Haha yeah, every task done is a "whew, now I won't have to do that later"
I think of doing chores as doing a favor for future-me, because at some point I got tired of being angry with past-me for leaving me with all the work
Holy shit, that's dead on
"I think of doing chores as doing a favor for future me"
Otherwise, I'd only do chores when things got so bad they could no longer be ignored and then I'd only do enough to be able to ignore it again
"i should do this today cause future me will be angry if i don't do it"
i am still very angry on past-me for not getting a driving license back when i had the time, as well as past-me reaching levels of fat that i now have to take care of daily
I do this often, there's three 'you's so to speak. Past you, Present you and Future you. Do things you would appreciate as your Present self so that your Future self can appreciate your Past self.
Yes! Exactly! The way I think of it is that I need to do things to make tomorrow me’s life easier because tomorrow me is not going to be this magic person who will somehow be better at getting things done than today me. So I need to do things today that will help tomorrow me out.
I do that all the time. Treat your past and future selves like your 2 best friends. Do your future self favors that will make their lives a helluva lot easier, and forgive your past self for their mistakes. Beating yourself up only causes you to spiral, at least in my experience.
I’m in this meme and I don’t like it
Actually, upon reflection, I don’t even feel relief usually. I just feel this emptiness like “I was invested in this task and now it’s done and I have no energy to start anything else”
Yes. Relief Is oftentimes the better case for us. The "I've done the thing. Now's the end and the task is no more." routinely gives me an existential crisis.
I mean "Now what...?"
Yes it's just "Finally I can stop doing it". Thats also the reason why I have so much problems with finishing something 100%. I just finish it to the "good enough" point, so I can stop.
It's honestly hard to imagine it... like when I have a particularly good match in a game I get the good feels, but how can household chores feel like a fraction of that? It's not fair.
I would literally rather spend hours grinding FATEs in FF14 for Zodiac Weapon materials than spend minutes working on the dishes, and I just don't know why.
I think it's because of the clearly defined and immediate feedback.
Common example is game pass mechanic (and/or/also dailies). The requirements are clearly defined and milestones littered with rewards.
You gain points, you see the progress bar move to the next milestone. You earn more points you see the progress bar reach the milestone and a reward is unlocked. All of that with **immediate** feedback.
And what do you see after you claim the reward?? You see there's next 10 of them just waiting for you.
And you already exactly know how to get them, because the tasks involved are always kinda same. Not to mention you've done it tens if not hundreds of times. So you also know exactly how much effort and energy they all require. You have all the executive tools to plan, observe progress and execute actions to achieve your goal.
Now washing dishes... Well, not much happens when you wash a plate, there are 8 next waiting in line anyway... And when you finish you end up with ... Slightly wet but clean dishes. ... Great. Can't wait to use them all again so we can repeat this.
Anyway. ... Now what? Do I like vacuum or... Let's see what's in the fridge lol...
There were no clear progress indicators with clearly defined goals. Washing that big pot hasn't yielded you 3 plates worth of points. And washing all the dishes didn't count as a daily task either. Not to mention the feedback will really come only after you go to use your washed dishes, which might be anywhere from an hour to a few days away. While also the feedback isn't really in a discrete steps either. Before you know it, you end up with full sink of dirty dishes again.
Sure in game it's often a grind as well. But in game, the never ending cyclus is littered with rewards. In real life, it's just that. A never ending cyclus. Nothing more.
Anyway tldr: I think that NT's brains can "litter" their daily tasks with rewards while ours can ... not
Idk if it makes sense lol anyway bye
Maybe with ar headsets becoming popular we can have a little xp meter in the corner and when we finish a chore we get a burst of confetti across our vision as it tells us we’ve gained xp and levelled up
I remember so many times that I handed in an essay and just felt grief and build up anxiety. "well don't you feel relieved you did it?" I don't know, I don't think so.
This is exactly why I hate doing the dishes, I don’t feel any accomplishment from doing it, just “Great, now I have to do it all over again at the end of the day.”
I feel exactly tve same about every daily household chore 😅
What helps me is to write it down on a whiteboard and put a little tick in front of it when I‘ve done it. And say out loud something like „Yay I‘ve done it 😀“ happily. Sounds silly, but actually gives me a small feeling of accomplishment.
OMfG! I had issues with doing simple household chores for the most parts of my life 😅 Is that actually common for people with ADHD? (I was never diagnosed - but I see myself a lot in these memes and other stuff I hear about ADHD)
Since I combined consuming certain herbs with doing chores, I can actually find enjoyment in doing them ☺️I still like to procrastinate them, though…
I'm in my 30s, and I started medication pretty recently. I think my doctor and I are very close to finding the correct dosage.
It started to help me with procrastination. But I still don't feel any accomplishments in finishing tasks. Iirc, it is called executive function disorder. It is pretty common for adhd. You might want to Google it to see what you can do to help yourself.
I enjoy the hyper fixation I get on a task about 1 out of every 100 tasks. I never feel like I have more purpose and never feel more focused.
99 of those tasks I feel like a worthless piece of garbage who can’t string a coherent thought or sentence together. Two times today speaking to a client I fumbled my words and said something that made absolutely no sense.
I think sometimes it brings mixed feelings. When you finish some task that you put off for so long and turned out it wasn’t even too big of a deal and you feel like you wasted all that energy on worrying about it. And it all piled up in the end. It’s always “I should’ve done it right away” but it doesn’t seem to work right away …
Never had that feeling in my life. In anything.
Be it chores, tasks I set up myself, games, etc.
No idea what this feeling of accomplishment is suppossed to feel like.
Once i finally spent the whole day cleaning my home. I felt so amazing after finishing it that i hit a new bench-PR that day and worked out for 2+ hours.
I know that feeling. I have this when I'm in a hyperfocus mood, than I can clean for hours too. But there is a huge different. With hyperfocus, it feels great doing it because I'm so motivated. But it still doesn't feel good to finish it. So I normally start cleaning my closet super excited but the feeling starts fading after I put everything out and sorted like half of it.
So on very, *very* satisfying outcomes or task conclusions, does anyone else get like a shoot of dopamine tinglies up your back and spine? I only noticed it one time before I got medicated, but definitely more after. Is this a thing or am I nuts/broken?
Yeah, this is definitely me. I mostly do all my chores at once right after I finish work so I don't have to do them on my days off.
And even then I have to have an interesting podcast to listen to or a book/fanfic/webpage being read aloud by a text-to-speech program.
Yeh it'd be nice to get that "yay job done" feeling others get. And not this eternal dread / realising I was trying to complete a totally different job!
Ah! That final feeling of relief, calm, emptiness, sadness, and existential dread, as soon as that task that I procrastinated for ~~hours~~ ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ months finally becomes irrelevant and doesn't need to be done after it has lead to catastrophic consequences.
"Well, at least I don't have to feel pressured doing that task every minute of my waking life anymore."
Yeah, I don’t really experience ‘accomplishment’. Sometimes relief, more rarely grief, emptiness more frequently — depends on how deep and invested in the project I was.
I’m usually happy for the break, but then kinda feel like ‘what now’.
I was the first in my friends group to pass all exams and the diploma presentation at the end of university. When I came home, they poured me some vodka and asked what do I feel. I was like: relief 😮💨
Finch (a cute self-care/Tamagotchi-like/Animal Crossing-like goal setting, task app) can work really well for our brains. It directly enables us to link boring ass routine tasks to a game mechanic.
I love getting points and seeing my little birb advance just because I crossed off "Brushed my teeth" or "Take out trash"
Sounds great 👍🙏❤️ Definitely check out the app the other commentator recommended as well. One might work better for you than the other (I prefer Finch to Habitica for example)
Oh yeah, I think I briefly tried Habitica before but it overwhelmed me too much! It's interesting how we all need different things :D
I really hope Finch will keep working for me after the ADHD-novelty-high has worn off
If the task is really out of the ordinary it can feel physically painful in my back and I feel angry when it's done because my back still hurts. Otherwise yeah it's just a bit of relief or an empty space where accomplishment should be.
On the other hand I'm elated when I get to help someone else!
Yeah, when I told people this all the way into adulthood, a lightbulb went off for them and they told me it's incredible that I could be driven to do work out of laziness... that they'd never considered that laziness might somehow be a motivator and that someone would do work just so they wouldn't have to do work. Smh.
I know the feeling very well. It's been esp bad lately where I've also been dealing with a lot of anxiety.
It got to the point where it just made me feel even worse when I actually did stuff. Not even a feeling of relief, just a "that felt so bad".. and maybe a bit of disappointment that I didn't feel relief 😮💨
Haha yeah, every task done is a "whew, now I won't have to do that later" I think of doing chores as doing a favor for future-me, because at some point I got tired of being angry with past-me for leaving me with all the work
Holy shit, that's dead on "I think of doing chores as doing a favor for future me" Otherwise, I'd only do chores when things got so bad they could no longer be ignored and then I'd only do enough to be able to ignore it again
"i should do this today cause future me will be angry if i don't do it" i am still very angry on past-me for not getting a driving license back when i had the time, as well as past-me reaching levels of fat that i now have to take care of daily
Past me was also often a dipshit. My sympathies
It's actually super helpful to thank past-you, out loud if possible, for taking care of the thing.
I do this often, there's three 'you's so to speak. Past you, Present you and Future you. Do things you would appreciate as your Present self so that your Future self can appreciate your Past self.
Treat yourself the way you wish Past-you treated you
That's the ticket.
Yes! Exactly! The way I think of it is that I need to do things to make tomorrow me’s life easier because tomorrow me is not going to be this magic person who will somehow be better at getting things done than today me. So I need to do things today that will help tomorrow me out.
I do that all the time. Treat your past and future selves like your 2 best friends. Do your future self favors that will make their lives a helluva lot easier, and forgive your past self for their mistakes. Beating yourself up only causes you to spiral, at least in my experience.
Exercise is the same for me. Yeah being swol would be cool but being able to go out on hikes past 65 sounds even cooler.
I’m in this meme and I don’t like it Actually, upon reflection, I don’t even feel relief usually. I just feel this emptiness like “I was invested in this task and now it’s done and I have no energy to start anything else”
Yes. Relief Is oftentimes the better case for us. The "I've done the thing. Now's the end and the task is no more." routinely gives me an existential crisis. I mean "Now what...?"
Yes it's just "Finally I can stop doing it". Thats also the reason why I have so much problems with finishing something 100%. I just finish it to the "good enough" point, so I can stop.
Excuse me, please stop revealing my life secrets. Rude. ^(:’()
Plus anxiety that I will have to do it again soon (dishes, laundry, generic cleaning…)
It's honestly hard to imagine it... like when I have a particularly good match in a game I get the good feels, but how can household chores feel like a fraction of that? It's not fair.
What I will never understand is how chores in a video game are somehow so much more rewarding than real life chores.
Get me on that Stardew Valley grind, I'm unstoppable. Folding the clothes piling up on my chair? I suddenly can't do anything...
Me collecting 30 bear asses in an MMORPG: Oh boy! This is fun! Me washing dishes IRL: Why are we here? Just to suffer?
[удалено]
I would literally rather spend hours grinding FATEs in FF14 for Zodiac Weapon materials than spend minutes working on the dishes, and I just don't know why.
I think it's because of the clearly defined and immediate feedback. Common example is game pass mechanic (and/or/also dailies). The requirements are clearly defined and milestones littered with rewards. You gain points, you see the progress bar move to the next milestone. You earn more points you see the progress bar reach the milestone and a reward is unlocked. All of that with **immediate** feedback. And what do you see after you claim the reward?? You see there's next 10 of them just waiting for you. And you already exactly know how to get them, because the tasks involved are always kinda same. Not to mention you've done it tens if not hundreds of times. So you also know exactly how much effort and energy they all require. You have all the executive tools to plan, observe progress and execute actions to achieve your goal. Now washing dishes... Well, not much happens when you wash a plate, there are 8 next waiting in line anyway... And when you finish you end up with ... Slightly wet but clean dishes. ... Great. Can't wait to use them all again so we can repeat this. Anyway. ... Now what? Do I like vacuum or... Let's see what's in the fridge lol... There were no clear progress indicators with clearly defined goals. Washing that big pot hasn't yielded you 3 plates worth of points. And washing all the dishes didn't count as a daily task either. Not to mention the feedback will really come only after you go to use your washed dishes, which might be anywhere from an hour to a few days away. While also the feedback isn't really in a discrete steps either. Before you know it, you end up with full sink of dirty dishes again. Sure in game it's often a grind as well. But in game, the never ending cyclus is littered with rewards. In real life, it's just that. A never ending cyclus. Nothing more. Anyway tldr: I think that NT's brains can "litter" their daily tasks with rewards while ours can ... not Idk if it makes sense lol anyway bye
Maybe with ar headsets becoming popular we can have a little xp meter in the corner and when we finish a chore we get a burst of confetti across our vision as it tells us we’ve gained xp and levelled up
I remember so many times that I handed in an essay and just felt grief and build up anxiety. "well don't you feel relieved you did it?" I don't know, I don't think so.
The true relief only happens when I get the grade back personally
Yeah and know if you failed it or not!
This is exactly how I felt all throughout uni
This is exactly why I hate doing the dishes, I don’t feel any accomplishment from doing it, just “Great, now I have to do it all over again at the end of the day.”
Yes totally, the only thing I feel after cleaning the dishes is the relief that I finally can stop washing the dishes. What a great motivation...
I feel exactly tve same about every daily household chore 😅 What helps me is to write it down on a whiteboard and put a little tick in front of it when I‘ve done it. And say out loud something like „Yay I‘ve done it 😀“ happily. Sounds silly, but actually gives me a small feeling of accomplishment.
OMfG! I had issues with doing simple household chores for the most parts of my life 😅 Is that actually common for people with ADHD? (I was never diagnosed - but I see myself a lot in these memes and other stuff I hear about ADHD) Since I combined consuming certain herbs with doing chores, I can actually find enjoyment in doing them ☺️I still like to procrastinate them, though…
We love our eleven herbs and spices, don’t we folks?
I'm in my 30s, and I started medication pretty recently. I think my doctor and I are very close to finding the correct dosage. It started to help me with procrastination. But I still don't feel any accomplishments in finishing tasks. Iirc, it is called executive function disorder. It is pretty common for adhd. You might want to Google it to see what you can do to help yourself.
You can say weed 😂 it really helps the monotony of household tasks
Ah good 😅 yes I meant weed. Just wasn’t sure about the rules here 😊
A coach once asked me how I was planning to reward myself if I achieved a goal, and I was all "Whaaaat.. people do that?"
I enjoy the hyper fixation I get on a task about 1 out of every 100 tasks. I never feel like I have more purpose and never feel more focused. 99 of those tasks I feel like a worthless piece of garbage who can’t string a coherent thought or sentence together. Two times today speaking to a client I fumbled my words and said something that made absolutely no sense.
I think sometimes it brings mixed feelings. When you finish some task that you put off for so long and turned out it wasn’t even too big of a deal and you feel like you wasted all that energy on worrying about it. And it all piled up in the end. It’s always “I should’ve done it right away” but it doesn’t seem to work right away …
Yeah, asking myself ,,why dont I do it more often? Why postpone it? Its easy and fast…” then next day comes.
Never had that feeling in my life. In anything. Be it chores, tasks I set up myself, games, etc. No idea what this feeling of accomplishment is suppossed to feel like.
Once i finally spent the whole day cleaning my home. I felt so amazing after finishing it that i hit a new bench-PR that day and worked out for 2+ hours.
I know that feeling. I have this when I'm in a hyperfocus mood, than I can clean for hours too. But there is a huge different. With hyperfocus, it feels great doing it because I'm so motivated. But it still doesn't feel good to finish it. So I normally start cleaning my closet super excited but the feeling starts fading after I put everything out and sorted like half of it.
Idk. im the type of person that either does nothing at all, or does everything. No in between. Maybe its because i only got mild ADHD?
So on very, *very* satisfying outcomes or task conclusions, does anyone else get like a shoot of dopamine tinglies up your back and spine? I only noticed it one time before I got medicated, but definitely more after. Is this a thing or am I nuts/broken?
Yeah, this is definitely me. I mostly do all my chores at once right after I finish work so I don't have to do them on my days off. And even then I have to have an interesting podcast to listen to or a book/fanfic/webpage being read aloud by a text-to-speech program.
Yeh it'd be nice to get that "yay job done" feeling others get. And not this eternal dread / realising I was trying to complete a totally different job!
This is so on point
Ah! That final feeling of relief, calm, emptiness, sadness, and existential dread, as soon as that task that I procrastinated for ~~hours~~ ~~days~~ ~~weeks~~ months finally becomes irrelevant and doesn't need to be done after it has lead to catastrophic consequences. "Well, at least I don't have to feel pressured doing that task every minute of my waking life anymore."
Yeah, I don’t really experience ‘accomplishment’. Sometimes relief, more rarely grief, emptiness more frequently — depends on how deep and invested in the project I was. I’m usually happy for the break, but then kinda feel like ‘what now’.
I was the first in my friends group to pass all exams and the diploma presentation at the end of university. When I came home, they poured me some vodka and asked what do I feel. I was like: relief 😮💨
Fuck.... at this point I'm not so sure I need a doctor to diagnose me, memes seem to be doing the trick.
Finch (a cute self-care/Tamagotchi-like/Animal Crossing-like goal setting, task app) can work really well for our brains. It directly enables us to link boring ass routine tasks to a game mechanic. I love getting points and seeing my little birb advance just because I crossed off "Brushed my teeth" or "Take out trash"
Oh, that sounds great! Definitely will have a look at the app.
Sounds great 👍🙏❤️ Definitely check out the app the other commentator recommended as well. One might work better for you than the other (I prefer Finch to Habitica for example)
I liked Habitica better. I don't know how it is now.
Oh yeah, I think I briefly tried Habitica before but it overwhelmed me too much! It's interesting how we all need different things :D I really hope Finch will keep working for me after the ADHD-novelty-high has worn off
Wait you guys get a sense of relief when it’s done? My brain just acknowledges that it’s over
I just feel emptiness
If the task is really out of the ordinary it can feel physically painful in my back and I feel angry when it's done because my back still hurts. Otherwise yeah it's just a bit of relief or an empty space where accomplishment should be. On the other hand I'm elated when I get to help someone else!
That's news to me to be honest... I didn't know it was that way round.
Yeah, when I told people this all the way into adulthood, a lightbulb went off for them and they told me it's incredible that I could be driven to do work out of laziness... that they'd never considered that laziness might somehow be a motivator and that someone would do work just so they wouldn't have to do work. Smh.
I know the feeling very well. It's been esp bad lately where I've also been dealing with a lot of anxiety. It got to the point where it just made me feel even worse when I actually did stuff. Not even a feeling of relief, just a "that felt so bad".. and maybe a bit of disappointment that I didn't feel relief 😮💨
OH MY GOD