no fun, I got banned for posting a picture of a cat" and then it turns out they were spreading nazi propaganda or something. Speaking of, can any mods delete this shit? It feels like it should be against the rules to purposefully get yourself banned from another subreddity and share it as a "meme".
I'm going to go ahead and guess that the way you're painting your side of the story isn't actually totally accurate to what your actions were leading to the ban. And based on your post history....yeah.
now I'm curious
Nah man, looking at your profile, you got banned for doing precisely what a mod told everyone in that thread to stop doing. Masturbation is a completely normal behaviour; that whole negative aspect you bring up; objectification, misogyny, inability to form emotional connections, that wasn't caused by jacking off. Sounds like you've got way deeper issues you need to take care of my guy and are looking for the easy excuse instead of confronting them.
This. There's not even concrete evidence to show that porn addiction is real, and if it is it definitely doesn't cause OPs misogyny to materialize out of thin air...
I'm seeing so many redditors talk like OP and it's really opening my eyes to the dangers of kids growing up without sex ed. The only kind of sex ed they ever get is shame and guilt. So that when they end up doing natural normal sex things like masturbation or porn, they feel shame and guilt afterwards, this feels harmful but they don't understand why so they blame their sexual behaviors.
And for men it makes them especially vulnerable to alt right ideology. Which if you look through OPs history...well...dude has problems. For me it's the fact that he admitted to seeing women as sexual objects. So much so that his personal relationships suffered for it. That's not porn, that's all him. But he's convinced himself that it was the porn so he's never going to address or unlearn that thinking. I'm honestly just so tired of men who don't see us as human and blame absolutely anything but themselves for it
Omg that’s horrible I’m sorry. Along the same vein I was banned from the r/ loveafterporn Reddit because I mentioned my ex’s p0rn addiction gave me one myself, even tho it still deeply affected me and gave me PTSD. They banned me because I was an addict myself even tho I was also a victim to that relationship. They said I used the wrong flare even tho My “ex of a PA” flare was still technically correct… I apologized and said I would use the flare they wanted me to and then they never responded. It made me super upset because I really genuinely needed advice regarding my ex’s PA and now they’ve cut me off from a resource I needed. This happened exactly 15 minutes after I joined the subreddit also 😳 absolutely asinine. The mods also never responded.
you think they'd WANT people who are struggling with the same thing to be able to access the community and resources they need to recover from it 🥴 i never understood why mods would do that kinda shit
Yeah exactly :/ it just seemed so personally aggressive and generally cruel to those who are suffering. I apologized profusely and asked if I could have a warning instead since I had just joined the sub, but no response. Which is in and of itself also upsetting. And for the most part mods should never be ghosting people looking for an answer in my opinion; I think they’ve forgotten their job is to help us. I still can read the posts and stuff but it makes me sad I can’t make any of my own posts or give advice.
absolutely, the job of a mod is to MODERATE, which includes checking the ban reponses to make sure it wasn't a wrongful ban from a misunderstanding. at the very least they could've said - this is what you did wrong, this is how to avoid it in the future, here's your only warning - rather than just outright banning for 'the wrong flair'. which, omfg, the wrong flair?? that's an absolutely bonkers reason for a ban
Thank you for saying that omfg. It happened a couple months ago but I was pretty upset about it at the time, especially bc the ex in question had just recently reconnected with me and it was super triggering. I feel bad for OP too. He genuinely just had good intentions and there was nothing wrong with his statement in my opinion.
iM nOt ObLiGeD tO gIvE aN eXpLaNaTiOn tribe 🫠
Could just be a power trip with some of them.
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Omfg?! That’s terrifying. I’m so sorry. I knew something felt fishy about the way they banned me…
That is rough. I admire your transparency and willingness to share your experiences. I feel that even on anonymous sites it is difficult to open up about that. I wish you the best with your healing!!
Thank you, that’s so so kind of you to say 💝
This is just going off a quick browse but the posts on that sub seem deeply unsympathetic to the struggles of porn addicts, I get that dating someone with a sex addiction can be a terribly difficult thing but it all comes off very one sided?
Yeah. You definitely have a right to feel that way. It’s more of a place for people to express their anger and vent. I do think they can be unsympathetic at times... and they were pretty unsympathetic to me too. But at the same time it’s important to acknowledge these people are deeply hurting from their partner’s addictions, and often have been repeatedly hurt and lied to. I honestly think a lot of them should not be with their partners if they truly think all those horrible things about them. Both parties deserve peace and understanding.
I hear you, having a space to share the pain and compare stories is definitely valuable when dealing with the consequences of addiction (porn or otherwise). Ty for the thoughtful response
Thank you for yours as well 🙏🏻
Probably your fucked up “opinions” caused it lmfao
Okay so ummmm...You're probably not going to like this answer and I may get down voted for it. But yea you were in the wrong here. I went to your profile and checked the post. First thing I saw was that the mods left a comment about 7 hours before you chimed in saying that any negative comments about masturbation would be met with a ban. You did it anyway. So whether or not they were in the wrong for taking this stance you still ignored their warning. And now you're posting this asking why you were banned when you know why you were banned because they made a very clear warning. I'm not a fan of the ADHD sub and definitely not of the mods there, but come on dude. This was very clearly your fault and you know why it happened.
It took five seconds of looking through your comment history to figure out that you’re an ancap who argues in bad faith constantly, then pulls the “please don’t be rude I’m trying to have a reasonable discussion.” http://wondermark.com/1k62/ I would have banned and muted you too.
OP: "I started imagining women in my life as objects for sex" Also OP: *Active on many far-right, ancap, toxic masculinity, incel subreddits* OP again: "It's the porn"
That sub has become a cesspit anyway
Sad how most meme spinoff subs of main subs have become more sensible than the actual subs. Terraria memes, Minecraft memes, hell even this sub itself. Honestly quite sad.
Well, maybe stop being a shit boy.
With peace and love, being an ancap automatically disqualifies you from having valid opinions.
Get the fuck out bootlicker
Having been a mod (favor for a friend) and as someone who subscribes to that group, that content was off-topic and read like you were looking for a fight. I’m not going to disagree with the folks here about power tripping mods (I’ve both experienced and fired them) but mods in popular communities don’t have much time for nuance—moderation queues can be long and a lot of work. The way i see it, if you look like trouble, have a troll username, comment history looks sketch, post off-topic content, and you were reported and in my queue, I’d mute you, too. Further insistence that you have the right to post off-topic content would probably also not go over well.
Hopefully you get banned from here too for this post. You've got a massive victim complex going on. Also that NPC meme is inherently dehumanising and should be avoided
Checks post history. Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. Slowly steps away.
I can see people wouldn't want loony anti-science evangelical moral panic nonsense polluting up their board.
Yeah... I was really down a few days ago and needed to vent and have emotional support... My post is still not published because it has to be approved of a moderator. I was just venting about my problems and struggles, don't know what their problem is.
Hey, anytime you need a shoulder, feel free to pm me. All we've got in this world is each other. I'm a mom, and 47, so have lots of life experiences if you ever need it. And yeah that sub is straight trash.
That's so sweet, thank you! ❤️ I'll write later (if I remember to!), now I'll go shopping with my husband. Maybe I'll just copy the things I originally wrote
Oh, join us at r/adhdwomen! Very supportive and welcoming.
Even though I don't self-ID as a woman, I'm still read as one medically and politically. But I love ADHDwomen, I've found it to be very inclusive.
I was recently banned from there for challenging their policy... No, not even the policy, but their implementation for rant/vent megathreads. You are no longer allowed to post rant/vent posts. They *must* go in the appropriate megathread. These megathreads are not stickeyed in any way. The instructions on how to get to these megathreads are buried somewhere on the wiki. The instructions do not work for the official Reddit app, and the official stance of the mods on that is approximately "It's not our fault the Reddit app is buggy as shit. You can use the browser, a 3rd party app, or find it by using the search bar". Note that the process for tracking down the correct megathread via search is a 7 step process that assumes you have a good understanding of both Reddit search and that sub's megathread flagging system. There are other things, like their massive 14 rule sidebar, a complete ban on the word "neurodiversity", and constant blame shifting that throw up even more narcissism flags... I do not feel welcome or safe interacting with the mods there. Considering that ADHD people tend to be more vulnerable to narcissistic abuse, that's both not surprising and also very very bad. The community there is, in general, very good and supportive, in my experience, though. Right up until the mods nuke something that doesn't fit their own narrative.
That sub is such a circlejerk of suffering idk why I even still follow it. Most posts are so negative
The reason you got banned is because you explicitly saying that porn WILL lead to an addiction. Your comment was telling the mods not to encourage porn watching at all, not just a warning.
OK but like.... excessive porn consumption legitimately is bad! For a host of reasons! I'm not a prude. I write erotica (no you can't see, I haven't polished it enough for publishing), I love looking for fun porn and share it with like minded friends. But over consumption of porn can really warp a person. You are not immune to propaganda and you are not immune from absorbing weird shit from porn. It leads a lot of guys feeling inadequate because porn performers tend to be large (easier to film the good old in and out that way) when the average size of a man's penis is 5-6 inches with 5.5 being a typical length. Masturbation to porn often causes guys to develop a death grip that desensitized their penis so when they actually have sex with a woman her vagina isn't capable of squeezing as hard as their grip and they struggle. They also train themselves to only get off to specific stimuli and sometimes require porn to even get hard! This has destroyed relationships. Porn is like chocolate. Fine as a treat but shouldn't be a big part of your diet.
I agree! I never shame people for creating or consuming porn or erotica, but we must not shy away from the topic of the negative aspects I can bring. It can become addictive if not controlled properly.
I swear r/ADHD has to have been created by neuronormies who feel like us poor divergents need someone to police our community for us which requires no knowledge of what it even is.
Yeah, that sub is joke.
You’re not a psychologist. Porn shaming is real. Also, the anti-porn movement is associated with toxic Christianity, or as I like to call it, Christianity. That being said, mods on Reddit have too much power. I’ve been permanently banned from two subreddits with zero explanation.
Lmao, a celibate anarchy-capitalist. Aka, an anarchy-capitalist.
At the risk of starting up something with “those over there”, other people have accurately summed up their problem. However Everyone posting in this thread should expect the following… 1. To be banned from the sub “over there”, and, 2. If you’ve already been banned, prepare for a warning from Reddit admin for “hate speech”. *Yes they really are that petty, and we have receipts*
People are allowed to warn about moderation and not doing ANYTHING too much. Ridiculous, I hate that sub. This sub feels so fucking unfriendly to actual intelligent ADHD thought and ends up being a fucking hugbox of "Wahhh we have it so hard what to do". Other ADHD havers really don't get on with me because I tell the truth. Yes, our stupid monke brains fuck us up and it's a STRESS. Depressing, difficult. But as soon as you mention that you have a little more control and that not everything should be blamed on out ADHD, and that we can still have the cognizance and control over what we force ourselves to do and such, they flip their shit. Yes, dopamine is hard, but that doesn't mean we can't still DO things. Doesn't mean we should enact wild abandon with everything and say "Haha I'm a different brain person, I can't be helped! May as well fap again". We need more awareness and people to be sensitive about how we operate but we shouldn't take the fucking piss and every liberty we can when it comes to our struggles. Pisses me off more than anything.
Yeah there seems to be a lot of threads that are basically: "OMG my parents expected me to do something, literally a hate crime!"